When Love Fades
by kizukatana
Summary: Sometimes everyday pressures and small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Will he be able to get it back in the end? Break-up/Make-up but NOT a cheating fic! Main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa AU. CONTENT EDITED per ToS.
1. Dissatisfaction

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa

 **Disclaimer:** All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. And I don't make any money off this fic. I just save money in therapy sessions by working through my issues through writing fanfic.

 **Author's note** : So… many of you have seen my profile note looking for COMPLETED break-up/make-up fics and based on what I've heard back from folks, there really aren't many out there. If it's abandoned/incomplete then it's just a BREAK-UP fic, and that isn't what I want. Those are easy to write. Bringing the pair back together is what is hard. I don't give partial credit LOL. So I have been writing a few of my own to feed my hunger for this trope because it is my favorite. This fic will be long, because we are going to go all the way through the break up, the separation, then the make-up. The makeup will take TIME, since it will require a complete re-building of the relationship. Also, this story is really more about grown-up relationships and real life and it is not my usual 'highly idealized' version of relationships that I have had so much fun pretending could exist in my other stories. I don't know how people will feel about this story, but I really want to write it so… I am going to LOL.

 **Dec 7, 2017** \- a recent reader recently reminded me that this story does not comply with FF's Terms of Service, so I am taking out all the explicit scenes. The full version will still be available on AO3 dot org, under Kizukatana. Yet another reason why I don't post on this site anymore!

 **Chapter 1 - Dissatisfaction.**

* * *

Naruto stood in the shower, feeling the stress of the day slowly leaching out of his shoulders as the hot water pounded his flesh before swirling down the drain, carrying it away. He took his time washing himself. There was no rush. As usual, Sasuke was working late. Or maybe he was home, working in his office. It didn't really matter. It had been almost nine months since Sasuke had stopped being around even occasionally to join Naruto in the shower before bed. And seven months since Naruto had stopped delaying his shower on the off chance that Sasuke would slip into the steamy room behind him.

Naruto's hands lathered the soap, washing under his arms, across his tan, muscled chest, then slowly lower. He felt himself hardening under his own touch. He sighed, half in frustration and half in the early stirrings of arousal. Given that they hadn't had sex in months, he supposed it wasn't surprising that his body was reacting to the slight stimulation. He slid his hand lower, trying not to think about the fact that when they'd first moved into the apartment three years ago, they'd had to soundproof the bathroom and bedroom walls to avoid complaints from the neighbors.

There were no complaints to worry about now.

Both rooms were always silent, even on the few nights when Sasuke did come to bed before Naruto was asleep. They used to have sex for hours. Now, the few times it even happened, it was over and done in ten minutes - from foreplay through to afterglow. A simple release of tension for the both of them, but there was no 'playing' anymore.

Naruto felt his arousal fade at his thoughts. It wasn't that he didn't love Sasuke anymore.

But he resented the hell out of him.

When they had graduated college, Naruto had been offered an internship at one of the leading magazines in Japan as a photographer. The pay wasn't much, but it would have jump-started his career. But the job had been in another city, and Sasuke had landed his dream job at one of the leading consumer electronics companies where they lived now. At the time, it had been an easy choice and Naruto had turned the job down without a second thought. He could be happy with a different job even if it wasn't as prestigious, but he didn't want to live hours away from his boyfriend for the foreseeable future.

But three years later, they were barely living together. Sasuke worked late almost every night and often on weekends. And even when he was home, he was usually either thinking about work or so exhausted he was catching up on his much needed sleep. They hardly ever spent any time together anymore.

Naruto was… lonely.

Naruto was a physically demonstrative guy. He liked to show affection physically, and to receive it in return. Sex wasn't all he cared about in a relationship, but it also wasn't totally insignificant, either. Naruto would never cheat. Ever. If he was with Sasuke, then that was who he was with. But the problem was that Sasuke wasn't around to _be_ with anymore. And it seemed like there was no end in sight to the rut they'd fallen into. Naruto wondered if this was what their relationship would be like from now on.

They still caught up every once in awhile with their friends from college who had stayed in the area, but that happened with less frequency with everyone moving on with their lives and Sasuke being so busy. A few of their single friends still went out to the bar or a club on weekends, but Naruto didn't really like to go without Sasuke. It felt... wrong to go to a bar alone when he was in a relationship, even if he wasn't going to pick someone up.

He had known that things would change after college. He wasn't stupid. They had more responsibilities now and worked in different places, with different people, on different things. It wasn't like back in college where they had shared friends and shared classes and were both students, even if it had been in different subjects.

The first year after graduation had been fine. They'd both been starting out, and they would lay in bed at night and talk to each other about how it was going, what they wanted to do, what they wanted to achieve... things they liked and hated about their work.

But it had gotten harder, working with the same people, dealing with the same bull shit every day at work. The stories started to all sound the same, so they just stopped telling them.

Then Sasuke's job had really started to take off.

At first, Naruto had been excited. He knew how much Sasuke craved recognition for his abilities, and he was getting it in spades. But Naruto started to feel like Sasuke didn't have any time outside of work anymore. Sasuke's job had become his boyfriend's whole life. Sasuke had said things would settle down as soon as the first project he was in charge of ended. But then someone from the team had gotten transferred, and they were short-handed and Sasuke had to cover until they hired a replacement. Then Sasuke was up for promotion, and needed to work hard. Then he had to learn the ropes in his new role when he'd _gotten_ the promotion.

Every time Sasuke reached one goal, another seemed to appear to take its place. Which - again - Naruto knew was natural, but it was the fact that Sasuke seemed to focus on his career to the exclusion of all else that he was struggling with. They hardly saw each other anymore, and rarely talked about anything other than schedules and bills due or chores to be done. Naruto couldn't even remember the last time they'd just hung out and talked without an agenda.

Was this what their relationship was going to be like now that they were out of college? Was this what 'grown-up' relationships were? It depressed the shit out of him.

Sasuke had always been rather cold and aloof with others, never opening up or talking about much. I had never bothered Naruto, because that wasn't how Sasuke was with _him_.

At least it didn't used to be.

Naruto had always needed a lot of attention. He could blame it on his shitty childhood or the way he was wired, but it was fundamentally part of who he was. It wasn't an aspect of himself he was proud of, but goddammit, Sasuke knew that about him when they started dating. Naruto didn't like to be alone all the time. He wanted someone he could talk to, to spend time with. Share his life with. It didn't need to be all sugary affection.

In fact, saccharine sweet was something that really turned Naruto off. He hated pretense, which was one of the things that had drawn him to Sasuke in the first place. Sasuke didn't sugar-coat things. He was brutally honest and up-front. And Naruto loved that about him, even if Sasuke could be an ass about it sometimes. Naruto wanted real emotions. It had never mattered that he and Sasuke fought as much as they fucked. It had been all-consuming either way and _real_.

But Sasuke wasn't around enough to fight with, either. Even when he was around, all he thought about was work. The deadlines, the office politics, the next promotion. Naruto didn't make the list anymore.

To be constantly blown off and ignored month after month for work was wearing on him. Naruto was tired of being the one to constantly initiate things. He'd tried fighting with Sasuke about it, but Sasuke always said things would get better as soon as he reached his next goal. Naruto didn't buy that anymore.

Naruto had thought that - if he stopped - Sasuke would take notice and do something. But that had been two months ago. If Sasuke realized that they'd basically stopped talking, he'd shown no sign.

Naruto felt the bitter anger build and shut off his thoughts. His mind shied away from what the obvious conclusion to all of this was. The shadowy truth that was lurking in the recesses of his mind, waiting to be acknowledged. He wasn't ready to go there yet.

Six years was a long time to just walk away.

Naruto cleared his mind, wanting to focus on just relieving the sexual frustration without all the associated baggage of thinking of Sasuke. Anger wasn't turning him on these days. He found the simple stimulation of his own hand insufficient, though. His mind searched through for some sort of imagery to help him along. He quickly rejected thinking about any of his co-workers or friends. That just felt… wrong. Instead his mind conjured up a memory of a photo that he'd used when he was in high school that he'd found in one of his uncle's porno magazines the man had kept 'hidden' in the bottom drawer of the bathroom. It had been of an attractive man chained to a bed, his lover between his legs.

Naruto's arousal slowly returned to life. He repressed any thoughts of Sasuke and himself. He didn't want to think about anything real now. He just wanted a fantasy, of two perfect lovers, satisfying each other's desires.

He let the image play out in his mind, imagining the backstory of who they were and exactly what happened as the figure kneeling on the bed lowered their mouth.

Naruto's breathing picking up until finally he came with a long groan against the shower wall. He watched as the shower quickly washed away the evidence of his pleasure.

As his breathing slowed, he realized that it was the first time in over six years that it wasn't the thought of his boyfriend that made him cum when he masturbated. He leaned his head against the tiles, wondering what to do.

The one thing he was certain of was that he had to do _something._ He couldn't keep on like this. This couldn't be what the rest of his life felt like.

With his thoughts muddled, he dried off and pulled on a pair of flannel pajama pants. For years, he had slept nude at Sasuke's insistence, but those days had long ended.

He pulled out his phone to check his schedule for the next day, no longer bothering to see if there was a message from Sasuke that he would be working late and letting him know when he'd be home. Naruto had a wedding that he was scheduled to shoot the next day, starting with photos of the wedding party in the morning before the ceremony, then through all the way to the reception that would go late into the night. It was the daughter of a fairly high-profile family, so Naruto needed to be sure all his equipment was working, extra batteries charged, flashes and lenses packed.

His work as a freelance photographer suited him. He'd slowly been moving up from children's birthday parties and office head-shots to weddings and occasional work for one of the regional newspapers. It wasn't the serious work he wanted to eventually do, but he was slowly honing his craft and building his network of clients and contacts. It was stressful, because there was no 'guarantee' of work week-to-week, but it was his passion and he was good at it. He loved his work, and at the moment he was grateful for that fact, since everything else seemed to be going to shit.

Zipping the large duffle that carried his tripod and extra lenses, Naruto set it on the coffee table then headed to bed.

* * *

Sasuke unlocked the door to their apartment. It was after midnight, but at least they'd finally found the problem with the design and could hand it over to production the next day. His eyes were bloodshot from staring at a computer screen all day and he had a headache from stress and lack of sleep.

The single light left on in the kitchen was the only sign that Naruto was home in the quiet apartment.

He saw the black duffle with Naruto's photo equipment on the coffee table, and assumed Naruto had a shoot the next morning. He eyed the bag somewhat hostilely. Photography had been Naruto's hobby when they met their freshman year in college. Even though Naruto's major in political science hadn't been that much more practical, Sasuke had been somewhat annoyed when Naruto had decided to make photography his career when they graduated.

Who wanted to spend their life taking pictures of snot-nosed kids at birthday parties, or trying to make the bride not look fat in her wedding photos? Naruto said he needed to start somewhere, but in the three years since they'd graduated, it didn't seem like it was going anywhere. And it certainly wasn't paying much.

At least _one_ of them had a real job.

Sasuke had majored in electrical engineering and gotten a job at a top consumer electronics company immediately after graduating. His skills had been recognized right away by his supervisor, and he'd been promoted to team leader by his third project. The project had been a huge success, developing a market-ready prototype six months ahead of schedule and on budget, something that was almost unheard of.

Sasuke had caught the attention of one of the senior VPs, and had been put on the fast-track ever since. It meant long hours and a lot of responsibility, but he excelled at it and thrived on the pressure and tangible evidence of his successes. It was addictive… the feeling of exceeding the expectations of his peers and supervisors. He'd always been second-best in his father's eyes compared to his prodigy older brother, but this was something that Sasuke could own. Itachi had gone into medicine and was still finishing his residency. They were in different fields, and finally the endless comparisons would stop.

Even though he was working sixty to seventy hours a week, Sasuke loved his job. Though it was starting to wear on him. He knew his long hours annoyed Naruto, but it was only temporary. He was just at a critical time in his career, and he needed to push hard.

Sasuke glanced at the empty dining table.

Since Naruto had more flexible working hours, the blond did most of the grocery shopping and maintenance on the apartment. On the days when Naruto didn't have a shoot, Naruto used to make dinner for them.

As Sasuke's career had advanced, his working hours had gotten longer and longer and most nights he was hours late for dinner. He'd try to let Naruto know when he was going to be late, but sometimes he was stuck in a meeting and couldn't call. Other times, he just didn't know how late things were going to run until it was already past the time when Naruto would have started cooking. When you were troubleshooting a design, sometimes it took three hours, sometimes three weeks to find the issue. There was no way to predict it.

More often than not lately, Sasuke would end up just having dinner in the office with his team. He'd had dinner at work earlier that evening, but the team had ordered something weird and he hadn't eaten much of it. He was hungry, but too tired to cook or stay up to order take-out.

He opened the refrigerator. There wasn't much inside. Naruto had started cooking less and packing the leftovers in his lunch when he had a shoot. Sasuke was glad in a sense that they'd stopped fighting about it. They had never had the same taste in foods, and Naruto had said there was no point in cooking something he didn't even like for someone who wasn't there to eat it.

It made sense. It was logical.

Neither of them liked wasting food. They hadn't grown up particularly wealthy, and food wasn't something you took for granted. Sasuke closed the refrigerator and pulled out a box of crackers. He tried not to remember how it had felt when Naruto used to wait up for him when he got home. When Naruto used to worry about whether Sasuke was getting enough sleep or eating enough.

It had only annoyed him at the time. Sasuke wasn't a child and he was more than capable of looking after himself. That was what he told himself.

Plus he was usually too tired to make conversation when he got back. The last thing he wanted to do after spending thirteen hours in his office was to come home and talk about it some more.

He put the half-empty box of crackers away, and poured himself a glass of water. He sighed as he saw that the garbage needed to be taken out. Sasuke was hardly home, so most of it had to be Naruto's shit. He considered leaving it for Naruto to deal with in the morning, but it bothered him to have the trash so full. He had always been fastidious about hygiene. Something Naruto had definitely improved on, but still occasionally had issues with.

Like tonight.

Sasuke grabbed the bag with somewhat more force than was necessary and took it down the hall to the trash chute. It was late and he was tired and still slightly hungry and the last thing he wanted to deal with was someone else's mess. He closed the door, not quite slamming it but also not bothering to make it quiet enough to ensure he didn't wake Naruto when he came back and washed his hands.

He walked to their bedroom. Naruto had left the closet light on so Sasuke could find his things when he got back. Sasuke unbuttoned his shirt and threw it in the dirty clothes hamper, the rest of his clothing rapidly following. He glanced over at the still form on the large bed as he pulled a pair of clean boxers out of his drawer and headed to the shower.

He frowned at the sight of Naruto's bright orange towel jammed into the towel rack. Turning on the shower, he walked over and straightened it so it would dry properly and not mildew. Sasuke could never understand how Naruto could use a towel in the morning that was still slightly damp from the night before. It took three seconds to straighten a fucking towel. Naruto was twenty-five. How could he not have learned this yet?

Irritation flickered through him as he stepped into the shower. The smell of Naruto's body wash still lingered from earlier in the evening, and unconsciously Sasuke drew in a deeper breath, taking it in. It relaxed Sasuke, somehow. Though he still preferred to use his own soap, he felt some of the tension leave his shoulders at the familiar scent of his lover, even though he wasn't with him.

He showered quickly, knowing he had to be back at the office early even though he had worked late. Maybe he'd see Naruto before his boyfriend left in the morning, but he doubted it. Usually when Naruto packed up the night before, it was because he had an early morning job, or his job was far enough away that he had to leave before traffic started getting bad.

Naruto had turned in his sleep, his back now to Sasuke as Sasuke set his alarm and slid into bed.

* * *

Naruto felt his phone vibrate under his pillow and he suppressed a groan, wishing he could sleep in just a little bit longer. He kept silent, though. On the mornings that he had to wake up early, he tried to avoid waking up Sasuke. _Not that the bastard had returned the favor last night, slamming the fucking door after midnight._

Naruto sighed as he stretched his arms over his head, trying to wake himself up in the early morning light. The site of the wedding shoot was three hours out of town. He didn't have time to laze around.

The sun was just barely coming up, but a ray of light spilled through a crack in the blinds, washing over the smooth, pale skin of Sasuke's back.

Naruto stilled for a moment, transfixed momentarily by the sight. Sasuke's face was relaxed in sleep, none of the hostility or coldness that it usually portrayed visible. His pink lips were slightly parted, dark, sooty lashes laying softly against the flawless, pale skin. Sasuke was still the most beautiful man Naruto had ever seen. He felt his throat close as he remembered the days when they would wake each other up, spending the early morning sweaty in the twisted sheets of their bed.

Or the even better mornings, when they'd simply lay together, talking about everything and nothing.

Naruto resisted the urge to brush his lips against his lover's. He didn't want to wake him and have to see his lover's dark eyes grow cold with annoyance, breaking the illusion of intimacy that their shared bed still preserved.

Silently, he slid from the covers, shivering as his bare feet touched the cold floor.

* * *

Sasuke woke up five minutes before his alarm went off. He didn't need to look to the other side of the bed to know that Naruto was already gone. The blankets were cool; the apartment still and quiet. He realized that Naruto must have had to get up earlier than usual, and wondered briefly where his shoot was.

In the early days, he always knew exactly where Naruto was going and what he was doing. They'd send each other texts during the day… just little notes about what was happening, wanting to have at least some sort of contact with each other. Sasuke picked up his phone from the nightstand, but there were no messages.

He hadn't expected any, really.

He got up and made the bed, his mind already focused on the project he was working on and the meetings he had that day. The apartment was quiet, but he was used to it. They days when he and Naruto would talk over their morning coffee had become fewer and farther between.

He walked to the kitchen table, picking up the note Naruto had left.

 _I'll be gone all day. Won't be back 'til late._

 _-N._

Sasuke fingered the thin paper. So different from the notes his boyfriend used to leave him, occasionally tucked into his laptop case, the contents definitely things he wouldn't have wanted his co-workers to read.

His phone buzzed, but it wasn't from Naruto. It was from his boss. Today he would be meeting the team leader from the company that was partnering with his on a new project that Sasuke had been put in charge of. He hoped the person wasn't incompetent. The project was going to be enormous, and he didn't want to have to do someone else's job if they couldn't carry their own weight.

He looked at the e-mail his boss had sent him. He was supposed to meet someone named Hyuuga Neji in the office at nine o'clock. Sasuke glanced at the clock and headed to the bathroom to start getting ready. He had work to get done before the meeting, so he didn't want to waste any more time.

* * *

 _to be continued…_


	2. Stresses and careers

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa

 **Warning:** yaoi - a little groping but nothing spectacular. Alas.

 **Author's note** : If you have never snapped at someone because you were stressed out about life, you are too young to read this fic. LOL. **Un-Beta'd.**

* * *

 **Chapter 2 -** Stresses and careers

Sasuke was sitting at their kitchen table Sunday afternoon, his work laptop open in front of him. He looked over the circuit diagram carefully. The beta of the circuit board had not performed to specs, but the program that was supposed to be able to help spot flaws in the design hadn't come up with shit.

There were over five hundred elements to just the part that they knew was malfunctioning, and Sasuke had to find the ONE thing that was wrong. And he had to do it before his eight o'clock meeting with Neji's team the following morning or the project was going to be delayed.

He took a deep breath, trying to get his mind to focus. He was good at this. He could read circuit diagrams the way most people could read a postcard. He would find the flaw. He just needed to concentrate.

Naruto's phone started going off in the kitchen, the loud, annoying song had Sasuke cringing. He tried to ignore the sound and concentrate, but the fucking thing just kept _ringing_. He glanced over, but the kitchen was empty, meaning Naruto was either in the bedroom or the bathroom and had forgotten his phone. By the fifth ring, Sasuke couldn't take it anymore.

"Naruto! Get your damn phone!" Sasuke shouted, feeling his temper start to snap. He'd never missed a deadline before.

Never.

And this was currently the biggest project in the entire company. It was high profile and all eyes were on him. He would not fuck this up.

He started looking through the diagram again as Naruto finally picked up his phone. He clicked back to the other file to look at the diagnostic output, trying to piece together what could be causing it. He vaguely heard Naruto talking in the kitchen, but he didn't pay attention to the words.

He frowned as he looked at the overall circuit board design. He was pretty sure he was focusing on the right area. He opened the file that had the more granular data of the test output. He remembered seeing something that almost looked like the problem was probably somewhere in the -

"Hey!" Naruto's voice almost in his ear had Sasuke jerking his head up from his laptop screen. "You'll never guess what just happened!"

Sasuke sighed as he felt the idea that had started to form in his head slip away at the interruption. "Not now, Naruto. I have to trouble-shoot this design and send it off before the end of day today." He looked back to his screen, focusing again on the weird output that had just started to trigger some clue as to what the problem might be. He clicked back to the schematic and zoomed in to one part of the circuit diagram, his eyes following the symbols rapidly while his mind talked him through exactly what needed to happen at each stage. He was so _close_ to cracking this.

He didn't see Naruto's eyes dimming somewhat.

"No, but seriously, Sasuke, you won't believe this! Remember that wedding I worked last month at the huge mansion where I was telling you that the uncle was -"

"Naruto! I seriously need to focus right now. I have to finish this design tonight. You can tell me about whatever birthday party or wedding or whatever that you're going to shoot next some other time," Sasuke heard the bite in his tone and felt a little guilty, but he didn't have time to deal with anything right then. He turned back to his laptop, trying to re-focus on what he had been thinking about before Naruto had interrupted him.

Naruto stood there for a moment, perfectly still, then turned and left the room without another word. A few minutes later, Sasuke heard the front door slam.

"Shit," Sasuke sighed, glancing over at the door to the apartment, noticing that Naruto's jacket was gone from the coat rack. He scrubbed his hands over his eyes. He hadn't meant to be harsh, but sometimes Naruto just didn't see that he couldn't always drop things to talk like they used to. It was Sasuke's ass on the line with this project, and he had to make the deadline. It wasn't like college anymore, where if you got sick, you could take a makeup exam.

Itachi was completing his residency in one of the most prestigious research hospitals in Japan. He was sleeping less than Sasuke was, that's for damn sure. Sasuke could work just as hard.

He remembered the sound of Naruto slamming the door, and pushed the niggling guilt aside. He'd make it up to Naruto later. Hopefully he would be finished by dinner time and he'd order something Naruto liked. Once this phase of the project was over, things should calm down a little. He hoped.

He felt a headache building behind his eyes, which seemed to be happening a lot lately. He wasn't sure if it was lack of sleep or the amount of time he had to spend in front of his laptop. He forced himself to focus on the numbers and symbols swimming before him, his mind analyzing them each in turn, narrowing down the options for where the flaw could be.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was getting dark in the room when Sasuke finally found the problem. He checked it three times, entering in the changes to the diagram into the simulator program, then running it to make sure he hadn't missed anything that that computer would catch. When it all checked out, he leaned back in the wooden chair with a relieved sigh. His neck was cramped and the headache he'd felt coming on earlier was now full blown. He glanced over at the kitchen clock, surprised to see it was already well past dinner time. Which probably explained at least part of the headache.

The sun had set and only the light over the sink had been on, which explained the dimness of the room. He noticed that Naruto's jacket was still missing from the coat rack, and the scene from earlier that day flashed back in his mind. He grimaced slightly. Naruto must be really pissed if he were gone that long. He knew Naruto had been annoyed with the long hours he'd been pulling, but Sasuke was sure things would stabilize at work soon.

He picked up his phone, but there wasn't a message from his boyfriend. He called Naruto, wanting to ask if he'd already had dinner. Naruto's phone rang, then went to voicemail. Normally, Sasuke wouldn't bother to leave a message, assuming he'd just see Naruto in person soon, but something about the fact that Naruto had left without a word and still hadn't called unsettled him. He listened to Naruto's voicemail message, realizing he had changed it. It sounded much more professional now.

 _You've reached Uzumaki Naruto's cell phone and Uzumaki Photo. If you're calling to schedule an appointment, please leave your name and phone number, and the date and location of the event you are wanting the services for. I'll call you back as soon as possible._

Sasuke looked over at the clock as the beep sounded.

"Hey. It's about ten o'clock. About earlier... there was a problem with the design for the project I'm leading and I was just in the middle of trying to figure it out when you came in. I know you just wanted to talk." He drew a breath. It wasn't an apology, but it was pretty close. "I'm done now, though. I'm going to order dinner. We can order ramen if you haven't eaten yet." Sasuke hesitated, wishing Naruto had just picked up so he could tell how annoyed Naruto really was. "See you soon."

Sasuke hung up, looking at the phone. It was really no big deal that Naruto didn't answer. There were places in the city where he didn't get reception. Or he could be in a restaurant with the ringer off. It didn't necessarily mean that Naruto was still pissed.

Naruto usually checked his messages pretty frequently, so he expected to hear back from him soon. While he waited, Sasuke sent a note off to his team along with the updated design, then checked his phone again.

Still nothing.

He frowned slightly. He supposed Naruto could still be angry, though usually when Naruto was mad he was up in Sasuke's face about it, calling him an ass and telling him exactly how he'd fucked up. They'd fight about it, then usually have sex, then it was over.

Sasuke's legs shifted slightly wider apart at the thought. God, with work being so crazy, he wasn't even sure _how_ long it had been since they'd had sex. He closed his eyes, thinking back. It had been before this project started. How long had it been?

He checked his phone again, but still no message. He was sure it would be fine, though. Sasuke hadn't shouted at Naruto or anything. And he had clearly be in the middle of something when Naruto had walked in. Naruto didn't usually get that mad about this stuff. He was probably just somewhere he couldn't hear his phone.

Sasuke's stomach growled. He couldn't remember if he'd even eaten lunch, but given how hungry he was, he doubted it. Despite not having heard back from Naruto, Sasuke called his boyfriend's favorite ramen place. Even if Naruto had already eaten, he'd be up for ramen when he got back. Maybe they could watch a movie together. Or just go to bed early.

Sasuke put the news on to distract himself while he waited for the food to come and checked his calendar for the next day. If everything went smoothly in the meeting the next morning, he might be able to get off early. Maybe they could go out to dinner.

. . . . . . . . .

The doorbell rang and Sasuke got up, assuming correctly that it was the food delivery. He paid and tipped the delivery man, then took the cartons over to the kitchen table. He didn't need to check his phone to know that Naruto still hadn't called him back.

He looked at the clock again. It was getting late, and he had an early morning ahead of him. He sat down alone at the small table in the quiet of their clean kitchen and ate the ramen that he disliked straight from the carton. His eyes might have strayed towards the door a few times, but it remained steadfastly silent and closed. He lingered a bit in the kitchen as he got himself a glass of water, checking his phone messages even though he knew he would have heard it buzz if Naruto had replied.

The food he had ordered for Naruto was now cold.

Sasuke looked at it for a moment, then closed the container he'd eaten from and put the leftovers in the refrigerator.

With one last glance at his silent phone, he went and got ready for bed.

* * *

Naruto slammed the door of their apartment as he stalked out into the hallway, leaving Sasuke staring at his laptop.

Naruto was fuming. " _Fuck_ you, Sasuke," he cursed under his breath as he stalked to the elevator, stuffing his wallet, keys and phone into his jacket pockets.

Anger bubbled through him as he stood there, waiting for the elevator. He knew Sasuke was busy. Sasuke was _always_ busy. But he seriously couldn't spare three fucking minutes to talk? Sasuke had already been pissed just because Naruto's phone had gone off. His ringer hadn't even been that loud… Naruto hadn't been able to hear it from his bedroom and the door had been open. It was just because Sasuke had been sitting at the kitchen table and Naruto's phone had been on the counter. It felt like every little thing just annoyed Sasuke these days. Naruto would have been able to get past that, since Sasuke had always been more than a little up tight.

But that snide little comment about Naruto always working birthday parties? "Fuck you, fuck you, _fuck you!_ " Naruto hissed out angrily. He didn't need Sasuke making him feel like shit about his job.

The doors to the elevator opened, and Naruto saw a young couple inside, hastily stepping apart. The glistening, swollen lips of the young woman and the slight traces of lipstick on the man's mouth made it obvious what had been happening just before the doors opened.

Naruto stepped inside, moving to the other side of the elevator and looking steadfastly at the elevator doors, forcing himself not to think about what he and Sasuke used to do in that same elevator when they'd first moved in together. Abruptly, the anger that had been spinning inside of him shifted, and instead… he just felt tired.

Luckily, the ride down to the lobby was short and Naruto escaped the elevator with the overtly-in-love couple and walked briskly outside. He wandered aimlessly for a few minutes. He had been so excited when he got the call earlier. Things were finally happening for him in his career, and all he had wanted to do was to share the news with Sasuke. He didn't have parents or siblings to call. Sasuke had become the person Naruto looked the most to for validation. The one Naruto wanted to be excited for him… to feel like they were equal partners in their relationship.

He knew Sasuke was carrying more than his fair share of the finances between them at the moment, and it had been wearing on Naruto. They had both been working hard, and all Naruto needed was a lucky break. And finally one had happened. He had been so excited to see Sasuke's face when he told him the news.

 _Asshole._ He blew out a breath and unclenched his fists.

Sasuke didn't understand how it worked in Naruto's field. You don't just get out of school and show up at the front desk of _National Geographic_ and ask for a job. It took years of building a portfolio, making connections, and practicing your craft to get into the more serious publications. And then you still just had to get lucky. Naruto hadn't wanted Sasuke to feel guilty when he'd turned down the internship right out of college, so he had downplayed the opportunity that it had been. But he still had given it up for Sasuke, which made Sasuke's condescension rub all the more.

Sasuke didn't have to be such an ass about it. Just because Naruto's field took time to get started in didn't mean he planned on doing birthday parties the rest of his fucking life. But if Sasuke was going to just talk down to him like that, then he could go fuck himself. He'd had enough people in his life tell him he wasn't going to amount to much, and he didn't need to hear it from his boyfriend.

Naruto looked up and realized he was almost to his favorite coffee shop. He hadn't finished walking off his anger yet, so there was no point in going back to the stifling apartment. Sasuke would probably just be annoyed by any noise he made, anyway. Instead, Naruto went inside and ordered a hot chocolate. Caffeine made Naruto jumpy (and even more hyper), so he tried to avoid it unless he really needed to stay awake. Sasuke basically mainlined coffee these days, but Naruto had given up trying to get him to dial it back.

His mind went back to the call he'd just received and he felt some of the excitement building back inside him. The fact that Sasuke couldn't be bothered to hear about it didn't make the opportunity any less amazing. _Fuck him,_ Naruto thought as he picked up his phone and called his friend.

Kiba picked it up on the second ring.

" _Hi, 'ho. What's up?"_

Naruto couldn't help the grin that appeared on his face when he heard Kiba's voice. And the fact that he still used the same greeting for Naruto that he had since middle school.

"Bitch. Not your dick, that's for sure."

" _Psh. You just want a piece of this, don't you, Uzumaki?"_

"Yeah, right. Even if you turned gay, your ass would be safe from me, Mutt. How've things been?" Naruto chuckled. When Naruto had figured out that he was bi in high school, Kiba hadn't even blinked. He'd just told Naruto that he still expected him to play wingman for him, and he'd do the same as long as he didn't have to wear a pink thong to do it.

" _Meh… same old, same old. Still working at the clinic with Hana. It's getting colder, so we have more animal rescues coming in now_." Naruto could hear the happiness in Kiba's voice, and it made him smile. Kiba had just finished vet school this year and started work in the clinic that his older sister had opened when she'd finished a few years earlier.

"Cool. You must be working overtime, then." Naruto realized it had been over two months since he'd seen Kiba. They talked on the phone every once in a while, but it wasn't the same.

" _Yeah, but it's good. How about you? How's the freelance thing going?"_

"Actually... I had some really good news on that today. I think I just might have gotten my lucky break," Naruto felt his heart pick-up at the adrenaline that kicked in when he thought about it.

 _"_ _Really? That's AWESOME! Dude, you have to come over and tell me all about it. Does it involve porn?"_

Naruto laughed out loud, drawing a few slightly annoyed looks from the other patrons in the coffee shop, but he didn't care. This was what he'd needed. Someone who would be honestly excited for what had happened. He was suddenly enormously grateful that he had Kiba for a friend.

"No porn. At least… I don't think so. But it's still pretty good."

" _Pick up some booze and get your ass over here to celebrate. Unless… is the Bastard taking your out or something?_ " Kiba asked.

"Nah, he's working," Naruto said easily, glad he was on the phone so Kiba couldn't see his face. He was still upset about earlier, and he really didn't want to think about it.

" _On Sunday? Shit, man_ , _that sucks,_ " Kiba said with sympathy.

"Hmmmm," Naruto hummed noncommittally. He had felt sympathetic the first ten or twenty weekends that Sasuke worked. Now he just felt annoyed. "So… Fireball, then?" It was the first alcohol that either of them had ever had, sneaking it from Kiba's mom's cupboard when they were fourteen. They had gotten smashed, then sick, then grounded, but it had been a major milestone in both their young lives. A rite of passage into manhood.

"Hell, yeah! It's been forever since I got to hang out with you without your 'worse half'. I don't have to work until late afternoon tomorrow."

Naruto felt the same slight discomfort that he had always did whenever Kiba would take a subtle jab at Sasuke, but he ignored it. He had given up wishing the two would get along a while ago. They didn't hate each other anymore, but they would never be good friends. They were just too different. Naruto suppressed the tiny voice in his head that asked if maybe _he_ was too different from Sasuke as well.

"'Kay. Be there in a few." Naruto paid for his coffee, then walked back over to his apartment to get his car and pick up some Fireball.

* * *

"So, what's the big news?" Kiba asked, grabbing the bottle from Naruto and shoving him playfully onto the sofa before setting down two shot glasses.

Naruto grinned, rubbing the back of his head, his cheeks flushed slightly with excitement as he pulled off his jacket, tossing it into the chair next to the sofa, his phone forgotten, zipped inside his jacket pocket.

"So, a month or so ago I had this wedding shoot at some big-shot's mansion for his daughter. One of the things that the bride had asked me to do was to take candid shots of the wedding party and wedding guests from before the ceremony all the way through to the end of the reception."

Kiba nodded, his face mirroring Naruto's excitement even though he didn't know what was coming yet. Naruto felt himself warm somehow under the attention. Growing up shuttled from foster-home to foster-home had left Naruto somewhat attention starved, and he had missed having someone to really _talk_ to about things. How long had it been since Sasuke had focused on him like this?

"So I made them two albums of all the photos, one with the more formal, posed shots, and one with the candids. And…" Naruto felt his grin widen, his words coming more quickly in his rush of excitement. "... it turns out that someone on the groom's side is like… some big wig in a media company that has books, magazines, -"

"Porn?" Kiba asked jokingly, waggling his eyebrows and pouring them each a shot of Fireball.

Naruto punched him in the arm, laughing. " _No_ , you dick! _Anyway_ , this guy saw the candid photos and he said he really liked them. Something about way I captured the feel of the different people there, or whatever. He wants me to do a few shoots for one of his magazines, and see how it goes. I'm supposed to meet him for dinner tomorrow to talk about it. But, Kiba, he said he might put me _on staff_ if my work for him is as good as the wedding shoot! It would be like… more than triple what I'm making now."

"Holy shit! That's awesome! Congrats, man! Damn, what did Sasuke say when you told him?" Kiba asked, his face full of excitement for his friend. He lifted his glass, downing his shot. Naruto did the same, but slower.

"Well…" Naruto's excitement dropped a little. "He was working when I got the call. He, uh… didn't have time to talk about it."

Kiba's smile froze on his face for an instant. Then he exploded. "What?! He _didn't have time_? When he got his promotion, you threw him a huge party and invited his family down! What the fuck, man?"

Naruto sighed. "Yeah, well. He's working all the time now. It is what it is."

Kiba looked at his friend. They'd known each other since they were ten and he could tell that things were not ok. "Usually you'd be ranting and raving about Sasuke being busy all the time. You don't seem that… _angry_ about it like I thought you would."

Naruto shrugged, suddenly feeling tired. He'd fought for Sasuke's attention for a long time. Somehow… he just didn't feel like doing it anymore. His friends cared enough about him to acknowledge his successes without Naruto having to force it. If Sasuke didn't then at this point… he just didn't.

Seeming to sense the heaviness of Naruto's thoughts, Kiba poured them each another shot.

"Well, screw him," Kiba said firmly. "This is _awesome_ news, and we are going to celebrate. I'm calling over Shika and Shino. We're going to have our own party and celebrate this shit!"

Naruto couldn't help but laugh had his friend's determination. He felt a little bit of the melancholy he'd been floating in lift a little.

"Yeah. Let's do it," he grinned, his energy returning.

Kiba lifted his glass, and Naruto touched his to it.

. . . . . . . . .

"Dude, he really believed that you were storing some of your research in your fridge at home? What kind of moron is he?" Kiba was holding his stomach from laughing so hard at the stories Shino was telling them about his roommate problems in grad school. He was the only one of them that had continued on in school.

"But why would you tell him that in the first place. He already thinks you're crazy," Naruto chuckled, putting his hand over his glass when Kiba offered to pour him another shot. He had to drive back, so he needed to stop drinking now or he'd be in no shape to drive.

"Why? Because I was saving the caviar for when my cousin came. It is not my fault that my roommate was uninformed enough to think they were fly eggs," Shino said, his face completely serious. Which only made everyone else laugh more.

Naruto wiped his eyes. He was a little bit buzzed, but it was just so good to hang out with his friends and have fun.

"We should totally do this more often," Naruto said, leaning back, vaguely wondering what time it was, but not really caring. Sasuke was probably either still working or asleep, so it didn't really matter what time he got back.

As though reading his thoughts, Shikamaru asked. "Where's Sasuke, anyway?"

Naruto looked down at his glass, forcing his hand to relax from where it had clenched around it.

"Working," Naruto said flatly. Shikamaru raised his eyebrows and he glanced over at Kiba, who just tightened his lips before picking up his glass and taking another shot. Kiba slammed his glass down on the table, then slung his arm around Naruto's shoulders, a determined smile on his face.

"Yeah, we should definitely do this again. When you get your first photo published in one of this guy's magazines, we'll all go out and celebrate."

Shikamaru and Shino exchanged a glance, but readily agreed.

"So, you never told us the name of this guy that you're going to meet tomorrow," Shikamaru said, lounging back in the armchair.

Naruto shrugged. "Some guy named Jiraiya. I'm sure I met him at the wedding, but the name didn't ring a bell. I'll remember him when I see him, though." Naruto had a true photographer's eye and never forgot a face.

Shino coughed, choking on his drink. " _Sanin_ Jiraiya?"

Naruto looked at him, then nodded, curious about the reaction. "Yeah, why? You heard of him?"

"Yes. And Kiba has also heard of him. Why? He owns a publishing company now, but he started out writing porn," Shino stated calmly.

Shikamaru pulled out his phone, deciding to check out Jiraiya's company.

Kiba whooped. " _Yes!_ You're going to do porn shoots! Can I come? I could totally be your assistant. Help you position the models or whatever."

Naruto was looking slightly panicked, but Shikamaru was already shaking his head. "Eh… don't get your hopes up, Kiba. Jiraiya used to write porn a long time ago, but it looks like he used that money to start his own publishing company. He does a lot of…" Shikamaru paused, reading through the site. "... different stuff, actually. Lots of books on political figures, pop culture icons,... some magazines on world events, fitness, music,... his company is pretty big."

Naruto felt a wave of relief wash through him at the knowledge that he was not, in fact, applying for a job in a porn company. He turned to look at Shino. "So… how do you know so much about this guy?"

Shikamaru yawned, answering before Shino could. "The only person who watches more porn than Kiba is Shino."

Naruto snickered, then yawned. He grabbed Kiba's wrist to look at the brunette's watch, and was surprised to see it was almost two in the morning

"Shit. I should head home," Naruto stood up, stretching.

"You ok to drive?" Kiba asked, looking at him closely.

Naruto thought about it, trying to remember when he had stopped drinking. He didn't feel buzzed anymore.

"Yeah. I'm good. Thanks for this, man." Naruto's gaze met Kiba's, and there was no doubt the sincerity in Naruto's words. Naruto hadn't realized how much he really had needed to be with his friends. He hadn't been spending much time with them recently. But that would change.

Kiba stood and walked Naruto to the door.

"Call me when you get done with your meeting with the porn guy and let me know how it goes!"

"He's not a porn guy anymore!" Naruto laughed as he gave a half wave to his three friends and headed out to his car.

* * *

Naruto quietly opened the door to their apartment, already feeling some of his good mood slip away. He was sober, but the alcohol had made him tired. He went to the kitchen to get a glass of water, then walked into the bedroom to get some sweat pants to sleep in. Seeing Sasuke asleep in the bed made some of the resentment bubble back through him. He briefly considered grabbing his pillow and sleeping on the couch. He really wasn't in the mood to be anywhere near Sasuke right now.

He headed to the shower, deciding he'd make the call on where to sleep after he had finished washing up.

He was toweling off his hair from the shower when he finally remembered that he hadn't checked his phone all evening. Just in case he'd had any calls from potential clients, he pulled out his phone and checked his messages. He was surprised to see a missed call and voicemail from Sasuke.

Naruto opened the fridge to see if there was anything to eat while he listened to the message. He felt the edge of his anger fade as he saw the ramen cartons and heard Sasuke's attempt at an apology.

It didn't take away the underlying fact that Sasuke seemed to think Naruto's job was a waste of his abilities, but it was something. Naruto pulled out one of the cartons and heated it up. The noodles were bloated, but it still tasted good. And he knew it was Sasuke's way of offering an olive branch.

Naruto grabbed the pad of paper that was on the kitchen counter and wrote out a quick note. He knew Sasuke would have already left for work before Naruto got up in the morning.

 _Thanks for the ramen. I was at Kiba's and stayed late. I have work tomorrow so will be back late again. Glad you got your design fixed in time._

 _-N._

Naruto threw the empty carton in the garbage, then went and brushed his teeth. He walked in the bedroom, noticing that Sasuke had rolled slightly onto Naruto's side of the bed, his hand resting on Naruto's pillow.

Naruto gently took Sasuke's wrist and moved his hand off his pillow so he could slip into bed, though he ended up almost at the edge since Sasuke hadn't left him much space. He pulled the covers up turning to face the wall, and was asleep within minutes.

* * *

Sasuke woke up before his alarm. His forehead was resting against something smooth and warm, and he didn't have to open his eyes to know it was Naruto's back. He could smell the familiar scent of the body wash he used, along with the scent that was just Naruto. Still half asleep, he slid his arm around Naruto's waist, drawing his body closer, his morning wood suddenly the most awake part of his body.

Nuzzling against the back of Naruto's neck, he flexed his hips forward. With Naruto's back to him, Sasuke's shaft slid along the cleft of Naruto's ass, which was unfortunately still covered by his sweatpants. Sasuke bit back a groan at the feel, his cock now achingly hard. God, it had been way too long.

The silk of his boxers slid against Sasuke's erection as he slowly thrust again, one hand sliding down to grip Naruto's hip bone. Naruto mumbled something in his sleep, the sound of his lover's voice only making Sasuke's hips move faster. They used to wake up every morning this way, and Sasuke wondered suddenly when it had stopped. His hand was just slipping down the front of Naruto's sweatpants to help wake his boyfriend up when the low buzz of his alarm went off.

Sasuke stopped, his breath coming in pants, his fingers less than an inch from the base of Naruto's shaft. He was hard and horny and all he wanted to do was slide his hand lower and pump Naruto awake.

His alarm continued it's annoying, incessant buzzing. The volume was low enough that it didn't wake Naruto, but Sasuke couldn't ignore it.

With a frustrated groan, he withdrew his hand from Naruto's pants and rolled onto his back. He grabbed his alarm pushing the 'off' button with considerably more force than necessary. He lay there for a moment, looking at the ceiling, his cock aching. He could not be late for work today. He had a huge meeting first thing in the morning that he was leading in front of some of the most senior executives in the company.

He had to get up. He had to get going.

With a frustrated sigh, Sasuke got up and walked to the bathroom, his dick still annoyingly hard.

Sasuke was on his way out the door when he noticed Naruto's note on the kitchen table. He scanned its contents and sighed when he realized he wouldn't see Naruto that night, either, even if by some miracle he finished work early.

Neji had been saying they should take their two teams out for dinner to celebrate the project going so well. They hadn't had much time to until now, but maybe it would be a good thing. He had found Neji to be surprisingly competent, despite his initial annoyance at the man's arrogance. He supposed their teams did need a break.

* * *

 _to be continued..._


	3. Shifting bonds

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **Author's note** : Thanks to the readers who are sticking with this story! I had several people tell me they didn't like angst and wouldn't be able to continue reading, so I guess I know now why there are not many fics of this trope out there BUT I STILL WANT TO WRITE THIS so… yeah. I'm writing it. YAY! I love angst with happy endings. A lot. LOL. This chapter was too long and so it is split into two parts. Next part will be up in a few days (it is already written and I just need to proof it) and **will have an 18+ rating.** Thanks to Tandy_Hard for reading this over for me! *hugs*

* * *

 **Chapter 3 -** **Shifting bonds**

Sasuke scanned through a report that outlined the production requirements for the new prototype, frowning slightly in concentration. A cup of deliciously fragrant coffee was placed in front of him. He looked up as Neji leaned against his desk, a smirk on the long-haired man's face.

"You look like you could use a break," Neji said, glancing at Sasuke's screen, his eyes moving over the schematic with practiced familiarity.

"Thanks," Sasuke took the coffee gratefully, watching as the pale-eyed man took a sip of his own. Neji made the best coffee, from his own personal stash of expensive, freshly ground beans.

They both drank it strong and black.

"We have a meeting scheduled with operations tomorrow to discuss the modified design and do a cost analysis," Neji said.

"I've already laid out the differences between the new design and the last prototype that they spec'd out. The changes aren't that significant, so the meeting should be relatively short," Sasuke handed a printout of the analysis he'd done to Neji, who opened it and flipped through. "But there are a few things I noticed that would be good to get the team's input on."

Neji nodded and turned to the door, still reading through the document. Sasuke followed Neji out, not comparing the perfect lines of Neji's two thousand dollar suit with Sasuke's less expensive one. Sasuke had gotten over the fact that Neji came from a wealthy family after the first couple of weeks working together. Even if the Hyuuga had been born with the proverbial silver spoon in his mouth, it was clear from early on in their working relationship that Neji was more than willing to pull his weight. He was also smart as hell.

Neji was a few years older than Sasuke, and he had at first tried to use his seniority to establish himself the sole leader of their combined team. Sasuke had quickly disabused him of any such notion, more than proving his own worth as being at least up to Neji's level - if not beyond - despite having less experience.

A wary, mutual admiration had slowly developed between them. Sasuke knew that if he had been paired with anyone else on this project, it would not have succeeded to the extent it currently was. Working with Neji - while initially annoying - was rapidly accelerating Sasuke's career and he couldn't deny the amount he was learning from his co-team lead.

"This is excellent," Neji murmured, then glanced up to look at Sasuke, approval showing in his pale eyes. "I should have known you would already have thought through this. I must admit I'm not used to working with someone this competent."

For the Hyuuga, 'competent' meant 'spectacular'. Sasuke had been working with the stoic man long enough to have learned that.

"Hn," Sasuke had a slight curve of his lips as they walked into the team room where both teams were stationed during the joint project. Karin, Suigetsu and Juugo were seated on one side of the large table while Lee and Hanabi were on the other. The walls were covered with post-it notes, circuit diagrams, and design spec print-outs. They all looked up when Sasuke and Neji walked into the room.

"Ah, welcome Slave Driver A and Slave Driver B. Here to inform us of another night we'll be working late?" Suigetsu quipped, though he didn't look overly annoyed. The entire team had gotten a lot of praise with the way the project was going. Their careers were all on the fast track now, and they knew it was due to the two men who had just walked in together.

"Actually, we were going to invite you all to a team dinner tonight," Neji said smoothly while Sasuke shot Suigetsu a glare.

"Company pays?" Karin asked, her eyes hopeful.

"Company pays," Sasuke confirmed, causing Suigetsu and Karin to grin.

"Yes!" Lee exclaimed loudly. "A reward for all our hard work!"

Sasuke had thought Suigetsu was loud before he met Lee. Lee had recalibrated him. But the man had endless drive, and his good rapport with the equally enthusiastic head of the beta-testing group made him an invaluable asset to the team.

"Hn," Sasuke replied. Neji gave Sasuke a slightly amused look. Sasuke had the feeling Neji had secretly delighted in having Lee work closely with Sasuke when their teams had first joined together just to see how Sasuke would handle him. Of course, Sasuke had retaliated by suggesting Suigetsu partner up with Neji for 'additional mentorship'. Sasuke was pretty sure he had won in that trade.

"Yes. You've earned it. Before we go, we need to finish up the plan for the prototype. We have a meeting with the team from manufacturing tomorrow," Neji stated.

Hanabi and Juugo perked up at that, since they were the team experts on production streamlining.

Suigetsu's phone buzzed, and Neji looked over at him, raising an eyebrow.

Suigetsu ignored Neji's look and sent a quick text back to whomever had pinged him.

"Sasuke has already laid out the main changes in the new design that will have the biggest impact on production," Neji began, but Suigetsu's phone buzzed again. This time Neji sent him a glare.

"What?" Suigetsu said defensively. "Sasuke's phone goes off all the time."

"Yeah, but with Sasuke, it's all work-related. Not setting up the night's booty call," Karin smirked, but there was a clear annoyance in her expression.

"Just because no one else on this team seems to have a life outside of work doesn't mean I don't." Suigetsu texted back to whomever had sent him the message.

"The faster we get through these production requirements, the faster we can go to dinner," Neji said. "I've already turned my phone off, and I want everyone else's phone off as well until the meeting is over. If there is a real emergency, business or otherwise, Sasuke's assistant or mine know where we are and will get us."

Neji watched as Karin, Suigetsu, and Juugo pulled out their phones and (at least in Suigetsu's case) reluctantly turned them off.

"Aren't you guys turning yours off?" Karin asked as she looked over at the other two in the room who hadn't moved when Neji had spoken.

Hanabi chuckled, glancing at Lee. "We didn't even bother bringing ours. Neji always makes us turn them off when we're in the team room."

Sasuke sighed, then pulled out his phone and turned it off as well. He supposed it wasn't a bad policy, but he had gotten used to being in basically constant contact with the other teams involved. Hadn't Naruto been telling him he had it on too much, anyway? He supposed it was worth a try. Neji was viewed as highly productive, so the fact that he turned his phone off every once in awhile obviously hadn't slowed down his career any.

Sasuke went to hook his laptop up to the projector but the cable was missing. "Fuck."

"Let's just take the one from the room next door," Neji said, stepping out of the room to do exactly that.

Hanabi turned to where Suigetsu was still looking slightly annoyed about having to turn his phone off. "Neji is really a great team leader. He might have strict rules about how we work, but we're the top team in our company."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes. "We're the top team in our company, too. It doesn't mean we have to give up having a life. As long as we get our work done, he doesn't need to be such a dictator about this shit."

Hanabi frowned slightly, clearly unhappy that Suigetsu was badmouthing Neji, even though she understood the reason. "Look, you don't know him. Neji's father died when he was younger and his uncle took him in but puts a lot of pressure on him to excel. He knows he's always second in his family's view, riding along on their coattails. He's just trying to prove himself," Hanabi said, glancing toward the door to make sure Neji wasn't in hearing shot.

Suigetsu's eyebrows rose, and Sasuke wasn't sure if the man was surprised by the story or the fact that the woman had shared something so personal about Neji with the group. This was exactly the reason Sasuke never discussed his personal life at work. It was really no one's business.

Though it didn't show on his face, Sasuke _was_ actually a bit surprised to hear Neji's back story. He had always assumed that the man's arrogance was rooted in his family's fortune as well as his own capabilities. It was… odd… to think that Neji might be feeling some of the same family pressures as Sasuke. That Neji was driven by the same things, chasing the same goal in a way.

His thoughts were interrupted as Neji returned to the room, handing Sasuke the cable so he could project his laptop screen for the group to work on the final design specs.

"Here is the updated design and the prior prototype specs," Sasuke brought the relevant screen up "I highlighted a few of the performance specs where we are not really that ahead of what's already in the market. We need to see if we can improve those without blowing the cost to build it."

Lee frowned, looking slightly confused. "I thought that the specs were already approved. Did the new design not meet the targets?"

"No. It met the targets, but it's always better if we can exceed them where possible if the cost implications aren't major," Sasuke stated.

"Sasuke spends all his waking moments thinking about work, so he assumes we all want to as well," Suigetsu explained with an eye roll to Lee when he saw the other's confused face.

"You're just jealous because you started working here three years before him and now Sasuke is your boss," Karin scolded.

Suigetsu scoffed. "Why would I be jealous of that? He might make thirty percent more than me, but my life is a hundred percent better. I have an actual life outside of work and I happen get _laid_ once in awhile. I'll take that trade-off any day."

Sasuke didn't respond as he heard Karin snap at Suigetsu for his comment. She tended to get especially irritated when Suigetsu talked about his overly-active sex life, so the exchange was nothing new. Though usually Suigetsu kept _Sasuke_ out of it. Sasuke knew that Suigetsu was just talking shit, but… something about what he said _did_ bother Sasuke a little.

Neji's voice was calm but a little cold when he spoke. "Someone has to lead if the business is going to succeed. You'd all be out of a job if everyone just sat back and waited for someone else to step up. Sasuke is right… we could take a few hours now and see if there is a way to stretch the design a bit and it could make a huge difference of how long the product stays relevant in-market. The more successful this company is, the more secure our jobs are."

Sasuke looked over to find Neji looking at him, but there was no expression in the other man's face.

"God, you two should just go ahead and get married already," Suigetsu mumbled, flipping through the materials Sasuke had given them. "You're _exactly_ alike. Fuck," he paused on a page midway through the printout Sasuke had brought in, looking at it for a moment. "We could probably do some adjustments to this part if we wanted to improve the last three specs."

Sasuke walked over to see what Suigetsu was talking about. As annoying and blunt as the man could sometimes be, he was good at what he did. It was the only reason Sasuke tolerated him on the team.

* * *

Naruto began to get nervous when his GPS navigator on his phone had started directing him down streets with houses that were almost as large as the entire apartment building that he and Sasuke lived in.

When he saw the matching address written on a stone arch in front of a massive, gated driveway, he had to force himself to not hyperventilate. He snapped a photo of the gate to Kiba and sent him a simple text:

 _Holy shit._

Naruto pulled up and pressed the buzzer on the post by the gate.

" _Please state your name,"_ an official-sounding voice came from the speaker.

"Um, hi. This is Uzumaki Naruto for a six o'clock appointment with Sanin Jiraiya."

" _Drive in_."

The gates slowly began to open. Naruto glanced down as Kiba texted him back.

 _You got this, bruh. Money doesn't mean shit. Remember, HE called YOU_

Naruto nodded, even though his friend couldn't see as he slowly pulled up the long, curved driveway. He saw security cameras out front, so he decided not to take anymore photos of the place. He'd just have to tell Kiba about it later. He wondered if Sasuke had ever been in a place like this before, or what he would make of it.

Naruto parked his car and got out, not bothering to lock it, since it was really sort of a piece of crap and anyone looking to steal something _here_ would definitely not bother with his car or pretty much anything else he owned.

He walked up and rang the doorbell.

A few moments later, the large door swung open and Naruto couldn't help the way his eyes widened as he saw a tall man with a long mane of white hair. He had remembered the guy from the wedding party. It was hard to forget a man who had been always trying to look down any hot chick's dress whenever they got close. Naruto had had to constantly check his shots since he was pretty sure the bride wouldn't want any of _those_ moments preserved for perpetuity in her wedding album.

"Hey, kid. Glad you could make it. Come on in." The older man stepped back and gestured for Naruto to follow him inside.

Naruto looked around the opulent foyer, feeling definitely out of place. "Thanks. It was great talking to you the other day." Naruto hoped his voice didn't sound as nervous as he felt.

The mountain of a man laughed, clapping his hand on Naruto's shoulder then leading them into a spacious sitting room. He motioned for Naruto to sit down on a red velvet sofa that looked like it might have come from the Playboy mansion. Naruto tried not to stare at the large oil painting of a nude blond woman with enormous breasts that hung over the mantel in the room.

"Don't get too excited about the job yet. I still need to see what you've got in terms of skills. Weddings are small time. If you want to do serious photography, it's going to be a hell of a lot more work." Jiraiya sat across from him on a matching sofa.

Naruto met the man's gaze steadily. It was surprisingly astute, and Naruto got the sense that there was a lot more to Jiraiya than the image he put out as a horny old pervert. "I'm not afraid of hard work. You said you were willing to give me a shot based on what you saw of my work." Naruto handed him the portfolio that he had put together. Most of it was weddings and birthday parties, but he had taken some others of buildings and landscapes just to round out his portfolio. "I'm still building my skills, but I'm not a total novice, either."

"Hmm," Jiraiya flipped through the book. His eyebrows went up at some of the pictures, and Naruto hoped that was a good sign. "This isn't the same as doing local events, kid. The project I have in mind as a trial for you will involve a good bit of travel. Honestly, so will pretty much all of the work if you end up joining my organization. You got a girlfriend that's going to make you regret signing up for this?"

Naruto was pretty sure Jiraiya wasn't supposed to ask him about his relationship status in a job interview, but given what Naruto had seen of the man so far between having a business interview under a nude painting and ogling women's breasts at a wedding, he figured the guy didn't really feel the need to obey the rules much.

Naruto decided he would be equally direct.

"Girlfriend, no. Boyfriend, yes. But he won't have a problem with me traveling." Naruto kept his face and voice neutral, hoping that the older man wouldn't probe further into his personal life. Naruto would learn later how utterly ridiculous of a hope that was.

"Boyfriend! Huh. Usually I have pretty good gaydar. You must be bi, then," the white-haired man said.

"Yeah." Naruto was somewhat relieved that Jiraiya seemed to have no problem with his orientation. He wouldn't hide his sexuality or his relationship with Sasuke, but he wasn't so naive as to think everyone would be ok with it.

"Well, it's good you're open to different sexual orientations. Some of the work you'll be doing will involve men, and some women, so it's always good if the sight of cleavage doesn't send you running away." Jiraiya seemed to be studying Naruto for a moment. "So… this boyfriend of yours. Is it serious?"

Naruto hesitated. It used to be serious. Was it still? "I guess."

"Mm-hmm. So is he just really supportive of your career, or is there trouble in paradise? You seem pretty ready to take on a major lifestyle change without much discussion."

Naruto couldn't decide if the guy was just eccentric or if he was being an ass. "How is this relevant to the job?"

Jiraiya laughed. "You've got attitude. That's good. It's _relevant_ , kid, because if I am going to invest time training you and taking you on as a new photographer, I want to be sure you're not going to quit in a few months because of personal shit. I don't consider taking people on very often. Only when someone's work really catches my eye."

Naruto considered how to respond. He had spent the morning researching Jiraiya's company, and had come to the conclusion that he _really_ wanted this job. The breadth of topics and genres that Jiraiya's media company covered was exactly what Naruto had wanted back when he used to dream about where he wanted to work someday. He might have had to slow down in chasing those dreams for a while, but he had never given up on them. Now it was finally happening.

And it was clear that there was no point on trying to get a job with reasonable hours to spend time with Sasuke. He wouldn't make the same mistake a second time.

So, despite the annoyingly personal nature of the question, Naruto answered it as honestly as he could. "Sasuke has a really demanding job. I don't think he would be mad just because my job was demanding as well. He works late most nights, so we already don't see each other much as it is. Honestly, I think he'd be glad if my career picked up a bit to match his. He's… very focused on his career goals"

Jiraiya looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. "Is he in photography, too?"

Naruto chuckled at the idea. "No way. Engineering."

Jiraiya smiled. "Ah, I know the science-type. She's in medical research," Jiraiya nodded towards the naked blonde woman over the mantel. "Thought I was wasting my time in my career, too."

Naruto tried very hard not to look at the painting now that he knew it was actually a real person. He had a strong feeling that the woman would not like everyone staring at her tits if she was working in the medical profession and not in the porn industry. He wondered if she knew about the painting. He was betting on _not_ , given the fact that the man in front of him was still breathing.

"You don't seem very happy talking about your relationship. You two have a big fight or something?" Jiraiya probed again. Naruto knew that most people would be hugely annoyed and offended at the line of questioning, but Naruto got the vibe that the man honestly was interested in him and his life. Maybe it was just his need for attention rearing its head again, but somehow, the questions didn't bother him.

"Not a big fight. More like… an ongoing war of attrition," Naruto smiled tiredly. Jiraiya's eyes were full of understanding, and Naruto somehow had the sense that the older man knew exactly what Naruto meant.

"Well, you're still very young. Sometimes a little time apart can help," Jiraiya handed Naruto a piece of paper that had a list of addresses in various cities around Japan. "This is the trial project I had in mind for you. I already have a good sense of what you can do with people. Now I want to see what you can do without them. We're doing a feature on traditional Japanese architects. This is a list of buildings done by a young, up-and-coming architect. We want photos of all his buildings for the next issue. I'll warn you, though, he's very particular and he's hated every set of photos we've shown him of his works so far. Let's see if you've got what it takes."

Naruto looked at the list of addresses, and the name of the architect. Shodou Sai. It wasn't a name that he recognized, but since Naruto had never really studied architecture, it wasn't a surprise.

"When do you need these completed by?"

Jiraiya shrugged. "The issue featuring his work was supposed to go out last month, but Sai blocked it because he wasn't happy with the photos. We want it as soon as you can get it done. But it has to be done _right_."

Naruto nodded, already thinking about how to coordinate the travel to the different cities, and wondering what the weather forecast was like this week. If it was foggy or raining, there wouldn't be much he could do. But it was a challenge, and Naruto was excited to finally have a project that would push him.

"Assuming I have decent weather, I'll take a first set of the buildings this week and then you can run them past Sai and see how he likes them."

Jiraiya stood, signaling an end to the interview. "Get to it, then. I'll see you in a week. You'll be paid for this project whether we use the photos or not. Here's the standard rate."

Jiraiya handed Naruto a sheet of paper. Naruto's eyes widened as he read what he was going to be paid for the series of shoots. Jiraiya grinned at him, clearly having expected that reaction.

"Keep all your receipts, and I'll pay for your expenses. At least the ones that are related to the project. You buy a night with a hooker, that's on you."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Pervert."

The older man grinned, but didn't bother to deny it.

* * *

Naruto jogged down the long steps from Jiraiya's front door to his car, excitement pumping through him. He pulled out his phone and called Kiba before he'd even sat down in his car. Kiba picked up on the first ring.

" _How did it go?"_ Kiba asked excitedly. " _Did he offer you the job?"_

Naruto closed the car door and buckled his seatbelt, grinning. "Well, he said he liked my stuff, but I have to do a trial project for him first. Some picky architect keeps rejecting all the photos of his buildings that they want to feature in one of his magazines. So he's giving me a crack at it! I'll have to travel to a few different cities this week, but he's going to cover my expenses."

" _Dude, that's awesome! We gotta celebrate."_

"Kiba…" Naruto laughed, but he felt rush of happiness at his friend's words. "... We just celebrated last night. I have to actually _do_ the project first. What if the architect hates my stuff?"

" _Not gonna happen. You're awesome. All your teachers in college thought you were amazing. You just got stuck in a rut here. This is your big break! We have to celebrate it. It's like… best bro's law or something."_

Naruto considered it for a moment. He _would_ be out of town for pretty much the rest of the week and probably the weekend, too. Why not hang out with Kiba before he goes? He'd felt better than he had in months after spending time with his friends the other night. This would be good for him. And even if it didn't work out in the end, it was still cool that Jiraiya had picked him for the trial. After all, the man had said he doesn't give many people a shot at something like this.

"Ok, cool. Where should I meet you?"

 _"_ _Let's go to a club. I'll pick you up at your place so you don't have to drive. You're going to be in no shape to drive tonight after I'm done with you tonight!"_

Naruto laughed. It had been a really long time since he'd gone out to a club. "Ok. Let me just call Sasuke and see if he can come. I'll meet you there either way."

" _You better not bail on me, dude."_

"No worries about that. I'll be back home in about an hour, unless traffic sucks."

They hung up and Naruto started the car, quickly calling Sasuke. He knew it was unlikely that his boyfriend would be able to get out early to hang out with them, but he hoped Sasuke would at least meet him there when he finished work. Naruto had wanted to tell Sasuke face-to-face about the possible job offer, but he knew that Sasuke wouldn't bother to come if it seemed like just a random night out in the middle of the work-week, so he'd have to tell him at least some of it on the phone.

Naruto was surprised when Sasuke's phone went directly to voicemail. Sasuke _never_ turned his phone off. It was actually something they used to fight about all the time, back when Sasuke was actually home.

After he got promoted to team leader, Sasuke's office had given him a BlackBerry. At first, Naruto had thought it was great because Sasuke would be able to do more work from home. But he quickly realized that what it _really_ meant was that now Sasuke couldn't escape work wherever they were. And because the company was global and the projects he worked on were large, it seemed like that fucking thing was always buzzing at any time of day. They'd had a huge blow-out one time when they'd gone out to dinner and Sasuke had spent the entire time dealing with emails from work.

Sasuke had said that it was just an emergency that had come up, but it didn't change the fact that one of the few nights that they'd tried to spend together had ended up with Naruto basically watching Sasuke work.

Naruto disconnected, then tried again, his call going directly to voicemail a second time. He supposed Sasuke's battery could have died, though even that would be odd given that he had a charger for the damn thing in his office, car, and their bedroom.

He decided to leave a message anyway, assuming Sasuke would check it soon given his obsession with the damn device. But just in case the phone had died, Naruto also left a message on their home phone so at least Sasuke would hear it when he got back.

"Hey, Sasuke. Kiba's taking me out to celebrate a new commission I just got. It's kind of a big deal, and I'll be gone most of the week on it. I'll text you which club we're at. Would be great if you could swing by after you're done at work. If not, I'll just see you when I get home, but it might be late."

Naruto pulled out into the evening traffic. He wouldn't hope to hard that Sasuke would show up early enough to actually spend time with them there. They'd fought about this kind of thing so many times over the past year, and Naruto wasn't going to ruin his good mood by getting mad again about the same old shit. If Sasuke didn't care enough to make an effort to spend any time with him, Naruto was done with trying to force it.

A year ago, Naruto would have been a lot more upset about something this big happening in his life and not being able to talk with Sasuke about it. But now, even though he was still excited about what Sasuke would say, it didn't feel like his whole world revolved around it like it used to. Kiba, Shikamaru, and Shino had been happy for him.

Maybe that was enough. Naruto knew that he had chased Sasuke too hard and put too much weight on what Sasuke's opinions of things were. Maybe now it was all just catching up with him.

Naruto mentally shrugged. Either way, he was looking forward to having fun tonight. It had been a long time since he'd really been excited about something that was happening in his life, and he was going to enjoy it for once.

With or without Sasuke.

* * *

 _to be continued…_

 **A/N:** I will update the second part of the chapter in a few days after I finish proofing it. And NO, Naruto isn't going to break up with Sasuke over a missed call. He left it in 2 places, so I don't want this to seem like a cliffie of 'will Sasuke get the message' LOL. I just needed to split the chapter due to length. This break-up will NOT be over a misunderstanding when it finally happens, which I think is probably clear but I will just state here for the record. LOL.


	4. One last time

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa

 **Warning: Chapter edited to comply with FF's ToS (un-edited version on AO3 dot org).** Use of alcohol. Language. REMEMBER WHAT TROPE THIS IS PEOPLE and don't yell at me. Long-term relationships are really complex. There is a lot that is emotionally invested even when things start to fall apart.

 **Author's note** : ALL OF YOU WHO ARE STILL READING THIS ROCK! LOL. My fellow angst lovers. *snuggles you all* I know a few of my readers have mentioned that they have studied psychology. You are going to have a FIELD DAY with this chapter. Thanks again to Tandy_Hard for reading this over!

* * *

 **Chapter 4 - One last time**

Naruto laughed as he picked up the shot that Kiba placed in front of him. Kiba had been buying him rounds for the past couple of hours, and Naruto knew he was well past buzzed. Sasuke hadn't shown up, but Naruto decided not to care as he threw back the drink, feeling the burn as it went down his throat, the room spinning hazily. He'd been having fun with Kiba, where they'd been sitting at the bar, watching the dancers but mostly just soaking up the energy of the club and trading stories about all the stupid shit they used to do back in school. Kiba had only asked about Sasuke once, then they had both avoided the subject and Naruto had finally stopped thinking about it at all.

It had been a really long time since he'd cut loose, and having Kiba buying him shots to celebrate his successful interview was exactly what he needed. Kiba understood him… knew what he needed. Looking over at his friend weaving on the barstool next to him, Naruto snickered. It was clear that neither was in any kind of shape to drive home. They'd have to call a cab.

"Dude," Kiba slurred, leaning forward to tell Naruto something in confidence, but speaking so loud that people four stools down could hear him. "I gotta take a piss. Then we should probably head out, or Hana will have my ass tomorrow. I have the morning shift. I don't wanna get too wasted."

Naruto laughed drunkenly. "Kiba… you _idiot_. You are the worst designated driver _ever_. You're _already_ shit-faced and she's gonna totally ream you for coming in hung-over. We coulda just done this on the weekend, you dumbass."

"No way, man," Kiba stood, having the slightly out-of-focus-but-still-dead-serious look that only someone truly hammered can pull off. "You're my best friend. A major break like this only happens once or twice in a _lifetime_. There's no way I'm not gonna celebrate with you. Screw work."

It was probably the alcohol, but somehow the statement had Naruto's throat feeling tight.

"Thanks, man," Naruto managed, putting his hand on Kiba's shoulder.

Kiba nodded very seriously. Then proceeded to spoil the moment. "Now I really gotta take a piss."

Naruto laughed again as Kiba turned and stumbled off to the men's room. Naruto leaned back on the bar, looking out over the dance floor. It wasn't very crowded given that it was a Monday night, but it wasn't as empty as Naruto would have expected, either. He wondered if all these people were unemployed, or students, or what.

 _They definitely don't work for Sasuke_ , he thought hazily, a slight bitter edge sneaking in and spoiling some of his buzz. He ran a hand through his hair as though to push the thought away, watching the dancers while he waited for Kiba to return.

His eyes were drawn to a man who was dancing with a girl and two other guys. They looked to be about Naruto's age, give or take a year or two. At first, Naruto didn't really focus much on what he was looking at, but slowly, he started to realize that… the guy was... _hot._ He was wearing a tight black T-shirt and equally tight black jeans. His brown hair fell over part of his face, but it was the way he moved that had Naruto suddenly watching with complete attention. The man's movements were subtle and fluid, slim hips swiveling in a serpentine manner to the pulsing base of the music.

There was a confidence in the man's movements and expression that drew more than a few sets of eyes to him. Naruto felt his blood heat slowly at he watched. The man lifted his head, and Naruto was suddenly trapped by a pair of golden brown eyes, looking directly at him.

Realizing he had been caught basically ogling some stranger, Naruto abruptly turned back to the bar, embarrassed.

 _It's just the alcohol,_ Naruto assured himself. _I'm drunk and I haven't been laid in forever and it's just a natural reaction. It doesn't mean anything._

He finished his drink and hoped Kiba hurried the hell up in the bathroom. He needed to get out of there. He didn't know why he felt so panicked about the fact that he'd found the guy attractive... it wasn't like he would ever _do_ anything about it. It was natural to just notice someone who radiated sex appeal.

All of that logic was good in theory, but the reality was that - even when Naruto had noticed other people's attractiveness in the past - he hadn't felt personally _attracted_ to anyone other than his boyfriend since he had started dating Sasuke more than five years ago. The fact that, somehow, that had changed unsettled him but his mind was too muddled with drink for him to figure out why.

"Hey," a deep, unfamiliar voice said from just behind him.

Naruto turned, already having a sinking feeling of who it would be. Sure enough, the attractive brunette from the dance floor stood casually behind him, a small smirk on his face. Naruto realized with a somewhat sickening feeling that the guy was even hotter up close.

"I saw you watching me," the man's voice was smooth and confident.

Naruto laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head, suddenly feeling the dizziness of all the shots he'd taken that evening hit his system like a freight train. He wished he could get his head clear.

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that. I had a big day and I'm a little wasted. I guess I was sort of spacing off watching the crowd."

The guy moved closer, leaning against the bar in Kiba's vacant spot, his eyes looking Naruto over with frank approval. "Hm. You know… I can tell the difference between someone who's spacing out and someone who's checking me out."

The guy was close enough that Naruto could smell the subtle cologne he wore, and wondered what the fuck was taking Kiba so long. Naruto wanted to leave. Now. He needed to go home to his own apartment, with his own boyfriend, in his own bed. He was too drunk to be sitting alone in a bar. Even if it was a straight bar. He hadn't expected the guy to approach him, and realized he must have been _really_ staring.

"Look, I'm sorry if I was sending out the wrong signal. I'm seeing someone, so…" Naruto began, but the man cut him off.

"That guy who was sitting with you most of the night? Please. He's straight as they come." An unfamiliar hand brushed against Naruto's wrist and he jerked his hand back as though it had been burned.

"Hah, yeah. Kiba's straight. But I _am_ seeing someone else. I'm just here celebrating with my friend. I'm not interested in anything else here."

The guy leaned closer, his hand resting against Naruto's forearm, as though slowly trying to get Naruto to accept physical contact, like taming a skittish horse and bringing it to heel. "Really? Because that's not what it looked like to me. And if you're celebrating something, why isn't your boyfriend with you? I think that maybe… "

"I said I'm not interested!" Naruto abruptly stood, stumbling slightly. He was feeling far angrier at himself than at the guy, because the truth was he _was_ attracted to the man, and he didn't want to be. Wouldn't let himself be. That wasn't who he was. Screw Kiba and his bottomless bladder, Naruto was leaving.

Just then a strong, familiar arm slid around firmly Naruto's waist. "Naruto. Sorry I'm late. I didn't get your message until I got back to our apartment. I had my phone off earlier and I forgot to turn it back on. Is this guy bothering you?" There was no mistaking the hard, possessive tone in the deep voice that came from behind him.

 _Sasuke._ Naruto breathed out in relief, despite the slight annoyance that Sasuke hadn't shown up until now. In that moment, Naruto just needed to get his head together. _Sasuke_ was the one Naruto was attracted to. Not anyone else. Definitely not some random guy in a bar that he didn't even know.

"Hey. I didn't think you'd make it," Naruto ignored the way his words sounded slightly slurred to his ears as he turned towards Sasuke. Nothing mattered right now except proving to himself that Sasuke was the only one he wanted. He shut out the man still standing next to them as he pulled Sasuke down into an open-mouthed kiss. He felt Sasuke stiffen in surprise, or possibly discomfort at gay PDA in a straight bar. Naruto didn't care as he leaned in more, pushing his tongue in Sasuke's mouth, needing to feel his boyfriend respond. Needing to feel _something._

After a brief hesitation, Sasuke started kissing him back and Naruto groaned in relief that Sasuke was actually _responding_. It had been so long since he'd felt this heady kind of rush. And tonight, somehow, he needed it. The lust he'd been trying to repress from early in the evening spilled out, flooding his senses. Only this time, Naruto could allow himself to act on it. He curled his fingers into Sasuke's jacket, pulling him closer and focusing only on the feel of Sasuke's body pressed against his. The familiar heat and scent of it.

Naruto closed his eyes, shutting out all thoughts about the resentment he'd been swimming in for the past endless months, not thinking about his disappointment that Sasuke had arrived so late, or that he didn't seem to give two shits about anything outside of his job anymore.

Naruto kissed Sasuke more desperately. Right now, he was going to pretend that he'd never even seen the guy on the dance floor. Sasuke was here, and Sasuke was kissing him and for just tonight that was all Naruto was going to think about.

* * *

Sasuke got home and noticed the voice message light flashing on their answering machine. He pressed play, surprised when it was from Naruto. He pulled out his phone, cursing when he saw that it was still turned off.

"Shit." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He could have left the dinner earlier if he had known Naruto was waiting for him, but his boyfriend had told him he would be late, so Sasuke had figured he might as well put his 'team-building time' in rather than just hang out in their empty apartment.

He was tired, but he was definitely going to go to the club to at least pick Naruto up. He was curious to know what sort of project Naruto was working on. He assumed it wasn't just another wedding or kid's birthday party, given the excitement in Naruto's voice, and Sasuke felt his lips curve slightly into an indulgent smile.

It had been a long time since he'd heard his boyfriend sound that excited about work. He felt some of the resentment he harbored about Naruto's freelance work fade a little. While Sasuke might have believed that Naruto could have achieved more, at least Naruto was excited about it again. And if it made Naruto happy, then Sasuke would be happy for him. Even if Naruto didn't end up making that much money, Sasuke would probably get promoted again at the end of this project. He would make enough for the both of them.

Sasuke felt a twinge of guilt that Kiba had been the one to take Naruto out to celebrate whatever the piece of work was, but he knew he'd make it up to Naruto the next time. He looked at the clock, cursing. The team dinner had gone late and it was already hours since Naruto had left his message. He hoped Naruto wouldn't already have left before he got there. Naruto had already been pissed off at him the other day when he had likely gotten the call about this project in the first place and Sasuke had blown him off.

Suigetsu's jabs that he had no life outside of work rang in his ears. He didn't know why he kept replaying them. It was just another flip comment from the guy who never had control over his mouth in the first place. _Fuck Suigetsu. What does he know?_

Sasuke set his bag down next to the shoe rack and headed to the bathroom, taking off his shirt as he went. He turned on the shower then went to grab a pair of jeans and a deep red, button-down shirt from his closet. Luckily, it was still in the bag from the cleaners and didn't need to be ironed. He was late enough as it was, and he didn't want to be any later. He took a five minute shower, then dressed quickly and headed out to the club to meet his boyfriend and find out what his news was.

* * *

He walked into the club, scanning the tables by the bar and expecting to see Naruto and Kiba sitting together. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw no sign of Kiba, and instead some man he'd never seen before was standing way too close to Naruto. Sasuke walked forward, narrowing his eyes as he took in the way the man was looking at his boyfriend with clearly more than general friendliness on his mind. A flood of anger coursed through him at the sight. Who the fuck did that guy think he was? And where the hell was Kiba?

Abruptly, Naruto stood, staggering slightly, and Sasuke could hear Naruto telling the guy off even over the loud music even though he was still a few paces away.

"I said I'm not interested!" Naruto's voice was angry as he stood facing the other man, and Sasuke felt a surge of satisfaction at Naruto's firm refusal of the man's advances.

By then he had reached the two of them, and he decided to make it very clear that the blond was taken. He glared at the man, sliding an arm around Naruto's waist and tugging him back against him. "Naruto. Sorry I'm late. I didn't get your message until I got back to our apartment. Is this guy bothering you?"

The man looked at him, his eyes widening as Sasuke only intensified his glare. He could smell the alcohol on Naruto and it was clear the guy had been trying to take advantage of someone too wasted to know what they were doing. Luckily, even drunk, Naruto wasn't a cheater.

" _Hey_. I didn't think you'd make it," Naruto turned, and Sasuke's nose wrinkled slightly at the amount of alcohol on his breath. How much had Naruto had to drink? Sasuke was feeling a little annoyed about it but Naruto had pulled him down and was kissing him with a level of intensity that took Sasuke momentarily aback. It had been a long time since Naruto had kissed him like that.

Sasuke could feel the man's eyes on them, and he decided it was the perfect time to stake his claim. He angled his head slightly to the side, deepening the kiss. Naruto's tongue slid against his and the blond let out a low sound that Sasuke hadn't heard in far too long. His dick responded to the sound like its name had been called, rising to attention in his black jeans.

He felt Naruto grip his jacket, pulling him closer, all signs of anger from the previous day vanished from the hazy blue eyes that were now drifting closed. Maybe Suigetsu had been right… Sasuke suddenly realized that it had been way too long since he'd had sex. Naruto clearly seemed to agree by the way he was suddenly pressing Sasuke up against the bar. Things hadn't been like this between them since before they had started constantly fighting about Sasuke's job. Naruto thrust his tongue deeper into Sasuke's mouth, and the kiss had a desperate air that reminded Sasuke of back when they'd first started dating and they couldn't keep their hands off each other. They'd regularly end up fucking in the stalls of the clubs they'd go to, unable to wait the short walk back to the dorms.

It had been a long time since either of them had been in the habit of carrying condoms and lube in their pocket, however, so that was not an option right now.

Naruto's lips slid down Sasuke's throat to suck harshly at the base of his neck. The heat and scent of Naruto's body triggered a cascading set of sensory memories, and suddenly all the months of stress and no time for sex left Sasuke gasping at the intensity of the need that pounded through him. His cock had gone from slightly aroused to ready to fuck in an instant. He spread his legs a bit wider, sliding his hands down over the curve of Naruto's ass and pulled him closer, desperate for more contact.

The sound of a throat being cleared brought Sasuke back to awareness of their very public location. Sasuke looked up, a glare on his face as he expected to see the same guy who had been hitting on Naruto still standing around.

Evidently they had been kissing for longer than he'd realized, because the guy was nowhere in sight. Instead, Kiba was standing there, looking slightly alarmed about the level of animosity in the glare Sasuke had sent his way. He lifted his hands in supplication, not wanting to deal with a pissed off, fully sober Uchiha.

"Hey, Sasuke. Sorry, man. I didn't mean to get him so wasted. We were just celebrating," Kiba said nervously, pulling out his wallet and signaling the bartender that they were ready to pay. "I was going to call him a cab."

"Hn," Sasuke acknowledged Kiba's slightly frantic apology, but he couldn't really focus on it. Naruto's erection was pressed against his own and he could feel Naruto's teeth tugging slightly at his earlobe in that spot that Naruto always went for when he wanted Sasuke to lose his mind while they were fucking. Right now, all he wanted to do was get them the nearest bed. "I'll take him home."

Kiba nodded, looking slightly relieved even through the alcohol haze. Sasuke had chewed him out in the past for taking Naruto drinking and getting him wasted, but it seemed that right now, Sasuke was too distracted to be pissed. Kiba turned to Naruto, who was still pressed against Sasuke, possibly not even aware the night was ending.

"Call me and let me know how the shoot goes," Kiba said to Naruto, clapping him on his back. "And congrats, man."

Naruto lifted his head from Sasuke's neck and looked hazily over his shoulder at his friend. "Thanks, Kibs," Naruto grinned, and the sight of it had Sasuke sliding his hands down to the small of Naruto's back to pull their bodies together harshly, desire pounding through him. Sasuke reached over and grabbed Naruto's jacket, steering him out the door and to his car. As soon as the car doors closed, Sasuke grabbed Naruto's shirt and pulled him half out of his seat, kissing him hard.

"Let's get you to bed, Dobe," Sasuke's voice was rough with arousal. Unfortunately, they weren't students anymore. If they got caught having sex in the back of his car it wouldn't be the campus police that chewed them out, it would be real cops and they'd end up in real jail. He wasn't going to take that risk.

Sasuke put the car in gear and pulled out onto the street. It was getting late, so traffic had thinned.

"You said you got a new project today?" Sasuke asked, trying to keep his mind on driving and not his intoxicated, horny boyfriend in the seat next to him.

"Yeah!" Naruto said, his voice filled with excitement. "It's going to be taking photos of a bunch of buildings, some new architect who's super picky about what they look like. If it works out, I could end up doing a lot more work like that."

Sasuke didn't know much about Naruto's job, but that _did_ sound more interesting than kids' birthday parties. He glanced over, seeing his boyfriend's face flushed with alcohol and excitement. He wished they were home so he could see Naruto's eyes better… they were always so full of whatever emotion he was feeling at the time. Why could he not remember Naruto's eyes recently?

The thought snagged at his consciousness, but Naruto was talking again and Sasuke let the thought slip.

"The guy was totally crazy, though. He was asking me all kinds of personal shit," Naruto leaned over a kissed Sasuke's neck. One hand slid up along Sasuke's inner thigh, and the pale hands clenched around the steering wheel. Sasuke drew a deep breath and fought the urge to grab Naruto's hand and put it where he really wanted it.

As though reading his thoughts, Naruto's hand slid between Sasuke's thighs, cupping his erection, and it was all Sasuke could do to keep the car on the road. He wasn't even sure if Naruto was still talking to him or not, but all he could think about was the heat of Naruto's hands on his body and keeping the car from crashing. Sasuke briefly considered finding a dark spot in an empty parking lot and going for it, but the small amount of blood left in his brain reminded him of the myriad of reasons why that was a very bad idea.

Naruto's lips brushed against his neck, and the tan fingers slid down to cup Sasuke's balls through his jeans. Sasuke spread his legs wider, his hips flexing up into the touch. It seemed to take them forever to finally get to their apartment. Sasuke slammed the car into park and practically dragged Naruto from the car.

He could hear Naruto snicker at his obvious desperation, but he really didn't give a fuck right then. It was all Naruto's fault he was in this condition in the first place. They stumbled into the elevator, and Sasuke had Naruto up against the metal wall before the doors even closed.

" _Ahn,_ Bastard!" Naruto's hands were fisted into Sasuke's hair, their bodies moving feverishly against each other. Sasuke was breathing hard, his body clenched with lust by the time the elevator chimed, letting them off on their floor.

They stumbled down the hall, their mouths moving fiercely over each other, Sasuke's hand viced around Naruto's lower back while Naruto's hands fisted into Sasuke's red shirt.

Sasuke backed Naruto up against their apartment door, pressing their bodies tightly together while he fumbled with his keys to the apartment. Naruto was sucking on his neck and grinding their hips together and Sasuke's hand was shaking when he tried to get the key in the lock.

" _Fuck_!" Sasuke suddenly remembered why he and Naruto never used to lock their dorm rooms back in college.

He managed to get the door unlocked on his sixth try, and they both stumbled through the doorway into their apartment. Sasuke wondered if it were somehow possible to get intoxicated just on the alcohol from Naruto's breath, because he felt so completely out of control.

He looked down into Naruto's face, seeing the blue eyes, glazed with lust looking back at him. How long had it been since Naruto had looked at him like that, with no shadow of the resentment he so often saw in his boyfriend's gaze? Naruto was looking at him the way he used to.

Sasuke didn't even realize how much he had missed it, or remember when it had all changed.

"Oh, shit, Naruto!" He groaned when he felt Naruto's hands on the zipper of his pants.

Naruto jerked down Sasuke's zipper.

"God, Sasuke. Fuck me," Naruto murmured as the other hand tangled into Sasuke's hair, dragging him into a fierce kiss.

" _Nngggghhhh, shit_ , yes!" Sasuke was moving them towards the bedroom, half supporting Naruto as the blond stumbled again, uncoordinated from drink.

Sasuke kept one hand around Naruto's waist, pressing their bodies together as he walked them to the bed, shoving Naruto down on the red sheets before climbing over him.

Naruto's eyes drifted closed and his hands gripped Sasuke's hips, pulling him down and grinding their hips together. Naruto arched up, groaning, his cheeks flushed, his lips slightly swollen and glistening.

Sasuke's fingers worked feverishly over Naruto's dress shirt, unbuttoning it and jerking it open then tugging it down, baring Naruto's torso fully to his view.

He wished Naruto would open his eyes and look at him, but Naruto seemed already lost in a haze of lust. Or possibly dizzy from the alcohol. Sasuke let his mouth move down Naruto's throat and over his collarbone before closing over a tan nipple. Naruto's hands tightened into Sasuke's hair and he writhed beneath the touch.

Sasuke chuckled. "Mmmm, I should get you drunk more often," Sasuke murmured against the smooth, tan skin, remembering the games they used to play. "You'd let me do anything to you right now, won't you?"

"Oh, god, Sasuke," Naruto's hips twisted beneath Sasuke's. "Hurry up."

Sasuke hummed against Naruto's skin, his lips trailing down further as he unfastened Naruto's pants and shoved them down. Naruto was too far gone to even realize it would go faster if he lifted his hips to help the process, but Sasuke didn't care.

"Shit, Naruto," Sasuke panted. Had it really been that long? "I don't know how much longer I can wait."

"Just fuck me," Naruto latched onto Sasuke's hips, drawing him down. "You're finally fucking _home_ , so hurry up and _fuck me_."

Sasuke was too hazed in lust to hear the bitter note in Naruto's voice

Sasuke couldn't tear his gaze from Naruto. The way Naruto moved with him, could take any pace Sasuke set. Naruto was made for him.

Sasuke felt his body tighten and heard Naruto groan something that sounded like his name, and felt the unbearably pleasurable heat tighten around him as Naruto came.

Sasuke's arms were shaking as he caught his breath, his pulse still pounding through him. Naruto's body went slack, the combination of two orgasms and too many shots putting him to sleep.

Sasuke looked down at his sleeping boyfriend, his mind filled with the warm haze of afterglow.

He brushed a gentle kiss over Naruto's brow before slipping out of bed and going to the bathroom to wash himself off then come back and clean Naruto up. He felt better than he'd felt in a long time.

* * *

 _to be continued…_


	5. Divergence

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa

 **Warning:** Angst. Inappropriate co-workers. Sasuke continuing to not see the freight train that's about to hit him.

 **Author's note** : Yay, my fellow angst-lovers! This chapter is up much sooner than I had expected. I am... a little obsessed with this story right now. LOL Thank you again to the wonderful Tandy_Hard for reading this through for me and giving me advice. *snuggles her*

* * *

 **Chapter 5 - Divergence**

Naruto woke up, the ache in his head and his body reminding him forcibly of the night before. He wasn't sure what time it was, but by the amount of light streaming in through the bedroom window, it had to be mid-morning. The silence in the apartment told him he was alone.

He wasn't surprised. Of course, Sasuke would have had to go to work on a Tuesday.

Naruto closed his eyes, not wanting to face the reality of what he was feeling. In the first year of college, before he and Sasuke had started dating, Naruto hadn't been a stranger to the party scene. He hadn't gone crazy or anything, but he'd definitely woken up in beds that weren't his own a few times.

It shook him to realize that he felt exactly the same as he lay in the bed he'd shared with Sasuke. Last night they'd had amazing sex.

But that was all it had been.

He hadn't felt the connection that he'd always felt with Sasuke in the past. The thing that made Naruto's mind and body focused only on his boyfriend, like nothing else mattered. Whether it was over-the-top anger or over-the-top love, emotion had always ruled their interactions, especially in bed. Ever since their very first time together, it had been as though Sasuke had erased all of Naruto's past lovers from his mind. From that point on, it had only been Sasuke for him. Naruto hadn't been able to imagine ever wanting anyone else.

Until last night.

Guilt assailed him at the memory of the attraction he had felt for the other man at the club. And when Sasuke had shown up… Naruto had simply directed that lust towards the one he could have.

He had basically used Sasuke for sex. Naruto might have been drunk, but it didn't make it any less true. The only thing that kept him from feeling even worse about it was that he was pretty sure Sasuke had used him right back.

Although… maybe that didn't make him feel better after all. Had Sasuke responded because Naruto had been so aggressive? Or had Sasuke responded only because he had seen someone else hitting on Naruto?

Naruto breathed out a humorless laugh. It was all so fucked up.

He slid his hand down over his stomach, slightly surprised to feel it smooth and clean. Evidently Sasuke had cleaned them both up after they'd had sex the night before. Naruto closed his eyes, a small smile forcing its way to the surface at the unexpected thoughtfulness. It had been a while since Sasuke had bothered with doing something like that.

The memories that the thought resurrected made Naruto ache. Things used to be so different between them. Back when they used to be friends as well as lovers. Back when they used to talk instead of argue or just ignore each other.

Well, they had _always_ argued. Naruto gave a crooked grin. It was something they both had enjoyed. The verbal sparring. The brutal honesty. Naruto was never willing to kiss Sasuke's ass no matter how many other people did, and Sasuke would never stoop to lying about something to make it look better than what it was. It was part of what had brought them together, strangely enough. It was what made them able to trust each other, when neither boy trusted very easily.

They used to talk about things that they'd never talked about with anyone else. Things in their past. Hopes and fears about their future. But all of that had gone, now. They barely talked anymore, and when they did it was only about bills to be paid or work to be done. Last night they had talked a little about Naruto's job offer and Sasuke had seemed generally happy for him but… not really all that interested.

And that was the crux of it, right there.

Naruto could yell at Sasuke for not spending time with him, but after months of doing exactly that, he realized that he couldn't _make_ Sasuke be interested enough in Naruto's life to do so.

Naruto drew a slow breath. He'd been avoiding thinking about this for months now. He hadn't really wanted to face the reality of what their relationship had become, but nothing was really changing. The words had all been said long ago. Naruto was out of words now. It was time to decide what he was going to do about it.

Maybe people had been right when Naruto and Sasuke had started dating years ago. Maybe they really just were too different. At the time, Naruto had felt like he and Sasuke balanced each other out, and that their differences were part of what drew them to each other. That they filled in each other's gaps. But maybe… he had been wrong.

This wasn't working.

Naruto didn't want to turn into a person who checked out people other than his boyfriend at a club. He didn't want to turn into someone who felt frustrated and resentful all the time, bitter and unfulfilled with his own life. That wasn't who he was.

Naruto slowly sat up, grimacing as he felt Sasuke's cum leaking out of his ass. He remembered when it used to turn him on to know that Sasuke had been so carried away that he hadn't been able to wait to get a condom on. Now it just felt… annoying.

He grabbed the sheets off the bed, stuffing them in the washer before heading to the shower. He'd already booked himself on the afternoon Shinkansen train to Osaka, where two of the buildings on Jiraiya's list were. The weather for the evening and the following morning was predicted to be perfect, so he was hopeful about getting some decent shots.

He showered mechanically, his mind thinking about how he had ended up in that place. He pulled on his favorite jeans. They rode a little low, but were worn and comfortable. He sat on the bed he had shared with Sasuke for the past three years. The water dripped from his hair, trailing over his bare, toned shoulders. He shivered slightly, but didn't bother to dry his hair further with the towel that lay on the floor by his bare feet.

His lips twitched slightly at what Sasuke would have said if he saw the damp towel on the floor. Naruto used to enjoy pushing Sasuke's buttons just for the pleasure of watching the temper flare in the black eyes. Temper that would quickly morph to lust so many times. But those days had long ended. Now he seemed to irritate Sasuke without even trying.

Naruto sighed, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands.

He had always known that Sasuke was a driven person. He probably should have known that this would eventually happen once they had graduated and were out in the 'real world'. College was a place where everyone was more or less equal. They were all students, having basically the same 'job' and living in the same circumstances. Sure, Sasuke had taken more courses and harder courses than most, but it hadn't really mattered that they were studying totally different things. They still got to spend most of their time together, hanging out with mostly the same people.

After graduation, it had really become evident how different their career choices were. Sasuke's had a clear, linear path to his goal. Naruto's would involve a lot more of a slow build and not a small amount of luck. That in-and-of-itself wasn't a problem. But it was the relative weight that success in their jobs carried in their lives. Naruto's career was important to him. He had talent and he wanted to succeed. But if being 'the best' in his field was all he had in his life, he knew it wouldn't be enough. Growing up alone had shown him the misery of living without a family, without bonds. He knew he didn't want that for his life. He didn't want to have to _choose_ between his career and a relationship. He had always planned to find a way to have both.

But a relationship took two people.

Sasuke had become focused exclusively on his career. Unlike Naruto, Sasuke seemed to be satisfied with his success, without needing anyone else to share it with him. Except maybe for Itachi, but certainly not Naruto. At least, not anymore. If anything, Naruto just felt like he was in the way of Sasuke's goals now. An annoyance that distracted him from what he really cared about.

They just… didn't want the same things out of life.

The clarity of that though struck Naruto like a physical blow to the gut. This wasn't just about a few arguments or lack of time. This was fundamentally about them choosing different paths. Paths that were diverging.

Naruto looked down and saw his hands were shaking. He stood and walked over to pull down the suitcase he would use for the week. He took out the clothes he would need, giving his hands something to do by folding them before setting them inside the small bag. Part of him wished he were packing it for good. At least then the decision would be made.

A shadow of doubt flickered through him that maybe the things he had wanted out of a relationship just weren't possible. Naruto had never really thought about soul mates before, but he had connected with Sasuke on a level he hadn't thought possible given his past. He had really thought it would last.

But somehow it still ended up not being enough.

He knew he carried baggage from his fucked up childhood. Maybe he just… was too screwed up to find what he needed in a relationship. Maybe he would always be the one who 'loved more', who 'needed more'.

Naruto zipped the suitcase shut.

Constantly chasing after Sasuke's attention and never winning it would rip him to shreds. He couldn't keep doing it.

He still loved Sasuke. Honestly, he didn't even blame Sasuke for the way things had happened. Sasuke was working hard to prove himself to his family… and to himself. This was something Sasuke needed to do, and Naruto had known it early on in their relationship. If Naruto thought Sasuke really needed him anymore, still cared about him the way he used to, Naruto would try to find a way to stay… to make what they had together enough. It wasn't in Naruto's nature to just give up.

But if Sasuke really didn't need him and Naruto was only holding him back, then what was the point? Naruto wouldn't drag Sasuke down just to be able to claim he 'never gave up' on their relationship. If neither of them was getting what they needed from each other anymore, then… then Naruto would be man enough to end it and walk away before they ended up truly hating each other. Maybe eventually they could find their way back to being friends. Naruto hoped so, but knew it would take time.

He didn't really know how to talk to Sasuke about it. After all, words were just words. And he and Sasuke had thrown truckloads of words at each other and nothing had changed. Actions were really all Naruto could go by, but it was hard when it had all just been a slow erosion rather than one horrible act of betrayal.

How do you tell when a relationship is really over, when the love that had been so all-consuming had finally faded away?

Naruto checked his camera equipment, making sure he had all the lenses he'd need and his tripod case.

He would be gone for most of the week. It would give him time to think about what to do.

He pulled on his jacket, then picked up his suitcase and his camera bag and headed to the train station.

* * *

Sasuke stretched as he sat as his desk. His body felt like it was still riding the high from the endorphins of the night before. He found his thoughts drifting back to the sight of Naruto dead asleep in their bed that morning, and a slight smile made its way onto his lips. He hadn't gotten much sleep, but somehow he felt more energized than he had in months. He had expected Naruto to have been annoyed with him for showing up so late. Maybe Naruto had finally adjusted to their life post-college. He hadn't been fighting with him as much recently about the late nights and worked weekends.

And last night had been…

Sasuke looked up as the door to his office opened. Suigetsu walked in, his eyes widening as he took in the expression on Sasuke's face.

"Holy, shit! I didn't even know that you could actually smile," Suigetsu's eyes fixed on the unexpected sight of a small but clearly visible smile on his boss' face.

"What do you need, Suigetsu?" Sasuke asked, forcing his mind back on business, his face back in its expressionless mask.

Suigetsu eyed him for a moment suspiciously. "You look… _happy_." The pale-haired man stepped back out Sasuke's door, looking over at the nameplate to the right of the door frame as though double-checking the number on the office. "I know this is Uchiha Sasuke's office, but you can't be him. My asshole of a boss is never _happy._ "

Sasuke rolled his eyes. He _was_ in a pretty good mood but it didn't mean Suigetsu had to make a big deal about it. His gaze happened to pass over the clock on his wall, and his eyes widened fractionally.

"Fuck," Sasuke breathed out a curse.

According to the clock, he was already five minutes late to their team meeting. Sasuke was _never_ late, which is probably why Suigetsu had come looking for him. He felt his face heat slightly at the realization that he'd been daydreaming about his boyfriend and lost track of time.

He grabbed his laptop and shoved it in his bag. "Let's go. Neji's probably waiting."

"Yeah. Why do you think I'm looking for you in your office, asshole?"

Ignoring him, Sasuke slung his bag over his shoulder and headed down to the team room where the rest of the group was already assembled, Suigetsu following behind him. He slid his satchel off his shoulder and set it on the table. The strap of the bag pulled Sasuke's shirt slightly, tugging the collar down enough that the darkened skin at the base of his throat was visible.

"Oh, my god, you have a hickey!" Suigetsu crowed, tugging the collar of Sasuke's shirt further to reveal the large, dark mark. "Sasuke got _laid_! Holy fucking shit!"

Sasuke stepped back sharply, giving the main a hard glare. "Fuck off, Suigetsu. We have other things to discuss today."

Suigetsu pulled his hands back, but didn't drop the subject. "Damn, that hickey is huge! Whatever chick you banged must have been some piece of ass. Was it that waitress that was drooling all over you last night? The way you glared at her I didn't think you were interested."

"I wasn't," Sasuke said tersely, fixing his collar. Usually he would have been annoyed at Naruto for leaving a mark that could be seen at work, but given the state Naruto had been in last night, Sasuke hadn't minded. In fact, he remembered quite actively enjoying it at the time.

Unfortunately, he now had to deal with the consequences. He never discussed his relationship status at work. Or really anything else about his personal life. He felt no desire to change that now.

Suigetsu kept going, though, ignoring the freezing look that Sasuke had on his face. "So if it wasn't the waitress… who did you even end up hooking up with?" Suigetsu glanced over at Karin.

Karin shot Suigetsu a glare that promised a long, slow death in the very near future. "Don't even go there, pig," she hissed. It was no secret that Karin had had a pretty major crush on her boss when she had first been assigned to Sasuke's team, but she didn't need Neji's team finding out about that. She had long ago learned that Sasuke was definitely not interested, and now they had a good working relationship. She wanted to keep it that way.

"What?" Suigetsu rounded on her. "I have a right to be curious. We've worked with the guy for almost two years and he's never even _looked_ at any of the girls who've thrown themselves at him. This morning he walks in here still practically _high_ from the afterglow and you expect me to not ask him about it?"

Karin rolled her eyes.

Sasuke answered. "Actually, yes. Now shut up."

He looked over to see Neji watching the exchange, the pale eyes unreadable.

"Agreed," Neji said. "Not everyone chooses to discuss their relationships at work."

Suigetsu rolled his eyes. "Who said anything about a relationship? Sasuke is at work too much to be in anything serious. I just want to know who he hooked up with. Up until today I thought he was basically asexual since he never even glanced at a girl. I just wanted to see what type of chick finally got his attention."

Neji looked at Sasuke thoughtfully. Sasuke didn't really care if people knew he was gay, but he didn't want to discuss _any_ relationship outside of work.

"Houzuki. You're being annoying," Sasuke walked past Suigetsu and sat down at the table. "Shut the fuck up. We have work to do."

Neji turned the projector on, bringing up the first set of schematics and putting an end to Suigetsu's attempt to extract any more information. "Alright. Now, we need to get the final design specs approved and sent to production."

Sasuke glanced over, catching Neji's eyes on him briefly before they turned back to look at the screen.

And with that, the focus was back on work.

* * *

Naruto set up his tripod on the sidewalk across the street from the first building on the list he'd been given. Jiraiya had e-mailed him the article that the photos were supposed to accompany and it gave a little background on each of the buildings he was going to be photographing, along with why the architect was considered to be so successful.

He looked up at the sky, checking the angle of the sun. The light would be better in about half an hour, but he could get some initial shots in now. Naruto squatted down, looking through his camera bag for the lens he wanted to use. He needed his largest aperture lens to play the most with the depth of field. He'd try a few really shallow shots to make the center of focus pop, then a few with more depth to see what worked best.

"What are you doing?"

Naruto nearly dropped the expensive lens he was holding at the sound of the inflectionless voice from directly behind him. He'd had to work about thirty birthday parties to pay for that lens, and he sent a glare over his shoulder at whoever had startled the shit out of him. He opened his mouth to tell the guy off, but froze as - for just an instant - he'd thought the guy was Sasuke. But of course, it wasn't. Their coloring was similar, but the man looked maybe a year or two older and had a slimmer build.

Naruto stood and gave a friendly smile despite the lack of one in return. "I'm just photographing some buildings," he said easily.

The man arched a brow, his face still oddly expressionless. "You're a fan of architecture?"

Naruto began attaching the lens to the camera. The light wouldn't wait, and he had to get ready if he was going to get the shots he wanted. "Nah. Evidently the architect is a bit of a _prima donna_ and didn't like any of the photos that some other guys took of his buildings so he made the publishing company re-do them. They hired me to come and take some new ones."

The man watched him silently, and Naruto wondered if the guy was checking him out or just really socially inept. When Naruto began attaching the camera to the tripod, the stranger finally spoke.

"So you think you can do a better job than the others? You look like you're not even out of college."

Naruto bristled slightly. _Yeah, definitely socially inept._ Naruto had always been told he looked young for his age, and it was a bit of a sore spot for him.

"Look, if you don't mind, I need to get set up before I lose the light," Naruto let a bit of an edge creep into his voice, hoping the guy would take a hint.

"I don't mind," the man said calmly, leaning against the wall to watch Naruto work. Evidently, the hint had not been received.

Naruto sighed and tried to ignore him as he took a few practice shots, checking the angles and the background. He adjusted the aperture and took a few more, engrossing himself in his work.

"I think it would look better if you took it from the other side of the street."

Naruto's head snapped up to see the man looking over his shoulder. "What the fuck! Dude, you have some personal space issues. Seriously. Just… go back and stand over by your wall or something if you have to watch."

The man cocked his head to the side, but didn't move. "I just wanted to give you some advice. I think the angle from the other side would be better. You'd get a better view of the main entrance."

Naruto bit back a growl of frustration. " _No_ , it wouldn't be better." He bent his head back down to the camera, adjusting the shutter speed.

"I really think it would. I am very familiar with the building," the man persisted.

Naruto's jaw clenched. It was really too bad he couldn't afford to replace his tripod, because he really would have loved to swing it at the annoying spectator. _Who liked to stand around and watch other people take photographs, anyway?!_ But given that the man didn't appear to be leaving, Naruto stood and stared him down. He was an inch or two taller than the pale man, and he hoped it would help to get the guy to back off.

"First of all, the light is coming from the other side, and the shadows are covering the entrance right now. I don't need a better view of a shadow. Besides that, the whole point of this particular building that people are talking about is how it fits into the traditional architecture of the city, but adds more modern elements. I need the line of the street with the other buildings in the background to show that. Especially the one right next to it and the one across the street. Those have the most interesting lines and I want to bring the edges of them in to frame the other building. Now, will you please go away and let me do my job?"

"Hm," the man said, obviously not fazed by Naruto's show of temper, and looking instead at the image on the LCD display of Naruto's camera of the most recent photo he took. "I suppose I can see your point. All the others took my advice, though."

Naruto paused in his movements, his brain rapidly processing the implications of who this man might be. "What is your name?"

"Sai. The 'prima donna architect' that didn't like any of the other photos and is making Jiraiya re-do them. Nice to meet you, Uzumaki Naruto." Without disturbing any of the settings, the man looked through the images Naruto had already taken. "These are… quite acceptable."

Despite the level of annoyance Naruto had been feeling towards the man, he grinned.

* * *

Sasuke's stomach growled as he was slicing the tomatoes. Dinner was going to be so fucking late. He glanced over to Itachi who was setting the rice cooker going, grateful that his older brother had made no further comment about the tardiness of the meal. Naruto was usually the one who reminded Sasuke when Itachi was coming up for his monthly visit, but Naruto still wasn't back from his trip. Sasuke had gotten an annoyed text from his brother that he had arrived at their apartment but no one was there. Luckily, Itachi at least had his own key, but given that he had driven three hours from the city he had worked to see Sasuke, he wasn't pleased to arrive to an empty apartment.

Since it was a Friday, Sasuke had been able to leave work immediately and quickly came back to find his brother already setting out ingredients that he had scavenged in the fridge for them to cook. It was a ritual that they cooked these meals together, and the fact that Sasuke had missed lunch wasn't going to get in the way of it. The two brothers fell into an easy, familiar rhythm of cooking. Both their parents had worked growing up, so the brothers had had to learn how to cook early on.

Despite the familiarity of cooking with his brother, Sasuke found it oddly quiet. He realized that it was usually Naruto who would be asking Itachi about his work, then sharing things from Sasuke and his jobs or friends… anything newsworthy that had come up since the last time they'd spoken. Naruto was also the only one who would ask about their parents, given Sasuke's strained relationship with them. Fugaku and Mikoto kept in regular touch with Itachi, but rarely called their younger son.

Sasuke leaned back against the counter as he added the last ingredient to the wok, the aroma of ginger and teriyaki filling the small kitchen.

"You said Naruto was out of town until tomorrow?" Itachi asked, pouring himself a glass of wine as they waited for the food to cook.

"Hn. He had a new commission to photograph some buildings. He headed up to Osaka Tuesday afternoon." Sasuke stirred the chicken and vegetables in the pan, checking to see if they were cooked through.

Itachi arched a brow. "That doesn't sound like his usual type of freelance work."

Sasuke was slightly surprised that Itachi paid that much attention Naruto's line of work. Of course, Naruto usually talked about it when Itachi would come over but Sasuke hadn't expected his brother to remember much about it. "Hn. Naruto mentioned that this was a different sort of commission. He seemed really excited about it." Sasuke's face softened slightly at the memory of Naruto's face when he'd told him, though he was unaware of it as he transferred the stir fry to a large bowl.

Itachi noticed, and did his best not to smile in return as he set the rice on the table. Naruto was the only one who had ever gotten his brother to open up. It was something Itachi would be eternally grateful to Naruto for. "Is the work for an architecture firm, or a media company?"

Sasuke paused as he sat down at the table across from Itachi. Had Naruto mentioned who the commission had been for? Sasuke had been… distracted when they had discussed it. "I'm not sure. I don't think he mentioned it."

Itachi frowned as he served himself some rice, then ladled the stir fry on top. "Didn't you _ask_?"

"We discussed it. Kiba had taken him out to celebrate, and he wasn't in much shape to be very articulate about it by the time I talked to him," Sasuke replied, dishing himself.

Itachi levelled a look at Sasuke that reminded him of when he had been caught telling a girl off in a particularly brutal fashion when she had had the nerve to follow him home from middle school. Itachi had pulled Sasuke aside and informed him that - whether or not he returned the affections of someone - there was no call to call to verbally eviscerate someone that way. Sasuke may or may not have taken the lesson to heart, but he certainly remembered the look in Itachi's face as he'd watched the girl run sobbing down their driveway presumably back to her own home.

Sasuke refrained from shifting under the hard gaze of Itachi. He was no longer a little boy under his elder brother's shadow. But Itachi wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily.

"Your boyfriend of six years gets his first major break in the field he's been working in since graduation, and _Kiba_ is the one who celebrates it with him?"

Sasuke sighed, trying to repress the guilty feeling that Itachi's words evoked. "Kiba works for his sister. He has a lot more time to do things like that and more flexibility in his work hours."

Itachi's disapproval did not lessen. "When you got promoted, Naruto organized a party. He even called _me,_ along with every one of your friends in a hundred mile radius."

This time, Sasuke did shift uncomfortably. He could hardly forget that event. As usual, Sasuke's parents hadn't had much to say when Sasuke had called to tell them about his promotion. They had, instead, changed the subject to talk about how _Itachi_ had been recognized as the most talented resident ever at the prestigious hospital where he was working just a year after he'd joined, a story Sasuke had heard many times. Then they had shared the latest story of some 'miracle' Itachi had performed in the emergency room that had reinforced that opinion.

Sasuke had hung up the phone, feeling numb. All his hard work, everything he had achieved, and it was like his parents didn't even _hear_ him.

Naruto had taken one look at Sasuke's face after the call had ended and announced that they were having a party to celebrate. He had roped in Itachi to help with the planning (despite still being somewhat terrified of Sasuke's older brother after Itachi had pulled him aside when they'd first begun dating to have a 'little chat' with him). Naruto had often done things to show his support for Sasuke in the past, but that night… Sasuke had gone from feeling invisible and pointless to feeling like he was really amazing, surrounded by friends and the one person in his family that actually gave a shit about him. And it had all been because of Naruto.

Sasuke's stomach twisted slightly, and the food he'd been eating suddenly became tasteless. Guilt was not an emotion he handled well. He didn't give enough of a shit about most people to feel guilty for things, but Naruto was different. Sasuke knew what it felt like to have the people you cared about blow you off. But he hadn't really blown Naruto off. He'd just been really busy. It wasn't that he didn't _care._ It wasn't the same thing that he parents did to him.

"I didn't know about Naruto's new job until he called me on his way to meet Kiba to celebrate. I came as soon as I got the message. Besides, getting a new project isn't the same as getting a major promotion." Sasuke could hear the defensiveness in his voice, and was annoyed by it.

Itachi looked at Sasuke, as though trying to piece together a puzzle. "Why would Kiba have known about the project before you? I thought you and Naruto were still living together."

Sasuke reached over and poured himself more wine, not looking at his brother. "Work has been really busy. I think Naruto got the call on Sunday, but I was in the middle of an emergency and -"

"Sometimes you can be so foolish, Sasuke," Itachi's voice was calm, but his eyes flashed with anger as he cut Sasuke off.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at his older brother. "Naruto wasn't upset about it."

Itachi arched a brow disbelievingly. "Somehow I find that very hard to believe."

Sasuke gave a slightly smug smirk. "Trust me. He was very happy to see me."

"Tch," Itachi gave an annoyed sound. "I'm not talking about sex, Sasuke. I'm talking about the fact that you and Naruto have been arguing over how much time you're spending at your job for a long time, and you basically just _ignored_ a major event in his life."

Sasuke felt his temper start to flare. If it were anyone else, Sasuke would have shut the conversation down before it even started, but even for Itachi, this crossed the line. Sasuke's relationship with Naruto was just between the two of them. It wasn't anyone else's business.

"We haven't been fighting as much over the past few months. Naruto has finally gotten used to the fact that we're not in college anymore." Sasuke's voice made it clear that he did not want to continue this conversation.

Itachi's expression showed his opinion on that quite clearly. "And that doesn't _worry_ you?"

Sasuke didn't bother to suppress the look of annoyance he shot at his brother for not dropping the subject. "Why would it worry me that Naruto and I fight _less_?"

Itachi seemed to be exerting a lot of self-control to keep from reaching across the table and shaking his little brother. "Sasuke. Naruto used to get angry because he wanted to spend time with you and you weren't able to. You don't think it's _worrying_ that he doesn't seem to mind anymore?"

Sasuke hadn't really thought of it like that. But Itachi hadn't been there on Monday night. He hadn't seen the way Naruto had practically devoured him.

"Things are fine. Once I get promoted, I'll make enough to cover the rent and most of our expenses. It will take a lot of the pressure off Naruto, and he can focus just on doing the type of shoots that he likes, rather than all these annoying birthdays and weddings that I know he hates."

"So you think Naruto is with you for the financial support?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Itachi. You know what I mean. Of course he isn't with me for the money, since I definitely didn't have any when we started dating. But the reality is that Naruto couldn't really support himself very well with the field he chose to go into. I'm not working just for me. I'm working for the both of us. Naruto knows that."

"You've discussed it with him? He agreed?"

Sasuke turned his glass on the table twice before he realized his was fidgeting and stopped. "No. But it's obviously true. Naruto isn't stupid. He knows what our rent is as much as I do."

Itachi didn't bring up the fact that Sasuke was the one who had chosen their downtown apartment with the spare bedroom that they didn't really need. It was clear that Sasuke didn't see anything wrong with the way things were. All Itachi could do was hope that Sasuke was right that Naruto had accepted the temporary strain on their time together while Sasuke launched his career. But somehow, he had a feeling his little brother was going to have a very tough wake-up call.

"If Naruto told you he'd rather move into a smaller apartment and have you work less, would you do it?" Itachi asked, looking Sasuke directly in the eye, forcing him to think through the implications of both the question and its obvious answer.

The silence in the room was deafening. Both brothers knew that financial stability was only a part of the reason Sasuke worked like he did. But they would not discuss the other reasons.

"Itachi, you know how it is. With jobs like ours, you have to put in time in the beginning. Naruto knew what I wanted to do when he started dating me. It just took him a while to get used to the fact that we're not in college anymore."

Itachi considered Sasuke's words. It was clear that Sasuke wasn't _trying_ to hurt Naruto. But it was equally clear that he was not going to change his path. Sasuke had always felt some desperate need to prove himself to their parents, even though it was clear even from when Sasuke was a small child that they had only ever viewed their second son as a financial burden. They had never bothered to hide the fact that Sasuke had been 'an accident'. It had angered Itachi beyond words, and he had tried to make up for their parents' lack of attention, but the damage had been done.

Even though he knew it would be a waste of effort, Itachi made one last attempt to get through to his little brother. He didn't know if Sasuke could really handle it if he lost Naruto. "Sasuke, you need to start putting some effort into an area of your life outside of work. Or that's all you'll end up having: work."

Sasuke's temper finally snapped. "You're one to talk. At least I _have_ a relationship. You only have the flavor of the week. You're even more focused on your career than I am, Itachi. Don't be a hypocrite. It's beneath you."

A look of what almost could have been envy crossed Itachi's face. "Yes. You found someone that could actually see past your looks and all your strengths. Someone who could acknowledge your faults and love you anyway. If I ever find that, you can be damn sure I won't throw it away so foolishly."

Sasuke sat for a moment, slightly stunned. In all his years, he'd never thought he could have something that Itachi coveted. Itachi stood abruptly, carrying his half-eaten dinner over to the counter.

"I love you, Sasuke. And you know I will always be there for you. But you are making a mistake."

With those words, Itachi walked over to the door, pulling on his coat. He looked at Sasuke one final time, then left. It was as close to storming out on him as Itachi had ever done. His older brother had often shown anger to their parents, particularly at their treatment of Sasuke, but Itachi's anger had never been directed at him before.

Sasuke didn't move from the table, turning Itachi's words over in his mind. He thought about Monday night, and how it had felt when Naruto had grabbed him and kissed him after so many months of cold hostility between them. Surely that meant that things were better.

Things with Naruto would be fine. Sasuke was on track to be promoted again within a year and then he would have more time. He'd make it up to Naruto then. He had told Naruto that things would get better, and they would.

Itachi was wrong.

Sasuke's phone buzzed, and in picked it up automatically. He quickly immersed himself in the latest stream of e-mails from the office, pushing Itachi's comments to the back of his mind.

* * *

 _to be continued…._

 **A/N:** Yeah. How do you spell 'foreshadowing'? LOL. But having been in several 'serious' relationships, I can tell you that it is almost impossible to take an outsider's advice. Even if they totally are right and see it all coming. Even if you KNOW that they are right. It just… doesn't work that way. *sighs* And in some cases it just makes it worse.


	6. Too little, too late

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa

 **Warning:** Angst. Like this is any surprise. Besides, you lovelies have all made it to chapter 6 of this fic, which shows you are tough enough to handle it. *snuggles you all*

 **Author's note** : You all know what is coming. :-/ I had to split this into 2 chapters because it got long. Which is… not surprising to anyone, I would guess LOL. un-beta'd.

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Too little, too late**

Naruto's phone buzzed as he sat on the train on the way back home. He had e-mailed Jiraiya some of the photos the day before and wondered if the man was getting back to him on what he thought. He was surprised to see a text from Sasuke instead.

 _What time will you be home tonight?_

Naruto's eyebrows raised at the text. It had been a long time since they'd bothered asking each other that. He texted back.

 _My train gets in around 5 pm. I should be home by 6_

Naruto didn't really expect a reply, but he got one almost immediately.

 _See you then_

Naruto stared at the message. Sasuke would be home from work by six on a Tuesday? That seemed… highly unlikely. A frisson of nerves went through him. He hadn't really wanted to confront Sasuke as soon as he got home. Honestly, Naruto was completely exhausted from the past week of traveling to different cities and carrying his equipment all over, not to mention the stress of having the weird architect basically following him around looking over his shoulder and offering unwanted advice. All of which Naruto ignored.

He had been looking forward to getting home and having some time to decompress before dealing with the situation with Sasuke. A thought suddenly occurred to him… maybe something was wrong. Had something happened with the project Sasuke was working on? Had Sasuke's parents been assholes again? Naruto bit his lip, and punched out a quick text.

 _Is everything ok?_

Naruto felt on edge as he waited for the reply. He might not be happy in their relationship, but that didn't mean he didn't give a shit about Sasuke anymore. His worries were alleviated when he got a reply.

 _Yes. Why?_

Naruto frowned, reading Sasuke's reply. It would probably come across as Naruto trying to pick a fight again if he wrote back ' _because you never text me without a reason' or 'because you never come home this early_.' He didn't want to come back home and start arguing right away.

 _Just wondered. See you at six._

Naruto put his phone back in his pocket and went back to looking out the window. He wished he knew how Sasuke felt about the way things were between them. He used to always know. Sasuke never bothered to hide it if he were annoyed about something. And while Sasuke wasn't particularly expressive with his emotions, Naruto had been able to read when Sasuke was sad or content. But they spent so little time together these days that Naruto felt out of sync with his boyfriend. He really had no idea what Sasuke thought about their relationship anymore. If Sasuke thought about it at all, which didn't really seem likely.

It would make the upcoming conversation a lot easier to face if Naruto had some clue, though. Usually, when Naruto was doing a job, Sasuke didn't call him. But this week, Sasuke had called Naruto on Saturday morning wanting to talk.

* * *

 _Naruto was just finishing looking through his photos from the morning's shoot when his phone rang. He was surprised to see Sasuke's number flash up on the screen._

 _"Hey," Naruto's voice was tinged with the surprise he felt_ _as he answered the call._

 _"Hey. Are you on a shoot?" Sasuke asked, clearly not wanting to bother Naruto if he was working._

 _"Nah. Yesterday, the lighting wasn't right, so I got up early this morning to get some of the shots I wanted. I finished up about two hours ago," Naruto said, stretching up in the bed of his hotel room. It had been an early morning for him. "I am going to take a few night shots tonight, then head out to Sapporo in the morning. I should be back home on Tuesday."_

 _Naruto pulled up the train schedule to check which train he would need to catch._

 _"Hn."_

 _There was a slight pause, as Sasuke either appeared to be unsure what to say, or waiting for Naruto to say something._

 _"You ok?" Naruto asked, frowning slightly._

 _"Yeah. Itachi was here last night."_

 _Naruto felt a twinge of guilt. He'd totally forgotten about Itachi coming. Sasuke loved his brother, but sometimes their conversations just reminded Sasuke of how much he still was in his big brother's shadow. Sasuke usually needed to talk after a visit from his brother, but this felt different._

 _"How'd that go?"_

 _"I forgot to buy food, but we managed to cook up something."_

 _Most people would have thought Sasuke's tone was casual, but Naruto knew him well enough to detect the more subtle undercurrent of something wrong._

 _"You didn't give Itachi food poisoning, did you, bastard?" Naruto probed gently. If Sasuke didn't want to talk about whatever was bothering him, he'd just brush off the comment._

 _"Who are you doing the architecture photos for?" Sasuke asked in what seemed to Naruto to be a complete non sequitur._

 _"Uh… Sanin Jiraiya. Well, I guess his media company. But he's the one who hired me."_

 _"How did he hear about you?" Sasuke asked, sounding honestly interested. Naruto paused, then slowly a smile appeared on his lips. It had been a really long time since Sasuke had asked him about his work._

 _"Actually, you remember that fancy wedding I worked a while back? He was some sort of relative of the groom. He saw my photos, and called me down for an interview." Naruto could hear the excitement in his own voice, and braced himself for Sasuke to show his usual lack of interest. He could hear the sound of Sasuke typing on his laptop and assumed his boyfriend was already tuning him out as he went back to his work._

 _"His company is really diverse," Sasuke said thoughtfully._

 _"You've heard of him?" Naruto's eyebrows raised in surprise._

 _"I'm just checking it out now. I'm on his company's website. He has a lot of pretty well-known books and journals."_

 _Naruto felt the grin on his face widen, even though Sasuke couldn't see it. "Yeah! This assignment is sort of a trial run. If he likes my work, he might put me on staff."_

 _"So don't fuck up," Sasuke said, but Naruto could hear the smirk, and he felt an answering one form on his own lips. It reminded him of how they used to be back in college, when Naruto would be freaking out about his finals, and Sasuke would just arch an eyebrow and tell him the same thing. 'Don't fuck up.' It had somehow steadied Naruto. As though Sasuke had enough confidence in Naruto's abilities that he knew Naruto would be fine without coddling._

 _"Bastard," Naruto's voice held some of the affection he knew he would always feel for the dark-haired man._

 _"Itachi was right. It was a media company who hired you," Sasuke murmured almost absently, the clicking sounds of Sasuke's computer still audible as he continued to look through Jiraiya's website._

 _Naruto's grin froze. "What?"_

 _"Last night. Itachi asked me who you were working for since it isn't your usual type of work. He guessed either architecture firm or media company."_

 _Naruto fought down the twist of bitterness that he felt at the words. Of course Sasuke hadn't been curious on his own. He'd only asked because ITACHI had asked him and he hadn't known the answer._

 _"Yeah. Media company. Hey, Sasuke… I gotta get going. I have some work to finish up."_

 _There was the slightest hesitation, and Naruto wondered if some of the emotions he was feeling had carried into his voice._

 _"Sure. I'll let you go, then. So… Tuesday?"_

 _"Yeah. I'll text you when I'm on my way back."_

 _Naruto had disconnected, not sure why he felt so angry. It wasn't exactly like Sasuke had done anything WRONG. Naruto looked down where his hand held the phone, his knuckles white from the force of his grip. It was his own damn fault for getting his hopes up so easily at the slightest sign of approval from his boyfriend. Sasuke hadn't had really any interest for Naruto's work after they graduated. Why would that change now?_

 _Feeling restless and slightly claustrophobic in the hotel room, Naruto grabbed his camera and headed out. He'd spent the next three hours just walking around the city, taking pictures of things that interested him while he waited for the light to change, not letting himself think about how much he wasn't looking forward to going back home on Tuesday._

* * *

Naruto turned and looked out the window of the train, watching the landscape fly past. He wondered what the evening would bring. He hoped they wouldn't be up all night fighting. He honestly didn't have the energy for it anymore.

He closed his eyes, hoping he could catch a little sleep. He'd been restless the entire trip, and he knew that the travel and excitement about his new job was only a small part of what was keeping him up at night.

He wondered what would happen when he got back and saw Sasuke again.

* * *

Naruto looked at his watch. It was six forty, and there was still no sign of Sasuke at their apartment.

He gave a humorless laugh, definitely directed at himself. What had he expected? Of course Sasuke wouldn't be waiting at home to greet him. Sasuke had actually never _said_ he would be there at six. Naruto had only assumed it. He just kept setting himself up, over and over.

Naruto considered calling Sasuke to find out if he was on his way back, but he had learned after the first year that Sasuke would get annoyed when Naruto called him at work when it wasn't important.

Sasuke not being home early definitely didn't qualify as an emergency. Naruto grabbed his suitcase and carried it over to the washer, dumping his dirty clothes in and setting the cycle going. He tried to focus on the excitement he'd felt traveling to different cities and photographing the buildings. It was a big step up from his usual work, and for the first time Naruto felt like a professional photographer, not just a hobbyist.

Jiraiya had texted him and told him Sai had been raving about the photos. He wanted him to come down later this week after he'd had a chance to look through all the photos and said they would talk about possible future projects then. Jiraiya hadn't promised anything, but he was clearly pleased with Naruto's work. Naruto had texted Kiba to let him know that he might be getting an offer, which had resulted in Kiba calling him and asking him to go out to dinner to celebrate. Naruto had told Kiba he'd take a rain check, though. Partly because he was too fucking tired, but he also realized that he couldn't just keep avoiding Sasuke and their problems indefinitely.

Though Sasuke not _being_ there didn't help things much.

Naruto's stomach grumbled, and he realized that dinner was something he would need to figure out shortly. The food on the train had sucked, so Naruto hadn't had much for lunch. Deciding he would just order extra in case Sasuke showed up, Naruto called out for delivery, relieved to hear that the food would be there in half an hour.

He pulled out his laptop and started looking through the photos he'd taken at the last location. He needed to pick out the ones he liked best from this final set and send them over to Jiraiya like he had for all the other buildings he'd photographed earlier in the week. Naruto felt a surge of pride in knowing that he'd impressed both his (hopefully) future boss and the strangely particular architect.

The sound of a key turning in the lock had his stomach twisting. Sasuke was home.

* * *

Sasuke looked at his watch and realized he had better start packing up if he wanted to be home before Naruto. He felt anticipation flicker through him at the thought that Naruto would finally be home. Naruto had been gone overnight for work once or twice, but this was by far the longest Sasuke had been apart from the blond since they started dating back in college.

Luckily, work had kept him distracted, but even with his busy schedule, he had missed Naruto over the past week. It didn't matter that Naruto was often asleep when Sasuke got home... there was something about coming back to find his lover in their bed that steadied him. He had gotten used to seeing his boyfriend's camera equipment charging on the small table in the living room, his shoes by the door, or printouts of Naruto's latest project on their coffee table. The past week had felt unsettling coming home every night to a dark, empty apartment. He had gone shopping the night before to get the ingredients for Naruto's favorite homemade ramen. It was a little bit of a pain to cook, but Sasuke wanted to do something in lieu of a belated celebration of Naruto's big project. He had tried to brush off Itachi's words over the past few days, but some of what his brother had said had stuck.

Sasuke had just zipped his bag closed when his office door opened and Suigetsu stepped in.

"Hey!" Suigetsu glanced at Sasuke's bag. "Were you heading out already? Good thing I caught you. The software guys have a question about the device, and we need you to come down to the team room."

"Have Hyuuga handle it. He knows the device as well as I do," Sasuke said, slinging the bag over his shoulder.

Suigetsu's eyes rose in surprise. Sasuke _never_ tried to pass off something like this to someone else. "Sasuke, what the fuck? The question they have is about _your_ part of the design. They have a meeting later tonight with the head of the division, who told them specifically to talk to _you_ about this. You're the team leader. You can't just… _leave_!"

Sasuke sighed. No. He _couldn't_ just leave. God fucking dammit.

* * *

Sasuke opened the door to their apartment, frustrated that he was almost an hour later getting home than he'd planned to be. He had left before the meeting was over and just told them to call him if they needed anything further, ignoring the shocked (and slightly displeased) looks on their faces. The lead of the software team had been annoyed, but Sasuke had already explained everything about the design twice. It wasn't Sasuke's job to hold the guy's fucking hand.

His eyes latched immediately onto Naruto, who was sitting at the kitchen table working on his laptop. The blue eyes looked tired and slightly wary when they met his.

"Hey," Naruto said, giving Sasuke a half smile.

Sasuke returned the smile, closing the door behind him as he took off his shoes. He didn't want to think about how much better it felt to come back to the apartment knowing Naruto was inside. "Hey. I thought I'd get back earlier, but I got pulled into a meeting just as I was packing up."

Naruto shrugged, looking back down at his laptop. "No worries. I hadn't really expected you to be back so early anyway."

Sasuke frowned slightly at that. Sure, Sasuke worked late a lot of nights, but Naruto had been gone for a _week_. Why wouldn't Naruto expect him to come back and see him? Sasuke looked at Naruto closely, but there was no sign of anger. Not that it was usually hard to tell if Naruto was pissed off. He wasn't one to hold back his emotions at all. But something definitely seemed off in the way Naruto was barely looking at him. They hadn't seen each other in a _week,_ and Sasuke had expected… something.

"The project is going really well," Sasuke said, setting his bag on the kitchen table. "Neji and I gave a presentation to the board yesterday, and they were impressed. We might even finish ahead of schedule. Then things will calm down."

"Hmm," Naruto murmured, not looking up from his laptop. "That's great that the presentation went well. Is Neji a new member of your team?"

Sasuke paused, realizing that he hadn't really talked to Naruto about things at work since this latest project had started. Naruto used to pry all kinds of things about his work out of him when he got home, but lately Naruto hadn't been doing it.

"Neji's the team lead from the other company we're partnering with on the project. He's good."

There was a note of respect in Sasuke's voice that had Naruto finally looking up. Usually, when Sasuke talked about work, even in the past, it was mostly about the work itself… what part of the project he was worried about or was politics getting in the way. Sasuke had always been an intensely closed-off person, and he didn't bother with personal assessments of people beyond their ability to complete the task at hand.

This was the first time that Naruto had actually heard Sasuke seem to _admire_ someone at work. He fought down the twinge of jealousy. He wasn't sure Sasuke had ever actually admired _him._ But Naruto supposed it was only natural that Sasuke would find people in his own field that he respected. It was normal.

"Maybe we should invite him for dinner some time?" Naruto asked, curious to meet the person who had earned Sasuke's approval.

Sasuke hesitated, frowning slightly. "Maybe."

Naruto pursed his lips, not sure how to read the hesitation. "I've never met anyone from your work. He's the first person you've even seemed to sort of like. I want to meet him."

Sasuke shrugged, thinking about how Suigetsu and Karin gossiped about anything personal they learned about anyone in the office. "Work is work. I don't like people at work involved in my private life." He noticed Naruto's expression, and decided it would be worth the annoyance of dealing with Suigetsu if it mattered that much to Naruto. "We could have Neji over some time. He works late a lot, but when the project slows up a bit, we can have him over for dinner."

"Ah, another workaholic? No wonder you two get along," Naruto said dryly, looking back at his photos, picking another four to send over to Jiraiya.

"What are you working on?" Sasuke asked, walking over to the kitchen. He pulled out a large pot and set it on the stove.

Naruto looked over, noticing what Sasuke was doing. "I already ordered dinner. I got something for you, too. It should be here in like…" Naruto looked at his watch. "... less than ten minutes now."

Sasuke stilled, his eyes going to the fridge where he had put away the ingredients late last night, looking forward to preparing them for his lover. "You… ordered take-out?"

Naruto was looking at his laptop and didn't notice the flash of disappointment in Sasuke's eyes. "Yeah. The food on the train sucked and it was really expensive, so I didn't really have lunch. I'm fucking starving. I wasn't sure if you were going to eat at work or not, but I figured I'd order you something anyway." Naruto dragged the photos he'd selected into the drop box, then sent Jiraiya a note that the last batch of photos was ready for him to look through.

Sasuke looked at the empty pot for a moment, then quietly put it back in the cupboard.

Naruto stood and walked over to the small table where he had all the batteries for his camera equipment charging, replacing the ones that had charged with others as Sasuke watched him from the kitchen. Somehow the evening was so different than what Sasuke had envisioned. He pushed the disappointment down.

"You have another job tomorrow?" Sasuke asked, assuming Naruto was checking the batteries for a reason.

Naruto grimaced slightly. "Yeah. A birthday party that I had scheduled a while ago, before the thing with Jiraiya happened. I have to get up early for it."

Sasuke looked at the weariness in Naruto's face. He had been thinking about an evening where he cooked his lover dinner then they spent the rest of the night in bed. But Naruto was showing no interest in even really looking at him, and giving every sign of just basically wanting to go to sleep.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Naruto said. "Can you get the food when it comes? I have cash in my wallet. I hope it gets here soon. I'm fucking _starving._ "

Naruto headed to the bathroom without a backward glance. If Sasuke had to wait for the food, he couldn't join Naruto in the shower.

"Are you pissed at me?" Sasuke asked directly. They'd never danced around things before, and he wasn't going to start now.

Naruto paused at the bathroom door, then turned to look at Sasuke over his shoulder. He wasn't really sure how to answer the question, but he assumed Sasuke was asking if Naruto was mad he was late. Which he really wasn't. It had just become the norm, and they'd already had enough useless fights about that. Naruto was too tired to have another one when the outcome would just be the same. He wasn't up to having the bigger discussion right then. He needed at least one good night of sleep first.

"I'm tired, Sasuke. I had a really long fucking week. Believe it or not, you're not the only one whose job can be demanding sometimes."

With that, Naruto went into the bathroom. Sasuke heard the sound of the door being locked.

Obviously, Naruto _was_ angry with him. Sasuke felt his own irritation surge. He might have been a little later than expected, but it was still early and he had walked out on a pretty important discussion because he'd wanted to get back to see Naruto and spend some time with him. Only to have Naruto basically ignore him. Why had he even bothered?

Feeling annoyed, Sasuke went over and opened up his laptop. There was a note from Neji asking him if he wanted to grab coffee tomorrow morning and discuss where they were on the project and lay out plans for the next phase of the project. They'd have to submit formal plans in a week or two and hadn't really had a chance to think about it with everything else going on.

Sasuke felt his anger simmering. He had a hard time concentrating on his work. The food arrived, and Sasuke quickly paid for the food, setting it on the counter. He glared at the white cardboard cartons in the bag. If he'd wanted silence and take-out, he could have just stayed in his office and eaten there.

* * *

Naruto pulled his car into the now-familiar curved drive of Jiraiya's estate. While things had only seemed to get worse with Sasuke in the week since he'd gotten back, he'd been spending a lot of time with Jiraiya going over the photos and talking about the final layout for the project. To say that Naruto had blown it out of the water would be an understatement.

The issue was set to be published at the end of the month with full approval of the difficult architect. Based on the wedding photos Jiraiya had seen from Naruto, he had expected the young man to do well with the actual shots. What he _hadn't_ expected was the way Naruto had been able to completely win over someone as challenging as Sai. Naruto had somehow managed to disagree with almost everything Sai said while still managing to not alienate him. In fact, Sai had said that he would only use Naruto for any future work involving photographs of his buildings.

Jiraiya had a number of prickly people he had to deal with, from authors to subjects of works that he wanted to publish about, and he had told Naruto to come over to discuss taking on more regular work with his company.

Naruto parked his car out front. Having been over almost daily for the past week, Naruto had already become comfortable bounding up the front steps and letting himself in. He gave the door a quick bang with the palm of his hand just to let the owner know he was there.

"Hey, Perv! You home?" Their unprofessional first interview together had set the tone for their relationship: one of over-the-top disregard of personal boundaries or political correctness. It suited them both fine.

"Just finishing up a 'special' movie… let me go wash my hands!"

"Gah! Gross!" Naruto laughed as he heard the deep chuckle come from further in the house.

He followed the voice to find the white-haired man drinking a cup of coffee in the same room Naruto had been interviewed in, a stack of what appeared to be travel magazines (not porn) in various languages spread out across the table in front of him.

Naruto pulled up a chair and sat at the table, looking at the magazines curiously.

"So, Kid," Jiraiya began, pulling out a manila envelope and handing it to Naruto. "I told you that - if your first assignment went well - I'd hire you full time."

Naruto looked at the envelope for a moment, then slowly opened it. Inside was an offer letter, including a fee table and benefits that made his eyes widen.

"Read it over and let me know. Talk to that boy toy of yours about it, if you need his permission."

Naruto rolled his eyes, then went back to reading through it. He knew he would take the time to look over all the details, but there was absolutely no way he would turn this down. He would have signed at _half_ this amount of money just for the chance to do jobs like this.

"And I have a second job lined up for you. Though… it's going to be a bit more adventurous than your first one was."

Naruto forced his gaze away from the piece of paper that symbolized the full-on, rocket-propelled launch of his career, and looked at the man who had given it to him.

"Yeah? I'm good with that!"

Jiraiya laughed at the show of enthusiasm. "I mean physically _hard_ kind of adventure. We're pulling together an issue on 'hidden oases'. Some of the most beautiful but inaccessible spots on earth. It would mean some pretty serious travel. Some of these places you can only get to by hiking for more than a week. You'd be gone for several months on this one."

Naruto looked more closely at some of the magazines that were laid out. He recognized Tibet, Nepal, some place that could have been Belize or Honduras…. he felt adrenaline pump through him at the thought of actually being able to _go_ to all those places. He opened his mouth to agree, but Jiraiya raised a hand to forestall him.

"You gotta talk to your boyfriend first on things like this, kid. Take it from an old guy who knows. Even if you're going to say yes either way, you have to at least make it seem like you're going through the motions of talking about this kind of shit. Your job is about to get a lot more demanding and if you're going to make it through with your relationship intact, you gotta learn the basics. Take the contract home and read it over. Sign it if you agree to the terms and bring it back to me tomorrow. We'll need to get you signed onto the health and life insurance programs before you head out on this job either way."

Naruto nodded, but there was no way he wasn't going to do this assignment. Not that he expected it to be an issue with Sasuke in any case. "Sure. I'll talk to him. I'll swing by tomorrow and we can get it set up."

Jiraiya nodded, then went back to looking through the magazines in front of him, his brows furrowed in thought.

"Given how well you managed with Sai, I might be drawing on your skills to handle 'difficult personalities' after you finish with this assignment. Sai's been talking you up to some of his friends. There's one in particular who has recently taken ownership of an… establishment… that caters to a very interesting sub-culture. I've been wanting to do a documentary on it for years, but we could never get the owner to agree. I'll try to arrange an introduction when you get back from these shoots. We'll see if we can make it happen. He's an interesting fellow. Not much older than you, actually. He seemed interested in meeting you after talking with Sai."

"What kind of place does he run?" Naruto asked, but Jiraiya just smirked.

"Go home and look through the contract, kid. We'll talk when you're official."

Naruto glanced one last time at the pictures of the places that he would very shortly be seeing in person. He grinned as he walked back out to his car, the offer letter held tightly in his hands.

He couldn't wait to get on that plane. He didn't pay much attention to the mention of the 'difficult' person he would have to meet with months down the road.

* * *

Naruto let himself in to his apartment, the offer letter still in his hand. He sighed when he saw that Sasuke still wasn't back. He didn't want to put Jiraiya off about the assignment, so he hoped Sasuke came back early enough that they could actually talk about it. Honestly, it sounded exciting as hell and Naruto _really_ wanted to do it. He knew Sasuke wouldn't have any issues with it, but he wouldn't mind Sasuke taking a look at his offer letter. Naruto had never worked for a real company before, and he didn't even really know if he was supposed to negotiate on anything or just sign. Sasuke had been through it at least once, so Naruto figured he'd know at least a little more than Naruto did about the process.

He pulled out his phone, hesitating for a moment before texting Sasuke.

 _Call me when you have a minute. I need to talk to you about a new assignment I might take. And I got an offer!_

Naruto watched his phone for a moment, hoping Sasuke would respond right away, but after a couple of minutes it was clear that he wasn't going to. Naruto chewed his lip, too excited to really calm down and do anything productive. Obviously, if Sasuke was in a meeting he couldn't exactly pull out his phone and text his boyfriend.

Naruto considered calling him, but if Sasuke couldn't answer the text, he wouldn't be able to take a call, either.

Two hours later, Naruto was had gone from excited to seriously annoyed. It wasn't like he'd sent Sasuke a text about when he'd be home for fucking _dinner_. It was about work, and the bastard should have at least been able to step out for two minutes by now.

Naruto heated up the leftovers from the day before, not even paying attention to what they were.

He had just started eating when the home phone rang. He looked down, surprised to see that the caller ID showed it was a number from the company Sasuke worked for, but it wasn't Sasuke's extension.

Concerned, Naruto answered the call.

"Hello?"

" _Oh, um… hello? Is this… Uchiha Sasuke's home?" The female voice sounded slightly puzzled. "There is an urgent matter at work and we need to reach him."_

"Yeah, this is the right number, but…" Naruto hesitated. Wasn't Sasuke supposed to be at work? "... he isn't back from work yet. Did you try his cell?"

" _Yes, but it went to voicemail. He left for dinner over an hour ago with our other team leader but they aren't back yet. We thought maybe he'd gone directly home, but I guess the dinner meeting must have run long… shit."_

She seemed frustrated and slightly desperate.

Naruto felt a brush of irritation at the fact that he was totally useless here. He had no idea where Sasuke was… no clue as to where Sasuke usually at dinner when he worked late.

"I can have him call you when he gets in," Naruto offered.

" _Thank you Mr…."_

"Uzumaki," Naruto said.

" _Thank you Mr. Uzumaki. My name is Karin. I work with Sasuke and our boss just called my cell looking for him. The CEO has a call in less than two hours with an important tech analyst that publishes in a major US forum and is very influential in that market. The analyst just informed him that he wants to talk about the new product that Sasuke has been developing, and the CEO wants Sasuke to brief him on some of things and listen in to the call and give him talking points if they get into any of the technical elements. We need him back at the office immediately."_

"Did you check the places you guys usually go for dinner?"

 _"Yeah, we usually eat at the same three places all the time, but we checked and he wasn't there."_

"Ok, well… I'll have him call you as soon as I see him," was all Naruto could say. She thanked him and hung up.

Naruto raked his fingers through his hair. This was clearly a really big deal. Wasn't this sort of thing the reason Sasuke told him he always kept his phone with him even on weekends? Why the fuck wasn't he answering the damn thing! Naruto breathed out a huff of annoyance, but then bit his lip. He wondered if Sasuke could get fired if he missed this call. Probably not, but it wouldn't be good for his career.

Naruto tried to think. How could he find Sasuke in time? There was a small pile of bills on the kitchen table, including a stack of receipts that Sasuke was likely planning on turning in to get reimbursed for dinners he'd had at work with his team. The woman had said Sasuke had gone to dinner with someone from the team, but wasn't in the usual places. Naruto skimmed through the receipts. Three seemed to pop up pretty frequently, and he guessed these were the places that Karin had already tried.

But there was one receipt from a place that was different, and the bill looked like only two people had gone there that time as well. Naruto looked at the receipt, noticing that the phone number and address were printed on top. Naruto tried calling, but it was dinner rush and Naruto was immediately placed on hold. He tapped his fingers in impatience as he waited. They didn't live that far from Sasuke's office, and this place was actually pretty close to their apartment. After another minute on hold, Naruto decided to fuck it. He would just walk there.

He left Sasuke a note in the middle of the kitchen table telling him to call Karin from work if he got back before Naruto did, then grabbed his jacket and headed out.

* * *

Naruto walked into the restaurant, his eyes taking in the very high end decor but not really noticing it. He needed to find Sasuke.

Naruto felt relief wash through him as he recognized the familiar spiky haircut of his lover. He took a step into the dining room towards the table where Sasuke was sitting, but he paused as he took in the overall scene. Sasuke was sitting at a small table with another man. They were both drinking coffee, obviously finished with their meal. Their faces were relaxed, and the usual guardedness in Sasuke's eyes was absent as he conversed with the man sitting across from him at the table.

Naruto's first though about Sasuke's companion was that the man was… beautiful. His long, black hair was tied in a perfect, low ponytail. He had classic Japanese coloring and features except for his eyes, which were pale and intense. He held his coffee cup with a confident, masculine elegance that spoke of a refined upbringing in a family of power.

But it wasn't the man's looks or demeanor that had envy surging through him like a tidal wave. It was the way that Sasuke looked at the man. There was no lust in Sasuke's gaze, but there was an intensity to the focus on his dinner companion that made Naruto's throat close. It was obvious that Sasuke was taking in everything that the man was saying, not missing a single nuance or detail. The man held Sasuke's complete and utter attention.

It reminded him of the way Sasuke used to look at him when they were in their first class together, before everything had started. Sasuke would note everything that Naruto said (and in most cases, try to pick it apart and find something wrong with it)... his eyes would follow Naruto wherever he went.

Naruto watched as the beautiful, long-haired man took a sip of his coffee. Sasuke was speaking now, and there was no mistaking the admiration in the pale-eyed man's gaze directed toward Sasuke. It was subtle, and Naruto would bet Sasuke hadn't even noticed it. Naruto had always been better at reading people than his emotionally stunted lover, but there was no doubt in Naruto's mind.

It was that moment when Naruto knew it was really over. He knew that Sasuke was not sleeping with the man. Not yet. Sasuke had far too much pride to ever cheat. But any illusion that Naruto had that Sasuke was just too focused on work to have any need for human connection had just been shattered before Naruto's eyes.

It wasn't that Sasuke didn't need companionship. It was just that Sasuke didn't need _Naruto's_ company. He'd found someone else to talk with, to share his thoughts with. Someone who worked with him, shared the same interests and expertise. Someone reserved and sophisticated, like Sasuke.

It hurt. Even though Naruto had known this was coming, the pain was still intense.

But beneath the hurt, he felt almost… relieved. He had known things had been going downhill for a long time. This gave him a reason to finally just pull the plug on things. He didn't need to feel guilty about walking away. It was clear they would both be better off. Naruto could go and pursue his career how he wanted and try to find the companionship he needed in his life. Sasuke could be with someone he was more compatible with. They could both find what they wanted now.

Naruto felt a sort of numb resolution fill him as he stepped forward. He still had a message to deliver. As he approached the table, Sasuke looked over, the black eyebrows raised in surprise to see Naruto there. There was no guilt in Sasuke's face, and Naruto was relieved. If Sasuke viewed this dinner as anything other than business, Naruto would have been able to tell. He was glad that they would be able to end things before one of them truly did something unforgivable.

"Naruto," Sasuke's eyes looked slightly concerned, clearly wondering why Naruto was here obviously looking for him. "Is everything ok?"

"Your office called the house looking for you," Naruto said, his voice strangely calm and devoid of its usual emotion. "They tried your cell, but it was turned off."

Sasuke blinked, looking down at his phone resting on the table. He shifted, not sure why he felt uneasy. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He and Neji had been told they needed to submit an assessment of whether they'd need to add more people to the team for phase three of the project, and they'd been hungry, so decided to do it over dinner. Neji was tired of the same restaurants they always went to with the team, so he'd taken Sasuke to his favorite restaurant. It was more expensive than their usual place, so they didn't come here often.

"The CEO has an interview with an American tech analyst, and he just found out they want to discuss the new product you've been working on. He needs you to brief him on some of the more technical elements before the call, then listen in on the call to give him talking points in case they ask him something technical," Naruto glanced down at his watch. "The call is in less than an hour now. You should hurry."

Sasuke glanced at his watch as well, then looked back at the carefully blank face of his usually expressive boyfriend. Something was clearly wrong, but he couldn't understand what. He and Neji had only been discussing business, but the look in Naruto's eyes said he thought it was something else. Sasuke glanced around the restaurant, realizing that it did look less like a typical business venue.

Naruto turned to the man sitting across from Sasuke, greeting him politely. "Sorry for interrupting, I'm Naruto. Sasuke's… roommate."

Sasuke froze at the introduction. _Roommate?_

Neji returned the greeting. "Hyuuga Neji. I am working with Sasuke on the project that you mentioned. It's a joint venture between our companies."

Naruto just nodded. While it was true that Sasuke had been even more closed off for the past three months, he couldn't lay the blame of the end of their relationship at the Hyuuga's feet. They had been drifting apart ever since college. Seeing Sasuke talking with Neji had underscored that, but it wasn't the cause.

Naruto forced his smile not to fade, despite the pain in his chest. The Hyuuga was everything he wasn't. Classic Japanese beauty, obviously from a high-standing family, calm, reserved… and in the same line of work as Sasuke. They had so much in common. Unlike Sasuke and Naruto.

Naruto turned to see Sasuke watching him, concern on the face that he had loved for so many years.

"Naruto, it's just work," Sasuke said.

Naruto smiled crookedly, but it didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah, we started out sort of that way, too."

"Naruto -," Sasuke began, but Naruto couldn't let him finish. Whatever it was that Sasuke said at this point, it wouldn't matter. All he wanted to do was to go and tell Jiraiya he was more than happy to do the assignment.

"I have to go. I was in the middle of some things when your office called looking for you. You need to get down to the office and handle this. We'll talk when you get back." Naruto turned to look at Neji, ignoring the pang of envy at the man's composed elegance. "It was nice to finally meet you."

Neji raised an eyebrow. "Finally meet me?"

Naruto didn't reply just bowed politely and left. His hands were shaking. He could feel Sasuke's gaze on his back as he walked out the restaurant, but he knew that Sasuke would have to call his office immediately and take care of whatever it was that was happening. It would give Naruto a bit of time to get himself under control. But first he had a few calls to make.

Naruto jerked when he felt a hand fall on his shoulder.

"Naruto, talk to me. What's wrong?" Sasuke's voice was concerned. Naruto had to force himself to turn and face him.

"We'll talk about it when you get home."

Sasuke looked honestly worried, and Naruto felt a constriction in his chest. Why couldn't it have been easier to face this? Why did Sasuke need to look like he cared, after so many months of clearly showing that he didn't? But Naruto couldn't keep going through this. Not anymore. It was time to end it. But he wouldn't do that to Sasuke minutes before he had to go do a call with the CEO that could make or break his career.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong. It was just a business dinner. Why did you say you were my fucking _roommate_?"

Naruto drew a breath, refraining from pointing out that it was Sasuke who never wanted to introduce him to anyone at work. There would be time for all that when Sasuke got back home. "Sasuke. I'm not going to talk to you about this in the middle of the goddamn street. Go do what you need to do. I'll be waiting back at the apartment. I promise we'll talk about it all then, no matter how late you get back."

"Naruto -" Sasuke started again, but Naruto just pulled Sasuke's phone out of his hand and turned it on. It began ringing almost immediately.

"You need to handle this. I know you're not cheating, Sasuke. This isn't about that. We'll talk when you get back. I have to go. And so do you."

With that, Naruto turned and walked back to their apartment.

* * *

 _to be continued..._

 **A/N:** Sorry… this chapter and the next one will obviously be pretty angsty. Next chapter is about half written, and picks up from when Sasuke gets home. And anyone expecting that confrontation to be calm and rational has never been through a major break-up with someone they loved. LOL


	7. No chance

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa

 **Warning:** LOTS of swearing. TONS of it. All over the fucking place. You know how I roll, and this is a fight, so...

 **Chapter 7** \- No chance

 **Author's Note:** Another weirdly fast update! I am clearly obsessed with this story, but at some point I am guessing things will go back to my regular update frequency of about 2 weeks. Probably? idk. ANYWAY, up to this point in this story, the canon elements of their characters that are most 'in play' are: 1 - Naruto (due to his childhood and possibly just how he's wired), needs _a lot_ of attention, particularly from Sasuke, and needs external validation of himself even though he is very talented and has lots of friends. 2 - Sasuke is _very_ driven and tends to get tunnel vision on his goals (job, revenge, whatever) and loses sight of other things including his own emotional needs. So their character flaws are basically diametrically opposed to each other (something that always struck me as particularly tragic in canon), but they still love each other so it is just… really hard. For this chapter in particular, remember that Naruto has had time to think about this all and come to terms with what he feels and what he wants to say. Sasuke hasn't, and normal human beings need time to process stuff like this before they can really express or even KNOW how they feel. And… as we all know… Sasuke is less emotionally adept than your normal person. So…. LOL

* * *

Sasuke's stomach felt like lead as he watched Naruto walk away without looking back. Naruto had seemed to believe him when he said that there was _nothing_ going on with Neji. But if Naruto had believed him, then why did he still seem so upset? Sasuke had never even _thought_ about Neji as anything other than his co-team leader on the project. The tension that was gripping him was making his palms sweat. He stood there, frozen, not sure what to do or what to think.

"Everything ok?" Neji's calm voice came from right behind him.

Sasuke was still looking down the street where Naruto had disappeared. He didn't really know how to answer the question. He honestly… didn't know. It was a very unsettling feeling for him.

Neji looked at him assessingly, a hint of concern coloring his pale eyes. "I took care of the bill. Are you going home or are you going to the office?" Neji asked, his voice carefully neutral to avoid appearing to pry into Sasuke's personal business. Something Sasuke greatly appreciated about the man, particularly in that moment.

"Naruto is my boyfriend," Sasuke found himself saying, not sure why it suddenly was extremely important that he say it out loud. He turned to look at Neji, wanting to see the man's reaction. "We've been together for six years."

Neji raised an eyebrow, glancing down the same path Sasuke's eyes had been focused on. "Do you need to go home? I can cover you with the analyst call."

They both knew that Neji really couldn't. He worked for a different company and wouldn't know how the current project fit in with the other things going on in the company the way Sasuke did. Neji wouldn't be able to highlight the right things. Plus, this was clearly a make or break moment in Sasuke's career. It wasn't every day that the CEO asked you to be his right-hand-man on an important PR moment like this.

"No," Sasuke said, finally. "Naruto gave me his word that we'd talk about… this… when I get home. He will keep his word. I'm sure… we can… sort it all out."

Neji frowned slightly. "If you need me to talk to him, I'd be happy to confirm that this was strictly business."

"I… no. He believed me. I just don't know why -" Sasuke stopped himself. Naruto's expression when he'd left kept swimming in Sasuke's head. What had happened? What was wrong?

"You don't know why…" Neji prompted, handing Sasuke his bag that Sasuke had left behind in the restaurant in his rush to go after Naruto. Sasuke accepted it automatically, slinging it over his shoulder.

"He introduced himself to you as my _roommate._ Why would he do that?" Sasuke wasn't sure if he was talking to himself or Neji. He felt like he was trying to see through a brick wall. Things had seemed to be getting better over the past few months but now… Sasuke didn't know.

Neji shrugged, "He probably knew that you hadn't discussed your relationship status with anyone at work. Maybe he thought you didn't want us to know? Did he think your orientation would put your job at risk?"

While Neji's explanation was _logical_ , Sasuke somehow knew that it wasn't _right._ He turned as they headed to Neji's car. "I don't know." Naruto had been clear that he preferred to talk when Sasuke had finished this meeting and they were at home in private. Sasuke trusted that Naruto would tell him what was wrong so they could talk it out. Naruto had never been one to hold back on what he thought when Sasuke had fucked up in the past. Sasuke wondered what had happened, but figured they'd fight it out like they usually did. He was only feeling unsettled because usually he knew when he'd done something to piss Naruto off, and this time he really wasn't sure.

"I'm sure you'll get it sorted out when you get home," Neji said. "Should we talk through the key points that you need your CEO to make on the call?"

Sasuke hesitated for a moment, then nodded. He just needed to get through the call, then he would go home and find out what the fuck was going on.

* * *

Naruto put the last bag of his camera equipment into the trunk of his car. He'd already called Kiba and asked if he could crash at his place. He knew that the conversation with Sasuke was not going to go well, and he didn't want to have to sleep there that night. Throwing his camera equipment into his car in the middle of a big fight seemed like a particularly stupid idea given the cost of some of his lenses, so he had decided to do it before Sasuke got back. And it gave him something to do while he waited.

He'd packed up some of his clothes and the things he'd need for work for the next few days. If things went the way he expected them to, he'd come back and move the rest of his stuff out later that week.

It felt… strange. For so long, all he'd ever wanted was Sasuke. He could hardly believe that he was actually the one walking away. His stomach twisted, and he wondered if he was doing the right thing. He had never felt as close to someone as he did with Sasuke. He might never find anything like this again. Was he really ready to do this?

He closed his eyes, his head falling back as memories of the misery he'd felt for the past two years washed through him. Yes. This was the right thing to do. He couldn't keep on like this. He needed someone in his life, not just brushing past it. And Sasuke clearly needed… someone else. Naruto didn't know whether Sasuke would end up with Neji or not, but it was clear that Naruto didn't hold Sasuke's interest anymore. It would probably hurt less to be alone than to be with someone who constantly made him feel unworthy and in the way. He didn't fool himself about how much he would miss Sasuke. It was going to kill him. But he had to leave, or he would slowly be destroyed.

But the waiting was unbearable. Now that he'd made up his mind, he just wished it was already over. He didn't want to hurt Sasuke, but other than pricking his pride, Naruto didn't expect Sasuke to be that upset. After all, how much could Sasuke really care anymore if he couldn't even be bothered to show up most of the time?

Naruto had already packed everything he could fit into his car, so there was nothing really left to do except wait. Naruto tried to read a book or watch TV, but he found his mind couldn't stay focused on anything. Finally, he decided he could at least do some cleaning in the kitchen and the bathroom while he waited. Sasuke usually did that, but it would give Naruto something to do with his hands and occupy his mind until Sasuke came back.

* * *

Sasuke hadn't stayed one second longer than absolutely required in the CEO's office, calmly accepting the thanks from the senior executive for the success of the call with the American analyst and then heading home as fast as possible.

He'd had to force himself to stay focused during the call, but the whole time his mind had been buzzing trying to figure out what was going on with Naruto. Things had been going better between him and Naruto in recent months. Naruto had been less angry, and they'd been talking a little bit more. Sasuke was closer than ever to getting the next promotion, and then he would have more control over his schedule.

But the expression on Naruto's face when he'd left….

Sasuke had never seen it before, and he never wanted to see it again. Something was terribly wrong, and he needed to get home and fix it.

Sasuke opened the door to their apartment, the smell of cleanser sharp in the air. It was a scent that Sasuke usually found soothing, but it did nothing to take the edge off the uneasiness that he felt at the moment.

Naruto looked up from a dish he was washing in the sink. Sasuke felt his wariness grow at the look of grim determination in Naruto's eyes as he tried off his hands. There was something odd about the degree of cleanliness of the room, but Sasuke couldn't quite place it because all he could look at was Naruto's face and the way the blue eyes watched him with a sort of resigned sadness that Sasuke didn't know how to interpret.

"How did the call go?" Naruto asked, snapping Sasuke out of his frozen state.

"Fine," Sasuke replied, slowly setting his bag down and toeing off his shoes, his gaze never leaving Naruto's. "Now are you going to tell me what the fuck you meant by introducing yourself to Neji as my _roommate_?"

Naruto gave a humorless smile. "Cutting right to the chase, eh, Sasuke?" Naruto sighed as he pulled out a chair at their kitchen table and sat down. "Given that you didn't seem to want anyone to know you were dating me, I figured there was no point in introducing myself as your boyfriend. Especially not now."

Sasuke paused. There were so many things wrong with what Naruto just said he didn't even know where to start. He sat down at the table across from Naruto.

"I don't talk about Itachi or my parents or _any_ of my personal life at work. Just like I didn't in college. And you know that, so don't read shit into it. What do you mean 'no point, especially now'?"

Naruto shrugged, and Sasuke knew Naruto was conceding at least his first point. It was true. In college, Sasuke never discussed _anything_ with people unless it was part of a class assignment. Naruto had changed that, though the process had been an outright battle. Neither boy had liked to talk much about their pasts. Slowly they'd dragged bits and pieces out of each other. It had been like pulling teeth to get Sasuke to open up about _anything,_ but Naruto hadn't been much better. Not really. Naruto would talk endlessly with anyone about shit that _didn't matter_ , but that was all just a front to keep people from getting to know him beyond a superficial level. Sasuke had been the only one he'd told the dark stuff too... the things in Naruto's past that had shaped him. Sasuke didn't let his gaze waver from Naruto's, daring his lover to refute that truth.

Naruto met his gaze, but there was no acknowledgement in the blue eyes. Sasuke felt his anxiety grow. Usually, they would be on the same page with things like this, understanding what the other was thinking, but now… Sasuke had the feeling they weren't even in the same book. And Naruto's next words bore that out in brutal starkness.

"Look, Sasuke. I just… we both know this isn't working." Naruto grimaced slightly, possibly at the clichéd words that he'd just uttered, but Sasuke barely noticed.

He felt like he had somehow walked into the wrong room. Naruto... couldn't be saying what it sounded like. Naruto would _never_ do that. Not without one hell of a fight. Especially given all it had taken to get them together in the first place, fighting each other every step of the way.

"What? _What_ isn't working?" Sasuke asked sharply.

Naruto looked at him as though he were being purposefully obtuse, and Sasuke forced himself to not jump to conclusions. There was no way that Naruto was saying -

"Our relationship, Sasuke. It's… I think it's time to just…" Naruto searched Sasuke's face, and Sasuke wondered what he was able to read from his expression. "Neither of us are happy. I can help out with rent until you find another roommate, if you want, or -"

"Wait. _What?"_ Sasuke felt panic spear into his stomach, but it was laced with an edge of anger. If this was some sort of joke, Sasuke was going to kick Naruto's ass for it. "You're _breaking up_ with me?" Utter disbelief colored Sasuke's voice.

Naruto raised his hands in a placating fashion that just pissed Sasuke off even more. "Look, Sasuke, I just… I'm tired of fighting all the time and nothing ever changes and -"

Sasuke remembered Naruto's insinuation about Neji, and a horrible thought struck him.

"Are you seeing someone else?" Sasuke asked, his voice harsh. If Naruto was leaving him for someone else, it would break him. And he would probably wind up in jail for killing someone. But Naruto's horrified expression told him instantly that that was not the case, and Sasuke felt some of his sanity return.

"What?! No! Of course not, you asshole, I just -"

"Then what the fuck, Naruto!" Sasuke stood so abruptly that the chair fell over, but he didn't bother picking it up. He walked over to the kitchen counter then turned around to face Naruto. "So you just decided this? All on your own, for no apparent reason. Six years, and we're not even going to discuss it?! You're just seriously going to sit there calmly and talk to me about… about the fucking _rent?!"_ Sasuke felt an almost uncontrollable urge to throw the table across the room.

Sasuke could see an answering temper start to spark in Naruto's eyes, and it made him glad to see _something_ rather than that calm, stupid _front_ that had fuck-all to do with the man he thought he'd been dating. The man who was passionate and loyal and honest and didn't just walk away for no fucking reason. _Not_ someone who just announces out of the blue that their relationship was _over,_ like cancelling the subscription to a magazine that no longer held his interest.

"We've _been_ talking about it, Sasuke! Jesus, we've been arguing about your work schedule for over two years and -"

"How the fuck have we been talking about it? I'm pretty sure that this is the first I'm hearing about you wanting to break up. And it's already decided?"

Naruto blinked, looking surprised at Sasuke's reaction and Sasuke couldn't understand why. "Sasuke, I've been telling you for the past _two years_ that things were not good. Do you remember how many fights we had about the fact that you're _never_ fucking _home_?"

Sasuke could barely even register what Naruto was saying. "You stopped complaining about that _months_ ago. I told you that as soon as I get the next promotion, things will get better and I _thought_ that you were being reasonable and -"

"Reasonable? How is it _reasonable_ to work as many hours as you do and not have anything ever change?" Naruto was shouting now, too, and somehow it made Sasuke feel better that he wasn't the only one.

"It's _reasonable_ because most people work after college! Not everyone has a job like you where they can set their own hours. And one of us has to make enough to cover our bills! Tell me what isn't _reasonable_ about that."

"Not everyone works themselves to death for their job, Sasuke! There has to be some middle ground."

"But I keep telling you that this is temporary. When I get promoted I'll have -"

"Then suddenly you'll be satisfied? All your ambitions will be fulfilled? This isn't the first goal you've set for yourself, Sasuke. It isn't the first time you've told me it will get better soon. But it never _does._ It's never going to end. Every time you reach one milestone, you just slot a new one into its place. We don't ever spend any time together. I hardly ever even _see_ you. How is that a relationship?"

"And that's it? I have a job and so now I'm not _fun_ enough and you just decide to walk?" Sasuke could feel his hands shaking. His brain was still not processing much aside from the fact that Naruto - the only person Sasuke had ever willingly let into his life - was calmly announcing that he'd decided to leave it.

"It's not about fun, Sasuke! It's about you fucking never _being here_!" Naruto's shout filled the room. "I spent the first half of my life alone. I have no intention of spending the second half that way. This… this isn't enough for me."

The words hit Sasuke like a slap. How long had Sasuke spent his life feeling like he was good but never quite _enough_? His entire childhood had been spent having that rubbed in his face over and over by his parents and his teachers, with the constant comparisons to his perfect older brother.

The fact that Naruto had chosen that particular knife to wield should have made Sasuke furious, but the vulnerable expression in Naruto's face made Sasuke's chest tighten, instead. He knew a little about Naruto's past. Neither one had talked about their unhappy childhoods extensively, but he knew the basics. And he understood why Naruto was mad that Sasuke worked late to a certain extent. But that was just a temporary thing while Sasuke got started in his career. He had explained this to Naruto over and over.

Sasuke couldn't just _quit_. Not after working so hard putting himself through school with no help from his parents or anyone else. Naruto _knew_ that. Naruto knew why Sasuke couldn't just quit and Naruto knew _why_.

But he was still asking him to. Naruto was… making him choose.

"Naruto…" Naruto flinched at the sound of Sasuke's voice and Sasuke didn't want to think about what emotions were betrayed by his own throat. It reminded him of when he was young, desperately trying to talk his parents into coming to his debate when he won at state. Or to his soccer matches. Or to really fucking _anything_ , but they never could be bothered unless it involved Itachi.

He cleared his throat, putting every ounce of cold disdain into his voice. If Naruto was going to do this to him, then he wouldn't let him see how much it hurt. He could be just as callous. "So that's it? You're asking me to choose between you and my career?"

Naruto seemed to hesitate, his face looking conflicted, and Sasuke felt a flicker of hope. But then Naruto drew a breath and slowly shook his head.

"No, Sasuke. I'm telling you that you already have. What would extracting some sort of promise from you get me? We've tried that before. I don't want to _force_ you to spend time with me by threatening to leave you. What would that even mean? I don't want you to do it if it isn't what you want. I can't _force_ you to be interested in my life. All that would do would be to make us hate each other."

Sasuke felt an odd, panicky feeling in vice around his chest. But then slowly, the hurt and desperation he'd felt melted away, hardening into a cold anger that built in his stomach then coiled protectively around his heart as he realized something important.

Naruto had led him on for the past several months.

He'd made Sasuke think that things were _fine_ when they _weren't_. Which was just another form of lying... something Sasuke never tolerated from anyone and something he sure as _hell_ had never expected from Naruto. How many times had Naruto told him he'd always be there for him? How many times had Naruto told Sasuke how much he needed him, that Sasuke was the only person who'd really been able to understand him? Sasuke's face closed off, a mask of cold disdain falling easily into place. He'd used it on his parents many times.

Evidently, the past few months had all just been _bullshit_. The same, self-serving bull-shit that everyone else always spewed at him. He'd been stupid to believe in Naruto. People were all the same.

"Well, it's good to know that it our relationship was worth so much to you," Sasuke sneered, grateful that his voice came out cold and biting, showing none of the hurt he was feeling. "I guess I should thank you for not breaking up with me in the restaurant and causing a public scene. How long have you been planning to spring this on me?"

"Sasuke, I -" Naruto looked upset, but Sasuke wasn't interested. There was no going back now.

"How. Fucking. Long," Sasuke narrowed his eyes. His body was filled with the heat of his anger. And he was grateful, since it was drowning out the horrible pain that had flooded him when Naruto had told him he was breaking it off.

"Two weeks," Naruto said, scrubbing his fingers through his hair. Sasuke wrote off the look of anguish on Naruto's face. What did Naruto have to be anguished about? This was Naruto's choice. Naruto's lie.

Something about the timeframe made Sasuke suddenly pause. He did the mental math, then he was across the room before he could even process the intent to do so, his fingers fisting into the collar of Naruto's sweatshirt as he dragged him out of the chair and slammed him against the kitchen wall. "You fucked me knowing you were going to _leave_?"

Naruto grunted slightly at the impact with the wall, and his eyes carried a flash of guilt that nearly made Sasuke lose control and put his fist into Naruto's face. He felt a visceral need to hurt the blond who was ripping him apart. Sasuke had not taken many lovers. He had never been one for physical intimacy with just random people, and Naruto _knew_ that. Sasuke had _trusted_ Naruto, and…

"No. Sasuke, _no,_ " Naruto's voice was desperate and pained but Sasuke didn't care. "I was drunk and I hadn't meant to… I was unhappy, but it wasn't until after that night that I decided that… that I realized…"

Sasuke released Naruto's shirt and stepped back, not trusting himself to be that close to Naruto when he was this angry. He felt his throat closing up and squeezed his eyes closed. This was such utter and complete _shit_. He felt like he didn't know Naruto at all in that moment. Where was the open, trustworthy, _loyal_ person he'd opened himself up to? He felt bitter and emotionally betrayed. Instinctively, he lashed out, wanting Naruto to feel at least a taste of what he felt.

"So we had a good fuck and you decided that it was over?" Sasuke's voice was harsh and angry.

Naruto flinched at the words more than he had when Sasuke had slammed him into the wall.

"It wasn't like that, Sasuke. I hadn't planned anything I was just…"

"You were just _what_ , Naruto? Unhappy enough with me to beg me to fuck you and cum _twice_? Then decide the next day that you'd string me along for two weeks while you lined everything up before you walked out?"

Naruto looked down at the floor, and Sasuke felt a pain shoot through him. Why hadn't Naruto fought for them? How could he _do_ this?

"So what's your plan, now?" Sasuke's voice was mocking. "You've got your big break, so you don't need me supporting you anymore. What, you planning to just go find some college student to fuck now who can spend all day just waiting for you to come home like some goddamn _housewife_? Someone who has no life outside of _you_?"

Naruto's head snapped up and any guilt that had been on the blond's face was gone in a flash of anger.

"This isn't about my job, Sasuke. This hasn't been working for a long time! The only reason this is a _surprise_ to you is because it hasn't been important enough to you for you to fucking _notice!_ "

An echo of Itachi's words made Sasuke somehow even angrier, though this time he wasn't sure if he was angrier at Naruto or himself.

"And you've always been the kind of person to just sit back _silently_ and wait for someone to fucking _notice_ you, right, Naruto? It's funny how you didn't decide to leave until you got a job to support yourself. I guess now that I'm not _useful_ , you can find someone else." Sasuke couldn't stop the words from leaving his lips. Naruto paled as though he'd been struck. Sasuke smiled coldly.

"You can't really think that I -" Naruto's voice choked off, and Sasuke had to look away. He could not look at Naruto anymore. The betrayal of everything was so overwhelming that he didn't know what he would do if Naruto came too close to him right now.

"I don't know you at all, Naruto," Sasuke's voice was devoid of all emotion. "The person I _thought_ I was dating wouldn't just give up without even trying to talk it out. What am I supposed to think? You walk practically the _day_ you got that fucking job offer."

" _Sasuke,_ I…" Naruto's voice was shaking, but it was partially in anger. "Look, if all I was waiting for was my 'big break', I could have broken up with you right after college when I got offered that internship! But I didn't! I turned it down to be with _you_. But you won't even miss a single goddamn _meeting_ to spend time with me!"

Sasuke blinked, surprise at what Naruto was saying temporarily breaking through his haze of anger. His eyes snapped back to Naruto's face. "You told me that the internship you turned down had shitty pay and that it wasn't worth the cost to commute."

"Yeah. It did have shitty pay. But it was at a company known for _making_ photographers, Sasuke. I _had_ my break right away. But you were more important. Our relationship was more important. But you clearly didn't feel the same. All you did was resent the fact that you were paying more of the bills than I was and that my career wasn't going anywhere while yours was taking off."

Sasuke processed the implications of what Naruto was saying, and his anger flooded back through him.

"What the hell, Naruto?! You can't just make decisions like that without telling me and then _blame_ me for it! How was I supposed to know what you were giving up if you didn't _tell_ me? We could have found a way to make it work. I never asked you to give up your career for me, or put it on hold! We could have both gotten smaller apartments and seen each other on the weekends. With the hours I work -"

"I know that _now_!" Naruto gritted out. "But I didn't know that _then_. But my _point_ is that I chose you, and you chose your job."

"And maybe if you'd just fucking _talked_ to me about it, we could have found a way to have _both_!"

"Sasuke I _tried_ talking to you so many times -"

"Not about the job offer. You never _once_ talked to me about it except to say you already turned it down."

"I tried to talk to you about _other things..._ the long hours you were working, the fact that we never did anything together anymore, but it just never got us anywhere! I'm tired of living alone, I'm tired of not having anyone to talk to."

"You talked to me about things I couldn't change, then kept silent on the things we could have actually _fixed_!We aren't in college anymore, Naruto! We have to grow up. We can't just hang out all night playing video games or watching movies or whatever now. This is real _life_ , Naruto, and unless you're born with a trust fund, you have to work."

"I know that, Sasuke! Don't fucking talk to me like I'm some child -"

"Then quit _acting_ like one! Two years, Naruto. I had to pay my dues at work for two, maybe three years, then things will settle down. And you couldn't wait? Just because you chose to put your career on hold without even _telling_ me doesn't mean I can do the same fucking thing!"

"I can't be with someone who is only married to their work, Sasuke! There had to be some middle ground. _Normal_ people find a middle ground!"

"Oh, and how do you know? My parents worked like dogs their whole careers and got nowhere. Itachi works even longer hours than I do. Who do you know who has all this fucking free time? Kiba? He works for his goddamn sister! Most people have to put in their dues when they start a new job unless it's pumping fucking _gas._ "

"There's a difference between pumping gas and not having any sort of life outside of work, Sasuke. But you aren't willing to try. You keep just talking about it getting better someday, but some day never comes and you just keep pushing the deadline out further and further. You don't really even _try._ "

"How would you know whether I am trying, Naruto? Just because I don't shove it in your face when I leave a meeting early to come back to see you or try to cook you dinner doesn't mean it never _happens._ You're too busy running to Kiba to be here when I _do_ try. You gave up on this relationship months ago Naruto. I was the one still _trying_ , so don't give me that shit _._ "

Naruto looked at him, clearly wondering what Sasuke was talking about but Sasuke would be _damned_ if he told Naruto about the times he _had_ tried and Naruto had brushed it off or hadn't been there. It would only make him look more pathetic about just how much Naruto had managed to blindside him with this. Which was something Sasuke would cut off his left arm before doing. So instead, he leaned back on the counter, a mocking sneer on his lips.

"So what's the plan now, Naruto? Was all that shit you told me about me being the only one who really understood you just a lie?"

Naruto swallowed harshly. "No it wasn't a _lie._ But that's the whole point, Sasuke. I was dating _you,_ not your paycheck. But if you're never around, then I can't really do that. I want an actual boyfriend, not just help with the rent!"

"You really think you're going to find someone better?" Sasuke knew his words would piss Naruto off, and he wasn't surprised at Naruto's response.

"Better on paper? Probably not. But let's face it, Sasuke. We've only had sex once in like... three months. You're never home. And when you are, you're either working or too tired to do anything."

"There's more to a relationship than just sex. Except, evidently, for the past few months of ours, according to you."

"Yes. There is. Or at least there's supposed to be! But we don't have any of that either. You never talk to me. You keep your cell phone on even over the weekends for work, but you turn it off when you're there so I can't even get in touch with you when there's an _emergency!_ It's pretty clear where your priorities are, Sasuke, and it sure as fuck isn't with me. Honestly, that's a pretty low bar in terms of finding a better boyfriend. I want an actual relationship. Not whatever the hell it is that we have anymore."

Sasuke felt a bitter anger at Naruto's words. If Naruto wanted to find someone else, then fuck him. Sasuke walked over to the kitchen, opening the cupboard and pulling out a bottle of Jameson. He was done.

"Fine. You want out? Then get the fuck out. No one's stopping you, Uzumaki."

Sasuke poured himself a drink, ignoring the way his hand shook.

"Sasuke -," Naruto's voice broke, but Sasuke didn't turn to look.

"I assume you already called _Kiba_. Like always, I'm sure he knew before I did. Too bad for you he's not gay."

Sasuke heard the sharp, angry intake of breath behind him and felt a surge of bitter pleasure in it.

"You are _such_ a bastard." Naruto's low voice was almost a growl, and for once, the word held not a trace of affection.

Sasuke didn't bother to reply. There was _nothing_ left to say. He heard Naruto get up, followed by a rustling sound that he assumed was Naruto putting his laptop in his bag. He could hear Naruto's harsh, shuddering breathing, but all Sasuke felt was cold. He took a sip from his glass, looking over at the light above the sink as he heard the zipper of Naruto's jacket. He could feel Naruto's eyes on him, but he had no desire to turn and meet that gaze again.

After a moment, he finally heard the soft click of the door closing.

Sasuke turned to look at the room, then. And finally realized what was missing. All of Naruto's camera equipment had already been packed up, before Sasuke had even gotten home.

There had never been a chance at solving this. Naruto had decided before Sasuke had even walked in the door.

Sasuke slammed his glass down on the kitchen counter, feeling it shatter beneath his hand, the shards of the glass piercing his flesh. He watched emotionlessly as the drops of blood from his hand blended in with the amber droplets of the liquid the glass had held. He could feel the alcohol burning the cuts, but he barely registered it.

* * *

 _to be continued…_

A/N: So… we all know that our boys do NOT fight nice with each other. Yeah. And now hopefully it is clear why there will be SasuNeji and Naruto x Gaara for a little bit until they cool down and start thinking about what really happened and… all that. It will take a while. I will be doing time-skips, since this is a story focusing on Naruto x Sasuke and I will only add things in the other pairings as necessary to show their character development.

I heard Rob Thomas's song "Lonely no More" on the radio and I have decided that is Naruto's theme song in this fic. And Sasuke's might be "Me, myself and I" by G-Eazy.


	8. The towel

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa

 **Warning:** Angst.

 **A/N** \- *pets you all and snuggles you for the amazing readers that you are* So this chapter transitions us from the first arc of the story (the breakup arc) to the second arc of the story (regrets/learning/growth arc) which will eventually lead to the final arc (hot crazy make-up sex arc LOL). A few people have asked me about how long this story will be, and all I can say is that it will probably take twice as many chapters to get them together as it did for me to rip them apart, because I want them to end in a much more stable place than what I started them with. BUT I don't like to wallow in the angst, so there will be SasuNaru flashbacks that will hopefully keep us moving in a good direction, and we'll see how they started out and what they miss about each other and blah, blah, so it won't just be wailing and moaning (cuz like… who wants to read that? LOL Plus it would be OOC for both of them).

Hugs to Tandy Hard for reading this over!

 **Chapter 8: Just a towel**

* * *

Naruto honestly couldn't even remember walking down to his car or driving to Kiba's house. He sat in the driveway, staring blankly at the bright circles that his headlights made against Kiba's garage door.

The sound of someone tapping on his window startled him, and looked up to see Kiba standing outside his car door, looking worried. Whatever Kiba had said had been drowned out by the sound of the engine. Naruto turned the key in the ignition - shutting off the engine - and the abrupt silence made him feel slightly disoriented. Kiba opened the door, his eyes quickly scanning the suitcase and bags of camera equipment before settling back on Naruto's face, noting the slightly puffy red-rimmed eyes.

"I… broke up with him," Naruto stated numbly. He made no move to get out of the car, his hands still resting on the steering wheel.

Kiba sighed, reaching over an undoing Naruto's seat-belt and pulling him out of the car. "Let's get you inside. You look like hell. You got any equipment that's worth enough to steal in there?"

Naruto snapped out of his stupor enough to register the question and nodded. They spent the next few minutes unloading the car in silence. Kiba kept a careful eye on his friend, trying to assess how bad of shape Naruto was in. He looked down at the bag of expensive lenses that Naruto had pulled out, noting that everything seemed to have been carefully packed and in good condition.

"Damn, I would have thought half this shit would have been in pieces the day you walked out on Uchiha," Kiba said, half to himself.

Naruto tried to chuckle but it didn't work. He could understand Kiba's surprise. His and Sasuke's blowouts in the past had been legendary. Their make-ups even more-so. But this had been… different.

Permanent.

Naruto felt queasy at the thought as they walked the last two bags into the house. He looked over at Kiba, then glanced at the bags they'd stacked in Kiba's living room. "I… I packed this stuff up before Sasuke got home."

Kiba's eyebrows rose, but he didn't say anything as he set his box down carefully in the corner. The look on Kiba's face made Naruto shift uncomfortably, and Sasuke's words from earlier that evening echoed in Naruto's head, harsh and accusing.

 _"So you just decided this?_ _All on your own_ …"

Naruto bit his lip. He hadn't had a choice. He tried talking before, and it hadn't worked.

" _Six years, and we're not even going to discuss it?"_

The look that had been in Sasuke's eyes made him flinch. He didn't want to really deal with the dark emotions he'd seen there, nor the depth of them. Nothing had made sense. Why did Sasuke seem so hurt when he'd done nothing but drift away from him for years? But rationalizing it didn't take away the guilt that twisted through Naruto's gut.

"You ok?" Kiba asked, snapping Naruto's thoughts back to the present.

"Sasuke was… really upset," Naruto's voice sounded almost bewildered as he sat down on the couch, but there was no mistaking the heavy guilt that laced through his words. His hands clenched around the camera bag that he hadn't remembered to put down.

Kiba sat down next to him, taking the bag from Naruto and putting it carefully on the floor before turning to face his distraught friend.

"Well, _yeah_. Of course he would be upset. I mean… you guys had been together for a long time."

Flashes from the fight went through Naruto's head. He kept seeing the look of shock and hurt in Sasuke's eyes when he'd realized what Naruto was saying. Then the way they'd hardened and turned so cold. In all the times Naruto had played out the fight in his head, he had never thought Sasuke would be… hurt. Angry, yes. Annoyed, sure. Hurt pride? Possibly. But not _hurt_ hurt. Not really. Not when it had seemed for so long that Sasuke just didn't give a fuck. The guilt tightened through Naruto's stomach at the fact that he might have been _wrong._

Naruto shivered. "I just… I guess I didn't think he would care that much. I thought he'd be… relieved? I had thought maybe we could still be friends again after a while, but..." Naruto trailed off, remembering the cold look in Sasuke's eyes when he'd told Naruto to get the fuck out.

Kiba gave a half-hearted laugh. "Dude, the whole ' _let's just be friends again'_ thing only works if you never really liked each other that much in the first place. For someone you were really _into_ , that shit never works."

Naruto shot Kiba a look. "I stayed friends with all my other exes."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "That's exactly my point. You didn't really care if you saw Sakura sucking face with her new boyfriend because in the end, she'd just been a friend that you'd wanted to fuck at one point. But she was still primarily a _friend_."

"That's what I'm trying to say! I dated her for two years in high school, but I was fine going back to being just friends. We both were."

Kiba let out a sigh at Naruto's obtuseness. "What I'm trying to _say_ is that what you had with Sakura wasn't on the same level with what you had with Sasuke. You were never in love with Sakura. Not even close. Sasuke was… different. You were fucking _obsessed_ with him all through college. That's not the kind of thing that can shift back into friendship when it's over. I mean… do you really want to see Sasuke when _he_ hooks up with someone else?" Kiba asked.

Naruto's stomach tightened. The mental image of Sasuke with some faceless stranger that seemed to morph between looking like Naruto and looking like Neji flashed through his mind, and he was nearly incapacitated by the surge of anger, jealousy, and hurt that washed over him.

"Yeah, see? That's the difference," Kiba said sagely, easily reading the emotions that raced across Naruto's expressive face. "This isn't the kind of relationship that you can go back to 'just friends' with. You guys were _way_ too into each other for that to ever work. If Sasuke walked in on some guy kissing you, he'd rip his arms off, friend or not."

Naruto thought back to the other night in the bar, and had to agree with Kiba.

"And the same goes for you, blondie. I remember the look you'd get in your eye back in college when someone would be trying to get in Sasuke's pants at a party. Luckily Sasuke scared them away before you had to, but you were about half a minute away from hard prison time, there. It's better that it ended this way. You had to have a clean break."

Naruto closed his eyes. The thought of Sasuke moving on with someone else felt like it was burning a hole in Naruto's gut. But of course, Sasuke would. And _should._ Naruto had broken up with him. He couldn't really expect Sasuke to be celibate for the rest of his life. Despite everything that had happened, he wanted Sasuke to be happy. To find someone who could hold his interest, even though Naruto obviously couldn't.

It killed him, though. And Kiba was right. He could never go out with a double-date with Sasuke if they were both seeing other people. He didn't want to hear about whoever Sasuke decided to move on with. And what kind of friend would he be if he couldn't do those things? Not a very good one. He took a slow breath, everything still feeling a bit surreal. All the doubts about whether he had done the right thing crashed back into him.

"So did I fuck this up? Was this a mistake?" Naruto asked the question, though - even if it had been a mistake - there was no taking it back now. Sasuke had been so furious...

Kiba looked at his friend, clearly fighting to control what he was going to say. "Were you happy with Sasuke?"

"I was," Naruto answered slowly, then continued. "In the beginning."

Kiba rolled his eyes. "Dude, in the _beginning_ , you were _disgustingly_ happy. I swear we couldn't even leave you alone for two minutes without you two going at it like rabbits. It was so fucking annoying. I thought Uchiha's dick and ass must be made of solid gold or something, but that was a long time ago. I mean have you been happy _recently._ "

"No," Naruto admitted after a slight hesitation. There was no point in lying. Kiba had been the one picking up the pieces for the past year. They both knew the score.

"Then you did the right thing." Kiba's voice held a certainty and clarity that Naruto wished he felt at the moment.

"Just that simple?" Naruto asked, giving his friend a weak smile.

"Just that simple. You're a happy guy by nature, Naruto. It takes a lot of shit to get you depressed. When we were kids I always wondered how you did it. I mean… you never talked about the stuff that happened to you, but... I knew how many times you moved. And I saw the bruises sometimes. But despite everything, you were always happy. You always bounced back. If being with Sasuke changed that, then you needed to leave. You can't let him turn you into someone you're not. So yeah… simple as that."

"Yeah," Naruto echoed after a moment, his voice lacking the conviction that Kiba's had. He leaned back on the couch. He felt so drained. He stared down at his hands, wondering why they looked so empty.

"You look wrecked. Why don't I grab you a pillow and some blankets so you can get some sleep," Kiba said. "Do you have a job tomorrow?"

Naruto blinked. With everything that had just happened, he had almost forgotten about the fact that he had gotten the job offer he'd been hoping for. He'd been going to ask Sasuke to look through the offer letter…

"Yeah," Naruto gave a half smile. "I have to go down and sign on to join Jiraiya's company."

"That's awesome! You must be totally stoked!" Kiba's smile was just a little too insistent to be fully genuine.

Naruto's smile didn't slip either. "Yeah. It's gonna be great. I'll probably be gone for a few months on this next assignment."

Kiba nodded firmly. "That's good. That's perfect. You go out there and show them all what you got. Just focus on _you_ for a while, Uzumaki. You got this."

Naruto nodded slightly, forcing himself to believe it. "Yeah. I got this."

"Damn straight," Kiba gave him a stern look that told him that there would be no wavering allowed.

Not that Naruto was planning on it. He might feel bad that he'd sprung it on Sasuke, but the end result would have been the same either way. There was really nothing Sasuke could have said at this point to make a difference. Actions always spoke louder than words, and Sasuke couldn't undo month of actions with just one conversation. Maybe Sasuke hadn't really had time to realize how much their relationship had faded, but Naruto was sure that Sasuke would be happier now that he could spend time with someone he actually had something in common with. And Naruto knew that, eventually, he would need to do the same. They would both be happy. Just not with each other.

Kiba walked over to the small closed and pulled out a pillow and a blanket, handing them to Naruto.

"Get some sleep. We'll figure this all out. You can stay here as long as you need."

"Thanks. I think when I get back from this next job I'll probably find my own place, but… I appreciate the offer."

Naruto lay down on Kiba's couch, his stomach still feeling slightly hollow and his mind hazy. It would be good to focus on work. He'd need to, anyway, given the size and scope of this next assignment.

He'd get through this. And then he'd move on.

Somehow, the thought left him feeling desolate.

* * *

Sasuke groaned slightly as the sound of his alarm going off penetrated his sleep. The pounding in his head reminded him of exactly how much he'd had to drink the night before. And why. He blinked blearily over at the alarm clock before reaching over and slamming his uninjured hand down on it to shut the annoying sound off.

He didn't need to look over at the other side of the bed to know it was empty. And had been empty all night. He squinted as the early morning light seeming to stab directly into his head. He'd forgotten to pull the curtains closed when he'd finally stumbled to bed the night before.

"Fuck," he mumbled, slowly pulling the blankets back and sitting up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. His stomach churned, and he sat completely still for a moment, breathing in slowly through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, closing his eyes until the wave of nausea had passed.

He looked down at his rumpled work clothes. He'd taken off his jacket and tie, but had fallen asleep wearing his shirt and slacks from the day before after drinking nearly half a bottle of Jameson.

Stupid.

He picked up his phone and scrolled through his messages. He tried to tell himself that he wasn't looking to see if Naruto had texted him or tried to call him. The ache in Sasuke's head throbbed, pulsing in time with the beat of his heart. He welcomed it. It kept him from looking back too clearly on the events of the previous night.

He didn't want to think about it.

Before he'd met Naruto, Sasuke had never been interested in relationships. Occasional sex was fine, but anything that even remotely approached emotional intimacy was something he'd spent his life avoiding like the plague. His one-sided affection for his parents had forced him to learn early on that the only one he could really rely on was himself. Itachi did his best to help when he could, but even he couldn't take the place of both mother and father. The last thing Sasuke had ever wanted was one more person he found himself emotionally at risk to.

When he met Naruto, the blond had almost immediately managed to get under Sasuke's skin. Naruto hadn't been intimidated by Sasuke's cold behavior or cutting criticisms, and his brutal honesty had only seemed to draw Naruto closer. In turn, Sasuke had seen straight through Naruto's easy laugh and teasing jokes and recognized them for the front that they were. Naruto managed to make everyone feel like they were his friend without ever actually opening up to any of them, but Sasuke had refused to play the game. They'd hated each other at first, constantly getting in each other's face and provoking each other until…

Sasuke shut down that line of thinking.

It was all irrelevant now, anyway. Naruto had turned out to be just like everyone else. It had simply taken Sasuke longer to realize it. He should have just stuck to his original idea and avoided relationships altogether. Like Itachi did, even though his asshole of a brother would never admit it.

The thought of Itachi had Sasuke's hands clenching. He didn't need to hear his brother say 'I told you so.' His brother might not mean to, but there had been so many times in Sasuke's life when Itachi's very existence made him feel like shit. This was simply another tally to add to that count.

Sasuke sighed as he remembered that Itachi was supposed to come by next week for dinner. He wasn't ready to face the interrogation - well-intentioned as it might be - that was guaranteed to occur when Itachi found out that Naruto had walked out. Sasuke grabbed his phone off the nightstand and glared at it. Calling Itachi was out of the question. No one knew him better than his brother, and Itachi would immediately know that something was wrong.

Instead, Sasuke decided on a simple text letting Itachi know that work would be crazy for the next couple of weeks and he wouldn't be able to do dinner. Both statements were true: work _was_ crazy. And Sasuke couldn't do dinner with Itachi. The two statements were not related, but Sasuke had never been able to outright lie to Itachi and he wouldn't start now. Shades of grey were another matter, however. He knew he'd have to deal with Itachi sooner or later, but for now, he chose later.

Sasuke forced himself to get up, then showered and dressed to get ready for work. It was slow going due to his injured hand, which only served as another reminder of everything that was wrong. He cleaned it and wrapped it with gauze, annoyed at himself for the useless show of temper the night before. He sneered at his own weakness. It would not happen again.

He looked at his reflection in the mirror, hating the hurt and loneliness he saw in his own eyes. He'd been stupid, and paid the price. He wouldn't be so pathetic as to whine about it now. In retrospect, maybe Naruto had actually done him a favor by ending it this way. He had reminded Sasuke of exactly why he should _never_ let anyone in. Itachi was bad enough. He didn't need anyone else. The raw emotions that had been twisting in him slowly became cold and still.

He had no plans to live the life of a monk, but before Naruto he'd had no problems in keeping the few sexual relationships he'd had superficial and temporary. Going forward, that was exactly what he would return to.

He would never let anyone in again.

It wasn't worth it. He would focus on work. Focus on his career.

He didn't need anything else.

By the time Sasuke left for work, he was completely in control. He didn't need anyone. He was just fine all on his own.

. . . . . . . . . . .

Sasuke arrived at work only five minutes late. His shirt and pants were perfectly pressed, his face set in its usual emotionless mask. The only thing out of place was the bandage on his hand, but the closed off expression on his face kept anyone from asking him about it.

Mostly.

"What happened to your hand?" Suigetsu asked as soon as Sasuke walked into the team room. Neji's gaze went to the bandage on Sasuke's hand, and his eyebrows furrowed slightly in concern.

Sasuke looked at Suigetsu for a moment, then set down his bag and took out his laptop. "We're going to be moving into the third phase of the project and we need to discuss team configuration," Sasuke stated, ignoring the question.

Suigetsu opened his mouth to push harder, but Neji cut him off. "Suigetsu. Let's focus on the project." He turned to Sasuke. "I heard the call with the industry analyst went well. Congratulations. There's already a lot of buzz about it in the market."

Sasuke paused. With everything that had happened with Naruto the night before, he had honestly forgotten that he'd had probably the most important exposure opportunity in his entire career the night before.

"Thanks," Sasuke murmured, the praise in dissonance with his current mindset.

Just then, the CEO's Chief of Staff popped her head into the room. "Sasuke, the CEO wants to meet with you today to discuss doing a follow-up call with a group of tech analysts and bloggers later this week. He'd like you to take it. Are you available to meet him for lunch today?"

A day ago, Sasuke would have been elated at the thought of running a call like this, something that usually someone only with a decade more experience would be asked to do. Instead, he simply nodded.

"Hn."

The woman returned his nod. "Excellent. Come to his office at noon."

She left as briskly as she had arrived, leaving the rest of the team room looking wide-eyed at Sasuke.

"Oh my god, _Sasuke!_ " Karin said excitedly. "This is amazing! Aren't you excited?"

The others in the room piled on with their congratulations and excited speculation about what this would mean for Sasuke's career and the surety of an early promotion for him. Neji was the only one who remained silent, pale eyes watching Sasuke with the lingering hint of concern. Sasuke let their words wash over him, the numbness he felt not abating. He didn't want to think about why the idea of getting promoted early and suddenly having more control over his hours felt hollow now.

"Holy shit, I was freaking out when we couldn't reach you yesterday!" Karin laughed.

"Seriously the whole team was wondering if you and Neji had run off to some love motel for a quickie when neither of you answered your cells. We couldn't find you at any of the usual places," Suigetsu added.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "Neji was tired of eating at the same place for the sixtieth time. We were talking about staffing for the next phase of the project."

Karin shrugged blithely, not noticing the tense posture in Sasuke's frame. "Hey, I almost forgot. Who was the guy who answered the phone when I called last night? Is he your _boyfriend_?" Karin waggled her eyebrows suggestively.

Sasuke's jaw clenched, and he subconsciously flexed the fingers on his injured hand.

"No. He's not my boyfriend. Now if the gossip session is done, we have actual work to get done," Sasuke's voice was hard and cold and Karin's eyes widened slightly. Sasuke never liked to engage in any sort of discussions about his personal life, but this seemed different.

"Sure... sorry. I was just -" Karin began, feeling like she had crossed a line without realizing it.

"It's fine. Let's just get started," Sasuke said tersely. He looked up to find Neji's eyes on him, but he didn't respond to the questioning look in the pale eyes as they started working.

* * *

Naruto looked down at the set of documents that Jiraiya handed him, his mind barely unable to process how much his life was changing in the course of twenty-four hours. His long-term relationship was over, and his career was taking off beyond his wildest expectations. He felt like his whole existence had been abruptly upended and he didn't even know which way was up anymore.

"These are the visa applications that you'll need. I know the ambassadors personally, so you should be able to get most of these cleared within a day. I've already put in the calls. You're on the next train to Tokyo. Hope you've got enough space in your passport, kid. You're gonna need it. Get these done, then pack your bags. Your flight leaves in two days."

Naruto looked at the list of countries that he would be seeing. Belize. Nepal. Samoa. Bhutan. Syria. Chile. Angola.

 _Holy shit._

Naruto felt a spike of adrenaline spear through him, followed almost immediately by a flood of anxiety. This trip must be costing Jiraiya a small fortune. Why was he taking a risk on a relatively unknown photographer? What if Naruto didn't deliver what the man needed?

 _Stop worrying. Just don't fuck up._ Sasuke's voice echoed through Naruto's head. It steadied him, even though it saddened him, too. Sasuke was one of the most driven, brutally honest people Naruto had ever met. And Sasuke had never once thought Naruto would fail at what he did. If anything, Sasuke had been annoyed that Naruto hadn't pushed harder. Naruto was finally living up to Sasuke's expectations. Maybe he was doing so too late, but the thought still gave him confidence.

Jiraiya seemed to have sensed Naruto's anxiety over the scale of the project.

"The trip was already set up. The other photographer who was supposed to do it broke his leg and we can't delay to wait for it to heal. You have a good eye. You ready for the big time?"

Naruto took a deep breath, then grinned. "Yeah. I'm ready."

"Then get your ass moving. And send me back some killer photos that I can use. I don't want to pay for any re-shoots if you choke."

Naruto nodded and folded the paper with the list of embassies he had to go to, putting it in his jacket pocket along with the visa application forms and his passport. He had to get a visa for Angola, Bhutan, and Syria, but the rest he either didn't need a visa or could get one on arrival.

He jogged down the steps from Jiraiya's house and got in his car. He could make the next bullet train to Tokyo if he hurried.

As he drove, he thought about how he'd left things with Sasuke. He had hoped that they'd be able to end things amicably enough to be able to be friends again someday but… that didn't seem likely now. He sighed, torn about the fact that he still had stuff in their old apartment.

There really wasn't much to pack. They'd moved out of the dorms when they'd gotten the apartment together, so they hadn't had time to really accumulate much stuff. The furniture was minimal, much of it purchased as a housewarming/graduation gift from Itachi. Sasuke's brother had tried to make up for the fact that Sasuke's parents had bought Itachi a car when he'd graduated college, but had only showed up briefly for the ceremony for Sasuke. Naruto would never take any of those items. They were Sasuke's. Most of what Naruto had left were his own clothes and a few dishes. The majority of his money had always gone to his camera equipment, which he'd already moved out.

Part of him wanted to keep his things there… an irrational desire to have at least one small thread left to Sasuke. But that wasn't fair to either of them. Kiba had been right. They needed a clean break. Naruto would never be able to fully wish Sasuke well in a new relationship, because he knew that he would never really get over Sasuke. He doubted very much that the feeling was mutual, but he wasn't willing to be a shitty 'dog-in-the-manger' kind of friend, either. Sasuke deserved better than that. And so did Naruto.

He pulled into the station, just barely making the train to Tokyo.

* * *

Naruto had made it back to his and Sasuke's apartment by early evening, Jiraiya's connections having easily paved the way for his visas to be processed. He wondered how the man had managed that, but when he'd called Jiraiya to tell him he was ready and had asked him about it, the older man had just laughed. All that was left for Naruto to do before he left was to go and finish packing up his things. If he didn't do it within the next day, it would be months before he was back in Japan again.

And there was no point in delaying it, even though he was dreading it.

Sasuke wasn't home when he arrived, and Naruto wasn't sure if he felt disappointed or relieved. He wasn't really sure what he'd even say to Sasuke if he saw him again so soon after their fight. Their last conversation hadn't left much room for further discussion. But still, something in Naruto just wanted to see Sasuke one last time. Maybe to assure himself it really was over... or that Sasuke was ok. But it looked like it wasn't going to be before he left.

Naruto hadn't unpacked his stuff at Kiba's yet, so he didn't have any more boxes or suitcases to put his remaining things in. Instead, he grabbed a couple of garbage bags from the kitchen and started stuffing his remaining clothes in, taking the ones from the dirty clothes hamper as well.

He packed the framed photos that he'd hung on the walls, pictures he'd taken through the years. Most of his text books he'd had to sell back to the bookstore to have the money to buy the books for the next semester, but the few books he had were quickly packed as well. He brought the bags down, shoving them in the back seat of his car. He felt numb, just going through the motions, trying not to think about the reality of what he was doing. Trying not to wonder what Sasuke would feel coming home and seeing Naruto's stuff gone.

In the kitchen, Naruto took the few dishes and pots that were his, wrapping some of his clean T-shirts around them for padding before shoving them into another plastic bag. The overhead light caught on a glittering fragment on the counter, and Naruto picked it up, realizing it was a small shard of glass. He opened the garbage to throw it away and saw a broken glass in the bin. Usually when either of them accidentally broke a glass, Sasuke was fastidious about making sure all the pieces were cleaned up so they didn't end up stepping on it later. Naruto grabbed a paper towel, wetting it slightly before cleaning the countertop and nearby floor, surprised when he found several more small shards.

It made him slightly uneasy, though he didn't really know why.

Scanning the apartment, he realized that he'd collected pretty much all of his belongings except for his toiletries.

He slowly walked to the bathroom, packing his few remaining things up. He paused when he came to his slightly-worn, orange towel straightened neatly on the metal bar. His throat closed up as his fingers brushed lightly along the fabric that Sasuke had straightened.

Naruto's hand stilled, somehow unable to pick the towel up and pack it away. It felt like a final thread, one that - once broken - could never be repaired.

The sound of a key turning in the lock had him turning toward the bathroom door, his whole body tightening in anxiety about what was going to happen.

Naruto stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway to see Sasuke looking down at where Naruto's shoes rested by the doorway near one remaining garbage bag full of Naruto's stuff.

Sasuke's face was cold and expressionless as he looked up when Naruto entered the living room. There was no sign of any of the turmoil that Naruto knew was written all over his own face.

"Hey," Naruto said awkwardly.

The sound seemed to unfreeze Sasuke, and he finished removing his shoes.

"Hey," Sasuke replied, his voice cool and impersonal.

He hadn't been sure what to expect in a run-in with Sasuke, but cold aloofness wasn't it. Somehow, it hurt more than any hate filled words that Sasuke could have thrown at him. Naruto's glance fell to the bandage around Sasuke's hand.

"Are you ok?" he stepped forward his hand moving automatically to reach for Sasuke's to check him, but Sasuke stepped back, jerking his hand away from Naruto's reach.

"Don't touch me," Sasuke's voice was like a blade, and the words cut deep, freezing Naruto in his place. It was hard to accept the fact that Naruto no longer had the right to touch Sasuke. Was no longer allowed to. Sasuke had never been one to accept the casual touch of strangers, or even acquaintances.

But it hurt.

"Right. Sorry. I just…" Naruto bit his lip, stepping back. His eyes locked with Sasuke's and the anger that he saw in the dark gaze pinned him in place for a moment. But then Sasuke blinked, and his face was expressionless again. Somehow, Naruto had preferred the anger.

Naruto raked his hand through his hair, unsure what to do or say as the awkward, frigid silence stretched while the two former lovers watched each other. "I- I've got my stuff packed up," Naruto gestured half-heartedly toward the bag by the door.

Sasuke glanced over at it, then shrugged, walking to the kitchen. Without looking back again at Naruto, he took out a cutting board and a knife setting them on the counter.

Naruto shifted. All his things were packed. Their relationship was over, and it was clear Sasuke didn't want him here. Naruto no longer had a reason to stay, but he couldn't quite make himself walk out the door.

Feeling Naruto's gaze on him, Sasuke finally looked up. Their gaze locked for a minute, and Naruto wasn't sure he was even breathing. Eventually, Sasuke spoke.

"You're moving in with Kiba?" The low, rich voice that Naruto had always loved held no warmth at all. Just a cool, detached curiosity. As though it were of no importance to him.

And somehow, it made it easier for Naruto to walk over to his final bag and pick it up. It was over.

"No, just putting it in storage. I'll be out of the country for a few months on my new assignment so…"

Sasuke walked over to the fridge and took out some vegetables. "Congratulations."

The sneer in Sasuke's voice wasn't hard to hear, and Naruto winced at it.

"Look, Sasuke I-"

"Don't," Sasuke's voice cracked like a whip. "Just _don't,_ Naruto. You made your choice. Don't try to sugar-coat it now."

Naruto swallowed at the bitterness in Sasuke's voice. This was not how he had wanted it to end. But there was no changing it at this point.

"Sasuke, I- I'm sorry," Naruto's voice was quiet. Earnest.

Sasuke didn't look up from where he was cutting vegetables on the counter. Naruto watched him in helpless silence for a several moments before sighing. There was nothing left to say. He pulled the apartment key off his key ring, setting it on the kitchen table, then picked up the last of his bags and opened the door.

"Goodbye, Sasuke," he said softly waiting for a response that he knew wasn't going to come. His eyes were blurry when he finally stepped out into the hall, closing the door behind him.

Sasuke didn't look up until he heard the door latch. Not bothering to pretend anymore, Sasuke set the knife down on the counter, amazed that he hadn't cut himself. His hands were shaking so hard. He squeezed his eyes shut against the burn.

"Good luck," Sasuke whispered softly to the closed door, ignoring the wetness on his lashes.

He walked slowly through the apartment, noting the empty spaces in the closet where clothes had been removed… the blank spaces on the wall where photos had been taken down. Every piece of Naruto had been removed.

There was nothing left behind.

Sasuke walked into the bathroom. Naruto's toothbrush and shampoo were gone, but the orange towel still lay perfectly on the bar where Sasuke had straightened it the morning before. Sasuke's hand fisted as he moved forward intending to throw the towel into the trash.

But later that night, when he finally went to bed, the orange towel lay undisturbed on the rack where Naruto had left it.

* * *

 _to be continued…_

 **A/N:** Next chapter will involve a time skip… I am still trying to determine how far ahead to fast forward but it will be several months I think. I also need to decide if I am going to alternate between Naruto and Sasuke's stories, or do Sasuke's first, then Naruto's. I need to play with it a bit and see which has a better flow.


	9. Life goes on

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **Warnings** : Implied het sex (NO LEMON)

 **A/N** \- This chapter covers the first four months after the break-up. I had it written almost 4 days ago, but I have been so tired from work kicking my ass that I didn't trust my proof-reading abilities so it took some time to get it 'final'.

 **Also…** having written one break-up/make-up fic before, I know that this is the part of the story that people will be coming after me with pitchforks sharpened and torches burning. All I can say is I WARNED YOU THEY WOULD HAVE SEX WITH OTHER PEOPLE. So. You are contractually not allowed to kill me. LOL. Thanks to Tandy for reading through parts of this to sanity check me.

 **Chapter 9 - Life goes on**

* * *

Sasuke closed the door to his office behind him before taking of his suit jacket and laying it over the back of his chair. It was the second presentation to the Board of Directors that he'd made in the past two months. This one had gone significantly better than the first, largely because his boss, Kabuto, hadn't been invited this time. There would be fallout from that, but the meeting had certainly gone more smoothly this time without his boss actively trying to throw him under the bus at every turn. Not like the first board meeting he'd gotten pulled into a month ago.

* * *

 _Sasuke's phone buzzed. Neji glanced over at him, but Sasuke had refused to follow the 'no phone' rule after all the fall-out of the last time he'd done it. Neji hadn't pushed it, and simply arched a brow in enquiry as to the nature of the text._

 _"_ _Kabuto's asking me about some of the specs," Sasuke murmured as he quickly punched out a terse reply. Kabuto hadn't been doing shit for the project for months, now he was pinging Sasuke endlessly with questions about it._

 _A few minutes later, Sasuke's phone buzzed again and frowned slightly in annoyance. More questions from Kabuto, but this time about the other products in the market. Kabuto was competent, but he was a political climber who spent more time on his machinations to curry favor with the CEO, Orochimaru._

 _After the third time Sasuke's phone buzzed, Neji was rolling his eyes. "Kabuto should have just have had you come with him."_

 _Sasuke snorted. "What, and share the limelight? He was pissed enough that I got asked to do the analyst call."_

 _"_ _Hm," Neji murmured, the dry tone of his voice conveying exactly what he thought of Sasuke's boss._

 _The door opened, and the CEO's chief of staff scurried in, looking flustered. "Sasuke, can you come with me to the Board room right now?"_

 _Sasuke glanced down at his suddenly silent phone, then arched a brow at the chief of staff._

 _"_ _Orochimaru has asked that you join the Board meeting."_

 _Sasuke stood, knowing that Kabuto was going to be jealous as fuck that Sasuke was being sent in to handle the questions on the project, but Sasuke just mentally shrugged. It was Kabuto's own fault for not keeping up. He picked up his jacket from the back of his chair, wishing he hadn't left his tie in his office. The team room was pretty informal, especially with the long hours they pulled. But the Board room was a whole different thing. There would be no time for him to go pick up his tie, though, judging by the way the chief of staff was already heading towards the door. He pulled his jacket on and was surprised to see Neji quickly removing his own tie, then holding it out to him._

 _"_ _Here. You can tie it on the way." Neji's face was impassive, handing Sasuke his tie as though it was a normal occurrence for them to exchange clothing._

 _Neji's tie probably cost more than Sasuke's entire suit, but Sasuke just nodded in thanks as the Chief of Staff hurried them down to the board room._

 _-x-x-x-x_

 _Sasuke returned to the team room over an hour later, looking calm, as though he hadn't spent the last hour getting grilled by the CEO and the board with absolutely no prep time._

 _"_ _Everything ok?" Juugo asked, looking Sasuke over as though checking for physical injury. The Orochimaru had a reputation for chewing people up and spitting them out if they came to the Board meetings unprepared. Of course, there was no way for Sasuke to have prepared when he literally had thirty seconds warning about the whole thing._

 _Sasuke shrugged as though this were something that happened every day. "Kabuto's pissed, but the meeting went fine."_

 _Juugo, Suigetsu, and Karin exchanged glances. "Why is Kabuto pissed?" Karin asked, her voice carrying an edge of concern. Kabuto could get pretty dirty if he didn't like someone. He was good at working the political angles behind the scenes. If he was your supporter, he could make you look good. If he wasn't… well. He'd been the cause of more than one person's abrupt departure from the company._

 _"_ _The board didn't like the growth projection models that finance had pulled together. They wanted to look at the top ten products and get a bottom-up view of what their targets should really look like. Kabuto couldn't answer their questions."_

 _The room was quiet for a moment. "But… we haven't made any growth projections yet. That wasn't due until next month," Lee said nervously._

 _Sasuke shrugged again. "I did a back-of-the-envelope one in the room. It seemed sufficient."_

 _"_ _But those models take weeks to develop and check all the contingencies…" Hanabi started, but Neji cut her off._

 _"_ _And Kabuto had hoped that Sasuke would fall on his face since he wasn't told he'd need to have thought it through. He's still annoyed that you're getting so much attention for being the 'genius' behind the design."_

 _Sasuke's face remained neutral, but his eyes flashed with amusement. "Probably."_

 _Neji chuckled. "So instead, you just went in there and blew them away, while making Kabuto look like an ass."_

 _Suigetsu blinked then started laughing hysterically. "Shit! And you just stand there acting like it was no big deal. Damn, you must be hung like a horse!"_

 _Sasuke just arched an eyebrow._

 _Karin shoved her hand into Suigetsu's face. "Stop thinking about the size of your boss's dick, you idiot."_

 _Suigetsu pulled her hand away. "Take your own advice, bitch." He waggled his eyebrows at her, grinning suggestively and sliding a glance at Sasuke._

 _Sasuke and Neji exchanged a look, both hoping that HR didn't walk by just then._

* * *

Kabuto had reached his position by being intensely political, and it was a big risk to get on his bad side. But honestly, Sasuke didn't give a fuck. If Kabuto wanted to take a shot at him, so be it. Sasuke wouldn't suck his dick just to avoid a confrontation. Sasuke wasn't trying to make any enemies, but he also didn't feel any need to make friends. Sasuke knew how the game of politics worked, and Kabuto could bluster all he wanted to, but the fact was that Sasuke had already won the minute Sasuke had been able to answer the CEO's questions when Kabuto couldn't. You could only undermine someone if you could outsmart them.

Sasuke wasn't afraid of Kabuto.

Once this project was over, Sasuke would have his pick of business units to work in, anyway. He already had two other division heads trying to get him to transfer over to their areas. One had even tried to bribe him with an 'unofficial' company car, but Sasuke knew better than to do something stupid like that. He was leading the highest profile project in the company, and if he walked away before the end, it would only go against him.

Sasuke had been told he was going to be promoted within three months, when the project ended. HR was already setting it in motion, even though it was off-cycle. He had just finished undoing his tie when there was a quick tap on his door and Neji walked in.

"I hear you blew them away, as usual," Neji said, leaning back against the doorframe, his eyes amused and pleased.

"Hn," Sasuke let a small smirk show as he pulled his tie free from his collar before tossing it atop his jacket. Neji's eyes followed the movement before shifting back to Sasuke's throat, where he was undoing the top button of the shirt he was wearing. It had been a long day, and all Sasuke wanted was to go home, have a stiff drink, a hot shower, and go to bed.

"We should go out and celebrate," Neji's eyes drifted back to Sasuke's face, the pale eyes remaining cool and professional.

Sasuke resisted the urge to rub his temples. It had been a fucking long day. _A long fucking two months,_ Sasuke thought bitterly, but he cut that thought off as soon as it appeared. He'd thrown himself into work when Naruto had walked out. There was no point in trying to get out of extra meetings or avoid getting pulled in to consult with other teams on their projects anymore. No point in fighting with HR to get more resources added to the team when the project had taken off faster than expected. Work was something Sasuke was good at. He was in control and knew what he was doing. When he was home alone in their apartment… it made him think about things he didn't want to deal with.

Like the fact that Naruto had not tried to contact him in any way since he'd walked out. Sasuke would not admit that he'd found himself staring at the contacts on his phone, wanting to push the one marked 'Idiot'. But he wouldn't. Naruto had been the one to walk out. He hadn't even wanted to discuss it. What would calling Naruto accomplish? Nothing. It was over, and Naruto had been the one to end it. Evidently, there was nothing left to say.

Sasuke's jaw clenched.

"I'm not up for more work tonight, Neji." Sasuke opened his bag and slid his laptop inside.

Neji levered himself away from the door, the amused look back. "By 'celebrate' I didn't mean 'work more', Sasuke."

Sasuke paused, looking at Neji assessingly. They'd only ever gone out to eat to discuss work or for 'team building' activities. "Is the rest of the team coming?"

Neji tilted his head to the side slightly, as though considering something. "It's Friday, and they knew you'd be in with the Board for a while."

Sasuke nodded. Suigetsu would have been the first one out the door.

Neji shifted slightly. "I was told I will be promoted at the end of the month."

Sasuke looked more closely at Neji's expression. The promotion certainly wasn't a surprise. Neji was getting just as much attention at his company as Sasuke was here. But Neji's eyes looked more bitter than happy.

"Congratulations. You definitely earned it," Sasuke stated truthfully.

Neji gave a small, rueful smile. "I called my uncle to inform him. He said he had hoped I would have accomplished it sooner, but at least it had finally occurred."

The trace of hollow bitterness in Neji's voice was one that Sasuke could completely recognize. How many times had he felt the same after talking to his own parents? Sasuke hadn't even bothered to call to tell them anything in the past six months. All Fugaku and Mikoto would do would be to change the subject to talk about what Itachi had accomplished when he was Sasuke's age. As though every event in Sasuke's life was simply a cue card for them to remember a much better event from Itachi's. In the past, Naruto had been the one who had celebrated with Sasuke, but Naruto was gone and showed no sign of wanting to keep any sort of contact. And Sasuke had been dodging the increasingly pointed emails and voicemails from Itachi, not ready to answer the questions he knew his brother would ask him when he found out that Naruto had walked.

Neji had been watching as Sasuke processed his statement. Neither man spoke further, but something in the expression in Neji's face made Sasuke realize that Neji probably had some sense of what Sasuke felt, and possibly some clues as to why.

They were both the same. Driven, seeking approval from people they would never be able to please nor surpass.

"Then let's go celebrate. Since your promotion is going to happen before mine, dinner will be on me," Sasuke said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"Fine. But I will pay when your promotion is final," Neji returned smoothly.

Sasuke nodded tersely in agreement. It felt… good. Neji didn't ask him to talk about what had happened with Naruto. He didn't judge Sasuke's ambition or focus. Sasuke hadn't had many friends in his life, and he didn't quite consider Neji a friend yet, but it was nice to have someone he didn't have to explain himself to.

* * *

Sasuke wasn't drunk, but he was slightly buzzed when he finally made his way home from dinner with Neji. They hadn't talked about their personal lives, but even just sharing a meal and a few drinks had been… tolerable. He paused as he put the key in the lock to the door. He could hear the TV on from inside the apartment, and he felt his breath still.

 _Naruto? Was he… home?_

His heart picked up speed at the thought. His hand fumbled slightly as he unlocked the door, pushing it open, only to be confronted by the sight of Itachi cooking something on the stove while listening to the news.

Sasuke told himself that the sudden, twisting hollowness in his stomach was not disappointment. His brain quickly found the flaw in his earlier assumption. Of course it couldn't have been Naruto. Naruto had returned the key and taken his name off the lease more than two months ago. The only person other than himself who had a key to this apartment was Itachi.

It could never have been Naruto.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked tersely, removing his shoes and setting his bag down.

Itachi looked at him. Instead of the sardonic retort that Sasuke was expecting, Itachi's eyes showed… sympathy.

Sasuke stiffened. Of _course_ Itachi would have noticed the absence of Naruto's things. And of course, he would make the correct assumptions.

Itachi watched as Sasuke set his shoes in the rack and hung his jacket on the hook.

"You've been drinking?" Itachi's voice carried no judgement.

Sasuke shot him a glare, wondering how Itachi could even _tell_. Sasuke might be slightly buzzed, but nothing that would show. Of course, Itachi had always been able to see beneath his surface, no matter how hard Sasuke tried to prevent it.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke repeated.

Itachi set the ladle down, leaning back against the counter.

"You were avoiding my calls. No one is that busy, not for over a month. You only avoid me when something isn't going right." Itachi glanced over to the wall behind the couch. Naruto's photos used to hang there. It was bare now. "I've been following the news about your latest project. You've been getting quite a reputation for yourself. Congratulations."

So Itachi had known it hadn't been trouble with Sasuke's career that had kept him from returning any of his calls. That would have left either their parents or Naruto. Nothing else in Sasuke's life mattered enough for him to get upset about.

Sasuke's jaw clenched. "So you came all this way to tell me _I told you so_? Thanks. Mission accomplished. Feel free to leave any time."

He had to turn away from the pity he saw in Itachi's eyes. Why couldn't Itachi just be a huge ass for once so Sasuke could properly hate him? Why did Itachi always have to be so fucking perfect? So much better than everyone else? It was Sasuke's eternal problem with his older brother. There was no one that Sasuke loved more than Itachi. Itachi had done more for Sasuke than Sasuke could ever think of repaying. But he was also the yardstick by which Sasuke had always been measured and found to be lacking against.

"Six years is a long time," Itachi said finally. "Longer by an order of magnitude than anything I've ever managed."

Sasuke's eyes snapped over to Itachi, who gave him a slight smile.

"I'm not going to tell you what you did wrong. Like you said, it's easy for me to call the plays from the sideline when I don't have anything at stake. You tried to balance your career and your relationship. I've never even let myself try."

Sasuke felt a small amount of the emptiness inside him ease. It had been hard, losing Naruto and Itachi both at the same time. He didn't need people. He _didn't._ But to be totally alone… had felt… pointless.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?" Itachi asked.

 _No._ Sasuke shrugged. "Pretty much what you thought. We'd stopped fighting because Naruto had given up trying, not because he'd made his peace with my work hours. He reached his limit and walked out." An outsider would have detected no emotion at all in Sasuke's words.

Itachi was not an outsider.

"He hurt you." The statement was soft, but there were undercurrents that swirled beneath the softness. Itachi liked Naruto. But he was also protective of Sasuke.

Sasuke shrugged slightly. "He would probably say I hurt him first."

Itachi nodded, not disputing the truth of that statement. "But you didn't see it coming. And you are angry about it."

Sasuke walked over and looked at the food that Itachi had prepared, despite having no appetite to eat anything. "The person I thought I was dating would have fought for something important to him."

"So you think that either Naruto no longer placed importance on your relationship, or he wasn't the person you thought you knew."

Sasuke didn't bother to acknowledge the statement. He wasn't ready to talk about what it would mean if Naruto had already decided their relationship was over when they'd had sex. Or what it would mean if Sasuke had just been _wrong_ about Naruto in the first place.

Itachi watched the emotions playing out across his usually stoic little brother's face. Once again, he had been unable to protect Sasuke from something that hurt him deeply. Their parents had done so much damage. He had thought Naruto would be the one to help Sasuke finally move past it. Itachi hated it when he was wrong.

"Do you want to tell me who you were out drinking with?"

Sasuke resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Someone from work. He has… similar family issues."

Itachi arched an eyebrow inquiringly.

"It was not personal. We work together. We went out to celebrate his promotion and my Board meeting."

"Hm," Itachi said noncommittally, though he was relieved to hear it was someone from work. His little brother had always had people chasing after him. His looks alone had ensured that, but there was something about Sasuke that made people fixate on him. Obsess over him. Itachi didn't want someone trying to take advantage of Sasuke's current emotional state. But Sasuke had always drawn sharp lines between his work and personal life. He would never get involved with someone at the office.

"I'll eat, then, since you've already had dinner. I took the weekend off," Itachi dished himself some food, then sat at the kitchen table.

Sasuke tried to look annoyed, but in truth, he wasn't. It would be nice to not have to face an utterly silent apartment over the weekend. He sat down in the chair opposite his brother

Itachi seemed to relax slightly, and Sasuke wondered if Itachi thought he was going to make him leave. He was brought out of his thoughts when he felt two fingers press briefly against his forehead.

He automatically glared and rubbed his hand where Itachi's fingers had been, a response ingrained in him since childhood. He looked up to meet Itachi's gaze. There was no judgement there. Only love.

Sasuke blamed it on the alcohol he'd had earlier in the evening when he had to squeeze his eyes shut against the burn in them.

He fell asleep that night with Itachi slowly stroking his hair, like he'd done when they were children and their parents had found yet another way to make Sasuke feel invisible.

* * *

Naruto's fingers ached from the death grip they had on the armrests of his window seat in the small plane. Bhutan was the last destination on the list that Jiraiya had given him, and Naruto vaguely decided would nice if he were able to reach the ground alive. He took a deep breath to steady his nerves. He'd been warned the Paro airport was 'challenging', but the steep descent the Bhutan Airlines plane had had to make after clearing the high mountains on either side of the valley in order to make it down to the tiny runway of the country's only international airport was not something he had ever imagined. Or ever particularly wanted to experience. He had heard that there were only a handful of pilots in the world cleared to fly in and out of this airport, and now he knew why.

He wished he could just close his eyes until they were safely on the ground, but his photographer's eye insisted on viewing their approach, following the way the silvery river wound between the mountains through the verdant green of the valley, catching the sunlight as the plane banked to make the tight turn to meet the runway. Naruto tried to stay focused on the beauty of the landscape rather than the terror of the speed at which he was approaching it.

He was glad that this hadn't been his first destination, or he might have had a heart attack on the plane. Before this trip, Naruto had only ever been out of Japan once. Itachi had taken Sasuke and Naruto on a trip to London when Itachi had gotten his first vacation during his residency. Naruto had been nervous, but Sasuke and Itachi had managed the logistics of navigating the Tube, booking the hotel, choosing the food (more because they were more particular about it than Naruto was). Naruto's English was pretty decent, so there hadn't been a language issue if he'd wanted to go off anywhere on his own, though usually he was happy to explore with Sasuke and Itachi.

The trip Jiraiya had sent him on had been totally different. Naruto was totally on his own, and while he usually could find _someone_ who spoke at least a little English, between Naruto's Japanese accent and the accent of the local he was trying to communicate with, it was rough going to get anything across except the bare basics of the location he was trying to get to and the amount of money he was paying to get there.

Luckily, Jiraiya had set up the contacts in advance, so there wasn't a lot of explaining to be done as to the nature of the project. But it had been overwhelming and terrifying in the beginning. By the third country, Naruto had found his rhythm and come up with a set of rules that he would now never deviate from:

Always obtain the local currency at the airport when you land, since most banks didn't take Yen and credit cards were basically useless outside of the largest cities.

Negotiate taxi fares up front by writing the location and amount on a paper before you let the taxi driver grab your bags full of expensive camera equipment and potentially hold them hostage.

Hotel addresses were also best exchanged in written form, since vigorous nodding doesn't always actually mean the taxi driver knows where the fuck he's going.

Never try to ask what was actually _in_ the food you are eating… just eat it and enjoy it for what it was.

Always use the little tablets to purify any water you drink, even if the person _insists_ it was properly boiled.

Naruto wondered whether Sasuke would have come up with a similar list. He sighed, annoyed with himself at the thought. He had been doing that almost since he'd left four months ago. So many times, he'd catch himself wondering what Sasuke would have thought about something, whether he would have seen the same beauty or the same sadness that Naruto saw. They had always looked at things differently, but Naruto had always loved to know what was going on inside his Sasuke's complicated mind. Sasuke saw deeper than most people, and Naruto missed just talking with his boyfriend.

 _Ex_ -boyfriend, he reminded himself harshly. The expression on Sasuke's face from the night of their break-up still haunted Naruto. There would be no going back. Sasuke hadn't even looked up when Naruto had said his final goodbye.

The plane jerked as the wheels touched down and the pilot hit the levers to stand the flaps up on the wings. Naruto was glad of the distraction as he lurched forward in his seat, placing his hand on the back of the seat in front of him to keep from being thrown into it despite his seat belt as the plane quickly slowed to a near stop before taxiing to the gate.

Naruto forced his thoughts back to the matter at hand, starting with getting feeling back in his fingers. He reached under the seat in front of him to grab the bag that held his most expensive lenses. Jiraiya had told Naruto to never let them out of his sight, and Naruto had taken the man on his word.

He supposed it was a good thing that the photo shoots had been technically demanding, forcing Naruto to deal with difficult terrain, variable lighting, and challenging positioning. All under the pressure of knowing that the trip was costing a fortune and there was no budget for 'do-overs' if Jiraiya didn't like the shots.

But even the distraction of the challenging work and physical exhaustion didn't take away the gradual loneliness that seemed to be seeping into him. Naruto had never been a loner. He had always surrounded himself with people and constant communication to keep himself balanced. It was a crutch he'd developed young to fill the voice of not having a constant home and family, and until things had started going south with Sasuke, it was the model he'd stuck with. If he thought living with Sasuke had been lonely for the past year, it was nothing compared to the isolation he'd felt over the past four months. He'd been living more in his head than he ever had, and while he supposed the experience was good for him, he was ready to be with his friends again. His phone and internet access had been minimal, since most of the sites were in remote locations. And the language barrier had made it worse. Luckily, Bhutan was his last stop. After this, he would fly back to Japan and probably sleep for at least a week.

Naruto's jeans were significantly more worn than they'd been when he'd started his trip several months ago. The rugged conditions he'd been working in taking their toll on the fabric, and he'd had to pack light given that he had to carry pretty much everything he'd brought on his back.

The long hikes through harsh terrain carrying his equipment had left its mark on Naruto's body as well. The jeans now rode low on Naruto's hips, his narrow waist was toned hard and flat. Judging by the ache in his arms and back, along with the way his t-shirts seemed to stretch more tightly across his chest, he didn't have to worry that he hadn't been to a gym since he'd left Japan. Naruto had always taken pride in staying fit, but his body was harder and leaner than it had ever been.

But he was tired, both physically and mentally.

He cleared immigration and got his bags loaded into the taxi. The ride took less time than he'd expected, and he found himself walking into the Cultural Ministry building almost an hour early. He didn't mind the wait, though. He considered trying to find a place to grab some food while he waited for the contact that Jiraiya had arranged for him to meet. He never wanted to see airplane or hotel food again, if he could help it. The same went for trail food.

He refused to admit that he'd actually begun to dream of ramen. He wondered if Bhutanese cuisine had anything similar. He was at least in the right hemisphere to give it a shot.

Naruto checked in with the officer at the main desk, showed his passport and documentation, and was surprised when a friendly female voice greeted him from behind in his own language with a slight accent.

"I am looking for Uzumaki-san?" Naruto turned to see a petite, young woman dressed in a navy blue skirt and blouse, with mint green highlights in her black hair. Naruto felt a wave of both relief and homesickness at the sound of his own language spoken. He knew it was ridiculous, but he felt an almost instant bond with her for the sole reason that she was the first person he'd spoken with in person who knew Japanese since he left Japan.

"Yes, that's me! I'm supposed to be meeting…" Naruto pulled out the piece of paper, trying to find the name of the person Jiraiya had told him to meet.

The woman gave a soft chuckle, her amber eyes lighting with humor. "Fuu. That would be me."

Naruto blinked. All of the locations he'd had to shoot had been intensely physically challenging to even _get_ there. So far, all of his contacts had been male. His understanding of the remote, mountain temple that he was supposed to shoot was that it was possibly the most difficult location of them all. It was slated last in his itinerary in case he got injured. And his guide… was a woman whose head barely reached his shoulders.

Fuu arched an eyebrow at him daring him to voice any doubt in her abilities, her eyes filled with intelligence and challenge. He blinked, then gave her a lopsided grin.

"Awesome! When do we head out?"

Her posture relaxed slightly, and Naruto realized that she had been unsure he would accept her as a guide. He realized he was likely not the first person to assume his guide would be a male. "My Jeep is out front. We'll drive to the base camp of the mountain, then hike up. Do you have gear?"

Naruto nodded, gesturing to the two packs he'd brought in, the third still slung on his back. The young woman nodded, then hefted one of the bags up, slinging it over her shoulder with ease, despite the fact that Naruto was fairly sure the bag weighed more than she did.

* * *

There was a small building at the base of the mountain where they would be able to leave any gear that would not be specifically required on the climb. There were bamboo pallets for sleeping if the weather delayed their climb. It was referred to as a cabin, but to Naruto it looked more like a small shed.

"My bag is already packed," Fuu said. "Get your gear sorted. I can lock the cabin to hold anything you don't need for the climb. While you do that, I'll go check the base trail to see if other hikers or pilgrims have been here recently that could give us info on the state of the trail further up-mountain."

Naruto nodded as she left, quickly unzipping his backpack and two duffel bags. This was going to be a difficult climb. Sure, it wasn't like they were going after Mt. Everest, but pretty much anything in the Himalayas was no joke. He needed to pack only the essentials. Water purifying filter. Insulating layers that would be required as they went higher. His three favorite lenses. Tripod. Camera and battery pack. Dried food packs that could be reconstituted on the way. It would be two days up and two days back. Depending on the weather, it could be three days for the actual shoot.

Naruto had done some rock climbing for fun in the past, but he was nervous about how technical this climb would be. It would depend on how eroded the original trail was. They might not need any serious climbing gear at all. But either way, the hike alone would be brutal at these altitudes. He couldn't help the spike of excitement that went through him at the thought. He loved the physical challenge of this kind of work. As long as he didn't fuck it up and get all the camera equipment smashed. Or himself.

Naruto finished packing and realized he still needed to change. He assumed Fuu was doing the same. He pulled off his cotton shirt and dug through his pack, changing into a pair of rugged climbing pants, unzipping the vents in the lower part of the leg so they wouldn't be too hot when they began their trek. It was still warm enough at the base that he didn't want to put on a long sleeved base layer, but he was having trouble finding his short-sleeved climbing shirt.

He was rummaging through his suitcase, still shirtless, when he heard the door open behind him.

"Oh, excuse me!" Fuu breathed out. Naruto jerked up and turned around, his face heating slightly when he saw her wide eyes snapping back up to his face.

"I was just having trouble finding the base layer I wanted to wear," Naruto gestured to his now thoroughly ransacked duffel bag. "I know it's in there somewhere but…" He gave her a lopsided grin, hoping that this wasn't going to be awkward, and thanking god he'd already gotten his pants on. He had been in the company of basically all men for months and he had sort of forgotten to worry too much about modesty. Fuu had already changed and looked ready to go.

"I can help you look," Fuu said calmly, walking over and crouching down by Naruto's other bag. "What does it look like?"

"Uh… white and thin with short sleeves. Slippery feeling."

"Reflective?" she asked, her small, nimble hands quickly searching through his bag in the low light of the room.

"Yeah."

It was under a minute before she found it, pulling it out of the bag she'd been searching (somehow all the clothes were still neatly folded, as opposed to the bag Naruto had been digging through which looked like it had been packed by a tornado). "Is this it?"

"Yeah, perfect. Thanks," Naruto said, taking the shirt from her and pulling it over his head. He noticed the way her gaze slid to his left shoulder.

"That looks Samoan."

Naruto's eyebrows raised. "Um... yeah, it is, actually. You know a lot about tattoos?"

"Yes, actually," she said. "I did a project on them in one of my Art and Culture classes. Would you mind if I looked at it?"

Naruto hesitated. The tattoo was new, and extended from the top of his left pectoral to wind over his shoulder and trailed in a narrow line down along his back to the base of his spine. He wasn't going to drop his pants for her to see the full effect, but she'd already seen him shirtless, so he supposed there really wasn't any harm in her seeing the top part. He tugged the shirt back off and turned around, giving her the full view of his back.

He started when he felt the cool brush of her fingers along his skin, tracing along his shoulder blade, then down the vertical line of his spine, following the tattoo. His skin broke out in goosebumps at the touch. It had been months since anyone had touched him in anything other than a handshake.

"It's recent, isn't it? It still feels new."

Naruto didn't ask how she had so much familiarity with the texture of a new tattoo.

"Yeah. I had it done just before coming here."

He could feel her studying it, her gentle fingers pausing on some areas. Naruto kept himself from flinching at the unfamiliar touch. After so many months of being with only the bare minimum of human contact, it was almost overwhelming his system to be speaking his native language with someone and having them touch his skin. Even though he knew she was just studying from an academic perspective, the effect it was having on him was slightly disorienting, and it made him feel a little nervous.

"Whoever did this for you did an excellent job of replicating the traditional symbols and tattooing style of the Samoan artists. There are only a few symbols here that are not authentic… it looks like they were working in some of the Japanese traditional symbols, which makes sense. Black koi fish for overcoming adversity. There's some kind of… feline shape. Fox?"

Naruto tried to shut out the memory of exactly what _other_ Japanese symbol was that was worked into the intricate design further down. He had been way too drunk when he'd been talking to the tattooist about his past, and the man's English had been good enough that he had followed most of it. Fuu's fingers settled on the waistband of Naruto's pants and Naruto decided it was time for 'show and tell' to be over. His body was getting ideas that it really shouldn't be from someone just academically interested in the cultural aspects of the tattoo, and his mind really wasn't ready to accept someone other than Sasuke touching him. Though he knew that was stupid. Things with Sasuke had ended months ago, with no communication on either side. It was definitely over, and he knew he'd been using this trip and all the hectic travel to prevent himself from really processing that. He stepped forward, breaking the touch and pulled on his shirt and turned to face her, noticing her cheeks were dusted slightly pink.

"Where did you have it done?" she asked, her voice calm and… soothing. Professional.

Naruto relaxed a little. He was just over-reacting. "Samoa."

Fuu's eyebrows rose in slight disbelief, and it made Naruto chuckle.

"Bhutan is actually the last stop on my trip. I had seven in total. Samoa was the one just before this, and the site that I was photographing turned out to be some sort of… cultural rite-of-passage thing where men proved their worth to the gods by hiking up to it and back. My guide spoke pretty decent English, and we sort of made friends along the way. It turned out he specialized in tribal tattoos. He asked me if I was interested in getting one done, and I decided why not?"

Fuu blinked at him. "That's… sort of amazing. That isn't a tourist-type tattoo. They gave you the real deal. Samoans are usually not very enthusiastic about having outsiders get their traditional tattoos. The symbols they've used are typically only given to important clan members… someone who has proven their worth to the tribe in a fairly material way. The one down your spine alone must have taken _hours_ if not days. It's beautiful work. Did they use modern or traditional equipment?"

"Heh. Traditional." Naruto remembered the way his eyes had widened when the man had brought out what almost looked like a shell comb with sharp points. Luckily, he'd had enough to drink at that point that he'd just lay down and let it happen.

"How many days did it take? The intricacy of the detail on the shoulder alone must have taken hours."

"He finished in three days. He did the shoulder that first night. Got me pretty wasted first so I wouldn't feel it. The spine thing he did the next day, and my pec the third day."

"And the after-care?" Fuu asked, slightly awed. Samoan tattoos were the most detailed body art you could get. But the traditional techniques were extremely painful, and required serious after-care to prevent infection.

"Yeah, I did the salt washes and oil rubs for the next three days. Then I had to fly out here. The scabbing is all done, though. I heal really fast."

Fuu just shook her head in disbelief. A tattoo like that should have taken more than twice that time to be as healed as Naruto's was. "Are you going to be ok having the pack rubbing against this?"

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah, I'm good. The guy who did it said he couldn't believe how fast it healed, but I should be fine for whatever now."

"Unbelievable," she murmured before picking up her own pack, casing one last glance at where part of the tattoo peaked out from under the short sleeve of Naruto's shirt. She bit her lip slightly, then shook her head, pulling her heavy pack onto her shoulders and fastening the strap around her slender waist. "We should go. We're losing daylight."

Naruto strapped on his pack and followed suit.

* * *

The climb had been amazing. Naruto wasn't sure if it was the sparsity of the air, or the sheer relief he felt at being able to actually communicate in his native tongue with someone who could understand him that left him feeling slightly high. They'd talked almost non-stop on the climb up the ancient, winding path. Where rockslides had taken away the path, they'd used climbing gear. It had become apparent that Fuu was an expert climber, and Naruto was more than happy to follow his lead. Jiraiya had clearly thought things through well, since the locations Naruto had been working had slowly increased in elevation, so he was able to handle the climb better than if he had tried it four months ago. But it was still physically challenging, taking his full concentration, and Naruto loved every minute of it.

The shoot itself was perfect. They had lucked out on the weather and the sky was filled with the most amazing cloud formations Naruto had ever seen along with plenty of sunlight streaming through letting him get any angle he wanted. Fuu set up camp while Naruto spent the day shooting. They had each packed a one-man tent, and Naruto was appalled to find out that she had set his up as well while he was working.

He'd decided that - just to be safe - he'd get a few more shots in at first light, then they could begin their hike down the mountain.

"How's your back doing?" Fuu asked while Naruto pulled out his pack to get his food pack. She was eating her own dried food out of a small bowl by the fire they'd lit.

Naruto rolled his shoulders, but grinned. "Sore. I'm not used to this kind of climbing, especially not at this altitude. It was awesome. I took an Advil, though, so I'll be fine in the morning. You?"

Fuu gave a soft snort. "I've been climbing these mountains since I was a girl. But you were the one carrying a news station's worth of camera equipment on your back." She looked at him for a moment, then back to her food. "I should check your tattoo. It would be a shame if it got damaged this close to being healed."

"Nah, I'm sure it's fine. Besides, it's too fucking cold to take my shirt off up here." The sun had set and the wind was kicking up. He was glad it was summer, or this trip would have been really brutal. Naruto ate his tasteless food as fast as he could so he could get into his sleeping bag.

"We'll be out of the wind inside the tents. Let's go in and I'll check it for you."

Naruto shrugged, then nodded, quickly finishing his meal. He didn't want anything to happen to it either. This whole trip had felt like a rite of passage to him in so many ways, and the tattoo embodied that. He was proud of it, and of what it represented with all its intricate detail. He knew it was an honor to have been given an authentic Samoan tattoo. He would treat it with the respect it deserved.

Naruto went into his tent and pulled off his shirt. He wondered where Fuu was, but a minute later, she opened the tent and crawled in carrying a small pack. Naruto raised an eyebrow in curiosity.

"I figured I might as well heat up some oil to rub on your back. I set it warming while you were finishing up your shoot. Even though you healed so well, you really are supposed to massage these with oil for at least a few weeks."

Naruto looked at her uncertainly. "Uh. Well… I mean… it's ok. If you want to just hand me the oil, I can probably do it."

Fuu laughed and shook her head. "Are you really that shy? You showed it to me earlier. I just figured I might as well give it a look, since you really can't see it for yourself. It's a work of art. I'm more than happy to help preserve it."

Naruto drew a breath. He was probably just being stupid. She was his _field guide_. Just because she was young and pretty didn't mean he should be reading things into it. She was just being nice, because she knew about tattoos and knew how to care for them and he needed to just get over himself already.

"Ok, yeah. Thanks." He had turned his lantern on, and the warm glow lit the small tent. There was barely room to sit up, and certainly not room to stand. Naruto lay down on his sleeping bag, keeping his mind focused on the care regimen that he'd been instructed on regarding the tattoo. "I have an extra thermos here with some salt. I've just been mixing it with some water and rinsing it."

"Hm," Fuu said as she took out a small bottle from her bag, sitting off to the side of Naruto's sleeping bag. "It looks clean. I'll just rub some oil in to keep it from scabbing or drying. It should help with your sore muscles, too."

"Oh, uh… thanks. You really didn't have to do that," Naruto said awkwardly.

"I didn't have much else to do while you were working," Fuu's voice was friendly and casual, and Naruto relaxed a bit at the sound of it. He _was_ pretty sore.

Naruto felt the warm liquid pool between his shoulder blades. Fuu's hands were surprisingly warm as well as she began to slowly and methodically work the oil into his skin. She started with his shoulder, her small hands moving over the contours of his shoulder blade. She worked up over the top of his shoulder using firm, smooth, pressure, then down along his upper arm to the edge of the tattoo. Naruto felt his eyes drift closed. She was very good at this.

Her hands slid down over the front of Naruto's chest, following where the tattoo extended to just below his collarbone. Naruto tensed as her hand began to reach beyond the borders of the tattoo, but she pulled back before he could say anything.

He began to think that this might have been a mistake. The lack of privacy in most of his sleeping situations had pretty much made taking care of his 'normal' self-service needs almost impossible. He'd been focused on work anyway, so he hadn't really given it much thought. Sex only made him think of Sasuke and how badly everything had ended, so it wasn't like he'd been exactly in the mood for company. But the feel of the warm, slick hands as they slid down the muscles of his back was reminding his body that it had been four months since he'd had sex, and it had been almost three months before _that_. Sex once in seven months was…

Fuu's thumbs dug into the ridge of muscles on either side of Naruto's spine. Naruto couldn't help the groan that escaped his lips, at least part of it from the fact that his back had been _killing_ him from the climb.

"Sore, huh? I can take care of that." Fuu's voice was soft and low.

Naruto told himself it was _not_ sexy. She was just being… helpful.

"It's hard to get leverage from this position," she said. "Would it be alright if I adjusted?"

"Sure? But, I mean, if your hands are getting tired, you can stop. I'm seriously going to be fine after a good night's sleep."

Naruto felt her shift, then she was straddling the backs of his thighs. And suddenly this was not just a 'helpful tour guide' kind of situation. He could feel the weight of her body, the heat of her thighs even through their gear. He realized with some horror that he was already half hard, his body reacting to the warm touch without any input from his brain. They weren't high enough up to require extra oxygen, but he felt like the altitude was making his head spin. His thoughts seemed to be sluggish.

"Uh, hey, I think maybe…" Naruto tried to find a nice way to tell her she had to stop now because he knew she probably didn't intend for it to come across this way. He was lonely and craving human contact and he didn't want to take advantage of her kindness or embarrass her.

Except then he felt her lean forward, her hair brushing against the warm skin of his back as her hands slid over the contours of his back, far away from where the tattoo had ended. "You think maybe…. what?"

Her voice was definitely lower than it had been earlier as her talented fingers dug into another sensitive knot in his back, causing a shiver to run through him that somehow pooled in his groin, drawing blood away from his brain. "I'm… I'm sorry, but I don't think this is a good idea."

"Really?" She queried, her fingers not slowing.

"Um… I mean… I've been in the field for like… four months now, and…" Naruto cut off as her hands slid easily under the waistband of his pants, gripping the upper half of his ass and pressing in a circular motion.

"Four months is a long time."

 _Holy shit, was she… did she just…_

Naruto's mind was stumbling through their past exchanges looking for signs he might have missed that she had been hitting on him, but he'd only seen her cool, professional interest. Except… her hands were definitely on his ass as her body brushed against his.

"Why don't you let me take care of that, too," she murmured as her lips brushed along the back of his shoulder blade.

"I… I don't…" Naruto was in too much shock to resist as she took his unmarked shoulder and rolled him over, shifting up so she was straddling his pelvis and he was having such a hard time thinking about anything except how lonely he'd been and how _good_ it felt to be with someone. Something she clearly knew, since there was absolutely no way she could misinterpret the effect her massage was having on him from her new position straddling his lap. "I don't… I don't have any…"

She smiled, reaching back into her pack and pulling out a condom. "I said. Let me take care of it."

She leaned down, her lips closing over his nipple as her hips rocked against his. Naruto hissed out a helpless sound as he arched back, feeling light-headed and totally out-of-control of his own body's responses. "O-Ok. Ok."

* * *

Naruto lay back more than an hour later, the sounds of their harsh breathing filling the small tent. Fuu had pushed his body hard, able to match his pace and stamina. Physically, it had been amazing. But he felt… empty and unfulfilled. It had been so many years since he'd slept with someone other than Sasuke. Fuu's body had been soft where Sasuke's was hard. Her eyes didn't pin him to the bed the way Sasuke's did… didn't _know_ him and _see_ him the way Sasuke did. There was nothing in this world that could compare with being under Sasuke's intense focus in bed. Naruto drew a breath, trying to get the thoughts of Sasuke out of his head. Sasuke had stopped focusing on him long before they'd broken up. He'd focused all that intensity on his job instead. Naruto had to remind himself that he'd lost Sasuke long before they'd finally broken up. This wasn't Naruto choosing to be with someone else over Sasuke. This was him choosing to not be alone.

But somehow, he felt almost more alone now than he had before they'd had sex. Fuu's eyes had hazed with passion and pleasure. But there had been nothing in her gaze beyond that.

"That was amazing. Sex at high altitude is a rush, isn't it?" Fuu's voice shook Naruto out of his thoughts.

"Yeah. This was a first for me, actually." Naruto said, hoping nothing in his expression gave away the fact that he'd been thinking of someone else while he lay naked with her. He turned his head to see Fuu pulling her pants back on with the same efficiency that she'd managed just about everything else. "Are you… going?" He was really out of practice with these sorts of things.

She smiled, though she seemed to tense at his question. "I need to go wash up before it gets any colder out there. And we have an early morning, if we're going to get the shots in you wanted and make it down to the next camp location before dark."

"Oh, right. I mean… I just thought…" Naruto stopped himself from saying something stupid.

Her gaze roved over his naked form. "I have to say, when I saw you come in, I knew I was going to enjoy being your guide." She ran her fingers over the taut muscles of his stomach, but Naruto felt no arousal at the touch. Only emptiness. This had been a mistake. "I just had no idea how much. Send me one of the pictures you took to remember you by?"

Naruto just nodded. Of course she wasn't going to want to ask to see him again. That was… that was just dumb. They'd spent two days together on a mountain, and he was _obviously_ just passing through. She hadn't been looking for anything else. He was just out of practice. He'd forgotten what sex was like when emotions weren't involved. He gave her a lopsided smile to cover what he was feeling. As usual, it worked. Sasuke had been the only one who could see through his mask.

"Yeah, sure. Send me an email, and I'll send you my favorite," he said casually, propping himself up on his elbow and reaching in his pack for one of his cards that had his e-mail and Facebook contact information. He would be surprised if she contacted him, but at least he'd made the offer.

A look of almost relief passed over her pretty face and she returned his smile. "I'd like that. Unless you'd be willing to send me a photo of your tattoo instead?"

"Um…" Naruto shifted uncomfortably, and she laughed.

"Probably not," she supplied for him, grinning. "I'll see you in the morning."

Naruto lay back on his sleeping bag. He needed to clean himself off. Given that it would be nearly three days before he could have more than a sponge bath, he figured he better get started.

He promised himself that next time he wouldn't be so stupid.

* * *

Naruto boarded his flight to Tokyo feeling weary and travel-worn, though he knew he should be celebrating. He had sent Jiraiya some of the photos and the man had been raving about them. Naruto had been given a challenging assignment, and had nailed it. He'd had experiences and seen places that most people couldn't even dream of.

But right then, all he wanted to do was go home… somewhere familiar. He closed his eyes, resting his head against the small window on the plane as the other passengers boarded. The warmth of the sun on his cheek at odds with the coldness he felt inside. He'd been putting off thinking about it, but there was really no denying it now. He was going back to Japan, but he didn't have a home to go to. He had no parents, no 'family home'. He'd moved out of Sasuke's apartment, but hadn't had time to find himself a new place. All his stuff was still stacked in Kiba's living room. Where was home now? Kiba's couch?

His friends were great, but they were all building their own lives, and eventually would start their own families. Naruto thought he had, too, with Sasuke. But that was over now. What was he going back to?

He looked out the window as the plane slowly picked up speed for take-off. Somehow, returning to Japan was bringing back all the numb emptiness he had left behind when he'd started this assignment. He missed Kiba and his other friends. He missed his favorite ramen restaurant. He missed the sound of his native language being spoken on the streets he walked. The sight of the familiar lines of the city he lived in. So many things that made up his sense of home.

But most important thing that Naruto had tied his sense of home to was no longer waiting for him, no matter what flight he took. Four months had not been enough time for him to really get over anything.

He looked through the e-mails that he hadn't bothered to respond to while he had such limited internet time. Of course, there had been nothing from Sasuke. Naruto hadn't expected any, given the way things had ended, though he had checked every time he had internet connection. He'd kept track of Sasuke, though. He'd read the press release of the call the CEO had had the night they'd broken up. Sasuke had kicked ass, evidently, because after that, there were more articles about his work in the tech journals, interviews with him on the project, speculations about what he'd do next. Naruto was glad that Sasuke was doing so well. It took the edge off his guilt to know that Sasuke had been fine… _better_ than fine since Naruto had left. He told himself it was for the best that they'd had a clean break. So he wouldn't expect any texts or emails from Sasuke anymore.

There _had_ been an e-mail from Itachi, telling him that he expected Naruto to call him when he was back in town. Naruto closed his eyes as he felt the wheels of the plane slowly lift off from the ground. He supposed if the plane crashed, it would simply save Itachi the trouble.

* * *

 _to be continued..._

 **A/N:** So… before you all kill me, I have always felt that Naruto is more physically demonstrative and affectionate and attention-seeking than Sasuke. So… if anyone is going to play around a little (in a non-predatory, non-asshole way), it would be Naruto, since he misses the companionship the most. I love to write slutty Sasuke but it is pretty OOC imo. Any future sex scenes that aren't Sasuke and Naruto together will be 'fade to black' like this. I can't write them. :-/


	10. Old and new friends

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x others

 **Warnings** : Gaara and Itachi being in the same chapter deserves some warning, right? For the hotness factor alone. Though... they aren't in the same scene, so we should all be safe LOL.

 **A/N:** Still no beta, and I'm still running on very little sleep so if you find mistakes just PM me and tell me where they are so I can fix them. Thanks to Tandy_Hard for reading through this and encouraging me!

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Old and new friends**

Naruto was glad that his hand was now habitually gripped around the strap of the shoulder bag that held his most valuable camera equipment as he deplaned, since he wasn't entirely sure if he was awake or asleep. The airport signs in his native language directed him to passport control, then down to baggage claim, which he managed to follow despite being half-asleep. He closed his eyes while he waited for the bags to arrive, listening to the sounds of his own language being spoken all around him, letting it wash over him soothingly. He was home, whatever that might mean at the moment, this was it.

The familiarity of everything put him at ease after months of constantly navigating unfamiliar countries, languages, and cultures. He was on his home turf, now, and could finally relax. He _might_ have briefly fallen asleep leaning against one of the steel pillars while he was waiting for his large duffle to make its way down the conveyor belt, but the sound of a little girl giggling (at him) woke him up in time for him to grab the heavy bag off the moving assembly line of identical black bags.

He made it through customs and out to the taxi stand, grateful that Jiraiya had told him just to take a cab from the airport rather than leaving his car at the airport and paying for four months of parking. Naruto was so exhausted he could barely see straight and he probably would not have been able to drive to Kiba's house in this shape. Kiba had told him he was going to take the weekend off to spend some time together, but Naruto wondered if he were going to be awake for much of it. He felt like he could sleep for days.

Naruto sighed as he got into the back of a familiar-looking taxi, speaking to the driver in his native tongue, and knowing without even having to ask that his credit card would work and he wouldn't have to do a bunch of mental math on currency exchange rates to make sure he wasn't getting gouged. Naruto leaned his head against the back of the seat, his eyes closing before the driver had even pulled away from the curb.

He didn't wake up until they reached Kiba's house and his neck slightly stiff from sleeping at an odd angle on the fifty minute ride from the airport. He realized he'd forgotten to call Kiba when he'd gotten in the cab like he was supposed to, but the lights were on in the house so at least Naruto wouldn't find himself locked out. He hoped.

Naruto paid the cabbie and got his stuff out of the trunk. He was just walking up the steps to the front door when Kiba flung it open and ran out, grabbing Naruto in a bear hug.

"Dumbass! You were supposed to call me when you landed! I was wondering where the fuck you were. I checked your flight and it came in on time but I hadn't heard from you," Kiba pulled back, looking Naruto up and down. "Wow, you look…"

Naruto's hair was bleached even lighter from the days in the sun, his skin tanned several shades darker and his much leaner form clearly defined by his worn-too-thin T-shirt and jeans. Naruto shifted the bag that was slung over his shoulder, and Kiba caught the edge of the tattoo that snaked over the upper part of his bicep.

"Whoa! Is that…" Kiba grabbed Naruto's arm, shoving the sleeve of his tight orange T-shirt up over his shoulder. "Did you get a _tat_?"

Naruto laughed tiredly, bumping his shoulder into Kiba's. "Can you at least buy a guy dinner before you rip my clothes off? I know you missed me, but… dinner first, bruh."

Kiba laughed, then looked over to where his elderly neighbor was watching them disapprovingly as she took her dog out for a walk. He blushed slightly. "Sorry, man."

Naruto nudged one of his bags toward Kiba. "Be useful and take one of these."

They headed inside and Naruto almost cried in sheer bliss when he saw two bags from his favorite ramen take-out on Kiba's kitchen counter. "Oh, my god. I think I might ask you to marry me."

Naruto set his bags down, wrenching his shoes off and hurrying over to the kitchen. He forced himself to wash his hands before ripping open one of the bags and pulling out one of the cartons of ramen. He opened the lid, inhaling deeply, his eyes drifting closed as he moaned in pleasure. "You have no idea how much I missed this."

Kiba laughed. "Man, you look like you're talking to a long-lost-lover, not take-out."

Naruto tensed and Kiba instantly grimaced. "Sorry… I just…"

Naruto shrugged. "Nah, it's fine. I mean… it's been four months."

Kiba gave him a worried look as he went over to take out two clean bowls from the cupboard. "Yeah. I noticed you finally changed your relationship status on Facebook a couple weeks ago."

Naruto sighed, pouring one of the cartons into the bowl Kiba gave him. "I sent him an e-mail on his birthday. I wasn't anywhere that I could call but… he didn't write back."

Kiba grimaced. "Sorry."

Naruto took a bite of his soup. "Shit, this is good. I swear, I never want to see another protein bar or piece of dried meat for as long as I fucking live."

Kiba laughed, glad of the change of subject. "What was the food like? Half of those places you went to I've never even heard of."

Naruto chewed and swallowed. "It was ok. I mean… you get pretty hungry hiking around with a hundred pounds of gear on your back, so I would have eaten basically anything, but most of it was pretty ok. Trail food got old really fast, though."

"I bet," Kiba said, digging into his own bowl. "So, I bought you dinner," Kiba grinned, waggling his eyebrows as he spoke around a mouthful of noodles. "Do I get to see the tat now, or what?"

Naruto snickered, shoveling a huge bite in his mouth before setting his chopsticks down and yanking off his shirt. He turned to the side so Kiba could see the front and back of it.

Kiba's eyes widened at the sight of the intricate work. "Holy shit! That's amazing! Did it hurt?"

"Fuck, yeah. I mean… for the first part I was pretty wasted, but yeah. They do it with these combs, not like the machines here."

"Damn!" Kiba put his bowl down and walked over to Naruto, studying the detailed design around Naruto's shoulder and trailing down over his shoulder blade. "This is so badass."

He shoved Naruto forward slightly so he could see where it tapered to a narrow band down Naruto's spine before disappearing into the waistband of his jeans. "Dude, I'm not even a little bit gay, but I totally want to do you right now."

Naruto laughed, pulling his shirt back on over his head and sitting back down to finish his food. "Sorry, I don't do mutts."

Kiba gave the back of Naruto's head a quick shove that almost had him face first into his noodles.

"Seriously, you weren't joking about hiking around with a hundred pounds of gear, were you? Man, you're _ripped_. We have to take you out to the clubs and get you some action."

"Hm," Naruto said, non-committally.

"No 'hm'," Kiba stated firmly. "It's been four months. I know you had a rough break-up, but there is _no way_ that I am going to let you just pine away over that bastard."

Naruto felt a flicker of annoyance at Kiba's use of his old nickname for Sasuke. "Kiba, lay off."

Kiba opened his mouth to say something, then closed it. "Fine. Fine. But you're going to go out and meet people."

Naruto sighed. "I know. I will. I just don't want to do the club thing. I'm not looking for sex. I want a relationship."

"But you might as well _start_ with sex. You need to get the old tallywacker going again. _Everyone_ feels better after a good lay. It's like… a universal law of nature."

Naruto shifted slightly and Kiba's gaze instantly sharpened. He hadn't spent the past twenty years as Naruto's best friend for nothing. "You already _did_ , didn't you?" He watched Naruto's face closely for confirmation. "Oh, my god you _did!_ Who did you hook up with? The guy who tatted you?"

"No," Naruto said, somewhat defensively.

"Holy, shit, was it that hot chick who posted on your page yesterday?" Kiba asked excitedly.

Naruto frowned. He hadn't logged onto Facebook since he'd left his hotel in Bhutan. He pulled it up, and saw a post from Fuu.

 _Thanks for the pic. And the hike. For a lowlander, you have great stamina at high altitude._

Naruto blushed, glad it was cryptic enough that most people wouldn't read all that much into it, especially since the photo was of the mountain where they had hiked. But Kiba, being the perv that he was, saw right through it.

"Too bad Sasuke never got a Facebook account," Kiba said, chuckling a bit. "He could see how much he fucked up."

The words made Naruto uncomfortable, and he shot Kiba another 'back off' glare. "I'm pretty sure Sasuke wouldn't give a shit now. He's probably found someone, too. God knows he was never short on offers." The truth of those words lay bitter on his tongue, and Naruto stood, putting his empty bowl in the sink. He knew that Kiba was just trying to be supportive, but he didn't want to bitch about Sasuke just because they were broken up. He didn't _hate_ Sasuke. It actually would have been so much easier if that were the case.

"I'm gonna grab a shower, then sleep for about three days on your couch."

Kiba watched Naruto walk to the shower, hoping that whatever had happened in Bhutan meant that Naruto was moving on. The expression on Naruto's face told him that probably wasn't the case.

* * *

Naruto had, in fact, done nothing but sleep and eat for about two days before feeling human enough to go out to a club with Kiba. He danced and talked to a few people, but went home alone and didn't regret it. By his fourth day back in Japan he was over his jet-lag and back at Jiraiya's. They had gone through all the photographs and picked the best ones. Naruto had gotten great shots of every location, and Jiraiya was more than pleased.

He had given Naruto a new assignment… or at least… the start of one. Naruto looked at the slip of paper Jiraiya had given him. No business name. No name of the person he was supposed to meet _with_. Just an address and the instructions to not Google it. Evidently, the guy Naruto was going to meet was the subject of a book Jiraiya wanted to publish, and he had not been cooperating so far. They guy hadn't been willing to meet with anyone Jiraiya had tried to send, much less allow anyone inside his place of business to take any photos. Jiraiya said that the man was willing to meet Naruto based on Sai's reference, but only under the condition that Naruto not be told his name nor the nature of his business until they met in person, and no camera equipment at the first meeting. It was odd, but Naruto knew that lots of famous people had weird little hang-ups and he just figured this guy was one of them.

What _did_ make Naruto tense up was the actual address that he was supposed to go to. He sighed. He had been hoping to put off talking with Itachi until he had settled in a little bit, but the fact that the address be in the same city where Itachi worked was making his conscience prick too much to ignore. He tilted his head back, briefly contemplating his ceiling, then pulled out his phone. There was no point in delaying things. Better to just rip the bandaid off.

 _Hey, Itachi. I got back earlier this week. I'll actually be doing a job not too far from you on Saturday around noon. Let me know if you want to grab a coffee and talk._

Naruto sort of hoped that they could meet somewhere public. Somewhere where Itachi would have more trouble concealing a murder and hiding a body.

 _Come to my place for dinner Friday night._

Fuck. Sometimes Karma was a bitch. But he supposed Itachi had the right to have his say. He'd been there for both Naruto and Sasuke too many times in the past for Naruto to blow him off. Whatever had happened with Sasuke, Naruto had always respected Itachi. So Naruto texted him back.

 _Fine. But I'm telling at least three friends where I'll be in case I'm never heard from again_

Naruto's phone buzzed again, and he looked down, a small smile twisting his lips as he saw the reply.

 _That sounds entirely reasonable. Be there by 8._

* * *

Naruto forced himself to take a deep breath as he stood outside the door to Itachi's apartment. _Itachi won't actually kill me. Itachi won't actually kill me._

Of course, it didn't help that Naruto was remembering - with perfect clarity - his first meeting with Itachi, when he and Sasuke had just started dating. Sasuke had gone to get them some drinks and Itachi had 'casually' mentioned that - as a medical student - he knew many ways to kill someone and make it look like death by natural causes. Itachi also was aware of ways to make someone impotent for life. It made Naruto revise his mantra.

 _Itachi won't actually kill me… but he might cut off my balls._

Naruto huffed a bit at his own imagination, then stiffened his spine and knocked firmly on Itachi's door. He was man enough to take whatever Itachi dished out. He'd known Sasuke had an over-protective brother when they started dating, and now it was time to pay the piper. The door opened after a brief moment.

"I was wondering how long you were going to stand there," Itachi said, his voice slightly amused as he stepped back and let Naruto inside.

Naruto handed Itachi a small bag of gourmet coffee beans. He had thought about bringing wine like he and Sasuke usually did the few times they'd been to Itachi's place before, but that had seemed odd, given the theme of possible castration for the evening.

Naruto didn't want to show up empty handed, either, though, so he had settled on good coffee. Itachi's coffee addiction was possibly even worse than Sasuke's, so Naruto knew that the gift would not go to waste no matter how annoyed Itachi was with him. Itachi looked at the bag as he accepted it, breathing in appreciatively as the rich aroma of the beans seeped through the paper bag.

"Thank you," Itachi's voice was controlled and polite, as always, as he walked to the small kitchen and set them on the counter. By the amazing smells that were coming from the stove behind him, he had already finished cooking dinner.

"You have a shoot in town?" Itachi asked conversationally, leaning casually against the kitchen counter while Naruto removed his shoes. Naruto wished they'd just dive right in rather than pretending this was a normal dinner between them, but he would let Itachi set the rules for this. Especially since he still couldn't tell if Itachi was angry with him or not. It had taken him years to be able to read Sasuke, but Itachi had always been at a whole other level.

"Yeah. Well, _maybe_. There's some guy that Jiraiya's been wanting to do a story on, but I guess the guy doesn't like publicity. Or maybe he doesn't like people? Anyway, Jiraiya his hoping I'll be able to convince the guy to let us take pictures of him and his business. I'm meeting with him for lunch tomorrow. We'll see how it goes."

"Who is it?" Itachi asked, sounding honestly curious. Was that good sign that he wasn't planning on castrating him? Naruto hoped so.

"Jiraiya said he couldn't tell me. I just have the address I am supposed to meet him at tomorrow. Evidently the guy wants to see my reaction? I really have no idea."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "That's… an interesting assignment for a photographer."

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah, it is a little weird. I guess I made a good impression on some architect that Jiraiya had been having trouble with, and I think this other guy knows him or something. He was willing to meet with me. But only me."

"Hm," Itachi walked over to the cupboard and brought out a bottle of wine. Naruto had finished taking off his shoes and went to wash his hands.

"Can I help with anything? Get out some hemlock, or something?" Naruto joked, unable to wait any longer to see how angry with him Itachi was.

Itachi's lips gave the tiniest of twitches, but his eyes were easier to read as they warmed slightly in amusement. "I didn't invite you here to punish you for walking out on Sasuke."

"Really?" Naruto's voice was a blend of disbelief and guilt. Despite Itachi's expression, Naruto couldn't help but flinch the man's words. He knew them to be nothing but the truth: Naruto _had_ been the one to walk.

Itachi's face gave nothing away. "Yes."

He began laying out the food on the table, and Naruto automatically helped. They'd had many dinners together through the years. It made Naruto a little sad to realize this was probably the last one. Finally, they sat down at Itachi's kitchen table to eat. Neither spoke for a bit as they ate the food Itachi had prepared. Finally, Naruto broke the silence.

"So… if you didn't invite me here to remind me that you're a medical practitioner willing to violate the Hippocratic Oath for a good cause, then… why am I here?"

The faintest smirk appeared on Itachi's lips at Naruto's choice of words, but his eyes were serious. "I want you to tell me what happened."

Naruto hesitated. "Itachi, if you're wondering if this is all some sort of misunderstanding that can be fixed, I'm pretty sure -"

"No," Itachi's voice showed the first subtle hint of temper, though it was still hidden beneath the naturally smooth tone of his voice. Most people would have missed it, but Naruto had been around the Uchiha brothers enough to feel its bite. "I am well aware that it was no misunderstanding. And even if it was, the way that you ended it is not something that Sasuke would be willing to simply look past and get over at this point."

Naruto heard the reprimand in the words, and didn't dispute them. He rested his hands on the table, looking down at the smooth surface beneath his fingers. "I didn't… I didn't mean to hurt Sasuke."

"Really? It was an odd choice to dissolve a six year relationship in that way, if that were the case." Itachi's gaze was unrelenting, though his tone remained polite.

Naruto let out a frustrated sigh, some of his own temper flaring up, much of it directed at himself, but part of it at Itachi. If anyone was going to call him out on this, it should be Sasuke, not Itachi. His temper showed in his voice when he replied. "I know, ok? I know that now. But Sasuke had been barely _talking_ to me for over a year, Itachi. He spent all his time at work, and when he _was_ home, he was either sleeping or _thinking_ about work. He was annoyed with the choices I made with my career and he just… he was clearly not interested in me anymore. On _any_ level."

Naruto gave Itachi a look that clearly said he wasn't going to elaborate on it, but left there no doubt as to what he meant. "He shut me out, Itachi. I might have been the one who said the actual words, but Sasuke closed me out first. I thought he'd be relieved when it was finally over. Obviously, I was wrong. But that doesn't change what the reality of our relationship has been for the past year. We haven't _had_ a relationship."

Itachi looked steadily at him, but didn't disagree and Naruto felt a small frisson of relief shoot through him. He hadn't wanted to have somehow been _wrong_ on that, to have somehow misread it. But Itachi wouldn't be going easy on him if he had.

"Sasuke has never been able to open up to others. For reasons you know. But somehow, he had with you. I had hoped… that it would work out differently."

 _Yeah, you and me both,_ Naruto thought glumly, poking at the rice on his plate with his chopsticks but no longer actually eating. He finally voiced what had been going around his head for the past several months.

"I think we were just too different. Sasuke needs someone who is more like him. Someone in his own field, who he views as an equal and who can hold Sasuke's interest better." Naruto had thought he'd been able to keep the emotion out of his voice, but he should have known better as Itachi's gaze sharpened on him.

"You think Sasuke was interested in someone else?" Itachi asked.

"No. I mean… he wasn't back then. I don't know if he is now, but… there was someone from work that he… that he seemed to be able to relate to. Better than me."

Itachi looked at Naruto inscrutably for a moment. "Why do you say it like that?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. "I saw them together. At dinner. It was just business, but the way Sasuke looked at Neji… all his attention on him... with respect. He was _interested_ in what Neji had to say. It mattered to him. That is something that he hadn't done with me in years."

Naruto looked off to the side, toying with his chopsticks.

Itachi took a bite of his own food, chewing slowly as he thought, then swallowing. "So you left because you thought he was going to leave you sooner or later anyway, and you got tired of waiting for it to happen."

Naruto blinked to hear it put that way. Is that what he did? He supposed it was, in a way. "Maybe. I guess partly. It seemed like it was pretty clear it was over, so I felt like one of us should just man up and finish it so we could both move on. But even if Sasuke were willing to just keep going like that, I wasn't. That… what we had for the past year… that isn't what I want my life to be."

Itachi looked at him as he considered Naruto's words. "And what do you want, Naruto?"

"A family." There was no hesitation in Naruto's words. "Not necessarily kids, though I wouldn't mind. But I know what it is like to live alone. Or to live in a house with someone who wishes you weren't there. There was nothing I could do about it when I was a kid, but I am not going to live the rest of my adult life that way. I thought… I thought Sasuke wanted that, too since he…"

Naruto trailed off. Itachi knew better than Naruto just exactly how much Sasuke would understand what it was like to live in a house where people didn't want you there.

Naruto's stomach felt too twisted to eat, but he took a bite anyway.

"Our family is a very traditional one," Itachi said after a moment.

Naruto could only look at him, unsure if Itachi was trying to imply something about the fact that both he and Sasuke were males. Which would be odd, since Itachi had supported them from the beginning.

"What I mean is, in traditional Japanese culture, the primary role of the male is to provide for his family. There are many men who only see their family once a month, working long hours in the city, living in a tiny room that barely holds a bed and a TV while they send money home to their wife and children."

Naruto bristled. "I'm not the fucking _wife_ , Itachi. I had a job. It might not have paid as much as Sasuke's, but -"

"Naruto." Itachi's calm, quiet voice cut through the room like a blade. Naruto forced himself to calm down.

"I'm not saying that Sasuke thinks of you as his 'wife'. Or that I view you that way. What I am saying is that Sasuke's idea of what it means to care for someone he considers family might be different than yours. He would view financial security and stability as the most important thing. Making sure you weren't pressured to take jobs you don't want, that you have a safe place to live, that you both can pay off your student loans. That is the traditional role he would view himself as fulfilling."

Naruto rubbed his face in frustration. "But I don't _want_ that. I don't _need_ that. I want someone who will actually _be there_. I don't need to live in an expensive apartment or… or any of that other bullshit. We could have gotten by on less just _fine_. All I wanted was Sasuke. I didn't give a shit about the rest of it as long as I had him. I gave up the chance to make a lot more money because it was more important to me to actually _be with_ Sasuke. Not just send him a fucking check every month."

Itachi said nothing for a moment, though Naruto's admission about giving up a better job was clearly news to him. If Naruto didn't know better, he would almost say that Itachi looked emotional. Both of their food was barely half-eaten, but Itachi stood and walked over to the kitchen, taking out the bag of coffee beans that Naruto had given him and pouring some into the grinder.

"So is that why you are going back to dating women?" Itachi's question caught Naruto off guard.

"What?"

A look of annoyance flashed across Itachi's face. "The woman from Bhutan. Being in a relationship with a woman would give you an easier route to having a family. And children"

Naruto remembered belatedly that - while Sasuke had never been interested in having a Facebook account - Itachi _did._ And they had been 'friends' since Naruto had started dating Sasuke. Which meant that Itachi would have seen Naruto's change of status. And Fuu's post.

"No! That wasn't… I didn't even…" Naruto forced himself to stop stammering. He tried to gather his thoughts but honestly he didn't know what to say. He wasn't leaving Sasuke because it was 'too hard to be gay' or something stupid like that. "I was lonely, Itachi. It was a mistake… just a… one-time thing, but even if I'm not going to be dating Fuu, I'm not going to go through the rest of my life alone just because Sasuke and I couldn't work things out. We'd been broken up for four months and that was the first time anything had happened. I didn't do anything wrong."

Naruto watched as Itachi went through the ritual of making coffee, knowing that the man was processing what Naruto had said while he did.

"Then why do you think it was a mistake?"

Soon the achingly familiar smell of fresh coffee brewing filled the small apartment. It was a scent that Naruto associated intimately with Sasuke… seeing him adorably disheveled in the mornings with bed head as he brewed the first pot to get his system going. Or at night, with his tie undone, his sleeves rolled up, as he worked late into the evenings, the coffee there to help keep him awake and focused. Naruto drew a deep breath and had to look away.

"Because that sort of thing… doesn't make me less lonely," Naruto turned back to pin Itachi with his gaze. "Something surely _you_ should understand," Naruto wasn't going to let Itachi make him feel bad when he knew that the man's definition of 'long-term relationship' was a possible second night.

Itachi didn't bother to deny the not-so-subtle jab.

"It is unfortunate," Itachi said finally, looking at the coffee he had poured into his cup but still not drinking it. "You and Sasuke both wanted the same thing in a way. But how you viewed it was… perhaps too different at this point in time."

The anger Naruto had felt deflated at the sad, gentle tone of Itachi's voice. The depression that Naruto had been avoiding by burying himself in work came crashing back down on him. He gave up on finishing dinner and took his plate to the kitchen. "Yeah. I guess so."

He helped Itachi clean up in silence for a while. Finally, he asked the question he'd been waiting for an answer to since he arrived.

"So… why _did_ you want to talk to me?"

Itachi looked down at his hands, their tapered beauty and strength so similar to Sasuke's. "I had thought you and Sasuke were going to last. I am… rarely wrong about things, and I wanted to understand what I had been mistaken about."

Naruto didn't comment on the arrogance of the statement for the simple fact that it was the _truth._ Itachi _was_ rarely wrong, especially when it was about something he cared about. And there was nothing in this world Itachi care more about than Sasuke.

"So… what did you figure out?" Naruto asked, his voice raw, honestly wanting the answer. After all, he had been just as wrong.

Itachi suddenly looked wearier than Naruto had seen him in years. "I think I underestimated the damage that both of you had come into the relationship carrying."

Itachi's words somehow made Naruto's throat tighten. It was something he'd been trying to avoid thinking too much about. He and Sasuke had seemed so perfect in the beginning of things. Their troubled pasts had been something that had drawn them together, let them relate to each other. But maybe Itachi was right. Maybe Naruto was just too damaged.

He didn't sleep well that night, wondering if all the time he'd been forced to be alone as a child had made it so he would be incapable of really being with others as an adult.

* * *

The next day, Naruto headed down to the address Jiraiya had given him. The building was obviously closed, since the steel gate to the garage was pulled down. Naruto had found parking a block or two away and walked. The first thing that he noticed when he approached the entrance was that the building had no windows on the first two floors, and the upper floor had windows that looked almost opaque and would only let the smallest amount of light but no actual images in or out. Naruto paused. He wasn't an idiot, and there were only a very few types of 'businesses' that would require a building like this.

The building was gated and well-maintained. It didn't have the raunchy, neon feel of the red-light district he'd seen in Tokyo, so he was going more with the idea of 'gentlemen's club' vs. full-on brothel. Naruto had never been in a place like that. Kiba had wanted to try it once, and Naruto had just laughed and said he hoped he'd never be so desperate that he'd actually need to _pay_ for it, and that had been that. But he had to admit to being a little curious as to what really went on in places like that.

Naruto felt suddenly a little nervous. Was the club owner doing something illegal, and that was why he always turned away interviews? 'Social clubs' were legal, brothels weren't. Naruto was suddenly glad that he'd been invited for Saturday lunch rather than Friday night drinks, because he wasn't really sure how ready he was to do something that was possibly _illegal_ as part of his job. He hadn't discussed it with Jiraiya because it honestly had never occurred to him, but he knew that Jiraiya played by his own rules more than most, so he should probably have clarified.

"I'm told it's much easier to meet someone in their office if you actually go inside." A low, gravelly voice came from behind Naruto, startling him.

Naruto spun around to see a man that looked only slightly older than himself leaning against the brick pillar to the right of the entrance to the underground parking garage. He was dressed casually, wearing tight black jeans and a tight black tank top, but something about the intensity of the green eyes and the lean strength of the man's body made him anything but approachable.

"I…" Naruto felt his words fumble a little bit as he looked at the man, taking in the red hair and toned arms. There was something about him that caught Naruto off guard, though he couldn't even place what it was. He clearly kept his body in good shape, and there was a coiled, physical… _presence_ to him that Naruto had only felt from one other person. Naruto's first thought was that the man looked… guarded. And lonely. Despite the man's cold and somewhat intimidating exterior, Naruto felt drawn to him. And curious about him.

Naruto gave a lopsided grin, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. "Yeah, I just have never been here before… I wasn't sure I was in the right place."

The man looked at him, unblinking, and didn't return Naruto's smile. He wasn't unfriendly, though. Simply… watching Naruto. Almost studying him.

"So, I'm guessing you're the guy I'm supposed to meet, right? Unless you just really like hanging around parking garages," Naruto's voice was relaxed and friendly. He was well versed with handling the quiet, intense types. Green eyes widened just the tiniest bit, then the man spoke.

"Sai said that you don't just follow what others tell you. You like to see with your own eyes, and decide for yourself."

"Um… yeah? I mean, I'm a photographer, so if I don't have my own sense of how to look at something, I'm pretty much in the wrong field." Naruto had the sense that the man was talking about more than just the photos that Sai had tried to influence, but wasn't sure how Sai would get that much of a read on him with the few times they'd seen each other, so he decided to just take the comment at face value. For the moment.

A small breeze kicked up, shifting the man's spiky red hair, revealing a kanji tattoo on his forehead. Naruto was a little surprised that it was the kanji for 'love'. Somehow, the man before him didn't come off at first blush as a romantic, but maybe the tattoo wasn't about that. Naruto's curiosity only increased.

The man was still regarding Naruto silently as he levered himself away from the brick pillar. He turned and walked toward the entrance to the mysterious building. Naruto stood there for a moment, not sure if he was supposed to follow or if he was being brushed off.

The redhead turned to look over his shoulder at Naruto. "Coming?"

Naruto shrugged. "Are you going to at least tell me your name before you have me follow you home?"

The man took out a heavy set of keys. Some of them were large, steel skeleton keys and Naruto had no idea what a key like that would unlock.

"Gaara," he said, turning the lock in the heavy wooden door before opening it, stepping back to let Naruto enter. The lights were off, giving Naruto no better sense of what Gaara's building actually was. But Jiraiya's gamble had paid off… Gaara was letting him in.

* * *

 _to be continued…_

A/N: The first scene with Gaara is really long, so I cut it here because it would be weird to cut it in the middle? Next chapter will pick up right from this point, so no time skip in the next one. Sasuke and Itachi will also make an appearance!


	11. Gaara

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x others

 **A/N:** Thanks to Tandy_Hard and CapturedByNoodles for reading through this and encouraging me! *squishes them both* Chapter is later than I thought it would be, but it is also longer? After April 1 hopefully my life will return to sanity, and I won't be too tired to proofread anymore LOL.

* * *

 **Chapter 11 -**

Gaara held the door open as he waited for Naruto to walk into the building, then followed him in and turned on the lights.

"Why were you standing outside the building?" Gaara asked, his voice deep and inflectionless, as Naruto got his first look at the inside of the place.

Naruto rubbed the back of his head, slightly embarrassed at how it must have looked. "I, ah… well, Jiraiya didn't tell me anything about the place, so I was trying to figure out what it was."

Naruto's eyes roamed curiously over the room. There was a large bar on one side, fancy (by Naruto's standards), set up in a fully enclosed hexagonal design that would allow the bartender to service patrons on all sides of the bar. Naruto looked at the shelves that lined the mirrored interior of the bar and noticed that there was no alcohol. To the left of the bar were several pool tables along with a couple of leather lounges. To the right was a large fireplace set in stone with empty... _cages_?... on either side. Black leather sofas and lounge chairs were arranged casually around it.

Gaara arched a brow at him and Naruto noticed for the first time that the man's eyebrows were so fine as to be almost nonexistent. With the intensity of the steady, green-eyed gaze, it wasn't surprising that Naruto hadn't noticed earlier.

"And what do you think?" Gaara asked him, his voice a low rumble.

Naruto shrugged as he turned to look at the rest of the room. "Well, the 'no windows' thing narrowed it down a bit. But it looked too nice to be a cheesy strip-club or a brothel. So I had been leaning towards 'gentleman's club'."

Gaara's face remained expressionless, but there was a trace of humor in his voice. "Hm, I suppose 'gentlemen's club' would be an interesting way of putting it."

Gaara had flipped only one of the many switches on the wall, for the most basic overhead lights. There was a smooth, tiled floor for dancing, with complicated light fixtures overhead that Naruto was sure could be dim or bright or possibly flickering when in use. The shape of the room itself was more interesting, though. Rather than being a regular rectangle, there were moderately sized alcoves surrounding the dance area. Most of them had curtains hooked to the side that could presumably offer privacy if wanted. It didn't take a genius for Naruto to figure out what those would be used for.

"This just looks like a dance club. Only with space built in for some, uh… _after-dance_ activities."

They had made their way through the bar area, and Gaara unlocked a door behind the bar that Naruto assumed was Gaara's office. The club owner opened the door then stepped inside, gesturing for Naruto to follow.

"You've only seen the ground floor. We might see the rest of it later," Gaara's voice gave no hint as to what the 'rest' of the building might entail, but Naruto was pretty sure it wasn't going to be rooms full of filing cabinets.

He looked around at the room Gaara had shown him into. It was definitely an office, with a desk and filing cabinets. But the decor was something that Naruto was pretty sure would never exist in any paper-pusher's domain.

The desk appeared fully functional, with its flat surface and drawers, but instead of being made out of the typical teak or mahogany, it was made of steel, with posts up to the ceiling as well as down to the floor. The chairs were all black leather and steel, and had odd scuff marks on the metal arm rests that made Naruto think a bit more creatively about just what might put marks like that there. There was a large, dark wooden cabinet standing in one corner, but otherwise the room was spotlessly clean. The floors looked like they were some kind of red granite, and they gleamed in the light of the room. Naruto was pretty sure they were clean enough to eat off.

He looked up to find Gaara watching him. The club owner was not doing anything other than standing there, his arms crossed loosely over his chest as he leaned against one of the steel posts of his desk. But the way his gaze was completely locked on Naruto, observing every detail of Naruto's reaction to the place made Naruto shift his weight slightly and wet his suddenly dry, nervous lips.

Gaara waved a hand for Naruto to take a seat as Gaara walked behind the odd desk and seated himself in the large chair there. Naruto sat as directed across from Gaara, wondering if the man put every potential employee through the same vetting, using his intense presence and stoic expression to make them sweat. Somehow, Naruto had a feeling that Gaara did, and he found the thought entertaining. Naruto was good at reading people - a necessary survival skill he'd developed while growing up - and as much as he _did_ find Gaara to be intense, he didn't find him intimidating. Naruto found him... interesting, instead.

Gaara made no move to start a conversation, so Naruto took the initiative and pulled his portfolio out, handing the volume to Gaara. Jiraiya had said that Gaara wanted to meet him before deciding whether or not he'd allow them to take any photos. Naruto assumed Gaara would want to see his credentials as a photographer, and maybe sign some sort of non-disclosure agreement.

"Jiraiya didn't really say much about what this meeting was for, but I was guessing that - since he wants me to photograph your place and you aren't so sure - you probably wanted to see my work and sign an NDA?" Naruto gave Gaara a friendly grin, one that usually thawed out even the most hard-assed people he had to deal with. Gaara simply raised an eyebrow, then wordlessly took the volume Naruto handed him.

Naruto tried not to fidget as the expressionless man began to slowly turn the pages, studying each of Naruto's photos in a depth that made him feel nervous as hell. He was used to people critiquing his work as part of his job, but this reminded him of his days back in school when he'd submit a project and the professors would evaluate it. He didn't know why, but he felt a strong urge to win Gaara over. Gaara glanced up at him and Naruto had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from filling the silence with nervous chatter. It was a bad habit that he'd had from childhood until Sasuke had finally helped him break it in their senior year in college.

Gaara paused at a particular page. "This is one of Sai's buildings."

Naruto leaned forward to he could see the picture that Gaara was talking about.

"Yeah. That was the one I liked best from that series. I liked the lighting in it." Naruto was glad that Gaara was still staring at the photo so he didn't see Naruto grimace at his own words. He wasn't really sure how this conversation was supposed to go and he cursed Jiraiya once again for not giving him some sort of advice on what to talk about.

"These are very good," was all Gaara said, but Naruto had the impression that Gaara didn't give praise lightly.

"Thanks."

Gaara looked at him for a moment, then went back to looking through his photos. He paused at a few that Naruto could tell just from the layout were of the wedding. "You have a way of capturing emotions that is actually… interesting."

Naruto wondered if Gaara meant 'interesting' as in good, or 'interesting' as in it-really-sucks-ass- but-I-am-being-polite. He didn't think that Gaara 'did' polite lies, though.

"Um… thanks?"

Gaara shrugged, his eyes shifting from the photos back to Naruto's face. "In most weddings, the photograph focuses on the bride and groom making cow eyes at each other, or the parents looking all teary and proud. You captured the flower girl looking like she needed a nap and one of the guests trying to hide an amused smile about it."

Naruto chuckled softly, amusement warming his blue eyes and taking the edge off his nerves. "Well, to be fair, the little five-year-old flower girl had been cute as hell. Her eyes kept drooping in the hot afternoon sun of the garden wedding and her little crown of wilting daisies kept sliding down off her head. It had been an easy shot to make. But I'm pretty sure I got some cow eyes in the wedding album," Naruto gave Gaara a lopsided grin. He tried not to sound defensive about it, but he knew that type of wedding work wasn't exactly the height of prestige for a photographer.

Gaara's gaze on Naruto seemed to intensify fractionally, then gave a small, dismissive shrug. "It's what you were paid to do. The other photos are the interesting part. They are the ones that show your choices in how to look at people."

Gaara continued to flip silently through the book, occasionally making a comment. He got to one page and paused for so long that Naruto felt his nerves surging back up again, wondering what was wrong.

"You know this person very well, don't you?" Gaara asked.

Naruto leaned forward and found his stomach tightening when he realized which page it was. He hadn't had time to update his portfolio after coming back from his trip. Jiraiya had set this meeting up almost as soon as Naruto had gotten over his jet-lag.

The page was a series of black-and-white photos of Sasuke that Naruto had taken as part of his final senior project in college. He swallowed as looked at the set of three photographs arrayed on the page. They were done in straight black-and-white, in a very simple setting. Naruto hadn't wanted anything to detract from the stark beauty of Sasuke himself. At first, Sasuke had told Naruto to fuck off about it. He didn't like having his picture taken, despite the fact that he was disgustingly photogenic. Of course, it probably hadn't helped that Naruto had joked about Sasuke having to be naked, which almost earned him a broken camera. Once Naruto had clarified that Sasuke would be fully clothed and have veto rights over the final photo selection, Sasuke had grudgingly said he'd give it a try. Naruto had asked Sasuke to wear a simple white button-down shirt, blue jeans, and bare feet. Sasuke had rolled his eyes but complied.

Naruto had scoped out the perfect space for the shoot earlier in the week. It was a lounge on the top floor of the art building. With skylights and large windows, it had great light in the late morning and early afternoon. He had a friend who knew someone with a key to the art building, so they had headed down after breakfast on a Sunday morning when there wouldn't be many other people around. Naruto had wanted the photos to be as natural and un-posed as possible, so they hadn't done any shots when they first arrived. They had just hung out, worked on homework, talked about what to order for lunch and messed around a little, with Naruto periodically picking up his camera and taking pictures.

The resulting set of photos had made Naruto agonize for hours over which were his favorites, but in the end he had settled on the three that were still in his portfolio. The first in the series was of Sasuke sitting in a chair, his brows slightly creased as he read a book held loosely in his strong, elegant hands (Naruto remembered it was some homework for one of his electrical engineering classes), his expression intense and focused.

The second showed Sasuke leaning against the frame of the window, his face in profile as he looked out on the lawns below. Naruto wished he'd had a better lens, so he could have blurred the background out with a shallower depth of field, but it was still a striking photo. Sasuke's body posture appeared relaxed and casual, but his expression was utterly closed-off, his jaw tense with the sharp angles of the bone and tensed jaw muscles highlighted by the filtered light streaming in from the window. The overall impression was hard, cold, but somehow also fragile. Naruto felt the old surge of protectiveness towards Sasuke as he looked at the picture, remembering when it had been taken. Sometime during the afternoon, Sasuke's parents had called. Sasuke never told him what the conversation was about, but Naruto had captured the toll it had taken on Sasuke in the photo.

The final photo had been Naruto's favorite. It was just after they'd been making out on the couch, trying to decide if it was worth the risk of being caught by campus security (again) for getting a little too carried away. Sasuke had said that he didn't want to get busted with Naruto's camera equipment all over the place making it look like they were shooting porn. Naruto had been frustrated as hell, willing to do pretty much _anything_ in that moment to get Sasuke out of his pants and Sasuke had found it extremely amusing. He'd been laying down on the small sofa, his hair somewhat disheveled. They hadn't gotten very far, so Sasuke's shirt was still tucked in and only the top two buttons were undone. One leg was bent up, a bare foot resting on the white, vinyl cushion of the sofa, the other leg splayed out to the side. The position showcased the lean, toned length of Sasuke's body, the sexual nature of it subtle but tangibly present. But it was the look in Sasuke's face that had made this photo Naruto's favorite. The slightly smug smirk combined with the knowing, amused look in the dark eyes that looked directly at the person holding camera, still laced with just enough heat to hint at what either had just happened, or what was just about to happen.

Naruto drew a breath, not wanting to think about that day. Or all the things that had happened when they'd returned to the privacy of Naruto's dorm room. If he were honest with himself, these photos had been some of the best work he'd ever done. His professor had raved about the angles and the emotions that Naruto had been able to capture. Looking at them now was salt rubbed into the wound. When he updated his portfolio to include his latest work, he'd have to remove these.

He looked up to find Gaara's eyes on him, and realized he hadn't responded to the man's question.

"Yeah, that's… he was my… uh… boyfriend, at the time." Naruto tried to keep his voice professional and emotionless.

"These are beautiful photographs. You captured… a sense of who he is, rather than just what he looks like."

"Do you know him?" Naruto asked, feeling somehow unsettled at the thought.

"No. But the way you've captured him here, the way the pictures are laid out, you get the sense of a very… complicated person."

Naruto gave a soft chuckle. "Yeah. He's that, for sure."

"But you're no longer together." It was said as a statement, but there was definitely a question in there.

"Nah, it… things just didn't work out."

Gaara nodded and gave a low hum, but didn't comment. He turned the page as though the topic hadn't just completely emotionally upended Naruto. He closed the book and handed it back to Naruto.

"You are just as good as Jiraiya said you were."

"Thanks," Naruto said, giving Gaara a smile, relieved at the change of topic back to something more professional. Something he could actually handle. "So, does this mean you're fine with me taking the pictures Jiraiya wants?"

Gaara tilted his head to the side, considering. "I think your photography skills are clearly sufficient."

Naruto tried to get a read from Gaara's impassive face. "Is that… a yes?"

"Why do you think I wanted to meet you before I agreed to let you photograph my club?" Gaara countered.

"Well," Naruto thought about trying to sugar-coat it, but then decided not to. "I figured that either you were doing something illegal that you wanted me to sign off about, or that you were one of those guys who likes his privacy and hoped if you were a big enough pain the ass about it, Jiraiya would just give up."

Gaara gave a slight smile. "I would have no problem telling Jiraiya directly to fuck off if I didn't want him to publish the book."

"Well, you already basically told me that there's nothing illegal going on here. So… you just like control?"

"Yes, actually, I like control quite a bit," Gaara's eyes flashed with a secretive sort of amusement as though Naruto had made an unwitting joke. "But that's not the reason I wanted to meet you. Do you know what kind of club this is?"

"Hm, given the secrecy and all I'm guessing this isn't just a dance club. I'd say it's either some kind of elite social club or a sex club?"

"I prefer to call it a social club. It simplifies some of the legal issues." Gaara said, dryly.

Naruto breathed out a short laugh at the not-so-subtle evasion of the question. "Yeah, I'll bet. I read the other day about a bunch of sex clubs getting shut down in Tokyo. I don't think all of them actually had hookers, though, so it didn't seem clear to me what was illegal?"

"Public sex acts, even if consensual, are illegal," Gaara said.

"But if it's a private building, then…?"

"Exactly. This is a private building. We don't sell sex here. We don't even sell alcohol. We just offer… a place for people to meet up," his eyes blinked in lazy amusement. "And some special equipment, if needed."

"Equipment?" Naruto asked, curious.

Gaara brushed the implied question off. "We'll talk about that later."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "You're the one who brought it up."

Gaara leaned back in his chair. "True. Would you like a drink?"

"It's noon… isn't it a little early to be drinking?"

Gaara took out a bottle labelled 'fresh squeezed orange juice'. "Didn't I tell you we don't sell alcohol here?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Sure."

Gaara poured them each a glass. Naruto took a sip, and it was probably the best orange juice he'd ever tasted. "Wow. This is great. So… do you not drink at all, then? Or just not at work."

Gaara took a long drink, then set his half-empty glass down on the table. "Alcohol isn't my vice of choice."

Naruto opened his mouth to ask what it was, but then realized it was a stupid question. "So, you don't want photos to get out that would get your place shut down?"

Gaara remained relaxed in his chair, his intelligent eyes locked on Naruto. "That's certainly part of it. What do you know about the general rules of most sex clubs you've heard about?"

"Well… I mean… I would guess no cameras is a big one?" Naruto grinned, gesturing vaguely at his photo album.

Gaara arched a brow. "Yes, that's a big one. What else?"

"Um…," Naruto tried not to feel stupid that he honestly had no idea. "I mean… I'd guess the basic things like… use condoms, 'No means No', that kind of thing?"

"Depending on the day of the week, 'no' doesn't necessarily mean 'no'," Gaara's face was stoic, but his voice held a hint of amusement that had Naruto blushing slightly. "But yes, all activities carried out in the club have to be consensual."

Naruto wasn't quite sure what to make of that statement. "Ok? But… I still don't see what that really has to do with me taking pictures. I'm guessing you'd let people know beforehand that there would be someone here taking photos, and either have me only shoot in certain rooms or only have people come at that time who were ok with having their pictures taken. And for the other rules, I mean… it's not like I'm gonna be… _doing_ any of this stuff, or whatever."

"You'd have to be a member to… participate," Gaara said calmly. Naruto thought he detected an edge of teasing to the man's voice, but he couldn't be sure. "But, as you said, that wouldn't be while you were taking pictures.

Naruto didn't know why he suddenly found this conversation embarrassing. He had no issues with sex. In fact, he likes sex quite a lot. He'd certainly hooked up a few times in college at parties with someone he didn't really know. He supposed this was like that but only… on a bigger scale.

"Ok, so if you think my photography is good enough, and we agree that I'm not going to be participating in anything other than taking pictures while I'm here, then… I don't think I understand what the concern is."

Gaara closed Naruto's portfolio and handed it back to him. "What if I told you that one of the reasons I was willing to meet you was that Jiraiya had told me that you were in a relationship with a man?"

Naruto didn't know why, but the fact didn't really surprise him. Jiraiya had told him early on that he was pleased with Naruto's 'open-mindedness' when it came to sexuality.

"Then I guess… I would assume this was a club for gay men. And you don't want some homophobe in here making people uncomfortable."

Gaara nodded slightly. "Most sex clubs are for men and women. Women are allowed to hook up with other women, but the same isn't generally true for men."

Naruto grimaced. That was something he'd heard about and found incredibly stupid but somehow not surprising. "So probably you have a lot of men who really don't want it out there that they belong here, since… not everyone is cool with that."

"Yes. Despite some legalization of same-sex partnerships in a few cities, there are still a lot of men who prefer to keep that side of their lives hidden for professional or family reasons."

Naruto tried not to flinch, wondering if that had been part of the reason Sasuke never talked about their relationship at work. Naruto actually wouldn't have resented him for it. Martyrdom is only worth it if the sacrifice changes things, and Sasuke getting overlooked for promotion year after year due to his orientation wouldn't have changed the gay rights landscape in Japan one fucking bit. But he knew Sasuke well enough to know that Sasuke wouldn't have talked about a girlfriend either. He just didn't like to let people in.

"So you want me to agree to hide the faces of anyone I photograph?"

"No," Gaara's voice firmed. "I want someone who can photograph a gay club without judging it. I want someone who can show the complexity of it without simply objectifying it. Like you did with the wedding photos. Like you did with your boyfriend."

Naruto suddenly realized that this book wasn't going to be a book on a dirty gay sex club. This was going to be a book on a certain segment of gay sexuality. He suddenly felt vastly under-qualified, but incredibly excited to try. A kaleidoscope of possible pictures went through his mind. The way people would arrive, some nervous at being seen, others making sure they were noticed and unflinchingly bearing the stares. The attraction that would be obvious inside the club. Maybe even there would be a few couples that came together. The nervousness of hooking up with someone for the first time. All the human things that were true regardless of orientation, but others that were specific to the sub-culture that came here. Naruto wanted to show as much depth as he possibly could, though the whole 'sex club' thing seemed as though it would objectify the people a bit no matter what, which he wasn't sure was the best idea.

"You're thinking about something," Gaara watched Naruto's expression intently.

"Yeah, I was just…" Naruto trailed off. He didn't have an issue with sex clubs, and he didn't want to insult Gaara, but he also wasn't sure this was the best venue for what it seemed Jiraiya and Gaara wanted to do.

"Ask. You clearly have a question."

"I mean… aren't sex clubs usually for like… hooking up with strangers? Won't that just… objectify it no matter what?"

Gaara gave a small shrug. "It's no different from the heterosexual clubs. That's all I want to show. That it's the _same_ , on a certain level. Some people come with their partner. Some come alone, but meet up with a regular partner inside the club. Some like variety."

Naruto considered this. His mind briefly flickered to what it would be like to take Sasuke to a place like this, but he shut those thoughts down as they were both painful and irrelevant. But he wasn't sure he would like other people seeing Sasuke naked, much less see him in the throes of sex. Naruto had always coveted the fact that Sasuke was cold in front of everyone but him. He would never want to share that with others.

"You don't like that idea," Gaara stated, though he didn't sound offended.

Naruto shifted in his chair. He'd never been inside a place like this much less had a private meeting with the _owner_ of one, and damn Jiraiya was a fucking pervert and Naruto totally should have seen this one coming. "No I… I just had never really considered it, I guess. I think… I think I tend to be maybe too possessive for stuff in public."

Gaara gave a small smirk, as though Naruto's words had amused him. "You should come and observe. See what it's all about. I'll give you the rule book and you'll have to sign a standard membership agreement, and we'll set up a night for you to come."

Naruto knew it was the best way to get a feel for the job, but he still felt a little nervous about it. "Doesn't it matter more who writes the book? I mean… I'm just going to take the pictures."

Gaara's lips twitched. "It helps that the author is already a member of the club. He'll be here when you come to observe."

Naruto took the rules book and membership contract to take home and read, and they agreed he'd call Gaara to set up a time for his 'site visit'. Naruto tried not to flinch when Gaara told him to 'dress appropriately'.

* * *

Sasuke put the last pot in the sink while Itachi loaded the dishwasher. Since Naruto had left, Sasuke had started to go up to Itachi's place for their monthly dinners. Itachi hadn't commented about it, letting Sasuke get away with some vague statement about 'taking turns' since Itachi had been driving down for the past two years. Both of them knew the real reason was that Sasuke preferred to not spend time in his apartment on weekends when he didn't have to.

"How is the new team?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke shrugged as he squeezed some dish soap onto the sponge and began to scrub the large pot. "It's not all new. Three of them are the same. We only had to replace the members who worked for our partner company. The transition's still in process, so it's a little hard to tell at this point." Sasuke thought briefly how much his workload was going to ramp up after Neji left. He wasn't optimistic enough to think that Neji's replacement would be anywhere near as good. But Neji had been promoted and the joint part of the project was over, so he'd just have to suck it up.

"Hm. You had seemed pleased with your old team," Itachi mentioned casually.

Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at his brother. Itachi didn't generally ask idle questions, but he didn't see any issue with answering honestly. "The team led from their group was competent. Now that I'm in charge of the whole group, it's more work, but we knew the transition would happen. Neji is training his replacement."

Itachi didn't say anything for a moment, and Sasuke had assumed the topic was done. Except it evidently wasn't. "So you won't be working with Neji anymore."

Sasuke thought it was odd that Itachi had actually used the man's name. He was quite sure he had only mentioned Neji in passing possibly once to his brother. Surely not enough to warrant Itachi's attention. "Not unless our companies decide to collaborate on something again. But Neji has already been promoted, and I will be at the end of the month, so we wouldn't be working together the same way again."

"Hm. He was the one you went drinking with a few times," Itachi mentioned as he loaded the detergent in the dishwasher before setting it running.

Ah. That explained it. Sasuke almost rolled his eyes. Itachi had never grown out of the 'overprotective big brother' phase. "Once. We went drinking _once_ to celebrate his promotion."

"Is he going to return the favor when you get promoted?"

Sasuke rinsed the pot before setting it to dry on a dishtowel on the counter next to the sink. "Maybe. He texted me yesterday about meeting up for dinner but I told him I wasn't going to be in town. It might have been to discuss the final details of transitioning the project over, but I think we've pretty much wrapped that up."

Sasuke could feel Itachi's eyes on him, but he ignored it. Itachi's pager went off on the kitchen counter and both Sasuke and Itachi looked over at it.

"I thought you weren't on call this weekend," Sasuke frowned slightly. As much as he hated to admit it, he worried about how tired Itachi was. He knew that Itachi's career was important to him, but he wished Itachi would slow down just a little. As much as Naruto had complained about Sasuke's hours, they were nothing compared to Itachi's.

"I'm not on call," Itachi said, ignoring the buzz of his pager as he dried his hands then walked over and began wiping down the kitchen table. "They probably looked at the wrong day. They'll figure it out soon enough and page whoever's on call."

Sasuke rolled his eyes at his brother. "According to Mother and Father, you're the only doctor in the hospital. If you need to go in, you can."

Itachi shot Sasuke a glare. "Yet another example of how our parents consistently get things _wrong_ , Otouto. I never will understand why you continue to put stock in anything they have to say."

The words were sharper than usual, and Sasuke paused in the dish he was washing, arching a brow at his brother. Itachi usually had complete and utter control of his emotions. Even a small crack like this was a signal that something was seriously off.

Itachi sighed in an uncharacteristic show of frustration. "You are an adult now, Sasuke. How long are you going to let them shape you? How much more are you going to give up to prove your worth to people whose opinions _don't matter_?" Itachi made an impatient gesture with his hand as he finished cleaning the table and opened up his laptop to check his e-mail and make sure his work schedule hadn't been changed at the last minute.

Sasuke set the half-cleaned pan down in the sink, wiping off his hands as he turned to face his brother. "I'm not giving up anything, Itach'. Do you see me living at home? Spending any time with them?"

Itachi tensed subtly, and Sasuke knew his brother was about to tell him something that was going to really piss him off.

"Just go ahead and say it, Itachi. It's clearly on your mind."

"Fine. What about Naruto?"

Sasuke had to force down any visible reaction to the name. Itachi had tried to talk to Sasuke about it once after the break-up, and Sasuke had made it clear that it was a conversation he was not willing to have under any circumstances.

"I dated Naruto for six years despite our parents disapproving of it. I didn't give him up for them. And besides, _he_ broke up with _me_. It had nothing to do with them."

Itachi observed him for a moment, and Sasuke knew that his brother was reading every nuance of his body's posture, every tightened line on Sasuke's face, to determine how much further he could push this topic. Evidently he misread it, because he continued to speak.

"Naruto had a job in town last weekend and I asked him to come over," Itachi said.

Sasuke's eyes flared and for a moment he felt a wave of betrayal stab through him. "So you decided now that we're over, you can finally make a move?"

Itachi didn't rise to the bait. Sasuke knew that Itachi would never betray him in such a way. "He didn't break up with you to hurt you, Sasuke."

Sasuke gave a derisive snort. "No, of course not. He broke up with me because he just cared so much."

"Actually, you're not wrong," Itachi said, ignoring the heavy sarcasm of Sasuke's voice.

"Fuck you, Itachi. Don't do this. It's done." The heavy, bitter anger was easily heard in the small apartment.

"I know. Naruto knows it's done, too. But don't you at least want to know why he ended it? If for no other reason than to avoid making the same mistakes again?"

Sasuke turned back to the sink and picked up the pan, resuming cleaning it. "No. I honestly don't give a _fuck_ at this point. And I'm not planning on getting into any kind of relationship any time soon. Your approach to 'relationships' clearly works better than mine."

"Don't lie to me, Sasuke," Itachi's voice was sharp, but Sasuke ignored him. He considered just walking out of Itachi's apartment and driving home, even though it was late and the drive wasn't exactly short. But he had missed Itachi in the two months he'd avoided him after the break-up. Why couldn't Itachi just leave this alone?

Sasuke still felt the icy ball in his stomach when he thought about how Naruto had just _left_ , wondering how long Naruto had just been waiting to do it while Sasuke stupidly thought things were fine. The anger and betrayal that twisted through him hadn't faded much. The thought of his own blindness only made him angrier, but mostly at himself. He hadn't seen any of it. How much of their relationship had just been in his head?

"He said that you'd pulled away a long time ago. Shut him out, ignored him. He figured it was only a matter of time until you ended it, and decided there was no point in dragging it out. He expected you to be _relieved_."

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "That's bullshit. If he thought I wanted to leave, why didn't he _say_ that? Or fucking _ask_ me. He knows me well enough to know that I wouldn't stay if I didn't want to. He was probably just blowing smoke up your ass to keep you from killing him. He's been terrified of you since whatever it was you said to him the first time I told you we were dating. Naruto left because he wanted to. He didn't do it for _me_."

Sasuke didn't have to look behind him to know that Itachi was annoyed. "Yes, he admitted that, too. He said he grew up in a house where he felt unwanted, and didn't want to spend his adult life feeling the same way. He thought you would have understood that."

The quietly spoken, unexpected words somehow managed to pierce the thick, comfortable layer of anger that Sasuke had wrapped around himself for the past four months. Had he made Naruto feel... _unwanted_? That… couldn't be right. They had talked a bit about their childhoods. Not in extreme detail, since that was something that neither of them really wanted to dwell on. He knew that Naruto had been in the foster system and had been in a couple of different homes. At least one of them abusive, both physically and emotionally, constantly belittling Naruto. Sasuke remembered the anger he had felt when Naruto had casually (not casually at all) mentioned it. He'd wanted to go find that family and tear them limb from limb. Naruto had laughed, telling him it was no big deal, but Sasuke had seen the undertone of gratitude in Naruto's eyes that Sasuke had cared enough to get angry about it. And not pity Naruto for it.

Sasuke had never belittled Naruto, never called him stupid or told him he'd never amount to anything. In fact, it had been the exact opposite. Sasuke had always pushed Naruto to reach for more. But still, there was something in Itachi's words that cracked the righteous anger that had been protecting Sasuke from feeling anything over the past several months. He thought back to the message Naruto had sent him for his birthday. All Sasuke had felt when he'd read it was anger and bitterness. Now he felt… uncertain.

But there was something else that Itachi had said, something in the way he'd said it that pricked at Sasuke. He rinsed the pot and set it in the rack to dry, turning to face his brother. "What did you mean when you said that 'Naruto knows it's done'?"

Itachi glanced off to the side, and Sasuke had a tight feeling in his gut that told him _exactly_ what that meant. He opened his mouth to ask his brother if Naruto was already seeing someone else, but the phone rang.

Itachi frowned when he saw the caller ID, but picked it up anyway. "I'm not on call this weekend. Check the fucking list."

Sasuke's eyebrows rose in surprise at the terseness. Itachi usually had the ability to maintain a polite facade no matter how angry he was.

Itachi listened for a moment, anger vanishing and a controlled sense of urgency replacing it. "I'll be there in fifteen. Have someone from triage call my cell in five minutes to brief me on the first three cases while I'm driving in."

Itachi hung up, looking over to Sasuke. Before he could draw a breath to offer an explanation, Sasuke spoke.

"Go. It's fine." Sometimes Sasuke forgot that his brother really did save lives for a living, as tired as he was of hearing their parents brag about it.

"There was a ten-car pile-up. The emergency room is flooded and they need me to come in. I live the closest to the hospital." Itachi was already walking to his bedroom to change.

"I'll be here. We can have coffee when you get home." Sasuke had noticed the bag of gourmet coffee beans and had been eyeing it since he arrived.

Itachi's back was to him, so he didn't see the strange expression that appeared on Itachi's face at the comment.

Itachi was out the door in less than five minutes. The door had barely closed behind him when Itachi's laptop chimed. Sasuke glanced over at it. If it was the hospital with more information, he could still catch Itachi before he left. Sasuke swiped the track pad, and Itachi's Facebook page popped up. Sasuke rolled his eyes when he saw that it was just a notification that someone had 'liked' Itachi's latest profile photo.

He was about to close the screen when a recent post caught his eye.

Uzumaki Naruto posted on Uchiha Itachi's page: _Thanks for dinner. And not castrating me. And only tightening the screws just a little bit._

Uchiha Itachi replied: _You're welcome. And don't get ahead of yourself. There's still time._

Uzumaki Naruto replied: _Ok, you need to not joke about shit like that._

Sasuke's lips parted on a soft laugh. He could fully imagine Naruto's slightly worried, slightly joking face during the exchange. He noticed the date was just a few days ago. He knew he should just close the laptop like he had been going to do. Not so much because he was violating his brother's privacy (because Itachi had repeatedly shown in their past that he had no concerns about violating _Sasuke's_ privacy on any and all things). But Sasuke wanted to be clear (to himself) that he didn't care what Naruto was up to. Naruto had walked out, and that was that. Sasuke was _not interested._ He wasn't.

Sasuke's hand drifted over to the track pad again and he clicked on Naruto's name, bringing him to Naruto's page. Since Itachi was 'friends' with him, Sasuke could see all of Naruto's posts and information. He noticed that Naruto now listed his current employer as Sanin Media. His location was listed as 'various couches and hotels - anyone know a good place to rent?'. There were several posts commenting on that. There were some not-so-subtle invitations from people Sasuke didn't even know.

 _My bed has space ;-)_

 _The offer to take you home with me still stands, Blondie_

 _You can pay your rent in trade instead of cash_

Sasuke's jaw clenched. It didn't matter. And he refused to acknowledge that he was glad that Naruto hadn't replied to any of the tasteless offers. But a few of their old college friends had 'liked' a couple of the posts, and it pissed Sasuke off. Who the fuck were they to get involved, anyway? He had noticed right away that Naruto's profile no longer said 'In a Relationship with Uchiha Sasuke'. He remembered when Naruto had put that up back when they were still in college. It had annoyed Sasuke, who never liked to have anything about his personal life made public. But Naruto had some strange need to broadcast to everyone that they were dating. Naruto had been so happy about it and Sasuke decided it didn't bother him enough to actually _object_. Now Sasuke's name didn't appear anywhere on Naruto's profile.

But that was fine. He didn't give a fuck.

Sasuke had never wanted a Facebook page. He was fundamentally a private person. But even without that, he'd had enough trouble with people stalking him in real life and he had no interest in making it easier for people to do so by posting what he was doing, where he was working, or what he was thinking about.

Sasuke continued to scroll down, telling himself that he wasn't interested in what Naruto was doing but somehow his fingers just kept scrolling. Perversely. He didn't want to think about what he was looking for. Most of the posts were either congratulations on Naruto's new job, or comments on a few photos he'd posted. Some of the photos were really amazing, and Sasuke saw that they were from places all over the world. He remembered how nervous Naruto had been when they'd traveled to London together, and he wondered if Naruto had gone with someone or made these trips alone. He wondered if Naruto had been nervous or just excited. If Naruto had been ok.

Not that it mattered.

He saw a post under one of the photos from Bhutan and scrolled past, but then he noticed that Kiba had 'liked' the comment, so he went back and re-read it. His stomach tensed up. It was… subtle. But the pretty girl who had left the comment that mentioned Naruto's stamina was the _only_ comment that Kiba had reacted to.

And Naruto had actually replied.

 _Uzumaki Naruto replied to Fuu's comment Back atcha. Let me know if you're ever in Japan._

Fuu had 'liked' that reply, and so had Kiba. Again.

This time Sasuke did close the laptop. He sat still, looking at the closed surface of his brother's computer.

Naruto was moving on... to some little handmaiden to cook his food and warm his bed. The thought left Sasuke feeling angry and off-balance. Empty. Suddenly, he didn't want coffee. He wanted a drink.

* * *

 _to be continued…_

 **A/N:** Sorry for the delay on getting this chapter out. For those of you who follow me on my website, you already know why so I won't whine about it here. If you want to keep track of where I am on writing the next chapter you can always see the latest status here: Kizukatana dot WordPress dot com.


	12. Neji

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x others

 **Warning:** Some non-explicit voy.

 **A/N:** Thanks to Tandy_Hard and Mykko_Chan for reading through this and encouraging me! *squishes them both* We are now entering the phase of 'other relationships' in the story. I know some of you have been looking forward to it, and some of you have been dreading it. But either way, HERE WE GO!

 **Chapter 12: Neji**

* * *

Naruto's back was killing him. He'd been sleeping on Kiba's couch for almost two weeks. Kiba had made some not-so-subtle suggestions that he could buy a real bed and convert Kiba's junk room into the extra bedroom it was designed to have been. Before his trip, Naruto would have taken Kiba up on that offer immediately. Naruto had never liked living alone. His worst childhood memories had either begun or ended when he was alone. Over time, it had become almost a phobia. He felt safer when he was surrounded with friends or even acquaintances. The more the better. He had never really examined _why_ he felt that way, he just brushed it off as that he was 'social' and liked people. But his four months of forced solitude, as stressful as it had been, had made him come to terms with some of his fears.

He was no longer _afraid_ to be alone. At least, not as much. He still liked the company of his friends, but he also had learned that he actually… _liked_ moments to himself, as well. He almost looked forward to the evenings when Kiba had to work kennel duty and would come home late. He also recognized that it was something that he needed to get better at. Maybe Sasuke was right and Naruto _had_ been needing too much from him. Maybe 'normal' people didn't need as much attention as Naruto did. He didn't know if he could really be as aloof and independent as someone like Sasuke, but he wanted to at least try to find some middle ground.

Naruto clicked through the online listings. He had saved them into two sets. The first were listings for a roommate in someone else's apartment, the second were apartments where he would be living on his own. Naruto looked at the list of single apartments. Maybe he was finally ready for this. He was an adult now. He was able to take care of himself and the things that had happened to him as a child would never happen to him again. He was more than capable of handling himself in a fight. He was able to buy and cook food for himself if he was hungry. He had found out that he could be alone and still be alright.

His stomach twisted as he recognized one of addresses on his list. It was in the same apartment building as the one he had lived in with Sasuke. He deleted that one immediately. Aside from the fact that it was too expensive, he knew that he couldn't handle living in the same building as Sasuke now that they were split. He would be constantly looking for him, constantly wondering if Sasuke was alone at night or with someone else. It would make him crazy and possibly turn him into a stalker, neither of which seemed like a good idea.

Naruto spent the next few days viewing the remaining apartments on his list. There was one that he liked and the rent was manageable, but there was no parking anywhere nearby for his car. Since a lot of his work wasn't in the city, relying solely on mass transit wasn't going to work. The second-to-last apartment on his list ended up being perfect. They had parking for a reasonable fee and it was in a good location. If he really ended up hating living alone, it would be no problem to sublet it and move back in with Kiba.

Naruto walked out of the apartment building, ready to head to the last address on his list. He was jostled as a group of people came out the door from the building next door. He stepped aside, glancing up to see what the place was.

He stilled.

It was one of the restaurants that had made so many appearances in Sasuke's stack of work receipts. Sasuke ate dinner here at least once a week. He was glad it wasn't the restaurant where Naruto had seen Sasuke with Neji. That was not a place he ever wanted to visit again. Naruto glanced inside but it was three o'clock in the afternoon, so the place was mostly empty. Of course Sasuke wasn't going to _be_ there. Naruto stood in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling hot and cold race through him in waves. If he lived here, in this building, he would probably run into Sasuke at some point. Maybe later when they… when they were ready to talk.

It was stupid. Naruto _knew_ it was stupid. He should absolutely cross this apartment building off his list the same way that he had crossed out living in Sasuke's current apartment building. He sighed as he walked to his car. He was going to go check out the last place.

But he already knew that he was going to take the one near the restaurant, even if it was completely masochistic to do so. The apartment wouldn't be available for another two weeks, so he had time to come to his senses.

* * *

Sasuke rubbed his eyes, trying to get rid of the headache he'd had all day as he sat in his new office. Itachi had tried a few times over the weekend to re-start the conversation about their parents, or about Naruto, but Sasuke had shut him down. He didn't want to think about any of that. None of it mattered, anyway. There was no 'fixing' either of those things. Everyone had shit in their lives to deal with… Sasuke wasn't going to pity himself.

He wouldn't let it affect his work.

The walls were bare, but they had been in his old office as well so it didn't bother him. The thought briefly flickered through his mind that Naruto would have likely taken some photos for him to hang on the walls if Sasuke had ever brought him to the office. But, of course, he hadn't. At the time it had made sense. He believed in keeping his professional and private lives separate. He still didn't think there was anything _wrong_ with that, but the bare walls somehow left him feeling slightly uncomfortable. Sasuke swiveled the pen around his fingers as he stared at the notepad in front of him. His desk was ruthlessly neat and organized, as always. He knew he should be sketching out his thoughts regarding the next call he had with the tech analysts. But his mind was stubbornly fixated on the conversation he'd had with his brother over the weekend.

 _"_ _He expected you to be_ _relieved_."

The Itachi's words kept replaying themselves no matter how many times Sasuke tried to shut them off. Sure, Naruto had complained about Sasuke's long hours in the beginning, but he had never told Sasuke that he thought it meant that Sasuke was wanting to end their relationship. Being unhappy about something was different than being ready to end a relationship over it, and Sasuke still felt betrayed and blindsided by it. The anger Sasuke felt that Naruto hadn't confronted him about everything was still there.

But woven into that anger, he also felt threads of... uncertainty. Had Naruto really thought that Sasuke didn't want him, or had he just said that to appease Itachi? Sasuke considered it for a moment. Naruto wasn't a liar. He wouldn't make up something like that just because he was afraid of what Itachi would do. Naruto might be a lot of things, but a coward wasn't one of them. But how could Naruto _not_ have seen that part of the reason Sasuke worked so hard was to take pressure off Naruto until he found his footing in his new career? They were both young and just starting out. This was the time in life that you were _supposed_ to work hard and pay your dues.

Sasuke rubbed his thumb and forefinger over his brows, trying to relieve some of the tension there.

 _"_ _You are an adult now, Sasuke. How long are you going to let them shape you? How much more are you going to give up to prove your worth to people whose opinions don't matter?"_

Itachi thought that Sasuke was still trying to gain the approval of their parents. Sasuke's jaw clenched at the familiar bitterness fill him at the thought of all the years, all the _effort_ he had put into trying to get something from them other than general indifference to his existence. Nothing he had accomplished had never changed anything, never mattered, and he had promised himself when he had finished college that he was fucking _done_ trying to please them. But no matter how much he resented his parents, it was hard to really walk away from it all. Was he still doing it, chasing something that he was never going to have?

Sasuke clenched his hand around his pen before throwing it across the room.

It was easy for Itachi to tell Sasuke to stop caring about what their parents think. Itachi had never gone unnoticed, never had to feel like no matter what he did, it would never be enough. Itachi had been bathed in praise and adoration from their parents since he was born. What could he possibly understand about what Sasuke felt?

There was a knock on the door and Sasuke carefully schooled his expression to its usual emotionless mask as the door opened and Neji stepped in.

"Busy?" Neji asked, his eyes skimming over the neat stack of papers on the desk before settling on Sasuke's face.

Sasuke shrugged. "The usual," his voice was low and even, giving no outward sign of the turmoil he'd felt seconds before. "I thought you were running your new team now. Bored already?"

Neji smiled slightly, then pointedly looked at his watch. "My new office has a window, so I suppose that's good. But it's dinner time now. Past time, actually. I sent my new team home and thought I'd swing by."

Sasuke's team had also left for the day; he was just finishing up his work before heading out himself. He hadn't been hurrying, though… there was no rush to get back to an empty apartment.

"I thought maybe we could grab dinner together," Neji continued casually, though something about the way Neji watched him intently belied the tone.

"My team's already left for the day, so if there was something about the transition that you needed to discuss," Sasuke put a slight question into the statement. They both knew the handoff had gone off without a hitch.

"No," Neji replied, his voice amused. "I wasn't wanting to have dinner with the team. I wanted to have dinner with _you_."

Sasuke paused, his eyes sharpening as he looked at Neji. This was far from the first time that someone had asked him on a date but he hadn't expected it from Neji. Their relationship had always been strictly business, at least to Sasuke's mind.

"We aren't working together anymore. There would be nothing unprofessional about it," Neji continued, his voice calm as though the outcome was fine either way.

Usually, Sasuke's automatic answer would be a rather forcefully delivered 'no'. As a general rule, he found people who hit on him annoying and he especially didn't like to mix his professional and personal lives. But he and Neji were no longer colleagues. Neji worked for a different company, and now that the joint project was over, they really weren't likely to run into each other much except for at an occasional conference.

Aside from the occasional nights when Sasuke woke up alone in his bed, tangled in sweaty sheets and achingly hard from annoying dreams, he hadn't really thought about sex, much less dating. Work had been insanely busy for the past four months. Sasuke had been promoted and had started getting more and more attention from outside his company lately. He'd made the top ten for 'Ones to Watch' on up-and-coming talent in the tech space in one of the major trade journals. He had head-hunters calling him now, offering him positions in other companies along with people in his own company courting him to switch divisions.

At work, he was successful and fully in control.

He wasn't sure that he was willing to open himself up again by dating someone. At most, he'd considered going to a club and spending the fifteen minutes it would take him to pick someone up, but even that was more intimacy than he really wanted to deal with at the moment. He wasn't sure he was ready for anything more than friendship at this point. Possibly friends with benefits, but he wasn't even really sure about that.

He would have to be blind to not notice how attractive Neji was, but it wasn't something he'd let himself think about at all. But now here Neji was, standing in his office offering… something that went beyond work.

"Just dinner," Neji said, as though reading Sasuke's thoughts. "And we can discuss the possibility of anything else if we want, or it can just stay dinner."

Sasuke hesitated. Naruto was moving on. Sasuke had no intention of staying celibate for the rest of his life. Neji was someone he had something in common with, and could see himself being attracted to. Not the out-of-control attraction he had felt for Naruto, but maybe that was a good thing. If Sasuke ever _did_ have a relationship again, he would make fucking sure it was one where he was fully in control of his emotions this time. Itachi had told him to learn from his mistakes with Naruto, and Sasuke fully intended to. He would never date someone who could rip him open wide the way Naruto had. Even from the first day Sasuke had met Naruto, there had been something that seemed to get under his skin like no one ever had.

* * *

 _Sasuke glared at the blond student who was sitting two rows away from him in his Introduction to Asian Studies class. He didn't know what it was about the other student that had drawn his attention, but there was something about how the blue-eyed boy had walked into the room joking with another student. Sasuke had felt his stomach heat in a strange flash of annoyance. Usually, he was quite adept at simply ignoring those around him and focusing on his studies. Being plagued by throngs of admirers from grade school through high school had armed him with a fairly impressive ability to shut people out or at least intimidate them into leaving him alone. He shot a glare at the blond, but the boy didn't even glance at him. Somehow the easy grin on the tan face and the negligent way that the blond had sprawled into his chair next to his dark-haired friend had seemed to set Sasuke's teeth on edge._

 _He tried to suppress his annoyance at the distraction. The class was just a random elective Sasuke had taken because it didn't interfere with any of his engineering courses and would complete his credits for the semester. As he felt his eyes drawn once again to the two friends talking loudly and somewhat inappropriately, he wondered if he should have chosen more carefully. Not only would he have to sit through boring lectures on bullshit he didn't care about, but he was going to have to deal with annoying distractions. It was only the first day of class and he already knew he was going to hate it._

 _"_ _No, I'm serious, Shino. The guy's name really is_ Fuck That Bitch: _P-h-u-c D-a-t B-i-c-h. He posted his Australian driver's license and everything. Facebook just took his account down because they thought it was a prank. They haven't seen that many Vietnamese names, I guess, because I knew a Vietnamese chick once whose last name was Bich. Remember Dat Ho who worked in the coffee shop? People joked with him all the time about it, but it was the dude's real name."_

 _"_ _You are dissatisfied with the unusualness of your own name, Naruto? Though I do agree that being named after a ramen topping is not as provocative as having one that could mean something obscene in another language," the boy wearing sunglasses sat down in a much more orderly fashion than the blond, who Sasuke had just learned - though he had NO interest in doing so - was named Naruto._

 _"_ _Kiba was talking about changing his name to Phuc Dat Bich," Naruto snickered._

 _Shino, shrugged infinitesimally. "He will pussy out. Why? Because Hana won't hire him if he takes a name that sounds like Fuck That Bitch. Her clinic has some English-speaking clients. And Kiba is terrified of his sister, so he will obey her."_

 _Sasuke narrowed his eyes at the warm, compelling sound of blond's laughter as he made some emasculating comment about this Kiba person. He tried to shut out the annoying banter, but his eyes were inexorably drawn back to the blond._

 _"_ _Still, how great would it be if that were just your REAL name?" Naruto opened his backpack to pull out his notebook, though they still had a few minutes before class started._

 _"_ _It's not his real name, dumbass," Sasuke said, not sure why he'd felt the need to comment. Sasuke lounged back in his seat as he watched Naruto's head snap around to glare at him, blue eyes hot and intense. Sasuke felt a small flash of adrenaline at the sight. Usually people were intimidated by him. This boy wasn't._

 _"_ _What the fuck do you even know about it?" Naruto retorted._

 _Sasuke shrugged casually, glancing over to where their teacher was already starting to write out an overview of what the course syllabus would be._

 _"_ _It's obviously a fake name he used on Facebook just to yank their chain or get traffic on his site. Any idiot could see that," Sasuke pretended to look bored, though was intently watching out of the corner of his eye as Naruto's body stiffened in anger. Everyone in Sasuke's old school knew to avoid any sort of verbal debate with him, since he had earned a reputation early on of being able to pretty much eviscerate anyone who crossed him. Sasuke decided that the reason he felt a rush of exhilaration when Naruto narrowed his eyes at him was simply due to the fact that it had been a long time since anyone had taken him on._

 _"_ _Yeah, well even if he made it up, it's funny as hell. Thank god not EVERYONE out there is a kill-joy dickwad who just likes to butt in on random conversations," Naruto had shifted in his chair to be directly facing Sasuke now. All the students within earshot were avidly watching the showdown between them, something that - as the semester went on - would become a regular occurrence._

 _"_ _And people who insist on having annoyingly stupid conversations in public should expect to be called out on it," Sasuke responded, turning to face Naruto fully as well._

 _Naruto was just about to retort when a pretty girl with pale blonde hair sitting in front of him turned and spoke to Naruto._

 _"_ _I think it's real. I mean, you said that he posted a picture of his driver's license, right? That proves it's true." She placed a hand on Naruto's arm in what Sasuke supposed she was hoping to pass off as 'being supportive', but with the way her fingers curled around the contours of Naruto's bicep, it looked more like 'groping' to Sasuke._

 _Naruto blinked and looked over at her, as though he'd forgotten she was there. "What? Oh, um…," Naruto shifted, and Sasuke realized that - despite what Naruto had said earlier - he obviously knew just as well as Sasuke that IDs can be faked, but he didn't want to insult the girl who was trying to help him out. "Thanks."_

 _"_ _My name is Shion," she gave Naruto a coy smile. "I heard that we have to pair up in this class for the first project. Would you like to be my partner?"_

 _Sasuke felt a flash of annoyance as Naruto looked over to Shino, who shrugged in apparent approval. Five girls immediately came up to Sasuke to ask him to partner up with him after hearing Shion's statement, and Sasuke told himself that the reason he felt so annoyed was because the stupid girl had given everyone else the idea of trying to use the assignment as an excuse to hook up._

 _The teacher chose that moment to start class, and Sasuke forced himself to not look over to where the annoying blond boy was sitting._

* * *

Sasuke realized that Neji was still waiting for his answer. Neji was interesting and attractive, and they had a lot in common professionally. He was actually exactly the type of person Sasuke had thought about when he had started college and briefly entertained the notion of whether or not dating would interfere too much with his courses. Then he'd met Naruto and all thoughts of anyone else had been blown from his mind, but maybe his first idea had actually been the right one. The all-consuming nature of his and Naruto's relationship clearly hadn't been something that could last.

"Dinner," Sasuke agreed. "I have to send out one more e-mail."

Neji nodded, pulling out his phone to check his own e-mail while he waited, without the huff of impatience that Naruto had always given him when Sasuke was working late and still had things to finish up.

* * *

Sasuke looked up from his wine glass to see meet Neji's gaze. Dinner had been good. They had fallen into talking about work and their new responsibilities. They were both in similar roles in their companies and had majored in the same thing in college, so conversation came easily. It actually didn't feel particularly different from any of the other dinners that they'd gone out to when they were working together, but in a way that just made it easier.

Sasuke rubbed his hand over his brow, the stress of work not really fading since it was all they had been talking about all evening. He thought about the upcoming analyst meeting he hadn't finished preparing for and the tension behind his eyes reminded him he would have to be up late that night reading.

"Headache again?" Neji asked.

"Hn," Sasuke said, taking a sip of his wine.

"Have you had your eyes checked recently? You've been getting headaches a lot. It could be stress, but it might be eye strain."

Sasuke paused, trying to remember when the last time was that he'd had them checked. It had probably been back in high school. All the late hours of reading through simulation outputs and circuit diagrams probably hadn't helped. "My brother got contacts when he was about my age. I probably should get them checked."

"You have a brother?" Neji asked the seemingly simple question, but they both knew it was more than that.

This was the first time so far in their evening where the conversation had taken a turn towards something that wasn't work related. Normally, Sasuke simply would change the subject and ignore the question. Having worked closely together for many months, Neji was perfectly aware of that fact. If Sasuke had no interest in anything other than a professional acquaintanceship with Neji, this was the time to signal that. Neji was giving him a way to turn him down without it becoming an issue with their friendship.

Sasuke didn't know what Neji was expecting of him, though. Occasional shared meals and possibly sex was about all Sasuke was willing to offer, but it seemed crude to put it bluntly like that. And he respected Neji too much to risk insulting him.

Neji studied him, tilting his head to the side. "I don't have any siblings. Just two cousins. They are both female, though, so the head of our family is looking for me to carry on the family name at some point."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow in surprise. Neji had clearly asked him on a date, but he was now basically telling Sasuke he was not really available. While there had been some recent laws that made the ban on gay marriage possible to get around in Tokyo, gay marriage was still not really accepted. Especially not by the old school society types that he assumed Neji's family came from.

"My family knows I'm gay," Neji continued. "They weren't exactly happy, but they accepted it eventually. My mother explained to me that it was quite common for the men in the family to seek the services of a Geisha after they were married to a socially acceptable person, so my sexuality shouldn't be an issue." There was an acerbity to Neji's voice that showed Sasuke exactly what he thought about that.

"And their wives didn't have any problems with that?" Sasuke already knew the answer to the question, but he knew that this was a conversation that Neji had brought up for a reason.

"I would say in most cases they were actually happy that their husband's… needs… were taken care of elsewhere," Neji said drily. "I don't think the women were any happier in the arranged marriages than the men were. Most considered it an honor to be married to a man important and wealthy enough to be able to have a Geisha."

"Hn," Sasuke said, taking a sip of his wine. If ever he had felt any envy of the elite families, this certainly put a dent into that. Though he himself had never had any intention to marry, he was grateful at least that he wouldn't have to go through with it just for his family's connections or standing. It was, perhaps, the first time he could remember feeling slightly grateful for his parents' disregard. "So when will your parents be selecting your bride?"

"Two years," Neji replied, the slight tension in his voice the only sign that he was not entirely happy with the arrangement. "I may or may not have a say on anything other than her age. I told them she can't be more than five years older or younger than me."

Sasuke just looked at him for a moment. "So you're going to just go along?"

Neji made a small, dismissive gesture with his hand, as though this was an argument he'd had with himself many times before and was no longer worth rehashing. "It's part of the price of being a Hyuuga. I've always known I would have to, so it doesn't bother me the way it probably would someone else. My family is at least progressive enough to give me leeway until then. I can pursue any relationships I wish, as long as I am discreet."

Sasuke thought about what it would be like to have no expectations of any other sort of marriage or long-term relationship. Sasuke had realized at a relatively early age that he had no interest in women, so he had never expected to marry. Given the role model his parents had provided on 'family', he really hadn't wanted to, even if it had been legal. Until he met Naruto. For the first time Sasuke had thought about actually having someone other than his brother in his life on a permanent basis, though he clearly had had no idea on how to make it actually work. But that had ended now, and it was not a mistake that Sasuke was ever planning on repeating.

He supposed that what Neji was looking for wasn't really that different from what Sasuke's own boundaries were.

"So you're not looking for a serious relationship," Sasuke stated, wanting to clarify what it was that Neji was actually wanting.

"I'm not looking for something completely casual, either," Neji's look intensified somewhat, and there was something that flashed across Neji's face that Sasuke would almost characterize as wistful before it vanished. "But... obviously, I am not in a position to have a long-term relationship, either, given my family's expectations of me."

Sasuke considered the implications of this. Neji was being completely transparent about what he was and wasn't offering. He knew that Sasuke had just ended a long-term relationship, but Sasuke still wanted to clarify that point.

"Work is my main focus right now. So I'm also not looking for anything serious," Sasuke took a sip of his wine, then made his decision. "My brother's name is Itachi. He is six years older and practices medicine, and generally tries to manage all aspects of my life."

Neji blinked at the abrupt change in topic, then smiled as he realized its implications. He relaxed back in his chair somewhat. "Somehow I can't really imagine you being 'managed' by anyone," he said, clearly amused at the thought.

Sasuke's lips curved. "That's only because you've never met Itachi."

Neji chuckled.

He didn't catch the slight darkness behind Sasuke's words, but it didn't matter. The only one who'd ever seen behind his mask had been Naruto, and Sasuke was perfectly happy to keep a bit of distance between himself and his next lover.

* * *

Naruto had made the executive decision to _not_ tell Kiba he was going to a sex club. Partly because Gaara actually _had_ asked him to sign an NDA, so he wasn't going to talk out of school about any of it, but mostly because Kiba would definitely try to get him to wear something insane, then pump him for details about his night at a gay sex club.

Even though he was going to The Sand tonight, he was still working. Which meant he wasn't going there to get laid, which meant he needed to _not_ dress like a total manwhore. Ever since he and Sasuke had broken up, Kiba had been doing anything he could to get Naruto some action and this would just have been too good an opportunity for Kiba to pass up.

Still, Gaara had told Naruto to dress appropriately, presumably to not stand out like a sore thumb and make people uncomfortable. Naruto looked through his clothes. He didn't own any leather except a leather jacket, and he was pretty sure it would be way too hot for that in the club full of people dancing and… doing… other stuff. So the jacket was out.

Naruto had replaced most of his jeans after his trip since they had been too worn out and loose. He had a pair of tight black jeans that he figured were his best bet. Unfortunately, most of his shirts were either T-shirts or button-downs, and he wasn't really sure which would be the most appropriate.

Naruto had googled the club to try to find out more about it. It didn't appear to be a pure BDSM club, but it did have 'theme nights' and there were definitely private BDSM rooms available. It was discreet, though. There were no flashy advertisements or photos of the inside at all. Only a brief description of the hours and a few comments in the most general terms about the place. There was no way to become a member without a sponsor and the fees of membership were not disclosed. It didn't really give Naruto much to go on in terms of what he should wear.

Naruto sighed. The club looked nice, but in the end, it was still a sex club. So probably the button-down shirt was out.

Even though he wasn't going there to draw attention to himself and get laid, he needed to blend in enough to get a feel for the place and get a sense of lighting, spacing, and the subjects in his work. He decided on a black tank top that was worn and a little bit too tight and finished it off with a black leather boots. They were actually work boots that he had bought to replace the pair he had trashed hiking through a jungle in Belize, but since they were still new they actually looked pretty good with his jeans.

And he definitely wouldn't look like he was trying too hard. Hopefully he'd just fade into the background and he could focus on his work.

* * *

Naruto pulled into the underground parking garage for the club that Gaara had told him to use. The lot was mostly full, which didn't surprise him. It was after eleven at night, but Gaara had told him that things really didn't get going until around midnight on the weekends. The club didn't have an official closing time, but usually Gaara shut things down around three. All of Naruto's camera equipment had been left at home, per Gaara's instructions to just 'observe'. Naruto wished he'd at least been able to bring his light meter to get a better sense of what he was going to be working with, but he knew that Gaara didn't want anyone to be on edge. Privacy was strictly enforced at the club for obvious reasons.

Naruto walked over to the entrance, feeling suddenly very nervous about whether he would be under-dressed or over-dressed once he got inside. He almost regretted not asking Kiba for advice, but he knew Kiba would have tried to dress him into red leather hot pants and a fishnet shirt or something and Naruto was NOT going to try to work in anything like that. The bouncer at the door must have been given Naruto's photo, because he just nodded at Naruto and let him in, not even asking to see his ID.

Naruto wasn't sure if it would be more accurate to say he could _hear_ the music or _feel_ the music as he stepped into the ground floor of the club, the heavy base hitting him as he stepped inside. The lights were low, some of them flashing with the dark beat of the music. Naruto wasn't an expert in music genres, but the music definitely fit the club. It was dark, sexy, and pulsing with an underlying edge of 'dirty' that made Naruto's tongue run along the inside of his teeth before he realized what he was doing.

He blinked as his eyes adjusted to the low light, the heavy, erotic atmosphere washing over him. He looked around, but didn't see Gaara right away. He supposed the club owner probably had many things to do other than escort a photographer around on a busy night. Naruto decided to make his way over to the bar and get some juice. Having a drink in his hand would hopefully make him stand out less and feel less awkward. He felt eyes turn to him as he walked in and hoped it was because he was an unfamiliar face in a relatively exclusive club.

The place was packed and it was slow going to get to the bar as he eyes moved over the crowd. Naruto had had _some_ idea of what to expect in a sex club, but the reality was still a bit jarring. He was no stranger to regular clubs, and had definitely seen his fair share of people dry humping on a dance floor and the occasional blow in the bathroom. But what he _hadn't_ seen (outside of pornos) was people actually fucking on a black vinyl bench just to the side of the dancing... or people walking around on leashes, though most weren't.

He didn't let his gaze linger too long, since he didn't want to look like an idiot for staring. He supposed the difference between watching two strangers fuck in a porno versus seeing it live was that there was no airbrushing or staging or getting the lighting just right here. While there were lots of extremely attractive men in the room, there were also just… average men. All of the flaws or imperfections in their bodies and movements made it seem somehow even more raw, more intimate. This wasn't staged. People were having sex because they wanted to, not because they were being paid to.

And they wanted to do it in a place where people could watch.

There was a dark-haired man pounding into a younger man with sandy-brown hair in an alcove on the side of the room that Naruto was walking past. They were both reasonably fit and attractive, and Naruto found himself watching them briefly as he walked towards the bar. The dark-haired man happened to look up and catch Naruto's gaze on them. He gave Naruto a knowing smirk, increasing the force and tempo of his thrusts, letting his eyes fall half shut, watching Naruto watch them.

Naruto felt his face heat and looked away, embarrassed at having been caught looking, though he didn't know why he should be. They wouldn't have been having sex in public if they hadn't _wanted_ people to look. And there was no denying the darkly glittering look in the man's eyes when he made eye contact with Naruto. Being watched was totally getting the guy off, possibly even more than the guy he was fucking. Or, at least, it was a big part of it.

Naruto would be lying if he said the idea didn't send a sort of dark thrill through him. He briefly thought about what it would have been like to fuck Sasuke in an empty alcove while people watched them. He still wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle other people seeing Sasuke like that, but there was something about staking a claim on someone in such a public way that made his blood heat. It wasn't the reaction he'd been expecting of himself given how possessive he had always been with Sasuke in the past. He probably would never have been able to share Sasuke that way. Not that it mattered anymore, since they were no longer together. Sasuke clearly wanted nothing to do with him anymore.

But Naruto was trying to move on, and he had to admit that the scene here intrigued him.

He pulled himself back from those thoughts. He was here to work, not get off, and he needed to focus on the task at hand. His job tonight was to get a feel for the space and what sort of lenses and possible supplemental lighting he might need to get the best photos. Having a flash go off constantly would definitely be disruptive and probably annoying, and he was pretty sure Gaara wouldn't be happy about that. He looked up at the light fixtures. The way they flashed and dimmed would definitely make things trickier, but he was always down for a challenge.

He reached the bar and ordered some orange juice, hoping it would be the same kind Gaara had offered him in his private office. Gaara had told him to stay on the main floor until he could escort him to the other levels. Naruto wondered how long he'd have to wait, but decided he could make good use of the time thinking about how best to capture the atmosphere here in his photos.

"New member?" a low voice came from just behind him. Naruto turned to see an attractive man with extremely low-slung skinny jeans and a mesh shirt that did nothing to conceal the contours of his toned body.

"Nah," Naruto said with an easy smile. "I'm just here to check it out." Naruto looked back over the club, hoping to send a signal to the guy that he wasn't interested. He hadn't asked Gaara what he was supposed to say to people if they asked him what he was doing here, and he didn't want to screw anything up.

The guy shifted slightly in the crowded space, his hip brushing against Naruto's in what may or may not have been an accident. "Looking is fine, but usually experiencing is much better in terms of making an… informed decision. Who was your sponsor?" The man asked, his eyes going unabashedly over Naruto's neck and collarbone before drifting lower along his body.

"Gaara," Naruto replied, taking a sip. The man's head snapped up and he shifted back just enough so that his body was no longer pressed against Naruto's.

"Sorry, man. I didn't know you were here for Gaara," the man's tone had gone instantly from smoky to carefully respectful.

Naruto watched in slight confusion as the man gave a smile then turned and walked back out into the sea of bodies on the dance floor. Naruto turned back to the bar to find the bartender looking at him with raised eyebrows.

"You didn't mention you were here for Gaara," the bartender said. "Drinks are on the house. Let me know if you need anything else."

Naruto opened his mouth to correct the assumption that he was here as Gaara's _companion_ or whatever the word was, but then closed it. He didn't really know what else to say. And it was a little amusing to watch the way people reacted to the idea.

"Sorry I'm late," a now familiarly low, gravelly voice came from behind Naruto. This time, Naruto managed not to jump.

"Jesus, what is it with you and sneaking up behind a guy," Naruto grinned as he turned around to see Gaara standing behind him.

His grin froze as he took in the sight of Gaara. The casual appearance of the man when he'd met him outside the building on a Saturday afternoon was gone, replaced with someone who was confident and darkly sexual. Gaara was shirtless, his lean torso sculpted, the flickering lights of the club casting shadows over the dips and ridges of his muscles. The black leather pants he wore were low enough to show the V of his abs. Naruto forced his eyes back to the man's face, not allowing himself to continue his perusal further down. The smug amusement in the green eyes that were latched on him told him that Gaara knew _exactly_ how attractive he looked.

"So, you gonna show me around this place, or what?" Naruto asked, setting his mostly empty drink on the bar.

Gaara's lips curved slightly. "Of course. Follow me."

* * *

 _to be continued..._

 **A/N:** The Facebook Phuc Dat Bich is totally a true story. It happened just after I finished writing the Daily Ramen and I was SO PISSED that I wasn't able to have Shika write a column on that, so I had to work it in there LOLOL.

There will be more and more flashbacks of Sasuke and Naruto as we get into this part of the story, since both of them will be thinking about their lives apart and comparing them to when they were together. Especially Sasuke. Which I am REALLY looking forward to. ;-)


	13. New beginnings

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x others

 **Warning:** Graphic descriptions of flogging. Voy. Implied off-screen sex.

 **A/N:** Extra special thanks to Tandy_Hard for her amazing help on the club scene. I couldn't have written this without you, luv!

* * *

 **Chapter 13 -New beginnings  
**

 _"So, you gonna show me around this place, or what?" Naruto asked, setting his drink on the polished bar._

 _Gaara's lips curved slightly. "Of course. Follow me_."

The low tone of Gaara's voice seemed to go right through Naruto, and he was proud that he kept his eyes locked firmly on Gaara's and did not let them slide south over the exposed, leanly muscled torso as they turned back towards the dance floor.

They spent time on the main floor, Gaara speaking only to answer Naruto's questions, allowing Naruto to simply watch the crowd as people came, met, flirted, danced, and - in some cases - did much more than dance. Naruto looked up again at the series of light fixtures throughout the club.

"Is the lighting always set the same, or does it vary?" Naruto asked, shifting closer to Gaara could hear his question over the music in the club. He ignored the fact that he was now close enough to smell the subtle scent of the man, forcing his mind to stay focused on the job rather than on the undeniably attractive club owner.

Gaara followed his gaze briefly, but Naruto could feel when the man's eyes returned to him, even though Naruto didn't let himself turn to meet them as he continued to look up at the lights.

"The rhythm of some of the lighting is tied to the music, but the overall light level stays about the same," Gaara's low voice carried somehow through the background noise in the club, reaching Naruto's ear and vibrating through him.

"And the colors?" Naruto asked, keeping his voice all business as he glanced over at the man beside him.

Gaara nodded. "They can be varied. Are there any colors that would work better?"

Naruto shrugged, looking back up at the lights. "Red would be pretty cliché. I think blue would be good. Or just a blend of colors, like you have going now."

"I can arrange for blue."

Gaara led them upstairs to see the parts of the club Naruto had not seen before. Despite his best efforts, Naruto found his gaze grazing over the defined muscles of Gaara's back skimming over the hips and ass that the black leather fit snugly against before resolutely returning to the back of the man's head and firmly staying in place as they went up the curved staircase. This was _work_ , not play, and Naruto was not going to make an ass out of himself just because they guy he was working with was insanely hot.

The second floor was filled with private 'theme rooms'. Most were in use, but Gaara showed Naruto one that appeared to be something straight out of Victorian era England and another that looked like the bedroom of a Japanese Shogun.

There was a large, open room that had several beds, all of which were occupied, with spectators watching from the sides. It had almost the same feel as some of the college parties Naruto had been to, with people hooking up all over the place, so there was nothing really unusual about it except for the fact that there were no women. He supposed it would make sense that the club would cater to people who liked it public as well as people who liked it private. He didn't really find this floor as interesting as he did the first floor, but he understood its purpose.

The ground floor had more stories to tell as he'd watched people coming in, starting to lose themselves in the atmosphere, the hesitancy of meeting someone new in some cases, or the boldness of meeting someone you'd been waiting to see all week. There was a lot more for Naruto to work with there.

Gaara seemed to notice Naruto's relative dismissal of this floor. "Let's go. There's one floor left."

Naruto nodded and followed Gaara down to the main floor, walking past the crowded bar to a heavy wooden door. He had noticed people coming in and out of the heavy door throughout the evening. The people wearing the collars or leashes often pulling large, expensive-looking leather suitcases.

Gaara opened the door and Naruto looked down to see stone steps with a wrought iron railing. While the lighting in the rest of the club had been low, it was considerably darker in this part of the club. The door closed silently behind them and cut out all sound of the main floor of the club. The lights on the side of the stairway resembled medieval torches, though obviously they were electric lights.

The stairs opened out into a large room, with rough stone floors and a few leather chairs. There was another door to the left of the room where a line of people dressed in red and black leather, some of them sitting at the feet of their companion, waiting in line while an extremely tall man with tattoos on the right side of his face was checking ID's and looking down at a tablet that Naruto assumed was a 'members only' list. The guy looked like he could more than handle himself in a fight even if the entire line of waiting member rushed him. Naruto figured that was probably a good look for the guard to a BDSM dungeon, which it didn't take a genius to realize this was despite never having been into one before.

Gaara didn't bother with the line. The man saw them approach and opened the door, nodded respectfully at Gaara before looking assessed at Naruto.

"Is he being added to the list?" the bouncer asked Gaara.

"Not tonight, Baki. He'll stay with me," Gaara replied.

The man's eyes reflected curiosity but he said nothing as he let them pass through.

Naruto had pretty much known what to expect when he had seen the outfits of the people waiting in line to get in, and the room didn't disappoint. It was filled with various pieces of equipment and - unlike the rooms above which vaguely smelled of sweat and sex – a trace of the colder scent of antiseptic. There was what looked like a medical examination table complete with restraints attached to it on one side of the room, a set of steel shelves to the side that appeared to have something on them but Naruto couldn't tell what they were from this distance.

He could probably guess, though.

There was what looked like a steel beam suspended from the ceiling, but instead of the beam being square, it looked like the top was angled - not quite to a point - but certainly not flat like a regular beam would be.

The middle of the room was taken up by a small stage, and above the stage were metal bars and a set of pulleys that Naruto wasn't quite sure how they would be used. Naruto was about to ask Gaara about them when the man spoke.

"There's a scene going on. We can talk about the equipment later."

He led Naruto past what appeared to be a pair of stocks. Naruto noticed that there were baskets of what looked like clean towels and disinfectant wipes and spray near each equipment station. He supposed that made sense and also explained the slight antiseptic scent in the air. As they walked further into the room, he noticed a door that seemed to lead to some sort of shower room as well.

Most of the people in the main room were gathered on the far side where Gaara was leading Naruto. All Naruto could see from this distance was the mirrored walls, but as he got closer he saw that there was a slender man strapped with padded leather cuffs to wrought iron posts that appeared to be part of some sort of caged version of a bedframe. Except instead of a frilly cloth canopy above, there were metal bars.

The bound man's face was partially concealed by a blindfold but Naruto could see the rest of his face reflected in the mirrors on the walls of the enclosure. The man was completely naked, his lithe back arched up as he hissed out the smallest of sounds as he was struck by a lash of leather strips attached to a thick, short black handle.

The weapon was wielded by a taller man with a slightly heavier, muscled build. He was dressed all in black, from his leather pants to his gloves to his long-sleeved silk shirt. While he was clearly aware of the audience watching him, his attention was focused solely on the man bound to the bed in front of him.

Naruto couldn't quite make out what the taller man murmured as he brought the lash down again, but it had sounded oddly… gentle. Naruto had certainly experimented with light bondage in the past. He and Sasuke had played a little a few times with a basic set of handcuffs that Naruto had bought as a half-joke for Sasuke's birthday back in college. It had been just for fun… not on the same level as this. The man brought the lash down again and Naruto flinched a bit at the sharp sound of the supple leather striking the pale flesh of the bound man. He could see the way the man on the bed bit his lip to hold back a groan, and Naruto felt his stomach clench at the memory of what leather felt like striking bare flesh.

He tried to shut out the memories that the sharp sound of the strike had evoked. He'd had more than one foster father or mother who'd been more than happy to take their belt to him. As Naruto got older, beltings had turned to beatings. He felt his gut twist and churn, forcing himself to remember that what he was seeing now was _not_ the same thing. Both participants in the scene here were _willing_.

"You ok?" Gaara's question was spoken low so others couldn't hear. Naruto didn't take his eyes off the pair in front of him, but gave Gaara a short nod, his lips tightening into a tense line.

The pair here had clearly been going at it for a while, because the tied man's slender back was already red with multiple marks criss-crossing his back. The pale, sculpted shoulders trembled and Naruto was sure he could see wetness coming from under the man's blindfold.

Naruto had always been a fan of rough and dirty sex, but he had always liked it best when both sides were equally aggressive, equally desperate. This dynamic was just… totally different. He tried to ignore the sight of the marks the leather tails of the flogger were leaving on the man's flesh. The worst injury Naruto had ever given or received during sex was bruises from fingers gripping too tight or hip bones pounding too hard and possibly the occasional bite mark, but nothing that broke the skin except for a few scratches.

He watched in a somewhat horrified fascination as the leather strips came down on the smooth skin again. The red welts that had been there before now showed specks of blood coming through. Naruto's hand clenched. Why didn't the guy tell the dom to stop? Naruto didn't know much about BDSM culture, but _everyone_ knew about safe words. The sub was _crying_. Why didn't they stop this? Naruto's stomach felt tight and he glanced at Gaara, wondering if he would intervene. Calm green eyes looked back at Naruto, totally unperturbed. None of the observers seemed concerned at all as they watched on. Naruto had read in the rules that Gaara had given him that it was _strictly_ not allowed to interrupt a scene under any circumstances. Naruto had to fight down the urge to call out and stop them. _No one_ could like that, could they?

As if in answer to his question, the man on the bed arched up as much as his restraints would allow, cum spurting out in ribbons as he came in waves. Naruto could only watch in something between shock and relief as it happened, the man holding the leather-tailed flogger finally lowering his arm, murmuring something softly to his sub. Naruto felt a bit shaky as he drew in a slow breath. There would be no more blows. It was over. The dom reached down and gently undid the blindfold, and the man on the bed looked back over his shoulder at the guy who had been working him over. The sub's eyes were glazed and unfocused, but there was no denying that he was absolutely _glowing_ with pleasure.

The dom was bending down now, a single finger stroking the man's cheek before he was undoing the restraints then turning to spray something over the red welts across the bound man's back.

Naruto looked over to find Gaara still watching him intently.

"It's not about violence," Gaara's voice was low. "It's about trust. Knowing your partner's needs and limits. And trusting your partner enough to know that will take you to the space you need to be, but not cross the line."

Naruto tried to absorb this as he turned back to watch the scene finish up. The tension he had felt had faded now as he pushed his childhood memories back into the corner of his mind that he tried to avoid as much as possible. He found himself thinking instead about the scene he had watched. There hadn't been any actual _sex_ , despite it clearly being sexual. Which was weird to Naruto, but he couldn't deny the evidence of the tenderness on the dom's face, nor the blissed-out expression on the sub as he lay down, relaxing as the numbing spray eased the aches of his body before the endorphins and adrenaline wore off. It wasn't the same sort of emotion that Naruto felt when he'd had sex with his partners in the past, but there was an intimacy and... _trust,_ he supposed - borrowing Gaara's word - that was unmistakable.

The crowd dispersed, some disappeared down a corridor that held what Naruto guessed to be private rooms, others moving over to make use of the equipment in the open room. Naruto lingered to watch the pair as they relaxed after the session. There was a familiarity between them that spoke of an ongoing relationship. This was definitely not their first time here together. It was beautiful, in a way. He wasn't sure he could ever bring himself to actually _injure_ a lover, even if they wanted it, but it was very different from what he had expected. The man on the bed looked over his shoulder as the taller man brushed his hand gently over the injured flesh. The intensity of the look between them was unmistakable and Naruto's fingers ached with the wish that he'd had his camera with him to capture it.

"Let's go back to my office," Gaara stated calmly. Naruto simply nodded his mind filtering through the images of the club and its patrons that he wanted to capture. He knew that Gaara would be asking certain members of the club if they would be comfortable being photographed, and Naruto really hoped that this couple would be among them.

* * *

As they walked back to Gaara's office, Naruto's nerves grew. The club owner hadn't _seemed_ annoyed, but Gaara wasn't the type who wore his emotions on his sleeve. Naruto was pretty good at reading people regardless of how closed-off they were, but he hadn't known Gaara for long, and there was no doubt that they were ending the little 'tour' early. He wondered if his minor freak-out in the BDSM room would cause Gaara to cancel the photo shoot. He bit his lip as he watched Gaara unlock the door to his office, leaving it open for Naruto to follow him in.

Naruto stepped inside, raking his fingers through his hair. "Um… we didn't see any of the other rooms down there," Naruto began nervously.

Gaara shot him a look as he closed the door. "Sit." The order was clear in the tone.

Naruto walked over and sat in the same chair he'd sat in during his first meeting with the enigmatic club owner. Gaara sat as well, reaching into a drawer on his desk and taking out two shot glasses and a large, ornate bottle labeled ' _Blanton's'_ filled with amber liquid.

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "That's not orange juice."

Gaara poured two shots, giving Naruto an amused look. "It's not noon this time."

Naruto accepted the glass that was nudged his way, letting it rest on the table between his fingers while he looked at Gaara. The man leaned back in his chair, the strong, slender fingers bringing the small glass to his lips and tipping it back before returning it, empty, to the table.

"You want to talk about what happened in the dungeon during the scene?" Gaara asked, his voice inflectionless.

"What? No, I mean, it's fine I just - ," Naruto cut off when Gaara leveled a 'don't bullshit me' look at him. Sighing, Naruto followed Gaara's example and emptied his glass. He set the glass on the steel of Gaara's desk, looking intently at the few drops in the bottom as though they held the answer to Gaara's enquiry. Finally, he looked up to meet Gaara's steady, green gaze. "Yeah, well. Let's just say I didn't have the best childhood. And the sound of leather hitting flesh isn't really a sound you really forget."

Gaara said nothing as he poured them each another drink.

"Will this be a problem for you?" Gaara asked, no judgement in his voice.

Naruto shook his head. "No. I mean, it was a shock. I've never… seen anything like that but by the end…," Naruto gave a lopsided smile. "Let's just say it was more than clear that - even if it isn't _my_ idea of pleasure - it definitely seemed to be _theirs_. Like you said, what happened there wasn't about violence or wanting to hurt someone." Naruto finished his second shot with a slight grimace.

Gaara tilted his head to the side as he took a sip from his glass. "You hide it well, you know."

Naruto blinked, feeling his body tense. "What do you mean?"

Gaara gave a casual shrug. "The darkness in you. You hide it well. Most people who look at you see someone happy and cheerful and totally comfortable in his own skin."

Naruto laughed as he looked off to the side of the room. "Yeah, and what makes you think I'm not?"

Gaara looked steadily at him until Naruto met his gaze. "Because I know what to look for."

Naruto shifted in his seat, feeling unsettled. He was comfortable with the happy-go-lucky mask that he wore, and didn't want to take it off for someone he just met. "Wasn't I supposed to meet the author or something tonight?"

Gaara sighed, but allowed Naruto to change the subject. "Yes. But he's late, as usual. It might actually be better if you take the photos first. That way, it will be through your own eyes, with no influence of anyone else."

"And that would be a good thing?" Naruto asked, surprised.

"The book isn't for the people who already belong to the club. It's for people who don't. I want you to show what _you_ see… the things that you are drawn to. You have a unique way of humanizing things. I want to see what you come up with on your own."

Naruto blushed slightly at the praise, relief flooding him that he hadn't blown it with his past briefly messing with his head when they were watching the scene.

"And if you fuck it up, we can always do another shoot with Kakashi coaching you a bit," Gaara said drily.

"Tch," Naruto made a sound of offended annoyance that both men knew was fake. "So this Kakashi guy is the author?"

Gaara nodded. "But he is already very familiar with the scene. He has a depth of understanding that helps with the writing, but the photos need to be from an unbiased eye."

Naruto gave a slight smile. "Thanks, for not… uh…" Naruto trailed off, not really sure how much he wanted to say. _Thanks for not firing me? Thanks for not assuming I was judging the sex thing and instead realizing I was having a minor personal freak-out?_

Gaara looked at him intently for a moment. "You interest me."

"Heh," Naruto blushed slightly, rubbing the back of his head. "You own a freaking sex club. Comparatively, I'm really not that interesting."

Gaara took another small sip of his drink. "I think you are."

When Naruto went back to Kiba's place that night, Gaara's words played in his head. It was the first time he'd managed to fall asleep without thinking about Sasuke since they'd broken up.

* * *

Sasuke looked around Neji's well-appointed apartment as he watched Neji pour the wine. It was his first time seeing it. They had been going out to dinner together once or twice a week for the past three weeks but had always gone to the upscale restaurants Neji favored. Neji hadn't pushed for anything more, though he had made it clear he had been interested in Sasuke as more than colleague for quite some time.

Sasuke was content to keep things ending at dinner at first, wanting to make sure that Neji wasn't going to turn into some clingy stalker once things had shifted between them (it had happened more than once in Sasuke's past, before he'd started dating Naruto). Neji had remained as calm and put-together as always, their dinner conversations shifting only marginally from what they used to be when they were working together.

When Neji stopped by Sasuke's office Friday night to wait while he finished his work, Sasuke decided that they'd waited long enough. When Sasuke asked Neji if he wanted to eat in instead of going out, Neji had paused, then simply pulled out his phone and placed a take-out order from one of the restaurants that they frequented, suggesting they bring it back to his penthouse. Sasuke had been relieved at the choice of venue. He wasn't ready to let another lover into his bed. He had only just gotten used to not seeing Naruto's things around his apartment and he had no desire to repeat something like that experience any time soon.

The food was predictably excellent, though it was the same that they would have had if they had gone to their usual restaurant directly after work as they had on all their other dinner dates over the past few weeks, but neither man had the time to cook something different. They sat in Neji's living room after finishing their dinner. Sasuke sipped the wine Neji had poured, his third glass of the evening. It was a good vintage, as expected. Neji had high-end taste in most things. His clothes were always elegant and understated. His choice of food impeccable.

A comfortable silence passed between the two men, neither feeling the need to fill the void with endless chatter. They were both reserved, driven men, their keen intellects pushing them ahead of their peers in anything they put their minds to. Sasuke watched as Neji took a sip of the wine, noticing the slight tensing of his throat as he swallowed. Sasuke shifted his legs slightly wider apart where he sat on Neji's well-appointed leather sofa. Neji didn't try to pretend not to run his eyes along the lean length of Sasuke's body.

Sasuke arched an eyebrow at the blatant perusal, and Neji only smiled confidently. They both knew why Sasuke had suggested dining in, and neither was the type to beat around the bush about it.

"I think we've more than checked the box on the 'getting-to-know-you' stage of things, don't you?" Neji asked him, his voice husky as he locked his gaze with Sasuke's.

Sasuke let out a small laugh, the wine having relaxed him enough to do so. It would figure that even Neji's invitation for sex would be as refined and tasteful as the man himself. Sasuke knew that Neji had been waiting for a while, but he hadn't wanted to rush into another relationship, even if it was just a casual one. Sasuke had no problem with solitude and felt no burning need to immediately fill the void that Naruto had left. But it had been months since Sasuke had had sex, and he was reasonably sure Neji hadn't had time to play the field much, either. At this point, there was nothing holding them back. They were attracted to each other and compatible. It wasn't like either of them were romantic virgins waiting for some grand declaration of love.

Sasuke set his half-full glass of wine down on the coffee table. Neji smiled at him slowly, his fingers elegantly holding the stem of his glass as he turned and walked from the living room toward the hallway. Neji looked over his shoulder, lifting an eyebrow in invitation before continuing down the hall towards what Sasuke assumed to be the man's bedroom.

They had both waited long enough. Sasuke shut down any thoughts that sex was supposed to be different than what was about to happen. He felt none of the overwhelming _need_ to possess Neji that he had for… he cut himself off from finishing the thought. This was fine. This was _better_. Friendship, lust, and a common set of expectations.

Sasuke could handle this. He smirked as he stood and followed Neji down the hall, watching the way Neji's pants pulled against his ass when he walked.

. . . . . .

Sasuke carefully withdrew as he rolled off Neji, the sounds of their harsh breathing fading quickly in the luxurious bedroom. Their bodies had a slight sheen of sweat on them, but otherwise there were no physical markings of what had just transpired. Sasuke felt somewhat disoriented. It had been six years since he'd slept with someone other than Naruto. He hadn't expected it to be the same, of course, but he also hadn't expected it to seem so… different.

"Mmm," Neji sighed with calm satisfaction. "That was good. Definitely worth the wait."

"Hn," Sasuke murmured, his eyes falling on the relatively tidy pile of their discarded clothing resting on the chest at the foot of the bed. Images flashed through his mind of ripped shirts, clothes strewn in a path from the door though the kitchen to the bed in his old apartment, the occasional end table knocked over along the way. His mind traveled back even further to Naruto's dorm room, more than six years ago. It struck him forcibly how different his first time with Neji had been compared to his first time with Naruto. He told himself it was a good thing. He was more in control this time.

* * *

 _Sasuke glanced over to Naruto as they walked out of their professor's office. Thanks to a printer jam, they had just BARELY made the deadline to submit the hard copy of their project, which counted as the final exam for the class and would make up more than thirty percent of their grade for the semester. But it was the last day of finals week and Sasuke was finally done and ready for the two-week break, starting with catching up on his massive backlog of missed sleep Naruto looked just as beat, his usually messy-spiky blond hair looking even more out-of-control._

 _Neither of them had missed the somewhat shocked look their professor had worn when they'd turned in their project without a single argument between them. Most of the semester had revolved around them debating (arguing) just about any point that came up in class. Both Naruto and Sasuke were well aware that many of their fellow students had taken bets on whether they'd manage to turn the paper in and ace it or kill each other and fail spectacularly when they had been paired together for the final project._

 _Sasuke and Naruto had ended up assigned to each other when the professor had decided to stop allowing people to choose their own partners anymore. He had been annoyed by the constant disruptions to his lecture on the days when project partners were chosen as several girls argued over who would get to be Sasuke's partner. The instructor had told everyone to sit the hell down and announced that he would be pairing everyone up alphabetically instead. He pulled out the class roster and began reading down the list, assigning the project teams as he went. When he got to Uchiha, he paused and glanced up before sighing then read out the next name on the list: 'Uzumaki'. The class went utterly still for a moment before Naruto let out a loud groan and thunked his head down on his desk with a string of colorful cursing._

 _It had only gotten worse when the instructor had announced that the subject for the final project would be "Family Dynamics in Japanese Culture". The instructions were to balance library research with everyone's own personal experiences and stories to show the 'cultural variation' of family dynamics within their group. Sasuke was sitting a few rows away from Naruto, but he had seen how the blond's body had tensed when the topic was read. It had pricked his curiosity, since the blond had seemed like the kind of guy who would love to talk all about shit like that. But instead, Naruto had just turned and given Sasuke an icy blue glare as though somehow the topic had been his fault._

 _It was amazing that they hadn't killed each other on the first day of the project. Even more so on the second, though they had come close. Sasuke wasn't sure which one of them had hated the topic more, him or Naruto, but it had been like slow motion torture when they had to sit down and talk about any of it._

 _The subject had thrown them both for a loop and they had gotten kicked out of the library three times for arguing in just the first week. Their walls had been fully up, and the last thing either had wanted to discuss was why they didn't want to 'share' about their family and how it had shaped them. The fourth time they'd gotten evicted from the library, Naruto had dragged Sasuke to a bar near campus that was known for being lax about checking IDs._

 _They'd talked that night._

 _Not a lot, and definitely not about everything. But enough that they were at least no longer trying to kill each other when they met up to work on the project the following day (though the librarian continued to glare at them whenever she saw them). When they managed to stop bitching at each other about everything, surprisingly it had almost… been... fun. Something Sasuke had certainly never expected. Naruto had pulled his own weight on the paper, too, and Sasuke had been moderately impressed. He was used to having to basically take over most team projects in order to ensure he'd get a good score._

 _But now that they'd turned the paper in, their brief partnership was over. It was the last day of class and Sasuke told himself it was RELIEF that he was feeling that - on a campus this large - he would probably never see the annoying blond again. They had only ended up in this class together by chance. He didn't know what Naruto's major was, but it definitely wasn't engineering._

 _They walked out of the building and headed back across campus. Sasuke's dorm was on the east side, near all the science and engineering buildings, and Naruto's was in the center of campus._

 _They had both been slowing their steps as they got closer and closer to the place where Naruto would turn down one path and Sasuke would continue along the other. Sasuke felt his irritation inexplicably building._

 _"You packed yet for break?" Naruto stopped walking and asked, looking over towards where his dorm was. Usually Sasuke could read the expression on the blond's face, but at that moment he couldn't._

 _Sasuke adjusted the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder. He wasn't going home for break. The best day in his life was when he'd moved out of his parents' shitty house and got the fuck out of there. He didn't have any money to go on a vacation anywhere else, so he'd gotten permission to stay in his dorm for the break. But it wasn't something he was going to discuss with anyone. It wasn't anyone's business that his parents were just as happy to see him out of their hair as he was to leave._

 _Sasuke just shrugged. "I'm just going to go back and sleep."_

 _Naruto had that unreadable expression on his face again and seemed to hesitate for just an instant, but then he nodded. "Kay. See you around, then."_

 _Naruto turned and started walking towards his dorm. Sasuke watched him walk for a few seconds before he remembered something. "Oi, Naruto," Sasuke began, and Naruto stopped and looked back at him. "Did you return the books to the library?"_

 _Naruto blinked, patted his satchel then cursed. "Fuck. I must have left them on my desk back in my room," he raked his fingers through his blond hair tiredly. Sasuke found himself wondering if Naruto's hair would be soft or stiff. Looking at it, he really wasn't sure. "I'll turn them in later tonight."_

 _"Tch," Sasuke started walking towards Naruto. "They're checked out on my card. I'll turn them in myself. I don't need a fine if you sleep through library hours and forget. They're due today."_

 _Naruto sighed grumpily. "Sasuke, I'm fucking exhausted. I promise I'll turn them in tonight. I just need to go crash for a few hours before I go out tonight to blow off some steam. I'll swing by the library on my way out before it closes."_

 _Sasuke didn't really know why he suddenly was determined to get his books right then, but he was too tired to waste time debating it. The books were checked out on his card and therefore they were his responsibility even if he had loaned them to Naruto for his part of the project._

 _"No. Let's go," Sasuke said gruffly, earning a beleaguered eye roll from Naruto._

 _"Whatever."_

 _It was a short walk to Naruto's dorm, the halls basically empty since most students had already left for the break. Sasuke had never gone to Naruto's dorm room before. They'd always met on neutral ground to work on their project then gone their separate ways. Naruto opened the door to his room, dropping his book bag on the floor with a tired sigh._ _Sasuke looked around the small room, noticing that one of the beds was stripped of any sheets or blankets._

 _"You have a double to yourself?" he asked._

 _"Nah. My roommate's already left for break. He took his sheets home to wash them there, thank god. I don't think he'd washed them for the entire semester," Naruto wrinkled his nose as he walked over to his cluttered desk._

 _Sasuke hummed as Naruto picked through the pile of books on his desk to take out the ones that Sasuke had checked out on his card. There was a six-pack of beer next to the books, likely Naruto's contribution to whatever 'end of finals week' party he was planning on going to that night. Sasuke supposed Naruto must have a fake ID if he was able to buy alcohol, but his thoughts were cut off by Naruto's grumbling._

 _"You know, I am going to be going to the library tonight anyway to drop off the books I'd checked out as well. I would have taken yours back, too," Naruto said, still sounding a bit annoyed._

 _Sasuke watched as Naruto leaned further over the desk to grab a book that was against the wall, his eyes taking in the trim waist and toned, rounded ass that was hugged tightly by Naruto's faded jeans. It wasn't like Sasuke didn't already know that Naruto was good-looking. But he had never really let himself dwell on it because Naruto was DEFINITELY not Sasuke's type. Sasuke liked order and control in his life and Naruto was… a force of nature._

 _Sasuke ran his tongue over his lower lip and turned to look at the clock that was on the wall by Naruto's bed._

 _"Hurry up. I don't have all fucking day," he said tersely._

 _"Don't get your panties in a twist. It's not like I was expecting company and had all this shit organized. Not all of us are perfect little study robots like you."_

 _"Obviously," Sasuke snapped, feeling that twisting irritation that he always seemed to feel whenever he was around Naruto, like an itch under his skin that he was not allowed to scratch. He noticed an orange towel crumpled on the floor beside Naruto's bed. "That would require you to possess some degree of organization."_

 _"God, you're such a prick," Naruto grumbled as he pulled the final book out of the pile on his desk. "Here are your fucking books," Naruto handed Sasuke the books, then leaned back on his desk in the same cocky posture that had gotten under Sasuke's skin from the moment he first saw Naruto. "Hopefully, next semester I won't have professors who pair me up with asshole partners for the fucking team projects."_

 _"Tch. This project is probably the only A you're going to get your entire college career. Consider yourself lucky you got paired with me, dumbass." Sasuke slid the books into this pack, knowing what he said wasn't true but hoping it would piss Naruto off, anyway._

 _Naruto frowned and levered himself away from the desk, shooting a glare at Sasuke. "I got A's on all my other papers for this class, bastard. And I didn't have to put up with all kinds of bullshit with my other partners, either."_

 _Sasuke's brow creased at the thought of how that blond chick, Shion, had practically glued herself to Naruto's fucking hip during the first project. He still didn't want to think about why it had pissed him off so much at the time._

 _"Probably traded sexual favors to avoid doing any of the work. You're just annoyed that I made you work for it," Sasuke responded, enjoying the familiar way Naruto's eyes lit with anger at his words. Naruto had actually done a decent job on his part of the project, though Sasuke had no intention of actually admitting it. It would be proven out when they got the paper back what their professor thought about the different sections._

 _"If you got laid by something other than that icicle you've got shoved up your ass, maybe you'd be able to relax a little. Speaking of which…," Naruto gestured to the door. "... I have plans tonight that don't include arguing with assholes about their library books."_

 _Sasuke glanced scathingly at the beer on the table, feeling inexplicably angry at the thought of Naruto going to a party and hooking up that night. "Yeah, I'm sure you do."_

 _"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Naruto asked, looking even angrier as he took a step towards Sasuke._

 _Sasuke hadn't even meant it as an insult, but after an entire semester of poking at each other, Naruto clearly assumed it was._

 _"You don't work harder than me, Sasuke," Naruto's voice was edged with anger as he shoved a finger hard into Sasuke's chest, forcing him to take a half-step back. "I didn't spend the whole semester partying, if that's what you're trying to say. Finals week was hell. I'm stressed and exhausted and I've gotta keep my fucking scholarship, and I just want one night to -"_

 _Sasuke wasn't quite sure what happened. He had grabbed Naruto's wrist, tugging it aside to get the annoying finger off his chest. He had meant to let the wrist go and tell Naruto that he'd jumped to a stupid assumption about what Sasuke was trying to say. But somehow, he found himself tugging on Naruto's wrist and pulling him closer, instead. Naruto's body bumped against his as blue eyes widened into a look of shocked wariness an instant before Sasuke was leaning in and kissing him. It was just a hard press of his lips against Naruto's. He drew back slightly, fully expecting Naruto's fist in his face. But the blond appeared frozen, his body pressed against Sasuke's tense but making no move to pull away._

 _Sasuke blamed the extreme stress of finals and lack of sleep for his next actions as he pulled harder on Naruto's wrist, drawing him even closer as his other hand gripped the nape of Naruto's neck and brought their mouths more forcefully together. Sasuke moved his dry lips against Naruto's moist ones, feeling how full and soft the mouth was despite the hard words it was capable of forming. The thought made him suck firmly against the pink lips before pressing in again, his only thought was that he was kissing NARUTO's mouth. The mouth that had pissed him off and driven him crazy from the very first moment he'd met him._

* * *

Sasuke felt Neji stir beside him, breaking him out of his thoughts of the past. He scrubbed a hand across his face. He needed to get his shit together, not be thinking of his past lover while he was in bed with his current one.

"I have an extra pair of pajamas, if you'd like to stay the night," Neji offered smoothly. His tone of voice gave no indication as to whether he had a preference on the matter or not.

"No," Sasuke said, standing. "I have to be in to the office early tomorrow. I'll just take a shower and head out."

Neji nodded, looking neither surprised nor displeased. "There are clean towels on the shelf next to the shower."

Sasuke nodded, then went to wash up. The towels were all neatly folded, in perfect order, exactly where Neji had said they would be.

Sasuke stepped into Neji's spacious shower, easily washing away the evidence of what had just transpired, his mind still shifting between the present and the past.

He wondered where Naruto was.

And if he was alone.

* * *

 _To be continued..._

 **A/N** : This chapter was cut in half because my lemons are always stupidly long. Next chapter is 85% written, and will pick up from when Sasuke goes home. The flashback will continue, if anyone is interested in what Naruto and Sasuke's first time together was like? ;-)


	14. Memories

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x others

 **Warning: This chapter was edited to remove the sex scene per FF's Terms of Service (and a complaint from a reader).**

 **A/N:** So I know most people view canon Sasuke as cold-hearted, but I actually view him more as… closed off but very emotionally fragile. He keeps people out because he can't handle emotions, not because he doesn't have them. That is an important nuance for people to just know to make sense of probably the rest of this story. Sasuke will come off as OOC if you view him as someone who truly has no emotion. Thanks as always to Tandy_Hard for reading this over for me!

* * *

 **Chapter 14 - Memories**

Sasuke drove back to his apartment, the moon was full overhead, a fall wind starting to blow. His eyes were trained on the road as he worked his way through the evening traffic, but he wasn't really concentrating on it. He kept his mind carefully blank, not thinking about what had just happened. He didn't _need_ to think about it. It was no big deal. His body felt loose and satiated, the typical after-effects of sex. It had been a long time, he thought vaguely, careful not to connect any specific memory with that statement.

He didn't want to think about the last time he had sex. And everything that he thought it was that it hadn't been.

Sasuke parked his car and went inside. The apartment was just as he left it. Nothing out of place. The kitchen hadn't seen much use of late, so its emptiness was no surprise. Somehow, the orderliness felt more sterile than satisfying that night as he removed his shoes and hung his jacket up by the door.

His phone buzzed and Sasuke picked it up, seeing a text from Neji.

 _I had a great time. Dinner at my place on Wednesday?_

Sasuke felt the automatic masculine pride at being able to please his lover, evidenced by the fact that Neji had barely waited until he was home to text him. Neither man felt the need to be coy or play games and it settled some of Sasuke's edginess. There was nothing complicated here.

 _Sure. I'll bring the food this time._

Sasuke knew Neji enough to know that there would be no further reply... Neji was never one to waste words. He went to his bedroom, checking his clothes to make sure he didn't need to do laundry before the next day. He had moved his suits to the empty half of the closet that used to have Naruto's clothes, but there was still more hanger space than what he was using. Everything was hung precisely in its place, no clothing on the floor or in the corners, no sloppily folded T-shirts preventing the drawers from closing.

Sasuke walked past the small linen closet in the hallway that led to his bedroom. He refused to think about the orange towel that was sitting inside, cleaned and neatly folded.

His mind went back to the events that had transpired at Neji's that evening. Neji's bedroom had been equally orderly. Both men were reserved and organized. Structured in their approach to life. While Sasuke had never really put much time into thinking about dating before he met Naruto, if he _had_ thought about it, he probably would have imagined himself eventually with someone like Neji. They had the same career interests and the same priorities around putting work first. In the weeks that they'd been dating, Neji had never once complained when Sasuke was late or had to cancel. Just as Sasuke had never complained when Neji was held up.

Sasuke undressed and got ready for bed, having already showered at Neji's. He felt like he was rationalizing his relationship with Neji to himself, and it annoyed him. He had nothing to explain. Neji had made it clear that there were no expectations between them. Honestly, Sasuke wouldn't have had sex with him if that hadn't been true. He was tired of trying and failing to meet other people's expectations. Fuck all of them. Neji was direct about what he wanted, and had put boundaries on things from the very beginning. This arrangement suited both of them.

Sasuke folded down the blanket on the bed, slipping between the sheets and adjusting his pillow beneath his head. He stared up at the ceiling, feeling restless and annoyed by that fact. There was absolutely no reason for it. He should be feeling relaxed. Happy. Tonight had shown that - physically - he and Neji were well-matched in addition to everything else they had in common. Neji was an extremely attractive man and a skilled lover. Things with Neji made _sense._ He didn't understand why there hadn't been the same rush that there had been with Naruto, but it was probably a good thing. He didn't want another train-wreck of a relationship like what had happened with Naruto. He wasn't going to get blindsided again. Control was better.

It was what he wanted.

Unbidden and unwelcome, the memories from six years ago in Naruto's dorm room that had plagued him at Neji's house came crashing back. The absolute _last_ thing Sasuke had been back then was in control.

* * *

 _"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?" Naruto asked, looking even angrier as he took a step towards Sasuke._

 _Sasuke hadn't even meant it as an insult, but after an entire semester of poking at each other, Naruto clearly assumed it was._

 _"You don't work harder than me, Sasuke," Naruto's voice was edged with anger as he shoved a finger hard into Sasuke's chest, forcing him to take a half-step back. "I didn't spend the whole semester partying, if that's what you're trying to say. Finals week was hell. I'm stressed and exhausted and I've gotta keep my fucking scholarship, and I just want one night to -"_

 _Sasuke wasn't quite sure what happened. He had grabbed Naruto's wrist, tugging it aside to get the annoying finger off his chest. He had meant to let the wrist go and tell Naruto that he'd jumped to a stupid assumption about what Sasuke was trying to say. But somehow, he found himself tugging on Naruto's wrist and pulling him closer, instead. Naruto's body bumped against his as blue eyes widened into a look of shocked wariness an instant before Sasuke was leaning in and kissing him. It was just a hard press of his lips against Naruto's. He drew back slightly, fully expecting Naruto's fist in his face. But the blond appeared frozen, his body pressed against Sasuke's tense but making no move to pull away._

 _Sasuke blamed the extreme stress of finals and lack of sleep for his next actions as he pulled harder on Naruto's wrist, drawing him even closer as his other hand gripped the nape of Naruto's neck and brought their mouths more forcefully together. Sasuke moved his dry lips against Naruto's moist ones, feeling how full and soft the mouth was despite the hard words it was capable of forming. The thought made him suck firmly against the pink lips before pressing in again, his only thought was that he was kissing NARUTO's mouth. The mouth that had pissed him off and driven him crazy from the very first moment he'd met him._

 _Sasuke NEVER acted impulsively like this and he knew Naruto was probably going to kill him for it, but it seemed completely worth it in that moment. If it totally blew up in his face, Sasuke would likely never run into Naruto on campus again and he could pretend this whole thing never happened. He'd never had anyone get under his skin like this before… his mind was flooded by bits and pieces of all the things about Naruto that had driven him crazy all semester. The way Naruto would sprawl into his desk in the classroom, long, lean legs splayed out in front of him. The way Naruto would always get right in Sasuke's face, ready to argue about anything and everything. The way Naruto didn't even flinch when Sasuke would narrow his eyes and rip into him. The way Naruto's blue eyes had SEEN Sasuke that night at the bar..._

 _Sasuke realized that Naruto was still standing there, frozen, and tried to force himself to let go of Naruto's wrist and step away from him. He braced himself to take the punch that was likely going to be headed his way. But then he felt Naruto's hands sliding along his jaw as Naruto angled his head, moulding his lips more fully against Sasuke's. Sasuke could feel the hot puff of air from Naruto's breath against his face as the abrupt realization that Naruto was actually kissing him BACK filtered into his sleep-deprived brain. He didn't even have time to process that singularly impossible fact before he felt Naruto's body shift forward aggressively, pressing Sasuke back against the dresser._

 _Sasuke was not a man who thought with his dick. Not ever. Sex for him had never been a 'must have'. But when Naruto inserted a leg between Sasuke's and leaned in, bringing the top of his hard thigh up against Sasuke's groin, it wasn't so much that Sasuke started thinking with his dick as it was that he simply stopped thinking entirely._

 _"_ _Fucking FINALLY," Naruto growled, fisting his fingers into Sasuke's hair and tightening them, fusing their mouths together and pressing Sasuke's lips open as he thrust his tongue deep into Sasuke's mouth._

 _They lay joined together panting, sweaty, and utterly sated. Sasuke felt a dark sort of satisfaction that he didn't understand as he noticed that they were both covered in scratches, finger-sized bruises, and hickies. The bed springs hadn't been able to stand up to their efforts, and the thin mattress was sagging down nearly to the floor._

 _"_ _Holy shit," Naruto said succinctly after a few minutes._

 _Sasuke breathed out a huff of a laugh in agreement as his mind slowly processed what had just happened. He turned his head to look at Naruto, unable to shake the odd feeling that this was exactly what he'd been waiting for, though he didn't know for how long… when the waiting had started._

 _"_ _So… since the first day of class?" Sasuke asked, remembering the words Naruto had slurred out as he rode him._

 _Naruto blushed slightly, turning his head to look up to the ceiling as he laughed a bit. "Yeah, well. I'm sure you know how attractive you are, so don't act all surprised or anything."_

 _Sasuke felt torn between smugness at Naruto's words and annoyance that they could have potentially gotten to this point much earlier. "You didn't seem particularly interested until about twenty minutes ago."_

 _Naruto looked back at him, rolling his eyes. "Are you kidding? You shoot down anyone who even looks at you, Sasuke. All semester long. I just figured that if I tried to make a move, I'd be just like everyone else and you'd write me off the same way you did them," he shrugged. "Plus, you are kind of an ass a lot of the time. So, uh… the whole 'wanting to fuck you' thing was sometimes replaced by wanting to beat the crap out of you."_

 _Sasuke couldn't really deny any of that. "I don't like most people." Which was true. In general, it just pissed him off when people tried to get in his pants. Which was a lot of people._

 _Naruto snickered. "Yeah, no shit. But after we got paired up on the project, I mean… I was sort of hoping things would be different."_

 _They looked at each other for a while, neither knowing what to say or where this temporary insanity was going to take them. Sasuke's eyes drifted over to the trail of ruined clothing strewn from one side of Naruto's room to the other. Naruto misinterpreted Sasuke's intentions._

 _"_ _If you leave this room in the next twenty-four hours, I will castrate you," Naruto warned with a thoroughly, deliciously fucked-out voice that sent goosebumps over Sasuke's arms. "I thought about this all semester. We're not done yet. I get my turn next."_

 _Naruto threaded his fingers through Sasuke's hair in a surprisingly gentle caress, so different from their earlier, more frantically violent touches. Sasuke looked into the steady blue eyes, seeing an intensity of emotion there that went well beyond lust. Sasuke closed his eyes, recording the sight in his memory._

 _"_ _Ok. I'll stay."_

 _Sasuke knew he should withdraw before the condom slipped off, but he didn't want to move. He'd never imagined anything like this._

 _But the one thing he knew was that he would never let Naruto go._

* * *

Sasuke turned his face towards the window, the moonlight casting his face in harsh shadows. He told himself that what he had felt back then had been due to teenage hormones, the stress of college, and the euphoria of being free of his parents' disregard for him for the first time. It had been too intense to last. Too intense to be real.

His forced his hands to unclench as he thought about how it had all ended. Itachi might have said that Naruto thought Sasuke was the one to step back first, but that didn't make any sense. They'd always fought things out before. Even the small, annoying shit. It didn't make sense that for the _one thing_ that had mattered most, Naruto had just -

Sasuke shut the useless thoughts down. That relationship was over, and he was in a new one now. It didn't matter anymore. He fell asleep on the right-hand side of the bed, repeating to himself that the relationship he was in now was the one he wanted.

* * *

Naruto unlocked the door to his apartment. It was his first night in his new place and Kiba had helped him buy a mattress and move it in, along with a set of shelves to keep his camera equipment on. He had borrowed a folding table and two chairs from Kiba's sister, not wanting to shop for a bunch of furniture until he was really sure he was going to like living alone.

It would be an experiment.

The apartment was quiet but somehow Naruto didn't mind like he used to when he had been living with Sasuke. He supposed that part of it was the fact that he'd gotten used to being alone over the past several months of traveling around.

After the latest date that Kiba had set Naruto up on, he felt almost grateful for the solitude. He'd forgotten what it had been like to date before he'd gotten together with Sasuke. Naruto liked people. He really did. But most people were so… normal. Stable. Naruto could laugh and joke and entertain them, but he knew he'd never open up to any of them, or be able to relate to them. Not really. After all, how could someone who'd grown up in a loving home with a supportive family their whole fucking life understand anything about Naruto's background, and how it had shaped him? He'd learned from experience that talking about his past with someone like that either resulted in them feeling uncomfortable or - worse - _pitying_ him.

So he'd gone out with the girl Kiba had lined up for him, taken her to dinner and charmed her, then dropped her back off at her house and left. He had pretended to have not seen the signals she'd sent that he would have been more than welcome to come inside.

He sighed, scrubbing his fingers through his hair. He really needed to tell Kiba to stop trying to hook him up, already. Eyeing the stack of unpacked boxes in the corner of his living room, Naruto headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready for bed.

Gaara had finally arranged a group of people who were ok with having their photos appear in Kakashi's book, so Naruto would be going back to the club Tuesday night for the photo shoot. The thought of the enigmatic club owner always caused Naruto to need to draw a steadying breath. He couldn't deny he was interested in Gaara, but right now, he was just there to do a job. Not to mention that Gaara was a _sex club_ owner. What did that even mean, in terms of relationship possibilities? Did sex club owners even _have_ relationships? If they did, Naruto was pretty sure it would be with someone who had a broader sexual repertoire than he did. He still found Gaara interesting, though. Even without the chance of anything more than friendship.

Naruto felt the same flicker of anxiety he'd felt as a child, wondering if he'd always be alone. If he'd ever find someone who actually _wanted_ to be with him. To know him. He shoved the thought away, already wondering if getting an apartment on his own was a good idea.

The thought of Sasuke flickered through Naruto's head as he turned out the light and climbed into bed. He wondered again how Itachi could have been telling the truth that Sasuke had been upset when he'd left. Sasuke had pulled away from him so much that Naruto didn't really think it was possible. Though the look on Sasuke's face the night of the break-up still haunted him.

But it hadn't been working. Nothing Naruto had done or said had made any difference. And in the end, it was better to be alone by choice then it was to be alone waiting for someone who never showed up.

And in any case, it was too late now. It was over and he was sure Sasuke had already moved on.

Naruto rolled over, closing his eyes against the moonlight that filtered through the thin curtains of his new bedroom window. His body curved by habit on the left side of the bed as he fell asleep.

* * *

 _To be continued..._

A/N: - Just as a warning, there will be some drama ahead. I am not totally sure if it will be in the next chapter or not but… there will be some in the not-too-distant-future. Along with many more flashbacks as we move along in the story. ;-)

Also, for some reason I have been listening to "Don't Let Me Down" by the Chainsmokers obsessively.


	15. The confronatation

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **A/N:  
** LOL, so I squeaked this one in JUST under the two week deadline, but the SIN fic I've been posting took priority for a bit given all the amazing support for it. But here it is! And there is angst and drama and things are starting to shift now. FINALLY! Thanks to Tandy_Hard for beta-ing this chapter! *hugs you*

* * *

Chapter 15 - The confrontation

* * *

Naruto tried not to fidget as Gaara looked through the photos he'd taken. He'd spent almost three days picking out the ones he wanted to send to the man, agonizing over what sequence to put them in, which to put in black and white and which to leave in color.

Gaara looked through the photographs, slowly sorting them into what Naruto assumed were 'keep' and 'throw' piles. There were several that he stared at for a long time. One batch in particular seemed to catch Gaara's eye as he looked at the series of photos for several minutes.

"You're amazing," Gaara said at last.

Naruto felt a simultaneous rush of embarrassment and pleasure at the bluntly delivered compliment. He looked over at the photos that Gaara was staring at, trying to see what it was that had caught the man's eye.

"The lighting was pretty good in that part of the club, I guess," Naruto said, moistening his lips with his tongue nervously.

Gaara shot him a look. "I'm not talking about the lighting."

Naruto shifted, unsure what Gaara was getting at. The composition of the photos was okay, but honestly, not Naruto's best work. He'd been so caught up in capturing what was going on with the subjects he was focused on, capturing their expressions and the little subtleties of their body posture that he really had made a couple of technical mistakes in terms of the basic composition of the photos, if he were brutally honest with himself.

"Naruto, I've known these people for a long time. I know things about them that they don't share with outsiders. You were able to capture in minutes what people who have known them for years never see." Gaara studied a photo of the two men who had been in the first BDSM scene that Naruto had witnessed that first night at the club, their eyes locked in a gaze that spoke of tenderness and trust rather than something sordid and perverse. He looked back up at Naruto. "You have a way of seeing into people that is… quite rare."

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck, dropping his eyes back to the table. "Yeah, I guess. I've met a lot of people, so… I learned to read people, maybe."

Gaara looked at Naruto, as though waiting for him to say more, but Naruto didn't elaborate. The truth was, being shuttled around from foster home to foster home had taught Naruto how to read people pretty fast just as a basic survival skill. It didn't necessarily keep Naruto from getting in trouble, but at least when he _did_ get in trouble, he knew it was coming.

But that wasn't something Naruto wanted to talk about. He'd opened up once about it, and it hadn't gotten him anywhere. His mind flickered to Sasuke… fighting back the sharp hurt and dull bitterness that always filled him, knowing it was over. How many months had it been? Naruto had tried not to count. What was he counting for? It wasn't like it made anything better. Just more permanent.

"You say that you've met a lot of people, but you don't look happy about it," Gaara observed.

Naruto grimaced. He'd never had much of a poker face. "Nah, it's fine. I have a lot of good friends, so… it's fine."

"Just friends?" Gaara asked his voice carrying an edge of interest.

"I've been on a few dates," Naruto said casually, trying not to remember how… uncomfortable he'd felt on all of them.

Gaara arched a brow. "They didn't go well?"

Recollections of the girl who had asked Naruto what his favorite color of panties was before they'd even ordered coffee flashed through his mind, followed almost immediately by a vision of his date with the guy who was a total film buff who'd said that 'if Naruto didn't know the difference between a _film_ and a _movie_ , there was no point in considering a serious relationship'. And Kiba wondered why Naruto wouldn't agree to anymore blind dates, regardless of gender. Naruto grimaced. "Uh, I guess I just haven't really figured out what I'm looking for."

"Hm," Gaara hummed skeptically.

"What?" Naruto asked, feeling defensive, though he didn't really know why. He'd already handed the photos over to Jiraiya and Gaara would work with Kakashi to make the final selection of which photos should be used in the actual book Kakashi was writing. Naruto's part of project was done. "I just got out of a really long term relationship. It just… takes a while to get back into dating, I guess."

Naruto realized that possibly Gaara _didn't_ know, given that he ran a sex club and probably didn't have many 'dry spells'. The tiny smirk on Gaara's lips said that he probably interpreted Naruto's slightly flustered expression fairly well.

"And you're looking for another long-term, exclusive relationship?" Gaara asked, sounding honestly curious.

Naruto blinked at him. "Well, yeah. I mean… why wouldn't I be? No one wants to be alone forever, right? It's not like I'm still a teenager and just… screwing around to see how it all works or whatever."

Gaara shrugged. "Being alone isn't always a bad thing. But the choice isn't necessarily between being alone or being in a relationship like the one you had."

Naruto snorted, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. "Yeah, well. Not all of us work in sex clubs."

"Even before I opened this place, I hadn't really seen many relationship that actually worked for any long period of time. Most people stay after a certain point just to avoid being alone, but not because they actually _want to be_ with the same person anymore."

Gaara's words made Naruto's stomach tighten.

"Yeah. Maybe," Naruto said noncommittally. He wished he was better at keeping his emotions out of his voice, sure that Gaara was easily able to pick up on his discomfort.

Gaara didn't seem fazed by it, though. He just leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled as he considered Naruto. "You don't agree?"

Naruto sighed. "Just because a lot of relationships don't work out doesn't mean there aren't good ones out there."

"Really?" Gaara asked, though not in a condescending way. He seemed to be legitimately curious.

Naruto huffed in slight frustration that he couldn't come up with an example, though. Not one he knew well enough to really defend. "I mean… don't you want there to be one person you're really… tied to? Someone you can count on? Someone you knows you better than anyone else?"

Gaara tilted his head to the side, as though reflecting the question. "Why does that all have to be only one person? I don't believe in the idea of a single, monogamous relationship. It makes me… uncomfortable."

Naruto blinked, surprised to have that just… thrown out there like that. Didn't most people _eventually_ want to settle down? "But... why?" His gaze flickered again to the tattoo on Gaara's forehead. "I mean, if you're looking for love, isn't that kind of… hard?"

Gaara's fingers brushed against the tattoo on his forehead. "I think trying to find everything you need to feel 'loved' from just one person is an impossible task. And unfair to place that burden fully on one person."

Naruto frowned slightly in disagreement with what Gaara was saying. "I mean, it doesn't have to be _perfect_ , but… at night, you want to go home to _someone_ , right?"

Gaara shrugged. "Being alone at times is ok if it's your choice. Better than being forced to be with someone you don't want to be with." The words felt like a hollow echo of Naruto's own thoughts from months ago, but he found himself perversely wanting to dispute them. But Gaara was continuing. "The entire idea of marriage and monogamy was developed at a time when people didn't live much past thirty, and the majority of their waking hours were spent simply trying to survive. Now we live triple that. And we have time to pursue interests, hobbies, learn things, travel. It's not just about getting enough food and firewood to make it through the next day."

"Yeah, but… shouldn't that mean that you'd _want_ someone to share it with you? Do all that… travel and hobbies and stuff with you?"

Gaara arched a brow. "Of course. But is it fair to ask _one_ person to share _all_ your interests? People are too different. We all have layers, different sides, different needs. Trying to find someone who can meet all your needs is asking for the impossible. I like to play chess. I like to travel. I like to read political texts and debate politics. I like to tie my lovers up sometimes and suspend them from chains."

Naruto blinked at the image the words presented, and Gaara looked at Naruto… consideringly. Naruto swallowed, remembering to the strange apparatus that he had seen in the lower level of Gaara's club. Gaara had said he would explain how it worked later, but after Naruto's freakout with the flogging scene, they had forgotten about it.

"And in addition to my 'hobbies', I have… difficult emotional baggage. Trying to find a sexual partner who meets all my needs would be unreasonable. So I simply separate them. Compartmentalize them, if you will."

Naruto didn't really know what to say about that. He remembered an anthropology major he'd briefly dated in freshman year who'd said something similar about the antiquated notions of marriage. She had been writing a paper on gender roles and property laws of the middle ages. Most of what she'd described had made Naruto really fucking glad he was born in the current century, but he hadn't really thought about anything she said as applying to him _personally_.

"But, I mean… can't you just have friends for some things, and your lover for others? Like… play chess with a friend but… find a lover who's got the sex stuff covered."

Gaara looked at Naruto for a moment, then asked, "And when you were in this long-term relationship of yours, how much time did you spend with your friends away from your boyfriend?"

Naruto knew that he hadn't. It wasn't something he was proud of, but he had always wanted to spend the time outside of classes and studying with Sasuke. He'd dragged Sasuke to whatever parties Naruto had wanted to go to, or stayed home if Sasuke dug in his heels about it. They hadn't had much money for travel, but if they _had_ , Naruto certainly would never have considered taking a trip without Sasuke.

Gaara continued. "And how do you think your boyfriend would have felt if you spent half of your free time with people other than him, doing things he wasn't interested in? Or if he had done that to you?"

Both Naruto and Sasuke had been pretty possessive about each other back then. Honestly, Naruto already knew he would have been angry if Sasuke had spent a lot of his non-study time with other people. He was pretty sure Sasuke would have felt the same, though suddenly, he wondered. Did other people feel this need to find someone and bind them to them the way Naruto had felt with Sasuke? Is that what had fucked things up between them in the end? Naruto's clinginess? Naruto hadn't wanted just a part of Sasuke. Naruto had wanted _all_ of him. Gaara's words left him feeling uncomfortable.

"But isn't that the point of trying to find someone who shares your interests?" Naruto tried again to find a hole in Gaara's logic.

"Ideally, we could all find a perfect match who shared our interests enough to make things workable, but was different enough from us to stretch us. I just have never seen that work in practice. Usually one person's interests end up forced on the other person, even if it's unintentionally. One person gets their way, the other person… loses theirs." Gaara spoke matter-of-factly, as though this was something that was common knowledge.

"God, that's just… really fucking depressing," Naruto sighed, leaning back in his chair and staring at Gaara with a slightly horrified expression.

"It's only depressing if you have expectations that all your needs have to be met by a single person." Gaara made a small gesture with his hand, brushing aside the idea that this could be distressing.

Naruto looked down at the photos in front of him. There was no denying that the men in these photos seemed… happy. Not lonely. Surely some of them were in committed relationships with each other but Naruto knew from his own observation that many were not.

Was he looking for the wrong things? He didn't totally agree with what Gaara was saying to him but he also didn't have a counter-argument. What did Naruto know about relationships? He'd grown up with none, no parental role models at all. And he'd failed at the only serious one he'd managed as an adult.

"It doesn't mean you can't have lasting bonds, Naruto. It just makes them less strained when you don't subject people to unrealistic expectations. I've had the same chess partner since I was ten," Gaara's voice was still just as inflectionless as always, but Naruto felt like the man was trying to make him feel better somehow. "I just have… non-traditional relationships with the people I care about. They are not shallow, or necessarily short. In fact, many have lasted longer than the average 'committed' relationships I've seen."

Naruto could do nothing but look at Gaara, unable to think of anything to say. Gaara picked up one of the photos, intelligent green eyes taking in every detail.

"It seems we have rather different ideas of what relationships can be. But you said earlier that you weren't sure what you were really looking for. You should think about it, Naruto," Gaara looked up from the photo, his eyes intense. "As I've mentioned before, I find you very interesting."

Naruto froze. Up until now, he hadn't been sure if the attraction he felt for Gaara was all one-sided. But that was… definitely an offer. Naruto quickly went over what Gaara had said. It _was_ an offer, right? But it wasn't really the kind of offer Naruto was hoping for. Sure his dates so far hadn't panned out, and his relationship with Sasuke had crashed and burned, but he wasn't sure he was ready to try something along the lines of what Gaara seemed to be suggesting.

"What side of me, exactly, do you find interesting?" As soon as the words were out, Naruto wished he could take them back. It sounded like he was fishing for compliments but he honestly wasn't totally sure what Gaara was trying to say. If he was trying to say anything at all. Maybe it had just been a comment? Naruto felt a flush of heat crawl up his neck. "I don't mean… It's just that you said you looked for different people for different things, and I wasn't sure what you meant when you said I was 'interesting'," Naruto began, trying to not look like an idiot, but knowing he was only making it worse. He wished his cell phone would magically start ringing so he could be rescued, but it remained mockingly silent.

"Actually, I find many things about you interesting," Gaara answered easily, ignoring the fact that Naruto was basically putting him on the spot about whether he was sexually interested in him or just wanted to play some chess. "I'd like to know more about your background. Your photography interests me. And obviously…" Gaara smirked slightly, his gaze on Naruto darkening. "... I find you physically quite interesting."

Naruto's blinked. _Ok, that was pretty clear._ But he didn't really know how to respond to that. How does one respond to _that_? After the totally depressing conversation they'd just had, the last thing Naruto was ready to do was think about trying to start something tonight.

"I… thanks," Naruto tried to think of something to say that wouldn't sound lame. Luckily, Gaara continued and spared him the embarrassment.

"I am guessing you wouldn't be interesting in joining the club at this point."

"Um, no… I think… it's not really my thing," Naruto paused. "Do you only date people from the club?"

Gaara made a small, dismissive gesture. "'Date' is a strange word. I have sex in the club. I have friends inside and outside of the club. I am not sure which of those you would call dates."

"So… are you asking me to have sex with you, or asking if I want to be friends?" Naruto asked.

Gaara thought about Naruto's question for a moment. "Usually I have no difficulty knowing what I want from someone. With you, I am honestly interested in both."

"Is it… an 'either or' thing for you? Sex or friends?"

"Not always, though - of course - it is simpler that way," Gaara assembled the photos that Naruto had brought back into their folder. "But I would like to see you again, even though the project is over."

Naruto hesitated. "See me… here?"

Gaara's lips didn't move, but Naruto could see the amusement glimmer in his eyes. "As much as I would enjoy that, I am quite sure you are not ready for it yet. I was thinking simply dinner."

Naruto felt some of the tension leave him. Dinner he could handle. "Dinner… as friends?"

"For now," Gaara replied, the hint of amusement back in the man's voice. Naruto wasn't sure what to make of it, but for now, he just took the offer for dinner and friendship at face value. He couldn't handle thinking about more after the conversation they'd just had.

* * *

Naruto jingled his keys in his jacket pocket as he walked down the street to where he'd parked his car. It was still only early afternoon, but the sky was overcast, making it feel later than it was. A gust of cool wind blew, carrying a hint of rain with it.

He was walking past a coffee shop that was near where he'd parked when the shop door opened, the scent of freshly roasted coffee beans wafting out into the street. Naruto paused, the aroma reminding him forcibly of mornings with Sasuke and the strong brew he always drank.

Naruto huffed out an annoyed breath as he pulled out his keys and unlocked his car. "Lots of people drink fucking coffee. Get over it," he muttered to himself, putting the keys in the ignition.

He headed back to his apartment, trying not to think about what Gaara had said. Did Sasuke feel the same way Gaara did? Was one person just… not enough? Both Gaara and Sasuke were… complicated guys. It wasn't something Naruto felt like he could just brush off. He was pretty sure that - at least sexually - he'd met Sasuke's needs but in the end, had that been all it was? The thought made Naruto queasy. It had felt like so much more than that when things had started. Naruto had made casual friends easily, but Sasuke was the first person he ever felt like… he connected with. He had thought at the time that they _got_ each other. Sasuke had been everything Naruto thought about. Obviously, the reverse hadn't been true. But maybe… it wasn't really even anyone's fault. Had Naruto had asked for too much? Did what he want not even exist?

He wasn't ready to contemplate that. He'd grown up in pretty fucked up homes, so it wasn't like he had any real-life examples to look at. Maybe everyone out there that looked so happy from the outside was just… faking it.

God knew _he_ was.

He sat in his car, staring at the steering wheel. He wished he could just talk to Sasuke and _ask_ him. Suddenly, it felt critical for him to know if Sasuke just hadn't been happy with Naruto, or if Sasuke felt the same way Gaara did… that one person would never be able to 'be everything' to him. He just wanted to know if he and Sasuke just hadn't been the right fit, or if the right fit didn't even exist.

Given that Sasuke hadn't responded to his e-mail, Naruto knew he wouldn't take his call, either. Showing up at work or at Sasuke's place was out of the question. He wouldn't pen Sasuke in like that. The restaurant near Naruto's new apartment was public, though. Sasuke could ignore him or walk away if he wanted.

Naruto had been avoiding the place, especially on weeknights when he knew Sasuke might be there with his team from work. He hadn't been ready for a confrontation, but now suddenly he just really needed to see him, even if Sasuke told him to fuck off. He had to try. It was Friday, so he doubted Sasuke would be there that night, but he decided that, on Monday, he would stop in and see. He just… he just wanted to _talk_ to Sasuke. He needed to know.

Normally, Naruto would call Kiba when he was freaking out about something, but Sasuke was still a touchy subject between them. Kiba had never really liked Sasuke, and the break-up had only made that worse.

 _Shika,_ Naruto decided. If anyone could give him an unbiased perspective this mess, it would be him. He decided he'd swing by his friend's house over the weekend and see what he had to say.

* * *

Neji had been right... the bar had good live music. Evidently, they weren't the only people who thought so, given how crowded the bar was that Friday night. Sasuke leaned back against the packed bar, enjoying the smoky atmosphere. It had been way too long since he'd just… unplugged. Dinner or sex after work was fine, but this was the second time Neji had taken him out for a date that didn't revolve around either of those things. It felt… more like a relationship than what Sasuke thought they'd agreed to, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't enjoying himself. It had been a long time since he'd had… fun.

He looked over to see Neji watching him.

"Having a good time?" Neji asked.

Sasuke nodded, taking a sip of his drink. "Yeah. I haven't been here before."

"The bar opened about two years ago. They've had a lot of interesting bands come through."

Sasuke had never really followed the local music scene much. He'd never had the money or the time to do so. He was surprised that Neji was so knowledgeable about it, and it added a layer to his personality that Sasuke found he liked. As Neji was explaining the music to Sasuke, pointing out the things that were the most interesting about the style or skill of the musicians, Sasuke was somehow reminded of when he'd gone to an exhibit of a famous photographer with Naruto. Naruto had been so animated and passionate when he'd described the different series. Neji might not be as overt in his enthusiasm, but Sasuke could recognize it when he saw it.

And he found it very attractive.

Some of what he felt must have shown on his face because Neji finished his drink in one swallow, then leaned in. "We don't have to stay for the final set."

Sasuke smirked, pulling out his wallet to pay their tab while Neji went to the men's room.

His arm brushed against what felt like someone else's elbow and he turned to make sure he hadn't accidently spilled someone's drink.

"Sorry, I -," the man who had bumped against him cut off mid-sentence, brown eyes widening in recognition, then instantly narrowing in hostility.

"Kiba," Sasuke nodded tersely. In the past, Naruto's childhood friend might not have been his biggest fan, but they had at least tolerated each other. It was patently clear by the hostile look on Kiba's face that this was no longer true. Sasuke looked over behind Kiba, feeling a twist of anticipation that Naruto might actually be _there_. But there was no flash of blond anywhere near the man with the triangle tattoos, just a group of people at a table across the room that included an older woman that Sasuke recognized as Kiba's sister and several others that he assumed were either family friends or coworkers.

When Kiba made no response to Sasuke's greeting, Sasuke simply placed the bills he'd taken out on the bar next to his and Neji's drinks.

"Tch," Kiba's derisive snort sounded from behind Sasuke's shoulder.

Not one to back down from a confrontation, Sasuke turned looking directly at him. "Problem?"

Kiba glared at the two sets of glasses. "Nah. I guess it doesn't surprise me that you moved on pretty quick," Kiba sneered. It was clear that the man had had more than a few drinks, but that didn't mean that Sasuke was going to let him off the hook for being an ass.

"Whatever I'm doing or not doing now is none of your business, Inuzuka."

"Yeah, that's right. Just tell everyone to fuck off like you always do, Uchiha."

"No point changing something that works," Sasuke leaned back against the bar, his whole body posture radiating ' _I don't give a fuck_ '.

Sasuke tried to keep his temper in check. It was a good thing that the band was loud and people were minding their own business, but it was still annoying. He felt no need to try to explain anything to Kiba about anything. .

But Kiba evidently had other ideas as he leaned into Sasuke's personal space.

"You _asshole_. Naruto would have done _anything_ for you, and you just -"

"Naruto's the one who left. Don't blame me. Go sober up, Inuzuka." Sasuke turned back to the bar to wait for Neji, but Kiba wasn't done.

"Yeah, Naruto _left_. But only because you made it crystal fucking _clear_ you didn't want him and didn't give a shit. And you knew all the right signals to send, didn't you?"

Sasuke blinked, honestly not having a clue what Kiba was blathering on about. He wrote it up to blind loyalty of a best friend feeling the need to make the 'ex' out to be the bad guy no matter how it had actually gone down. He ignored Kiba and looked over towards the men's room. Neji was just coming out, his eyes finding Sasuke's from across the smoky room.

Evidently Sasuke's disinterest in what Kiba was saying only pissed the man off more, because suddenly Kiba had grabbed him by his shoulder, forcing Sasuke to face him. "You sit there, acting like none of it matters. You were the _only one_ he told that stuff to. He didn't even talk to _me_ about it. Then you just screw him over with it. _Fuck_ you, Uchiha."

Sasuke grabbed Inuzuka's wrists hard, jerking the man's hands off his shirt. "What are you talking about?" Sasuke glared hard at a group of what looked to be college girls who were at the bar next to them, watching with rapt attention when it was none of their fucking business.

"I'm _talking_ about the fact that Naruto told you about the shit that went down when he was a kid. Shit he didn't even tell _me_ about and I was the one who fucking took him to the _hospital_ a couple of times. You think a kid who was shuttled around to twelve different foster homes doesn't know how to read the writing on the goddamn wall when he isn't wanted anymore? _Bullshit_ , Sasuke. Bull- _shit_! You froze him out and ignored him, just like every other fucking family he'd ever tried to find a place with. Only difference was you made him believe at first that he'd finally found a home."

Kiba's eyes were bright with anger and alcohol. Sasuke found himself listening even though all he wanted to do was walk away.

"That's why I hate you even more than I hate those piece-of-shit foster parents that screwed Naruto up in the first place. If you were done with him, you should have ended it like a fucking _man_ and just cut the cord instead of making _Naruto_ fucking do it and have to carry around all the guilt. You're _worse_ , Sasuke. Don't pretend you're not."

Even through his annoyance at Kiba, Sasuke's stomach did a hollow twist at the man's words, not quite fully able to shake off what Kiba was saying as drunken ramblings. But he wasn't going to think about it now. The words that Kiba was hurling at him embedded themselves in his mind, to be sorted through later. He told himself he didn't care and that Kiba was probably just looking to say anything he could think of to make this all Sasuke's fault because _that's just what idiot friends like him do_.

"I don't care enough about what you think of me to pretend to be _anything_ , Kiba. And I certainly I don't owe you any explanations."

Kiba lunged forward to punch him. Sasuke didn't try to rationalize why he simply stood there, making no move to block it or get out of the way.

Before the punch could land, a firm, feminine hand gripped Kiba's arm, wrenching it back. "Kiba, don't be an idiot. You start a bar fight and I'll fire your ass, even if you are my brother."

Neji had reached them by then, too, standing close enough to Sasuke that their arms were brushing as Neji glared at Kiba. "Sasuke, does this... _person_ need some assistance in leaving?" Neji asked.

Kiba shot Neji a scathing look, then glared at Sasuke. "Fine. You're right, Hana. The bastard's not _worth_ it," Kiba spat out, but he let his sister pull him back to a table further away from the bar to the table Sasuke had noticed earlier.

Sasuke's face was still set in its emotionless mask. He barely felt Neji's hand on his lower back, steering him towards the door.

"Come on, Sasuke. Let's go. We have better things to do," Neji's voice was calm and controlled but Sasuke could hear the underlying anger in it. He pulled on his coat, his brain feeling numb as he followed Neji back to his car, Kiba's words echoing in his head.

* * *

Sasuke drove them to Neji's place. He knew he wasn't participating much in the conversation Neji had started about the band they'd just seen but Neji wasn't the sort who would get annoyed about something like that.

Kiba had just been drunk and annoying. Why should Sasuke care how many different foster homes Naruto had been in? That was years ago, and obviously Naruto had gotten through it just fine.

Sasuke's jaw tensed at the lie.

He knew that wasn't entirely true. That was the facade that Naruto put on to fool everyone _else_. It hadn't worked on Sasuke, not after the first project they did together. They had talked a little about their fucked-up childhoods. Not a _lot_ , since it wasn't something either one wanted to discuss pretty much _ever_. Neither man wanted pity or sympathy or _advice_. It was what it was and they'd both lived through it.

He knew that Naruto hadn't had a stable environment growing up. Knew that he'd been moved around a few times, sometimes for pretty bad shit. But _twelve_ homes _?_ It's possible Kiba had been exaggerating. Kiba _always_ exaggerated. But somehow, Sasuke didn't think so. That number had been ripped from Kiba and Sasuke had felt like somehow he'd gotten a peek into Naruto's childhood through Kiba's eyes… Naruto trying to brush off the shit that was always going down at home. Kiba watching from the outside, trying to be supportive and let Naruto handle things the way he wanted. But keeping track. Noticing every bruise, every time there was a new parent dropping Naruto off or a new phone number to reach him at. Never talking about it or asking questions because Kiba would have known that Naruto didn't want that.

Sasuke had never really liked Kiba much. He was loud and crude and only amplified those elements in Naruto when the two of them were together. But for just an instant, Sasuke felt like he understood him and the depth of what that childhood friendship must have been. He felt some of his anger at Kiba fading a little bit.

Though the man was still an annoying drunk.

He sighed as the pulled into the underground parking garage of Neji's apartment building. Sasuke could feel Neji's eyes on him but the man said nothing as they walked up to Neji's penthouse.

Sasuke had been lost in thought and hadn't even started taking off his jacket when he felt Neji's hands slide beneath it.

"I think we had some unfinished business from the club," Neji said huskily.

Sasuke felt his stomach tighten and it wasn't from lust. Sasuke had no idea why, but he found himself pulling away, earning slightly puzzled look from Neji. Sasuke had never turned down sex a single time after they had started seeing each other.

"Actually, I think I'm going to head home." Sasuke was relieved when Neji simply stepped away. He didn't look offended, only slightly concerned but Neji didn't push.

"How about a raincheck for tomorrow," Neji suggested easily.

Sasuke gave a short nod. Whatever this weird feeling was, he'd be done with it by then. He was probably just tired and annoyed by Kiba's drunken ranting and the unpleasant memories that they'd caused to surface. "I'll come by after work."

"You're also welcome to stay and talk about it if you want to," Neji offered almost hesitantly as Sasuke's hand landed on the door knob.

"I'm just tired," Sasuke replied, knowing Neji would take the hint and let it drop. Which he did.

As Sasuke drove back to his own apartment, he realized that that was another big difference between Neji and Naruto. Neji gave Sasuke space to deal with his issues in his own way. Naruto never had and it had driven Sasuke crazy.

* * *

 _"I'll see you later," Sasuke said to Naruto, pulling his graduation gown off and shoving it under his arm. They were still in the hall where the ceremony had taken place, surrounded by families taking photos of the new graduates._

 _"What?" Naruto glanced at the retreating figures of Itachi and Sasuke's parents. The college of engineering held their graduation the weekend after the college of fine arts, so Naruto had already gone through his ceremony. By the time Naruto turned back to Sasuke, he was already walking down the steps to the other exit of the hall._

 _"Sasuke, wait! What's going on?" Naruto jogged after him._

 _Sasuke didn't break stride. "Itachi's taking my parents to the train station. He'll be back later to take us to dinner. I'll call you."_

 _Naruto grabbed Sasuke's shoulder, forcing him to stop walking and face him. "Sasuke," Naruto's voice was rough with worry. "Talk to me."_

 _Sasuke had to look away from the intense blue of Naruto's eyes. He couldn't deal with this right now._

 _"_ _Hey, my roommate's already moved out. Let's go back to my place and I'll make some coffee," Naruto fell into step beside Sasuke, his hand sliding down from Sasuke's shoulder to brush lightly against his elbow before dropping to his side. Sasuke had never been a big fan of PDA and Naruto was clearly trying to respect it. But he kept the back of his forearm brushing against Sasuke's as they walked in silence, the slight contact somehow helping Sasuke keep it together as they walked across campus._

 _When they finally reached Naruto's dorm room, Naruto walked over and pulled out a pack of the fresh coffee beans that he'd bought for Sasuke, grinding them in the small spice grinder before setting the coffee brewing._

 _"_ _What happened?" Naruto asked finally, blue eyes focused intently on every flicker of emotion that was suppressed in Sasuke's body and expression._

 _Sasuke watched the coffee trickle into the carafe, fragrant steam wisping out from the opening._

 _"_ _Nothing," Sasuke said tightly._

 _Naruto gave him a hard look, then sighed. "Do I need to replace the coffee with tequila? I don't really want Itachi to kill me for getting his little brother wasted but you're not giving me much choice here."_

 _Sasuke's jaw clenched. "Maybe I just don't want to fucking talk about it."_

 _Naruto chewed his lip, his eyes searching Sasuke's. There weren't many things that could set Sasuke off, so Naruto didn't need to guess to know it was something about his parents._

 _"_ _I know they didn't stay long, but… at least they came, right?" Naruto asked. "I mean… you weren't even sure they were gonna come before."_

 _"_ _I wish they hadn't," Sasuke said bitterly._

 _Naruto had been reaching for a mug from the shelf above his desk and paused at Sasuke's words._

 _"_ _If you didn't want them to come, then why invite them?"_

 _Sasuke took the cup and poured himself some coffee, though the acid in his stomach made him wonder if it was a good idea._

 _"_ _Because I never learn," Sasuke gave a short, hollow laugh._

 _"_ _Sasuke -" Naruto began, but Sasuke cut him off._

 _"_ _I overheard my father complaining to Itachi. He said that - since he sat through the ceremony - Itachi better be sure to invite them to the conference he's going to be presenting at next month like he promised. My dad's not even a doctor so he won't understand jack shit about whatever Itachi's going to talk about, but he wants to go and just listen to my brother talking about whatever medical technique he's been studying. But he wouldn't show up to my fucking GRADUATION without Itachi blackmailing him into going. Of course, they didn't stay one minute longer than they had to. For Itachi's graduation, they had the entire extended family over. My mother cooked dinner and they -" Sasuke cut off, his throat tight. "Why do I never learn?"_

 _He looked up to find Naruto's cheeks flushed with anger._

 _"_ _God, I fucking HATE your parents. I know it's shitty to say, but sometimes I just want to take them and -" Naruto cut off, raking a hand through his hair. "Shit! Just FUCK them, Sasuke. FUCK them. They aren't worth it."_

 _The visceral anger with which Naruto spat the words somehow eased some of the suffocating tightness in Sasuke's body. But he knew Naruto couldn't really understand what he was feeling._

 _"_ _It's easy to say when you don't have parents. It's not something you can just walk away from."_

 _Naruto shrugged, his face closing off briefly. "Yeah. I don't have parents but that doesn't mean I can't recognize bullshit when I see it. They might have known you longer but I know you better. And I can say with a hundred percent certainty that they are idiots for always pulling shit like this. You graduated top of your class. You're professors all think you're some sort of genius prodigy. You interned at the top employer for electrical engineers in the entire goddamn country, and got a job offer before you even graduated," Naruto counted off each of these achievements on his fingers, underscoring them, before throwing up his hands in frustrated anger. "If your parents can't see that that's something worth celebrating, that YOU'RE something worth celebrating, then they're just completely shitty parents. You're amazing, Sasuke. If they're too dumb to see that, then they don't deserve the time you're spending chasing after their approval. You've got plenty of people here who see what you've done Sasuke. People who are going to take you out tonight and get hammered with you. Even your scary, asshole of a brother."_

 _Naruto was actually short of breath by the time he had finished, his whole body shaking with righteous anger. Sasuke felt his lips curve slightly, the tension in his shoulders easing somewhat. Naruto's tirade didn't undo what his parents had done._

 _But it helped a hell of a lot._

* * *

Sasuke stared at the coffee machine in his kitchen. No one had ever been as _angry_ on his behalf as Naruto had. Sasuke had never really thought he needed or wanted anyone who would insist on breaking him open and dealing with the utter mess inside.

His mind shied away from memories of when the situation had been reversed. When Naruto had told him about a few things that had happened during his childhood. He didn't want to think about what Kiba had said. He wasn't going to.

Sasuke pulled the coffee beans out, not caring that it was late. Caffeine didn't really have much effect on him anymore. And he was pretty sure he wasn't going to sleep much that night, anyway.

* * *

 _To be continued..._


	16. A chance encounter

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **A/N:** Whew! I got this one out JUST under the 2 week deadline LOL. I think this chapter is angsty but hopeful. Tandy_Hard informed me it was SUPER depressing LOLOL. But at least it is out and the plot is moving along! I think there are 5 chapters left. So we are starting to move toward the big ending. Hopefully it feels that way! :-)

* * *

 **Chapter 16** : Chance encounters

Naruto wasn't one to keep secrets.

For starters, he completely _sucked_ at it. His face was generally an open book, especially to his friends who'd had years of experience reading it. But there was no way he wanted Kiba to find out that he was thinking about contacting Sasuke. Which was why he found himself texting Shikamaru on Saturday morning telling him he needed to talk, but not to mention it to Kiba.

Naruto didn't want to be stupid about it. Things had been really bad with Sasuke at the end and he knew there were real issues that needed to be solved. But for the first time in over a year, he thought there was a chance that there was actually some common ground that they could stand on. But Gaara's words and Itachi's words had Naruto wondering if somehow he'd been so stuck in his own head he'd misread some of the things Sasuke had done.

He felt an excitement buzzing in him that he hadn't felt in months. Maybe even for almost a year. Were things actually _fixable_ with Sasuke? He didn't know, but if there was any chance, then he was damn sure going to try. If Sasuke really hadn't been sick of him and waiting to leave, if somehow they just had… gone off track but not in a way that wasn't _solvable_ , then he needed to know _._ Maybe it would be too late. God knows Sasuke was probably going to hand Naruto his ass after the way Naruto had walked out but Naruto had never backed away from a fight out of fear before. He'd walked away from Sasuke because he'd honestly believed that there was nothing left to fight for. He knew he couldn't _make_ Sasuke care about him. But if he'd been wrong then… then… he didn't know, but he had to at least try to find out. Maybe they would only ever be friends after this or nothing at all, but he wanted to explain to Sasuke why he'd left and finally hear the man out on what Sasuke had really been feeling in the months leading up to the break-up.

Kiba would probably remove Naruto's head with a dull spoon if he thought that Naruto was giving any real consideration to trying to talk things out with Sasuke but he just needed to _know._

Naruto knocked on Shikamaru's door barely able to wait until he heard the usual shout of 'it's open' from the man who was always too lazy to get up and actually answer the door. Naruto let himself in, glad that at least Shikamaru was awake. Naruto's mind had been buzzing constantly since he left Gaara's and he needed to talk to someone about it.

"Shika?" Naruto called out as he entered the small apartment. Shikamaru could afford something larger, but he didn't want to have to clean it. He was more than happy to live in his tiny bachelor's pad.

"Hey, Naruto. I got your note. What's going on?" Shikamaru lifted his head from where he was stretched out on the couch. He looked like he was just waking up from a mid-morning nap but it was just as likely he hadn't bothered to go to his bed to sleep the night before.

Naruto walked over, shoving Shikamaru's feet off the couch to make space for him to sit down.

"I think… I think I might have fucked up." Naruto pulled Shikamaru's legs back over his to return the man to his original position.

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "This is news how?"

"Fuck you," Naruto sighed, tipping his head back to rest against the back of the couch, looking up at the ceiling. "I just… I think maybe I should… talk to Sasuke."

Shikamaru tensed and Naruto looked over at him, surprised. "What? I thought Kiba was the only one of you guys who hated him. Look, Shika, I just… I told you what Itachi had said, right? That he thought Sasuke just had a different idea of how to do relationships or whatever. That in his head, working hard so I didn't have pressure on me was Sasuke's way of like… being serious about us?"

"But you also said that you thought that was bullshit and Itachi just was going to be on Sasuke's side since they're brothers. You said that Sasuke did what he did to prove something to his shit parents and decided that was the only thing that mattered in his life," Shikamaru said, his voice carefully neutral.

Naruto let out a breath of excited impatience. "Yeah, but what if it _wasn't_? What if I was wrong? I mean… the whole reason I thought that was that I had figured that - if he cared about me or whatever - he would slow down at work and spend time with me. But with what Itachi said… maybe he wouldn't. Maybe he was working hard for _me_ , not just to prove something to his parents. It's still fucked up but… I don't know. It's different. The whole reason I stopped talking to Sasuke in the first place was that he just seemed to not give a fuck, you know? I didn't want to have to _make_ him be interested in me if he was just… done with it all with us. I just figured he was voting with his feet or whatever and spending time at work because that was all he cared about anymore. But what if I was wrong?"

Naruto paused looking at Shikamaru. Shikamaru's face was strangely conflicted and Naruto wasn't sure what to make about it. But the man's voice was calm when he spoke.

"What's making you think your first instincts were wrong? You seemed pretty sure about it all before. And it's not like you just had this conversation with Itachi. Why are you suddenly giving what Sasuke's brother said more weight?"

Naruto rubbed his hands over his face. "I met this guy. He's like… he owns this club and…"

'What kind of club?" Shikamaru asked, looking more alert than he had a moment ago.

"Well…," Naruto hedged. He was still held to the nondisclosure agreement, so he couldn't really say much at this point.

"You're not involved in something stupid, are you?" Shikamaru asked, his intelligent eyes pinning Naruto down as his protectiveness for his sometimes oblivious friend reared up.

"No! I mean… not really. I met this guy through work and I can't talk about any of it until the book comes out. It's just… this guy is really cool. Really intense. He reminds me a little of Sasuke in some ways. And he was talking to me about relationships and sex and stuff -"

"He _what_?" Shikamaru asked, actually sitting up. "Naruto who was this guy? Why would someone from work be talking to you about sex?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Look, it's not like that. I mean, the subject of the book was sort of sex and just… look it doesn't really matter. But what he was saying was that he thinks the whole idea of marriage is like… antiquated or whatever." Naruto skimmed over Gaara's basic points around why monogamy was outdated.

Shikamaru looked thoughtful. "That actually makes a lot of sense. Who did you say this guy was?"

"I didn't," Naruto looked over at his friend, snickering at the expression on Shikamaru's face. "I signed an NDA so I can't tell you who he is. Don't tell me you're getting a hard-on for this guy just because of his views on relationships. You haven't even _seen_ the guy."

Shikamaru shrugged. "Looks aren't the important part to me." He smirked at Naruto's expression. "But don't worry. I won't poach on your territory. You seem into him."

"I'm not… He's not…," Naruto huffed, wondering why Shikamaru was trying to steer him away from the point he was trying to make. He was here to talk about Sasuke, not Gaara. "Look, I just… he made me think, you know? About everything that's happened."

"He made you think about sex, or about... Sasuke?"

Naruto frowned slightly at the small hesitation that Shikamaru had before saying the name, but was too flustered to analyze it. "Maybe… both. But just… Just hear me out. About Sasuke, ok?"

"Ok. I'm listening," Shikamaru said, though there was a grim cast to his expression.

"Look, what if I should have talked to Sasuke more? I mean, people have really different views on what relationships are supposed to be, and Sasuke and I never really spelled it all out like that. I don't think Sasuke is as out there as this guy from work, but he still might just… have expected different things than what I thought. Maybe if I had really believed at the time he was working so hard to just… make a better future for us together instead of thinking that he was just being sick of me or whatever, maybe it would have been ok, you know? Maybe I wouldn't have felt so… alone and just... I don't know. Maybe I needed to let him know that I cared more about him than the money. I just got pissed off when he'd talk about me getting work that paid better, but maybe I should have asked him if he needed help to take the pressure off him. I just… I don't care about money, but I know that he really was stressed about paying our student loans back right away and I just…"

Naruto cut off, looking over at Shikamaru beseechingly. "What do you think, Shika? Did I fuck it all up? I just… I had been so sure he was done with us, with me, and then I saw him with that guy from work and I just… maybe I over-reacted and assumed shit that wasn't real."

It was the first time Naruto had actually voiced the thought out loud. Sure, he had been thinking about breaking up with Sasuke for a while. But would he _really_ have gone through with it if he hadn't seen Sasuke with Neji? He didn't know anymore. He had been so sure at the time, but now he was just confused and full of self-doubt.

"I feel like I should just… talk to him, you know? Maybe… I don't know. He closed off right away but for a minute there, Shika, he looked… he looked so fucking _hurt_." Naruto had been thinking about that moment a lot. How similar Sasuke's face had been to the time when he'd reached out his parents and had them shove it back in his face. It was the last thing Naruto had ever wanted to do to Sasuke.

"Naruto…," Shikamaru began.

"Look, please, Shika. You were the only one who didn't want to burn Sasuke alive when we broke up. You… I know he probably won't talk to me, but I just need to try. I need to let him know that I didn't… I didn't mean to just walk out on him like that."

"Naruto -" Shikamaru's voice was sharper this time, but Naruto kept going, the words spilling out all in a rush.

"Do you think I fucked up? You told me I should have talked to him about it before. I have to talk to him. The apartment I'm renting, is, um, it's right next to one of the restaurants that Sasuke goes to when he's working."

"Are you kidding me? Tell me that's not the reason you took the apartment." Shikamaru looked both annoyed and concerned.

"N-no," Naruto looked down. He knew it had been a dumb move, but he just hadn't really been able to fully let go. "Maybe."

'Naruto!"

"Just a little! It was mostly all the other things about the place but I just… I just wanted to see him maybe. Just to see him. If he… maybe he misses me, too, Shika. I know he's gonna be pissed as hell, but -"

Naruto felt a hand grab his forearm and looked up to see Shikamaru's face. He abruptly stopped talking at the expression he read there.

"What?" Naruto asked, the tension feeling thick in the air.

"Have you talked to Kiba recently?" Shikamaru asked.

"I talked to him on Tuesday. Why? Is he… is something wrong?"

Shikamaru sighed. "Naruto, I don't think you should go see Sasuke right now if you're still thinking about trying to get back together with him."

"But… Shika, if I fucked up, he deserves -"

"He's seeing someone else, Naruto." Shikamaru's words were brutal in their simplicity, despite the quiet voice they were delivered with.

Naruto felt like his stomach dropped down to his toes.

"What? He's… how do you know?"

"Kiba saw him out with someone at a bar," Shikamaru said gently.

"Maybe they were… just friends or… I mean, Sasuke really wasn't that into dating." Naruto didn't really know why he was having such a hard time accepting what Shikamaru was saying. Sasuke was probably the hottest guy Naruto had ever met. People were _always_ trying to hook up with him. Of _course_ he'd move on eventually.

"No, Naruto. They were… definitely together. Hana was there, too. She'd noticed them before Kiba did. They were together." Shikamaru's face tightened and Naruto recognized the look.

"What aren't you telling me?" Naruto asked, his stomach clenching as he tried to think about what possibly worse than what Shikamaru had just told him. "What?"

Shikamaru cursed under his breath. "It was the guy from work. The one you'd seen him with at the restaurant."

Naruto couldn't even move for a full minute. "Neji?" he finally was able to get out.

Shikamaru nodded.

"But… how would Kiba know? He never saw him, he…"

"I don't know how many guys with waist-length black hair, high-end clothing, and lavender eyes you know, but I'm guessing not many, Naruto. It was him. And they left together."

Naruto looked down at his hands blankly, his throat closing up. "So… so I was right the first time then, yeah? I mean, it wasn't that Sasuke was doing all that bull-shit that Itachi said. He was just interested in someone else." Naruto started to laugh hollowly, and Shikamaru flinched. " _God_ , what a fucking _moron_ I was. All those nights working late? Sasuke too tired for sex? The calls on the weekend? Jesus, all that was missing was the fucking _lipstick_ on the collar, wasn't it?"

"It might have started after you guys broke up," Shikamaru said, trying to calm his friend down. "It's been over between you two for months, Naruto. He was bound to move on eventually."

Naruto shook his head. "He looked me in the eye and told me it was just business between them, Shika. Now he's fucking him? Bullshit. Sasuke doesn't change his mind about people. There had to be something there."

"But you said he was upset when you broke up with him, right? Why would he have been upset if he was already hooking up with someone else?" Shikamaru asked, his voice sharp. "I know you're upset, Naruto but you need to _think_. You told me you were sure Sasuke wasn't the kind of guy who'd cheat. You read people pretty damn well. Just because he's with Neji now doesn't mean he was cheating then."

Naruto's head was pounding. He couldn't get the image of Sasuke with Neji out of his mind. "I don't know. I just… I don't know anything anymore."

"Look, let's just go out and grab some lunch. We can talk about other things. You can tell me about this new guy who's trying to get in your pants."

Naruto stood. "Nah. Thanks, man, but I… I think I just wanna go home and… I don't know."

Shikamaru looked at him, his brow creasing in concern. "Don't jump to conclusions, Naruto. Sasuke might be dating someone now and I know you were hoping maybe things would work out differently. But that doesn't mean he cheated. Clear your head before you talk to him."

Naruto gave a pained smile. "Yeah, well there's no fuckin' point of talking to him now, is there? Even if we could have worked it out somehow, he's already seeing someone else. Why would he want to talk to me about anything? Not that… not that he probably would have talked to me anyway." All the energy seemed to seep out of Naruto.

"Just… hang out here for a bit. We can watch movies or something."

Naruto didn't respond.

"Come on. It will be a pain in the ass if I have to worry about you all day. I've got some vodka in the freezer."

Naruto managed a lopsided smile. It wasn't like he had anything else to do. All plans to track down Sasuke during the week were off the table. "Yeah. I guess."

Shikamaru got up and walked to the kitchen while Naruto picked out a movie.

* * *

Half a bottle of vodka and six movies later, Naruto's phone buzzed.

 _I can be in town Tuesday night. Game for dinner?_

Naruto blearily looked at the number, since it wasn't one of his contacts, when a second text from the same number came through.

 _I'd offer to meet at the club, but I'm guessing it's too soon_

"Gaara?" Naruto slurred to himself.

"Who?" Shikamaru's head lolled to the side as he looked down at where Naruto was sprawled out on the floor by the couch.

"N'ver mind. Just…," Naruto laughed slightly drunkenly. "I think I got a date on Tuesday."

"Good. You focus on the new guy, now. Forget about Sasuke."

"Yeah…," Naruto trailed off, squinting at his phone while he typed out his reply, hoping autocorrect didn't fuck him over.

 _Yeah! Just tell me where and when._

There was only a brief pause before Naruto got a reply.

 _8:30. I'll text you the place before then._

Naruto felt himself drifting off to sleep on Shikamaru's questionably clean carpet before he could reply.

* * *

Sasuke tapped his pen on his desk. It had been four days since Kiba had confronted him at the bar and he still felt like he wasn't able to focus. The whole weekend he'd been out-of-sorts, with random memories of conversations he'd had with Naruto flashing through his head.

Along with all the things that Kiba had shouted at him.

Sasuke felt his jaw clench. The more he thought about it, the more it bothered him. And he didn't _want_ to be bothered by anything that had to do with Uzumaki Naruto. He'd been quite comfortable in his anger at his ex-boyfriend. It had made moving on relatively easy when he'd been able to write his relationship off as a colossal error in judgement on his part. Naruto hadn't been the person he'd thought. Naruto had just used him like everyone else. Naruto had been a fucking _coward_ and left without even trying to fight it out.

But now he was questioning all of that.

Neji had noticed something was off. Sasuke had gone over to the Hyuuga's penthouse the day after the disaster in the bar but it was clear his mind was elsewhere. They'd ended up having sex but Sasuke hadn't even been able to cum. With the condom, he didn't think Neji had noticed since Sasuke had made sure to at least get Neji off, but it was a first for him. It wasn't that he felt guilty for having sex, but it just… felt _off._

And he didn't want to talk about how annoyed he'd been when Suigetsu had ordered hot chocolate the other day at lunch when he was feeling cold. He just didn't want to smell it right then.

His sleep was restless, too. The more he tried not to think about what Kiba had told him, the more his mind found ways to remind him of bits and pieces of conversations from the past that kept coming back to him. Naruto wasn't the kind of person to complain or talk much about all the shit that he'd gone through, but Sasuke knew that Naruto had grown up feeling alone. It was why Naruto always surrounded himself with friends. But it had also been why Naruto had struggled to have serious relationships. He didn't like to talk about his past, but he also didn't feel like he could relate to people who'd grown up in a family with two loving parents, 2.3 kids and the family fucking dog.

Naruto had wanted to put down roots and have stability as an adult that he'd never had as a child. Sasuke had thought he was giving him that but…

Sasuke glared at the pad of paper that he'd marked up with random dots by jabbing his pen at it uselessly. He didn't know how much of the shit Kiba had hurled at him was real and how much was just the ranting of a drunken best friend who was interfering in shit that wasn't his business. Sasuke picked up his phone, bracing himself for the call he was about to make...

"Itachi." Sasuke knew his brother was going to grill him for this later, but right now he didn't even care.

" _Otouto. Are you calling to tell me you'll finally be bringing a 'plus one' to our monthly dinner on Friday?"_

Sasuke's hand tensed on his pen. "No. And stop asking."

Sasuke knew Itachi would eventually insist on meeting Neji. Hell, Itachi had forced his way into meeting Naruto within two weeks of their hooking up. But Sasuke kept dodging Itachi's increasingly forceful 'requests'. It wasn't that he thought Neji couldn't hold his own against his brother, it was just… not the right time.

" _You know, eventually I will simply show up at his office and introduce myself,"_ Itachi said casually, thought there was a not-so-hidden threat to the words.

"It isn't serious," Sasuke stated without hesitation.

" _Hm,_ " Itachi hummed thoughtfully. " _And why is that?_ "

"Because neither of us want it to be and his family has probably already chosen a bride for him. Neji isn't why I called you."

" _Somehow I think there is more to it than that, but I'll allow you to tell yourself whatever you wish. It's so much more amusing to watch you dig yourself a nice, deep hole to stand in. But as you said, I'm sure that's not why you called."_

Sasuke managed to not grind his teeth at the deliberate poke by his brother. "I wanted to know the phone number for the social worker you were talking about last weekend - the one you'd called in for that kid that had shown up in the ER beat to hell."

There was a pause on the other end of the line and Sasuke savored the brief victory of knowing he had surprised his older brother.

" _You wish to speak to Konan?_ " Itachi clarified carefully.

"Yes." Sasuke didn't offer anything further, practically able to hear the gears in Itachi's mind whirring as the man came up with and discarded likely reasons for Sasuke asking him this.

" _You are not going to tell me why you wish to speak with her._ " It wasn't a question.

"No. Can you give me her number?"

There was another slight pause.

" _She doesn't have jurisdiction where you live. So this can't be about an actual case you need her help with."_

Sasuke said nothing. He already knew that, and Itachi clearly knew he did. He wasn't ready to tell Itachi why he wanted to talk with her, so he would simply wait and see how long Itachi would make him dance before he gave up the number.

 _"_ _If you wanted to talk with someone in children's services in general, you could just call the hotline._ "

Fucking asshole older brothers. Sasuke sighed, rubbing his brow. Itachi clearly wasn't going to give it to him without more information. Sasuke tried to think of the least informative explanation he could give as to why he wanted the number of that particular person. "Look. You said she had a lot of experience with particularly bad cases, and that she was good at understanding what the kids needed after going through shit."

More silence. Sasuke started to regret his impulsive decision to call his brother. If Itachi wasn't going to tell him, then all this had been for nothing and now Itachi would be relentless at trying to find out what Sasuke wanted to talk to her about. Sasuke's phone buzzed.

 _"_ _I texted you her contact information. Naturally, we will discuss this further when you come to dinner this weekend."_

Of course. "Don't count on it," Sasuke said, though he knew his brother had already disconnected.

* * *

Naruto pulled his black, fine-wool suit jacket on, for once glad that Jiraiya had made him upgrade at least some of his wardrobe after joining the man's company. The jacket was cut perfectly to accentuate Naruto's broad shoulders and tapered waist and the pants hugged his ass without being obscene about it. With the plain white, tight t-shirt that Naruto had decided to wear under the suit, he hoped he'd managed to pull off a look that wouldn't make him look like a boring businessman but also wouldn't get him thrown out of the restaurant that Gaara had told him to meet him at. Naruto had never been there but it was located in The W hotel, which meant it would be high end but not stuffy. Naruto had never really done 'high end' dating. He'd done fun and he'd done casual and he'd done sleazy (once and sort of by accident).

He was nervous.

Partly because he wasn't even sure what he wanted to happen with Gaara and partly because this was the first date that he'd gone on without being forced into it by Kiba since he'd come back from his 'round the world trip two months ago. He was more than a little rusty and still recovering from finding out that Sasuke was dating Neji. But he honestly liked Gaara, both as a potential friend or possible lover, and he didn't want to screw it up just because the timing was bad.

Gaara was the only person he'd really felt drawn to in any meaningful way since Sasuke. And Naruto was now determined to fully move on. The last time that Gaara had hinted that he was interested in Naruto, Naruto had hedged. He hadn't really been ready to jump into something so different from what he'd known before.

This time, he wouldn't hedge. Naruto didn't know how rigid Gaara was in his outlook in relationships and he didn't know how much he would be willing to bend in his own views. But he liked Gaara and he was willing to give it a shot. Worst case scenario, they'd end up just good friends and he was fine with that.

Naruto put some gel in his hair, running his fingers through it to leave it spiky but not looking like he just fell out of bed. Glancing at himself in the mirror, he decided this was as good as he could do with himself. The bathroom light picked up the brand new silver stud that gleamed from his right ear. He'd gotten it pierced less than a week ago and he was still getting used to it. The girl who had pierced his ear seemed to think it looked particularly good on him.

He pulled out his phone and called a taxi. Parking at The W was crazy expensive if you weren't spending the night, so it would be cheaper to take a cab. Hopefully, Gaara wasn't expecting Naruto to bring him back to his apartment, but if he was, then they could just take the club owner's car. He double-checked his wallet to make sure he had his credit card and enough cash to tip. With nothing left to do in his apartment and the evening pleasant, Naruto decided to head down and wait for the cab outside before someone else poached it.

He walked out of his apartment door, scanning the street for his cab. There was no sign of it. The street wasn't crowded like it was during rush hour but there were lots of people walking along given it was dinner time and there were several restaurants nearby. Naruto was watching the traffic to see if his cab had shown up yet when he heard his name called.

"Naruto?"

He froze at the sound of the familiar baritone voice that he hadn't heard in almost half a year. Naruto turned slowly to see Sasuke standing on the sidewalk looking at him, looking just as surprised as Naruto felt. He appeared to have just come out from dinner with the three people in business suits standing behind him. Fortunately, Neji didn't appear to be amongst them, or at least he hadn't come out of the restaurant yet if he was.

Dark eyes locked on Naruto and Naruto wondered which deity he pissed off in a past life that would make him run into Sasuke just when he'd _finally_ decided he actually didn't want to. Despite himself, Naruto found himself soaking in all the details of Sasuke. There was no sign of Sasuke's work-a-holic life taking its toll on him. The man looked as masculinely beautiful as always, his features sharp and clear in the glow of the streetlight overhead... his body still lean and lithe beneath the suit he wore. Naruto felt a pang of the yearning that he'd always felt when he'd looked at Sasuke, but shoved it down. There was no place for it anymore. Sasuke was with someone else now.

He turned, glancing back up the street to see if his cab - please god - was here yet. Which, of course, it _wasn't._

"Um... hey," Naruto's eyes slid off Sasuke, looking behind him hoping Sasuke wasn't out to dinner with Neji. He really didn't think he could handle having it thrown right in his face. It was bad enough just imagining it. He saw a red-haired woman with glasses flanked by a giant of a man carrying a briefcase and a smaller man with near-white hair that appeared to be waiting for Sasuke but, thankfully, there was still no sign of Neji.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked, his gaze seeming to drink in every detail of Naruto the same way Naruto knew he was doing in return.

"Waiting for a cab," Naruto tried to keep his voice casual. He was a little thrown by the fact that Sasuke was being almost civil with him, given their last conversation. Even though it had been a long time, Sasuke wasn't one to just forgive and forget.

 _He's probably realized that he's happier now. That's why he's not mad anymore._ The thought brought a bitter bubbling to his stomach that only seemed to grow as he looked at Sasuke's hauntingly perfect face and form, feeling the same pull he always had.

"Why _here_?" Sasuke asked, his eyes narrowing slightly as though trying to figure something out.

Naruto felt his temper start to snap. "Because I _live here_." And ok, maybe Naruto lived where he did because at _one_ point he had considered stalking Sasuke, but the fact was that he was _no longer_ considering stalking him. So Sasuke's suspicions - if he had any – were now unfounded.

Sasuke's eyes showed a trace of surprise. "I thought you were living with Kiba."

"Only until I found my own place," Naruto said glancing back up the street, more to avoid looking at Sasuke than actually expecting his cab had shown up in the small interval since he'd last checked. He had assumed Sasuke would take the opportunity to walk away from what was obviously an uncomfortable meeting but Naruto could see from the corner of his eye that Sasuke was still standing there, looking at him. His eyes flickered along Naruto's body. Most people would have missed it but Naruto was used to reading even the slightest inflections in Sasuke's expressions.

"Meeting someone for a shoot?" Sasuke asked, his low, rich voice making Naruto's stomach twist into knots.

Naruto turned, meeting Sasuke's gaze again despite his better judgement. Sasuke had always been able to read more in Naruto's face than he wanted him to. "No, I… no."

Some part of Naruto had briefly been tempted to tell Sasuke he was going on a date but in the end he had held back. Whether or not Sasuke had been interested in Neji before they split, Naruto wasn't going to be that petty. Not to mention that Sasuke might actually just not care at this point and Naruto didn't want to see proof that everything they'd had for six years was truly dead.

He shifted, his gaze going again to where Sasuke's co-workers were watching them with open curiosity. Naruto wondered if they knew that Sasuke and Neji were dating. Most likely, given they all worked together. The thought made him his temper flare again. He dated Sasuke for _years_ and never met his co-workers. Of course, Neji was the kind of boyfriend that someone would be proud of. He fit in Sasuke's world.

Some of his anger must have shown on his face, because Sasuke's expression suddenly turned wary.

Naruto smiled at him, but it was all teeth. He knew he should keep his mouth shut, but he just couldn't as he saw his taxi finally pulling up.

"Here's my ride. Say hello to Neji for me. Glad to hear that all that 'just work' between you two is turning out so well." The words carried a bite that Naruto didn't bother to hide. This was the kind of thing Shikamaru had been trying to keep him from doing by telling Naruto to get his head on straight before he talked to Sasuke, but Naruto had never been good at keeping his mouth shut when he was upset with someone. It always just came spilling out and this was no exception.

It was hard to tell on the dimly lit street but he imagined that Sasuke paled a bit at the clear insinuation. Naruto didn't say anything more as he got in the cab, telling the driver to go to The W as he closed the door. He didn't look back to see if Sasuke tried to stop him, or if he had even watched Naruto leave.

* * *

Sasuke stood on the sidewalk, watching Naruto's taxi drive away and wishing he'd said something before Naruto had closed the door, though he didn't really know what. When he'd walked out of the restaurant and seen Naruto standing there, he felt like he'd been punched in the gut. It had been almost half a year since he'd seen Naruto in person. He'd thought, somehow, that the impact of seeing him would fade. That the visceral pull that he'd felt the first day he'd seen Naruto would be gone.

It wasn't. It was just as strong as it had ever been.

Sasuke had taken in every detail of how Naruto had changed since he'd last seen him. Naruto was slimmer now, though his shoulders looked slightly broader. His hair was bleached lighter, presumably from the sun, while his face had a duskier hue than before. The streetlights had caught the glint of an earring that hadn't been there before.

But the biggest change had been Naruto's eyes. When Naruto had turned to look at him, the usually friendly blue eyes had gone from shock to guarded anger and wariness in an instant. Even during their final fight, Naruto had looked more sad than angry. He seemed colder now. More closed off.

Of course, with Naruto's departing words, Sasuke knew exactly what had placed that look there. Kiba would have told Naruto about Neji. It wasn't surprising... Sasuke had known it would happen after their confrontation in the bar. But he hadn't expected Naruto to think that Sasuke had been cheating with Neji before the break-up. He wasn't sure if Naruto really believed it or if there was just… _doubt._ Part of him wanted to yell at Naruto for even considering the idea that Sasuke would ever stoop to cheating. But another part of him wanted to grab Naruto and make him believe that it wasn't true.

And that second part of himself pissed him off.

Why did it matter? Why should Sasuke give a fuck what Naruto thought about him anymore? Why should it make Sasuke's jaw clench that Naruto was dressed in clothes that made him look amazing while he went out on what was clearly a date with someone else? He had heard the directions Naruto had given the taxi driver and he didn't understand the rush of anger he'd felt when he'd realized Naruto was meeting some faceless person at a high-end hotel. He was supposed to be _over_ Naruto.

"Sasuke, are we still going back to the office to finish up the presentation?" Karin asked, breaking Sasuke out of his thoughts.

"Yes. Let's go." Sasuke looked up at the building next to their usual restaurant, one that he'd never really bothered to look at before. Naruto's apartment building. Was Naruto living alone? He'd said 'my own place' but did that really mean _alone_? Naruto hated living alone. In one drunken evening back in college Naruto had confided in Sasuke it was the thing he feared more than anything else.

Sasuke's stomach turned at the memory, but he forcibly reminded himself he wasn't the one who had left Naruto. Sasuke would never have just walked out. He'd been working hard to prove himself but also to bring stability that Naruto had never had growing up. Sasuke had thought Naruto had wanted that. Naruto had always said he wanted to put down roots and form bonds. Wasn't stability a key part of that?

"Sasuke, what the fuck? That guy steal your wallet or something?" Suigetsu said coming up to stand next to Sasuke.

"Let's go," Sasuke said. His phone buzzed, and for a moment he thought it might be Naruto.

But it wasn't. Of course it wasn't. It was Neji.

 _Do you want to come by later tonight?_

Sasuke looked at the message for a moment before responding.

 _Can't make it tonight._

Sasuke slipped his phone back in his pocket and headed with his team back to his office. He needed to finish up his work so his team could go home at a somewhat reasonable hour.

Then he was going to sit down and figure out why the sight of his ex going to meet someone else was eating him alive.

* * *

 _To be continued…_

 **A/N** : Yes, I know there are no W hotels in Japan, but it just seemed like the kind of place Gaara would pick. Since this is an AU, I decided to make one appear in Naruto's town LOL. How much are you interested in seeing the date with Gaara (I don't mean sex scene, but more the conversation)? I could either write it out, or have Naruto give Shika and Kiba the highlights when he talks to them later. What do you think?

 **Also** \- I am OBSESSED with the song Way Down We Go by Kaleo. Holy shit. I listened to it a thousand times writing this chapter (be grateful none of you live with me or it would have made you crazy).


	17. The damage done

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **A/N:** Thanks to Tandy_Hard and Annairea for reading this through in advance! I know that many of you were waiting for one of the things that happens in this chapter. So... here it is. ;-) Hopefully this time FF will let me actually see your reviews instead of having them be invisible for a week LOL.

* * *

 **Chapter 17: The damage done**

Naruto drew a steadying breath as he walked into the lobby of The W, looking for the entrance to the restaurant. The run-in with Sasuke had thrown him more than he wanted to admit and if Gaara hadn't driven likely two hours to meet him for dinner, he might have cancelled.

He was frustrated with himself for letting it get to him so much. He only hoped it wouldn't ruin his date with the first person he'd felt a real connection to since Sasuke. He ignored the tiny voice in his head that maybe he was drawn to Gaara because he was similar in many ways to Sasuke. He walked into the restaurant, looking around to see if he could a familiar head of red hair. He didn't see Gaara, but it was still a few minutes before they were scheduled to meet. He couldn't help the small flare of relief

"How many in your party this evening?" A man dressed in all black with a small white cloth draped over his arm appeared, ready to usher Naruto to a table.

"Um… two? I'm meeting someone here, but I don't see him yet."

"What name is the reservation under?" the man asked, stepping behind the small counter and scrolling through the reservations list.

"Sabaku," Naruto said as the man looked through the names.

"Ah, yes. I have it here. Would you like to be seated while you wait, or would you prefer to stay at the bar until he arrives?"

There was no doubt in his mind that Naruto could use a drink. "The bar. Thanks."

"Very good. I'll notify you when the rest of your party arrives," the man said, directing Naruto to the bar before returning to greet a well-dressed couple who had just walked in.

Naruto ordered a rum and coke after deciding that beer seemed too casual for this place. He needed something stronger, anyway. He forced himself to think about something other than the raw feeling he'd had when he'd run into Sasuke earlier that evening… trying not to analyze the frozen look on Sasuke's face when Naruto had thrown out the jab about Neji at the end. Tried not to hope that somehow Sasuke actually had cared what Naruto thought at this point. He wasn't going to think about what Sasuke might have said if Naruto had stayed to talk about things. There really was no point. Why try to go and explain what had gone wrong? If Sasuke was happy in a relationship with someone else, then Naruto needed to let it go.

 _Stop thinking about it. Sasuke is with someone else and happy. Don't obsess over someone else's boyfriend. Don't be an ass._

The bartender delivered Naruto his drink, and Naruto took a large swallow, forcing himself to mentally shift topics and think about the current job he was working on for Jiraiya. Naruto would be photographing various public transportation infrastructure around the country and the people who used them. It was a far cry from his prior job of shooting a sex club, but Naruto really liked the mix of topics that his new work provided him, though photographing people was still his favorite.

He was taking another sip of his drink when he felt someone slide into the space next to him at the bar. Naruto turned to see Gaara dressed in a business suit that looked ridiculously good on the man. It struck Naruto that Gaara looked just as comfortable in a suit as he did in leather pants, and somehow it came as almost a surprise.

"Sorry if I kept you waiting," Gaara murmured, signaling the bartender to order a whiskey.

"Nah, it's fine. I ended up being a little early so I thought I'd just grab a drink," Naruto had thought he'd managed to play it off casually, but Gaara's eyes narrowed.

"Rough day?"

"It's fine. How about you? In town on business?" Naruto knew it wasn't the most subtle deflection, but Gaara let it pass.

"Yes. The club isn't the only business I own. It's just the one I am the most… personally invested in."

"Excuse me, gentlemen. Your table is ready." A waiter appeared behind them, gesturing towards what was presumably their table somewhere in the dining room.

Naruto and Gaara took their drinks and followed the waiter to a corner table set for two that offered a bit of privacy.

"So… you own other businesses?" Naruto probed, taking the menu the waiter offered him and trying not to react to the prices on it. Thank god he worked for Jiraiya now, or he would have been seriously screwed.

"I'm paying," Gaara said, his eyes still on his menu.

"I can -," Naruto began.

"Naruto. I asked you out and I chose this location. I will pay." Gaara's voice brooked no argument.

They spent some time talking about their jobs as they placed their order and waited for the food to arrive. Naruto learned that Gaara also owned an import/export business for Japanese antiquities and they talked about how he was able to tell fakes from the real things. Naruto described his latest project talked about some of his ideas on how to breathe a bit more life into the concept Jiraiya was going for.

The waiter came with their wine and appetizers, and Gaara waited until he left before speaking again. "So are you ready to tell me why you were upset when you got here?"

Naruto couldn't disguise the slight flinch at the question. He'd hoped he'd done a better job at not letting it show. "Sorry. It's not a big deal. I don't want it to get in the way of…" Naruto gestured slightly nervously with his hands. "... whatever this is."

Gaara arched a brow. "And what do you think this is?"

Naruto looked down at his appetizer, not really sure what to say. He didn't want to presume anything, and his own thoughts were a total mess. "I don't know? I mean… it's just dinner right now, right?"

"Yes. And whether we end up as friends or lovers, I would expect that - if you were bothered by something - you would talk to me about it."

Naruto gave a soft, self-conscious laugh and looked out over the dining room. "Yeah, I guess that's right. It's just… bad timing for 'first date' topics."

"I don't think that talking about things that are going on in your life and affecting you could be a bad topic for a date. I wouldn't have arranged for us to meet to have dinner if all I wanted was your mouth gagged shut while we had sex."

Naruto choked on the bite of food he'd been in the process of swallowing. Gaara's eyes flashed with amusement, but he was clearly waiting for Naruto to talk to him.

"Ok. Fine. I just… I ran into my ex on the way here," Naruto said, shrugging one shoulder and trying to keep his voice casual.

"Hm. Given your reaction, I'm assuming this wasn't a 'casual fling' kind of ex."

Naruto breathed out a half-hearted chuckle. "No. There is nothing casual about Sasuke."

Gaara nodded slightly in recognition of the name. "The man from your photos."

"Yeah. That's him," Naruto was grateful when the waiter came with their food, since it gave him an excuse to stop talking. He thanked the waiter then took a bite of his entree, but he could feel Gaara's eyes on him.

"You mentioned you'd been broken up for a while," Gaara stated before taking a bit of his own meal.

"About six months," Naruto agreed. "But this was our first time seeing each other since the… since we split."

"So you didn't part on good terms," Gaara concluded.

"Heh. No. Definitely not," Naruto could hear the hollowness in his own voice and wanted to kick himself for it, sure he was screwing things up with Gaara. How pathetic could he be, still this upset over someone he'd broken up with months ago? But Gaara's face held no judgement and no pity. It made Naruto feel oddly at ease. Gaara was interested in what Naruto was thinking, but was being as open-minded about Naruto's apparent emotional hang-ups as he was about everything else.

"I see," Gaara said, returning to his meal. Naruto realized that Gaara was giving him a chance to drop the topic if he wanted. Somehow that made Naruto comfortable continuing to talk about it. Gaara wasn't going to push and he wasn't going to judge. He just honestly wanted to know what was on Naruto's mind. And Naruto decided that maybe this was the most honest course of action, anyway. He _was_ still hung up on Sasuke in some ways. And if he wanted to start a relationship with Gaara, then the man deserved to know.

"I just… when Sasuke and I were together, I thought he was it, you know?"

Gaara shot him a skeptical look, and Naruto chuckled. "Ok, maybe you don't know, since you don't buy into the whole 'relationship thing' or whatever. But I just… I have a hard time connecting with people on... stuff... but Sasuke and I just seemed to click."

"But you still ended up breaking up," Gaara commented. "And now you're not even friends, if you haven't spoken in six months."

Naruto grimaced. "Yeah. It sucks. I handled things really badly at the end and I just… I messed it all up. But it had been a while since we'd talked and I had started thinking that I owed him an apology or… an explanation or something. If maybe he was still… whatever. I thought maybe we could try to be friends at least but..."

Gaara didn't interrupt, giving Naruto time to find the words to describe what was going through his mind.

"I don't know. I guess I was being stupid. I'm clearly not ready to be friends with him and I seriously doubt he'd give a shit about anything I had to say about what went wrong at this point."

Gaara raised an eyebrow. "It would seem to me that figuring out what went wrong would be the first step at repairing at least the friendship. Why do you think it was stupid to want to talk with him?"

"Because of the guy he's dating now," Naruto said, trying to swallow the bitterness he heard in his own voice with a drink of the wine the waiter had poured earlier.

"Why is that?"

Naruto gave up trying to eat his meal. "Sasuke knew Neji before we broke up. They work together. Launched some big, high profile project as co-leads. They spent almost every evening and half of their weekends together." Naruto could feel the same flood of dark, twisted emotions surging back through him from when he'd seen Sasuke and Neji sitting together in that restaurant. How focused Sasuke had been on what Neji was saying. How utterly inferior Naruto had felt watching it.

"It is normal for people who work together to spend time together," Gaara said, his voice calm but avoiding being patronizing, which Naruto was immensely grateful for.

"Yeah. But I saw them at dinner together once. Just before we broke up. It was… they just seemed to be so focused on each other. Sasuke swore to me it was just business, but I mean…. They're together now, right?"

"Six months is a long time," Gaara said.

"Yeah, but either you're attracted to someone or you're not. They'd worked together for over a year before we broke up."

"So you're upset because you think he was either cheating on you, or at least considering it."

Naruto couldn't quite get himself to say that about Sasuke. Somehow, even with the knowledge that Sasuke was with Neji now, he still didn't see Sasuke as a cheater. "No… I don't know, it's just… If it had been anyone else," Naruto said, his voice tight. "If he'd ended up with anyone else, I would have been able to deal with it. At least, I think so. But seeing him tonight, I just was so… _angry_. And I lashed out and said the first thing that came into my head, even though he was being completely civil to me. It's clear I wouldn't make much of a friend. And he's happy with someone else so… yeah. There's really no point in going over it anymore."

Gaara tilted his head, noticing that Naruto hadn't actually said that he thought Sasuke had cheated. "Even if it turns out that he really had never been interested in Neji as anything more than a co-worker until after the two of you ended your relationship?"

Naruto took a sip of his drink. It would be easy to blame all his anger on the idea that maybe Sasuke cheated. But deep down, he didn't really believe that. Maybe he was still being an idiot, but he couldn't quite accept that Sasuke would really cheat. That wasn't actually the problem. "Either way. I guess it's just… I mean, I had thought things were really good between us, that Sasuke was… but the guy he's with now is basically the opposite of me, you know? He's everything I'm not. So if Sasuke is with him now, then he must have wanted… I don't know." Naruto paused as the waiter appeared to pour them more wine and check to see if they were happy with their meals.

"I saw them together, the day we broke up. Did I tell you that? It's sort of funny because at the time… it struck me that Sasuke would have so much more in common with a guy like that." Naruto finished the rest of his drink. "Looks like I win the fucking prize."

Naruto braced himself for Gaara to ask him what Neji had that Naruto didn't, but surprisingly the man didn't do so. Green eyes watched Naruto with an almost unsettling intensity.

"Different people have different preferences, Naruto. Just because Sasuke has more in common with Neji doesn't mean that someone else won't have more in common with you."

The words filled Naruto with an old sort of trepidation. Sasuke was far from the only one who had found Naruto lacking, but Naruto wasn't going to talk about all of that now. After all, Gaara had already made it clear that he wasn't looking for a single person to be with. Maybe Naruto was too damaged to be a full partner for someone, but Gaara wasn't looking for that. Of course, all of that assumed that Naruto hadn't totally turned Gaara off by still being so transparently hung-up on his ex. Naruto looked up to see Gaara's eyes still watching him.

"You don't believe me," Gaara stated simply. "Do you have any idea how many people from the club asked me to let them know when you'd be coming back?"

Naruto blushed slightly. "Yeah, well… physical looks or whatever aren't what makes a relationship last or not."

"True," Gaara agreed. "But obviously you have a lot more to offer than that."

Naruto gave a skeptical snort, opening his mouth to change the subject when Gaara cut him off.

"If I wanted someone simply for their looks, I have a club full of people to choose from who require minimal convincing. Why do you think I'm having dinner with you instead of meeting up with one of them at my club?"

Naruto blinked, saying the first thing that popped into his head. "Honestly, I have no idea."

The waiter came back to check if everything was alright with their meal, and Gaara's eyes flickered with a hint of annoyance at the interruption. When the waiter had once again left, Gaara looked at Naruto consideringly.

"I have a suite booked here," Gaara stated as thought this was a completely expected turn of conversation. "I think we should go up there and continue the discussion without all the interruptions."

"Really?"

"We've mostly finished our meal. I am assuming the waiter is hovering and asking us if we need anything else is a subtle hint that the lobby is full of people waiting for a table."

"Oh," Naruto felt the heat of embarrassment as he realized he had misunderstood Gaara's intentions. "Right. I… guess?"

Gaara smiled, and there was the slightest predatory hint to it that had Naruto's pulse ticking up several notches. "Don't mistake me, Naruto. I had fully intended to ask you up to my room this evening if you seemed interested. I am simply accelerating the time table."

"I thought you only had sex in your club."

Gaara shrugged slightly. "And you are looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship. Maybe we'll both end up bending a few of our rules."

Naruto bristled slightly. "I don't need a pity fuck, Gaara." He made an effort to keep his voice down. As Gaara said, this really wasn't the kind of conversation to be having in a dining room full of people.

"I can assure you, Naruto, that of the list of things I might feel for you, pity is not on it."

Gaara didn't flinch as Naruto met his gaze head on, trying to read the lie in the words. Finally, Naruto laughed a little. "Yeah, ok."

Gaara's lips twitched into a slight smile. "So are you coming with me to my room, or am I walking you to your car?"

Naruto felt himself relax. He liked Gaara and Gaara liked him. And there wasn't any pressure for it to turn into anything more than that.

"Did you already check in or do we need to stop at the front desk?" Naruto asked, giving Gaara a lopsided smile.

The sex club owner returned the smile with one of his own.

* * *

Sasuke looked at his watch as he walked into the small coffee shop three blocks from his brother's apartment. He had scheduled his meeting with the woman from Children's Services for when he knew his brother would be working. Not that he didn't think for a minute that Itachi wasn't going to know the purpose of the conversation he was about to have with Konan before the evening was over. But - based on the rare praise Itachi had said about the woman - Sasuke had confidence that Konan would at least not divulge any of the specifics of Naruto's background unless Sasuke agreed to it. Konan was evidently one of the very short list of people who could actually say no to Itachi.

Sasuke was looking forward to meeting her, as it would also give him the chance to see if one of his suspicions about Itachi was true.

He glanced around the coffee shop, his eyes resting on a woman who looked only slightly older than Sasuke with purple highlights in her hair. An odd choice for a professional woman and a detail that Itachi hadn't mentioned, but the way the woman's amber eyes lit with recognition and not an ounce of flirtation at this face told him she was definitely the one he was here to meet.

Konan stood as he approached where she was sitting in the secluded corner booth of the cozy coffee shop.

"You have the same eyes as your brother," she greeted him. "I'm Konan."

"Sasuke," he said, trying not to tense at the comparison with his brother.

Konan arched a brow as though sensing that Sasuke had not liked her comment. "Your message about why you wanted to see me was rather vague."

Sasuke removed his jacket, glancing over to the short line of people waiting to order their coffee and looking back at the steaming mug already enviably in Konan's hands.

"Why don't you go and order yourself something, and we'll talk," she said, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Hn."

Sasuke told himself he didn't feel nervous. He might not be completely comfortable talking with a complete stranger about anything other than business, but this was the most direct route to getting the information he needed. As much as he'd tried to write off Kiba's words, they were coming back to him at annoying times. It was interfering with his sleep and making him feel somehow uncomfortable with his relationship with Neji. While he and Neji had both agreed that the nature of their relationship was going to be short term and not emotionally entangled, he knew that he was pulling away from Neji lately. It would not be good for either of them to continue things unless Sasuke got his head on straight about what he wanted or didn't want.

Talking with Konan would be hopefully give him the unbiased perspective he needed to either write off the scene with Kiba, or make Sasuke re-think things. It bothered him slightly that he honestly didn't know which outcome he was hoping for, but there was no point in putting the conversation off. At this point, he just needed to know.

Sasuke ordered his espresso from the barista and took it back to the table where Konan was waiting, her eyes somehow seeming older than her years. He wondered briefly the types of things the woman had seen in her line of work and what kind of person it would take to deal with it day in and day out.

"I am assuming you had a reason for asking to meet with me outside of my office on one of my few nights off. And it seems pretty clear that you're not here to ask me on a date," Konan said drily.

Sasuke took a sip of his coffee, nodding slightly in acknowledgement of her statement. "Itachi told me that you're the one he calls when he gets a particularly tough case down at the hospital."

Konan shrugged a slender shoulder, the faintest tinge of pink tracing her delicate cheekbones. "Yes, he usually calls me when Children's Services is needed. Though it's possibly because I'm the only one not terrified of him when he's on a mission about a patient."

Sasuke felt his lips twitch despite the situation. "Mm. He mentioned that you've managed to help some kids that everyone else had basically written off."

A shadow passed over Konan's face. "Some of them. But not all." She paused for a moment then seemed to gather herself. "But I can't discuss any of my cases with you."

"I don't want to talk about any of your cases."

Konan arched a brow. "Then what did you want to talk about?"

Sasuke looked at his cup for a moment. "If I describe a situation of someone… would you be able to give me your opinion on what the likely effect on them would be?"

Konan hesitated, looking concerned. "I can't assess a situation without meeting the people involved. If you know a child that needs help, I can refer you to -"

"No. This person is an adult now. I just want to understand how a child typically would… respond to the kind of situation this person went through in foster care."

Konan looked skeptical, but something in Sasuke's expression must have convinced her to agree and she nodded. "Alright. But anything I say will just be conjecture. Every situation is different, and without knowing the person it's hard to generalize."

Sasuke nodded tersely, accepting the disclaimer. "How unusual is it for a child to go through multiple homes in the foster system?"

"Obviously it's something we try to minimize. It's very disruptive for a child to be uprooted. But there are times when it's necessary."

"Like when?"

"Sometimes when the parents are able to take over care of their child, then they are returned to them. Sometimes the foster parents are deemed unsuitable, and the child is removed for their safety," Konan explained.

Sasuke's face revealed no emotion as he asked his next question. "How bad does a situation need to get before a child is removed from a home?"

"The circumstances vary. Obviously, if there are signs of physical injury to the child that we believe to were incurred in the home, that would generate an immediate removal of the child. But there are other circumstances where it happens as well. Sometimes it is a matter of neglect or the foster parents don't wish to continue hosting the child beyond a certain timeframe. If they thought, for example, that the birth parents would be reclaiming the child after six months but then the birth parents were unable or not allowed to do so. But as I said, we try to minimize this due to the disruptive nature of a move on a child's emotional well-being."

"So is it unusual for a child to be moved multiple times?"

"Yes. I think the most I've ever had one of the children in my caseload moved was three times. Though I did inherit a case where a child had gone through six homes, but that was a very unusual situation. And her case worker got fired for it. But the damage was already done and we had a hard time placing the child after that."

"What kind of damage?" Sasuke asked. He knew his question wasn't going to be answered when he saw Konan's face close up.

"I told you I can't discuss specific case details. Even anonymously. Not even for Itachi's little brother," she smiled slightly to soften the answer, but there was no doubt that she would not be swayed on this point.

Something about the way she said that pricked Sasuke's curiosity, but he decided he would grill Itachi on it later. It would give him a counter-measure for the grilling he was sure his brother had in store for him. But at the moment, Sasuke was focused on trying to understand how Naruto's past might have come into play with the end of their relationship.

"Fair enough," Sasuke quickly reformulated the question to be one that Konan would be allowed to answer. "Then could you give me your professional opinion about what types of long-term effects someone who had been through more than ten homes between the age of five and seventeen would face? I don't know the full details of all of them, but some of which included serious physical abuse. Serious enough to put the child in the hospital."

Sasuke had no idea if information was shared between jurisdictions, but he didn't want to be overly specific about Naruto's case. Naruto hadn't shared most of the details with him, anyway. But Sasuke was pretty sure Konan would be able to read between the lines of the story. Probably better than what Sasuke had been able to do at the time, something he was only now coming to realize.

Konan's eyes widened slightly and a look of something that was close enough to pity flashed across her face, making Sasuke glad Naruto wasn't there to see it.

"Well, injuries requiring hospitalization might result long-term _physical_ damage, and the associated trauma of the physical event can often lead to other issues like post-traumatic stress disorder. That would depend on the nature of the events that led to the physical injury, but even without that, the lack of a stable home would have long-lasting damage. The abandonment issues are pretty obvious, but with cases like that, it goes much deeper. Kids who have things like that happen… they're not stupid. They see everyone around them living normal, comfortable lives. And the common factor with all the abuse that they experience is themselves. So they internalize it as being… something about themselves that is unwanted. Un-loveable. They typically become either extremely withdrawn to protect themselves, or very outgoing to over-compensate with lots of relatively superficial relationships. Either way, it becomes increasingly difficult to place them, both because they are older and because they are less open to joining yet another new family. Usually around the fourth family, the kids just give up. If the counselor doesn't do his job, then the kid can end up just drifting through the system or disappearing."

"Gives up?" Sasuke asked, feeling an odd sort of leaden feeling in his stomach.

"Yeah. Gives up. They are used to rejection, used to abuse. The first sign of trouble or neglect in their new home and they walk. Or they self-sabotage and deliberately provoke things with the host parents to make them kick them out."

"Why would they do that?"

"To have some control, even if it's bad control. They've been at the tail end of the whip their whole lives. They realize at some point that they don't have to be taken by surprise if they are the one who instigates things. Instead of constantly being on the defensive, they go on the offense. They leave the new family before the family can leave them. They push anyone away who gets close enough to hurt them. Most of them aren't even aware that they're doing it. They just fall into a pattern of familiar behavior and keep spiraling."

Sasuke wasn't sure why his lungs didn't seem to be working. Naruto had told him that he had a hard time connecting… that he felt like he really hadn't had a home. Sasuke might not have known that Naruto was on the extreme end of shitty foster experiences, but he'd known at least some of it. He hadn't realized how deep it ran, though. He hadn't understood how hard it would have been for Naruto to weather any sort of trouble in their relationship. He still probably didn't understand it, but if he had known what he was dealing with at the time… Sasuke tried to re-focus back on what Konan was saying.

"So what happens to these kids?" Sasuke asked finally.

Konan shrugged, her face looking slightly bitter. "They turn eighteen and the system washes their hands of them."

"Fuck," Sasuke breathed out, scrubbing his hands over his face.

Konan observed him for a moment. "If you're thinking about being in a relationship with someone like this, you better be damn sure you're in it for the long haul. And willing to chase them down when they try to run. Because I can almost guarantee that they will."

Sasuke breathed out a humorless chuckle. Unfortunately, the advice was six months too late.

* * *

Sasuke stepped outside. A gust of wind whipped his jacket open but he didn't pay it any mind. He felt slightly numb from the conversation he'd just had with Konan. His mind was replaying arguments from the past where Naruto had been unhappy with the long hours Sasuke worked but unable to articulate why he was angry about it. At the time, Sasuke had written it up to the fact that Naruto had simply had unrealistic expectations of what life after college would be like.

It had pissed Sasuke off back then. Sasuke had busted his ass to put himself through college with no help from anyone, and he wasn't going to sabotage the job he'd just to play at being in college again. He had to pay off his debts and needed to prove himself, to show at least to himself that he was worth something, even if his parents would never see it. Naruto had known what Sasuke had wanted to do since they day they'd met, and Sasuke hadn't been able to understand why Naruto had reacted the way he had.

Sasuke had thought that - if anything - Naruto should have been happy that Sasuke was willing to bear the brunt of their financial burdens, giving Naruto some breathing room to figure out his own career. Instead, Naruto had just seemed resentful. So when Naruto had finally stopped bringing it up, Sasuke had been relived. He'd assumed that Naruto had finally realized that Sasuke was just doing what he had to do.

But that hadn't been it at all.

For the past six months, Sasuke had felt sure in his anger at Naruto's betrayal of trust. It had seemed like Naruto had just walked out to find someone who was easier to live with or that Naruto hadn't cared enough about their relationship to fight for it. Sasuke had been angry that Naruto hadn't given _Sasuke_ the chance to fight for it, either, making the decision all on his own to end their relationship for a reason that Sasuke didn't understand. It had totally blindsided Sasuke and he had just shut down his feelings for Naruto, writing their relationship off as a huge mistake on his part. That Naruto somehow hadn't been the person he'd thought he was.

His conversation with Konan had cast everything in a new light. Slowly, the pieces were clicking into place that hadn't made sense before. The inconsistency between the way Naruto had told Sasuke that their relationship was the most important thing to him compared to the way he'd left. The fact that Naruto used to argue about everything, but had walked away without a fight in the end.

Everything had gone wrong, but… not for the reasons Sasuke had thought. It made all the decisions he'd made seem less certain, less clear. Sasuke's phone vibrated in his jacket pocket, but he ignored it. He just pushed his hands deeper into his coat pockets against the chilly evening air. Right then, he didn't want to talk to anyone. He just needed to think.

Instead of heading back towards Itachi's apartment, Sasuke walked down towards the well-lit city park. His brother's shift would go for another hour. It would give Sasuke some time to try to think through what he'd learned about the man he'd dated for six years and obviously failed to understand.

* * *

Itachi looked up from his laptop as Sasuke walked in. Sasuke braced himself for an interrogation, but Itachi didn't ask him any questions.

"I got back an hour ago. I was beginning to wonder if you'd left." Itachi's words surprised Sasuke. He must have completely lost track of time walking around the park for that long.

"You look cold. Where did you go?" Itachi's voice sounded neutral, but Sasuke knew his brother well enough to detect the hint of concern within it.

"I went for a walk," Sasuke said as he removed his jacket and shoes.

"I haven't started dinner yet. If you want, we could do take-out instead tonight," Itachi said.

Cooking was a ritual for the brothers, a throw-back to their childhood where they mostly had to take care of themselves with both their parents working long hours. Take-out was expensive and had been reserved for times when the brothers had not been able to cook, either due to illness or finals or some other traumatic event.

The last time they had ordered take-out was when Itachi had lost a patient, a child that had been the victim of a hit-and-run. They had ordered take-out and watched movies, not speaking, but sitting together on the couch under a shared blanket. They had fallen asleep together on the sofa, Sasuke knowing without being asked that Itachi had not wanted to be alone.

Sasuke looked over at his brother, wondering if Konan had called him or if Itachi just had a sixth sense for when Sasuke was upset. He supposed it didn't matter.

"Sushi?" Sasuke suggested, his reply sufficient acknowledgement of his emotional state. Itachi could be a ruthless bastard when he wanted to be, but for the moment, he was going to simply be there for Sasuke.

Itachi ordered sushi and brought out some sake to have with it. They set the sake out on Itachi's coffee table as Itachi selected a movie to watch while they waited for their food to arrive. They didn't bother with small talk, both men fully comfortable with silence. There would be plenty of time to analyze the situation later, when Sasuke was ready to do so.

. - . - . -

"I'm going to have to talk to Neji," Sasuke said as the third movie ended.

Itachi looked unsurprised as he handed the remote to Sasuke, letting him search through the Netflix menu to pick what they'd watch next. Sasuke selected _The Usual Suspects_ and set the remote back on Itachi's coffee table.

"I think that would be a good idea," Itachi finally replied. "And Naruto?"

Sasuke was silent for a moment, watching the opening scene of the movie. It had been six months since they'd broken up and Naruto was now seeing someone else, or at least dating. Based on their last conversation, it was clear that Naruto thought Sasuke had cheated on him or at least had not been completely honest about Neji. And there was the fact that Naruto had slept with Sasuke after he'd made the decision to walk out.

"I don't know," Sasuke said, pouring himself the last of the sake. "But either way, I need to talk with Neji."

* * *

 _To be continued…_

 **A/N:** So now we have major progress. Some of you were waiting for Gaara and Naruto's date, and some were waiting for Sasuke to realize the thing with Neji wasn't working. I think most people wanted to know more about Naruto's childhood and what was going on with him, so hopefully it feels like progress? Let me know what you think.

PS, it was fun to try to think about what movies Sasuke and Itachi would watch together. I see Naruto liking action movies with lots of explosions and whatever, but for Sasuke and Itach I was leaning more towards thrillers and psychological, mind-fuck stuff. Gee, I wonder why?


	18. Storms

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **A/N:** Thanks to Tandy_Hard and Annairea for reading this through in advance!

* * *

 **Chapter 18 -** **Storms**

Sasuke rang the buzzer at Neji's door. He still hadn't decided what he was going to do regarding the things Konan had told him, but that wouldn't change the conversation he had to have with Neji. Neji opened the door, his expression looking mildly curious. It was unusual for Sasuke to ask to come over this late at night.

"Sasuke," he said, stepping back so Sasuke could enter the apartment.

"Sorry for coming by so late," Sasuke began as he removed his shoes.

Neji's eyebrows rose at the words. "In the two years I've known you, I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've heard you say 'sorry'. And it was never for something as minor as coming by to my place when you'd called ahead and asked me if it was convenient to drop by. I would have said no if I didn't want you here, Sasuke." Neji looked at him for a moment. "What's wrong?"

Sasuke finished untying the laces of his second shoe, then placed his shoes neatly in the carved, teak shoe rack by the door.

"This conversation may call for alcohol," Sasuke said finally, reaching in his bag to pull out a bottle of high-end sake, handing it to Neji.

"Is there a problem with the project?" Neji asked, his eyes showing concern.

Somehow that statement made Sasuke relax. Neji's 'worst case scenario' was something going wrong with the project they'd worked on together. Work was Neji's priority. Just like it was Sasuke's. Or – at least – it _had_ been Sasuke's.

"No. The project is great. We made the latest " _Ones to Watch_ " list, remember?"

Neji snorted. "Yes, I have the issue. My uncle sent me a small card congratulating me. He didn't bother to sign it, but I'm sure it was the thought that counted." He rolled his eyes slightly at the comment and Sasuke felt his lips curve into an answering smirk. He was sure his own parents hadn't seen the magazine issue that had featured a list of the top 20 up-and-coming young innovators in Japan, but if they had, he had no doubt that all they would say would be that Itachi would have been number one if he had gone into engineering instead of saving lives. And even if they were right, Sasuke didn't really need to hear it for the ten thousandth fucking time. He had simply recycled the extra copies of the magazine that had been sent to him. There was no one for him to send it to.

Neji poured them each a glass, handing Sasuke one then taking the bottle over to the living room and placing it on a traditional low coffee table. Sasuke sat down across from Neji and took a sip from his glass but didn't drain it. Neji did the same.

"You've been distracted since your run-in with that intoxicated person at the bar last week," Neji ventured after a moment, clearly testing the waters.

Sasuke let out a breath. There was no point beating around the bush on this. Neji was far too perceptive to be fobbed off by anything less that the complete truth. Sasuke wouldn't insult him by being anything less than completely honest. "Yes."

Neji nodded slowly, finishing off his drink then pouring them both more. "It had seemed like things between you and your ex were quite final."

Sasuke emptied his freshly topped-off glass. "They were."

"Were. But they aren't anymore?" Neji asked astutely.

"I… don't know," Sasuke admitted.

Neji's hand tightened around his sake glass, the only sign that showed he was upset by the turn in conversation. "What would anything that… _person_ said make you change your mind? He was obviously just angry. From what you'd told me, he was your ex's best friend. Why would you take anything he said seriously?"

"I didn't," Sasuke replied, finding it somewhat annoying that Neji was avoiding using Naruto's name. It wasn't as though the man didn't know it. "I'm not an idiot. Kiba never really was happy Naruto was dating me in the first place."

"Then why let him get to you?" Neji queried.

Sasuke was silent for a moment. "Because what he said explained some of the things that didn't make sense about the way things ended."

"Why does it matter? You told me you didn't want anything to do with him anymore," Neji's voice had an edge of anger and something else that Sasuke didn't want to acknowledge.

"I didn't want anything to do with Naruto because if he was capable of walking away without a fight then he wasn't the man I thought I was dating."

Neji looked down at his empty sake glass for a moment, then slowly reached over to the bottle and refilled it. "And now you think maybe he left for some other reason, and you're not sure how you feel."

Sasuke hesitated, then nodded slightly.

"You know, whatever fucked up childhood he had wasn't your fault. Even if what Kiba said was all true, it doesn't make it your problem to go fix him. We all have baggage, Sasuke."

"I know that. This isn't about _fixing_ Naruto."

"Then what is it about?" Neji asked, his voice sharp, but it was clear he already knew the answer.

"This, between us, wasn't supposed to get serious," Sasuke said after a moment gesturing slightly between them. "You told me about your family's plans for you. It didn't include me. That was laid out at the start, Neji."

"But that is still years away, Sasuke. You're walking away from this because…," Neji trailed off. "Do you even know if what Kiba said was true?"

Sasuke turned his glass slowly with his elegant fingers. "I spoke with someone from Children's Services."

Neji's eyebrows shot up at the admission. "You're really serious about him then, if you're willing to research his story after he walked out on you on probably the most important day of your career."

"Maybe."

Neji looked off to the side of the room. "Do you even know if he's still interested in you? Presumably he left for a reason."

Sasuke shrugged slightly, ignoring the sting that the jab inflicted. "I don't know. And I might not even end up talking to him again, but I need to figure it out."

Neji didn't say anything, his mouth flattened into a thin line.

Sasuke stood, setting his glass on the table. "We work well together, Neji. But I can't offer more than that anymore."

Neji nodded tightly. "I appreciate that you told me, even if it wasn't what I wanted to hear."

Sasuke nodded in acknowledgement, Neji's words indicating that was time for Sasuke to leave.

Neither man spoke as Sasuke pulled his shoes on and left the apartment, the door closing behind him quietly but firmly.

* * *

Sasuke didn't look back as he walked away from Neji's door towards the elevator. He hoped their friendship would be salvageable, but the thought that maybe it wouldn't be didn't make him waver in the slightest, and he knew that it wasn't simply because Neji's future involved a wife and kids. His relationship with Neji had made sense in all the logical ways… they were physically and intellectually compatible with similar ambitions and career aspirations.

But Sasuke didn't feel… _alive_ with Neji the way he had with Naruto. Naruto might have made Sasuke crazy, might have made him angrier and more frustrated than anyone that Sasuke had ever met. But Naruto also made Sasuke feel… everything else, too. Even if things ended up not working out with Naruto, Sasuke couldn't settle for someone that didn't make him feel something.

Neji was professional. If their paths crossed again through work, he knew the man would still work with him. At least, Sasuke hoped so. But he wouldn't sacrifice everything else for it. He tried to tamp down on the growing sense of urgency he'd been feeling since his conversation with Kiba. He pulled out his phone in the elevator, scrolling through until he found Naruto's contact information.

He didn't call him. What would he even say? The last time Naruto had made any sort of intentional contact had been to e-mail him on Sasuke's birthday, which Sasuke had deleted without responding. Naruto's birthday had come and gone and Sasuke had not reciprocated. When Naruto had run into him the other day on accident, he had clearly been the last person Naruto had wanted to see and Naruto had basically accused him of lying about his relationship with Neji.

Sasuke pulled out his keys as he walked back to his car. Neji might not be happy with him right now, but in the end, what mattered most to Neji was his career and his family. Sasuke had already helped with the first and would never be invited to the second. Neji would get over him without too much difficulty. Sasuke had been upfront about what he was able to offer from the beginning. Neji may have developed more feelings since then, but Sasuke had not led him on in any way. It was never meant to have been anything more than temporary on both sides.

Sasuke sighed. This was why he had always avoided relationships before Naruto. Sasuke had walls that he didn't let people past, and it never ended well. Naruto solved that by simply kicking them all down. Sasuke's jaw tensed as he started his car and pulled out of the parking space.

Neji had made a good point, though. Naruto had left for a reason.

Heavy rain hit his windshield as soon as he exited the underground parking garage, and he switched on his wipers as he made his way through the evening traffic. Konan had said that kids who had gone through what Naruto had often struggled to have normal relationships both as children and adults. Sasuke knew that if he wanted to try again with Naruto, he'd have to figure out what that meant for him and whether he'd actually be able to do it. He wasn't good at relationships. Naruto had been the one exception. They'd lasted for six years. More than half of those years had been good. Was there enough still between them to make it worth fighting for? If Naruto needed reassurance and affirmation, Sasuke was probably not the best guy for the job. Sasuke had grown up in a home devoid of affection and had really no idea how to express that outside of sex. Neither of them really knew what the fuck they were doing in terms of family or relationships. They'd been making it up as they went along and - obviously - it hadn't been enough.

Still, those six years had been the closest Sasuke had ever come to being happy.

He parked his car and made his way back to his apartment. He went directly to his bathroom, stripping off his clothes and turning on the shower. His body felt tense, and he needed to relax.

He hated indecision.

The hot water didn't do much to take away the strange anxiety that he felt coiling through him. He wanted to talk to Naruto, but he had no idea what to say. Just because he finally understood why Naruto left didn't mean they belonged together.

Sasuke's career was taking off. He was succeeding beyond what he'd set out to do. But why did none of it make him happy? His parents were never going to care. He had told himself a million times that he wasn't doing this for them. But if he was working this hard for himself, then he should be happier with his success than he was. Why wasn't he happy?

He wrapped the black towel around his waist, picking up his discarded clothes and placing them in his hamper. He glanced at his bed, but didn't move towards it despite the late hour. His thoughts were uncharacteristically scattered, and the resulting restlessness made him unable to even consider attempting sleep. The curtains in his bedroom were open, giving him a clear view of the storm that had descended on the city. Lightning flashed, ripping a crooked path across the sky as the wind picked up. As vivid as the lightning, a memory tore through Sasuke's mind.

This time, instead of fighting it, he let it come.

* * *

 _"_ _Sasuke! Did you see that lightning flash? It was amazing!" Naruto had his head tilted back, laughing as rivulets of rain washed over his handsome upturned face. He had removed his suit jacket in the car, and the rain had turned his shirt nearly transparent as it clung wetly to his body. Sasuke found himself frozen, watching Naruto for a moment before reality descended on him again._

 _"_ _Idiot. Our clothes are going to get ruined," Sasuke said as he stepped out of the car, prepared to dash into the lobby of their hotel. He'd successfully completed his first project and he and Naruto had celebrated by taking a weekend trip to a nearby town known for its hot springs to relax. Of course, the trip hadn't even started before a huge storm had hit the area, the rain coming so hard they had hardly been able to find their way through the streets to the hotel._

 _Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand, tugging him closer and preventing him from running indoors. "So? All your suits look the same, anyway. No one will notice one less."_

 _Sasuke never understood what it was about Naruto that made him go along with whatever insane thing Naruto came up with. It was stupid to stay out in the rain and they were probably both going to get sick because of it, but somehow he found himself allowing Naruto to pull him closer. Despite the cool rain, he could feel the heat of Naruto's skin radiating from him, penetrating through the damp fabric of their clothes._

 _"_ _You look like a drown cat," Sasuke said gruffly, his eyes locking with the midnight blue eyes that were looking back at him with wicked amusement and lust._

 _"_ _And you look like the man I want to see naked as soon as humanly possible," Naruto returned, slipping his surprisingly warm hands under the wet fabric of Sasuke's jacket._

 _"_ _Tch," Sasuke turned his head slightly away, but his half-hearted show of resisting didn't fool either of them. Sasuke felt his cheeks heat as he glanced around to see if anyone had heard them. But of course, they were the only two people foolish enough to be out in the storm._

 _"_ _Come here," Naruto murmured, slipping his fingers into Sasuke's now wet hair, pulling him down into a kiss._

 _Sasuke drew back slightly when he felt Naruto's tongue slide across his lower lip._

 _"_ _We're in the middle of the sidewalk, idiot. Someone will see us." Sasuke tried to get his pulse back under control, but the feel of Naruto's body pressed against his was making it difficult._

 _Naruto grinned as another flash of lightning split the sky, the air shaking with thunder. "It's two in the goddamn morning in the middle of a gigantic storm, Sasuke. No one is around to see. And I wouldn't care even if they were. They could all eat their hearts out to know that I'm the one taking you to my bed tonight. Now stop talking and open your fucking mouth for me."_

 _Naruto pulled him down into a fierce open-mouthed kiss. The energy of the storm seemed to flare through Sasuke's blood and he couldn't help responding, pressing Naruto's mouth open even wider and deepening the kiss His protests of a moment before becoming forgotten as their teeth clicked together while the wind and rain whipped wildly against their bodies._

 _"_ _Nnnggghhh," Sasuke groaned as he gripped Naruto by his ass and crushed their bodies together. "Fuck, Naruto!"_

 _Naruto chuckled darkly against Sasuke's mouth. No one had ever made Sasuke feel this heady recklessness… this rush of pure adrenaline. On his own, Sasuke knew he was reserved. Focused and driven, he wasn't the kind of man to stand out in the rain much less participate in public sexual activity. But Naruto turned him into someone else. Naruto always got under his skin, either with temper or lust or sheer insanity and Sasuke ended up doing things that he'd never imagined in a million years._

 _Naruto made Sasuke feel alive._

 _"_ _Sasuke…," Naruto murmured, sliding their hips together. Sasuke was so hard, so turned on, he knew he'd never make it back up to the hotel room. They stumbled into the alley behind the hotel. Despite being worried about being seen merely kissing in the street two minutes earlier, Sasuke ended up pressed against the weathered bricks in the alley his hands fumbling with the fastening of Naruto's pants just as Naruto's were wrenching Sasuke's open. The cool water instantly heated as it slid along their exposed flesh, the wet sounds and desperate gasps drown out by the pounding rain. All thoughts of what would happen to his clothes, whether someone would see them, even whether they'd get struck by lightning were wiped from his mind by the sheer intensity of the feeling of being alive and totally wrapped up in Naruto… all logic consumed by the intensity between them._

* * *

Sasuke stared out at the night, feeling the energy of the storm surging. He wondered if Naruto was looking at the same storm, remembering the same night. Or if Naruto was with someone else, already having moved on. The happiness he'd felt then had had nothing to do with his career. And being with Neji hadn't even come close.

"Fuck," he bit out, wondering how things would have played out differently if he had understood Naruto's past better. Would he have been able to give him what he needed?

The rain that pounded against his window offered no answers.

* * *

Naruto laughed as he peeled off his soaking-wet sweatshirt, throwing it into the plastic bag that Shino had helpfully provided.

"So much for camping," Kiba sighed as he dried off his hair with one of the fluffy-white towels the double hotel room offered.

"Well, there is a reason that most of the campgrounds are closed this time of year," Shikamaru said drily as he wrung water out of his T-shirt into the tub in the bathroom.

"Man, that was _classic_ ," Naruto snickered, peeling off a water-logged sock and throwing it at a disgruntled-looking Shino, who caught it with a wet slap. "I don't think the tents had even been up ten minutes before the storm hit. Whose job was it to check the weather forecast, anyway?"

Shino and Shikamaru both looked at Kiba, who flung his hands out. "Hey! You all have phones. None of you checked either!"

"True. But you were the one assigned the task," Shino said, nodding his head in agreement with his own statement, though everyone ignored him. "I have other uses for my phone."

"Yeah. Surfing porn. But that isn't the kind of 'wet' we needed to worry about," Shikamaru said, walking out of the bathroom shirtless and eyeing the two queen beds in the only available room.

"So now what are we going to do?" Kiba asked somewhat forlornly, looking at his and Shikamaru's fishing gear. They each had their own hobby to pursue on the rare camping trips that they took as a group together. Kiba and Shikamaru would fish (though Shikamaru's fishing looked suspiciously like sleeping) while Shino and Naruto would hike through the surrounding areas, Shino looking for insects the way a bird watcher looks for interesting birds, and Naruto taking photos of everything from the landscape to the people who lived on it, and sometimes even an interesting bug if Shino found one cool enough. But all of that had been washed out by the arrival of a storm that was just shy of being categorized as a typhoon.

"It's going to take us some time to get our gear dried out," Shino said, nudging a sodden sleeping bag laying in a small puddle of water in the corner of the hotel room.

"Any idea when the storm is going to clear?" Naruto asked, picking up his phone to see what he could find. "Fuck. Not until tomorrow afternoon."

"The only advantage of off-season camping is that the hotel didn't fill up with other stranded campers when the storm hit," Shikamaru said, flopping down on the bed despite his wet pants.

"Dude! Get the fuck off the bed! You're getting it all wet!" Kiba picked up a towel and snapped it on Shikamaru's exposed stomach, earning a sharp curse but it got him up off the bed where he peeled off his wet jeans and pulled on a pair of sweatpants that his suitcase had fortunately prevented from getting soaked.

Kiba was not as lucky, and he stared forlornly at the pile of wet clothes that filled his suitcase.

Shikamaru smirked. "I told you there was no advantage to being the first one to get your shit out of the car and into the tent."

"Fuck you, Nara," Kiba grumbled.

"Nah, you're too soggy," Shikamaru laid back down on the bed, not bothering to hide his amusement at Kiba's shout of outrage.

"Dude, you can borrow some of my pants," Naruto told Kiba, tossing him a dry pair of jeans from his bag.

"How come your stuff isn't wet like mine? You unloaded your bag when I did!"

"Waterproof gear," Naruto said, patting the side of the bag. "Did you forget I spent four months hiking through jungles and rain forests this year? What, did you think I had good weather the whole fucking time?"

"Huh," Kiba walked over and picked up Naruto's bag to examine it. "I'm going to get me one of these for next time."

"We could still hike even with the rain," Shino offered, looking out the window as the rain and wind lashed against it.

The other three men looked skeptically out at the weather.

"Um…," Naruto began, but Shikamaru cut him off.

"No. Fucking. Way. You want to go out in this shit, you go ahead. I'm going to take a nap and warm up. Then we can figure out what to do about dinner."

"Ah, shit. I brought my new double barbeque grill for the campfire. Now I won't get to test it out," Kiba sighed.

"Yeah, the hotel probably wouldn't be too happy about us lighting fire in here," Naruto said, looking slightly bummed as well. The two friends always argued about who got to start the fire. On the few times that Sasuke had joined them on their trips, he'd solved the argument by doing it himself, and with skill enough that no one argued with him about it the next time.

"Trying to get a fire to start outside right now is pretty-much out of the question," Shikamaru said, his eyes closed as the sound of the relentless rain continued outside.

"We could go down to the hot springs. Two of the springs here at the resort are enclosed," Shino offered. "We could at least warm up."

"I don't know… it's not prime vacation season. Most of the people here are old. I don't want to see a bunch of naked old dudes. What about going into town? We could hit a bar and maybe pick up some chicks," Kiba glanced over at Naruto. "Or dudes or whatever flavor you're into these days." Kiba waggled his eyebrows, causing Naruto to roll his eyes.

"Naruto went on a date last week," Shikamaru said without opening his eyes.

"What?! You went on a date and you didn't even tell me?" Kiba looked shocked at the idea. "What gives? Who was it?" Kiba's expression immediately turned serious. "Tell me you didn't just hook up with someone when you heard about Sasuke."

Naruto looked out at the storm, seriously wishing that Kiba hadn't brought Sasuke up. This had been the first trip since the break-up and they had all been carefully not mentioning anything about Sasuke no longer being part of their camping group. The group had formed before Naruto had started dating Sasuke, but after graduation, they'd only had time for one or two trips a year. They had all shifted back to the way it had been before Sasuke had joined in, with no one commenting on it. Naruto sighed. It was bound to come up, so he might as well just get over it.

"Nah. It was someone I met through work," Naruto said, keeping his voice as neutral as he could manage.

"A photographer?" Shino asked.

Naruto could feel the heat slowly creep up the sides of his face. "Um… not really, no."

The three other men waited expectantly for Naruto to state what the occupation of his date actually _was_ , but Naruto just walked over and opened the cooler, looking at the meet they had put inside with the expectation of cooking it over the weekend.

"This is all going to go to waste, isn't it?"

Kiba walked over and closed the cooler lid. "Oh, no. You're not getting out of it that easily, bruh. Who is he? Is it a he? She?"

"He," Shikamaru said lazily from the bed. "Someone named Gaara."

"What? How did you know -" Naruto began.

"You mumbled his name before you passed out drunk the night he texted you for a date," Shikamaru said drily.

"Why was Naruto drinking?" Shino asked as he changed out of his wet clothes.

"Sasuke's dating the dude that Naruto saw him with from work… the one from the restaurant," Kiba growled, anger lacing his voice.

Shino's eyebrows went up, but he didn't say anything more.

"So what's with this Gaara's job that you don't want to tell us what it is?" Kiba asked, noticing Naruto's strained expression and redirecting the conversation. "Is he a stripper or something?" Kiba laughed until he realized that Naruto wasn't joining him. "Holy _shit_ , you're dating a stripper? Fuck, do you have any photos?"

"Gaara's not a stripper, dumbass. And you're not gay, so why are you so interested in what he looks like?" Naruto glared at Kiba.

"I don't care if he's got tits or a dick. Strippers are hot. I wanna see!"

"I just said he wasn't a stripper," Naruto grumbled.

"But he's _something_ , right? I mean… you're beet red. What… he's a pimp? Hooker?"

" _NO_ , you twat. He's… he owns a… a club," Naruto gave in.

Three sets of eyes blinked at him, but Shikamaru was the first to actually respond. "Gaara owns a sex club?"

"Dude, you're dating a _sex club_ owner? Man, you gotta hook me up. I've always wanted to go to one of -"

"It's a _gay_ sex club, Kiba. You wouldn't be interested," Naruto snickered at the dumbfounded expression on Kiba's face.

"You mean… no chicks?" Kiba asked, feeling his fantasy crumbling before his very eyes.

"That's usually what gay sex clubs entail," Shikamaru said drily.

"What would you know about gay sex clubs?" Kiba accused, his eyes widening as Shikamaru simply shrugged.

"I get around."

Kiba, Shino, and Naruto looked at the man lying on the bed for a moment.

"Ok, so wait… _two_ of my friends are gettin' dirty at sex clubs, and why are we -," Kiba gestured to the very plain, non-sex-club-looking hotel room.

"I haven't had sex with Gaara in his club," Naruto said defensively.

"But you've had sex with him," Kiba stated, clearly reading his friend.

Naruto shrugged, and Kiba hooted.

"You _stud_! What was it like? Was he all kinky? What did you guys do?"

"Kiba, shut up," Shikamaru said.

"Unless Naruto would like to answer," Shino added sagely.

"Shino, don't you go perv on me, too. One Kiba is enough," Naruto groaned. "Look, you know I never go into my sex life, so don't ask, Kibs."

Kiba sputtered. "But… but… you're knocking boots with a _sex club owner_. It's like… it's like talking about your job, right? I mean, he's a professional, so I'm sure he won't mind if you -"

"Do I need to hurt you?" Naruto asked, his eyes narrowing.

Kiba made one attempt at a puppy-dog look, but Naruto's eyes only narrowed further.

"Fine, fine!" Kiba grumbled. "But the next time you want to hear about some girl _I'm_ banging -"

"We won't," Shikamaru stated firmly. Kiba had a tendency to 'over-share' on his sex life, and none of the men in the room would miss it if he stopped.

"Alright. Fine," Kiba sulked, then perked up. "So tell us about the non-sex parts of this Gaara guy. What's he like? It is serious? Do you have any pics of him?"

"Kiba," Naruto warned.

"I don't mean naked pics! Just… like of his face or something." No one called Kiba out on his obvious lie.

Naruto pulled out his phone and brought up one of the photos he had taken of Gaara at the club while Shino and Kiba gathered around him. Gaara had told him it was fine to use since no one else was in the picture and wasn't going in the book. It showed the club owner standing by the railing of the mezzanine at the club, looking down over the dance floor. Naruto had taken it in black and white, making the contours of Gaara's bare torso stand out in sharp relief, the clean angles of his jaw and cheekbones making him look both masculine and beautiful at the same time.

"Wow," Shino said after a moment.

Shikamaru reached out his hand making a grabbing motion from where he lay on the one of the two queen beds across the room. Naruto tossed him his phone, and Shikamaru caught it with practiced ease. Shikamaru's eyebrows went up as he looked at the picture.

"I agree with Shino. Wow. If this is the kind of person you meet in your job, I might seriously need to take up photography." Shikamaru looked at the phone a moment more before tossing it back to Naruto.

"So, is it serious?" Kiba asked.

"Kiba. I've gone on _one_ date with the guy."

"Yeah, but you don't usually _have sex_ on the first dates you've been going on. I must have set you up with like twenty people, and you didn't even _kiss_ one of them."

"Bet they didn't look like _that_ ," Shikamaru said.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at his friend. "Hey. I got dibs, Shika."

Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Fine. Whatever. You don't even _like_ sex clubs."

"How do you know?" Naruto asked defensively. Shikamaru only looked at him, and Naruto sighed. "Yeah. I admit it's not really my scene. I mean, the sex is _amazing,_ but like… I don't think I could handle seeing Gaara with someone else if we got serious."

"No shit," Kiba said. "Dude you were ready to kill anyone who even _looked_ at Sasuke when you were together. And that was a lot of people. I still don't know how you didn't end up in jail dating that guy. He was a walking sex magnet."

"Not helping, Kiba," Naruto sighed.

"Look, I'm just saying. I know you, bruh. You don't share. Not when it comes to this." Kiba looked honestly concerned.

"Being a sex-club owner doesn't mean he has to have sex with his patrons," Shino offered.

Naruto sighed. "It's more than that. Gaara… doesn't believe in monogamous relationships." Naruto gave a run-down on Gaara's view of relationships to his friends and why Gaara found the entire notion outdated.

Kiba looked horrified, but Shikamaru and Shino merely looked thoughtful.

"Gaara makes some good points," Shikamaru acknowledged, sounding almost impressed. "But it would never work for you."

Naruto chuckled, but it didn't sound convincing. "Ah, you're just trying to talk me into giving you his number, Shika."

Shikamaru levered himself up on his forearms to look at Naruto, his face serious. "I just don't want to see you fall into another relationship that's going to screw you up. You just got out of a relationship with someone you feel like you weren't enough for, that you couldn't hold his interest. I just don't see how it makes sense to dive right into _another_ relationship with someone who has already made it clear doesn't want the same things you do, and categorically _states_ that one person isn't enough to hold his interest."

Naruto slanted a glare at Shikamaru. "Does it always have to be logical? I mean… I'm a guy. Can't I just think with my dick for a little while? Gaara is fun, smart, interesting and the sex is…," Naruto gestured, unable to come up with an appropriate word. "Why do I need to expect anything more? Can't I just take this for what it is? I like him."

The other three men in the room exchanged a long-suffering look.

"No, Naruto. You aren't wired that way. You're going to fall for this Gaara guy and try to tell yourself that you can change his mind or be what he needs or some other bullshit and end up emotional roadkill again," Kiba stated flatly.

Naruto huffed, but didn't say anything. He would be lying if it hadn't crossed his mind that maybe Gaara would… change his mind about relationships. But even if he did, the sex club would still be an issue. He scrubbed his hands over his face. No, he wouldn't look for more with this. He and Gaara were friends and the sex thing was just… he could manage that. "I'll keep my head on straight. I know my limits."

He pretended not to see the collective eye-rolling in the room that followed his statement. Naruto looked out at the rain, and tried to not think about another storm years ago and the man he had shared it with. Another man who had told Naruto what his priorities in life were from the very beginning, but Naruto had tried and failed to live with them.

* * *

 _To be continued..._

 **A/N** : So Neji and Sasuke are over. I know it was pretty clear it was coming, but now it is finally done. I am curious if people think Sasuke is ready to try to reach out to Naruto yet or not? I know what I think he will do, but I want to know if you guys are mentally in the same place I am on this or not LOL. Let me know what you think!

PS - June 3, 2016 - on of my prior betas, BriEva, is an animation student. She has formed a team in one of her classes and they are launching a new website at www . thedemonwithinproduction . com Please check it out!


	19. Reaching out

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **A/N** : Another chapter in just under the two week wire! As we get closer to the end of the fic, I need to spend more time re-reading earlier chapter to make sure I tie it all up, so the writing gets harder. Especially when the majority of this chapter is Uchiha dialogue (seriously, pulling teeth from a snail is easier than writing Sasuke and Itachi have a conversation about relationships and emotions LOLOL). Un-beta'd!

* * *

 **Chapter 19: Reaching out**

* * *

Naruto had never felt as much visceral hatred of a photo as he did the one he was currently looking at. He knew it was stupid to continue to periodically stalk Itachi's Facebook page for news on how Sasuke was doing. Naruto obviously had a masochistic streak a mile fucking wide, but this… this was the icing on the cake.

Itachi had reblogged an article from a tech trade journal where they had showcased their list of the top 20 young innovators for the year. Seventh on the list showed a picture of two very familiar faces. Sasuke was sitting at a large desk, with Neji standing next to him.

 _Hyuuga and Uchiha prodigies, pushing the boundaries with their latest innovation…_

Naruto skimmed through the rest of the article, not understanding the technical terms used to describe exactly what it was that Sasuke and Neji had come up with, but evidently it was cool enough to make the industry sit up and take note.

The expressions on both men's faces were flawlessly stoic, as usual. Perfectly matching looks of confidence and shit-together. Naruto hated how well-suited they looked. Hated how even the fucking _magazine_ had paired their stories together. He tried to tamp down on the bitterness that Sasuke had found someone that fit so well with his life. It wasn't that he didn't want Sasuke to be happy and successful. But it was so fucking hard to watch it from a distance when - for so long - Naruto had thought he would be the one to celebrate Sasuke's successes with him. Now Naruto was instead left wondering when things with Neji had really started. How much of what they'd had was just Sasuke biding his time until he found someone he actually meshed with.

Naruto fought the familiar feeling of dread blended with determination as he considered his own life. He was managing to live on his own for the first time. Some nights were rough, but Shikamaru or Kiba or even Shino were always happy to have Naruto come and hang out with them if he needed company. But it wasn't the same as what he'd thought he'd been building with Sasuke. It wasn't _family._ They all had their own lives, and would eventually find their own partners to share it with. Naruto had no idea what he was doing anymore. He still desperately wanted to put down roots, to have that sense of stability and belonging that he'd craved his entire life. He had always assumed that he would find it, build it for himself as an adult. But now he wasn't really sure he had the skills to actually do it, that he wouldn't just keep fucking it up over and over again. He'd thought Sasuke was the one but…

Naruto sighed. He needed to stop thinking about that. After all, he had found Gaara. And even if it wasn't the kind of relationship Naruto would have wanted, he was giving it a try. It might not be perfect, but it might be all someone as damaged as he was could really handle.

But it was hard to hold back. Naruto honestly liked Gaara but he knew better than to open himself up the way he had with Sasuke. He had to keep reminding himself that Gaara wasn't looking for the same things. Maybe Sasuke hadn't been, either, but Naruto hadn't understood that at the time. It had felt good to be trying, though, even if it had blown up in the end, and Naruto missed that feeling. When he had been with Sasuke, especially in the beginning, it had felt like they had both put themselves out there, equally uncertain and equally at risk. Gaara put himself out there, too, but only in certain ways, and always with limits.

Naruto frowned, annoyed at his line of thinking. He shut down his thoughts as he logged out of Facebook and closed his laptop. He told himself he wouldn't check Itachi's page again, and ignored the fact that he told himself that every week but still found himself stupidly coming back for more.

"Dude, when are you going to give me my towel back?" Kiba's voice snapped Naruto out of his thoughts as Kiba walked out of the bathroom in Naruto's apartment holding a large, brown bath towel that had been hanging over the shower door when Kiba had gone to use the bathroom.

Naruto shrugged, walking over to the sink to pour himself a glass of water. "You have another one. I just haven't had a chance to go out and buy my own yet."

"What happened to yours? You had that ass-ugly orange one from college that you swore you'd use until it fell apart."

Naruto took a long drink of his water, hoping to wait out Kiba's curiosity about the subject. He didn't want to think about why he'd left it with Sasuke. Or whether the man had set it on fire in his bathtub as soon as Naruto had left. Fortunately, his faith in Kiba's ADD paid off, bath towels not proving to be an interesting enough subject matter to hold his attention.

"So are we doing this today or what?" Kiba asked, stretching his arms over his head.

"Yeah, let's head out. I'm going to be out of town for the rest of the week on a shoot, so we'd better get started if we're gonna do this." Naruto put his empty glass down and grabbed his gym bag. They had worked out together all through high school, played on the same sports teams and trained together. College had put a stop to that, with both of them at different schools and focusing on their studies. But they had decided to join a gym together and get back into it a bit. Naruto knew it was likely Kiba's way of keeping tabs on him to make sure he was doing ok, but he didn't mind. He bumped his shoulder into Kiba's as he walked past him towards the door.

"Prepare to get your ass beat, bitch," Kiba grinned, slinging his own bag over his shoulder.

"In your dreams, dog boy," Naruto replied, matching his friend grin for grin as they headed out.

* * *

"Really, Sasuke? We're eating here _again_?" Karin complained as she walked to what had become their new regular table in the restaurant.

" _Seriously_ , man," Suigetsu groaned in agreement. "Twice a week here was more than enough. This is the third time in a row this _week_. I'd ask if you were hot for one of the waitresses here or something, but I'm pretty sure Neji would have my balls for even suggesting it." Suigetsu waggled his eyebrows suggestively, not noticing Sasuke's closed-off expression.

"Speaking of Neji, he hasn't been around this week. Is he busy on a project, or what?" Karin asked.

Sasuke ignored them, taking his usual seat at the table that looked out over the street. A waitress approached, her eyes locked on Sasuke, a smile on her lips that said she would be more than happy to service him in any way he wanted. Sasuke didn't shift his gaze from the window as he placed his order. The rest of the team followed with only minimal grumbling about eating there _again._

As soon as the waitress left, Suigetsu and Karin got into an argument about whose turn it was to file the requisition paperwork for the extra resources the project needed.

Juugo watched them for a moment, then turned and spoke quietly to Sasuke. "If you want me to ask the waitress if she knew the blond man you spoke with after dinner last week, I can."

For the first time that evening, Sasuke's eyes moved from the window to look at one of his dining companions.

"If you wanted to find out his name," Juugo explained.

Sasuke glanced over to where Suigetsu and Karin were still arguing. "I know his name," Sasuke said quietly, realizing that his team must have exited the restaurant after he'd said Naruto's name, or been too far away to hear their conversation.

Juugo looked confused. "If you know who he is, then… why are we here looking for him every day?"

Sasuke was grateful that nothing could distract Karin and Suigetsu from each other once they really got into it. "I'm not looking for him."

Juugo raised an eyebrow skeptically, but didn't say anything as they waited for their food to arrive. Sasuke forced himself not to watch the window as much has he had been, participating nominally in the conversation his team was having.

It wasn't that he wanted to talk to Naruto if he saw him going home. He still had no idea what he'd say to Naruto if they ran into each other. When Sasuke eventually decided what he wanted to say to Naruto, he could easily contact him. He knew the apartment building Naruto lived it, so it wouldn't be hard to find out which number was his. And Sasuke still had Naruto's cell number. But all those options were off limits until he figured out what he was going to do.

For now, he just… wanted to see Naruto. Was Naruto going home alone, or was he with someone else at the end of the day? Sasuke supposed he could reach out to some of their mutual friends to see if Naruto was dating someone seriously or if he had just been going out for the night. Sasuke didn't really want to think about it, but eventually he knew he'd have to find out.

The vibration of his phone going off brought him out of his thoughts. A text from Itachi popped up, and Sasuke bit back a sigh when he read it.

 _I'm coming up for dinner this Friday. No excuses._

He knew the reprieve from brotherly interrogation had been too good to last. Evidently he had only two days of it left.

* * *

"So, are you finally going to tell me what you spoke to Konan about?" Itachi asked as he put the rice balls and miso soup they had cooked together on the table.

Sasuke leveled a look at him as he brought the salad over. "I'm sure you already talked to her about it."

Itachi's gaze cooled somewhat. "Konan would never discuss specifics of her job with me, even if the conversation happened when she was off the clock."

Sasuke watched Itachi, taking in the subtle reprimand in his brother's tone. "Are you dating her?"

"You know very well that I don't 'date'," Itachi replied dismissively, dishing himself and his brother some soup.

"But you like her," Sasuke persisted.

"You know that this topic won't distract me from the conversation we are going to have, don't you?" Itachi asked calmly.

"I'm not trying to distract you."

Itachi simply looked at Sasuke, skepticism evident in his expression.

"Not that it wouldn't be a welcome side effect," Sasuke admitted with an amused glitter in his eyes. "But you aren't the only one who can notice things about his brother's personal life, nii-san. She could hold her own with you, which isn't exactly common. I liked her."

Itachi shrugged minimally. He was not going to continue this line of conversation. Tonight was about Sasuke's fucked up love life, not his own. "Konan told me she wanted to refer you to a psychologist locally, if you were interested. One who had experience in handling the types of situations you discussed."

Itachi took a sip of his wine as he waited for Sasuke's response.

"And she didn't tell you what those 'situations' were?" Sasuke's voice tensed, still skeptical that his ever-invasive older brother hadn't already gotten every last detail of their conversation from her.

"Don't make me repeat myself. It's annoying. She didn't tell me, but given that she called me when she didn't have your number to offer a referral, I'm guessing the situation you discussed was fairly serious. She's doesn't get concerned over small things." Itachi paused briefly, noticing the slight shadow in Sasuke's eyes at his words. He decided that the situation warranted pressing, despite Sasuke's clear annoyance. "So are you going to tell me what this is about? I'm pretty sure you're not working with kids these days, unless you've changed jobs rather abruptly from the last time we spoke."

"Don't pretend you haven't already figured it out," Sasuke said, shooting his brother a look that would have shut a lesser man down.

Itachi didn't even blink. "Shortly after you had a conversation with Konan, you broke up with Neji, so I assume the conversation was about Naruto. And bad enough to have you rethinking things," Itachi stated simply. "Though, given what you said when he walked out, I'm surprised there was anything Konan could say that would make you have doubts about how things ended."

Sasuke's jaw clenched, but he forced himself to continue to chew and swallow as he decided how hard he was going to fight the conversation he knew was about to happen. He hated talking about something before he'd been able to sort it all through on his own, but Itachi didn't appear to be in the mood to let him delay any further. If Sasuke were honest with himself, he was actually surprised that Itachi had waited as long as he had before intervening.

"So are you waiting for me to say that you were right? That I'm the one who fucked up?" Sasuke finally asked, his voice harsh.

Itachi paused in stirring his soup. "No. But I'm curious as to why you seem willing to let Naruto off the hook for walking out when you definitely weren't six months ago. Yet you aren't doing anything about it. It's not like you to be indecisive, Sasuke. What happened?"

Sasuke looked at Itachi for a moment, then spoke. "I was out with Neji two weeks ago. Kiba saw us together."

Itachi simply looked at him. "I can't imagine that you cared particularly what Kiba thought of you. He was never your biggest supporter even when things were good."

"I _don't_ care about what Kiba thinks. But he didn't just talk about me."

Itachi arched a brow.

"He said that…," Sasuke paused, then decided there was no point in censoring it. Itachi would get it all out of him anyway, so he might as well be efficient and get it over with. His voice was inflectionless as he played back the exchange he'd had with Kiba. "He said that I made it clear to Naruto that I wanted him to leave. That Naruto had been through twelve foster homes when he was a kid and so he knew the signs of when someone was done with him, and he left. Kiba told me…," Sasuke took a small pause. "... that I did more damage to Naruto than the piece-of-shit foster parents that used to land Naruto in the hospital, which evidently happened _multiple_ times when he was a kid. Because I made Naruto have to be the one to walk away when I was 'too much of a coward to end it myself'." Sasuke didn't use the finger quotes, but his tone of voice conveyed them perfectly.

A muscle tensed along Itachi's jaw, the only sign that Kiba's accusations or the full disclosure of Naruto's past had any effect on him. It wasn't a topic that had come up in the past, and - while Sasuke was sure Itachi had a sense that Naruto's childhood hadn't been ideal - it was clearly a shock to him to hear the extent of it. Naruto was good at putting up a facade that he was happy and confident. It fooled almost everyone. Sasuke had always prided himself at being the only one to really see through it. Now he wondered if he really had.

"You weren't wanting to end it," Itachi stated, more as an affirmation that he understood Sasuke's side and where Kiba was wrong than actually trying to correct Kiba's statement.

Sasuke drained his glass. "No, I wasn't. But I… didn't understand what Naruto was saying in the beginning when I first started working. He was complaining about my hours and I brushed it off as him being immature and not understanding what the real world was like."

"You didn't know."

Sasuke's lips twisted. "I knew. Naruto had told me that he'd been in the foster system and gone through a few homes. He told me about some of the abuse."

"A few doesn't equal twelve. Did you know he'd been hospitalized?"

Sasuke's hand tensed on the glass. "No. He didn't talk much about it. According to Kiba, I was the only one Naruto said anything to at all. Which is another reason why Kiba hates me. In his view, Naruto opened up to someone for the first time and I used it to rip him apart."

"If Naruto never talked to anyone, then how does Kiba know all this?" Itachi asked, his eyes narrowing. As much as Itachi might have disapproved of some of the choices Sasuke made, he didn't like anyone else going after his brother.

"Kiba only knows what he knows because he grew up with Naruto. He was the one who would visit Naruto in the hospital when they were kids. He knew when Naruto changed addresses. Or showed up at school with bruises." Sasuke cleared his throat, anger and regret making it tight. "But I still knew Naruto had a fucked up childhood."

"Maybe. But you didn't know the extent of it."

Sasuke wasn't going to let himself off the hook that easily. He'd had many nights to lay awake in bed thinking about it. "I could have asked, though. Naruto said he was trying to just move on with his life, so I never pushed for details. I didn't talk much about our parents, either, so I didn't want to be hypocritical and ask him more about his shit when I certainly wasn't going to reciprocate." Sasuke's lips curved up into a humorless smile. "I thought I was being considerate by not pushing." _But maybe it was just cowardice._

"Communication was never your strong suit. And you've spent your life learning to protect yourself emotionally from people close to you. If you decide to try a real relationship again, that's something you're going to have to work on, but you can't force someone to talk about something they aren't ready to. This was on both of you. And don't think Naruto's damage was the only one at play here, Sasuke."

Sasuke's face closed off. "I don't know how you _work_ on that sort of thing. It is what it is. Just because I understand what went wrong doesn't mean any of it is _fixable_. It doesn't mean that we should try again."

Itachi's eyes flashed with temper. "So this is what you want, then? Are you really happy just throwing yourself into work and having that be all there is?"

Sasuke felt his own anger surge. "Right, because you're doing anything different? Don't be a hypocrite, Itachi. You're doing the exact same thing."

"Yes, and right now, I'm happy with that," Itachi stated, pinning Sasuke with his direct gaze. "I'm not trying to prove anything to our parents. I'm not trying to prove anything to myself. I'm doing what I want on my own terms. You're not doing any of those things, Sasuke." The expression on Itachi's face had caused more than one grown man to buckle. Sasuke just met him look for look. "If you were honestly happy, then I would let it drop. Relationships don't always work out. But since Naruto walked out, you can't tell me you've been happy. Despite the fact that your career is taking off, despite finding a lover that you have more in common with and who accepted the small amount of yourself you were willing to give him, you've been miserable."

"And what do you want me to do, Itach'? This isn't a simple 'just sit down and talk it out' kind of thing."

"I see. So then you're just giving up?" Itachi's voice was tinged with impatience. "If you were really ready to walk away from all this, you wouldn't still be thinking about it. You've never had any trouble letting go of relationships before Naruto. Or after him, if what just happened with Neji is any indication. But with Naruto it was different, and you know it."

Sasuke felt frustrated and angry and guilty all at the same time and he didn't know how to deal with any of it. "I don't know if I can give Naruto what he needs. Even if he were open to talking with me again, which is debatable."

Itachi sighed pushing a strand of hair back from his face that had slipped free of the band he'd tied it back with.

"This is what you wanted to talk with Konan about. To find out what kind of damage something like that would do to someone. What he would need in a relationship if it were going to work out." It wasn't a question.

"Yes." The admission was pulled from Sasuke, and he was glad that his brother didn't comment on the fact that Sasuke's decision to talk to Konan was a pretty clear indicator that he wasn't ready to walk away from what he had with Naruto.

"And what did she say?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke shrugged, pouring himself another glass of wine, wishing it were something stronger. "She said that someone with Naruto's history would have definite abandonment issues. They would find it very difficult to let anyone in and basically run at the first sign of trouble. They tend to believe the fault lies with them regarding why they couldn't find a family to take them for the long term."

Itachi didn't speak, knowing Sasuke had had more time to think through the implications.

"So basically, not only did I add another layer onto Naruto's lifelong feeling of being unwanted, but I also made him feel like shit for having to be the one to walk out." Bitterness edged Sasuke's voice, and he didn't hide it from his brother. Itachi would see it, anyways.

"It also seems like she was saying Naruto would look for reasons to leave even if they weren't there. His reactions weren't something you could predict, Sasuke. You were not aware of the extent of his childhood situation, and even if you had been, you're not a psychologist. You couldn't have guessed how he'd react."

"You did. You didn't know Naruto as well as I did, and you still saw it coming."

"It's always easier to see things from the outside. And I didn't know he was going to leave. I just knew he was unhappy."

Sasuke's brow creased in thought.

"Did I ever tell you Naruto turned down a job off he'd gotten right after college? Didn't even tell me much about it, except that it didn't pay much and he didn't want it. I found out later that it would have launched his career, but he didn't even consider it. He didn't even _tell_ me about what it really was until two years later. I was so fucking _pissed_ …" Sasuke trailed off. "I didn't know what he was doing. I didn't understand him at all."

"That is true from both sides, Sasuke. He clearly didn't understand you, either. You both have things that you don't like to talk about, but they define a lot of who you are. It's a miracle you lasted as long together as you did."

Sasuke snorted. "This is supposed to be encouraging?"

Itachi's eyes didn't quite roll, but the intent was clear. "If two people as dysfunctional as the two of you can manage to stick it out for six years without even being _aware_ of your issues, much less _working_ on them, there must be something there. And you know it, or you wouldn't be bothering with setting up meetings with Konan.

Sasuke knew better than to disagree with that statement, so he deflected instead with a truth he was more comfortable expressing. "I'd love to get the fucking list of homes Naruto stayed in when he was a kid."

The dark look in Sasuke's eyes made it perfectly clear just what he would do if he had such a list. Itachi was glad that there were confidentiality laws that would prevent Sasuke from ever getting ahold of those names and addresses, because he really didn't want to have to try to bail his little brother out of jail for a series of assaults or worse. Though he really couldn't find fault with the sentiment.

"So, aside from sharpening a sword to hunt down his past families, what are you going to do?"

Sasuke's lips curve slightly, but his eyes remained clouded.

"When Naruto left, I thought he was either being a coward for not being willing to fight for it, or he hadn't cared as much as I thought he had. As much as he had pretended to. Either way, I had no interest in changing his mind about leaving."

"But now you know that neither of those reasons was the case."

"Yes."

"And?"

Sasuke's eyes flashed with irritation that Itachi was insisting in making him say things outloud. "I didn't try to stop him from leaving before. But knowing what I know now…"

"I'm waiting for you to tell me what's holding you back from doing anything about it when you obviously want to."

"There are several, but to start with, he thinks I was cheating on him with Neji," Sasuke stated, his voice weary. "That's a non-starter for pretty much any conversation at this point."

"Were you?"

Sasuke sent his brother a scathing look. "You know me better than that."

"Hm," Itachi murmured. "There are different kinds of cheating besides just sex. Naruto said that you were more interested in Neji than him even before the break-up."

"That's ridiculous," Sasuke scoffed.

"Is it? You spent all your days and most evenings with Neji. Weekends, too. You had a lot in common with him, on the surface. Same goals, same field, same ambition."

"We were _working_ together on the same fucking _project_. Of course we were talking and spending time together. That doesn't mean it was anything else."

"Except that you've been sleeping with him now."

"That was five months after Naruto and I broke up."

Itachi shrugged. "But it would be natural for Naruto to question everything that came before."

Sasuke scrubbed his hands over his face. "I know."

"So you're going to have to explain it to him before anything else."

"Obviously, but I don't know if he will believe me. Or even hear me out."

"Then you will have to be convincing," Itachi stated, sounding annoyed.

"And how do you suggest I do that?" Sasuke sneered, knowing his brother wasn't any better at any of this than he was.

"Be clear for once about why you like him in the first place. If Neji isn't what you want, and Naruto _is_ , then you have to be able to prove it to him. The fact of the matter is, on the surface, you have a lot more in common with Neji than you do with Naruto, and Naruto was clearly insecure about it. This isn't the kind of thing he'll just let go of. In case you don't remember, the two of you were more than just a little possessive about each other in the past."

"I know." Sasuke didn't have to think too far back to remember his anger at the man who had clearly been hitting on Naruto at the bar the last night they'd been together. Or the twisting feeling in his stomach when he'd watched Naruto get into the cab to go on what was clearly a date after they'd broken up. It had always been that way between them, and it ran both ways, hard and deep.

Itachi poured himself another glass of wine as the silence stretched, watching Sasuke's face intently.

"So why _do_ you still want Naruto? After what Konan told you, it's clear he will require more than other sexual partners would. It would be easier to just find someone else who comes with less baggage. Someone who doesn't need your affirmation of them. Someone who is more independent and won't mind your long hours and closed off personality. I'm sure your caller ID is filled with people who would take whatever you felt like offering."

Sasuke felt himself bristling at the words even though Itachi was intentionally baiting him. "Because that's not what I want."

"Why?"

Sasuke glared at his brother.

"You don't have to answer me, but you're going to have to have an answer for Naruto if you want him back as anything more than a friend." At Sasuke's blank expression, Itachi pushed forward. "Do you even know what you want from him?"

Sasuke frowned. "What do you mean?"

"It's a simple question, Sasuke. What do you want? Do you want to just have Naruto not hate you? Do you want to be friends? Lovers?"

"It's complicated, Itachi."

"No, it's not. Just answer the question: Do you want him back?"

Sasuke paused, even though the answer had immediately been screamed in his mind. Itachi's smug expression told him that he'd already seen the answer in Sasuke's eyes, but he said it out loud anyway.

"Yes."

"Then uncomplicate it, Sasuke."

Sasuke drew a breath to tell his brother to fuck off, but Itachi cut him off, his voice hard and implacable.

"What do you think the chances are that Naruto just _happened_ to rent an apartment literally right next door to the restaurant that you eat at several times a week?"

Sasuke realized his lips were still parted on the indrawn breath he'd taken to ream his brother out, but he couldn't quite manage to close them. Itachi smirked and Sasuke managed to press his lips closed into a tight, annoyed line.

"You really can be foolish, otouto. It's a big city. The chances are _miniscule_."

Sasuke would have been much more pissed off at the condescension in Itachi's tone if his brain wasn't so busy trying to balance processing the information and trying to not read too much into it.

"If he wanted to see me, there are apartments in my building up for lease," Sasuke started, trying to find a hole in what Itachi was implying, but hoping to hell he didn't.

Itachi shrugged. "True, but then if things didn't work out, it would be much more uncomfortable for him. Where Naruto lives now, it guaranteed him a _chance_ of seeing you. But you would be easily avoidable as well if things didn't get better."

Sasuke's mind raced through the possible implications. Naruto was not the kind of person to stalk someone simply to harass them out of anger or vengeance. No. If Naruto had chosen this apartment then he had chosen it because he _wanted_ to see Sasuke, even if it was just through a window of a public restaurant.

Naruto had rented that apartment before he found out about Neji, but it still meant there was a chance. They had a lot to clear up, and a lot to figure out. But nothing could happen if they didn't start talking. If nothing else, that was one lesson Sasuke had learned from the last year of their relationship.

He took out his phone, staring at it for several moments before typing out a text. It was late and he didn't want to call, but he didn't want to wait until tomorrow, either.

 _I think we should talk. Want to meet up for coffee?_

Sasuke smiled slightly, trying to hold down the frisson of nerves as he waited for a reply. Naruto always used to ask Sasuke if he wanted to meet for coffee when they were arguing about something back in college, despite the fact that Naruto never drank the stuff himself. It was usually the signal that Naruto wanted to de-escalate things by meeting on neutral ground.

Sasuke stared at his phone, hoping Naruto wouldn't be so pissed off about Neji that he wouldn't even want to talk. Hoping he hadn't screwed up by reaching out before he really knew what to do if Naruto agreed to meet with him.

* * *

 _To be continued..._

A/N: So…. how receptive do you think Naruto is likely to be to Sasuke's text?


	20. Waiting for the call to come

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **A/N** : UN-BETA'D. I thought I would get this out earlier, but somehow... I didn't? *sighs* I will be traveling overseas for a couple of weeks, and some place I will have internet access and other places I won't, so if there is a delay in the next one, it is probably due to that. I have some long-ass flights to have plenty of writing time, though, so I don't think it will be crazy late.

* * *

 **Chapter 20 - Waiting for the call to come  
**

* * *

Naruto stepped off the train, slinging his bag of camera equipment over his shoulder, careful not to jostle his lenses too much even though he had become an expert at packing them. The crowd was tight, the weekend rush pressing him on the platform despite the late hour. He glanced at his watch. It was only eleven. He had several hours to kill before Gaara would be done at the club. Since it was a Friday night, Naruto knew that there was no way Gaara would be home before three.

Of course, Naruto knew he was more than welcome to come to the club. Gaara had given him an open invitation. Naruto just wasn't sure he was ready for that. He was used to having exclusive relationships, and he didn't know how he'd handle running into people Gaara had slept with, or - worse - might be currently sleeping with. Naruto had forced himself to not ask Gaara about his other relationships. Gaara had been up front from the beginning that he didn't believe in exclusivity, so Naruto didn't feel like he had the right to ask, really. Plus, he knew himself well enough that he was worried he might be a bit of a dick about it if he had to deal with it directly. At best, he would just be really upset.

So on the days that he and Gaara arranged to meet up, they either caught dinner and hung out before the club opened, or Naruto came up after the club had closed. They didn't talk about what happened on the days they didn't meet, but Naruto knew he'd have to deal with it eventually, one way or another.

But not right now. For now, he and Gaara were simply enjoying getting to know each other by physically and mentally. And Naruto would be the first to admit he liked the non-physical side of their relationship as much as the physical side. Gaara was intelligent, had a wicked, dry sense of humor, and was totally without judgement on any of Naruto's (many) idiosyncrasies. They were having fun, and that's all Naruto was probably ready for at the moment, anyway.

Naruto took a cab to the hotel where he had booked the night. He would take a train back home in the afternoon since Gaara had to work the next day. He checked in, the grit on his skin making him fantasize about taking a nice long shower while he waited for Gaara. He didn't think he'd had sand in more places since he was a kid playing in the dirt on the school playground. He'd been taking photos of a motorcycle race on a dirt track that had rapidly turned to mud with the light rain that had fallen just before the race. With the mud spraying as the riders caught air off the hill Naruto had set up his cameras, he had gotten some fantastic shots. But he'd also gotten dirt absolutely everywhere. He was going to have to do a thorough cleaning of his camera equipment as soon as he'd scrubbed himself well enough that he wouldn't just be adding more mess to the mix. He would have done it at the site, but the race had been delayed due to the weather and he hadn't had time to do more than wash his face and hands and throw a clean shirt on before having to race to the airport to catch his flight. He was pretty sure he had mud in his hair, but the woman who was checking him in was polite enough not to remark on it.

He set his luggage down on the bed and pulled out his phone, shooting off a quick text to Gaara that he had checked into the hotel and was going to go wash the mud out of his hair. He was surprised when his phone buzzed, a call from Gaara lighting up the screen.

"Hey," Naruto said as he answered the phone. He could hear the sound of the music from the club pulsing in the background.

"So… mud?" Gaara asked, his voice lower than usual, carrying both a trace of amusement and arousal.

Naruto laughed. "Seriously? On top of all your other kinks, you're into dirt, too?"

The sound of Gaara's low laugh was enough to make Naruto sweat just a little bit. "How did you get so dirty?" Gaara asked. The sound of the music suddenly dropped away, and Naruto assumed Gaara had stepped into his office to hear better.

Naruto pinned his phone between his shoulder and his ear, unzipping his camera bag to unpack his equipment for cleaning. "Dirt bike race. Plus rain. Equals very muddy photographer and riders."

"Nice. Don't shower."

Naruto blinked at the lens he was examining. "What?"

"Don't shower. I'll be there in twenty."

"Seriously? Dude, I'm sweaty and I have mud down my back and…"

"I'll be there in fifteen."

Gaara cut out. Naruto looked at the phone for a minute, then started to laugh, shaking his head slightly. He had long ago given up trying to guess what different things his friend found sexy. He supposed that one of the advantages of owning his own business was that Gaara could cut out when he wanted to.

Naruto looked longingly toward the shower, but settled for cleaning his lenses, carefully washing all the dirt out from under his fingernails before starting his work. He then packed them back in their bag along with his phone and his laptop. He was fairly sure he wouldn't have time to do any work once Gaara arrived.

* * *

Naruto rolled out of large, hotel bed, his muscles aching from the vigorous activities of the night before. Naruto felt his lips curve into a slight smile as he looked down at the pale shoulders of the man still sleeping in the bed. Gaara was dead to the world most mornings, and would likely remain so for several more hours. He supposed it was a good thing that the man owned a nightclub. Gaara's sleep patterns were definitely not aligned with a typical nine to five kind of job.

Naruto walked quietly to the bathroom, pulling the door closed more to avoid waking his sleeping friend than any felt need for privacy or modesty. It was strange how comfortable he felt with Gaara. It was so different from how it was with Sasuke. Not that he had been uncomfortable with Sasuke. But with Sasuke, there was always this… razor's edge of insanity that Naruto felt like he was going to fall over. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that things with Sasuke had probably been too intense to really last. It wasn't healthy to be _that_ into someone. When he had been with Sasuke, it was like nothing else in the world existed.

With Gaara, Naruto felt… calm. A small voice inside him told him that it was because he didn't _love_ Gaara in the same way he had loved Sasuke, but that was ok. Maybe those all-consuming sort of relationships weren't all they was cracked up to be. Gaara was someone that he felt a strong bond of friendship, almost a brotherhood with. And the sex was amazing, but that wasn't the main part of their relationship. It was more of a 'sometimes' thing. Like when Gaara decided that Naruto covered in dirt was the hottest thing ever. The redhead hadn't let Naruto shower until almost four in the morning. The hotel's cleaning lady was probably _not_ going to be impressed by the state of the bedding. Naruto chuckled softly to himself. He didn't know how long they'd be lovers, but he knew Gaara was someone he wanted to be friends with for a long time.

Careful not to make too much noise, Naruto sat down at the desk that was in the corner of the hotel room and pulled out his laptop. Gaara's earlier-than-expected appearance had prevented him from going through the last set of photos like he'd planned to do the night before. Jiraiya would be expecting them this morning at the latest. Naruto took the SD card out of his camera and inserted it into his laptop and quickly transferred over the last batch of files. He sorted through them, selecting the ones he thought were the best then began transferring them over to the drop box Jiraiya had set up for him.

The hotel wifi was slow, so they took a while to upload. Naruto pulled out his phone to text Jiraiya to let him know the final batch was on its way. He froze as he saw the text that was waiting on his screen. It was from... Sasuke.

 _I think we should talk. Want to meet up for coffee?_

The message sent a twisting spike of adrenaline through Naruto's system, disorienting him and sending his brain scattering in a million different directions. His first reaction was a flood of excitement that Sasuke had actually reached out. This was followed hard and fast by a rush of anger, mostly directed at himself. Why should getting a text _six fucking months_ after the break-up make him feel anything but confused and angry? Was he so conditioned to seeking Sasuke's attention that even an eleven word text that probably took they guy less than twenty seconds to type would make him feel special?

No wonder Sasuke had gotten tired of him.

"God, you're so fucking pathetic," Naruto sighed to himself, raking a hand angrily through his hair. He shot his phone a hostile glare. Why did Sasuke want to talk to him now? It had been six months and Sasuke hadn't felt the need to say a single word. Naruto had tried reaching out on Sasuke's birthday, but had heard nothing back. Sasuke had made it more than clear that he was done with Naruto. What could possibly have changed?

Sure, they had run into each other once and Naruto might have said something sort of shitty, but Sasuke had never been one to give two fucks what anyone thought of him, outside of his family. A queasy thought that maybe Sasuke was going to ask to meet up with him and Neji to rub it in his face and show Naruto how happy he was without him, but Naruto rapidly discarded the idea as his own special brand of insecure paranoia. Sasuke was a lot of things, but petty wasn't one of them. He wouldn't do something like that, no matter how pissed off he was at Naruto.

But then Naruto was back to square one on trying to figure out why Sasuke was asking to meet with him, for coffee of all things. There was no way Sasuke would have simply decided that he missed Naruto after so much time had passed. Clearly, Sasuke had fully moved on. Naruto even had the magazine article proving it, even if Kiba hadn't found out earlier. Sasuke's career was rocketing upwards, likely keeping him even busier than it had been before. Not to mention he was now dating someone perfectly matched with him. He had everything he'd been aiming for. So why look back on past mistakes? Meeting for coffee had always been their secret signal that they were going to try to work it out in the past. But surely Sasuke didn't mean it that way, not now. Not after so long. Probably he was just used to going out for coffee with people from work and forgot that - for the two of them - it used to mean something different.

Had Sasuke forgotten all of it?

Naruto fiddled with his phone, staring at the message as though the subtext of it would magically appear on the screen if he just looked hard and long enough. The text had come through shortly after Naruto had gotten to the hotel, sometime after midnight. Probably after he'd packed his bag, otherwise he would have heard it chime. Then Gaara had arrived and… well, Naruto definitely wouldn't have noticed his phone going off after that.

Naruto briefly considered the idea that Sasuke had drunk texted him, or maybe even _mistakenly_ texted him, meaning to have sent the message to Neji. But that didn't seem likely, either. Sasuke just didn't… make those kinds of mistakes.

Naruto let his head fall back, resting it on the back of the chair as he looked at the ceiling. He was over-reacting. He _knew_ he was fucking over-reacting but he just…

"You're thinking quite loudly this early in the morning," a low, gravelly voice came from the bed.

Naruto chuckled, swiveling the chair to face the bed as he forced his usual light-hearted grin on his face. The grin that said 'nothing to see here, folks'. Gaara was laying on his back, propped up by his forearms as he watched Naruto. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up with the sound of my rusty gears."

Gaara's glass-green eyes narrowed. "Don't."

Naruto looked off to the side of the room, letting his grin fade.

"Naruto, if you don't want to talk about something, it's fine. But don't put on an act with me. I don't need you to entertain me."

Naruto flicked a slightly apologetic glance at him, grimacing slightly. The only other person who had called him out on this had been Sasuke. It was Naruto's ingrained self-protection mechanism to put the happy-go-lucky mask on when he was upset or uncertain, and he had done it here without thought. "Sorry. Habit."

Gaara nodded slightly in acknowledgement of the apology. He glanced at the phone in Naruto's hand, but didn't ask.

Naruto sighed, deciding he had nothing to hide and could honestly do with some advice. "I got a weird text from Sasuke. He… wants to meet. To talk."

Gaara arched a brow. "Is this the first time he's contacted you since the split?"

Naruto nodded, chewing on his lip slightly. "Yeah, it's… I mean, he's seeing someone else, so I don't even know why he wants to talk to me. I e-mailed him on his birthday and he blew me off, so I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to be friends, either. At least, he didn't then. I just… I don't know what he wants."

Gaara looked at Naruto for a moment. "Well, I suppose the easiest way to find out would be to meet with him."

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, no _shit_ , but I just…," Naruto bit his lip again, and Gaara's eyes flashed with concern.

"You're afraid of him?"

Naruto gave a small laugh. "No. Not really. I just… It's just that I finally was sort of getting my head clear from him, you know? And I don't want to go and fuck it all up again. It's over and he's moved on and I am, too. Seeing him will just mess me up. He has this… this pull over me. I never really understood it, but… anyway. What's the point of meeting to talk anymore?"

Gaara paused, and Naruto had the feeling that Gaara was able to read much more into his words than Naruto was comfortable with.

"Closure?" Gaara asked him finally. "You told me yourself that you felt like there were things you didn't understand about him and what happened until after you'd left. Maybe he's feeling the same way."

Naruto looked bleakly at his phone. "Sasuke doesn't really hold on to stuff that way. Other than his family, which totally fucked him up. He tends to just brush other stuff off and move on. I always sort of envied that about him."

Gaara arched an eyebrow. "So then he must have contacted you for a reason. Did he say anything when you ran into him the other day?"

Naruto thought back to the awkward exchange. "No, not much. Though… I guess I did tell him that I knew about him and Neji, and maybe implied that I thought he might have lied to me about it all before I left."

"So maybe he wants to clear the air about that."

Naruto thought about it for a bit. Sasuke was up-front about things almost to a fault. If Sasuke really hadn't been cheating, would it bug him that Naruto thought he had? His experience with Sasuke would have said 'no'. Sasuke in general didn't give a fuck about what other people thought of him. It was something Naruto had always admired about him, even if it also sometimes stressed him out worrying that Sasuke would one day piss off one of their professors too far and get kicked out of class for not backing down from an opinion about something. Thank god Sasuke had majored in the sciences where it was clear what the 'right answer' was most of the time. But that line of thinking still shed no light on what Sasuke was thinking.

"I don't know why he'd really care at this point what I think of him. I mean, it's been six months since we've seen each other."

Gaara shrugged. "So ask him, unless you really just don't care about the answer. You've been talking about how Sasuke doesn't usually give a fuck about what other people think. But I know _you_ do. If you feel like you can get closure by talking to Sasuke and telling your side of things now that you're both calm enough to listen to each other, then you should meet him. It's pretty clear you're not over him."

"What if Neji's there? What if he wants to like… have them both tell me that nothing was going on?"

"Call him and ask him. And if you want me to go with you, I will."

Naruto shot him a somewhat incredulous look at the offer, and for a split second he fantasized about it, about showing Sasuke that he's _also_ moved on. And unlike almost everyone else on the planet, Gaara wouldn't even bat an eye at Sasuke if he tried to glare him down.

"We're friends, right? If you want my support, you have it," Gaara said simply.

Naruto smiled at Gaara, soft and full of gratitude. "Thanks, man." Naruto wouldn't take him up on the offer. Even with Gaara there, he had absolutely no desire to see Sasuke and Neji together. Naruto would make it clear he was willing to meet with Sasuke one-on-one, but not some fucked up double-date. It made him feel better, though, knowing that Gaara would do it if Naruto wanted him to. Sasuke might have finally found the relationship he'd always wanted, but Naruto wasn't alone. He had friends that cared about him and a sex life that blew the doors off his prior ideas about what 'friends with benefits' could be. "I think it's better I meet him on his own. I'll call him later. Maybe this afternoon."

Naruto could handle this. Gaara was right. Whatever Sasuke's reasons were for reaching out, Naruto needed closure. Maybe he'd finally be able to cut whatever emotional cord it was that somehow still kept him bound to Sasuke.

Naruto's eyes drifted over the hard, flat planes of Gaara's chest and stomach, exposed from where the sheet had slipped down.

"So, you, um… need to be anywhere this morning?" Naruto decided he'd spent enough time talking about his ex with his current lover. Sasuke had waited six months to contact him. He was pretty sure he could wait another couple of hours to hear back, especially if it was just to put the last shards of their relationship to rest. Gaara had to go back to the club after lunch to go through some accounts. Any further thinking on this topic could wait until then.

Gaara slowly smiled, the concerned look in his eyes being replaced by something darker and much hotter. "Come back to bed, Naruto."

The command in the low voice was unmistakable. This time, Naruto's grin wasn't fake as he made his way back to the bed.

* * *

Sasuke woke up with the terrible aftertaste in his mouth that always happened when he'd had too much wine the night before. He wasn't hung over, thankfully, but he almost wished he was. He reached over to his nightstand and picked up his phone, feeling a mixture of relief and disappointment when there were no missed calls and no texts that weren't work related.

In the clarity brought by a good night's sleep, he realized that sending the text to Naruto had been a mistake. He wasn't ready. If Naruto called him and agreed to meet up, what exactly was Sasuke supposed to say? The basic rule of any negotiation was that you had to have a very clear notion of what you wanted the end game to be, and exactly what you were willing to trade to get it. Sasuke wasn't sure of either of those things.

Not to mention that he had been running scenarios through his head of things to say to Naruto after his conversations with Kiba and Konan, and all of his imaginary conversations had ended with Naruto pretty much pissed off. The things they needed to talk about were exactly the kinds of topics that they both avoided like the plague. Even when their relationship had been good, they hadn't gone there. Now…

Sasuke made a low, frustrated sound in his throat. He shouldn't have sent the fucking text. What had he been thinking?

He went over the events of the night before, thinking through his conversation with Itachi (and his brother's repeated re-filling of Sasuke's glass, not enough to get him drunk but just enough to get him relaxed into foolish optimism).

 _'_ _Uncomplicate it'_ , Itachi had said. Sasuke rolled his eyes at the words now. Itachi was the most complicated fucking person on the _planet_ , and that was his advice? Sasuke had been feeling frustrated at his own inability to figure out what to do, so he had foolishly latched onto his brother's words.

Hook, line, and sinker.

Sasuke scrubbed his hands over his face, annoyance at his brother's manipulation of him warring with annoyance at himself for allowing himself to be manipulated. Again.

Sasuke threw off his blankets and stalked out into the living room in just his boxers, casting a baleful eye where Itachi sat shirtless, cross-legged on the couch reading one of Sasuke's advanced differential equations text books from college.

"Fuck you, nii-san," Sasuke bit out.

Itachi arched a brow but didn't look up from his book. "At least you are faster at figuring it out than you were in high school."

Sasuke felt a muscle in his jaw clench. "Why?"

Itachi finally looked up from the book. "Because you're approaching the situation with Naruto the same way you approach an engineering problem. You want to sit down and diagram it all out, come up with the answer, then go present it to him. Relationships don't work that way, Sasuke."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, annoyed despite possibly agreeing with some elements of what Itachi was saying. "Like I'd want advice on relationships from a man who's never fucking _had_ one."

Itachi shrugged a shoulder in casual concession of the point. "That doesn't make me unable to observe."

"Yeah, relationships aren't like a medical diagnosis, either, Itachi. You can't sit back with your clip board and just tell everyone else what's wrong with them. Or manipulate them with your fucking head games."

Itachi's lips twitched. "I make it a rule never to play head games with my patients, Otuoto. I save them all for you. You are always so serious and focused, planning out every detail of your career, yet you make rash decisions the few times you allow yourself to emotionally engage with something."

Sasuke glanced at the desk in the corner of the living room, trying to estimate how long it would take him to grab the letter opener, which was unfortunately the nearest weapon. Itachi sighed, all traces of brotherly teasing fading into seriousness.

"You're hurting, Sasuke. You're hurting and you won't even acknowledge that you are. Even if your conversation with Naruto goes badly, it's better than having you sit and try to come up with a perfect plan that doesn't exist while Naruto goes off and rebuilds his life with someone else. It's been six months. You need to get closure, one way or another. And you can't do that without talking to Naruto and at least hearing each other out. Relationships are messy, Sasuke. You need to let them be that way."

Sasuke's body was rigid. He was furious, but at the same time… he couldn't really find fault in Itachi's logic. When he'd been dating Naruto, he'd decided without talking to Naruto that being successful in his career would bring them the stability that they'd both craved as children. Instead, it had led to their breaking up.

Maybe he'd been on track to just repeat the same mistake. He'd been spinning his wheels and had gotten nowhere. The fact of the matter was, Sasuke was terrible with relationships, and he knew it. It didn't help that Naruto wasn't much better. He wasn't going to be able to come up with anything on his own, and - even if he did - it might not be what Naruto wanted.

"You're still an asshole." Sasuke turned and walked to the kitchen to make omelets for their breakfast, feeling only marginally better that Itachi hadn't denied the accusation.

He looked once more at his phone, but it remained silent.

* * *

Sasuke was not nervous.

His mind might be spinning through different ways that he could try to open any sort of conversation with Naruto and coming up with _nothing_ (at least, nothing that didn't make him sound defensive or like a stalker) but he was definitely not panicking about it. He flipped the omelet, determined that he would not check his phone again until after breakfast. Itachi poured himself another cup of coffee, leaning back against the counter as he watched Sasuke cook.

"You don't have to have it all figured out before you even talk to him, Sasuke," Itachi said unhelpfully. "This isn't the kind of thing that gets solved by one conversation. You just need to open the door."

Sasuke huffed out a soft snort. Itachi knew damn fucking well that Sasuke _always_ had his shit figured out - all the scenarios defined and fully modeled. He never went in half-cocked and - for all his 'advice' - neither did Itachi. The whole situation was just pissing him off. Sasuke just sent Itachi a glare, but his brother merely took another sip of his coffee looking utterly serene.

"I hate you."

"He might be out of town. Naruto travels a lot for work these days," Itachi remarked as though Sasuke hadn't spoken.

Sasuke simply glared at the cooking eggs. He hadn't seen Naruto go home to his apartment building all week, though that didn't mean he hadn't come home after Sasuke had left. Sasuke looked up to see Itachi studying him closely, and he quickly cleared his mind of all thoughts of his… slight... stalking of Naruto's place. If Itachi somehow found out, he would never let him hear the end of it.

"Hn," was all Sasuke said, keeping his face carefully neutral. Even if Naruto were out of town, he would still have access to his texts. He'd sent Sasuke an email from a jungle halfway around the fucking world on his birthday. If Naruto wanted to get in touch with him, he would. It had been over ten hours since Sasuke sent the text, so Naruto had likely either seen it before he went to bed or when he woke up in the morning.

Either way, he hadn't replied.

Sasuke honestly wasn't sure which he dreaded more at that precise moment: that Naruto would agree to meet and Sasuke would have to figure out something to say, or that he wouldn't even bother replying. Both scenarios seemed equally shitty.

* * *

Naruto knew he was stalling, trying to avoid the weird, panicky excitement-filled-dread that happened when he thought of Sasuke's note and what might be behind it. It had been hours since Gaara had left for work. Naruto had checked out of the hotel, ignoring the receptionist's sly glances at Naruto's collarbone. Luckily, his jacket covered the fingerprint bruises on his forearms. Of course, Gaara had matching marks on his own skin. They never went easy on each other when they were together. It surprised him somewhat the Gaara seemed to like when Naruto marked him. Usually, Naruto associated marks with possessiveness, which he couldn't see Gaara tolerating, much less being into. Certainly, Naruto had never seen any residual marks from any of Gaara's other lovers. But Naruto was more than happy to leave the sign on his lover's skin of his presence there, as long as Gaara wanted it.

One of the many small mysteries about his friend that Naruto hadn't puzzled out.

On the train ride back home, Naruto kept himself busy by looking through the proofs Jiraiya had sent over for the final mock-up of the book featuring Gaara's club, but his mind was only half on it. He still hadn't decided what to do about Sasuke's text. He considered calling Kiba to find out what exactly had happened between him and Sasuke when they'd run into each other. At the time it had happened, Naruto definitely hadn't wanted to hear much about the details once Shikamaru had made it clear there was no mistaking the nature of Sasuke's relationship with Neji. In retrospect, it was a little weird that Kiba hadn't forced the conversation - not usually one to miss a chance to run Sasuke down after their break-up. Instead, Kiba had avoided the topic almost as much as Naruto had. Had there been a reason for that, other than the obvious one of Naruto not wanting to have salt rubbed in the wound?

Naruto idly clicked through the pages of the proof, not registering anything. If he called Kiba and brought it up _now_ , his friend would immediately know something was up. If Kiba found out about Sasuke's text, he would just tell Naruto to ignore it since Sasuke had blown him off earlier. But Naruto just wasn't wired that way. He needed to know what Sasuke wanted.

He needed closure.

He briefly considered putting it off until the following weekend, but he was so distracted thinking and wondering what Sasuke could possibly want that he knew he'd probably be torturing himself more than he was torturing Sasuke by delaying the inevitable. And in the end, no matter how much he postponed, he knew the outcome was going to be the same. He needed to just put on his big boy panties and get it over with.

He would meet with Sasuke and hear him out. He'd just have to be prepared for it. The last time he'd seen Sasuke it had been like a punch to the gut, but that had to just be because he wasn't expecting to see him. No matter how angry or betrayed he felt about Neji, Sasuke could still twist him all up inside without even trying if Naruto wasn't careful. Naruto brought up the text, staring at it for a moment. It was impossible to tell tone over a goddam text. He sighed, letting his head fall back against the train seat and looked at the ceiling.

Texts and emails sucked.

Sasuke wasn't exactly chatty under the best of circumstances, and over text he was even worse. If Naruto wanted to know if Sasuke was pissed at him, then he needed to hear his voice. Naruto's lips curved up humorlessly. He had spent years learning every nuance of Sasuke's face and voice, learning how to read between the lines of his non-emotive boyfriend. If Sasuke wanted to finally have it out and tell him what a shit he'd been for walking out, or tell him that Neji was so much better, then would be able to read it in his voice before Sasuke finished saying 'hello'.

The thought made him feel slightly queasy, but he pushed it down. Whatever it was, Naruto had things he wanted to say to Sasuke, too. Maybe they both needed closure. He'd never run from a fight before, he wasn't going to start now. He had decided earlier that he owed Sasuke an explanation of why he'd left. The fact that Sasuke was dating Neji had made Naruto assume Sasuke wouldn't want to hear it, but if he did, then Naruto would be man enough to at least have the conversation so they could both put it all behind them and move on with their lives. He supposed they owed each other at least that much.

Naruto forced his attention back on the proof he was supposed to be going over, deciding he would call Sasuke later, after he was back home and his work was finished. If the call with Sasuke went badly, Naruto would be too frazzled to concentrate. Plus, he didn't want to take a personal call on a public train.

He'd call Sasuke later. When he was ready.

* * *

Sasuke was laying on his bed despite it only being about ten o'clock, feeling slightly numb. Itachi had had left around lunch time to get back for his shift at the hospital. Sasuke was relieved. He didn't need to feel Itachi's concern or possible pity as they day had stretched and Naruto still hadn't called or contacted him.

Sasuke looked at his phone, seeing several texts and missed calls from work, but nothing from Naruto. There was a time when Naruto would have responded within seconds, even if he was at work. But clearly, those days were gone. _Obviously_ , Sasuke reminded himself viciously, wondering why he'd expected anything different. It had already been a full day since he'd sent the text and it was looking more and more likely that Naruto wasn't going to reply. Given everything that had happened, Sasuke couldn't really say he was surprised but somehow it still left him feeling hollow.

Calling Naruto would be pointless. It was just as easy to ignore a call as it was to ignore a text. Sasuke knew where Naruto lived. He supposed could confront him in person, but if Naruto was making it clear that he didn't want to talk, then that was a pretty shitty (and stalkerish) thing to do.

Sasuke briefly considered sacrificing his pride and calling Shikamaru and telling him what Kiba and Konan had said. Of all Naruto's friends, Shika was the one Sasuke had connected the most with. But if Naruto hadn't chosen to disclose any of this to Shikamaru, then Sasuke didn't really have the right to tell him.

Sasuke's phone began to ring, moving slightly as it vibrated on his night stand. Sasuke picked it up, expecting it to be Itachi calling to check up on him (and possibly fuck with him some more).

Instead, it was Naruto's name that he saw up on the screen. Sasuke blinked at it for a moment, then quickly pushed the button to accept the call with possibly more force than necessary.

"Hey," Sasuke said, his voice sounding somewhat rough and rushed. He winced, forcing himself to get control.

 _"_ _Um... hey, Sasuke. I got your message."_

Naruto's voice was cautious rather than angry as it had been the last time they spoke. The tone and timbre of it was so familiar, it was messing with Sasuke's head and all the words he'd thought of saying if Naruto ever called seemed to evaporate. In their place, a wave of loneliness flooded through him. He _missed_ Naruto… something he hadn't fully admitted to himself. But it hit him hard in that moment. He must have taken longer than he realized to respond, because Naruto was talking again.

 _"_ _Sasuke? Did I catch you at a bad time? I could call back or -"_

"No," Sasuke said, sharper than he'd intended. He cleared his throat. "No, it's fine."

There was a slight pause, and Sasuke realized that Naruto was obviously waiting for him to say something. Probably to fucking _explain_ why he'd texted him in the first place. Unfortunately, Sasuke still hadn't figured out how to even start that.

" _So… you said you wanted to, uh, meet for coffee?"_

The slight emphasis that Naruto put on the word showed he hadn't forgotten what that meant. With the phone pressed close against his ear as he lay in his bed, the conversation seemed almost intimate. Not a conversation between to people who had ripped each other to shreds not long ago. But of course, that was just an illusion. The past was what it was. And they needed to deal with it.

"Yeah. I just. I've been thinking a lot, about what Kiba said, and -"

 _"_ _About what Kiba said?"_

Sasuke could hear Naruto's confused frown through the phone. Surely Kiba had told Naruto about their exchange. Kiba never held _anything_ back from Naruto, and it had been crystal clear when Sasuke had run into Naruto the other day that he knew about Neji. Maybe Naruto was surprised that Sasuke had bothered to listen to Kiba. It was probably the first time he had, so Sasuke couldn't really fault him for it.

"It just made me think," Sasuke paused, deciding that bringing in Konan was better left face-to-face. Naruto was not going to like it. "And I thought it would be good to actually... talk."

Sasuke wondered why people insisted that he was smart, because clearly, he was proving them all wrong. Could he _be_ any worse at this? Naruto must be wondering 'what the actual fuck'.

" _What did Kiba say?"_

Sasuke hesitated, non-plussed. "He didn't tell you?"

" _He told me he saw you and Neji, but he didn't, uh, go into details about it."_

Sasuke could hear the edge of anger and hurt that laced Naruto's voice when he'd said Neji's name. This was going to go downhill fast if they tried to have this conversation on the phone.

"Yeah, he had some things to say. Look," Sasuke looked over at the clock. It was already getting late, but there were always coffee shops open in the city. "You want to meet up somewhere and talk?"

There was silence on the other end of the line for a moment, then he heard Naruto draw in a breath, like he was steeling himself for something. " _Just you and me_?"

Sasuke frowned slightly. "Yes. Itachi's gone back to his place, if that's what you're worried about."

Naruto let out a dry half-laugh. _"No, I was just wondering if… never mind. You mean now?"_

"Unless you have a shoot tomorrow morning?"

 _"_ _Nah, I just got back, actually. I was, um, just gonna relax tomorrow."_

"I think Suzu Cafe is still open," Sasuke rolled out of bed, pinning the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he pulled out a pair of jeans, tugging them on over his boxers.

" _Ok, sure. Should I head out now, then?"_

"Yeah, I'm just pulling some jeans on. I'll be there in ten."

There was a slight pause, and Sasuke realized he basically had just told Naruto he'd been talking to him without his pants on. But in the scheme of 'uncomfortable' that was likely going to happen that night, this was probably going to end up pretty low on the scale.

Naruto's voice sounded slightly constricted. " _Ok, then. I'll just… see you in a bit."_ Sasuke heard a soft laugh, then Naruto added, _"And for the record, I had my pants ON when we were talking."_

Sasuke shot the phone a glare as Naruto hung up, but there was a slight curve to his lips as he grabbed a sweater, pulling it over his head before finding his keys and wallet and heading for the door.

* * *

 _To be continued…_

 **A/N:** So there it is! Obviously, the next chapter will be their chat in the coffee shot. Full of land mines. How do you think it will go?


	21. Coffee

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **A/N** : Un-beta'd due to me not having access to g-docs while I'm in Asia. And, yay! Despite all the hysteria, I am not actually late and managed to get this posted within my self-imposed two-week deadline.

 **Chapter 21 - Coffee  
**

* * *

Naruto pulled on his jacket over the grey sweatshirt and jeans he was wearing, shoving his keys, wallet and phone into his pocket as he headed out. A jittery energy was careening through his system. He wondered if he was having a weird, caffeine induced dream because Sasuke had actually sounded _nervous_ on the phone, something Naruto could never recall the man being. It just wasn't in his nature. Even when Sasuke had presented his honors project to the entire engineering department, Sasuke had been calm and steady. Of the two of them that day, Naruto had been the one trying not to freak out even though Sasuke was the one who had to do the actual presentation.

Naruto sucked in a breath of the chilly night air through his teeth, trying to get his own nerves under control. The last time he and Sasuke had run into each other, it definitely hadn't gone well. Neither of them was the type to really let things slide, and given how things had ended there was little hope that this meeting would go any better than the last one. Of course, there was still no question that Naruto was going to go. As much as there had been a lot of shit between them at the end, Naruto knew that Sasuke was someone he would probably never really be 'over'. As self-destructive as it was, if Sasuke needed something, Naruto would probably always at least take his call.

Which brought him back to the question of what Kiba could possibly have said that made Sasuke think they needed to talk after all this time. Sasuke had never really taken Kiba seriously in the past, so whatever it was, it must have shaken Sasuke quite a bit if he had decided to reach out. Naruto doubted it had anything to do with Gaara, if for no other reason than Naruto hadn't even been sleeping with the man yet. Plus, Sasuke wasn't likely to give a shit about who Naruto was dating now, given that he was finally with someone actually suited to him.

Naruto tried to think of _anything_ that would have made Sasuke reconsider the cutting of all ties with him, and came up empty. If Kiba had gone on about how broken up Naruto had been after the split, Naruto was going to have to hurt him. He didn't need Sasuke thinking Naruto couldn't own his own decisions and was somehow regretting it all now. Sasuke was happy now, and he obviously hadn't been with Naruto. Naruto sure as fuck didn't want to talk about that. But that whole scenario was pretty unlikely, anyway. Sasuke wouldn't feel bad about Naruto being upset given that Naruto had been the one to walk out. Sasuke was definitely a 'you make your bed, then you fucking lie in it' kind of guy. There would be no sympathy there. Which was fine. It was fair. Naruto _had_ been the one to walk.

Not to mention that Kiba would be the first one to say that Sasuke and Naruto should never even be in the same room as each other again, so it would be weird if he had said anything like that. Frowning, Naruto pulled out his phone and brought up Kiba's number while he walked, listening to the phone ring four times before going to voice mail. Naruto cursed under his breath, remembering that Kiba was working and would only be able to check messages when he had a break in his schedule, which might be hours later.

"Hey, Kibs. I just had a weird call with Sasuke. What the fuck did you say to him when you ran into him the other day?" Naruto sighed, knowing that he was likely going to reach the coffee shop before Kiba called him back. "Call me when you get off work."

Naruto was only two blocks from the coffee house now, and his mind was racing, playing over every part of his brief conversation with Sasuke. Why had Sasuke thought Naruto was worried about him bringing Itachi? Why didn't he say anything about Neji? Maybe he had just realized what a colossal mistake that would be and didn't want to make Neji uncomfortable, given what Naruto had said last time. Sasuke had always been smart. Though… not always about relationship stuff.

He could see the sign for the café that Sasuke had mentioned on the next block, but he was no closer to being able to calm himself down then he was when he'd first heard Sasuke's voice earlier that evening. He forced himself not to think about the _joke_ he'd made at the end of the call. Seriously, who does that when talking to an ex for the first time? Naruto groaned slightly. He always said stupid shit when he was nervous. Evidently he hadn't outgrown that yet.

He reached the entrance to the café, drew a steadying breath, then opened the door and walked inside. The tables were all taken, but there was no sign of a familiar head of dark hair as he made his way to the counter to order his coffee. He kept an eye out in case a table freed up. He reached the front of the line with none of the other patrons showing any signs of leaving. Luckily most of the people in front of him had given up and were taking their coffees to go. Sasuke still hadn't arrived, so Naruto ordered for him as well out of habit before he even realized he'd done it.

"I'll have a cup of espresso, black, and a hot chocolate, extra milk."

It wasn't until after Naruto had paid the barista that he realized it was a bit presumptuous of him to order anything for Sasuke. This wasn't a date. He and Sasuke weren't even friends anymore. He bit his lip nervously, tempted to cancel the espresso when he saw a couple who had been sitting in a corner booth start to slip on their coats. Naruto quickly walked over and asked if they were leaving, and if he could have their table. He took his jacket off and laid it on the seat to hold the table, then went back to pick up the drinks. He'd just sat down again at the when the door to the café opened and Sasuke walked in.

Naruto felt his stomach twist the way it always did when he saw Sasuke. He looked slightly disheveled, like he'd been rushing, his black hair falling into his eyes more than usual. Naruto's fingers itched at the remembered feel of brushing those strands away from Sasuke's face. No matter how long he knew him, Sasuke was still the most beautiful man Naruto had ever known. But it was the complicated, damaged man beneath the looks that Naruto had fallen in love with. Naruto looked at the closed-off expression on Sasuke's face, the one that always kept everyone out and at a safe distance. Naruto steeled himself against the residual emotion that still swirled inside him. That was over, and Naruto was now firmly outside Sasuke's walls, no longer welcome within. He needed to let it go. If there was any chance of salvaging even a tentative friendship from the ashes of their relationship, he would have to get past it.

Sasuke quickly scanned the room, his dark eyes latching onto Naruto almost immediately. Naruto knew it was probably wishful thinking, but for a moment he thought he saw a flash of relief in those black depths.

* * *

Sasuke pulled the soft, dark blue sweater over his head, ignoring the memory of Naruto's reaction the last time he had worn the sweater. Naruto had always liked this color on him. Of course, Sasuke was wearing it because it was clean and warm, and the evening was chilly. That was all.

He jogged across the street before the light changed, feeling somehow that – if he took too long – Naruto wouldn't bother waiting for him. Naruto's voice had been neutral at best on the phone, but at least he had agreed to meet. Sasuke was no closer to having figured out how to start the conversation, but at least it was going to happen. He told himself that he just needed closure, one way or another. There had been too many loose ends, too many things that had never really been _discussed_ when their relationship had ended. Sasuke didn't like loose ends, which was why he needed to try to talk it out with Naruto. He told himself firmly that he wasn't looking for anything more than that.

He approached the door to the café, looking at the packed row of tables in front of the large, glass windows. His stomach churning slightly at the thought of trying to hash anything out with Naruto in such a public place, but asking him over to their old apartment had seemed… out-of-bounds.

Sasuke walked in, wondering if Naruto had arrived before him. Hoping he hadn't already changed his mind about talking to him and left. His eyes caught a flash of blond from the back of the room, and he saw Naruto sitting in a corner booth, blue eyes already having spotted him. Sasuke ignored the flash of relief that Naruto had actually come. He walked over to where Naruto was sitting, noticing the espresso sitting in the empty seat across from him. How many times had Naruto bought him coffee in the past while he waited for Sasuke to finish class? Only back then, the blue eyes waiting for him would be warm and full of humor. Not wary and uncertain. Naruto spoke as Sasuke approached the table.

"Hey, Sasuke. I… um… ordered you an espresso. I was just waiting for a table to open up and so I ordered something but… it's fine if you want something else. I can drink it if you don't want it," Naruto looked down at the small cup, his nose crinkling slightly in distaste in a way the made Sasuke's lips curve into a smile before he even realized he was doing it.

"You hate coffee, idiot." Sasuke pulled off his jacket and sat down in the booth across from Naruto, Naruto's eyes following the movement.

"Actually, I drink it sometimes, now," Naruto said, seeming slightly distracted as he gave a small shrug.

Sasuke's eyebrows shot up. "Really? Doesn't the caffeine make you jittery anymore?"

Naruto shrugged again with a trace of a smile, his eyes focusing on Sasuke's face. "I guess. I still like the smell."

Sasuke rolled his eyes out of habit of the comment, smiling in slight amusement as he remembered all the times Naruto would ask to smell his coffee in the mornings. His smile faded. That had been a long time ago, and a lot had changed between them since then.

Naruto seemed to be having the same awkward memories as well, his gaze drifting off to the side. "Anyway. You… uh… look good, Sasuke."

Naruto's eyes flickered over him, but settled back on the table as he reached for more sugar to add to his cocoa.

"You, too. Thanks for the coffee." Sasuke winced at the stilted conversation. His eyes followed Naruto's movements, catching slightly on a slight shadow at the base of Naruto's collar bone that the sweatshirt had mostly been covering until Naruto stretched for the sugar. As Naruto shifted back, Sasuke could still see the edge of it and realized with a twist in his stomach that it wasn't a shadow. Naruto had always been a fast healer, and Sasuke knew from his own personal experience that any marks he'd left on Naruto's body during sex usually faded within a day or two. The realization that Naruto had been in someone else's bed likely just the day before made Sasuke feel hollow. He didn't even know if Naruto was seeing a man or a woman, whether it was serious or casual. He wasn't sure if not knowing made it better or worse.

Naruto had noticed Sasuke's pause, and he shifted somewhat uncomfortably, clearly unaware that his earlier movement had revealed what it had. "I was… um… surprised to hear from you. It's been a while."

"Yeah. Work's been busy. For you, too, I hear."

"Hm," Naruto said, his expression closing off slightly at the mention of Sasuke's work. Sasuke wasn't sure if it was due to the fact that his work had been a major source of contention between them, or the fact that Naruto knew the Neji had worked with him. Either way, he wished he'd said something else.

"I suppose. But we both know that work wasn't the reason you didn't call me earlier. Why now?" Naruto asked, cutting to the chase. The tone wasn't exactly hostile, but it was clear that Naruto wasn't wanting to dance around things. "You mentioned that Kiba had said something to you. I tried calling him, but he's working tonight. What did he say?"

Sasuke sighed, raking his fingers through his hair and earning a surprised look from Naruto. He was usually better at concealing his emotions, but he knew there was no avoiding pissing Naruto off with this. He mentally cursed Kiba for not telling Naruto what had happened, leaving it all to Sasuke to deal with when his and Naruto's relationship was already broken.

"He was pretty wasted. I guess he was out with his sister and some of their co-workers," Sasuke began.

"Yeah, he told me that," Naruto said tersely.

Sasuke nodded slightly. "He saw me with Neji."

Naruto looked away towards the door, his jaw tightening. "Yep. Told me that, too."

There was no mistaking the anger and bitterness in Naruto's voice. Sasuke knew that convincing Naruto he hadn't been cheating on him was not likely to happen right away, but he couldn't just not address it.

"I'd only started dating Neji less than a month before we ran into Kiba. I wasn't lying when I said –"

"Who you're fucking isn't my business anymore, Sasuke," Naruto cut him off, his voice hard. "But I _know_ you, Sasuke. You don't sleep around and you don't do casual relationships, not even back in college when everyone else was playing the field. So if you're going to sit there and try to tell me that there was really nothing between you two all those late nights and weekends, even if you didn't act on it until later, I'm gonna have to call bullshit. You don't just randomly end up in bed together a few months after we split with a guy you've spent that much time with. Not you."

Naruto's gaze was full of so much anger and hurt that Sasuke momentarily didn't know what to say, didn't know how to even begin to counter something Naruto so clearly believed. "I didn't think of him as anything other than my co-worker when we were together, Naruto. At least, not on my side," Sasuke admitted. In retrospect, it was clear that Neji had been waiting until they were no longer working together before broaching the subject, but he'd been thinking about it for a while. "You might not believe me, but I have no reason to lie. And you know me well enough to know that I wouldn't bother lying about something like this, anyway."

Naruto's expression turned conflicted and anguished, but he just shook his head, dropping his gaze to his mug. "Yeah. Well, you're right that I don't have to believe you. Maybe you wouldn't lie about it, but I also know how you feel about casual sex. I just… I don't know. But somehow I doubt that anything Kiba had to say about your sex life would have made you decide to call me."

Sasuke's hand tightened around his cup, clearly not wanting to let Naruto change the subject when he still thought Sasuke had been at least emotionally cheating on him or even worse. He sighed, leaning back in his seat. Itachi was right… there was no way this was going to get resolved in one conversation. He might as well just throw as much out there and then they'd sort it out later, one way or another.

"It didn't start until months after you left. But you're right that it wasn't casual. Things between you and me had fallen apart, and when Neji asked me out, I decided I should try something else. With someone who looked at things the same way I did and had the same focus on work."

Naruto chuckled hollowly. "Yeah, well. Congrats on that." He drank the last bit of his cocoa, but the bitter note in his voice was clear. "Glad to see it's workin' out for you so well."

"It isn't."

Naruto's head snapped up, wary disbelief on his face. "What?"

"I said, it isn't. Neji and I aren't seeing each other anymore."

"But… they even wrote a magazine article with the two of you, calling you like… some sort of genius partners or something, launching both of your careers. Why would that not work out? It was everything you'd said you'd wanted."

"Well it wasn't," Sasuke's voice sharpened, his frustration at not still understanding why it had been so different with Naruto seeping through. "Neji is too much like me," was all Sasuke could think of to say to the look that Naruto threw his way. There was so much more, so many reasons, but the middle of a coffee shop wasn't the place, especially if Naruto was going to react the way Sasuke suspected he would when he found out about what Kiba had said to him. And what Sasuke had done after hearing it.

"Anyway, when Kiba saw us together, he went off about how shitty I was for driving you away. How you…," Sasuke paused, cursing Kiba's cowardice under his breath again for not having told Naruto at least _some_ of what he'd said so Naruto wouldn't be totally blindsided by someone he was no longer getting along with on the topic he tried to avoid at all possible costs. "… how you'd been through enough. As a kid."

Naruto's body tensed and his eyes narrowed. Sasuke could almost _see_ Naruto's hackles rise, and he didn't blame him one bit for it. He'd react the same, if not worse, if their roles were reversed. "He said _what_?"

"Look. He was really drunk," Sasuke said, not really knowing why he was coming to Kiba's defense, except that Kiba's unwelcome outburst had helped Sasuke make sense of what had happened to their relationship when he'd been unable to do so on his own.

"What else did he say?" Naruto said tightly. "You already knew I had a shitty childhood. Just like yours was. So what?"

Sasuke didn't even consider dodging the question. Naruto was a direct person, and he had a right to know exactly what had happened. "He said that you'd been through about a dozen foster homes," Sasuke began, keeping his voice carefully neutral, with no emotion that could possibly be construed as pity entering in. That would be the final straw for Naruto, and Sasuke knew it.

It didn't stop Naruto from beginning to curse softly under his breath.

"He said that you had told me about your past when you'd never opened up to anyone else and that I'd used it to make you leave. That I…," Sasuke paused, drawing a breath as he saw the anger building in Naruto's gaze. "… intentionally sent the same signals your foster families had used when they were going to send you back to make you feel shitty and end it with me."

"That fucking…," Naruto glared at Sasuke. "This is such bullshit. You didn't… goddam it, Kiba!" Naruto's voice had raised enough that several people looked over at them. Naruto flushed slightly and lowered his voice, but the scornful anger in it was unmistakable. "Kiba doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about." Naruto glared at Sasuke, but there was also a tension in his blue eyes, as though waiting to hear what Sasuke had thought about all of it. "Ok, so now, what? You feel _sorry_ for me? Is that what this is about? Fuck you, Sasuke. I don't need your pity. I never did. The shit I went through as a kid has _nothing_ to do with why I walked out. Kiba needs to learn to keep his fucking trap shut about shit he doesn't really know anything about. Both of you can just fuck off."

Naruto stood, and Sasuke grabbed his wrist. "This isn't about _pity_ , Naruto. You should know me well enough by now to know that I don't pity people for things they obviously were able to handle."

Sasuke met Naruto's gaze steadily, still gripping his wrist and ignoring the looks they were getting from the couple sitting in the booth next to theirs.

Naruto stood there, neither trying to pull away nor making a move to re-take his seat. His eyes were a swirl of hurt, anger, insecurity, and a desperate kind of plea that made Sasuke wish he were better at words or emotions or anything that would make this better, but he wasn't. All he could do was keep fumbling his way through.

"Just stay. Hear me out."

Naruto hesitated a moment, then pulled his arm from Sasuke's grasp. Sasuke made no move to push Naruto further, letting him make the choice of whether to stay or go on his own.

"Fine," Naruto gritted out after a tense moment, sitting back in his seat with slightly more force than necessary. "Fine. But Kiba's ass is grass the next time I see him."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow. "If you expect me to try to talk you out of _that_ , then you don't remember the relationship I had with Kiba very well."

Naruto chuckled, this time with a trace of real humor, his body losing some of the angry tension that had held it rigid moments before.

"Ok, so. Kiba told you that I got kicked around to a lot of homes. Some of them Children's Services pulled me from for my own safety, but some the families just didn't… we just didn't click. So what?"

Naruto leaned back in his seat, his arms crossed defensively over his chest, his expression slightly bored and impatient as thought the topic weren't worthy of discussion. It made Sasuke feel both angry and protective of Naruto at the same time, and he wished – not for the first time – that he could track down each of the families that had hurt Naruto and kick their ass.

But right then, his focus was on trying to talk to Naruto about what had happened between them. "Naruto. Don't blow this off."

"It's ancient _history_ , Sasuke. It happened a long time ago, and I got out just fine. I don't want to sit around and rehash it all in a nice little pity party for myself, alright? Lots of people have shitty childhoods. You did, too. We both moved past it. The end."

"Did we?" Sasuke asked. "Did you? Because actually, most people _don't_ just move past this kind of thing, Naruto."

Naruto picked up his phone, forcefully typing on the device before slamming it back down with a glare. Sasuke glanced down at the screen, where Naruto had left his messages open. He'd just sent a text to Kiba.

 _You really had to go there? What the fuck, man. You could have at least had the balls to WARN me._

Sasuke sighed. "Look, I spoke with someone from Children's Services about this, and –"

"You did _what,_ now?" Naruto's voice rose again as he clearly struggled to control his temper.

"Not about your case in particular. She isn't even working in this city."

Naruto looked like he was about to lose it, so Sasuke spoke quickly, keeping his voice low.

"You know I think Kiba is an idiot. He came up to me, drunk, spouting all this shit about you and your past and how everything I did totally fucked you over. I didn't know how much of it was real and how much of it was just Kiba and his usually bullshit. But I just… when you left, nothing made _sense._ "

"So you looked up my fucking _case history_?! You couldn't have just… _called_ me?" Naruto whispered angrily.

"First of all, no. I didn't look up your case history. I just _told_ you Konan doesn't even work in this district. I didn't even mention your name or how long ago this happened. Secondly, why do you think I sent you that text and asked to talk?"

"Are you seriously trying to say that I left you because of my childhood? That it had nothing to do with the way you –," Naruto cut himself off and drew a deep breath, closing his eyes as his hands clenched into fists on the table. "I am so fucking _pissed_ at you right now, Sasuke. Do you think that somehow I didn't know what I was doing, that I didn't know what I wanted? Like my leaving you was some sort of _mistake_ due to… childhood trauma bullshit? You arrogant _bastard_. Do you really think that the only way someone would decide to walk out on your ass was if they had psychological _issues_? God you just… you just take the fucking _cake_ with this, don't you?"

"Naruto, I didn't –"

"No, just fuck you, Sasuke. You think that our relationship falling apart was all because of my screwed up childhood? That's bullshit. Our relationship ended because you were focused too much on work, and I was focused too much on you. That's all. You put your career ahead of our relationship, and I put our relationship ahead of my career. I was pissed off at you, and you were pissed off at me. When we tried to talk it out, in the end, we just wanted different things. You knew from the beginning that I wanted a family and to put down roots, and I knew from the beginning that you needed to prove yourself with your career. We were both just young and stupid and never thought about how that was actually going to work in the real world. Don't drag in all my childhood baggage into this."

Sasuke blinked at Naruto's barrage of words. It was clear Sasuke wasn't the only one who had spent time thinking about what went wrong.

"You're right," Sasuke said after a moment.

Naruto blinked, clearly not having expected that response. "I am?"

"We didn't really talk about any of that. Or how to make it work. When we fought about it, it was always about the details, not what was behind it. So… you're right. I'm not saying that everything was all your fault."

"Really? Because it sort of sounded like that."

Sasuke gave a bitter half-smile. "Yeah, well. I think we've established just how good I am about talking about this stuff."

"So then… what's all this shit about my childhood."

"I just think it's all related. My issues with… my parents. Your family history."

Naruto shrugged uncomfortably, not disagreeing but not wanting to talk about it, either.

Naruto's phone buzzed, a frantic message from Kiba apologizing and asking Naruto to let him just explain when he got off work.

Naruto sighed, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the back of the booth.

"Where are we even going with all this?" Naruto asked, his voice sounding completely drained.

Yet another question Sasuke was no closer to answering.

"I don't know. I just want to at least understand what went wrong in the first place."

"What, so we can try to be… friends or something?" Naruto asked, opening his eyes and looking at Sasuke, clearly unsure how to read him.

Sasuke wasn't sure what to make of Naruto's expression other than wariness. "Maybe. I don't know."

Naruto nodded slowly. "Yeah. I… don't know, either."

They sat there, both waiting for the other to say something, but neither man knew what to say.

Finally, Naruto glanced at his phone, noting how much time had passed. "I should head out. Kiba will be getting off work soon, and I really need to go ream his ass for talking shit," he said, grabbing his jacket.

Sasuke nodded, grabbing his own jacket and trying not to think about the mark on Naruto's neck, whether he was going home to someone else or not. "So… what now?"

Naruto shook his head slightly. "I have no idea. Honestly, I don't know how to think about all this. But… I'm glad we talked."

Sasuke nodded slightly as they turned and walked towards the exit together. "Give me a call in a few days, when you've finished with Kiba," Sasuke said drily. "Since you live next to my favorite restaurant, maybe we can grab dinner."

The slight pinkening of Naruto's cheeks at Sasuke's words told him that Itachi had been right about Naruto's choice of address not being an accident. He decided this wasn't the time to call the man out on it, but he couldn't deny that it made him oddly happy. He watched as Naruto gave a slight wave in agreement before turning and walking in the direction of his apartment.

It was a better start than Sasuke had hoped for. But it didn't change the fact that Naruto was still likely going home to someone else.

* * *

Naruto turned and headed back towards his apartment, his mind a mess of contrasting emotions. He hadn't been lying when he'd said it had been good to see Sasuke. Naruto had missed him, even if it meant talking to him about things he didn't want to talk about. .

But he was still seriously angry with Kiba _._ His past was his own business. Kiba going and telling Sasuke (right in front of Mr. Perfect Neji) stuff about Naruto's past felt like a betrayal. He honestly didn't know what he was going to say to his friend when he saw him again, but it wasn't going to be pretty. Kiba knew that Naruto didn't like to talk about his past… didn't want people knowing what he'd been through because they _always_ looked at him differently after that. Whether with pity or discomfort, he didn't want any of it.

If Naruto had wanted Sasuke to know about all the little details of his messed up childhood, he would have told him himself. It wasn't Kiba's place, no matter what the reason was for him to do it.

And he was upset with Sasuke for going behind his back and talking to some stranger about his business. Why bother? In the past, Sasuke always wrote off Kiba's little rants and ignored him. Why would Sasuke go out of his way to talk to someone –?

Naruto's mind cut off as he processed some things he'd been too upset to realize at the time. Sasuke hated talking to people he didn't know. Hated it. For him to track down someone and meet with them to talk about Naruto's situation… ok, yeah, it still pissed Naruto off a bit and made him feel exposed, but Sasuke wouldn't have done it unless he really wanted to understand Naruto. Which would imply that Sasuke was serious about trying to be friends. There's no point in trying to understand someone you don't plan on seeing again. He looked back over his shoulder, but Sasuke had long since disappeared from sight.

Naruto turned, walking back to his apartment, a slight smile slowly forming on his lips. He honestly didn't know if being friends would work, but he was willing to try. It would be better than nothing.

* * *

 _To be continued…_

 **A/N -** So we have a rocky start, but definitely a start. Yes, the Neji thing still isn't resolved. That will take a bit more work. Several people have asked me how many more chapters there will be, and the honest answer is that I am not sure. They need to work through a bunch of stuff, and sometimes that can happen fast and sometimes it takes time. I am not going to throw in anything random like one of them getting moved over seas or some random other love interest or whatever, but I'm also not going to force it when it comes to the necessary dialogue for them to get their shit together. I think it will be a minimum of 3 chapters left, maximum of 6? But we all know I am a terrible judge of these things. I would love to know where you all are in terms of things you think they need to resolve and work through, since I want to be sure everyone feels good about the ending when we (finally) get there. I have a pretty long list myself, LOLOL.


	22. The blue sweater

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **Warning -** **Chapter edited to remove sex scene (per FF's Terms of Service and a complaint from a reader)  
**

 **A/N** : I AM HALF A WEEK EARLY WITH THIS! WOOT! But. It is un-beta'd. Just as a heads up. Also, thank you all for the support last chapter. The person who had left me the note I got so upset about sent me a very nice message saying she hadn't meant to be rude, but just was excited for the next chapter and a little hasty with her words. So... we're all good now LOL.

* * *

 **Chapter 22 - The blue sweater**

* * *

Naruto walked home, oblivious to his surroundings, his mind buzzing. He was still trying to process some of the things Sasuke had said, but was mostly just drowning in the effects of being face-to-face with him, having Sasuke focused on him again after so long. Seeing Sasuke in that fucking _sweater_ certainly hadn't helped, though he was sure Sasuke hadn't done it on purpose. They just had too much history together for Naruto to be able to forget it all. He just wasn't wired that way. Everything had come rushing back… all the emotions he'd been trying to bury or ignore for months. It had felt so natural to sit with Sasuke in that coffee shop again, as though nothing had changed. That he and Sasuke still belonged together.

But the reality was that _everything_ had changed. He was no longer Sasuke's and Sasuke was no longer his.

The thought made him feel as hollow now as it had six months ago when he'd walked out. Wasn't time supposed to make it better? Why did he still feel like this? Sasuke had offered friendship, and Naruto wanted to be able to give that to him. But how could he when he still felt that same pull that he always did just from sitting with Sasuke in a crowded coffee shop for an hour?

Naruto grimaced at the memory of the shock then enormous _relief_ he'd felt when Sasuke had told him that he and Neji hadn't worked out. He hadn't missed the edge of frustration that had been in Sasuke's voice when he'd told Naruto about it. What kind of shitty friend would Naruto make when he was _happy_ that a relationship of Sasuke's didn't work out?

It made him feel like crap. Sasuke's relationship with Neji had seemed perfect… everything Sasuke deserved in a relationship. Their split puzzled Naruto. They seemed ideally suited to each other. Both were ambitious and career-driven, attractive, equally intelligent and with similar interests. Why hadn't it worked? Naruto wondered if the tenseness in Sasuke's expression had been because Neji had been the one to end it. A surge of protective anger flooded through Naruto that _anyone_ could think they were too good for Sasuke when _obviously_ Sasuke was better than Neji and who the fuck does Neji think he _is_ –

Naruto stopped himself. "What the hell is wrong with me?"

It was the same, protective feeling he used to get when he saw Sasuke's parents treating him like shit, this overwhelming urge to defend and take care of Sasuke, to show him just how amazing he knew Sasuke was. Maybe he could be Sasuke's friend after all. He'd just have to shove his possessiveness and physical attraction for Sasuke down, and focus on the part of their relationship that had been more about their friendship.

He _liked_ Sasuke… he admired his drive, intelligence, and focus. Admired his honesty, even if - at times – it had been brutal. And Sasuke had been able to understand Naruto. They both had come from difficult backgrounds, and they knew what it was like to have to struggle for acceptance. They might not have talked about their pasts as much as they should have, but Naruto had always known that Sasuke wouldn't pity him, just as Naruto didn't pity Sasuke. He could relate to Sasuke in a way that he had never been able to relate to anyone before.

And he missed that. He missed so many things about Sasuke, but he missed _that_ the most.

But if he was going to be Sasuke's friend, he couldn't do it half way. He'd have to get over all the other stuff and lock it all away, no matter how hard it was. Sasuke was no longer dating Neji, but that didn't mean he'd be single forever. Could Naruto really stand to see Sasuke happy with someone else? Honestly, anyone would be easier to handle than seeing him with Neji, but still. Naruto got a sick feeling in his gut whenever he thought of Sasuke with someone else. But if he was going to be Sasuke's friend, he'd have to suck it up. If Sasuke was willing to step out of his comfort zone to talk to other people and try to figure out what when wrong to maybe salvage some sort of friendship out of this, then Naruto would try his best to make Sasuke's effort worth it.

Naruto reached his apartment, finally snapping out of his own thoughts enough to notice someone standing on the front steps of his apartment building, watching him approach with hunched shoulders against the chilly night air and a remorseful expression on his face.

Naruto sighed as he saw his friend shiver. "Kiba, you ass. How long have you been out here waiting for me?"

"About half an hour. I called Hana and asked her to take over for me after I got your text. Look, man, I'm so sorry, I -"

"Shut up and come inside. I'll kick your ass where it's warm. Why the fuck didn't you just use your key?"

Kiba just shook his head with a shrug and gave a small, uncertain smile. Naruto realized that Kiba had been worried their friendship would be over and that Naruto wouldn't even want him in his apartment. Naruto rolled his eyes and shoved Kiba into the wall. "Don't smile yet. I'm still kicking your ass. I'm just going to be humane about it. I'm fucking pissed, but you could have at least waited inside."

"One of your neighbors heard me knocking on your door and looked out. I didn't want to freak her out by hanging outside your door all night."

"So you decided to hang out here and freak the whole building out?"

Kiba gave Naruto a tense smile. "It's not the dumbest thing I've done recently, actually."

Naruto shot him a look. "No, it's not."

* * *

Kiba followed Naruto in silence, watching as Naruto unlocked the door to his apartment and hesitantly followed him inside.

"So… you talked to Sasuke today?" Kiba asked tentatively as he closed the door behind him.

Naruto narrowed his eyes at his friend. "Yeah. And imagine my surprise when he told me that my best fucking friend went off in a bar full of people about shit he had no businesses talking about!"

Kiba looked instantly contrite. "I know! I know, I should have told you –"

"You shouldn't have fucking _done_ it!"

"I know. You're right! It's just…. I saw him with that stuck-up looking _asshole_ that you had told me about _,_ and I just… I lost it, alright? I mean, he fucked you over, then he moves on just like that to the guy you'd been upset about in the first place, and it just… I couldn't let him just be all _happy_ about it, ok?"

"Look, I get it, Kiba. I was pissed about Neji, too, but how is spilling all my personal baggage in front of the guy Sasuke was dating supposed to help anything?"

Kiba scrubbed his hands over his face. "I don't know. I wasn't really thinking at the time, I was just so pissed off and… and I fucked up."

Some of the anger left Naruto at Kiba's heartfelt admission of his mistake and obvious remorse about it. Kiba might bluster and screw up, but in the end, his heart was always in the right place and Naruto knew it. Naruto walked over to the kitchen, pulling two beers out of the fridge and handing one to Kiba.

"Sasuke said you were pretty wasted," Naruto offered.

"Yeah, I was. It was Hana's birthday and a bunch of us had gone out to celebrate. I won't use that as an excuse, though. I shouldn't have said it, and you have a right to be mad at me." Kiba looked down at his unopened beer unhappily.

"God, you're learning too many tricks from those dogs you take care of. Look, I'm mad at you but I'll get over it."

A look of abject relief washed over Kiba's face. "Thanks, man. The next morning, when I realized what I'd said, I knew you would be so pissed and I was… I just couldn't tell you."

"Ok, well… next time, just tell me. Don't make me hear about it from my fucking _ex_ when he calls me out of the blue to _talk_ , got it?" Naruto opened his beer and took a swig.

"Sasuke called you?" Kiba asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah. Well, he, uh… texted me. Yesterday. Asking to talk. So I called him back and he asked to meet for coffee."

"And you met him? Is that where you were?" Kiba sounded alarmed.

"Yeah. We met up at the coffee shop a few blocks over."

"What the hell did he want?" Kiba sounded immediately suspicious and protective.

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Just to _talk_ , Kiba. He thought about the crap you said, I guess."

Kiba blinked at the clearly unexpected statement. "Really?"

"Isn't that what you wanted? I mean, you said you told him all that shit about my past to make him feel bad."

"I know, but I didn't actually think he _would_. I mean, I was just being drunk and stupid and venting. But I didn't think he'd actually listen to anything I was saying. I would definitely have told you if I thought he would… you know, _talk_ to you about it!"

"Well, you never did know Sasuke as well as you thought you did, Kiba. He defended you when I got pissed at you. And he took what you said way too seriously if you ask me," Naruto scoffed, taking another swig of his beer.

Kiba just looked at him for a moment, clearly at a loss for what to say. "So… what did he say about it all?"

Naruto swallowed his drink and grimaced. "Evidently he got it in his head to go talk to some Children's Services person, trying to find out how someone with 'my _history'_ deals with it," Naruto said, using finger quotes to show just what he thought about that.

"He… he actually did that?" Kiba raised his eyebrows. "And what did they say?"

Naruto shrugged dismissively, but there was no way Kiba could miss the obvious tension in Naruto's frame. "I don't know. I didn't really want to talk about it. I told Sasuke to just forget it. That stuff was all in the past and I'm fine, but I guess the woman from CS told him that people don't usually just get over that kind of shit, or whatever. I didn't really want to talk about it, so he dropped it."

Kiba leaned forward. "Why didn't you want to talk about it? I mean… look, Naruto, you're one of the strongest people I know, but… but we both know that your childhood screwed you over. And Sasuke starting to ignore you all the time, you can't tell me this didn't all play into it."

Naruto looked away grabbing his bottle cap and walking over to toss it into the recycling bin. He didn't want to remember back to the shitty time when he was young. He hated thinking about it, the queasy feeling he would get before his 'family' would let Childrens Services know it 'wasn't working out'. The way the conversations between his foster parents would abruptly stop when he walked into the room, the way they would withdraw and stop really looking at him, stop talking to him except for brusque 'you have school tomorrow'. Nothing about 'how are you doing', no interest in whether he had friends or was happy or what his favorite classes were in school. And those had been the _good_ families. Naruto didn't think about the ones where Childrens Services had to come and get him from the hospital or the nurse's office at school.

Had Sasuke's disinterest in him subconsciously brought all those feelings back? Naruto didn't know, but he didn't really want to think about it, either. After all, what did it matter? Rejection was rejection. And Naruto already knew how to handle that. It was a lesson he'd learned hard and young. He didn't need to fucking _talk_ about it. "Yeah, whatever. It's _over_ now, and I don't need it as an excuse for things. I got past it, and I really don't like to spend a lot of time thinking about it. They weren't exactly the good old days for me."

Kiba opened his mouth but shut it again at a sharp look from Naruto.

They both drank their beers in silence for a moment.

"So, Sasuke must have a reason for wanting to talk to you about all this. If he's dating Mr. Perfect, what's his deal?"

Naruto shrugged, the false casualness of the gesture not fooling Kiba for a second. "He and Neji broke up."

Kiba's eyes widened. "He broke up with Neji after I talked to him?"

"I don't know who ended it. Sasuke looked pretty annoyed about it. I think Neji probably broke it off with him."

"No way," Kiba shook his head emphatically.

"How would you know, asshat?"

"You didn't see them together in the club, Naruto. Mr. Perfect was totally _gone_ on your boy. There was no way he would have ended things with him. Sasuke was totally the one who did the leaving."

Naruto didn't know why that thought made him both jealous and happy at the same time. "You can't know that for sure. I mean, you always talked about how _I_ was too far gone on Sasuke, and I was the one who left."

"Yeah, I still can hardly believe that, actually. But I'm stickin' to what I said. Sasuke dumped Mr. Perfect. And I'll bet he did it to get back with you. I mean, that has to be what all this is about, right?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Yeah, because, obviously, finding out I am even more fucked up than he originally thought just makes me so much more attractive to him. If Sasuke was the one to ditch Neji, it was more likely to be that he just decided to focus on his career and that he didn't need a relationship at the moment. Sasuke isn't one of these people who always needs to be _with_ someone. He's more than fine on his own."

"But then why call you? He must want _something_ ," Kiba insisted.

"Closure. And maybe friendship. It's not like he has many friends, you know."

"No, Naruto. I mean, seriously -"

"I _asked_ him, ok? I asked him what he wanted. And he said he just wanted to understand what had gone wrong. Probably so he doesn't repeat the same mistake the next time with someone else. I bet he asked Neji the same damn thing. I asked if he wanted to try to be friends or something, and he said maybe. That's it. I mean, I clearly couldn't hold his interest the first time around. I doubt he'd be looking to try again. I think he just wants to learn from his mistakes before he moves on. And maybe we can come out friends. I mean, six years is a long time, for both of us."

Kiba eyed Naruto skeptically. "Yeah, well… I still think it's more than that. Did you at least tell him that things aren't serious between you and Gaara?"

"We didn't talk about Gaara. He doesn't even know about him, unless you went and spouted off about more shit that you didn't tell me about," Naruto said, shooting Kiba a glare.

"Oh, fuck off. Of course I didn't. I just meant with the hickeys you're sporting, I'd be surprised if Sasuke didn't say anything. He was always a possessive bastard when it came to you. It must have burned him up to see someone else's marks on your neck."

Naruto's hand went reflexively to his throat. "My sweatshirt covers it!"

"Um, not when you _move,_ dumbass _._ If I noticed them, I'm sure Sasuke did."

Naruto blushed slightly. It wasn't like he _cared,_ but he hoped Sasuke didn't think he was trying to flaunt it or anything. "He didn't say anything about it. So if he noticed, he didn't care. Which makes sense since Sasuke _doesn't want to get back together with me._ He just… doesn't like loose ends, I guess. And maybe wants to be friends. That's it."

Kiba looked at Naruto thoughtfully for a moment, then just shrugged and finished his beer. "Whatever, man. Look, I'm going to head back. Hana said I have to pull a double tomorrow to make up for flaking out on her last minute tonight."

Kiba went over and pulled on his jacket and shoes, pausing at the door before looking back at Naruto. "So… we good?"

Naruto took a piece of stale popcorn from a bowl that was sitting out on the counter and flicked it at Kiba, hitting him in the head. "Yeah. We're good. Just don't do it again."

"Thanks, Naruto. I won't promise I'll never talk to Sasuke again, but I won't tell him your business without talking to you first. Ok?"

Naruto looked at him strangely. "Somehow I don't see you two becoming pen pals with your history. But whatever. Just don't keep giving him shit about the break-up. I was the one who walked out, not him."

Kiba nodded, then headed out. Once in the hall, Kiba pulled out his phone, scrolling through his contacts to see if he had Sasuke's number. He stared at it for a minute. He looked at the clock on the top of his phone, noting the late hour, then sighed and pushed the phone back into his pocket. It would have to wait.

* * *

It was much later that night when Naruto lay in bed, his mind still unable to sort through how he felt. He was too tired to think about it anymore, exhausted from trying to think about things he'd spent his lifetime avoiding. But underneath it all, beneath all the chaos of his emotions, the strong, visceral pull he'd always felt toward Sasuke surged, somehow not faded at all through all their time apart.

Naruto closed his eyes tiredly, the memories of the first time he'd seen Sasuke in the blue sweater creeping in now that he was too exhausted to keep them at bay anymore.

* * *

 _Sasuke didn't drink to excess very often. He liked control, and copious amounts of alcohol didn't really lend itself to maintaining that. Which was why Naruto was more than a little surprised when he opened the door to his dorm room at eleven o'clock on Friday night to find Sasuke with glazed eyes and flushed cheeks, swaying slightly as Naruto looked at him._

 _"Hey, Sasuke. What's… uh… what's going on?" Naruto tried and failed to hold back a grin. Of the two of them, Naruto was far more likely to show up wasted at Sasuke's door than the other way around. "I thought your advisor was taking you and a few other teacher's pets out for a celebration dinner tonight."_

 _Sasuke frowned as he walked into Naruto's room, but the effect was spoiled as he stumbled slightly. "He did. And the asshole kept toasting each of our fucking projects."_

 _The slightly drunken but thoroughly put-out look on Sasuke's face made Naruto want to laugh._

 _"And so you had to drink to avoid looking like the asshole you actually are." Naruto failed to hold back a snicker at Sasuke's hazy glare. "And since you're a total lightweight, you ended up hammered at your professor's dinner party?"_

 _"Fuck you," Sasuke slurred, pulling off his jacket and sprawling out in a very un-Sasuke-like way on Naruto's bed. "At least your dorm was close to the restaurant the asshole took us to. I didn't want to have to walk all the way across campus like this."_

 _Naruto laughed, already deciding all the ways he was going to make fun of Sasuke for this later. His amusement faded as his eyes drifted over Sasuke's form. He had dressed up for the dinner, wearing the new sweater that Naruto had talked him into buying the other day for the party. It had been a little expensive, but the deep, almost-black blue color of it made Sasuke's eyes and hair look amazing (not that he needed much help), and the tailored fit of it showed the lines of Sasuke's leanly muscled torso. As he stretched on Naruto's bed, the sweater rode up slightly, revealing a swath of porcelain skin across Sasuke's flat stomach just above the black jeans he was wearing._

 _Naruto found his mouth going dry at the sight of it. Trying to distract himself, he walked over to the coffee machine (which he'd only purchased when Sasuke became a regular overnight guest) and checked to see how much coffee he had left._

 _"How 'bout I make you some coffee to help sober you up?"_

 _"Hm," Sasuke hummed from the bed, his voice significantly lower than it had been a moment before, causing Naruto to look up. "I can think of other things I'd rather do."_

 _The sight that met Naruto's eyes had him going half hard in the loose sweat pants he'd been wearing, a fact he was quite sure Sasuke wouldn't miss. One of Sasuke's hands had slid under the soft fabric of sweater, pushing it up more to reveal several inches of pale, smooth flesh as it splayed over his skin. The slight but growing bulge that was visible in the front of Sasuke's black jeans showed that he definitely was thinking of something other than coffee._

 _"Where was this place you went to dinner?" Naruto asked vaguely, trying to get his brain to re-engage._

 _Sasuke smirked, his heavy-lidded eyes locked on Naruto's. "The Blue Ginger."_

 _Naruto paused, his blood heating to a steady thrum. "Your place is actually closer than mine to there."_

 _Sasuke gave a lopsided grin as his dark eyes drifted lower, skimming over the tight, orange T-shirt Naruto was wearing and settling on the front of the sweatpants that rode low on Naruto's narrow hips, doing nothing to hide Naruto's growing state of arousal. Sasuke's hand trailed lower on his own body, palming himself through his jeans._

 _"I don't see you complaining," Sasuke stated smugly, the alcohol obviously making him a lot more talkative than usual. Not that Naruto minded. At all. Naruto was starting to sweat just looking at him._

 _"Fuck, no," Naruto said, leaving the bag of coffee grounds forgotten on the desk as he walked slowly over to where Sasuke lay on his narrow bed. They'd discovered during freshman year that putting in a sheet of half-inch plywood between the metal springs and the mattress saved on damages they had to pay for and also eliminated the annoying squeaking sound of the metal. Something they'd put to use on many occasions since then._

 _Naruto sat on the edge of the bed, his hands sliding up along the inside of Sasuke's thighs, feeling the muscles tense beneath the fabric of the jeans._

 _"God, you're so fucking hot." Naruto felt almost hypnotized as he slid his hand under the hem of Sasuke's sweater, the softness of the cashmere brushing against the back of his hands as the tips of his fingers traced over the hot-smooth flesh of Sasuke's stomach._

 _"Mmmm," Sasuke closed his eyes, his face softer and more open than it was when he was sober as he palmed himself more forcefully through his jeans, his hips lifting slightly._

 _"Oh, fuck, Sasuke…," Naruto felt almost dizzy with arousal. He wanted to do so many things to the man laying pliant in his bed. The hunger he felt for Sasuke wiped everything else from his mind. He wondered sometimes how Sasuke could possibly be his lover, how it was that this perfect man had somehow chosen him.  
_

 _Naruto looked down at Sasuke's face, eyes hazy with alcohol and blown with lust, chiseled lips parted as he breathed harshly. It was so rare for Sasuke to completely let go like this, to give over control. Naruto wanted to give Sasuke everything he needed, help him completely lose himself for just a little bit. He had never been in love before, but knew that there could be nothing more than this. What he felt for Sasuke was so overwhelming and all-consuming, he didn't know what he would do if Sasuke ever realized how much better he could do than Naruto, but for now he was going to take every inch that Sasuke was willing to give him._

 _Naruto took advantage of Sasuke's more vocal state, letting Sasuke's voice and mumbled words guide where Naruto's fingertips, tongue and teeth should linger._

 _Sasuke's eyes were half-mast, his perfect lips parted as his breathing picked up pace again. It struck Naruto in that moment how much trust Sasuke must have in him, to come to him tonight. That Naruto was the first one Sasuke had thought of… had wanted to be with. This beautiful, hard-edged man in his bed had chosen HIM._

 _"Fuck, I love you." The words tumbled out of Naruto's lips before he had time to even think about them. Words he'd thought in his head countless times, but never actually said out loud until that moment._

 _"What?" Sasuke's eyes flared open wide and locked on Naruto's._

 _Naruto nearly took the words back, knowing it was too soon for them to be out in the open, but Sasuke's unguarded expression had given away a flash of need and insecurity that Naruto had never expected to see._

 _"I said I fucking love you, bastard," Naruto said again, thumbing along the hinge of Sasuke's jaw, bringing their open mouths together before Sasuke could say anything. He knew Sasuke wouldn't be able to say it back. Not yet. He didn't want to hear the awkward silence. Sasuke's arms viced around Naruto, almost as though afraid he would disappear. It made Naruto think briefly about how much he loathed Sasuke's parents, that someone as amazing as this man beneath him could be surprised even for an instant that Naruto would love him._

* * *

The sound of his neighbor's door slamming snapped him out of the memory, his body hard and aching for Sasuke in a way it hadn't for six months. Naruto threw his arm over his eyes, cursing the fact that it had been cold enough for Sasuke to grab a sweater, and that it had to be _that_ sweater. He was sure it had been unintentional on Sasuke's part. Sasuke had never really seemed to care about sentimental stuff like that. Naruto knew he just had to get a hold of himself, but how was he supposed to be thinking of Sasuke as a friend when all he could think of right now was…

Naruto forced the images from that night from his mind, but the feeling of them remained. They'd been so happy. Or at least, Naruto had thought so. He wondered if Sasuke thought about it at all anymore, or if he'd just put those memories away as he moved on with his life. Looking back, it had been clear even from the beginning that they were driven by different things. Why hadn't they seen it sooner? Could they have fixed it if they had, or would things have just ended faster?

Naruto's tired mind had no answers for him when he finally drifted off into a restless sleep.

* * *

 _to be continued..._

 **A/N:** So - Naruto's POV took a lot more words than I had anticipated. Given that the conversation in the cafe was from Sasuke's POV, I didn't want to add ANOTHER long, introspective scene of him thinking over the same things that Naruto had thought about. So I'm going to write Sasuke's thoughts maybe in a conversation with someone else. Or a couple of someone else's. The draft title for the next chapter is "Surprising allies". The hint in this chapter was not subtle, but can you guess what it might be about?


	23. Unexpected allies

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **A/N** : I will have you know that I bled for this chapter to make sure it wasn't late. Literally. I won't whine about it here, since I already sought out pity on my website, but suffice it to say that sharp objects and finger-tips DO NOT MIX WELL. un-beta'd, long-ass, chapter typed out with bleeding fingers. Please enjoy. ;-)

* * *

 **Chapter 23 - Unexpected allies**

"No." Sasuke shot his brother a glare, then turned the volume up on the news.

Itachi grabbed the remote from Sasuke's hand, shutting off the TV. "You are not going to spend New Year's alone, little brother."

Sasuke's jaw clenched. It wasn't even December yet. Did they really need to be discussing this? "I would rather have my left arm severed from my body than attend our family New Year's gathering, Itachi'."

Itachi sighed. "It's been six years since you've been to one. I'm sure they no longer expect you to. But I don't understand why you won't spend it with me."

Sasuke rubbed his temples, the dull throbbing in his head making him wish Itachi hadn't decided to come check up on him. "Because while the lack of _my_ presence at the family gatherings will go unremarked, having _you_ not show up would not go unnoticed."

Itachi arched a brow. "And this bothers you? I thought you didn't give a fuck about the family."

Sasuke couldn't put into words exactly why it bothered him. There were vague notions of the blame that everyone would place on him for 'making' Itachi abandon the family on New Year's, even though the rational part of his mind insisted he _didn't_ give a fuck what his family (other than Itachi) thought about him. But beyond that, there was twisted with a general discomfort about the notion that Itachi was offering to do this out of some sort of pity. For the past six years, Sasuke had spent New Year's with Naruto. It had been liberating to not have to stand and be brushed over by his parents and his relatives while they fawned over Itachi. Not that Sasuke had resented Itachi for it, but having his inferiority shoved in his face for three days straight had never been high on Sasuke's list of 'favorite things to do.' It fell somewhere just below having his fingernails pulled out.

His parents hadn't liked that Sasuke had stopped attending (if only for the reason that it might possibly look bad that one of their children did not bother to show up for the family gathering), but since Sasuke had been dating Naruto they had simply told the few people who asked that Sasuke was with his partner's family that New Year's. The mention of Sasuke's sexual orientation quickly ended any further enquiries about his whereabouts. It didn't matter that his parents had never bothered to find out that Naruto _had_ no family, or that somehow it was always Naruto's family's 'turn'. They just needed a reason to not lose face.

"They don't even know I'm not dating anyone anymore. Why can't you just go and I'll stay here?"

Itachi paused. "Did it ever occur to you that I might actually prefer your company to theirs?"

Sasuke gave a short snort of surprise because he had never actually thought of it that way. "It's only for three days. Just go home and do the pretty. Our parents paid for your schooling. The least you can do is let them show you off."

Itachi's eyes narrowed and Sasuke smirked. As hard as it had been to put himself through school, he was at least free of all family obligations. He didn't owe his parents jack shit. Itachi was not as fortunate.

"I don't like the idea of you being alone."

Sasuke's phone buzzed, and he glanced down at it, fully expecting it to be a call from work. He blinked when he saw the number that was appearing on his screen.

Itachi looked at him questioningly, but Sasuke ignored him, standing up and walking to the kitchen as he answered the call on the fourth ring.

"What the fuck do you want?"

" _I… hey, um… Sasuke. This is Kiba."_

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Do you think I answer my phone like this all the time?"

There was the sound of a slightly nervous chuckle from the other end of the line. Sasuke glanced up as Itachi walked into the kitchen and innocently took out a glass, filling it slowly with cold water from the fridge.

" _Right. Right. I just… I thought maybe we could talk._ "

"If you want to know what I said to Naruto about our conversation, you're going to have to ask him yourself. I'm not going to cover for you."

" _No. No, I, um, already talked to him_. _He kicked my ass for it._ "

Sasuke took a slow breath. Kiba and Naruto has been friends since forever. As much as Kiba annoyed the shit out of Sasuke, he didn't really want Naruto to lose that friendship.

"The two of you worked it out?"

 _"Yeah. He took his pound of flesh, but I deserved it. I was talking out of school. But you know Naruto. He gets mad, but he doesn't hold grudges."_

Sasuke felt his stomach twist. "Sometimes."

There was an awkward pause on the line.

" _Right. Yeah, well. Mostly."_

"So you called to tell me that you made up, or what?" Sasuke sent a glare at Itachi, who was casually leaning against the counter holding his water.

 _"No. I mean, yes, we made up but… Naruto told me what you did."_

Sasuke's hackles instantly rose, thinking about all the things that happened during their relationship. He wasn't even dating Naruto anymore, and he sure as fuck wasn't going to waste one of his few mornings off defending his past action to _Kiba_. It was none of Kiba's fucking business. But before he could tell him off, though, Kiba was continuing.

" _About talking to that chick from Children's Services, and, you know, what she said about Naruto and stuff."_

"That _chick_ from Children's Services?" Sasuke didn't bother to hide the annoyance in his voice, but his temper had moderated a bit. He glanced up to see that Itachi was no longer bothering to pretend he wasn't listening in.

Kiba sighed, sounding frustrated. " _Look, I know that you don't like me. And I am not exactly your biggest fan, either. But I'm worried about Naruto. I just… can we talk_?"

"We're talking right now," Sasuke said tersely, but he frowned at the obvious worry in Kiba's voice when he'd mentioned Naruto.

" _No, I mean. Can we meet up or something?"_

"You still have my address." Sasuke glanced over at Itachi. He felt no need to disclose that he had company at the current moment. "Unless you deleted it. In which case, that's your problem, not mine."

 _"God, you're still such a dick. So… I'll be over in twenty?"_

Sasuke hesitated, but he already knew what his answer would be. "Suit yourself."

Sasuke hung up the phone and looked over to where Itachi was still leaning against the counter, holding his untouched glass of water.

"Kiba's coming over."

"I could hear. He has quite a loud voice."

Sasuke breathed out a sound of impatient agreement.

"Aren't you going to tell me to behave when your guest comes?" Itachi asked, pouring the rest of his water out and putting the glass in the dishwasher. It had already served its purpose.

"No. Do what you like." Sasuke said with practiced indifference.

Itachi smiled.

"I thought you gave in rather easily," Itachi said with a gleam of anticipation in his eyes.

"Naruto might not hold grudges. But I do."

Neither mentioned that Sasuke's capitulation to let Kiba over likely had much more to do with Kiba's statement about being worried about Naruto than any small pleasure he would receive when he watched Kiba's face when he came over to find Itachi there.

* * *

Sasuke didn't bother to get up when the knock on the door came a half hour later. Itachi finished pouring himself a cup of coffee before going over to answer the door.

Sasuke would be lying if he didn't admit to a not-so-small amount of pleasure at the way Kiba's eyes widened in no small amount of horror when he saw who answered the door. It was no secret that most of Naruto's friends were terrified of Itachi. To be fair, most _everyone_ found the man intimidating. But Sasuke suspected that Naruto had shared whatever threat Itachi had made to Naruto when they first started dating with his friends, and they had been _exceedingly_ cautious of Itachi ever since.

"Are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand there and stare at my brother?" Sasuke asked from the couch.

"Fucking fuck," Kiba muttered under his breath as he stepped inside, allowing Itachi to close the door behind him.

Sasuke and Itachi exchanged an amused look as Kiba stopped to take off his shoes while keeping his back to the wall, his eyes flicking between Sasuke and Itachi.

Itachi walked over to the living room, sitting down in one of the two leather arm chairs across from where Sasuke was sitting on the couch reading the news, barely glancing over at his 'guest'.

Itachi picked up his coffee, taking a slow sip as he watched Kiba nervously finish removing his shoes. The Uchiha brothers were comfortable with extended silences. It was very clear that Kiba was not.

"So, uh. Thanks for having me over," Kiba began tentatively as he walked over to them.

Sasuke looked up from his laptop, arching a brow expectantly. Kiba gingerly sat down on the free chair, eyes darting over to where Itachi sat, calmly observing him with an unreadable expression. Sasuke could detect the slight gleam of perspiration on the veterinarian's brow, and it made him almost smile.

"It must have been a bit of a surprise that I called you, after, um… after our last conversation," Kiba tried again to find a way to ease into the conversation.

Neither of the Uchiha brothers cared for small talk.

"From what I've heard, calling your encounter where you accosted my brother in the middle of his date in a public establishment 'a conversation' would be a bit disingenuous," Itachi said, his voice smooth but still carrying the edge of a threat.

Kiba licked his lips nervously, rubbing his sweaty palms on his jean-clad thighs. "Right. Right, I guess that's probably true. Sorry about that."

Sasuke was slightly surprised at the apology. Kiba had never been his biggest fan, but at their last encounter he had definitely seemed like he'd meant every word he'd hurled at Sasuke. Sasuke wondered what game Kiba was playing at, and he narrowed his eyes at the man. "No, you're not. Let's cut to the chase, Kiba. I don't like you, and you don't like me. You never have and that only got worse after Naruto and I broke up. What are you doing here?"

Kiba blinked, clearly not expecting such a full frontal assault. Obviously he didn't know Sasuke very well. "I am, though. Sorry, I mean."

"Because Naruto kicked your ass? Did he make you come over here and apologize?" Sasuke asked. Itachi smirked, leaning back in his chair, seemingly to enjoy the show.

"No, he doesn't even… Look, can we just skip the interrogation and intimidation part? I want to talk to you about Naruto."

Sasuke was about to tell Kiba to shove it, but Itachi beat him to it. "And why would Sasuke want to talk with you about Naruto? Or about anything?" The utter calmness of Itachi's voice seemed to make Kiba even more nervous.

Kiba looked slightly terrified as Itachi tool the small spoon and stirred his coffee before taking another drink. Kiba managed to pull himself together, though, and answered the question.

"Because I think Naruto is more screwed up than I realized. More screwed up than _he_ realizes. And I think he's going to end up getting hurt again if he doesn't figure that out. And I was hoping that Sasuke would talk to me about this because I think that - despite the way he acted when he and Naruto were together - I think Sasuke actually gives a fuck about Naruto." Kiba looked directly at Sasuke, all signs of nervousness vanishing. "Naruto told me that you talked to someone. A professional who's dealt with the kind of shit Naruto went through. He blew it off, but I want to know what they said. I want to help him."

Sasuke looked at Kiba, surprise flashing across his face. He hesitated, clearly not really wanting to talk with Kiba, but not able to refute what Kiba had said. "Naruto will not be happy that you talked to me about this. He doesn't want to hear about it. And I'm not going to lie to him about the fact that you were here."

Kiba nodded. "Yeah, and I don't give a shit about that. Look, I didn't like you when you were dating Naruto because I felt like Naruto was always trying to help you deal with your fucked-up family shit, but you never did the same for him."

Itachi set his cup of coffee down. "You're not making a very good case for us to allow you to stay much longer." There was a hint of steel in his tone that Kiba didn't miss. The younger man flinched slightly, but then just nodded and continued.

"No, I'm just… look, I'm trying to say that maybe I was wrong."

Sasuke arched an eyebrow, skepticism clear on his face. Kiba rushed to continue.

"I mean, if you really didn't give a fuck about Naruto, you wouldn't have bothered talking to the Children's Services chick, you know?"

"Konan," Itachi corrected.

"Yeah, ok. Konan. Whatever. Anyway, I know Naruto is trying to play this off as just your… ocd need to diagnose what went wrong so it doesn't happen next time, but I think he's full of shit. He doesn't want to think that you give a damn, because then he has to deal with all the shit he doesn't want to think about."

"Like what?" Sasuke asked, his jaw tense.

"Like the fact that his childhood fucked him up and he just buried it. Like the fact that you weren't the only screwed-up one in that relationship. Naruto saw the shit your parents pulled, so he understood it more. It was in his face, so he could see it and deal with it. But with Naruto, you didn't get to see him getting the shit beat out of him or dumped back off at Children's Services when a family got tired of him or whatever. And even though he said he talked to you about it, he probably didn't talk _much_. He saw your shit, but you didn't see his." Sasuke narrowed his eyes at him, but Kiba didn't back down. "Dude, you can deny that you've got issues all you want, but no one drives themselves as hard as you do for that long unless they've got major shit to prove or avoid. Besides, it was one of the things Naruto said you had in common. Fucked-up family shit from when you were kids."

Itachi looked at Sasuke, but Sasuke didn't acknowledge it. "You don't know me, Kiba."

Kiba nodded. "Yeah. I get that. I thought I did, but I've been realizing that Naruto was right. I really _don't_ know you. I thought you were a self-absorbed ass who couldn't give Naruto what he needed."

"And I _still_ think that you're an overconfident idiot who likes to run his stupid mouth about things he doesn't understand. You don't know what I need, and you don't know what Naruto needs." Sasuke felt his temper rise. Maybe he hadn't been able to be what Naruto needed, but he didn't need someone like Kiba telling him that.

Temper flared in Kiba's eyes, but then he laughed. "Well, my sister says the same things to me half the time. You're an asshole, Sasuke, but I guess you're an _honest_ ass. I'll give you that. Look, I might not know what Naruto needs, but I know he deserves to be happy and he wasn't. I'm his best friend, but there are some things that I can't do for him. He wants a home and a family."

Sasuke was more than a little surprised that the usually hot-headed Kiba was able to keep his temper in check, though he didn't show it. But Kiba had always done his best to have Naruto's back in the past, even if Sasuke hadn't always agreed with the way he'd gone about it. He must have decided it was worth keeping his temper in check at least for the time being.

"Shouldn't you be talking to his new boyfriend about all this?" Sasuke's words were clipped as he forced them out.

Kiba blinked. "Boyfriend? Oh, you mean -," he cut himself off, suddenly realizing he was entering dangerous ground in this conversation, talking about things that Naruto might not like disclosed. Not that Naruto would like _any_ of this, though Kiba was probably trying not to think too much about that. "Shit, I told him you have… fuck. Um… look, I just think maybe... it would be good if you guys were… talking again, or whatever."

"You don't approve of the person Naruto is seeing now," Itachi said, his eyes sharp.

Kiba shifted, his expression guarded. "I didn't say that."

"You wouldn't be trying to tell Sasuke to basically get back together with him if you did," Itachi replied drily.

Sasuke was torn between feeling happy at Kiba's disapproval of whoever Naruto was involved with and concern that the situation was bad enough for Kiba to reach out to him despite their past relationship. What had Naruto gotten himself into? Sasuke's protective instincts flared despite himself. "Is he with someone who is hurting him?"

The dangerous edge in Sasuke's voice wasn't lost on the other two men in the room. Itachi looked smugly amused, but Kiba actually looked… almost relieved.

"Not in the way you're probably thinking," Kiba hedged. "Just… I just think it would be good if you two talked more." Itachi made a sound of amusement, and Kiba blushed slightly but continued. "Especially if you've talked to someone who can help Naruto work through some of his shit."

"I don't think he wants to talk to me about any of that," Sasuke said evenly, though he knew he would probably end up calling Naruto later to check on him.

Kiba sighed. "What did she say about him?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Konan? It wasn't about Naruto specifically. She wasn't involved in his case and I didn't go into details. Less specific than what you'd told me in the bar."

Kiba flinched slightly at the cold look Sasuke sent him at the reminder of the blow-out at the bar, but prompted. "And?"

"Shouldn't you talk to Naruto about this?" Sasuke countered.

"He won't talk to me about it. Plus he told me he didn't really let you say much about it when the two of you talked about it. Why else do you think I'd call you?"

"He won't like that you did. Weren't you just telling me that he kicked your ass last night for basically the same thing?"

"Yeah. And, yeah, maybe he'll be pissed about this, too. But I'm his fucking friend and he's unhappy. Breaking up with you just… it changed him and not in a good way. He acts like -," Kiba cut off, shaking his head. "I don't care if he gets mad at me."

"He acts like what?" Sasuke asked, frowning, a twisting feeling of guilt and worry diffusing the annoyance that had been building at Kiba's continued jabs.

"Look, I might be willing to admit that I was wrong about you before, but we still aren't exactly friends. I'm not going to tell you anything about Naruto until I know for sure you're not going to do more harm than good with it. Just tell me what Konan said about him."

Sasuke just looked at him, but Kiba stood his ground. Itachi sipped his coffee, seemingly content to observe the standoff. Finally, Sasuke shrugged. "Nothing surprising. Just that he would have trust and abandonment issues. He'd have built a defense mechanism to basically leave at the first sign of trouble, before someone leaves him."

Kiba seemed to think about this for a moment.

"You were a total ass to him, you know. At the end," Kiba huffed out. "It wasn't just him just being overly-sensitive."

"Whether I was or I wasn't, that's between Naruto and me." Sasuke's voice was cold, not interested in Kiba's judgement of his actions, past or present.

"Oh, you _were_ ," Kiba said clearly. "He bent over backward to support you and your career, but you did jack shit to help him."

"Except work my ass off to help him pay down his student loans and cover our bills to take the pressure off him so he could figure out how to get his career started," Sasuke shot back icily.

Kiba opened his mouth, then closed it. "Shit. I never really thought about that."

"Obviously." Sasuke rolled his eyes, looking off to the side of the room. Itachi shifted, and Sasuke met his gaze briefly. "But… I probably didn't balance it right," he admitted tensely.

Kiba sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face. "Damn. It was so much easier when I could just hate you."

Sasuke glanced over at him, and his lips twitched. "There's still plenty of time for that. I still don't particularly like _you._ "

Kiba laughed, then sobered, looking at Sasuke assessingly for a moment. He seemed to reach a decision about something when he spoke. "Ok, I should be heading out. I have to get to work. Look… Naruto is going to kick my ass for this whole thing anyway, so... you should check out the new book from Sanin Publishing."

There was no mistaking the intense look in Kiba's steady gaze. This was no casual book club referral. Sasuke slowly nodded. "Ok. I will."

Kiba gave a sharp nod in return, then stood and headed back to the door, shoving his feet in his shoes. "Call me if you want to talk about any of it. And, you know, you could… call Naruto. You don't need to do some stupid 'wait three days to call' bullshit shit, or whatever."

* * *

Itachi finished his coffee, watching his brother pretend to go back to reading the news on his laptop after Kiba left, though in reality Sasuke was looking up where the nearest bookstore was because there was no way he was going to wait to order the book online.

"You were less hostile to Kiba than I had expected you to be, given your history with him," Itachi said after a moment.

Sasuke didn't look up. There was a bookstore only four blocks away that had the book in stock. "Kiba's an ass, but he's only looking out for his friend. You'd do the same thing. Only you'd be much more Machiavellian about it."

"Hm," Itachi murmured, not disagreeing. "So it had nothing to do with you being concerned about Naruto and willing to overlook things."

Sasuke looked up, meeting Itachi's gaze head-on. "Do you have a point?"

Itachi shrugged, as he walked to the kitchen, setting his mug in the sink. "You never did tell me what you and Naruto talked about when you met up the other day."

Sasuke looked back down at his laptop. "We talked. He got mad. We talked some more. We didn't really resolve anything but it was better than the last time we'd run into each other."

 _'Honestly, I don't know how to think about all this. But… I'm glad we talked,'_ Naruto had said. Sasuke had thought that, somehow, it would be immediately obvious whether things between them would be fixable or not. But he wasn't sure where things were headed. A lot of it depended on how serious Naruto was about the person he was currently sleeping with.

"Naruto agreed to meet with you. Even thinking that you might have been cheating on him."

Sasuke didn't respond. Naruto was the kind of person who would hear _anyone_ out, regardless of how much he disliked them or whether or not he believed them. Naruto agreeing to meet with him didn't necessarily signal anything. Itachi's next comment indicated he agreed with Sasuke's unspoken thought.

"But I suppose with Naruto, that doesn't mean much. He met our parents, and we both know how much he loathes them."

Sasuke shot Itachi a glare, knowing Itachi was not-so-subtly reminding him of all the times Naruto had stood up for him, all the ways Naruto had supported him. As though the fact that Naruto _used_ to care about him was somehow evidence that Naruto still _did._ Sasuke just pressed his lips together, not rising to the bate.

"Did you ask him why he just happened to pick an apartment right next door to your favorite restaurant?" Itachi asked him with a mischievous gleam in his eye as he slid his wallet into his pocket.

Sasuke could feel his face flush slightly. That had been definitely… interesting. But his asshole of a brother didn't need to know that he'd basically confirmed that Naruto had done it on purpose.

"You're not being very fun," Itachi said, relaxing back in the chair and crossing his feet at the ankles while he observed his brother speculatively.

"If the lack of entertainment bores you, feel free to leave," Sasuke said drily. Then he could go to the bookstore and get the goddamn book Kiba had told him to go read.

"Hm. This is still entertaining, even without your cooperation. Besides, I fully intend on accompanying you to the bookstore I'm sure you've just looked up. Did Naruto tell you he had a boyfriend or were you just guessing?"

"Tch," Sasuke looked at his brother, annoyed. Itachi was already pulling on his jacket. Sasuke stood, grabbing his wallet and keys before doing the same. "No, but it was pretty obvious he was at least sleeping with someone."

"Sex doesn't necessarily mean he's in a relationship."

"Yeah, you'd know all about that. But you usually don't let people mark you up if it's just a one night thing."

Itachi hummed in a way that didn't express full agreement, but he didn't pursue it. "Whoever Naruto was sleeping with, Kiba came to you when he was worried about Naruto. Not Naruto's current boyfriend."

Sasuke felt a flood of a twisted sort of possessiveness and concern that washed through him at those words. If Naruto had been in a relationship that was truly good for him, Sasuke liked to think he was the kind of man who would step back and not get in the way. But that didn't mean he wasn't fucking glad to not be put to that particular test.

Not that he put too much stock in Kiba's opinion on things. After all, Kiba had disliked Sasuke for six years and Naruto had never let it affect their relationship. Naruto made his own decisions about his life. It was one of the things Sasuke had always admired about him. He might have a lot of friends that he surrounded himself with, but his sense of right and wrong and his opinions on the merits of other people were his own. Just because Kiba now decided Sasuke was the right person for Naruto didn't mean that it was true, or that Naruto would agree.

As usual, Itachi was thinking along similar lines.

"Hm. Kiba was impressed at the little story you told about working so hard just to support Naruto, you and I know that is only half true. If you want to try to make a relationship with Naruto work, you're going to have to make space for him. Working a hundred hours a week to prove yourself to our parents is just going to land you back in the same place you are now."

"I'm not trying to prove -"

"Yes. You _are_. And until you admit what you're doing, at least to yourself, you're not going to be able to fix it. It has to be a conscious choice, Sasuke. You have to know what makes you happy, and what doesn't. Naruto's not the only one needing to deal with issues from his past."

"I know that." Sasuke's jaw clenched as Naruto's words from the coffee shop came back to him. _'Our relationship ended because you were focused too much on work, and I was focused too much on you. That's all. You put your career ahead of our relationship, and I put our relationship ahead of my career.'_

Itachi looked at him for a moment, then sighed when it became clear Sasuke wasn't going to say anything more about it. "Did you at least explain to him about your relationship with Neji?"

"I think he believes me that I didn't sleep with Neji while I was dating Naruto." As much as Naruto was clearly upset about Sasuke dating Neji, if he really believed that Sasuke had been sleeping with him while they were dating Naruto would have done a hell of a lot more than just glare at Sasuke… he would have ripped him apart.

"But?" Itachi queried.

"But he said that he knew I wasn't one to just sleep around. He doesn't believe Neji and I just 'randomly ended up in bed' after all the late nights we spent working together. I told him I wouldn't lie about it, and he didn't disagree with me, but…," Sasuke made a small motion with his hand. "He doesn't really know what to think. He saw the article. It didn't help."

Itachi nodded thoughtfully. "Neji is smart, driven, and comes from a good family. Things Naruto feels he lacks."

Sasuke's tone sharpened, and he stopped walking to turn and look Itachi square on. "Naruto isn't stupid."

Itachi quirked a brow, looking slightly amused. "I know that. But you know he was always making jokes about how you were 'the smart one' in the relationship. You know as well as I do that he was only half-joking when he said it."

Sasuke hesitated only a moment before falling into step beside Itachi again. He understood a lot of Naruto's insecurities better now. How hard would it be to get your homework done with the kind of home life Naruto had had? He would have struggled in school, and that would have followed him.

"So how did you leave it?"

"He asked if I wanted to try to be friends. And I said maybe." Sasuke chose to ignore the disparaging sound Itachi made. "I told him to call me after he'd sorted through things with Kiba. And that we could maybe try to talk again over dinner, since he lived right next to my favorite restaurant."

Sasuke's lips curved slightly in amusement as he remembered Naruto's blush at the statement.

"So you asked him on a date, basically, but under the pre-text of friendship?" Itachi didn't sound entirely disapproving.

Sasuke shrugged.

"Well. It would appear his conversation with Kiba is over."

"Hn."

They had reached the bookstore, and went inside. Sasuke didn't bother browsing, but went directly up to the clerk and asked if he knew where the latest book from Sanin Publishing was.

* * *

Itachi didn't want to wait his turn to look at the book, so he'd purchased his own copy. They'd brought them back to Sasuke's apartment and both sat on the couch to look through them. Itachi had to leave in under an hour to drive back in time to make his shift at the hospital, so they'd ordered out lunch.

"Naruto joined a sex club?" Itachi frowned, sounding skeptical.

Sasuke hummed noncommittally as he skimmed through the book. Somehow he didn't really see Naruto entering that lifestyle. He wasn't really about public sex or exhibitionism. Naruto was more about the relationship, not about the sex act itself. Even if Naruto joined a sex club, it wouldn't be as a single club-goer. He'd have a partner.

Sasuke first looked to see if there was something about the dedication that would imply Naruto had a relationship with the author, but it was just some meaningless note:

 _Sorry this book is late. A black cat crossed my path when I was taking it to my publisher and I had to take the long way around._

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Was the author trying to be funny? He continued to flip through the book, looking to see if there was a photo of Naruto in here with someone, though he didn't really expect that. Naruto didn't generally like to be the subject of photos… he much preferred to be the one _behind_ the camera, but Kiba had made it pretty obvious that this book had something to do with the person Naruto was seeing.

As usual, Naruto managed to capture emotions and subtleties that didn't really need the accompanying text to explain, but there were none of Naruto. He was beginning to feel slightly annoyed that maybe Kiba had just been yanking his chain and trying to trick him into buying a sex book, but two-thirds of the way through the volume, Sasuke saw a picture that made him freeze, understanding slowly dawning on him.

The photo was of a man that had appeared in a few photos throughout the book, mostly in the background. But here, he was front and center, bare-chested wearing only tight leather pants. There was nothing specifically sexual about his pose, though the man's body was definitely worthy of attention. What had captured Sasuke's attention was the expression on the man's face as he looked down at the club floor from what appeared to be some sort of balcony that overlooked it. While most of the photos previous to this had the man looking fairly closed-off (Sasuke had immediately thought of him as what he'd always imagined as a Dom persona as he flipped through), this photo was different. There was a small, secret smile playing on the man's lips, making him seem much more human. It was a photo that spoke of intimacy, a side of the person that Sasuke would bet most people didn't get to see. The caption of the photo identified the person as the owner of the club, Sabaku Gaara.

Sasuke felt his stomach tense as he looked at the photo with new eyes. This man was Naruto's lover. His eyes narrowed.

"He's dating the owner."

Itachi looked surprised, something that - in any other circumstance - Sasuke would have enjoyed.

"How do you know?" Itachi leaned over to look at the page Sasuke was looking at.

"This picture."

Itachi looked at the photo for a moment, searching for what Sasuke saw in it. "Sabaku Gaara. I haven't read much of the book yet, but there is a bit about his personal history in the beginning," Itachi said.

Sasuke flipped back to the first chapter, scanning through to see what Itachi was mentioning.

"The author doesn't say much about it, except that he his mother died when he was very young and he has two siblings. He never mentions his father in the interview. I'm sure that's no accident."

So Gaara would have things in common with Naruto. But Kiba had still come to Sasuke, not Gaara. Was it just because Gaara owned a sex club, or was there more to Kiba's disapproval than that? Sasuke could spend the evening reading the book. But what he really wanted to do was talk to Naruto.

* * *

 _"Where are we even going with all this?"_ Naruto had asked Sasuke the night before in the coffee shop.

 _"I don't know. I just want to at least understand what went wrong in the first place."_

 _"What, so we can try to be… friends or something?"_

 _"Maybe. I don't know."_

Those words played themselves over and over again in Naruto's mind. It had been more than six months since they'd broken up. What did Sasuke want? What could Naruto really give him? If he was honest with himself, he wasn't really sure they could be friends. It was hard for him to accept that about himself, but Naruto knew he would never really be over Sasuke enough to wish him well with someone else.

He glanced at his phone. Sasuke had asked him to call him when he'd had time to deal with Kiba. But he really had no idea what to say to Sasuke if he did call. Should he agree to meet him for dinner like Sasuke had suggested? Naruto wanted to. _Fuck_ , he wanted to. But he just really didn't know if he could handle it.

Gaara had told him to go for it when they'd spoken after Kiba had left his apartment then night before.

 _"You spent six years of your life with this person. If you don't at least try to find out if you can be friends with him, it will eat at you. You don't do relationships casually, Naruto. As much as I wish you did, sometimes." Gaara had chuckled, the low, rich sound of it coming through the phone as Naruto had laid in bed, talking to him about what had happened at the coffee shop with Sasuke, then at his apartment with Kiba. As usual, Gaara listened, asking questions only where needed._

 _"What if he starts seeing someone else and I turn into a total asshole? I don't want to be that guy."_

 _"From what you told me, Sasuke is perfectly capable of dealing with you if you step out of line. He knows you well enough to know the risks, and he still asked to talk to you. The worst thing that could happen is that one of you screws up and you sever ties again. But that's already been the case, Naruto. It seems to me like you have nothing to lose. Especially since you don't even know what he wants from you yet. He might not even know what he wants."_

 _Naruto had been silent, his mind torn between what he wanted and what made sense for him to grab._

"Yeah… but you don't know what it's like to want someone like that, Gaara." Naruto murmured the words to himself that he hadn't spoken to Gaara on the phone. He didn't want to fight with Gaara, but he knew that it would be impossible for someone who had never really been in love with someone - _obsessively_ in love - to know how much damage Sasuke could still do to him.

"Alright. Get your shit together," Naruto reprimanded himself, opening up his laptop and googling the hotel that Jiraiya's people had booked him in for his next assignment. He groaned when he saw how far it was from the shoot location. He hoped it was easy to catch a taxi from the hotel because he did not want to have to lug all his heavy-ass equipment that far on his back.

As he noticed the flavor of the surrounding businesses, Naruto began to suspect that Jiraiya's favorite hotels had more to do with the availability of nightlife options nearby rather than any real proximity to the subject matter of the work. Which was fine, except that the guy wasn't even accompanying Naruto on most of his trips. Naruto made a mental note to book his own hotels next time.

He looked over at the clock. Kiba had invited him over to watch movies at his place with Shikamaru and Shino, but Naruto didn't really feel like going. He was pretty sure Kiba would have told them all about Sasuke talking to the person from Children's Services, and he didn't want to have that conversation again. He knew his friends meant well, but there was a reason Naruto had never really talked about his past with them. They had all had regular, normal families growing up. He didn't want their pity and he didn't want to talk about it so everyone could _understand_ , or whatever bullshit that woman Sasuke had talked to would tell him to do. He didn't want to live in his past. He wanted to focus on the present.

Naruto chewed on his lip. He really didn't want to be alone, though. He'd be by himself for the next five days on his trip. While he'd gotten better over the past few months of living on his own, he would never be a loner at heart. It was something about himself he was learning to accept, but not be a slave to. He dialed Gaara's number, hoping the man wouldn't be annoyed that Naruto was calling him when he was working. Maybe he could drive up and meet Gaara when the club closed.

The phone rang four times before going to voicemail.

Naruto didn't leave a message. He didn't really have anything in particular to say, he was just…

He sighed, trying hard not to think about what Gaara might be doing that he hadn't been able to take Naruto's call. He liked Gaara, and liked being with him. But he knew that the physical side of their relationship was starting to mess with his head. He'd never been able to separate the emotions from the act.

He briefly considered calling Sasuke, but that though had him breaking into a cold sweat about what he would say that wouldn't sound lame or fumbling. In the end went back to checking and packing his equipment then pulling up a movie on Netflix to watch. It was times like this when he missed having a roommate. Just some form of human contact when his mind was taking him to places he didn't want to be, to distract him. Sasuke had always been able to tell, back when he used to pay attention to Naruto. He wouldn't push or make Naruto talk about it, but he'd find a way to distract Naruto from it (usually by picking a fight, but their fights usually led to sex, so it was all good).

Naruto sprawled out on the couch as Deadpool started. It was his new favorite movie, and he couldn't help wondering what Sasuke would have thought about it. Normally, Sasuke wasn't a big fan of the typical action movie Naruto loved where the plot revolved around gratuitous car chases, crashes, and explosions. But Deadpool was a sarcastic fuck, and Sasuke had always been a fan of intelligent sarcasm. Naruto had a ridiculous urge to call Sasuke up and ask him if he'd seen it, or invite him over to watch it with him.

The thought annoyed him. He'd been doing pretty well with the whole 'being alone' thing for the past few months. How did that get all undone by just one meeting with Sasuke?

He was only about a third of the way through the movie (and maybe he'd replayed the counting bullets scene a couple of extra times) when his phone rang. He expected it to be Kiba or Shika, but was surprised to see Sasuke's number on the screen.

"Hey. Sasuke?"

" _I didn't see any homicides listed in the paper this morning, so I'm guessing you resolved things with Kiba?_ "

Sasuke's smooth, baritone somehow both settled Naruto down and made him tense up all at once. Naruto smiled as he paused the movie.

"Maybe I'm still deciding how best to hide the body. Hey, do you think I could get tips from Itachi?"

 _"Tch. Like he'd tell anyone his secrets._ "

Naruto laughed, feeling a warmth spread to his cheeks when he heard a slight chuckle from the other end of the line.

"So… you working this weekend?" Naruto asked, not really sure what to say. He was content to just hear Sasuke's voice. He wasn't ready to talk about anything serious, though. Sasuke seemed to take the hint.

" _No. Things at work have settled down a little. I have more say in how shit gets done, now, so I was able to cut out a lot of the crap."_

Naruto found himself laughing again. Sasuke never had any patience for things that were just busy-work back when they were in school. He couldn't imagine that had gone away now that Sasuke had a job. "I bet. Just don't piss too many people off and end up fired."

Naruto could practically hear Sasuke shrug over the phone. " _They can't afford to fire me. Besides, I only eliminated the stuff that didn't actually matter. I don't know why no one did it before."_

Naruto was still grinning. "Because most people try to play nice in the sand box, Sasuke."

" _Whatever. How about you? Any new projects?_

"Yeah," Naruto rubbed the back of his head as he stretched out on the couch. "Actually, I have to leave at the asscrack of dawn tomorrow for a new project. I'll be out of town for about five days."

Naruto described the new project and talked about some of his more colorful experiences with Jiraiya. He managed to extract a promise from Sasuke that he would watch Deadpool over the next week and let Naruto know what he thought about it. He was surprised when he looked up to see that they'd been on the phone for almost an hour.

"Ah, shit. It's late. I have to get up early." Naruto hesitated, not really sure what to say as the conversation ended. It had felt so much like the conversations they used to have at the beginning of their relationship that it was almost painful.

" _Right. I should let you go."_ Sasuke sounded equally uncertain on how to end the call. Naruto took a breath and was about to say goodbye, when Sasuke spoke. " _Hey. Maybe we could meet up for dinner when you get back."_

Naruto bit his lip. Dinner felt date-like.

Part of him wanted to clarify whether Sasuke was actually asking him for a date, or just catching up with a friend. But Sasuke had said they would try for friends, and Naruto didn't want to make it awkward by mentioning that it felt more like a date. That was probably all in his head... friends went to dinner, too. He just needed to get a grip.

"Dinner sounds great. I'll call you during the week when I know whether I'll be back on Thursday or Friday." He had time to figure out how to make the friend thing work. This had only brought home how much about Sasuke he had really missed. Being friends again would give him most of that back. All he needed to do was figure out how to stop himself from wanting things that he couldn't have.

He lied and told himself it wouldn't be a problem.

* * *

 _to be continued..._

 _A/N: I love the counting bullets scene in Deadpool. *rolls around happily in gratuitous, implausibly perfect violence and mayhem*_

We are getting close to the end. Can you feel it?


	24. Taking steps

**Summary** : Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **Warning! Chapter edited to remove sexual content** per FF's ToS. You can find the full version on Ao3 dot org.

* * *

 **Chapter 24 - Taking steps  
**

* * *

Naruto was dozing in his seat on the train when a man jostled him awake, stumbling into the seat next to him and bumping Naruto's leg with his bag. Naruto reflexively clutched his bag of camera equipment tighter, but it was in no danger of falling to the floor.

"S'rry," the man mumbled before seeming to fall almost instantly asleep.

"No problem," Naruto replied, on the off chance the man could still hear him. He glanced down at his watch to see that it was only ten in the morning. He still had almost another hour before his stop. A strong smell of sake and sweat wafted over to him from his new neighbor, and Naruto turned to face the window, hoping to get slightly away from the smell.

He glanced over his shoulder at the man, noting his rumpled suit and generally disheveled appearance. Who went drinking at ten in the fucking morning?

Naruto remembered back in college, when Sasuke had taken the bus home from an interview for his first internship junior year. The interview had included dinner, so it had been one of the later busses when Sasuke had finally finished up. Sasuke had showed up at Naruto's door pissed off, and Naruto had assumed that the interview had gone poorly. When he asked Sasuke about it, he ended up getting a story about how an obnoxious man drunk off his ass had ended up sitting next to Sasuke for the entire ride, trying to make conversation with him for hours, stinking of alcohol and thinking no one could tell he was drunk. Sasuke had little patience for people at the best of times, and this man had only avoided being stuffed out the moving bus window by the fact that he was too fat to fit through the opening.

Naruto had laughed at the time, but now felt some degree of sympathy. The smell was truly unbearable, and - combined with the swaying of a bus - Naruto could only imagine how much worse it had been for Sasuke. Without really thinking about it, Naruto pulled out his phone.

 _Remember that annoying drunk guy who sat by you on the bus junior year? I think he just fell into the seat next to me. And evidently decided to take up morning drinking._

Naruto pulled out a mint and popped it into his mouth, breathing through his mouth rather than his nose, hoping to avoid the smell of the man next to him. His phone buzzed, making him chuckle when he saw what Sasuke had texted back.

 _This is karma for not being sympathetic at the time. Payback's a bitch. Hopefully he won't puke on your shoes._

Naruto's laughter faded as he looked nervously over at the man in a drunken stupor on the seat next to him.

 _Asshole. Don't even joke about that. I didn't pack a spare pair._

 _I'm sure you could expense it as due to a work-related hazard_

Naruto snickered, typing back.

 _Yeah. According to my boss, the only travel expense I don't get reimbursed for is hookers_

There was a slightly longer pause this time, and Naruto was nervous he'd annoyed Sasuke until he got the reply.

 _I am trying to imagine having that conversation with my boss._

Naruto grinned.

 _Jiraiya is nothing like that ass, Kabuto. He's actually pretty cool. Just always use hand sanitizer after shaking his hand. God knows where they've been or what he's been doing with them._

There was an even longer pause this time.

 _Sorry. Someone came into my office. I don't work for Kabuto anymore. Haven't for almost five months._

Naruto realized Sasuke must have gotten a pretty major promotion if he no longer reported to Kabuto. He wondered if someone had celebrated it with him. He was torn between hoping someone had, but hating the fact that it had probably been Neji. Sasuke's comment about someone coming into his office filtered into Naruto's thoughts, and he suddenly realized that he was texting Sasuke at work. Sasuke had always told him not to text or call unless it was an emergency in the past. Naruto grimaced, feeling the guilt and anxiety that he used to feel rush over him.

 _Sorry, man. Forgot you would be at the office. I'll let you get back to work. Congrats on the promotion!_

Naruto bit his lip, surprised that Sasuke had replied to Naruto's initial (rather random and definitely not urgent) text at all, honestly. Naruto put his phone down, assuming their conversation was over. He had barely set it on his bag when it buzzed again.

 _Are you working tonight?_

Naruto paused, surprised, then quickly replied to Sasuke.

 _I should be finished by seven. Then dinner. You?_

 _I'll be finished by nine. Can I call you then?_

Naruto felt a strange mix of anticipation and sadness. He had been enjoying talking to Sasuke, even if they hadn't really talked about anything that mattered. But it was reminding him of all that had gone away when Sasuke had started his job. Naruto didn't want to set himself up for that kind of fall again. Still, he couldn't reply any other way as he texted Sasuke telling him he could call any time before midnight.

* * *

Naruto stepped out of the shower, scrubbing his hair and body dry with the fluffy, white hotel towel. His day had been long, and after lugging his camera equipment up and down more flights of stone steps than he could count, he was sore all over. He didn't bother to get dressed, just wrapped the towel around his waist and flopped down on the bed, letting his eyes drift closed with deep sigh of fatigue. He still had at least two more days of this project. Taking photos of various temples was a lot more grueling than he imagined.

He fumblingly reached over to the nightstand where he'd left his phone down and set his alarm just in case he fell asleep, then sent Kiba a text:

 _Dude. I am so fucking dead._

 _What happened? Did you screw up your shoot? Drop a camera?_

Naruto blinked then realized what Kiba thought he meant.

 _No. Not dead like in trouble. Dead like… dead tired. I need to spend more time at the gym_

 _Leave me out of it. I couldn't walk for almost two days after you killed me from the workout last week._

 _Pussy,_ Naruto texted

 _You wish_ , Kiba replied. _Working. gtg_

Naruto chuckled tiredly, then groaned when he realized he hadn't set his equipment to charge. He had just dragged himself out of bed and began organizing everything for the next morning when his phone rang. He grinned nervously when he saw it was Sasuke calling him.

"Hey!" Naruto answered, immediately wondering if he was coming across as too excited. This was not supposed to be a big deal… just them trying to salvage some sort of friendship.

"Hey." Sasuke's deep voice made Naruto bite his lip, grabbing his towel slightly tighter around his waist. "You finish dinner yet?"

"Yeah," Naruto walked back over to the desk to continue getting his equipment ready. "About an hour ago. I'm just getting all my shit ready for tomorrow. You?"

"Just walked in the door. I had dinner with the team an hour or so ago."

Naruto could hear the sound of a cupboard door closing and water running, and could easily imagine Sasuke standing in their kitchen getting himself a glass of water. Only it wasn't _their_ kitchen anymore. It was just Sasuke's now.

"You have more work to do tonight?" Naruto asked, though he already knew the answer would be 'yes'. It was only nine. Sasuke almost never finished work before eleven or so on Monday.

"No. I'm done. I was thinking about watching Deadpool."

"Really?" Naruto flinched at the clear disbelief in his own voice.

Sasuke chuckled, and the sound of it made Naruto's toes dig into the hard carpet of the hotel floor.

"What? You said I should watch it." Sasuke's voice sounded amused.

Naruto snorted out a laugh, trying to keep his mind focused on Sasuke's words, not the deep, slightly teasing timbre of his voice. It brought back too many memories that Naruto needed to avoid until he got his 'friendship' headset fully on. "You usually don't take movie advice from me."

"Hn. Itachi watched it. He liked it, too. I'm curious to see what kind of movie could make you _both_ like it."

Naruto snickered as he plugged in his last battery to charge. "Yeah, well. It involves someone hunting down his enemy with total ruthlessness and killing everyone in his way with extreme precision. How does that not sound like something your brother would like?"

Naruto walked over to the bed, groaning as he flopped down on it and the muscles in his legs and lower back protested. "Ah, fuck."

There was a slight pause, then Sasuke asked. "You ok?"

Pink edged Naruto's cheekbones as he realized what the noise he made might have sounded like. "Yeah! I'm not doing anything... weird. I'm just sore as fuck from hauling my camera equipment up and down about a million flights of stairs today. I gotta tell you, taking pictures of weddings and birthdays was not this hard. I never thought photography would be the kind of job I needed to spend time at the gym for."

"Yeah, you looked… really fit." Sasuke cleared his throat. Naruto could hear a soft rustling through the phone, but he wasn't sure what it was. "But you like the work, right? I haven't seen all of your stuff, but… this is what you always used to talk about. Back in school. Traveling, all the different kinds of subjects you get to shoot. It's what you wanted."

"Yeah. _Fuck_ , yeah. I mean, I never dreamed I would get to go to some of the places I went to last summer… places I'd never even heard of."

"I saw the piece that your photos from that trip were featured in," Sasuke admitted. "They were good."

Naruto flushed at the thought of Sasuke still looking up his work even after they'd split. He rubbed his hand at the back of his neck, feeling pleased and nervous all at the same time. "I guess. Pretty different from some kid blowing out their birthday candles, anyway. But, hey! You're the one who's really been kicking ass and taking names. Gettin' written up in journals with all the stuff you've been doing. They called you a genius in at least two articles. I mean… obviously they got it all wrong, but Itachi's totally been bragging about it like crazy on Facebook. It's fucking cute to see, though, uh… no one dares tell him that to his face."

Naruto could hear Sasuke's huffed laugh, and he tried hard not to think about how Neji had been there to share in Sasuke's success when Naruto hadn't. It didn't matter. Sasuke had worked his ass off, and he deserved every ounce of recognition he was getting. God knows he wasn't going to get it from his parents. At least he had Itachi there for him.

"I'll be sure to tell him you said that," Sasuke said in a dry tone, but Naruto could hear the smile in his voice. It wasn't hard to visualize the small curve to Sasuke's lips. Naruto closed his eyes, trying to push the image out of his head. It was hard to know this man so well, and now be on the outside, trying to figure out where the boundaries were now as friends. He forced himself to make a joke, always his fallback when he didn't know how to handle a situation.

"Ugh. The last thing I need is Itachi having even _more_ reason to come after me," Naruto laughed, but there was a thread of nervousness in it that he couldn't quite hide. He hoped Sasuke wrote it up to the mention of Itachi. After all, it was no secret that Naruto both admired and feared Sasuke's older brother.

Sasuke snickered. "You never did tell me what he threatened you with the first time he met you."

"Yeah, well. Let's just say it was a very detailed discussion about all the ways he knew to remove a certain body part from my person if I screwed you over. He can be very… descriptive."

Sasuke laughed out-right at that. "Yeah, I grew up with him." Sasuke paused, then continued, his tone more cautious. "Itachi told me he talked to you after we broke up." Sasuke didn't come out and ask him directly, but there was definitely a question in the statement. "I told him to stay out of it, but Itachi has always felt my personal life was his business."

"He's your brother," Naruto said simply, though he couldn't quite hide the twinge of wistfulness in his voice. Sasuke's family had issues, but at least he had one. "He… wasn't happy with me, but…"

"He let you leave with all your parts," Sasuke finished.

Naruto chuckled somewhat nervously. "Yeah. Thank god."

There was a slightly awkward silence as the subject of their breakup came to the forefront. Naruto was tempted to just change the subject and move on in the hopes of keeping things casual and friendly, but he'd always been too direct to pull something like that off for long.

"He… um… pretty much told me I was an ass for leaving without talking to you," Naruto tossed out, not bothering to sugar-coat things. He was sure Itachi would have told Sasuke about it, anyway, and there were things Naruto wanted to say to Sasuke, even if it was all too late now to fix. "You know, since we'd been dating for six years and I knew full well you weren't the kind of person to let people in easily. So. Yeah."

"Naruto," Sasuke began, but Naruto cut him off.

"He was right, Sasuke. Look, I had thought about trying to talk to you about this after we broke up to… apologize, or whatever, but I didn't want to just piss you off more. I told him that I knew I screwed up. I wasn't fair about the way I ended it, and even if it was over and there was no way to fix it, I still should have given you the courtesy of at least talking about it. Hearing your side. I felt like shit about it, but I just… I didn't know what to do. And I had really thought you would be _relieved_ when I ended it, and I just..."

Naruto swallowed, waiting to hear what Sasuke would say, somehow glad it was on the phone so he didn't have to look at Sasuke's face and see the closed-off expression he was almost sure would have descended over it at Naruto's words.

"I wasn't relieved. I was blindsided," Sasuke said, but his tone held no anger. "So, yes. You should have talked to me before packing up your stuff. But -," Sasuke sighed. "... but it wouldn't have changed things. We were focused on different things and talking about it wasn't really going to change that. You were right, what you said at the time. You _had_ talked to me about it before, but I didn't get what you were saying, I guess. I didn't know -," Sasuke cut off.

Naruto scrubbed his hand over his face, the memory of that last night, the queasy, hollow way it had felt when it had finally ended the relationship that he had thought would finally give him the home he had been craving. Naruto wished Sasuke would finish his thought, but knew he wouldn't. He was surprised that Sasuke had said as much as he had.

"Itachi told me that part of the reason you worked so hard was because you were trying to take the pressure off me financially until I figured my shit out."

"That wasn't what you needed from me, though," Sasuke said, after a moment. "And we both know that wasn't the only reason I… did it that way."

"Maybe not. But… it _did_ help me. Sasuke," Naruto remembered back to that horrible night in their apartment.

 _"This isn't about my job, Sasuke. This hasn't been working for a long time! The only reason this is a surprise to you is because it hasn't been important enough to you for you to fucking notice!"_

 _"And you've always been the kind of person to just sit back silently and wait for someone to fucking notice you, right, Naruto? It's funny how you didn't decide to leave until you got a job to support yourself. I guess now that I'm not useful, you can find someone else." Sasuke had said._

 _"You can't really think that I -"_

 _"I don't know you at all, Naruto," Sasuke's voice was devoid of all emotion. "The person I thought I was dating wouldn't just give up without even trying to talk it out. What am I supposed to think? You walk practically the day you got that fucking job offer."_

"Sasuke, you have to know. I didn't break up with you just because I finally got a better job. I would never… I wouldn't…," Naruto couldn't seem to get any words to come out, but the anguish and sincerity in his voice was clear.

"Naruto. I know. I knew it then, too. I was just… I was so fucking pissed off."

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. About how it ended."

"You're not the only one who screwed it up, Naruto. It's not your fault that it got to that point." Sasuke's voice had regret that made Naruto's throat close. They had both been trying but it just… had fallen apart around them. No one had cheated or gambled the rent money away or anything else that Naruto would have thought would have had to happen for their relationship to crumble. But it had still just… ended.

Naruto thought back on what Itachi had said when Naruto had asked him directly what he thought went wrong.

 _"I think I underestimated the damage that both of you had come into the relationship carrying."_

The silence stretched, and Naruto suddenly wished he could see Sasuke's face to have some idea what he was thinking. He really hoped he hadn't ruined their attempt to make peace and try for friendship. He calmed down when he realized that Sasuke would have had no problem telling him to fuck off and hanging up on him if he wanted to. It was always one of the things that had made Naruto able to trust him, in a strange way. Sasuke would never front, for any reason.

Naruto searched for something to say, not wanting to end the conversation on this note.

"Yeah, anyway. Um. Anyway, I meant to tell you earlier, I hope I didn't get you in trouble at work texting you. I forgot that you can't get texts at work." Naruto bit his lip, hoping that Sasuke wasn't annoyed about that. He had seemed fine earlier, but in the past they had had some pretty major blow-outs over that issue, so he wanted to be sure he hadn't made any problems for Sasuke.

Sasuke hesitated, then accepted the change of topic. "It's fine. I don't have Kabuto reading over my shoulder anymore giving me shit for anything not work-related."

"Did you ever find out what that guy's deal was?" Naruto asked. He remembered that Sasuke had told him the guy was always on him, but Naruto never understood why. Sasuke was nothing if not a hard worker. What manager wouldn't want him on his team?

"He was an ass. And wanted to be the super-star in the division, but didn't have the horsepower to back it up."

"So you join, and you're smart as fuck and people started noticing you…" Naruto filled in the blanks.

"And Kabuto decided to try to take me down a peg. He was looking for anything he could use. He'd come up behind me, reading over my shoulder. Half the time it was to steal any ideas I was working on, to try to make it seem like they had come from him, but he would have been the first to report me to HR if I had been working on anything personal."

"Shit," Naruto blinked, suddenly extremely glad he didn't have an office job. "I had no idea the guy was that bad."

"I didn't really either at the time. It was more just that I knew he was always watching me, so I was careful. I didn't find out what he was trying to do until he threw me under the bus in a board meeting, asking me a bunch of questions in front of the CEO that he was sure I wouldn't be able to answer, trying to discredit me."

Naruto's stomach froze, even though he knew that Sasuke must have made it out ok if he had gotten promoted. "Fuck. What happened?"

"I answered his goddam questions. And got promoted above him."

Naruto laughed in delight at the dry, 'fuck you' tone in Sasuke's voice. As if he needed another reminder of all the things he found incredibly attractive about his ex. "Shit! Damn, I wish I could have seen that. When did that happen?"

There was a slight hesitation. "Just a little while after we broke up."

Naruto's grin faded. Sasuke had gone through that alone. All of the stress that Sasuke had been under suddenly made a lot more sense. His boss had basically been trying to get him fired, or at least discredited. No wonder he had been working his ass off.

"Shit, man." Naruto didn't know what to say. He thought about how hard it must have been for Sasuke to have had his personal life ripped up and still be fast enough on his feet in a high pressure situation like that to perform.

"I work with Kabuto's boss directly, now, and Kabuto has to submit reports to me on all the joint projects we do."

Naruto felt his smile returning, even if it wasn't as big as before. Sasuke had landed on his feet. It was ok. Some of the guilt that had been twisting through Naruto's stomach since the night he walked out seemed to dissipate.

"So... do you shaft him on his work, now?" Naruto asked.

"Of course not," Sasuke's tone was bored and just proper enough to make Naruto snicker. "I just delegate it to someone on my team."

Naruto could hear the smirk in Sasuke's voice and felt an answering one form on his own lips. "God, that must just make someone like Kabuto fucking _crazy_. That he's not even worth your time to screw over."

"Hn."

Naruto looked over at the hotel clock, noticing how late it had gotten. He sighed. "Shit, I have to get up early to get some dawn shots in."

"I'll should let you go."

"I guess," Naruto said on a yawn. "I'm gonna go crash. So… I can like… text you tomorrow or something at work, and it won't get you in trouble?"

"I don't have to spend as much time in the team room now, so I can take a text or call without the whole office hearing or looking over my shoulder."

"Cool. And… um… congrats. On the promotion and all that. I'm really glad that things are going well for you, Sasuke." Naruto hoped Sasuke could hear the sincerity in his voice. Whatever happened between them, he wanted Sasuke to do well.

There was a pause, then Sasuke said. "Thanks. You, too. Now get some sleep."

"Yeah. Talk to you tomorrow."

Naruto looked at his phone after the call had ended. He felt a combination of giddy, anxious and lonely, and it left his head spinning. He was too tired to sort it all out, but overall, he decided he felt good about the call. A lot of the guilt he had been carrying about the break-up had gone away after talking with Sasuke. He hoped Sasuke felt the same. As hard as it was going to be, he was glad that they were trying to repair their friendship.

He decided he would work extra hard to be a good friend to Sasuke, since he hadn't been able to be a good boyfriend in the end.

* * *

Sasuke glanced over at the TV. It was too late to watch a movie now. Maybe he would wait for Naruto to get back and they could watch it together. As annoying as Naruto could sometimes be about the movies he picked, he was actually fun to watch them with. Naruto's face was always so expressive, whether it was the big car chases or the romantic scenes or the 'shocking' parts, Naruto's face would always capture every emotion that he was feeling. Sasuke used to find watching Naruto more interesting than watching the actual movie.

He stood up, turning out the lights in his living room as he headed for the bedroom.

They had covered some pretty important ground on their call that night. It wasn't like everything was fixed, but Sasuke felt like they had at least addressed some of the things that had broken them apart, and acknowledged that they each had made mistakes. Sasuke had decided not to bring up Naruto's past on the phone, though. Given how sensitive Naruto was about it, that was a conversation that needed to be done in person.

The situation with Neji hadn't been fully addressed, but the fact that Naruto was talking to him - had seemed honestly _happy_ to hear Sasuke's voice when he'd called - told Sasuke that Naruto didn't really believe Sasuke had cheated. He might still have doubts about when Sasuke started to be attracted to Neji, and Sasuke knew he would have to deal with that, but at least it was at a point where they could talk without just ripping into each other.

As Sasuke got ready for bed, he realized that he was hopeful for the first time that things might be actually fixable. His job was in a different place now, and Naruto had his own career to keep him occupied. The things he'd learned about Naruto's past, and how Naruto now better understood what drove Sasuke would maybe help them from screwing up that way again.

Of course, that all depended on whether Naruto would be willing to give them another chance. And how serious he was about Gaara. Sasuke bit down on the surge of jealousy he felt when he thought about the sex club owner. He didn't know what the nature of their relationship really was. And right now, it didn't even matter. They were still trying to figure out if they could even be friends, first.

He ignored the errant thought that 'friends' was not the only thing he wanted from Naruto. It never had been.

* * *

"You look less annoyed today," Suigetsu studied Sasuke from over his laptop. He tilted his head to the side, sizing Sasuke up. "Not like 'I got laid last night' kind of relaxed, but definitely… less stressed."

Sasuke didn't bother looking up from his work. "If you're planning on asking me for an extension for your part of the project, the answer is 'no'."

"Karin, back me up on this," Suigetsu said, grabbing the mechanical pencil on his notebook and flinging it at her.

"Fuck off, Suigetsu." Karin caught the pencil and immediately sent it back twice as hard.

"Ow, bitch!" Suigetsu rubbed his head where the pencil had jabbed him.

"Stop annoying people. If Sasuke wants to talk about… whatever it is that defrosted at least one layer of ice off him, he'll let us know." Karin slid a sly glance over at Sasuke. "But I hope he's hot if he's taking Neji's place."

Sasuke snapped his laptop down. These were the days he was grateful had his own office he could go.

"You're both annoying."

* * *

Sasuke was immersed in evaluating a proposal for a new project his team was developing when his phone rang. Assuming it was work, he answered it without really looking at it, immediately going back to finishing the comment he was adding to the document as he spoke into the phone.

"Uchiha," his voice was terse and all business.

" _Um, hey, Sasuke? Am I... catching you at a bad time?"_

Sasuke was surprised to hear Naruto's voice. He quickly saved the document, glancing over to the door to his office to make sure it was fully closed.

"No. It's fine," Sasuke said, his voice thawing out as he leaned back in his chair.

" _Sorry. I know you don't like to be bugged at work -"_

"Naruto," Sasuke said, the nervous apology for Naruto's tone bringing home all the time in the past Sasuke had shut Naruto down for calling him at work. At the time, Sasuke had been so stressed out about trying to do well in his first real job and dealing with Kabuto as a boss that he hadn't really thought about how much of that he was bringing home. "It's fine. I'm glad you called."

" _Ok,"_ Naruto hesitated, and Sasuke realized not all of Naruto's nervousness was because he thought it might annoy Sasuke if he called him at work.

"Everything ok?"

" _Yeah. Cold as balls here and I have to climb like… five thousand stairs to get to the next temple I'm supposed to shoot, but it's good. Some of these places are totally amazing."_ Sasuke heard Naruto clear his throat. " _But, uh, the reason I'm calling is that Kiba called me this morning and told me he showed up at your house over the weekend. He said he went there to make peace and apologize for being an ass the other night, or something, but I wanted to check to make sure he wasn't bugging you. I had told him to leave you alone after the thing at the bar but…," Naruto sighed. "Kiba's listening skills aren't always so great. I know you guys never really clicked in the past and… I just… I hope he didn't give you a hard time."_

Sasuke snorted out a soft breath. "It's fine. He didn't come to give me a hard time. And at least this time he had the balls to tell you about it himself. We're good."

" _Really?"_ Naruto asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"Yes. I mean, we're not going to start setting up movie nights together, but it's fine. And he came when Itachi was visiting me. So that was entertaining."

There was a frozen moment of silence, then Naruto burst out laughing. " _Holy, shit. I would have paid money to see that."_

Sasuke could hear the sound of wind blowing across Naruto's phone.

" _Fuck, I've got to get going or my fingers are going to be too numb to take any photos. There's supposed to be freezing rain later today, so I better haul ass and get my equipment up there or I'll be stuck another day. Can I call you later and get the rest of the story?"_

"Call me when you get back to the hotel. I should be home by then."

" _Cool. Later!"_

Sasuke went back to his laptop, but before he continued on his report, he pulled up the weather report and checked the forecast for the city where Naruto had said he would be today. He grimaced, hoping Naruto had at least worn a decent jacket.

* * *

Sasuke was absolutely not starting to worry about Naruto while he stood in his kitchen, checking the weather again as he poured himself a cup of freshly brewed coffee at ten o'clock at night. Naruto hadn't given him a specific time he said he would call. If he had a lot of work to do, or decided to do night shots of any of the temples, Naruto might not even call at all.

The ringing of his phone had Sasuke immediately reaching for it.

"Hey. I was wondering if you'd gotten lost in a temple somewhere." Sasuke said, feeling much more relaxed than he had two minutes ago.

 _"_ _Nah. I'd just sweet talk some sexy priestess to showing me the way out. Actually, I got back a while ago, but I was so fucking cold I took a hot bath and fell asleep in the tub. Now my hands are all wrinkled and gross. But at least they're warm."_

Sasuke leaned back on the counter, rolling his eyes. "You're such a child. Can't even take a bath without almost drowning?"

" _Ah, fuck you. You try trekking around for eleven hours carrying fifty pounds of equipment on your back in freezing rain and then come bitch at me."_

"It only rained for about an hour where you were. Presumably, you were smart enough to get at least your equipment out of the rain and weren't just standing around in it to show how tough you were to sexy priestesses."

Naruto laughed, the sound of it warming Sasuke more than the coffee he was drinking. " _It's called water-proof gear, asshole. But, yeah. I was out of the rain for most of it. I only got a little wet. The wind was more of a problem, but the bath got rid of most of the chill. Now I just need to take a bottle of ibuprofen and sleep off the sore muscles."_

"Hn. Wrinkled hands and sore muscles. You're getting old, Uzumaki."

" _Just catching up. You always had the attitude of a cranky old man, anyway, Uchiha."_

Sasuke felt a breath of a laugh escape him at Naruto's jab.

 _"_ _Anyway, this trip won't leave me with any permanent damage."_

Sasuke paused. "Permanent damage? Did you get hurt on one of your other shoots?" Visions of Naruto falling off a cliff or getting bit in the leg by a tropical snake flashed through Sasuke's mind.

" _No. Nothing serious. I guess my tattoo was probably the most traumatic thing that happened to me, but that wasn't really an injury, even though it hurt like a bitch. If ever you decide to get ink done, I recommend sterile needles in a modern shop rather than going old school."_

"You… got a tattoo?"

" _Yeah. When I was in Samoa. I guess the place I went to was part of the tribal lore, and hiking there was part of their old rite of passage to manhood or something. When I came back, the guy who'd been my guide asked me if I wanted to get a traditional tattoo to commemorate it. I figured why not? Thank god he got me wasted before we started or I might not have been able to finish it. But it's cool. I'm glad I did it now."_

"Don't Samoan tattoos have special meanings?" Sasuke tried to remember what he knew about them, but it wasn't much.

" _Yeah. He asked me about my past, family history, that kind of stuff. They have all these geometric symbols that mean different things."_

Sasuke wanted to ask more about Naruto's tattoo, but he wasn't sure where the boundaries were on this. He googled Samoan tattoos, flinching as he saw the painful-looking comb that was used in traditional methods. "Shit. How long did it take to heal?"

"A couple of weeks. Luckily, Samoa was the second-to-last stop on that trip."

Sasuke's eyes scanned over images of body art which ranged from very small patch on an ankle or shoulder to some that covered someone's entire torso. Sasuke was suddenly intensely curious to know what Naruto's looked like. And where it was. He took a sip of his coffee trying to hold the question in.

" _Coffee or whiskey?_ " Naruto asked, evidently having heard Sasuke swallow.

Sasuke glanced down at his cup, blinking at the change of subject. "Coffee."

" _So… that means you had a busy day, but not a shitty one. You got a lot of work left to do tonight?"_

Sasuke felt an odd tightness in his chest at the simple observation. Who else would know him that well? Maybe Itachi.

"No, I finished up before dinner tonight, actually."

 _"_ _So why the coffee?"_

Sasuke shrugged, even though he knew Naruto couldn't see it. "Habit. And it's not like a single cup keeps me up anymore."

 _"_ _I never understood how something that smelled so good could taste so shitty,_ " Naruto chuckled. Sasuke breathed in, trying not to remember all the mornings they'd spent together, when Naruto had murmured the same words against his lips as he licked his way into Sasuke's mouth over breakfast. Naruto had always said he only like the taste of second-hand coffee, but wouldn't drink it on its own.

Naruto's voice snapped Sasuke out of his thoughts.

" _I seriously will never understand your love of that stuff. So, you gonna tell me what happened between Kiba and your brother over the weekend? Did you get it on video?"_

Sasuke told Naruto about Kiba's visit, chuckling at Naruto's obvious fascinated horror over the thought of how Itachi and Kiba would have gotten along. He told Naruto pretty much everything that had happened, but skimmed over the book referral Kiba had given him at the end, only saying that Kiba had been bragging about Naruto's work and told Sasuke to check it out. Not that he'd mentioned a specific book.

Naruto had gotten slightly nervous at that, though Sasuke couldn't tell if that was the man's normal inability to accept any praise about his work or the fact that Sasuke would see the book about Gaara if he looked into Naruto's recent projects. It wasn't like Naruto was hiding the fact he was seeing someone, but it wasn't something they had talked about, either. Not yet.

" _Are you working on a new project?"_ Naruto asked.

"Yeah, a couple of them. But I have team leads under me now who are driving the day-to-day. So even though I have more projects I'm managing, I don't have to work as late most days."

There was a slight pause. " _That's… that's great, Sasuke. I mean… I know you said it would settle down, but I'm really glad that you finally got there. So, what do you do with all your free time?"_

There was a tension in Naruto's voice that Sasuke wasn't sure how to read. "Still figuring that out. Catching up on reading and sleep. I spent the first couple of months getting rid of all the bullshit busywork that Kabuto used to have us do and figuring out how to streamline things. So I haven't had much time to get used to it. I was thinking about joining a gym. The one in our building is pretty shitty."

Naruto didn't say anything, so Sasuke continued. "What about you? After you finish exploiting holy sites, what's next?"

" _Not sure. Jiraiya has a few things he's thinking about having me do. Hopefully something indoors,"_ Naruto said. _"Or someplace warm and sunny."_

Sasuke could see Naruto's point, but he would be lying if he said the thought of Naruto heading out of the country for possibly months didn't make his stomach tighten. They talked for a bit more, but Naruto was clearly exhausted from being out in the elements all day. Sasuke hung up the phone, wishing Naruto's job had been in town, but knowing that - even if it had - he'd still be saying good night to a phone.

* * *

Sasuke pulled on his soft, cotton sleep pants and set his alarm. Fragments from his conversation with Naruto buzzed through his head. He could imagine Naruto walking up the cold, stone steps to some temple halfway up some mountain, the heavy pack of camera equipment on his back. Even with his legs and back aching, Sasuke had no doubt that Naruto had been smiling most of the day, his blue eyes alight with excitement and wonder at the places he was photographing.

Naruto had an energy that Sasuke had never found in anyone else. A strength of character to meet hardship straight on and laugh in its face. Sasuke had felt the absence of that energy, that positivity, keenly since Naruto left. Sasuke wished suddenly he had been there, watching Naruto work that day. He remembered the look of concentration Naruto would get in college when he was trying to figure out the right angle, the right light, the right depth of field to capture his subject. Many times, Sasuke had been the focus of Naruto's obsession, but not always.

Sasuke wanted to be there when Naruto came back from his shoot. He would have drawn Naruto a warm bath, not too hot since it would burn the chilled skin and made him drink some hot tea or cocoa.

Sasuke closed his eyes, letting himself sink into the daydream.

 _Naruto's skin would have been glistening, droplets of water beading up on the tan, smooth flesh. Naruto would look up at him, blue eyes dark with wicked humor. Sasuke would have smirked, then removed his own clothing slowly. Naruto's eyes would follow every movement with the same focus Naruto would have used while photographing the ancient, holy temples earlier in the day._

Sasuke felt his breath pick up speed and he shifted his legs slightly further apart beneath the sheets. No one had ever looked at him with the intensity Naruto did. Lots of people looked at Sasuke with desire, but it wasn't the same, couldn't compare with the way Naruto had studied every detail of him, both above the surface and below.

 _Sasuke would have slid into the tub behind Naruto, feeling the sharp contrast between the chilled skin of Naruto's back and the heat of the water._

Sasuke wondered where Naruto's tattoo was. Would it be on his shoulder? His chest? Sasuke felt his jaw clench as he thought about places further down it could be. Along the swell of Naruto's ass? Just below his hip bone?

With a low sound in his throat, Sasuke let his hand slid between his legs.

 _He imagined tracing his lips along the edge of Naruto's shoulder blade, sliding his hands down along the muscled breadth of Naruto's back to settle around the narrowed taper of his waist._

How much sharper and cleaner would those lines be after nearly a year of the kind of hard, physical work Naruto did now?

 _He could hear the sound of Naruto's voice, tired but relaxed. Happy. Sasuke would have dried him off, running the horrible orange towel over the planes of Naruto's back, sliding it down over the curve of his ass._

Sasuke pushed the elastic waistband of his pajamas down for better access.

 _He would slide the towel down the back of Naruto's thighs, his hands curving around one lean, hard-muscled leg as he slowly dried each one. Naruto had told Sasuke he was sore, so Sasuke would take him to his bed, pressing Naruto down onto his stomach while he took lotion from the nightstand, warming it in his hands._

 _He'd rub his hands up the back of Naruto's thighs, using the heels of his hands to get deep into the tense muscles, his thumbs dipping down along Naruto's inner thighs. He'd start low, just above the back of Naruto's knees, working slowly upward, feeling the tight muscles slowly give way. He could hear Naruto's low groan, imagined Naruto getting hard, flexing his hips so his shaft would push against the mattress beneath him. Sasuke would stay focused on the task at hand, not letting himself get distracted by Naruto's arousal as he worked out all the tension in Naruto's legs, slowly moving his hands upward. He imagined the feel of his hands on Naruto's skin as he reached the top of Naruto's thighs, how the hard curve of his ass would curve up, filling his palms perfectly, how Naruto would groan at both the relief of having the tension in the muscles relieved, but also knowing that Sasuke was watching him, wanting him…_

"Fuck!" Sasuke's body tightened as he came.

He lay back on the sheets of his bed, the silence of the room suddenly seeming loud against his senses as his breathing slowed. He had never thought of himself as the kind of person who needed someone else. He had grown up learning how to meet his own needs, to chart his own course.

He turned his head, looking at the side of the bed that used to belong to Naruto. Whatever uncertainty Sasuke had felt was gone. He wanted Naruto back. He knew it might not happen. It might be too late for anything other than friendship. But if he didn't get him back, it wasn't going to be because he didn't try.

He lay in bed, thinking about all the things that stood between him and Naruto at this point. Some he could control, some he couldn't. But the first thing that needed to be addressed was Neji. There would be no moving forward until Naruto believed him that there had been nothing there until months after they'd broken up. Kiba might be on Sasuke's side, now, but Naruto had always made his own decisions when it came to who he wanted to be with. Kiba's disapproval of Sasuke hadn't kept Naruto from dating him for six years, though Sasuke was sure it hadn't been easy. If Sasuke wanted to win Naruto back, he would have to focus on Naruto, not Kiba. But that was ok. Sasuke wasn't one to be intimidated by a challenge.

He went to the bathroom and cleaned himself up, then shot Naruto a quick text. The conversation about Neji wasn't one that could be had in a restaurant with people all around them. Plus, it would give him a chance to spend time with Naruto. Remind him of why they had been good together in the first place.

 _Deadpool when you get back? I'll cook._

He wasn't sure if Naruto would agree, but he wanted to at least try. They had agreed to meet for dinner before Naruto had left, and they both knew they had things to talk about.

 _Awesome. But nothing vegetarian. And warn me in advance if Itachi is going to be there. He had enough fun surprising Kiba._

Sasuke chuckled as he turned off the lights and lay down in bed. If Itachi tried to crash his evening with Naruto, Sasuke was going to put the knives in the kitchen to a new use.

* * *

 _To be continued…_


	25. Not a date, right?

**A/N:** Thank you so CapturedByNoodles and Niomalia for reading through/beta'ing this for me! Endings always take forever to write, so it helps to have people with me on it. Next chapter will also likely be a little more than two weeks, but who knows.

Speaking of which, it is **super annoying** when I leave a note telling people the next chapter will be late and then I have people leaving snippy anon comments or PMing me that "I am late" with the chapter. It makes writing fanfic so much less fun for me because it honestly just pisses me off. I might take a small break between this and the next long fanfic I write and focus on short stories and oneshots for a bit. Some authors only post long fics when they're mostly written, and I might try that just so I don't get these sort of annoyances anymore. We'll see. I write to de-stress, not deal with ANOTHER group of people who will yell at me when I miss a deadline (esp one that isn't even real).

* * *

 **Chapter 25 - Not a date, right?**

Sasuke had spent the last few days texting and talking with Naruto. They had stayed away from the topic of their break-up, both of them knowing that the things they had left to talk about were better discussed in person. So they'd talked about their work, what they had for lunch, whether or not Naruto would kick Sasuke's ass at basketball (which they agreed would need to be put to the test when he got back).

It was almost disconcerting how comfortable it was to talk with Naruto. Sasuke didn't like talking in general. He wasn't someone who made small talk or felt the need to fill empty silences with useless chatter, nor had he grown up in a household where anyone else did that. But with Naruto, even the dumbest stuff seemed suddenly interesting. It had been like this back when they were in college. Whether Naruto had been talking about some joke that could be made out of the way someone's name sounded or the way the rain looked when it was falling, there was just something about the way the blond would go all in on a topic that just seemed to draw everyone else in with him.

Sasuke had forgotten what it was like, how easy it had always been for Naruto draw him out of his shell, getting him pissed off or laughing out loud at something ridiculous or small. It made him feel… so much more alive. When had it stopped? Sasuke tried to remember. They had still talked the first few months of his work, but then he'd begun noticing Kabuto's disapproving glare whenever he talked to Naruto at the office. The projects had gotten harder, Sasuke kept getting more and more responsibility, coming home later and later…

He scrubbed his hands over his face. It had happened so gradually, he hadn't really even noticed that they were growing further and further apart until Naruto had just walked out. At the time, it had seemed totally out of the blue, but in reality, it hadn't been.

When he thought about how it felt now, to be talking so much with Naruto again, and compared it to how things had been before the break-up…

Naruto had been right.

Their relationship had ended long before Naruto had left him. And Sasuke had let it just slip away without even fucking _noticing._ The thought made him sick and furious with himself. He always prided himself on being smart. So where the fuck had his head been over the past two years? It wasn't that he wasn't proud of his success in his career, but it wasn't enough. His job couldn't be the only thing in his life. Sasuke hadn't realized how empty and lifeless his life had become until that moment.

And now Naruto was willing to be friends, but was dating someone else. Was Sasuke too late? Anxiety filled his stomach as he thought about seeing Naruto when he came back. What if Naruto was really over him? Naruto had always been pretty easy to read when it came to his feelings for Sasuke. If the attraction was gone, if all there was left was friendship, Sasuke would be able to tell. It was the first time in Sasuke's life he ever felt hatred for someone he hadn't even met. What the hell was Naruto doing dating a _sex club_ owner? He tried not to think about what it must be like between the two of them. All the experience Gaara had that Sasuke never had.

Sasuke straightened his tie and grabbed his jacket as he headed for the office, trying to get his mind focused on the day ahead rather than on the past.

* * *

Naruto heard his phone go off, and looked around the hotel room trying to find it. He'd been really trying to play with different kinds of lighting with his last shoot, so he'd been up late, early and everything in between. He followed the sound and finally found the device between the cushions of the small sofa in the hotel, where he'd fallen asleep the night before talking with Sasuke.

He saw the number on the screen and grinned. "Gaara!" he answered, realizing it had been several days since he'd heard from the man. Usually, it would have upset him, but he'd been distracted by Sasuke enough to not notice this time.

" _How is your latest going?"_

Naruto scrubbed his hand sleepily over his face. "Good. Fucking exhausting, but cool. How are things at the club? I… uh… tried you the other night, but I didn't want to bother you."

This was always the hard part for Naruto. He knew that they weren't exclusive. Gaara probably wouldn't mind if Naruto straight-up asked him if he'd slept with anyone else since they started seeing each other, but he knew himself well enough to know he wouldn't handle the answer particularly well.

Gaara seemed aware of this, too, as he paused slightly before responding. " _It's never a bother to hear from you, Naruto. I might not always be able to take your call, but you shouldn't feel uncomfortable about calling_."

"Right. Right, I know," Naruto said, pushing his fingers through his hair. "So, anyway, I got some really cool shots of some of the temples around here. It's really beautiful. Have you ever been here?"

" _Not for many years. Your job is interesting… one project has you shooting a sex club. The next has you visiting holy sites. You have a very diverse career_."

Naruto laughed at the dry tone in Gaara's voice. Gaara was a serious guy, but he didn't take _himself_ too seriously. It was one of the things Naruto liked best about him.

"True. I have to say, the monks and priestesses I've met haven't been nearly as fun to hang out with as you, though."

" _Hm. That's good to know. I suppose I should make up for your lack of entertainment when you get back. Are you stopping by on your way home?"_ Gaara's voice had pitched to a low rumble, causing heat to build in Naruto's stomach. He _had_ missed Gaara. But he'd promised Sasuke they would get together for dinner when he got back.

"I'm meeting up with a friend on Friday night, but that's usually a crazy night for you, anyway. How about I come up on Monday? Or you could come down, if you can some time take off."

There was a slight hesitation, and Naruto realized this was the first time since he started sleeping with Gaara that he'd turned down an offer to come see him.

" _Monday is fine. We'll figure out which city over the weekend."_

Gaara didn't ask who Naruto was meeting on Friday, and Naruto realized that Gaara was probably used to his lovers seeing other people. Of course, Naruto was getting together with Sasuke just as friends, but he realized that Gaara wouldn't be upset either way. The idea was unsettling, and Naruto felt almost hurt by it. He shook the feeling off, knowing he was being ridiculous. He certainly didn't _want_ to hurt Gaara. He'd never been the kind of person to try to get his lovers jealous on purpose.

"So what else is going on?" Naruto asked, forcing himself to not be weird about things.

There was another slight pause, but then Gaara replied. " _My shogi partner just got a job in the US. She'll be moving later this week. I don't suppose you play?"_

"Yeah, I know the basic rules, but I'm pretty sure you'd be bored to tears if we played. Strategy really isn't my thing."

 _"_ _I seriously doubt you'd be boring at anything you tried, Naruto."_

Naruto laughed. "Well, maybe I'd be comic relief, but not a challenge. But, hey! Actually, I have a friend who is _crazy_ good at pretty much any kind of strategy game. Smartest guy I know. If you come into town on Monday, I can introduce you." Naruto couldn't help but chuckle as he thought about what Shikamaru would say if he actually invited him over to meet Gaara.

 _"_ _Then we'll plan for Monday at your place."_ Gaara replied.

Naruto agreed, wondering why he felt slightly guilty for meeting up with Gaara after agreeing to have dinner with Sasuke. But it wasn't like Sasuke had asked him on a _date._ Sasuke just wanted to clear the air from all the shit that had happened at the end of their relationship so they could start fresh as friends.

It was all fine.

* * *

Sasuke drew a breath before knocking on the glass office door. Neji looked up from whatever work he'd been doing, his face blanking momentarily before he gestured with his hand for Sasuke to come in.

"Sasuke. Trouble with the new team?" Neji asked, perfectly polite and businesslike. They'd both been promoted, and - despite the ongoing collaboration between their two companies - they no longer worked directly together.

"No. Everything's fine. I had a meeting with the board here today, and I thought I'd see if you wanted to grab a coffee. If you're busy, I can just head out." Sasuke gave Neji an easy out. If the man didn't want to talk to him outside of required meetings, Sasuke would understand.

Neji held his gaze for a minute, then picked up his phone. "Push my one o'clock back by half an hour."

He stood, taking his designer jacket off the mahogany coat rack in the corner and pulling it on. "You're buying."

Sasuke's lips curved, and he felt a weight in his chest lift slight.

There was a decent coffee shop in the cafeteria of the building, but Neji led them to a smaller cafe a few blocks down the street. Sasuke ordered them two black coffees while Neji found them a table.

"So," Neji said, taking a small sip of the coffee Sasuke had handed him. "I am going to assume you are not here to tell me that breaking up with me was the biggest mistake you ever made and you want to start seeing each other again."

Sasuke glanced down at his own coffee, aware that - while Neji was jesting - there was a truth to the underlying wish held within the words.

"Neji, I owe you an explanation."

Neji arched a brow, but said nothing.

"When we started… dating, I had just gotten out of a six year relationship. My only relationship."

Neji took a sip of his coffee before replying. "It had been several months. But yes, I was aware."

"I thought, at the time, that I was over him."

"But you weren't," Neji finished. "You're back together with him, then?"

Sasuke's lips twisted ruefully. "He's seeing someone else."

"Ouch," Neji said, and Sasuke could tell that the man actually meant it, regardless of whatever bitterness he might be carrying from their break-up.

Sasuke's left hand was resting on the table, and he lifted his fingers slightly in dismissal of the sympathy he knew he didn't deserve. "Even though you had said our relationship was going to be temporary, I would never have agreed to it if I had realized… that things weren't resolved for me."

For the first time since their break-up, amusement and warmth lit Neji's eyes. "So you're human after all, then."

Sasuke breathed out a small self-depreciating laugh. "Evidently."

There was a slight pause before Neji set his cup down. "My family introduced me to my fiancé last week."

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he searched his friend's face for whether this was as troubling to him as it would have been if Sasuke had been in his shoes. Neji's face seemed completely calm.

"Her name is TenTen. She is… not what I'd expected."

Sasuke considered his words carefully before asking. "In what way?"

Neji smiled slightly. "She's… actually tolerable. And more than happy to find that I was not over sixty and balding, despite my other drawbacks."

"Congratulations?" Sasuke said, realizing he would never understand what it would be like to come from a family like Neji's, to have his major life decisions made by someone else to increase the family's power and wealth.

Neji's smile widened. "You'll understand if you are not invited to the wedding."

"I'm sure I couldn't have afforded the suit that would have been required," Sasuke said drily, his hand gesturing at Neji's clothing.

"That's what rentals are for, Uchiha."

* * *

Sasuke looked at the clock. Naruto would be there in less than half an hour. He wondered if he should start dinner before Naruto arrived, or if they would cook together like they used to. Sasuke had no illusions that this evening wasn't going to be tense. Naruto had agreed to come to Sasuke's place mainly because they had things to talk about that really couldn't be talked about in public. Starting with Sasuke's relationship with Neji.

Sasuke also knew that conversation wasn't exactly his strength, especially about anything personal. Put him in the room with a bunch of tech investors and ask him to talk about the latest innovation he was working on, and he was fine. But _this_ sort of thing...

"Fuck." He raked his hand through his hair. He hoped he didn't screw it up worse than it already was. The only thing that made him feel somewhat less panicked was that Naruto was fully aware of how bad Sasuke was at this. Hopefully the man would give him at least partial credit for trying if it all went to hell.

Sasuke really didn't have any experience with trying to win someone over, either as friends or lovers. Before Naruto, it had only been a few one-night-stands as he figured out his sexuality, none of which he had to do anything for except make eye contact, and they were willing to do pretty much whatever he wanted. He'd never had to exert any effort. With Naruto, they hadn't really dated so much as just… collided. They went from hating each other to sleeping together in a single day.

The mental images the memories evoked had Sasuke forcibly reminding himself that there was basically zero probability of Naruto ending up in his bed after dinner. Given that Naruto was currently seeing someone else, Sasuke knew that the best case scenario would be if they could navigate through some of the shit they'd put each other through enough to form some sort of friendship. They had skipped that step the first time around, but it was clear it would be necessary now.

He wondered if he would be able to handle it if all Naruto ended up wanting from him in the end was friendship. It wasn't something he'd experienced before… the uncertain feeling of not knowing if someone wanted more. He thought briefly back to his relationship with Neji, and wondered if the man had felt the same thing when he'd asked Sasuke out… unsure if Sasuke would ever want him back. It made him feel slightly guilty, and he was glad he didn't believe in fate or he would be worried that Karma was going to take pleasure in teaching him a lesson.

Was Naruto really over him?

Sasuke thought back to the night he'd met up with Naruto at the coffee shop. Naruto's gaze had skimmed over him when he'd taken his jacket off before snapping back to Sasuke's face, but that didn't really mean anything. It could simply have been Naruto recognizing the sweater, but nothing more. Sasuke had never worried about his own physical attractiveness. If anything, it had been an annoyance, with so many people fixated on obsessing over his looks. But with Naruto, Sasuke knew that his looks wouldn't be enough to sway him either way. It wasn't that Naruto didn't _notice_ Sasuke's appearance. The blond had made it more than clear on many occasions just what Sasuke did to him. But Sasuke knew for a fact that it wasn't his looks that Naruto was drawn to. Just because Naruto found him attractive didn't mean anything would ever come of it, unless they fixed their other issues.

He glared at the fridge, then finally settled on a compromise of chopping the meat and vegetables he was going to need for dinner, but not actually cooking it until Naruto arrived. Sasuke reminded himself for the millionth time that this wasn't a _date_. In fact, there was a high chance that it would end with Naruto storming out and never speaking with him again.

Sasuke looked at the recipe for ramen sitting on the counter, and he wondered if preparing something that would cause third degree burns if thrown was really a good idea after all.

"Shit," he muttered, pulling out the grater and shredding the ginger. He wasn't sure if he was cursing the tenuous nature of his relationship with Naruto or Sasuke's clear inability to know how to handle it.

Probably both.

His phone buzzed, and Sasuke picked it up to see a text from Naruto.

 _Be there in 10_

* * *

Naruto walked up the steps of his old apartment building. He realized he had been avoiding this part of town since the break-up. He felt a little numb as he pushed the button of the elevator, images flickering through his mind.

 _Sasuke pinning him against the smooth, shiny wall of the elevator, kissing him desperately as they fumbled with the fastenings of each other's jeans, hoping no one got on the elevator with them._

 _Naruto alone in the elevator, storming out to go get coffee when Sasuke had been too caught up in work to even notice Naruto had gotten one of the most significant phone calls of his life._

 _Carrying the last garbage bag of his things out to his car, the key to the apartment left behind with Sasuke._

The elevator chimed, signaling he'd reached his floor. Naruto slowly walked down the corridor, everything disconcertingly familiar. He wondered if it had been a good idea, coming to Sasuke's place. He knew that they had things to talk about that couldn't be talked about on the phone or in public. But - in retrospect - Naruto wished he'd had Sasuke come over to his new apartment instead. There were just… too many memories. And the good ones hurt just as much as the bad.

He paused at the door. The key to the apartment no longer was on his key ring, so he drew a breath and knocked, hoping he didn't look as tense as he felt.

* * *

Sasuke heard the knock on his door just after he'd finished washing his hands. He wiped them dry on the kitchen towel then walked over to open the door, his stomach tight with nerves.

Naruto stood in the entryway, one hand scrubbing the back of his head while he shifted his feet. Sasuke's gaze took in the slightly strained look in Naruto's eyes as his gaze slid around their old apartment. It felt strange to have him back in the home they used to share, the space immediately seeming to breathe back to life.

"Hey," Naruto said. "I, uh, brought some beer. For the movie. Or dinner." He handed Sasuke a six-pack. Naruto usually brought beer to Kiba or Shikamaru's place when they had a movie night with the guys, and Sasuke realized Naruto was trying to signal that here. Wine was for dates. Beer was for friends.

"Thanks." Sasuke accepted the drinks and walked to the kitchen to put them in the fridge while Naruto removed his shoes and jacket. Sasuke noted he was dressed casually, with comfortable jeans and a long-sleeved, grey T-shirt. Sasuke felt slightly over-dressed in his black jeans and dark blue button-down.

Naruto followed him, looked at the piles of neatly cut vegetables and meat. "What can I do to help?" His eyes landed on the package of rice noodles, then widened. "Ramen? Awesome!"

"Hn." Sasuke's lips twitched, and some of the awkwardness left the air.

Naruto grabbed the recipe card that was on the counter, skimming over it while Sasuke got out a pan. "Man, I haven't made ramen in forever."

Sasuke quirked a brow. "I thought that you'd cook it every day when you had the choice."

Naruto shrugged, his face looking tense again. "Yeah, I mean… it's a lot of work for just one person, so…"

Sasuke's jaw tensed, frustrated that even simple conversations were evidently beyond him. He had never been good at small talk, but there were landmines everywhere. The ginger and garlic wasn't as brown as he would like, but he added the meat anyway, setting it to cook. If Sasuke was going to screw it up by talking, he might as well talk about things that actually mattered.

"Naruto," Sasuke turned to face him. "You have to know that nothing happened between Neji and me while you and I were together. He was just someone I worked with."

Naruto's face was tense, but there was no mistaking the uncertainty and insecurity in his expression. Sasuke's fingers clenched and flexed as though trying to make up for the fact that his mouth wasn't able to find the right way to solve this problem.

"He didn't even ask me out until four months after you'd moved out." Sasuke raked his hand through his hair, remembering back. "Our project had ended, so we were no longer working together. Neji had gone back to his company. One day, he showed up at my office and asked me to dinner. I thought there was some problem with the project or the paperwork, and -"

He cut off as Naruto erupted with disbelieving laughter. "Seriously, Sasuke? Shit. I almost feel bad for the guy."

Sasuke breathed out, a slightly self-mocking look on his face as he added the water to the pot. "Neji was… somewhat exasperated that he had to spell it out for me." Sasuke's expression turned serious again. "But my point is that I really hadn't even considered it before then. Whatever you want to say about the other things I did wrong in our relationship, I never cheated, Naruto. You know me well enough to know I wouldn't bother. And I sure as hell wouldn't lie about it now."

Naruto met his gaze, his eyes searching Sasuke's face for something Sasuke could only hope he found there. Slowly, Naruto nodded.

"Ok. I guess… that makes sense. You wouldn't have wanted to fuck things up at work by being caught in some office thing."

"Naruto," Sasuke's voice sharpened. "It wasn't like that. I wasn't just waiting around for the project to finish to make a move."

"But Neji was."

Sasuke paused, knowing it was likely true. Neji hadn't known Sasuke was seeing anyone until the day Naruto had gone to get him at the restaurant when his phone had been off.

"He might have been. But I wasn't."

The sound of water boiling over from the pot caused both their heads to snap up and look over.

"Fuck!" Sasuke grabbed the lid, lifting it off the pot as he turned down the heat.

Naruto looked over at the vegetables. "Which of these are we supposed to add now?"

Sasuke grabbed a pair of glasses from the counter as he picked up the recipe card, putting them on as he read it.

"Everything but the carrot slivers and cilantro. We put the noodles in now, too."

He looked up to find Naruto staring at him.

Naruto pulled his lower lip between his teeth, then abruptly turned back to the stove, concealing the slight flush that etched along his cheekbones. "You got glasses?"

Sasuke realized that Naruto hadn't seen him with them on before. He'd only had them a month or two, and really only needed them for reading.

"Yeah. I was getting headaches. Neji -" Sasuke saw Naruto's shoulders tense, but continued. "- suggested I get my eyes checked out. Itachi was about the same age when he got glasses."

Naruto continued to stir the pot for a moment without speaking. Then he said, "How did Neji handle Itachi in 'big brother' mode?"

Sasuke shrugged, taking the small batch of cilantro leaves and tossing them in the soup. "He never met him."

Naruto looked sharply over to Sasuke, but Sasuke didn't elaborate. Itachi hadn't left Sasuke much choice about meeting Naruto within basically a couple of weeks of their dating, but Sasuke had been fine with it. In truth, Sasuke had wanted it, though he was careful not to admit it at the time. Or ever. Itachi was already unbearable enough without the knowledge that Sasuke actually had wanted him to approve of Naruto.

"Oh. So… they stopped the headaches, then? The glasses?"

"Hn," Sasuke said, skimming the recipe to make sure they hadn't forgotten anything, and missing the way Naruto's eyes had darkened as they took in how Sasuke looked in his glasses.

"They, um… look good. I mean, professional and all," Naruto said, quickly, taking the empty cutting board over to the sink and rinsing it off.

Sasuke put his glasses back on the table and walked over to stir the noodles.

"So… you never introduced him to Itachi?"

"It wasn't that serious. Neji's family was arranging a marriage for him."

"Oh," Naruto said, looking down. "That must have been hard."

Sasuke arched a brow. "Because he's gay?"

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. "No, just… that… I mean… you two have a lot in common and it just seemed…"

"I broke up with him before they picked out his bride."

"Still," Naruto said.

"It wasn't because he was going to marry someone else."

"Really?"

Sasuke didn't answer for a moment. "It just wasn't what I wanted. We were better as co-workers. We're working on being friends now."

"Like us," Naruto murmured, but his brows were still drawn together in a frown. Sasuke fought the urge to say that his relationship with Neji was _nothing_ like the one he had with Naruto. "But…" Naruto bit his lip, cutting himself off.

"What?" Sasuke asked, turning to face him. Naruto looked like he was struggling to say whatever it was he was trying to force out.

"It's just… I guess I'm still surprised that you wanted to end it. Neji just seemed like the kind of guy you would be happy with. With everything you had in common and just… suck that it couldn't work out." The words might have been hard for Naruto to say, but they were sincere. Despite how things had ended, Naruto wanted Sasuke to be happy.

Sasuke looked at Naruto directly. "Neji and I have a lot in common. And it makes us great work partners. It wouldn't have worked for anything more than that, even if his family wasn't pushing him to marry." Sasuke would have said more, but the reality of Naruto currently having a boyfriend made Sasuke hold back. Things were not fully resolved between him and Naruto. Telling Naruto he wanted another chance at this point would likely only make Naruto uncomfortable. One thing Sasuke knew for sure was that Naruto would never cheat. Which meant that he would have to be sure he had a reasonable chance of winning Naruto back before he told Naruto how he felt, or Naruto would stop seeing him even as a friend.

The room stilled, as both men looked at each other, Naruto seeming to be searching Sasuke's face for something, though Sasuke wasn't sure what he was looking for.

The timer went off, signaling the noodles were done.

As they brought the food over to the table, Sasuke glanced over at Naruto. "So, what about you?"

Naruto looked over at him. "What?"

"Are you seeing anyone?" Sasuke's voice was carefully casual.

Naruto tensed. "Yeah, I…," he paused, appearing to be searching for the right words. "There's a guy I met through work."

Sasuke forced his face to remain expressionless as he sat across from Naruto, watching the blond stir his ramen while they waited for it to cool. Naruto's description seemed… vague. Maybe things weren't as serious as Sasuke had thought, though he really couldn't see Naruto in a casual relationship for very long.

Naruto had always wanted stability. Roots. Family.

"He owns a club I was shooting. He doesn't live in town, but we see each other when I'm between shoots or he can take a day off from the club."

"Gaara," Sasuke said, watching as Naruto's eyes widened in surprise at Sasuke's knowledge of the name. "He was the owner of the club of the book that just came out."

"Right. Yeah, Gaara," Naruto looked slightly uncomfortable, but Sasuke wasn't sure if it was due to the mention of the man's occupation or the fact that Naruto was just uncomfortable discussing the new boyfriend with the old one. "I guess Kiba told you about him?"

"I knew you were seeing someone before Kiba came over here. I saw you on your way out, remember?" Sasuke took a bite of his food, then swallowed, deciding he didn't want to talk about the hickies he'd seen on Naruto at the coffee shop. "But I could tell it was him when I saw your photos of him in the book."

Naruto's eyebrows shot up. "Most of the pictures in the book weren't of Gaara."

A trace of a smile touched Sasuke's lip. "I remember what it was like to be the focus of your work, Naruto. You drew him out the same way."

Naruto looked down, his thumb moving over the bottle of beer, wiping at the condensation. "Yeah. I guess so. Gaara said sort of the same thing when he saw the photos I'd taken of you."

Sasuke stilled, and Naruto was quick to clarify. "Just the ones in my portfolio. Obviously, I mean… just those."

They ate a bit in silence.

"Your pictures were good, though. In the book," Sasuke said.

Naruto quickly swallowed. "Thanks. It was actually sort of a cool project. At first I was a little unsure about it. I didn't want to just shoot a bunch of porn, even though Kiba thought that would be the best idea ever. But then I found out more about what the book was actually about, and I decided to do it."

Sasuke arched a brow at him in question, though he had read the book and knew what Naruto was getting at.

"Things are starting to change a bit in the gay community. The book was supposed to be part of it, though it was a risk for Gaara to allow so much publicity for his place. But there's more acceptance now, at least in places. Gay marriage isn't illegal anymore in a lot of cities in Japan," Naruto started.

"It isn't legal, either. They just decriminalized it in a few cities. There's still a long way to go."

"I know. That was why Gaara allowed the book. He wanted to make it… less taboo. Less something that needs to be kept hidden. Sex clubs are pretty much mainstream in Tokyo."

"Not the gay ones."

"Exactly. No one wants to talk about those. But this book does."

Sasuke looked at the obvious excitement and admiration in Naruto's expression as he spoke about the man. He felt the food he'd been eating settle uncomfortably in his stomach.

They finished dinner and began clearing the dirty dishes away.

"It's good that you're excited about your work," Sasuke said truthfully, hoping he kept the bitterness out of his voice.

Naruto laughed and grimaced self-consciously. "Yeah. I guess it's a lot better than all those stupid birthday parties I always used to shoot."

Sasuke flinched imperceptibly as memories of all the fights they had about Naruto 'wasting his talent' on small time jobs. At the time, he hadn't understood that Naruto was just prioritizing Sasuke over his job, rather than simply having no ambition. While it was true that Naruto hadn't made it clear what he was doing, Sasuke also hadn't been open to hearing it. They had both been focused on opposite things back then. Sasuke knew he needed to undo some of the damage he'd done in the past.

"Jiraiya was able to see things in even the birthday and wedding photos," Sasuke stated.

Naruto focused on pouring detergent in the dishwasher despite the fact that it wasn't even half full.

"Look, Naruto, I…," Sasuke began, but Naruto cut him off.

"Don't. Sasuke, I know that you were frustrated with some of the choices I made. We both know I basically lucked into the job I have now."

"It wasn't just luck, Naruto. If you didn't have the skill, Jiraiya would never have hired you. Yes, I was frustrated with you. You didn't talk to me about any of the decisions you were making. Especially the job you gave up. But that doesn't mean you aren't damn good at what you do."

"Yeah, like you're one to talk about not communicating," Naruto countered, but there wasn't really any anger left in it. Mostly resignation, and that hit Sasuke even harder than Naruto's anger would have. "You were never even home to talk about stuff."

"I was in the beginning. I talked to you. Shit, I must have bored the fuck out of you with everything I was saying about my job and what was going on and what I was trying to do," Sasuke looked over to the corner of the kitchen, then back at Naruto.

"No, I wasn't bored -"

"You told me all I did was talk about work. You were probably right, but I'd been working my whole life to finally stand on my own and see if I really was worth anything. I had a boss riding me and I didn't know how to handle it. Obviously, I didn't handle it well when it came to our relationship. But you didn't even tell me _big_ stuff. Like about that job you turned down. We should have talked about it, Naruto."

"I… know." Naruto sighed, leaning forward, bracing his hands on the counter and looking down at it. "I just… talking wasn't going to change the outcome. I knew what I wanted."

Sasuke felt his chest tighten at Naruto's unspoken words. _I wanted you_. It was exactly the opposite of what Sasuke had accused Naruto of at the end, the night they'd broken up.

 _'_ _This isn't about my job, Sasuke. This hasn't been working for a long time! The only reason this is a surprise to you is because it hasn't been important enough to you for you to fucking notice!'_

 _'_ _And you've always been the kind of person to just sit back silently and wait for someone to fucking notice you, right, Naruto? It's funny how you didn't decide to leave until you got a job to support yourself. I guess now that I'm not useful, you can find someone else.'_

 _'_ _You can't really think that I -' Naruto's voice choked off, and Sasuke had to look away. He could not look at Naruto anymore. The betrayal of everything was so overwhelming that he didn't know what he would do if Naruto came too close to him right now._

 _'_ _I don't know you at all, Naruto. The person I thought I was dating wouldn't just give up without even trying to talk it out. What am I supposed to think? You walk practically the day you got that fucking job offer.'_

They had read each other so completely wrong back then. Naruto lifted his head up, looking over at Sasuke. The remembered hurt as clear in Naruto's eyes as Sasuke was sure was in his own.

"So, we gonna watch this movie, or are you going to pussy out and spend the rest of the night reading differential equations or some shit?" Naruto asked, a forced grin on his face. He was willing to try to move past things. At this point, that was all Sasuke could ask for.

Sasuke met his gaze for a moment, then nodded. It would take a while to repair things. Watching a movie was as good a place as any to start.

Naruto headed to the bathroom while Sasuke pulled the movie up. Sasuke was on his way back from the kitchen carrying two of the beers Naruto had brought when he heard the buzz of an incoming text. Naruto's phone was sitting on the table right in front of him, a text message glowing on the screen. Sasuke wished he hadn't been close enough to read what it said.

 _From Gaara: Still on for Monday night 'entertainment'? I should be to your place by 8. I have someone opening for me Tuesday as well._

Sasuke walked past it, not wanting to think about what kind of date Naruto was going to have with the sex club owner in his apartment, or the fact that it was going to be a two day event. He clenched his jaw, but there was nothing he could do about any of it.

"Hey, Sasuke. Movie up?" Naruto asked coming out of the bathroom. "Don't fast-forward through anything. You have to see it from the very beginning."

Sasuke watched from the corner of his eye as Naruto picked up his phone and checked his messages. He couldn't help the small satisfaction he took at the fact that Naruto didn't text Gaara back, but instead came and sat with Sasuke to watch the movie.

* * *

Naruto didn't know why seeing the text from Gaara made him feel guilty. Gaara wouldn't care, and this wasn't a date with Sasuke. He wasn't doing anything wrong. He decided he'd text him back later, once he was home and he was feeling less confused. The apartment was almost exactly how Naruto had left it so many months ago. The spaces on the wall where his photos had hung were still bare. The book shelves had filled in somewhat, but the shelf that Naruto had stored his camera equipment was still empty.

The bathroom had only a single black towel, perfectly folded.

To cover up his emotions, Naruto sprawled in the corner of the couch, looking over at Sasuke with a grin as he pushed play. He hoped the movie would settle his head, give him space to get his emotional footing.

The film opened with a quick flick through the comic and a nod to Marvel. Sasuke rolled his eyes at Naruto's clear anticipation. They both looked back at the screen as the opening credits started to roll:

 _Some Douchebag's Film..._

 _Starring some Hot Chick..._

 _Directed by an Overpaid Tool…_

 _Produced by Asshats…._

Sasuke's lips curved in sardonic amusement, and he could see what Itachi might have liked about this already.

Naruto's grin widened. "See? It's a movie even assholes can love. Just ask Itachi," Naruto commented, mirroring Sasuke's own thoughts about his brother.

"Hn," Sasuke looked away from the screen, his eyes locking briefly with Naruto's.

Naruto turned his face back to the screen as a car chase and acrobatic mayhem of dead bodies, wedgies and counting bullets ensued. He could feel Sasuke's eyes lingering on him, but he forced himself not to turn and look. Things were messed up enough without Sasuke picking up on the not-so-latent attraction that Naruto still felt for him. Sasuke seemed to be trying to turn his exes into friends, and Naruto didn't want to screw that up by acting like he was still hung up on Sasuke.

Naruto laughed at the implausible, over-the-top violence losing himself in the movie. He reached for his beer, taking a drink. When he glanced over to see if Sasuke was enjoying himself, he found Sasuke's eyes focused on his mouth, which was wrapped around the glass neck of the bottle.

Naruto felt his body seize as he caught what, at first, he thought was a flicker of desire in Sasuke's dark eyes. But when he blinked it was gone and Sasuke was back watching Deadpool blow up a sci-fi laboratory. Naruto tried to do the same, hoping the movie would distract him from the growing awareness of Sasuke sitting next to him. An entire couch cushion separated their bodies. Naruto's fingers splayed on the leather of the empty space between them. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the way the dark denim of Sasuke's jeans hugged his firm thigh, and tried not to react to it.

Naruto forced himself not to think of how many time he'd slid from the couch to kneel between Sasuke's thighs, how the pale fingers dig into the leather, the way Sasuke's head would fall back, the cords in his neck standing out when Naruto would -

No.

Naruto drew a shuddering breath. He was just getting caught up in memories because it had been so long since he'd been in the apartment, and he'd missed Sasuke. It was messing with his head, but he could do this. He could handle being friends. Sasuke was more than just his sex appeal. Naruto was _not_ going to ruin things by being like every other asshole who just wanted to get into Sasuke's pants. He was better than that. They both were.

The movie ended, and Naruto was torn between relief and disappointment that the evening was over. He stood, collecting their beer bottles.

"So? What did you think? Awesome, right?" Naruto asked over his shoulder as he took the bottles to the kitchen to put in the recycling bin.

"Hn. It was ok," Sasuke allowed, amusement in his tone at Naruto's squawk of indignation.

"What?! ' _Ok_ ' my ass. That movie is awesome."

Naruto looked up to see Sasuke leaning against the counter, smirking at him. The sight pulled at him in a way he tried to not think about.

"You starting a new project this week?" Sasuke asked casually. "Or do you have more temples to shoot."

"I fly out on Friday for a shoot, but just for two days. After this, Jiraiya says he wants me to do some sort of geology piece. I think I'm going to sign up for a few rock climbing classes before then. Knowing him, he'll have me trying to get a picture of some pebble on top of Mt. Freaking Everest, or in some brothel's wishing well."

Sasuke breathed out a chuckle, then tilted his head slightly to the side. "If you're serious about the rock climbing classes, I'd be willing to try it, too."

Naruto blinked. "Really? Would you have time?"

Sasuke gave a small shrug. "Like I said, I have a lot more control over my schedule now that I don't report to Kabuto. One or two classes a week would be fine."

"Sure! That would be awesome. Then at least I know I'll be better than at least one person in the class." Naruto grinned at Sasuke.

"Fuck you."

"Office boy. You've probably gone soft."

Sasuke's eyes seemed to darken for a moment, but then he just shrugged again. "We'll see about that."

"I'll set up our first class for this weekend."

Naruto put on his shoes and jacket, feeling the weight of Sasuke's gaze on him as he did. He hadn't so much as shaken Sasuke's hand the entire evening, but his body was practically vibrating in awareness of Sasuke's presence so close to him. He wondered if Sasuke had this effect on everyone, or if it was just something in the way Naruto was wired, like a lightning rod of awareness for this one man.

He finished zipping up his coat, and shifted somewhat awkwardly as he realized it was time to leave.

"Um, thanks. For having me over and… talking about… everything."

Sasuke shrugged from where he was leaning against the wall by the coat rack. "We needed to clear the air. And the movie wasn't as horrible as your usual picks."

"Hey!" Naruto laughed in mock anger.

"So. Rock climbing?" Sasuke asked.

"Definitely. I'll text you later."

Sasuke nodded as Naruto left, closing the door behind him. Naruto leaned his head against the door briefly, the hallway dim and silent with the lateness of the hour. He'd had a good time with Sasuke, even if it had just been cooking dinner and watching a move he'd already seen.

Any doubts that Naruto had had about Sasuke having feelings for Neji before they broke up had been put to rest. Whatever Sasuke was, he wasn't a liar. Naruto headed for home, feeling lighter than he had in months.

* * *

Sasuke looked around his empty apartment, the stillness of it standing out in sharp contrast to the way it had felt when Naruto was there. The evening had gone better than he had expected, given that neither of them was particularly great at talking about things.

And Sasuke had noticed that Naruto had never called Gaara his boyfriend. If he had met Gaara on the book project, then they hadn't been seeing each other that long, which gave Sasuke some hope. Plus, Gaara lived out of town. Sasuke decided he was going to take full advantage of the fact that he lived closer.

Starting with rock climbing.

* * *

 _To be continued..._

 **A/N:** \- Next chapter will involve time skips and may or may not be the final, FINAL chapter in this fic, depending on how a few things play out. We may need an epilogue, but I'm not sure.


	26. The grey zone btwn friends & lovers

**Summary:** Sometimes small annoyances can overshadow the reason people fell in love in the first place. Sasuke slowly realizes that he might have let something irreplaceable slip away without a fight. Not a cheating fic! YAOI (boy x boy) main pairing: SasuNaruSasu, some SasuNeji, some GaaNaruGaa, Naruto x other

 **PLEASE READ! This is only the first half of the final chapter,** despite being over 8k words long. I had wanted the final chapter to be sort of an avalanche of things (which I won't spoil by listing here), but I realized the full chapter is probably going to be like 20 k. I put a poll up on my website, and people voted to have the first half now (since it was ready) and read the second part later rather than having 1 huge things, though a lot of readers also said they wanted to wait to get the full effect of it as I had originally wanted it to play out. **If you want to get the 'total inundation' feel, then you can wait for the second half (which will be in probably 2 weeks).** Everyone else can go ahead and read this as is LOL. I just hate to keep back something that is already written, so I am posting it.

A/N - Thank you to Niomalia and Annairea for reading through/beta'ing parts of this for me!

* * *

 **Chapter 26 - The grey zone between friends and lovers - PART ONE  
**

Naruto grinned over his shoulder at Sasuke, his blue eyes electric with excitement. Sasuke tried not to notice the way the leg loops in the climbing harness looked like they were basically cupping Naruto's ass as he rappelled down from the practice wall at the gym.

"Check it out, Sasuke! I can _totally_ use the figure eight belay. We don't need the assisted braking ones. Unless you're too scared to go old school," Naruto laughed as he landed right in front of Sasuke.

"I beat you down by almost fifteen seconds, didn't I?" Sasuke asked, rolling his eyes as they both caught their breaths. Sasuke pushed his hair back from where it was sticking to his face. Naruto's gaze seemed to catch at the motion, then Naruto jerked his gaze away to look over at the other types of climbing equipment they were testing out.

"Well, we have some time to get used to whatever style we want to go with," Naruto said, lifting the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his face. Sasuke's eyes skimmed over the tan, hard stomach, and he tried not to think about how it would feel beneath his fingertips. "It sucks that it will be a while before the weather is good enough for us to try our first serious climb, though."

"Hn," Sasuke said, flexing his fingers and looking away. Over the past three weeks of climbing twice a week at the gym with Naruto, his fingers had finally stopped aching, though he could still feel it in his shoulders after a climbing session. "We still need to start with smaller climbs to get used to setting the anchors."

Naruto sighed as he stretched one arm across his chest, pulling it with the other to increase the stretch. "Weren't you the one who said you wanted to try free solo climbing?"

" _Eventually_ ," Sasuke said. "I'm not dumb enough to go without a rope before I know what the fuck I'm doing." Sasuke arched a brow over at Naruto. "Just like I'm not dumb enough to climb a mountain before I know how to set anchor points in something other than a gym wall."

"I still think we could do it," Naruto turned toward the free climbing wall. "You barely had to look at the gear to figure out how it all worked and what the most stable configurations were. My guess is you'll have the rest of it down in about five minutes. We just need to actually get in shape enough between now and then." Naruto flashed Sasuke another grin. "Especially since you've been spending the last few years chained to your desk and gettin' soft."

Sasuke shot Naruto a glare, ignoring the possible innuendo in the words. "Like I said. _I_ beat _you_ down last time."

Naruto jumped up onto the wall, tan fingers gripping the curved, plastic finger holds as he began to nimbly pull himself up the wall. "Only because it took me longer to figure out the figure eight thing. I was used to the tubular one! But I'm gonna kick your ass on the solo wall."

Sasuke stood for a moment, watching the way the tight-fitting rock-climbing shirt pulled across the muscles on Naruto's back. It was pretty obvious that Naruto _hadn't_ spent the last six months at a desk. He'd been hauling around heavy equipment, and it showed. Naruto reached overhead to the next fingerhold, and Sasuke could see the intricate markings of Naruto's tattoo peeking out from the sleeve of his shirt, reminding Sasuke why he always took his showers back at his apartment. He was hanging on to the 'just friends' thing by a thread as it was. Seeing Naruto shirtless was not something he was ready to handle.

Naruto glanced down at him. "Don't tell me you're wussing out already."

Sasuke scowled as he grabbed the fingerholds and pulled himself onto the wall. He watched Naruto ascending before him. Naruto might be able to beat him here, but he always slowed down at the technical part of the wall where it curved overhead. Sasuke would try to catch him there.

"Just don't get in my way, dumb-ass."

The sound of Naruto chuckling floated down from over his head, and Sasuke mentally repeated the mantra of 'just friends' as he began his climb.

* * *

Sasuke threw his sweaty climbing clothes into the hamper, then stepped into the shower. He let out a low groan as the water hit his skin. He honestly didn't know if deciding to learn rock climbing with Naruto was his best idea, or his worst. The past three weeks had been great, on one level. They would go climbing together twice a week, and had dinner together several times if Sasuke finished early and Naruto was in town.

Naruto had told him all about his latest project, a Japanese spin-off of the " _Humans of New York_ " blog and photo book that had been so amazingly successful. Naruto would travel to different cities in Japan, capturing candid photos of the people who lived there in their daily routines. Every time they went to dinner, Naruto had some story to tell about someone he'd met and photographed. They covered all ages, all levels of society. Some stories were funny, some sad. Sasuke would often catch himself in the middle of the day, his lips curving up in memory of some ridiculous comment Naruto had made. He felt better than he had in months. Maybe even years. He had more energy, he was relaxed, and actually getting decent sleep. Suigetsu and Karin had starting _insisting_ on finding out who he was hooking up with that was putting him in such a good mood so they could ' _send whoever it was a fucking fruit basket for finally getting the stick out of Sasuke's ass_.'

Which brought Sasuke to the downside of his current situation.

Sasuke was very definitely _not_ having sex. And he had never been so sexually frustrated in his entire life.

Normally, it wasn't really an issue. Before Naruto, Sasuke hadn't really been that into sex. It was fine, but it was not something that kept him up at night. He could take it or leave it. And it wasn't like he wasn't enjoying Naruto's company in a platonic way but it was making him crazy that he kept running into all these walls that hadn't been there before.

Naruto would give him that fucking _grin_ of his, those stupid blue eyes all lit up and focused on him and Sasuke's hands would start to sweat. Naruto would make some joke, some jab at Sasuke, and Sasuke's fingers would itch to thread themselves through Naruto's hair so he could lick his way into that mouth that had _always_ driven him crazy.

Sasuke slid a soapy hand lower, closing his eyes and wishing he could go back a year and fix things before they'd gotten to this point. Or even just to go back a few months, before Naruto had met Gaara.

* * *

Naruto looked over to where Shikamaru and Gaara were both staring intently at the Shogi board sitting on the table between them. He was torn between being amused and being annoyed that they both insisted that he be there to watch them play, despite Naruto having only the barest grasp of the game at this level. He enjoyed their company and was happy to play host, but it didn't escape him that they were basically using him as a chaperone, though he knew that neither man would act on their attraction to the other while Naruto was still involved with Gaara.

He had known that they would hit it off, and he was still trying to work out exactly how he felt about it. He was a little surprised at the fact that he wasn't actually upset by it. When he had been dating Sasuke, the idea of Sasuke being interested in anyone else would have sent him over the edge. Luckily - at least until near the end - Sasuke had never shown even the slightest interest in anyone else.

Shikamaru had a much more open mind when it came to relationships than Naruto did, and he found Gaara's perspective on them to be interesting. Naruto had slowly been coming to the realization that he was not was definitely not that flexible. He needed… more. And he knew that Gaara wasn't someone who could give it to him.

He found himself more and more thinking about what Gaara's relationships with his other lovers were like, whether Gaara compared him to them, which ones he preferred. Naruto didn't even know for _sure_ that Gaara was seeing other people, or how many he was sleeping with. It could be one. It could be ten. But Naruto was afraid to ask, because he didn't really know how he would react once he knew the answer. He didn't want to ruin his friendship with Gaara, but it was becoming increasingly clear that - if they continued as lovers - things wouldn't end well. Naruto would end up getting hurt, or lashing out at Gaara out of jealousy.

He looked up to find Gaara's eyes on him.

"You ok?" Gaara asked.

Naruto nodded, trying to snap himself out of the dark feelings. He glanced at the Shogi board. He wasn't the best at gauging the progress, but it looked like there was still at least an hour of play ahead of the two men.

"Yeah. I might just take a walk for a bit. Looks like you two have a while left with this."

Gaara and Shikamaru exchanged a brief look that Naruto couldn't quite read. Gaara stood and walked over to Naruto.

"I'll come with you. Shikamaru and I can finish up some other time."

Naruto didn't really want to say he wanted some time alone to clear his head. He only got to see Gaara a day or so a week, and he didn't want to be a jerk, but he couldn't seem to get his head straight. "Don't worry about it. You two can finish your game," Naruto said lightly.

Gaara shot him a level look that basically called bullshit on Naruto's act that this was just some casual walk. Naruto sighed and walked over to put on his shoes, knowing Gaara would follow.

"I'll get some coffee going for when you get back," Shikamaru said, leaning back on the chair he'd been sitting in.

. . . . .

Naruto and Gaara walked down the street in silence, feeling the brisk winter wind cutting against their cheeks. It was one of the things Naruto liked best about Gaara. He wasn't uncomfortable with silence, letting Naruto have time to find his words. One of the things Gaara had in common with Sasuke, though that mental comparison had Naruto's shoulders hunching in discomfort.

"I don't mind you spending time with Shika," Naruto said after a while.

Gaara's steps slowed, and he turned to face Naruto, a thin brow arched.

Naruto shrugged. "I just mean that you didn't have to quit the game to come with me. It wasn't bothering me that you two get along."

They had stopped walking, the cars rushing past on the street.

"You're upset, though," Gaara stated.

Naruto shrugged, frustrated with himself for his own emotions.

"I don't know. I don't know what I am right now."

Gaara tilted his head to the side, looking at Naruto intently. "I think you do."

Naruto felt his stomach tense. He had known this moment would come since before he ever even slept with Gaara. But he wasn't sure he was ready for it, no matter how much warning he had.

"Your friendship is important to me," Gaara said.

Naruto nodded, feeling a small crack in the icy shell of anxiety that had formed around him when Gaara had stopped walking. "I… me, too. Gaara, I just…," Naruto stalled, not sure what he even wanted to say.

Gaara's gaze met his unwavering. "Your friendship is more important than the other things between us. If I had to choose, I would choose friendship."

Naruto bit his lip. "Are you choosing?"

"I don't want to hurt you, Naruto. You need to tell me if it's time to choose."

Naruto turned to look over at the intersection, the cars rushing by in a steady stream of the whir of engines, the foggy puffs of the hot exhaust hitting the cold air.

"I like you. But it's hard for me to be in an open relationship," Naruto admitted.

They stood there in silence together, the overlapping circles of light from the streetlights glinting off the zippers of their jackets.

"I want to ask you something that I know I don't have the right to ask," Naruto said, still not looking at Gaara.

"I'll answer," Gaara replied simply.

"Have you slept with other people since we've started dating?" Naruto asked.

Gaara looked at him a moment, waiting for Naruto to meet his gaze. Naruto could tell that Gaara was debating something internally, but finally he answered. "Yes."

Naruto nodded, feeling his chest tighten. It was not a surprise. He'd known it. Gaara had basically _told_ him he had. "I haven't."

"I know," Gaara said softly. There was a trace of regret in Gaara's voice that Naruto didn't really understand.

He felt his eyes burn slightly, and he blinked them rapidly. He'd known it would end this way. He knew himself well enough that - once he heard it said out loud - that part of their relationship would have to end. In asking the question, he'd been the one to end it. But Gaara was right. If it went on much longer, their friendship wouldn't be salvageable.

"I don't want to lose your friendship," Gaara said with quiet intensity.

Naruto blew out a short, sharp breath, watching the mist crystalize in the air. He nodded. "Ok. I… don't want that either. But I think I'm getting too… attached with the other stuff."

"Then we'll stop it. And just be friends," Gaara stated simply, though his eyes looked sad and almost wistful.

Naruto gave him a small smile, hoping it was genuine enough to put Gaara at ease. He wondered why he wasn't able to hold onto a relationship that went beyond friendship... why he always seemed to need too much. He was glad he had to leave the following day to Tokyo. Maybe throwing himself into work would give him time to get a handle on things.

"Let's head back. I'm freezing my nuts off out here," Naruto said, turning to walk back to his apartment.

He missed the look of quiet longing that Gaara sent his way before following after him. If Naruto had asked Gaara how many lovers he had since they'd been together, he might have been surprised at the answer. But in the end, Gaara knew it would still have ended the same way, so he held his peace and followed.

* * *

Naruto walked through the streets of Tokyo, camera in hand, scanning the streets and shops. This latest project was maybe his favorite. He loved watching people, all their little quirks and idiosyncrasies. He loved to try to capture some essence of them on camera, some element of humanity or culture that could be captured and frozen in time. Brandon Stanton's idea had been genius, and Naruto had been ecstatic when Jiraiya had asked him to do a Japanese version of _Humans of New York._

A flash of red caught Naruto's eye, and he looked down a side street to see a child of around six standing on his tippy-toes looking into a sweets shop. His little fingers and nose were pressed up against the glass, and Naruto's camera immediately captured the moment, the feel of anticipation as the holidays were coming and New Year's treats were starting to appear in the shops.

Naruto walked towards the child, looking around for the mother or father to get permission to use the child's photo in his collection. The street was filled with shoppers on a mid-Saturday morning, but none were pausing near the child. Naruto frowned as he drew closer, noticing the tattered look of the child's coat. Up close, Naruto could tell the boy was probably closer to eight or nine, but small for his age, making him appear younger.

Sensing his approach, the boy turned to look at Naruto with eyes far too wary to belong to a child of such tender years. Though the eyes were brown instead of blue, Naruto instantly recognized the guarded look in their depths, having seen the same look in his mirror every morning as a child.

The swelling bruise on the child's cheekbone hadn't been visible when the child was in profile, but now that they were face-to-face, there was no avoiding it. The boy noted the direction of Naruto's gaze, and the child's chin jutted out stubbornly, as though daring Naruto to say something about it.

"Hey," Naruto said, crouching down so he was eye-to-eye with the boy. "My name's Naruto."

He was careful to make no move to get within touching distance of the child. The boy watched him carefully, but didn't reply.

"Those look good," Naruto stated, moving away from to look through the same glass they boy had been, earlier.

"Yeah," the boy said tentatively. "But the shop is really expensive. You shouldn't stay out here too long, or the man will come and yell."

"Hm," Naruto murmured. "There was a place where I grew up that made awesome sweets, but the guy always yelled at me, too. But it was still better than hanging out at home, sometimes."

The boy slanted a glance at him, then went back to looking at the sweets on display in the shop. After a few minutes, the boy said, "Yeah. Sometimes home sucks."

Naruto nodded, still looking through the window, though he was focusing on the boy's reflection rather than what was inside the shop. He knew not to push. From the reflection, he could see an older, yellowing bruise on the boy's jaw. It made his stomach twist.

"You go to school near here?" Naruto asked. Teachers were better trained now to look for signs. He hoped the boy had someone looking out for him.

"Sometimes," the boy said, looking away.

"Yeah. I know how that goes." Some of Naruto's foster parents would keep him home when they had screwed up and left bruises where they would show. He could feel the impotent anger building up in him again, all the years he'd spent trying to forget how it felt to be utterly helpless and alone washed away by this encounter.

The boy had turned to fully face him now, dark eyes looking at Naruto intently. "Did it get better?"

The desperation in the young voice made Naruto's throat close, but he met the boy's gaze steadily. "Yeah. It was… rough… for a while. But I got older. I got a job so I don't need to be with any of them anymore."

"Your job is taking pictures?" the boy asked, nodding at Naruto's camera.

"Yep. Best job ever. Mostly, I'm my own boss." Naruto smiled.

"Lucky," the boy muttered. "And you're not alone anymore?"

The question caught Naruto off guard, and his smile faltered. "I have good friends." Though the truth was, he _was_ still alone. Still unable to build anything that lasted, any sort of family of his own. First with Sasuke, then with Gaara. He forced a grin, not wanting to display the turmoil that was going on inside him.

"How about this," Naruto said. "Let's go in there and buy some dango together. We'll eat it right in his shop and show this guy that kids like us can make it on our own just fine."

The child looked at Naruto assessingly for a moment, then shrugged. Naruto took that for the agreement it likely was, and opened the door to the small shop. The clerk's eyes narrowed at him, but softened when they landed on the boy. Naruto wondered if maybe the man wasn't as impatient with the boy as the child seemed to think.

They ordered and sat down with their food. The boy didn't offer his name and Naruto knew better than to ask it. But when he left, he handed the boy his card with his cell on the back.

"If things get bad, and you need help, you can call me." Naruto didn't really know if he'd be able to do anything, but right now, the most important thing was that the boy didn't feel alone. That someone on the face of the earth actually gave a damn about him. The kid nodded, clutching the card tightly in his small hand before slipping it into the pocket of the tattered coat and heading back out into the winter night with a cup of hot cocoa that Naruto had given him.

Naruto watched him until he disappeared from sight, emotions storming through him.

* * *

Naruto barely remembered getting on the bullet train from Tokyo to head back home. His mind kept seeing the face of the child, every memory that Naruto had fought so hard to suppress from his own childhood flooding through him.

Things he never wanted to think about again. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, hoping to block them out. He didn't know how to handle it.

He needed something that would distract him from it all, but there was no one waiting for him back in his empty apartment. A few days ago, he would have called Gaara, but he couldn't deal with the fact that they'd basically broken up (even though they hadn't actually been dating, in some ways). Sasuke was the only person Naruto had ever really talked to about these things, but… things were just getting settled with their friendship. He hadn't talked to Sasuke since he broke up with Gaara, and he felt like such a mess at that moment. He didn't want Sasuke to have to see him like this.

He pulled out his phone and called Kiba. Maybe they could get together and just hang out. Or get hammered. Kiba wouldn't understand, but he would be a distraction, and right now that's what Naruto needed most. The phone went to voicemail, and Naruto got a text back instead.

 _Working tnight. Clinic is crazy. ttyl?_

Naruto knew that he could text Kiba back and say he needed to see him, but he didn't want to do that. He didn't want his shitty past causing anyone any more problems than it already had.

 _'_ _So you're not alone anymore?' the boy had asked._

Naruto's jaw clenched on the innocent question. He remembered the almost desperate wish as a child to just finally be somewhere he was actually _wanted._ Once he got to high school, and then the first semester in college, Naruto had discovered it was easy enough to temporarily stave off the feeling of no one wanting him. He sighed, wishing he had grown out of this need to not be alone.

He would never stay in a relationship just to avoid being lonely, but sometimes he wondered if he made the right choices. He could have stayed as one of Gaara's lovers. He could have stayed as Sasuke's unwanted boyfriend.

Except that he couldn't. He wouldn't settle. If it wasn't real, then it was worthless.

Naruto closed his eyes, trying to shut his brain off as he waited for the train to deliver him to his destination.

He just needed to go out. He needed to not be alone, not thinking of things that had to stay buried.

* * *

Sasuke glanced at his watch, his brows creasing in slight annoyance. Naruto was supposed to have been there ten minutes ago for their climbing lesson. They'd both had work conflicts come up that had made them have to cancel with short notice sometimes, but they'd always called or at least texted to give the other the heads up.

He pulled out his phone and shot off a quick text.

 _It's 9:10. Where are you?_

"You still want to do the free climb technique today?" the instructor asked.

"Yes," Sasuke said, his voice clipped. He wasn't going to waste the lesson just because Naruto didn't show up.

Sasuke had finished with the instructor and was practicing on his own when Naruto finally showed up, out of breath.

"Hey, Sasuke! I am _so_ sorry. I forgot to set my alarm last night."

Sasuke was up nearly to the top of the wall when he heard Naruto's voice coming from below him, so he just shot a quick glare in the man's general direction before making his way down. He had been climbing for almost forty-five minutes, and he was definitely feeling the burn in his back and arms.

"It's not like we were meeting at seven in the morning." Sasuke dropped down to the mat, turning to face Naruto. The reason for Naruto's lateness was made clear by his blood-shot eyes and obvious bed-head. Sasuke's eyes narrowed.

"Rough night?" It was unusual for Naruto to drink to excess. He usually only did so either to celebrate or when something was really wrong.

Naruto sighed, rubbing his hand over his face. "Yeah. I guess. I'm really sorry. Your text woke me up, and then traffic was bad."

Sasuke noticed a set of scratch-marks that started up at the base of Naruto's neck and disappeared down the back of his T-shirt and he felt his jaw clench. It was the first time since their meeting in the cafe that any of Naruto's 'extracurricular' activities had been shoved in his face. He'd been going through the past few weeks trying very hard not to think too much about Naruto and Gaara, but there was no avoiding the obvious evidence now. He turned away, reaching into his climbing bag to chalk his hands. "You didn't need to rush down. You obviously had company."

From the corner of his eye, he could see Naruto flinch, red tinging his cheeks. "Not really. I… um… left last night sometime." Naruto shifted, obviously embarrassed.

Sasuke turned, his eyes raking over Naruto's clearly hung-over form, anger flooding through him. "Gaara doesn't even live in town, and you're obviously hung over. Were you really dumb enough to drive all the way home in that condition last night?"

Naruto's eyebrows went up, then he looked away. "No! I didn't drive last night. I'm not that stupid." Naruto rubbed the back of his head with his hand. "And Gaara and me… um… we decided a couple of days ago that things, uh, weren't working."

 _Wait, what?_ Sasuke stilled. They hadn't talked about Gaara much, but when they did, it had been clear Naruto liked and admired the man. That had been the whole reason Sasuke had been careful to keep all his actions strictly platonic. He wasn't going to try to seduce Naruto away from someone who was good for him. So what the fuck had happened, and who the fuck had Naruto had sex with the night before?

Sasuke took in Naruto's general state of embarrassment and discomfort. _One night stand, then_. Sasuke fought to keep his face neutral, but he couldn't deny how much it bothered him that Naruto had gone out and found some random person instead of calling him. "So you were just…"

Naruto looked even more embarrassed. "I had a shitty day. I went out to a bar and… we ended up back at her place." Naruto glanced up at him. "But we _walked._ I took a cab home later and just passed out, I guess. I didn't drive anywhere until this morning."

Which explained why it took Naruto forty-five minutes from the time Sasuke texted him for him to get here. Sasuke tried not to think about Naruto in some random woman's bed. He looked at Naruto assessingly. His eyes had dark circles under them, and his body posture was rigid with embarrassment. But the expression in his eyes was haunted in a way that Sasuke had never seen before. The sharp edge of Sasuke's anger lessened slightly as concern slowly took its place. Naruto didn't need a jealous ex-lover right now. Naruto needed a friend. Sasuke drew a slow breath.

"She needs to cut her nails," Sasuke said dryly, leaning back against the wall.

Naruto blinked, then let out a surprised bark of laughter, his eyes finally returning to Sasuke. "Yeah. I guess. I honestly don't remember much about it," he grimaced.

"You look like shit. I'm guessing you didn't eat before coming here."

"No, I just showered and ran over."

Sasuke couldn't help the slight mental cringe at Naruto covered in some woman's scent, and was somehow relieved that Naruto had felt the need to shower before seeing him. He'd deal with the other things later. Right now, he needed to find out what had happened. And if he was going to have to pay the sex club owner an unpleasant visit. His eyes hardened at the thought.

"Let's go get you breakfast."

Naruto looked guiltily up at the climbing wall, then quickly glanced at Sasuke's climbing gear. "We still have half an hour of gym time. I'm fine. I can just -"

"Shut up and get your fucking bag," Sasuke said, though his tone was calm, almost gentle. "You're going to fall off the wall if you try to climb now. I don't want them to kick us out just because you can't hold your alcohol."

Naruto gave a small smile, his eyes tired. "I'd still kick your ass. But fine. I should probably go grab some food. You can finish the lesson, if you want. We paid for the time." Naruto's eyes flickered over Sasuke's sweat-soaked shirt. Sasuke could feel it clinging to his body uncomfortably.

Sasuke felt his concern grow at how fast Naruto acquiesced. Normally, Naruto would have dug his heels in, just to prove a point. Or - at the very least - gotten in a jab or two back at Sasuke.

"If you're willing to wait for me to grab a shower, I'll come with you."

Naruto bit his lip, looking uncertain. "I just… I'm probably pretty shitty company right now. I think I might just head home."

It twisted in Sasuke's gut that Naruto was this broken up about Gaara, but he knew the last thing Naruto needed was to be alone. It didn't take a genius to figure out that the entire reason for last night's events had been to avoid exactly that. Before they had started dating, Naruto had not been a stranger to the party or bar scene back in college. Sasuke had vaguely realized that it was Naruto's way of dealing with his shitty past, but it was different to see him doing the same thing now.

"Give me ten minutes." Sasuke began unfastening his harness.

"You're going to shower _here_? I thought you said public showers were gross."

Sasuke only shot Naruto a look and picked up his gear, heading to the men's locker rooms.

"Hey! You need soap, right?" Naruto tossed him his bottle of shower gel, which Sasuke easily caught with a downward swipe of his hand.

"Hn."

* * *

Sasuke had insisted in driving them to Naruto's place, telling Naruto he didn't still seem like he was in much shape for driving. Naruto hadn't put up much of a protest, a combination of his pounding head from the night before and guilt for standing Sasuke up for their climbing lesson. But as they parked and walked to the elevator of Naruto's building, Naruto wondered what the fuck he'd been thinking by inviting Sasuke back to his place.

Obviously, he hadn't been.

They had been meeting out at either the gym or at restaurants ever since the movie night at Sasuke's place. Naruto was vaguely relieved that he had gone to the woman's place rather than his own, so at least Sasuke wouldn't have to see the trail of clothes strewn along the floor or the chair they'd knocked over in her apartment. But he still felt uneasy about having Sasuke over when he was such a fucking mess. They were just getting back on solid ground as friends. The last thing Naruto wanted was for Sasuke to see him in freefall like this. He closed his eyes, clenching his jaw. Why did he have to be so fucked up? He'd spent a lifetime pushing the memories of his childhood down, now it seemed like they were everywhere he looked.

He opened his eyes to find Sasuke looking at him. "What floor?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto wordlessly pushed the button with the number eight on it. "Sasuke, I really appreciate you coming over to… force feed me breakfast or whatever, but I'm fine."

Sasuke glanced up to where the elevator was counting up the floors as they passed. "You're not fine."

Naruto wished Sasuke was someone he could fool with an easy grin and raunchy joke, but Sasuke had learned to see through Naruto's shields long ago.

"Yeah. Ok, maybe I'm not fine, but that doesn't mean you have to deal with it," Naruto hadn't meant the words to come out as harshly as they did, but Sasuke appeared unfazed.

"Growl at me all you want, Naruto, I'm not leaving." Sasuke slanted Naruto a glance as the elevator chimed, and the stepped out. "You could have called me last night, you know."

Naruto told himself repeatedly that Sasuke was _not_ offering to have sex with him. He fumbled a little with the lock, feeling the weight of Sasuke's presence. No. Sasuke was just saying that - as a friend - if Naruto was upset, he should have called him.

"Yeah, I just… didn't want anyone to have to deal with it, I guess. I figured you'd have better things to do on a Saturday night than babysit my sorry ass." Naruto tried to play it off casually, but he knew Sasuke would see right through it.

The tension in Sasuke's jawline told Naruto he was right.

In the list of possible ways Naruto had fantasized (despite his best efforts NOT to) about getting Sasuke to come to his place, having it be because he was hungover and having a fucking breakdown was about negative two hundred fifty in the ranking. He supposed, if nothing else, this would make Sasuke feel better about their own break-up. Naruto was clearly a fucking mess. No wonder he couldn't make a relationship last.

He toed off his shoes, hoping Sasuke would not stay long. He'd already screwed up by being late that morning, so he didn't want to be an ass and kick Sasuke out, but he really wasn't up for company. His plan to bluff through their climbing session had obviously failed spectacularly, and he wasn't wanting to make it worse.

He noticed Sasuke glancing around his apartment, the numerous photos covering the walls, camera equipment on the shelves. He still didn't have much for furniture, something Sasuke surely noted but at least didn't comment on.

Sasuke walked to the kitchen, opening cupboard doors until he found the glasses and filling one with water before handing it to Naruto.

"Drink."

Naruto rolled his eyes, then winced at the motion. "Thanks."

"Is your stomach up to actual food?"

Naruto managed a weak grin. "Always."

It had been something he had discovered in college, his steel stomach able to handle pretty much anything he threw at it. The few times he and Sasuke had gotten wasted together, Sasuke was the one leaning over the toilet in the morning while Naruto ate his breakfast.

"Figures," Sasuke said, shooting him a glare.

Naruto snickered and drank the water, feeling slightly better. He didn't really know what to make of Sasuke coming back with him. He could feel Sasuke's eyes watching him.

"What happened?" Sasuke asked when Naruto had finished the water.

Naruto set the empty glass on the counter, watching the way a drop on the rim of the glass slid back down the inside wall. His mind played through images of the child, none of which - when described aloud - would make any sense as being a trigger for the mess he was right then. He looked up at Sasuke, trying to read the expression in the man's face.

There was no judgement. No pity. Sasuke looked tense, but nothing else. Despite everything that had happened between them, Naruto trusted him. He drew a slow breath, trying to think about how to explain what had happened. Why it mattered.

"There was this… kid. I was doing candid photos in Tokyo the last two days and…" Naruto paused trying to find a way to explain what he felt, but he noticed a look of surprise crossing Sasuke's face.

"What?" Naruto asked.

"I thought... you were upset because of Gaara," Sasuke said carefully.

Naruto gave a slightly bitter laugh. "Yeah, well it didn't really help, I suppose. But it was… not a surprise. Our relationship had always been more of a temporary thing, I think. I mean, we weren't exclusive or anything." He lifted one shoulder in a small gesture.

Sasuke's eyebrows rose, knowing full well that had never been the way Naruto had played the game. Naruto grimaced slightly.

"Yeah. Gaara doesn't believe in traditional relationships. It's a long story." Naruto sighed.

"So Gaara wasn't exclusive, but you were."

Naruto's lips twisted into a humorless smile. "You know me, always looking for things that aren't really there when it comes to relationships. I knew it was a bad idea but… anyway. We decided we needed to end things to salvage the friendship."

Sasuke's gaze sharpened at Naruto's words. "What do you mean, things that aren't really there?"

Naruto shrugged, laying down on the folded futon in the corner of the room and closing his eyes. He didn't want to talk about this now. He didn't want to talk about this ever.

"Can we talk about something else right now? I've got a killer fucking headache."

There was a heavy silence in the room, and Naruto knew that Sasuke didn't want to let it go. Naruto kept his eyes closed, hoping somehow the thin barrier of his eyelids would keep the discussion from happening. He felt scraped raw and wide open. He needed to be alone, or with strangers he could fool with a wink and a grin, who wouldn't dig beneath the surface.

"If Gaara wasn't willing to bend his rules for you, then he didn't deserve you."

Naruto opened his eyes briefly to see an intent expression on Sasuke's face that he didn't know how to read, but then Sasuke was turning and walking back to the kitchen. Naruto could hear the sounds of cupboard doors being opened and closed, water running, and the clang of a pot being set on the stove.

The smell of boiling rice eventually came wafting over to him, and he realized he must have fallen asleep briefly. It dawned on him that Sasuke was… trying to take care of him. When they had been together, it had usually been the other way around. Between Sasuke's asshole family and his high pressure job, he was usually the one needing comfort. Now the roles were reversed, and Naruto didn't know what to think about it. It wasn't really something he ever thought about Sasuke doing. Or wanting to do.

He looked up to see Sasuke reading in one of the few chairs Naruto had in his apartment.

"You didn't have to stay."

Sasuke looked up at him expressionlessly, then his eyes moved back down to his book.

"I thought you needed glasses for reading," Naruto commented, noticing that Sasuke's eyes were narrowed somewhat as he read.

"I thought I would be climbing, not reading," Sasuke said dryly.

Naruto pressed his lips closed, another spike of guilt and embarrassment shooting through him.

"Tell me about the boy you saw." Sasuke didn't look up from the book, but Naruto could tell his attention was completely focused on Naruto. The fact that he wasn't looking at him made it somewhat easier to answer. Naruto could almost pretend that he was talking to himself. He lay back on the futon, looking up at the ceiling.

"He was… looking in the window of a sweets shop. At first, I thought it was one of those classic childhood moments, you know?" The kind that he and Sasuke definitely hadn't had, but he didn't need to say that out loud. "A kid out shopping with his parents, excited for the holidays. He had his fingertips and nose pressed against the glass, looking in at the food inside."

Naruto broke off, swallowing. He shot a sidelong glance at Sasuke, but Sasuke continued to look down at his book. He hadn't turned the page, though, and the stillness of his body told Naruto he was still listening.

"I took some photos of him from about half a block away. Then I came to talk to his parents, to get permission to use them in my book. There's a, um, waiver, or whatever."

Sasuke looked up from his book, his eyes meeting Naruto's as slow comprehension dawned on him.

"When I got closer, I could see how beat up his clothes were. His jacket looked like it was on its third or fourth owner. When he turned to face me, his left eye was… was swelling up. But there were other, older bruises along his jawline."

Naruto stopped, and had to look away again.

"How old was he?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto shrugged. "From a distance, he looked like he was six or seven. But when I got closer, I'd say more like nine. Probably didn't get enough to eat." Naruto's voice was low and rough.

"What did you do?"

Naruto huffed out a hollow breath. "What the fuck _could_ I do? If you're not a legal guardian or a teacher, no one takes you seriously. I talked to him a bit, bought him some food and gave him my number in case things get really bad. Living on the streets at that age is just…" Naruto forced himself to not think about the nights he had spent hiding from some of his 'less loving' foster homes. "I wanted him to have an option."

"Because you hadn't had any," Sasuke stated.

They sat in silence for a while.

"Did you get his name?"

Naruto shook his head. "Nah. I knew better than to ask. I was already some creepy old guy offering him sweets. I didn't want to freak him out even more." Naruto chewed his lip. "But I saw where he went where he left. I think I know which apartment building he lives in. It wasn't his first time hanging around outside that shop and usually kids that age stay closer to home."

Naruto would know.

Sasuke was silent for a few moments, watching the emotions play over Naruto's face. Finally, he spoke. "We could call Konan. She might know who is in charge in that district. She could help him."

Naruto breathed an empty laugh. "Those people never help. They just check the box on their little form that says they followed up on a complaint from a teacher or whatever, but they don't do shit. All it will do is get him in trouble with his family for bringing attention down on them."

"Is that what happened to you?" Sasuke asked, something in his voice making Naruto look up at him.

Naruto felt his body tense. "I don't want your fucking pity, Sasuke."

Sasuke closed his eyes briefly, then set his book down. "How did you feel when my parents had to be blackmailed into attending my graduation?"

Naruto looked away. "That's different."

"Really? How is that different? Because it was me?"

"Your parents are _assholes_. I was angry."

"Do you think for a single moment I don't want to go back and find every family you had and rip them apart with my bare hands?" The calm way in which the statement was delivered made the hair on Naruto's arms stand on end. There was absolutely no doubt in Naruto's mind that Sasuke was deadly serious. The idea that Sasuke felt that strongly about it baffled Naruto slightly, but it also sent an odd warmth through him. There was a possessive, protective look in Sasuke's eyes that had Naruto's skin tightening.

"But you felt more than just anger. You bent over backwards to try to make up for their actions. You always did."

"I never _pitied_ you, Sasuke."

"And I'm not pitying you, either. I can't go back and change what happened to you. But if you want to try to help this boy, I can help you do it."

The idea of actually being able to _finally_ make some sort of a difference, even just a small one…

"I don't know how to help," Naruto admitted, some of the frustration and hopelessness he'd felt earlier surging back up again, though it felt less lonely this time. But his own personal experience with the system had taught him that there _was_ no help.

"Konan said that what happened to you should never have occurred. You had a shitty caseworker, Naruto. If someone else had been paying attention, they would have intervened. He would have been fired. Konan can find the right person to talk to. I can't promise it will fix things, but it's worth a shot."

Naruto held his gaze for several moments, then nodded. "Ok. Yeah, I'll talk to her."

The timer in the kitchen went off. Sasuke stood, shooting a glance over his shoulder. "Come eat. I'll call her and set something up."

Naruto dragged himself off the futon and followed Sasuke into the kitchen, grabbing two bowls as Sasuke took the rice porridge off the stove.

"Hey," Naruto said, his arm bumping lightly against Sasuke's. "Thanks."

Sasuke looked over at him, and Naruto felt his body freeze at the look in Sasuke's eyes, the way his gaze drifted to Naruto's mouth. It was the same look he'd seen that night so many years ago, when they'd sat in the bar after being paired on the shitty project together. The air between them seemed suddenly electric with tension, and Naruto became aware of just how close he was standing to Sasuke.

Sasuke cared for him. Maybe Naruto would never be the one Sasuke loved, but he was here, and he was close and Naruto just needed to feel something other than the emptiness he'd been feeling for the past day. Naruto slowly started to lean in, his eyes locked on Sasuke's.

But then Sasuke stepped back, his hands fisting briefly at his sides before they reached over to take one of the bowls and fill it with the rice. "Not like this," Sasuke muttered harshly. Naruto wasn't sure if he was talking to him or to himself.

"Eat. Then we're going grocery shopping. All you have for lunch is instant ramen, and I'm not eating that shit."

Naruto was still frozen from their almost-kiss. He had known Sasuke far too long to not recognize the look that had been blazing in those dark eyes up until he had pulled back.

It had definitely been desire. But then Sasuke had pulled away. Naruto watched Sasuke dish up the second bowl, wishing his brain was functioning properly because he wasn't sure what had just happened.

* * *

 _To be continued…_

 **A/N:** Ok, so… there is still another equally long second half of this chapter that I am still working on. My personal experience with life events is that things tend to happen all at once. So I wanted this 'final chapter' to feel sort of like an avalanche of shit all going down and changing at the same time, but having a single chapter be 20k long (which was where this was heading) just seemed like too much. Hoping to get the next part up within 2 weeks, but who knows. This first half went much faster than I expected, so maybe the next part will, too? idk.


	27. Out of the grey zone

**A/N:** Just a quick cultural note that New Year's in Japan is not like it is in the US. It's more of a family thing, not a big drunken binge. That will help the chapter make more sense. Thank you to Niomalia beta'ing this never-ending final chapter for me!

 **Note: Dec 7, 2017, chapter edited to remove sexual content** per FF's ToS and a complaint by a reader. Full version is still on Ao3 dot org.

This chapter is over 15k words long. I am so sorry. uggghhhhhh.

* * *

 **Chapter 27 - Out of the grey zone**

Sasuke let his head fall back slightly against the back of the cushion, feeling more relaxed and at peace than he had in months. It didn't matter that the futon was hard and lumpy, or that his arm had fallen asleep from where Naruto was leaning against it. It didn't matter that the movie they were watching was not one that he would ever have chosen to watch on his own. It didn't even matter that the dishes from dinner were still piled messily in Naruto's sink rather than washed and put away properly.

He looked down to his side, where Naruto had fallen asleep, his head lolling back an angle that would surely give him a stiff neck in the morning. The tension that had been in Naruto's face and body language earlier that day was finally gone, and Sasuke felt some of the worry he'd been feeling ease. Naruto had definitely had his lows when they were in college together, but there had been nothing like this, nothing that had shaken Naruto to his foundations the way seeing the child on the street had. Naruto had been good at keeping his past buried. Maybe too good.

But this time, Sasuke wasn't going to be so caught up in his own shit that he missed the signs. He might not be exactly adept at giving comfort, but evidently he hadn't completely sucked at it. The thought steadied him, somehow, as though he'd passed a test he hadn't even known he'd set for himself. Naruto had seemed better after they'd called Konan. She had agreed to meet with Naruto on Tuesday evening to talk about what Naruto saw and what the options were.

Sasuke had a suspicion that the woman was requesting to meet in-person equally to get a sense of how Naruto was handling things and to find out more about the child, but he was ok with that and Naruto didn't seem to have figured it out. In any case, they'd done all they could for now. Naruto had no illusions that this would magically fix everything, but his eyes had lost some of their hollow expression as the evening had gone on.

He watched Naruto sleep for another moment, an odd sense of calm flowing through him. Naruto's lips were parted slightly, the slow, soft breaths coming from them making Sasuke feel an answering sense of tiredness. The final credits were playing, and he looked at his watch. It was after eleven and he had to be up early for work the next day. Given that he had no clean clothes here, and his laptop was sitting on his kitchen table in his apartment, staying the night was out of the question, even if he slept on the couch.

Sasuke resisted the urge to run his fingers through Naruto's hair to wake him, and instead gently nudged his arm. "Hey. You're not going to be able to move your neck tomorrow if you sleep like that."

"Mm?" Naruto blearily opened his eyes, looking at Sasuke for an unguarded moment as his brain woke up, then blinking as he sat up straight and rubbed the back of his neck. "Ah, fuck. Thanks. What… uh, what time is it?" he finished on a yawn.

"Late. I need to head out. And you should go sleep in an actual bed. This futon sucks." Sasuke stood, stretching to try to release the kinks in his back. "Why haven't you bought any grown-up furniture?"

Naruto's eyes skimmed down Sasuke's body before quickly snapping back up to his face, then off to the side of the room.

"What? Right," Naruto said, a trace of pink etching along his cheekbones as he stood. "I don't know. I wanted to see how it went living on my own first before I invested in furniture, I guess. Plus, furniture shopping sucks."

"Hm," Sasuke murmured in agreement. Thank god Itachi had bought most of the furniture in his place.

Naruto picked up his phone to check the time. "Fuck. I didn't mean to keep you so late. You should have kicked me up earlier. You have to work tomorrow."

They stood facing each other, the length of the futon between them. It would be an easy distance to close, and the awareness of that fact shivered between them. The only thing that held Sasuke back was the fact that Naruto had had enough shit thrown at him in the past couple of days. When this happened, he wanted to be absolutely sure it was what they both wanted, not some misplaced need that Naruto had stemming from something else.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Sasuke said as he turned and walked over to the entryway and pulled his shoes on. He could feel Naruto's gaze on him the entire time. He straightened, looking over at Naruto and catching him mid-stare. Sasuke arched an eyebrow, and Naruto immediately flushed and looked away.

Sasuke managed to conceal his smirk until he was out the door. That was definitely a 'more than friends' look Naruto had on his face. Relief flooded him. He wasn't too late. Sasuke was willing to wait until Naruto wasn't being hit by an emotional freight train before he did anything about it, and this time, he wasn't going to fuck it up.

* * *

Sasuke was glad the traffic was light on his way home. His mind was focused on trying to figure out where he and Naruto stood. It felt like they'd moved beyond friends, but weren't quite 'dating' either. Sasuke's fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly. He didn't do well with grey areas. Or dating. Or really anything that had to do with relationships. He was going to fuck this up.

Though… Naruto already knew all that about him. But at least he had managed to control himself enough not to take advantage of Naruto's state of mind. He missed the physical side of their relationship, but he wasn't going to play dirty to get Naruto back in his bed. If it happened… _when_ it happened, it was going to be with both of them on firm ground, with eyes wide open. He wasn't going to be some quick fuck to help Naruto take his mind off shit.

His mind went back to the last night they had slept together, before the break-up. He'd been bitter about it for a long time, but now he understood a little bit better what had happened. Naruto hadn't been using him. He'd just been spiraling. Sasuke wasn't ever going to feel good about it, but at least he didn't feel the anger he had in the past. He could get past it. There had been a lot going on that he'd missed back then. He couldn't hold Naruto accountable for all of it.

But that didn't mean Naruto was ready to jump into a relationship with him. At least Naruto didn't seem to be mourning the ending of his relationship with Gaara, which Sasuke was relieved about. He didn't want to be the rebound fuck. But Naruto seemed to have gone into that relationship knowing it would be temporary. The thing that bothered Sasuke was the way Naruto had seemed to lump his relationship with Gaara with his relationship with Sasuke, the bitterness in Naruto's voice when he'd talked about always looking for things that weren't there.

Sasuke felt a surge of anger, mostly directed at himself. He needed to show Naruto that he wasn't like Gaara. There was nothing standing in the way of them making things work out in the long run. They were both finally wanting the same thing. It had just taken Sasuke a little longer to realize it.

And now he had to fix it.

* * *

Naruto woke up slightly disoriented and wondered why he wasn't in his own bed. He blinked as the haze of sleep cleared, and realized that he _was_ in his own bed. His new one. Not the one he had shared with Sasuke for three years. Spending so much time with Sasuke over the weekend must have had him dream weird things, and he had woken up thinking he was back in their old apartment, before the split.

He scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to wipe the thought away along with the feeling of _rightness_ that he had woken with when he'd mistakenly thought for a moment that they were still together. Sasuke had been there for him this weekend, even though he didn't have to be. He'd gone beyond what most people would do, but Naruto had to remind himself that they were friends now. Not lovers. Naruto felt a surge of embarrassment as he remembered how he had almost fucking _kissed_ Sasuke the day before.

"Ah, _fuck_ ," he pulled his pillow over his face. Sasuke had pulled away. Of _course_ , Sasuke had pulled away! Naruto had been bleary-eyed and hungover, only a few hours out of the bed of some random woman. Why the fuck would Sasuke have wanted to kiss _that_?The real surprise was that Sasuke hadn't been pissed off about it. Sasuke would have been fully justified in taking a swing at Naruto, but instead, he'd just pulled back then hung out with him the rest of the evening, making sure Naruto was ok.

Naruto bit his lip. There had definitely been attraction at least briefly when Sasuke had looked at him, but not enough for him to want to act on. Sasuke might have broken up with Neji, but that didn't mean he was interested in dating Naruto. Or anyone. Sasuke was someone who could probably be perfectly content on his own. He didn't need a boyfriend.

Naruto steeled his resolve. He was not going to screw this up. He'd rather have Sasuke in his life as a friend than not at all, and he wasn't going to let the fact that he hadn't been able to get over Sasuke push the man away. He'd known Sasuke for a long time, and he knew that nothing made the man put up a wall faster than someone trying to get in his pants or push for something Sasuke had no interest in.

Naruto wasn't going to make that mistake. He had almost two full days to get his shit together before he was going to meet Sasuke and Konan for dinner. He could do this. He could be Sasuke's friend.

* * *

Sasuke kept a close eye on Naruto as they walked into the restaurant where they had arranged to meet Konan. Naruto had been unusually quiet when they'd met out front, and Sasuke hoped that he was going to be ok with the meeting. He saw Konan already seated at one of the tables, and walked over to where she was sitting.

"Thanks for driving over to meet us," Sasuke greeted Konan and sat down in the chair next to Naruto. It would have been hard for him to get out of work early enough to go with Naruto if they'd had to drive all the way over to her office, but Konan had volunteered to make the drive between towns herself.

"Yeah, um, thanks. I really… you didn't have to come all the way here," Naruto said nervously, his eyes flickering from Konan to Sasuke to pretty much anywhere in the room. It occurred to Sasuke that Naruto's past experiences with people in Konan's position were probably not that great. Looking at the tightly wound posture of Naruto's body, Sasuke was glad when he'd told the blond to shut the fuck up when Naruto had told Sasuke he didn't need to go with him to meet Konan.

Konan gave Naruto a calm, understanding smile. "After what you told me on the phone this weekend, I wanted to meet you in person to discuss it. The better I understand the situation, the more effective I can be at helping to fix it."

Naruto looked down at the menu in front of him, his mouth tightening slightly.

Konan arched a brow. "You don't agree?"

Naruto's head snapped up, his eyes wide and Sasuke's lips curved slightly. Naruto always seemed so surprised that people could read him when he showcased his emotions so completely on his face. He'd never met anyone more expressive than Naruto, and it always surprised him that so few people had taken the time to look beneath the man's surface.

"No. It's not that I don't agree, it's just…" he glanced over to Sasuke. "In my experience, there just doesn't really seem to be much that can get done. But I really do appreciate your coming all the way here to at least listen."

Konan glanced over to Sasuke before looking back at Naruto. "You have experience with the system?"

Naruto's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Yeah. I mean… Sasuke said he talked to you about it."

Konan smiled slightly. "He didn't tell me anything about your identity, not your age or even your gender. I didn't want to assume."

Naruto blushed, scrubbing the back of his head slightly. "Oh, right. Yeah, well. That was a long time ago. Anyway, do you really think we can do something here?"

The uncertain hopefulness in Naruto's voice made Sasuke's chest tighten, and he felt a surge of white-hot anger at the nameless, faceless people in Naruto's past who had left him so disbelieving that anything good could come out of a situation like this. Konan's expression indicated she was having a similar reaction, but it was masked somewhat by a look of complete determination to do something to fix at least _this_ child's situation. Sasuke thought that - in that moment - he understood the respect that Itachi had for this woman.

"I give you my word I will not let him fall through the cracks, Naruto," she said, looking Naruto directly in the eyes. "What happened to you won't happen to him."

Naruto bit his lip, then nodded, and Sasuke could see the tan throat working convulsively as he got ahold of his emotions. "Thanks," he said roughly.

Konan nodded in reply, then took out a pad of paper, taking down the basic information Naruto gave her about where he saw the boy, what he looked like, and where his best guess was about where he lived. She also took the name of the sweets shop and the owner who had seemed to know the boy.

She paused, skimming through her notes, then looked up at Naruto again. "What was your impression of the boy's mental state?"

Naruto blinked, surprised. "Well, I mean… I guess it was pretty much what you'd expect."

"What would you expect?" Konan asked, tilting her head slightly to the side.

"Guarded," Naruto said without hesitation. "He isn't used to having anyone actually want to help him. Especially not an adult. So I was careful to try to not scare him or get too close."

Sasuke noticed as the muscles on Naruto's forearms tensed, and he shot a warning look at Konan, which she ignored.

"Why would he be so guarded?" Konan asked, her voice calm.

One of Naruto's hands fisted in his lap, though Konan couldn't see it. "Because all the adults in his life either want him out of the way or want to get something from him." Sasuke shifted, letting his knee bump slightly against Naruto's. Naruto glanced over at him, shooting a slight smile as he unclenched his hands slightly.

"Get something?" Konan queried.

Naruto looked down the aisle of the restaurant. "Yeah. Get something. Money for child support, or government aid. Or… other stuff."

Sasuke could feel the tension radiating off Naruto in waves. "Konan," he said, warningly. There was no reason for her to be asking Naruto to speculate.

"What other stuff do you think they are wanting him for?" Konan's voice was gentle.

Naruto met her gaze, the muscles in his jaw tensing before he answered. "I spent half an hour with the kid. You think he's gonna tell me that? Isn't finding out supposed to be _your_ job?"

Sasuke didn't take his eyes off Naruto.

"I was just wondering what you thought he might -"

"Enough," Sasuke bit out, and Konan relented with a sigh.

Naruto stood. "I'll be right back. I need to go to the men's room."

Sasuke didn't miss the way Naruto's hands shook as he walked towards the back corner of the restaurant where the restrooms were located.

"What the fuck are you trying to pull, Konan?"

Konan met his gaze levelly. "He needs to be able to talk about it, Sasuke."

"You can't use any of his speculations about this boy in any of your -"

"Not about the _boy_. About _him_. Naruto needs to be able to talk about what happened to _him_ , and it is easier to do that when you are able to project it onto someone else first. To recognize what is happening to _them_ and how you think _they_ are affected by it. That little bit of separation can let him access some of his experiences with enough distance to actually process them, something that he clearly has never been able to do."

Sasuke pressed his lips together. "You aren't a psychologist or a psychiatrist. You're just _guessing_ , and I won't have you fucking with Naruto's head just because you think you know how to wind him up and make him go." Sasuke stood, shooting Konan a look. "I'm going to go check on him. But no more head games when he comes back."

Konan looked down. "I might not have the degree, but I've seen it a hundred times, Sasuke."

Sasuke looked back at her. "Maybe. But you can't ambush him with this. He's here to try to help someone else, not get blindsided."

Sasuke pushed the door open to the men's room, finding Naruto bent over the sink, splashing water on his face. Naruto didn't even glance back.

"Sorry. I don't know why I'm freaking out like this." Naruto shut off the water and walked over to the paper towels, ripping one off and drying his face.

Sasuke leaned against the clean, tiled wall. "She was digging. You don't have to talk about it."

Naruto crumpled the brown paper towel and tossed it into the garbage, then looked over at Sasuke, a rueful twist to his lips. "I'm twenty-five fucking years old, Sasuke. I should be over it by now. I'm not weak anymore. I got out of that shit."

Sasuke held his gaze unwaveringly. "You were never weak, Naruto. Even back then. You don't have anything to prove."

Naruto blinked, then looked down. "Maybe. But then I should have been able to talk to her about it, right?"

Sasuke shrugged. "You don't know her. You told her everything you knew about the kid. You don't owe her anything else. You've already done all you could... more than anyone else did. She was just fishing."

"Why?"

Sasuke blew out a short breath. "She's a friend of Itachi. She likes to mind-fuck people." Sasuke smiled slightly as Naruto let out a surprised bark of laughter, but they both quickly sobered. "Like I told you before. She thinks you need help dealing with this. She said it's easier to talk about a situation when it's involving someone else, rather than your own shit directly."

Naruto thought about it briefly, then let out a small, humorless huff. "Maybe. I think it would be easier to talk about, preferably with a bottle of something a hell of a long stronger than beer."

"We could do that, you know."

Naruto looked at him. "What?"

Sasuke shifted, levering himself away from the wall as someone else walked into the men's room.

"I'm just saying. If you ever want to. We could do that."

Naruto walked towards the doorway, and Sasuke thought he wasn't going to answer.

"Maybe. But just with you. Not her."

Sasuke followed him out, not sure why he felt like something huge had just happened between them.

They didn't linger over coffee with Konan when they returned to the table, quickly dividing the tab and heading out. Naruto had a plane to catch early the next morning, so Sasuke dropped him off at his place but Naruto promised he'd text him when he landed the next day.

Sasuke was surprised when his phone buzzed before he'd even pulled away from Naruto's apartment building, thinking the text was from Naruto. A muscle in his jaw spasmed when he saw the text was, in fact, from his brother.

 _Konan said you were very supportive of your 'boyfriend' this evening. I didn't realize there was news on this front. Bring Naruto with you this Saturday for dinner._

"Fuck," Sasuke swore to no one in particular. He briefly considered texting Itachi back and informing him that there _was no news_ on that front, and Konan was just sticking her nose in things, but he knew that Itachi would just call Naruto directly and invite him himself if Sasuke didn't agree.

Older brothers were such _assholes_ sometimes.

* * *

Sasuke was at work the next day when he saw his phone buzz, Naruto's name lighting up the screen.

 _There was a whole crowd of people down at the park this afternoon. I thought there must be a hooker giving out free head, but it turns out it was just crazy people playing Pokemon Go, and a bulbasaur was spawning in the park. Who knew?_

Sasuke gave a soft snort of laughter, earning a surprised look from Juugo. He quickly typed back a response before getting back to work.

 _Leave it to you to jump to the assumption of free head in a public park. Hopefully you didn't actually proposition anyone before you figured it out._

* * *

Naruto snickered when he saw the text from Sasuke. He adjusted the strap on his equipment bag as he walked to the site of his next shoot. He'd be lying if he said he'd slept well the night before. The conversation with Konan had shaken him, but every time his mind started to take him down a path he didn't want to go, he remembered the way Sasuke had looked at him in the men's room. There had been no pity, no derision. Sasuke had told Naruto that he wasn't being weak.

With most people, Naruto would think that they were just saying that to be nice, but that had never been Sasuke's MO. Sasuke would be the first person to call Naruto out if he were being a pussy about something. Sasuke didn't say things he didn't mean just to avoid pissing people off or hurting their feelings. Naruto could trust him to be straight with him. He drew a breath as he neared the address Jiraiya had sent him. He trusted Sasuke's judgement enough to maybe believe he was right.

He looked around the room, taking in the lighting and angles before choosing a place to set up his tripod, telling himself it was totally normal to miss a friend when you haven't even been gone a day. He sent Sasuke a quick text, asking if maybe they could grab lunch when he got back in two days.

* * *

"Kiba, look. I really appreciate the offer, but I just… I have plans." Naruto pinned the phone to his ear with his shoulder as he stuffed his notebook back into his bag, scanning the tables to see if Sasuke had arrived before him. "What do you mean, 'what plans'? _Plans_ , plans. Just -," he cut off as he turned to see Sasuke walking up behind him. "Hey, I've gotta go. Sasuke's here. Yes, we're having lunch. What? No, we're not -," Naruto made an apologetic expression to Sasuke. "Fuck you, Inuzuka. You've been spending too much time with your dogs. I'm hanging up now."

Sasuke arched a brow, an amused look in his dark eyes, and Naruto tried not to pay attention on how the expression seemed to set his blood humming.

"Kiba being his usual self?" Sasuke queried as they walked to an empty table and took a seat.

"Yeah. He's just…," Naruto rubbed the back of his head, suddenly feeling awkward about the topic that Kiba had called him about. Things had been going really well between him and Sasuke, and he didn't want to talk about anything that called out their past issues.

"Just?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto hoped Sasuke was going to drop the topic when the waitress appeared with their menus, but he wasn't that lucky.

"Is he trying to set you up with someone?" Sasuke's tone was casual, but Naruto didn't miss the way his long, pale fingers tightened slightly on the menu.

"No! No, he… uh, he just wanted me to come spend New Year's with his family," Naruto said, deciding that he'd rather just talk about it and get it over with than have Sasuke think… whatever it was Sasuke was thinking.

"But you have other plans," Sasuke stated, though Naruto could tell it was really more of a question. It would be the first New Year's they'd spend without the other in six years. They'd missed each other's birthdays this past year as well, so Naruto knew there were no expectations of anything, but still it felt awkward. So much had changed between them in the last few days, and they felt so much closer than they had been even before the breakup in some ways that Naruto had to keep reminding himself that they weren't actually together again.

"Sort of. I mean," Naruto looked at Sasuke, suddenly realizing that Sasuke would understand. "Kiba has this huge, super-tight family. It's awesome and everything, but I went a few times when I was a kid and Kiba invited me and…" Naruto shrugged. It had just been a huge reminder of everything he wanted, and everything he didn't have and wasn't likely to ever get.

"Yeah," Sasuke said, setting the menu down as the waiter approached to take their order.

Naruto didn't need to say anything more. Sasuke had his own family baggage, and he knew exactly what Naruto meant. It struck Naruto in that moment that maybe Sasuke understood him better than he understood himself. Sasuke had known that Naruto needed to be able to do something about the little boy he'd photographed. And he'd helped Naruto figure out what to do, and even come with him when he'd had the conversation with Konan.

Naruto's past experience with people seeing the 'damaged side' of him was that they would either cut and run, or they'd try to 'cheer him up', like watching a movie or going out would 'fix him'. People didn't realize that some things couldn't really be 'fixed'. The wounds might stop bleeding, but there would always be a scar. He'd never expected someone to actually understand him well enough to try to do something that really mattered like this. Or to take the time to even bother.

It turned everything upside down for him. He'd always felt like his connection to Sasuke was more than with anyone else, but after the last week he found himself struggling even more to think of Sasuke as just a friend. In reality, he was so much more than that, but the last thing Naruto wanted was to pay Sasuke back by pushing for more than the man wanted. If he could be best friends with Sasuke, then he would gladly take that over losing him altogether. But he was slowly realizing that - for him - there would never be anyone who came close to what Sasuke was to him. He was still in love with Sasuke, probably more now than ever. The realization was like a kick in the chest, but in some ways, it also steadied him. Even if Sasuke only saw him as a friend, he would at least have someone that he truly loved in his life. It might not be the fairytale that he'd wished for as a child, but it was a hell of a lot better than nothing.

He wasn't alone anymore, and that was enough.

"So you don't have plans, then?" Sasuke asked as the waiter walked away after taking their order.

"Actually, I, uh, booked a room up in Hokkaido. One of the hot spring places. Lots of winter hiking trails. I'd always wanted to go and check it out, but I never had the funds to actually do it before. I figured, it would be something cool to do."

Sasuke nodded, remembering Naruto talking about it back when they were in college, the expense of the trip far beyond their meager means at the time.

"Just you?" Sasuke asked and Naruto could almost feel the way Sasuke was avoiding asking about Gaara directly.

"Yeah. Everyone else has family stuff. It's fine," Naruto said, shrugging.

"Hn." Sasuke took a sip of the tea the waiter had brought for him.

"What about you?" Naruto asked, though he was a little bit afraid of the answer. He dreaded the day Sasuke arrived with news that he'd met someone and had started dating again, but he knew it would happen eventually. Just hopefully not right then.

"Itachi wanted to spend it with me, but I told him he should go back to our parents' house for the family New Year's."

Naruto blamed what happened next on the fact that he was busy watching the way Sasuke's tapered fingers held the cup of tea he was drinking, because he really had no justification for what came out of his mouth. "You could come with me to Hokkaido. I'm sure they'd let me switch the room from a single to a double."

Sasuke's eyes looked at him intently for a moment, and Naruto found himself back-peddling in case he'd overstepped the 'just friends' boundary. "I mean, just as friends. Unless you have plans. Or whatever. I'm just saying that… it sucks to be alone on the holidays, and this place had really good reviews. And food. If you wanted."

"Alright," Sasuke said, looking over at where a noisy group of young businessmen were sitting at a table, all braying loudly into their cell phones at the same time. His eyes narrowed slightly in annoyance.

"Yeah?" Naruto asked, feeling like somehow this was both the best and most horrible idea he'd ever had in his life.

Sasuke turned and looked at him, his face unreadable. "Sure. Why not. Like you said, they have good food, right?"

Naruto stumbled over himself to assure Sasuke about the quality of the food. Their lunch arrived shortly after, and Naruto tried very hard to not to stare too much at the way Sasuke's lips moved while he ate, or the way his throat worked when he swallowed. They talked about the latest news from Konan and Sasuke's new project. And how Sasuke's efforts to avoid his brother in general were going.

By the end of lunch, Naruto realized he was completely screwed. He was in so far over his head with Sasuke he didn't know what to do. But there was no way he was going to back out of the chance to spend three whole days with Sasuke, even if he spent every damn minute feeling like he was going to come out of his skin every time Sasuke licked his lips or pushed his hair back from his face.

He could do this.

"By the way," Sasuke said as they stood up to leave. "Itachi wants you to come to his place with us for dinner this Saturday."

Naruto could only stand there, frozen, as Sasuke grabbed his laptop bag and headed back to work.

Itachi would see through Naruto in about one point two seconds. Yeah. Naruto was definitely screwed.

* * *

Naruto insisted on being the one to drive up to Itachi's place. ' _If I need to make a run for it, I want the keys already in my pocket.'_ Sasuke had chuckled, but didn't argue about it. He understood the sentiment fully.

They had just entered town when Sasuke's phone buzzed. He frowned as he looked down at the message.

"Itachi's running late at the hospital. He won't be back for at least another hour."

Naruto glanced over at Sasuke before returning his attention to the road. "Does that mean we can turn around and go home?" He shot Sasuke a crooked grin that made Sasuke force himself to look out the window instead.

"Coward."

"Hey, I'll bet Itachi never threatened _your_ dick. Call me a coward all you want, but I say we make a break for it while we can."

Naruto continued driving, though, and Sasuke felt his lips curve slightly. It was rare for anyone to be able to hold their own against Itachi, but Naruto had had dinner with the man even after their break-up. Naruto could have said no… anyone else would have. But Naruto had agreed to Itachi's terms. Sasuke wasn't sure if it was out of respect for Itachi or Naruto's general refusal to be intimidated by anything life threw at him, but he knew that he didn't have to worry about Naruto with his brother. They honestly liked and respected each other, and Sasuke knew just how rare that was.

He glanced over, taking in Naruto's profile, how the strong, tan fingers held the steering wheel loosely while he drove.

Sasuke didn't generally like people. He interacted with them when he had to, but aside from Itachi, there had never been anyone in his life he even remotely trusted or wanted to spend time with outside of necessity, until Naruto.

When Naruto had left, Sasuke hadn't really known what to do. He'd kept pushing ahead at work, because that was what he was good at. His one attempt at dating after the breakup had only shown him that he hadn't gotten any better at letting people in. It was still just Itachi.

And Naruto.

Naruto must have felt Sasuke looking at him, and he turned to shoot a lopsided grin at Sasuke. "What? Something on my face?"

Sasuke was grateful that Naruto had to immediately look back at the road and missed the slight flush along his pale cheeks.

"That would only be an improvement," Sasuke said easily, relaxing against the seat, smiling slightly as Naruto reacted as expected.

"What?! Asshole. I am totally just as hot as you." Naruto threw him a sidelong glance. "Ok, well… no one is _really_ just as hot as you, but I'm a fucking sexy second place."

"Tch," Sasuke turned his face to look out the window, or he would do something stupid like tell Naruto _exactly_ how often he thought about having sex with him.

The past couple of weeks had been a test to Sasuke's willpower, but he was determined not to rush things. He hadn't been lying when he said he wanted to be Naruto's friend. And right now, that meant dealing with what Naruto needed, not what Sasuke wanted. Sasuke knew that pushing for 'upgrading' their relationship when Naruto had been in the state he was the last weekend would have been a dick move, so he'd held off. He didn't regret waiting, but ever since that night, Naruto had seemed to have pulled back, making no sign of wanting to move beyond the 'friendship' boundaries they had agreed on.

It was making Sasuke frustrated as hell.

He had maybe had a minor moment of panic when he thought Kiba was setting Naruto up with someone else (which Sasuke may or may not have momentarily thought about killing Kiba for), but in the end it had all been fine. Better than fine, actually, since they had ended up making plans to spend New Year's together.

Talking with Konan had been rough, but Naruto seemed to have pulled himself together after that. He'd had to talk to Konan's boss, and Naruto hadn't even flinched. Sasuke hummed, slanting another glance over at Naruto before turning back to look out the window, a slight smile on his lips.

* * *

Itachi wasn't there when they arrived at his apartment, but he had left the recipe for dinner on the counter, so Naruto and Sasuke started cooking. When an hour had passed and there was still no sign of Itachi, Sasuke decided they would swing by the hospital and see what was happening. They packed up some of the food they'd cooked in case he was getting pulled into another shift, though the fact that he hadn't responded to Sasuke's texts meant he was likely stuck in the OR.

Sasuke had gone to the nurses' station to find out what was going on. If Itachi was going to be tied up much longer, they'd just do dinner without him. It happened sometimes. Itachi's job wasn't exactly something he could walk out in the middle of the minute his shift was done.

Naruto was checking out the hospital vending machines, amused to note that doctors and nurses didn't seem to eat much healthier snacks than anyone else. A flash of blonde caught his eye, and Naruto looked up to see a woman in a white doctor's coat walking up to the same vending machines. Naruto's eyes widened in recognition, and he sucked in a breath so sharp he started to choke. The woman was wearing significantly more clothing than she had been when she posed for the painting that was hanging over his boss' mantle, but there was no mistaking either her face or remarkable figure.

The woman arched a brow at him, and Naruto could feel his face turn beet red.

"Are you alright?" the woman asked, her voice brisk and professional.

"Um… yes?" Naruto said in a strangled voice.

A pale hand landed on his shoulder and he nearly jumped.

"Naruto. I assume Sasuke got tired of waiting for me," Itachi glanced over to the vending machines. "I hope you didn't decide to come here instead of cooking dinner."

It was possibly the only time in Naruto's life he had felt a surge of relief at seeing Itachi.

"No. I mean, yes. Sasuke's here. We brought you dinner, since we didn't know how late you'd be." Naruto glanced back at the blonde woman who was in the process of purchasing something from the machine.

"I see you've met my boss, Dr. Senju Tsunade. Dr. Senju, this is Sasuke's… friend, Naruto."

Naruto could still feel his face flaming as he turned to shake hands with the woman, making _very sure_ his eyes stayed locked on her face.

"Nice to meet you," Naruto choked out. He could feel Itachi's curious gaze, and only prayed he didn't say anything about it until after the doctor had left.

Tsunade looked at Naruto with mild curiosity, likely more due to his odd behavior than Itachi's introduction. "I see. Are you an engineer as well, then?"

"Um… no, ma'am. I'm a, um, photographer."

Itachi arched a brow, clearly puzzled at Naruto's behavior. "He recently got hired as a staff photographer at Sanin Media. I believe I showed you the travel piece his work was featured in."

Tsunade's face went completely still, her eyes focused on Naruto, who was carefully looking absolutely anywhere except her.

"The old pervert never burned that painting, did he?" she asked, her hands gripping the tablet she was holding with enough force that Naruto half expected it to snap in half.

"Um… no, ma'am."

"I see. Well, Naruto, it was nice meeting you. You'd best call your employer to see if he has any final instructions for you. It's likely he will be out of commission for quite some time in the immediate future." She turned and walked off, her blood red heels clicking dangerously on the tiled floor.

"Holy shit. He's so dead," Naruto breathed out, grateful he was not going to be on the receiving end of that woman's wrath.

Naruto turned to find Sasuke walking up, Itachi's gaze fixed on Naruto. "Are you going to explain to me what just happened between you and my boss?" Itachi asked.

"Do I have to?" Naruto countered.

"Yes."

* * *

Itachi had gratefully and efficiently eaten the food they'd brought, then they'd all headed back to Itachi's place. Naruto had grumbled good naturedly that they'd technically met their 'Saturday dinner' obligation, but he still followed Itachi's car back to the apartment.

"So, Naruto," Itachi said casually as he unlocked his door. "Last I heard you were dating a sex club owner. Then Konan calls me up this week to tell me what a good boyfriend my little brother was being to you. Care to explain?"

Naruto froze midway through removing his shoes, but Sasuke just rolled his eyes.

"Fuck off, Itach'. If you dragged him here to interrogate him, we're leaving."

Itachi arched a brow at Naruto, unholy amusement shining in his dark eyes. "He's so protective of you, isn't he?"

"Or maybe he just likes to argue with you," Naruto offered, shooting a relieved glance Sasuke's way that Sasuke wasn't exactly sure how to interpret.

"Hm. Probably in the vain hope that he will one day manage to actually win."

Sasuke glared at Itachi as he went into the kitchen. "It's interesting that Konan seems to have you on speed dial. You usually don't give the women you work with your personal number. Care to explain?" he said, the slight mocking tone clear as he repeated Itachi's words back to him.

To Naruto's extreme elation, Itachi's cheeks actually seemed to pinken at the words.

"Holy shit, Sasuke! Your brother might not actually be the devil after all. I think you just made him blush!"

Sasuke's low laughter drifted out from the kitchen.

With the threat of further interrogation about Konan hanging over Itachi's head, the conversation for the rest of the evening was relatively tame. They discussed their work, the latest news on the upcoming elections, and Itachi's amusement at Naruto and Sasuke's new hobby of rock climbing, and the fact that if they really wanted to 'play with ropes', they could have figured that out a long time ago.

Naruto was pulling on his jacket when Itachi walked over to them, sipping his coffee.

"Still going to be difficult about New Year's? It's only a week away, Otouto. You'll finally get the attention you've always craved. Even Uncle Obito was asking about you last week."

Naruto stilled, his eyes snapping up to look at Sasuke. He had been planning on spending New Year's alone before his spontaneous invitation to Sasuke, but since Sasuke had agreed, Naruto would be lying if he said he hadn't been looking forward to having Sasuke all to himself for three entire days, even if it was just platonic.

"What's that about New Year's?" Naruto asked, looking at Itachi, then Sasuke.

"I already told you I wasn't going to go. I've made other plans," Sasuke replied tersely to Itachi.

Itachi looked from Naruto's face to Sasuke's, and a darkly delighted look appeared in his eyes.

"I see. Well, I'm sure your New Year's will prove to be much more entertaining than what Uncle Obito or Madara could provide. Especially if Naruto has acquired some new skills from his most recent… set of experiences."

"We're leaving now, Itachi. I'm sure your next conversation with Konan will be fascinating. Especially when I send her the pictures I took when you came back from your first legal night out at the bar on your twentieth birthday."

"You wouldn't." Itachi's voice showed an uncertainty that Naruto took great pleasure in.

Sasuke only smiled, closing the door behind them as they headed home.

* * *

They walked to the car in somewhat awkward silence.

"Your brother is still a total bastard," Naruto said finally. "If you have embarrassing, drunk photos of him, how could you have _not_ let me see them?" Naruto asked as they got into his car.

Sasuke smirked. "Because then Itachi would definitely have had to kill you. I've been saving them for just the right occasion."

"Shit, I would pay money for those," Naruto laughed, and Sasuke gave him an amused look. "Are they just… Itachi passed out or looking dumb kind of photos or like… drunken orgy photos?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "You're the one who likes to take sex photos, not me."

"I don't take… God, you sound like Kiba."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes, not happy with the comparison. "You hang out in sex clubs, people are likely to comment."

Naruto groaned, blushing. "Ugh, I wish everyone would just let that drop already. I went into the place like… _three_ times for work, and that's it. Kiba keeps asking me all this crazy stuff, but it turns out Shika is the one he should be talking to. Who knew?"

Sasuke turned to look at Naruto. "I thought you were dating the owner of the club?"

Naruto shrugged. "Yeah. I mean, sort of. Like I told you, it wasn't really serious."

"Serious enough that you were sleeping with him, though."

"Well, yeah. But not at the _club_. I mean, it was interesting to… see it… when I did the shoot, but… that's not really my scene."

Sasuke was quiet for a moment, oddly relieved at the statement. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I mean… a little bondage is fine. You liked it, too, as I recall," Naruto waggled his eyebrows at him, but Sasuke could tell he was just deflecting. He shot Naruto a look saying as much, and Naruto shrugged, turning back to the road. "Whatever. It's not a big deal, but having someone beat my ass with a flogger or a belt or whatever, I had enough of that shit growing up. Not a turn-on for me."

Sasuke watched him for a moment, but didn't say anything more.

"So, uh… what was Itachi saying about New Year's?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Just family bullshit. As usual."

Naruto glanced over at him. "Hm. Usually your family leaves you alone. What's up with them bothering you about New Year's this time?"

Sasuke looked out the window. "One of my uncles saw an article about me. Evidently my parents now think I'm 'worth' actually making an effort to invite to New Year's this year, rather than just a perfunctory message delivered through Itachi."

Naruto pulled off to the side of the road, turning to face him fully. "Holy shit, Sasuke! That's… that's huge. Why aren't you going?"

"Tch. Why would I? They never gave a shit before."

"I know. But…," Naruto looked at Sasuke, confusion taking over his face. "I mean, I'm the first person who's going to say what a bunch of jerks I think your parents are, but this is what you always wanted, isn't it? For them to finally pull their heads of out their asses and see how fucking awesome you are? Even if it is like… twenty years late."

Sasuke's lips twisted into a bitter smile. "What, so they can show me off, take credit for my accomplishments even though they didn't care whether I succeeded or failed as long as I did it on my own dime? No, thanks."

Naruto looked at him curiously. "But don't you just want to go and show them all that you did it?"

Sasuke looked at Naruto. "Itachi has to show up and let my parents show him off because they paid for his schooling. I don't have the same obligation. Besides, I'm already spending it with you. You changed the room, right?"

Naruto nodded. "Yeah. We're all set for next week, but like… I wouldn't be upset if you wanted to go home, Sasuke. We could get together a different weekend. Holidays should be family time."

"Exactly," Sasuke said, looking at the road.

Naruto blinked. "But…"

"Are we just going to sit here on the side of the road all night, or are you going to actually drive us home."

Naruto just stared at Sasuke, his eyes wide. Then he grinned, and pulled back out into the light, late-night traffic.

New Year's couldn't come soon enough.

* * *

Naruto had taken a cab from his place to Sasuke's, since they would be taking Sasuke's car up to the resort in Hokkaido. It still made Naruto feel a heady twist of exhilaration and anxiety that they would be spending three complete days together, sharing a room. They'd booked one with two beds, and it didn't make sense to fork out the cash for an extra room, but it still had his mind buzzing. He wouldn't have thought twice about sharing the room with Kiba or Shika or Shino. In fact, he's shared a _bed_ with those guys and barely noticed except that Shika hogged the blankets and Kiba snored.

But the idea of being in the same room as Sasuke for seventy-two hours… seeing Sasuke come out of the bathroom after he showers, hearing the sound of the blankets rustle as Sasuke got into bed… Naruto groaned slightly, feeling his blood start to heat just at the thought. He wondered if he should just sleep in his jeans, which would at least do _some_ thing to disguise the hard-on he was likely going to be sporting all night, sleeping just feet from Sasuke.

He paid the cab and was just slinging his bag over his shoulder when a car sped by, hitting a puddle of dirty, freezing water and spraying it all over Naruto's face and chest.

"Mother _fucker!"_ Naruto cursed, feeling the gritty, frigid water slide down his neck under his collar. His hair, jacket, and shirt were soaked. Luckily, his bag had been behind him and been spared.

Shivering, he jogged up the steps of Sasuke's apartment building, wiping his face on his coat sleeve and grimacing at the smear of mud that appeared on it. "Just fucking great," he muttered to himself. Not that he was expecting anything sexual to happen between him and Sasuke, but he would have liked to not show up at the man's door looking like he'd spent the day rolling around in mud rather than just having taken a shower.

He knocked on Sasuke's door. Sasuke's eyes widened fractionally when he opened the door and took in Naruto's appearance, but the surprised was quickly gone and replaced by a coolly arched eyebrow.

"Should I even ask?" Sasuke said drily, stepping back to let Naruto in, his black jeans and dark red sweater immaculate by contrast. Naruto steeled himself against how impossibly attractive Sasuke looked standing casually in the doorway.

"Some asshole decided it would be fun to hit a big puddle of slush at double the speed limit just outside your place," Naruto grumbled, pulling off his jacket and grimacing at the dirty water covering it.

Sasuke took the coat, examining the damage. "It's water resistant so I should be able to just wipe most of this off." He glanced over to Naruto's dirty hair and neck. "The rest of you might need an actual wash, though."

"Ugh," Naruto said, running a hand through his hair. Sasuke's apartment was warm, but the icy water had chilled him through. "Yeah, let me just go wash up, then we can head out."

"Hn," Sasuke murmured in assent as he took Naruto's jacket into the kitchen to clean it off.

Naruto unzipped his bag, quickly digging out a fresh shirt he could change into, and glad he had packed a spare change of clothing 'just in case'. He hadn't expected the 'just in case' to happen before he'd left the fucking street that Sasuke lived on, but he was just happy to be able to change into something clean and dry.

He walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him as he pulled off his shirt. He was really only dirty down to his collarbone, so he figured he'd just wash up in the sink rather than wasting time on a full shower when he'd just had one less than an hour before. He turned the faucet on, washing off his hands and ducking his head under the tap to get the dirt off. The water was cold, since he had been too impatient to let it warm up properly and his skin pebbled out in goosebumps. When he'd gotten at least the majority of the dirt off him, he turned to grab a towel but discovered belatedly that there wasn't one. He remembered that Sasuke always liked to wash the sheets and towels before he went away, not liking the idea of coming back to a dirty apartment. He probably hadn't had time to put a clean towel back on the towel rack before they left.

"Shit." He grabbed his dirty t-shirt, using the relatively clean bottom half of it to at least get the rivulets of cold water that were running down his chest and back. It was more habit than being invasive when he quickly opened the door, rubbing the shirt through his hair to try to catch more of the water as he stepped into the hallway to the linen closet where he assumed Sasuke still kept the towels. He opened the closet door, his hand automatically going to the shelf where they towels always had been when he froze, his hand slowly moving over to land on a bright orange towel, perfectly folded and set off to the side of the stack of matching black towels.

For a moment, Naruto stood completely still. It was just a towel. It really… didn't mean anything. Except that it _did_ , because Sasuke _never_ kept things that didn't serve a specific purpose. Naruto had had to talk him out of throwing away the diploma he'd received when he'd graduated college because ' _No one is going to ask to see it. If they want my academic record they'll call the school or check online.'_ Naruto had had it framed for him, along with the photo he'd taken of Sasuke accepting his diploma and shaking the Dean of the engineering department's hand.

Why had Sasuke kept his towel? He'd always complained about the color. And the towel was getting old, not nearly as soft and hole-free as Sasuke's. It didn't even look like it had been used recently, sitting off to the side, so it wasn't as though Sasuke had been short of towels and needed an extra.

He looked up to see Sasuke coming from the kitchen holding his jacket. Sasuke slowed down, his eyes moving to lock on the orange towel that Naruto had just pulled from the closet.

* * *

Sasuke froze at the sight of Naruto standing shirtless in the hallway, holding his orange towel with a frozen, puzzled look on his face.

There were so many thing going on in Sasuke's head at once that - for a moment - he didn't remember that he needed to continue breathing. The tattoo that he'd caught glimpses of over the past several weeks was now fully bared to his view, the intricate details of it wrapping around Naruto's left shoulder, trailing down to just above his nipple - which was pebbled hard possibly due to the water that was dripping down from his wet hair - and disappearing over onto his back out of Sasuke's sight.

The image of Naruto's lean, contoured body would have been bad enough for him to deal with, but Naruto was also holding the orange towel that Sasuke had been pretending he _hadn't_ been foolishly keeping, hidden in his small linen closet where he would see whenever he did laundry. While most people would not think anything about that fact, the stunned, searching expression on Naruto's face told Sasuke Naruto knew _exactly_ what the implications of that towel were.

They stood there, staring at each other for a moment. A bead of water ran down Naruto's neck, trailing down along the defined arc of Naruto's pectoral. Naruto shivered, and the movement snapped Sasuke out of his trance.

"Idiot," he said, stepping closer and taking the towel from Naruto's hands and wrapping it around his shoulders. "Don't just stand there and freeze."

Even to his own ears, Sasuke's voice sounded low and rough. He stepped back, careful to not let his fingers touch Naruto's skin. He knew his own limits. But he couldn't help his gaze from dropping to the dip of Naruto's collarbone, only partially concealed by the towel.

"Sasuke," Naruto began, and Sasuke forced his eyes to meet Naruto's.

The tip of Naruto's tongue ran quickly over his lower lip, definitely in nerves, not arousal, Sasuke told himself, but it was hard to focus with Naruto standing there, the towel loosely covering his bare shoulders but plenty of Naruto's body still on display, the blue eyes looking so fucking _earnestly_ at Sasuke that he had to turn and get the hell out of there before he did something that would ruin any chance he had at convincing Naruto he could be 'just friends'.

"Wait," Naruto's hand landed on Sasuke's shoulder as he turned away.

"Naruto -," Sasuke said, warningly.

"No. You're not walking away. I let you get away with that 'family' comment the other night because I wasn't sure… but not this time. Sasuke, look at me." Naruto's voice had taken that tone that told Sasuke he was not going to back down. It only added to the dark rush of arousal that Sasuke was battling, but it would only draw more attention to his actions if he continued to try to walk away.

"What?" He snapped out, turning to face Naruto with a dismissive expression on his face. "It's a towel. You're cold and wet. Put those two together and let's get going. We're trying to beat the traffic, remember?"

"Fuck you, Sasuke," Naruto stepped in closer, and Sasuke had to fight the urge to step back and maintain the distance between them, like he should. Or step forward and close it completely, like he wanted to. "Why did you keep my towel?"

Sasuke managed what he hoped as a believable snort of dismissiveness. "You're the one who left it."

Naruto's gaze searched his face, and Sasuke could almost swear he could physically feel when Naruto's eyes moved along his cheekbones to his lips, then back up to meet his gaze. Normally, Sasuke wouldn't be worried that anyone would be able to read something in his expression that he wasn't willing to let them, but Naruto had always known him better.

Naruto seemed to reach some sort of conclusion, because he took another half-step closer. Their bodies weren't quite touching, but if Sasuke moved forward at all, they would be. His muscles locked to keep himself in place.

"Yeah. I did leave it." Naruto spoke the words as though there were a challenge. Or an admission.

Sasuke's brain was having trouble getting any further than that, because quick glance told Sasuke that Naruto's goose bumps had disappeared from his skin, but his nipples were still pebble hard.

The awareness of that singular detail held Sasuke attention with an absolute focus. The temperature in his apartment seemed to jump suddenly.

"I figured you'd just throw it out, but I left it behind." Naruto's voice was rougher now, a huskier edge that the lower portion of Sasuke's anatomy definitely recognized and was starting to respond to. "You're usually pretty ruthless about throwing shit out, Sasuke."

The question in Naruto's statement was obvious, but Sasuke didn't reply. His jaw tightened at the predatory look that flared in Naruto's blue eyes, darkening them and making them look almost electric.

"I think you kept it for a reason," Naruto continued, his gaze dropping briefly to Sasuke's lips before moving back to his face.

Sasuke wasn't sure how Naruto glancing at his lips seemed to be hard-wired directly to the amount of blood that was rapidly filling his dick, but there was no denying the abrupt tightness in Sasuke's jeans.

"And what reason would that be?" Sasuke bit out.

Naruto gave a slow, dark smile that caused the small hairs on the back of Sasuke's wrists to stand on end and his balls to tighten.

"All this time, I've been so fucking confused. You said you wanted to be friends, and I figured…" Naruto drew a breath in through his teeth. "... that you weren't interested in anything else anymore. I mean, you had seemed to have pretty much lost interest in me by the end." Sasuke frowned. There were so many things wrong with what Naruto had just said that he didn't know where to start, but Naruto was already continuing. "But that wasn't it, was it? You're not…," Naruto glanced down, where Sasuke was very sure his erection was quite obvious, despite the best effort of his jeans. "... you're not looking very disinterested, Sasuke."

"You were seeing someone else," Sasuke said, his hands moving up of their own accord to grab the ends of the towel he'd only recently placed on Naruto's shoulders. This time, they removed it, baring Naruto's skin to Sasuke's gaze. Naruto's eyes slid to half closed, and Sasuke would bet a year's salary that the goosebumps that shivered across the tan chest this time were not from cold. The thought briefly flickered through Sasuke's mind that he should be trying to slow things down. Naruto hadn't been broken up with Gaara for much more than a week. But a lot had happened in that week.

"I'm not seeing anyone now," Naruto murmured, the fingers of his right hand slipping into the waistband of Sasuke's jeans, tugging him forward so that their bodies were flush against each other. They both froze, waiting for permission or rejection from the other, their harsh breathing loud in the silence of the narrow hallway. Sasuke could feel the hard ridge of Naruto's erection against his own, could smell the scent of Naruto's shampoo and the faint trace of his own hand soap that Naruto must have used to wash the dirt off his face.

"If you've been worried about being the rebound -," Naruto's breath was hot against Sasuke's ear, and Sasuke's entire body shuddered at the feel of it. " - then you really didn't have to bother. I never got over you to begin with. I left without a fight because I thought I was just holding you back."

Sasuke didn't even realized he'd surged forward and pinned Naruto against the wall until he heard the low sound of approval in Naruto's throat. Naruto's fingers were fisting into his hair, and Sasuke could feel the slick, hot pressure of Naruto's tongue on his lips as Naruto licked his way into Sasuke's mouth, tasting of toothpaste and mouthwash.

Sasuke groaned into Naruto's parted lips, his hands closing reflexively, desperately over the firm, anti-gravity curve of Naruto's ass as he pulled their bodies together with more force. Sasuke forced himself to pull back from the kiss, though he kept his vice-grip on Naruto's body.

"You weren't," Sasuke's voice was low and rough, but he had to say it now or he knew he never would. "You weren't holding me back. I was just… Everything was so fucked up when you left, Naruto. Nothing was… I didn't know-"

Naruto's lips were back on his before he could finish whatever garbled statement that he had been trying to make. Which was probably all for the best given Sasuke's track record of being able to articulate what he was feeling. He thanked god Naruto didn't need flowery words. Sasuke had always been better at showing than telling. They both had. Naruto's hand slid between his legs and began palming Sasuke through his jeans, and Sasuke stopped thinking.

This was what he needed. Just this. His parents and Kabuto and fucking _Gaara_ and everyone else could go fuck themselves, because he wasn't going to lose sight of Naruto again.

"Fuck, yes," he gritted out, his head falling back slightly. Naruto's lips latched onto the pale column of Sasuke's throat and sucked harshly, likely leaving a dark bruise. Sasuke reveled in the show of possessiveness, pressing forward, desperate to feel more contact between them, more friction. Naruto's hand was trapped awkwardly between their bodies, and Sasuke shifted his hips slightly to grab Naruto's wrists before pinning them to the wall next to Naruto's head as their hips thrust against each other.

Naruto made a sound of frustration that echoed Sasuke's own lust-blown feelings. This wasn't going fast enough. Sasuke felt like he had been waiting forever for this, and he had zero patience for the ridiculous amount of clothing that still seemed to be separating them.

"Bed. Now," Naruto grated out, placing a filthy, bruising kiss on Sasuke's mouth.` He twisted his wrists free of Sasuke's grip, fisting his hands painfully back into Sasuke's hair to tilt his head back more, make his mouth open wider for him.

 _Yes, just like this_. The words didn't make it past Sasuke's mouth, because it had better things to do, but they echoed through him like a mantra. No one made him lose control like Naruto did. No one made his mind to white and his body surge with aggressiveness like Naruto. The reality that Naruto was taking him back, that he hadn't lost all of this left him shaking and momentarily dizzy with a combination of panic and bone-crushing relief. He didn't realize he had frozen up until Naruto stopped kissing him.

"Hey. You ok?" Naruto pulled back, looking at him in concern and Sasuke realized his fingers were gripping Naruto's wrists with bruising force, as though afraid he would slip away again.

"Yeah, I…," Sasuke's throat felt tight, and he leaned forward, resting his forehead against Naruto's, taking in the solid presence of the man he'd almost lost for good. "... just… didn't think this would happen." He forced himself to loosen his grip on Naruto's forearms, but couldn't quite make himself let go.

Naruto didn't seem to mind as he combed his fingers through Sasuke's hair before letting them rest loosely on the back of his neck.

"Yeah. Well… let's not fuck it up this time." Naruto's firm, confident voice grounded Sasuke. They both had baggage, but now at least they knew what it was. It wouldn't be perfect, but they were walking into it with their eyes open this time and wouldn't make the same mistakes they had before.

Sasuke ran his hands along the sharp ridge of Naruto's jaw, drawing their mouths together again. He'd missed so many things about Naruto. His directness. His assertiveness. The feel of his body and the scent of his skin. The way he knew what Sasuke felt without having to be told.

"Missed you," Sasuke lifted his lips off Naruto's just enough to murmur against them.

Naruto's grip tightened on the back of Sasuke's neck, and then Naruto's hands were in his hair again, pulling their mouths together harshly, their teeth clicking against each other. He feels the tip of Naruto's tongue sliding along his teeth before moving back along Sasuke's own tongue, as though re-memorizing once familiar territory.

Another thing he'd missed about Naruto… the way he always went all-in, whether it was fighting or fucking or just kissing. Everything they'd been together came rushing back to him in a flood of sensory memories.

From where he stood, looking down at Naruto, Sasuke could see the intricate design of the tattoo trailing down over Naruto's shoulder to snake down his spine, disappearing into the waistband of his jeans. His brain was struggling to process anything beyond the vast expanse of tan skin over sharply contoured muscles, but he vaguely recognized symbols of both Japanese and traditional Samoan cultures. He promised himself he'd look more at it later as he felt Naruto's hand settle on his hips.

He looked down to see Naruto staring at his bared torso, an almost reverent expression on his face. Naruto slowly slid his right hand up from Sasuke's hip bone, splaying it flat over the hard, flat surface of Sasuke's stomach, making a small circle just where the fine trail of black hair disappeared into his jeans.

"I forgot how fucking perfect you are." Naruto's voice was low and hushed, like one would use in a temple or place of worship. Sasuke felt a shudder ripple through him as Naruto let his hand move slowly up over the plane of Sasuke's stomach, turning his wrist so his thumb could flick against the tight bud of his nipple.

"Fuck, Naruto." Sasuke clenched his jaw, his body acutely aware of the hand that moved over his chest, and the other that was frustratingly still on his hip bone. Despite the temptation to grab Naruto's wrist and force the idle hand to move where he desperately wanted it, he slid his hands along Naruto's shoulders, feeling the hard muscles moving beneath the warm skin.

For the moment, Sasuke enjoyed his ability to touch… the fact that he finally had permission to do so again.

Naruto leaned forward, kissing just above Sasuke's navel, both hands shifting to grip Sasuke's hips more firmly as he sucked slow, biting kisses down Sasuke's stomach until he hit the edge of his jeans.

"God, yes," Sasuke said, letting his head fall back.

Naruto made a low sound in his throat as he looked up at him, blue eyes nearly black with lust. "Perfect."

. . .

He started to pick up the pace, feeling the prickle of sweat between his shoulder blades, watching the way Naruto's skin sheened in the light.

"Did you think of me?" Sasuke rasped out, feeling Naruto's body tight around him. He could see the marks on Naruto's neck darkening, but it still wasn't enough. He didn't want to think of anyone else ever getting this but him. He needed Naruto. Needed all of him. "After you left, did you think of me?"

Naruto abruptly locked his legs around Sasuke's torso, holding him in place. His eyes latched onto Sasuke's with equal force. Sasuke's brain caught up with what he'd just said, and he wondered for a moment if Naruto was going to shove him off.

Instead, Naruto gripped his face harshly, pulling him down into a fierce kiss. Naruto's tongue was demanding and filthy, fucking into Sasuke's mouth like it had always belonged there. Naruto ended the kiss just as abruptly, looking at Sasuke with an expression like he was about to jump off a cliff and wasn't fully sure if there was water below him or not. "I want you to fuck me from behind."

Sasuke didn't move for a moment, unsure what was happening and why Naruto seemed so tense about it. They'd fucked in just about every position imaginable in the past, and it had never been an issue. Before he could ask, Naruto was already gripping the base of Sasuke's cock to hold the condom on as he shifted back, pulling Sasuke out. Naruto rolled over, resting on his knees and forearms. Sasuke's hand automatically followed, trailing along the toned arch of Naruto's back to the hard curve of his ass. He could see a shiny string of precum drip from Naruto's cock to Sasuke's sheets, but there was a trembling tension in Naruto that Sasuke wasn't sure he understood.

Sasuke slid his hand up along Naruto's back, feeling the dip along Naruto's spine, trying to ease some of the tension that had inexplicably come over his lover.

"We can slow down," Sasuke murmured, shifting forward to place a kiss on Naruto's rigid shoulder, his brows drawing together in concern. He didn't want Naruto to be nervous, and didn't understand what had happened. Sasuke sat up, letting both hands trail slowly, calmingly over Naruto's skin, noticing the raw beauty of the inkwork on his body as he waited for Naruto to relax.

"Talk to me, Naruto," he said, continuing the soothing movement of his hands, his eyes following the sight of where his hands touched Naruto's body, his fingers absently trailing along some of the markings… the black koi fish, some of the more tribal patterns, the nine-tailed demon fox that Naruto had always been fascinated with. The intricate designs, terminated at the base of Naruto's spine, just at the swell of Naruto's ass, into a final Japanese symbol, one that Sasuke was intimately familiar with.

Sasuke's body froze, his breath stuck somewhere in his chest as the full implications of what he was looking at hit him.

The small fan, the top arc shaded in, the bottom half only outlined. It was small, easily covered by the palm of Sasuke's hand as he placed it over the mark, slowly trailing his fingers down to brush over it, then trace its outline. But the meaning of it was unmistakable. Sasuke watched almost hypnotized as his fingers brushed over his family crest, Naruto's skin tightening beneath his touch into tiny goosebumps that raced over his skin.

The possessiveness he'd felt at seeing his temporary marks on Naruto's neck paled in comparison to the dark surge that flooded him at the sight of the permanent tattoo.

"You wanted to know if I thought about you, Sasuke?" Naruto looked back at Sasuke over his shoulder, his expression uncertain but challenging at the same time.

Sasuke had no such uncertainty. He growled, leaning down, licking the mark on Naruto's skin, then swirling his tongue further down, gripping Naruto's hips harshly as the man pulled forward, away from his mouth. Sasuke shifted forward, laying his chest flat against Naruto's back, feeling the rapid rise and fall of both their breathing.

"I love it." Sasuke almost didn't recognize his own voice, dark and full of everything he was feeling but couldn't express.

Naruto breathed out a choking laugh, full of relief and arousal. "Yeah?"

"Hm," Sasuke nodded, brushing his lips against the damp skin at the base of Naruto's neck. "I'm going to fuck you until the only word you can remember is my name."

"God, yes." Naruto arched his neck back, as his fingers dug harshly into the sheets beneath them, his breathing raspy and shallow.

Sasuke wasn't sure how long they had been lying there when Naruto finally shifted forcing Sasuke to withdraw. Naruto rolled over to face him, a look of complete satiation and happiness radiating from the blue eyes that watched him steadily.

"I don't think we're going to make it to Hokkaido tonight," Naruto said, showing not a spec of regret about that fact.

"I'm not sure we're going to make it to Hokkaido tomorrow, either," Sasuke replied, his eyes drifting to Naruto's slightly parted lips.

Naruto hummed. "The room I booked has a private hot spring. If we make it up there, I can get you naked in it."

Sasuke looked at him consideringly. He supposed it wasn't fair to keep Naruto from the vacation he'd planned.

Naruto slanted him a grin. "And I've heard the hot springs have… recuperative properties."

Sasuke slid his hand up over the curve of Naruto's hip. "It would be a shame not to take advantage of that."

Naruto's eyes sparkled. "Exactly."

* * *

 ** _Epilogue - 6 months later_**

Naruto looked up as Sasuke walked into their apartment. Sasuke's tie was loosened, his hair looking like he'd raked his fingers through it somewhat more aggressively than usual as he removed his suit jacket and hung it over the chair. Naruto grinned as Sasuke's eyes slid over the tight, worn jeans that Naruto was wearing with the fitted white henley as he closed his laptop, where he'd been editing the latest batch of his photos.

Sasuke had moved into Naruto's place only two months ago, both of them agreeing they'd rather start over into a new space rather than have Naruto move back to their old one, where so much had gone wrong before.

He was a little later than usual, but not late enough that Naruto had started to worry. He'd texted Naruto earlier, letting him know he'd be late but that Naruto didn't need to start dinner before he got there. They'd figured out a rhythm, balancing Naruto's occasional out-of-town work with Sasuke's increased responsibility, but they'd both been making a conscious effort to have dinner with each other at least four nights a week, and no work on weekends except for a couple of hours Sunday night. They'd already gone on five climbs together, their new hobby providing both an outlet for their rivalry and an excuse to take trips together and get away from work.

Gaara and Shikamaru had started dating (though not exclusively), which was probably the only reason Sasuke tolerated Gaara's occasional presence when they all got together, though it was clear the two men would never be good friends.

"Hey. How was work?"

Sasuke looked over at him as he walked to the kitchen. "I had an interesting phone call today."

Naruto paused at the odd tone in Sasuke's voice. He stood and followed Sasuke into the kitchen. "Everything ok?"

Sasuke shrugged, taking a glass down from the cupboard. "I got a job offer."

"A good one?" It wasn't unusual for head hunters to call Sasuke, but this was the first time Sasuke had brought it up like this.

"I would start at three times my current salary, plus some pretty aggressive stock options."

Naruto blinked. That was… a shitload of money.

"It's at a startup in Tokyo. The woman who called me is the CEO. She promised me a full partnership stake in the company, and an executive role when it goes public."

"Tokyo," Naruto said, trying to process what Sasuke was saying. His job didn't really require him to be in any particular place. They _could_ move to Tokyo. He was nervous about what their life would be if Sasuke was working at a startup, though. He'd heard enough rumors about the engineers sleeping under their desks due to the long hours and high pressure of working there.

But there was no doubt that this would be a fantastic opportunity for Sasuke. If the start-up took off, the money he would make as well as the prestige he would have would be well beyond what he would achieve in working for years in a traditional company.

"Anyone I've heard of?" Naruto asked

"Terumi Mei," Sasuke said, as though he wasn't mentioning one of the most successful serial entrepreneurs in the country. She was smart, ambitious, and… incredibly good-looking. "I'm going to tell her no," Sasuke said casually as he opened the fridge, looking around for a moment before taking out the orange juice and pouring himself a glass.

"Just like that?" Naruto asked, shocked.

Sasuke shrugged. "Unless you want me to take it. Unlike _someone_ , I wanted to talk to you about it first. But it would be long hours and very high stakes. Mei might have had good luck so far, but start-ups can go either way."

Naruto grimaced slightly as he thought back to the way he'd made a similar call right out of college, but hadn't talked to Sasuke at all about it.

"I don't want to hold you back, Sasuke. If this is what you want -"

Sasuke's eyes narrowed, temper edging his voice. "If I wanted it, I wouldn't be planning on telling her no. I already have a good job. And I don't have to worry about the company I work for going under overnight."

"Ok, I just… this is a huge opportunity. Are you sure? I want you to be happy, Sasuke."

"I'm sure. We tried it the other way before, remember? It didn't work."

Naruto bit his lip, guilt and uncertainty clear in his expression. Sasuke sighed, walking over to him, settling his hand on Naruto's hips, forcing him to meet his gaze.

"I am absolutely sure. You said you wanted me to be happy right?"

Naruto gave a short nod.

"Then let me say no. Unless you want the money?" Sasuke said, a brow arched.

Naruto laughed, shoving Sasuke back a step. "Asshole. I don't give a fuck about the money."

"Then I'll tell her no," Sasuke said simply. "I don't have anything more to prove."

Naruto smirked, relief and happiness in his expression. "She probably just wanted to get in your pants, anyway," he joked.

Sasuke rolled his eyes, but he hooked his fingers into Naruto's belt loops, tugging him closer. "We should order out. Celebrate my path to non-millionaire status." He leaned in, brushing his lips across the under-side of Naruto's jaw. "Maybe go to bed early."

Naruto arched a brow, sliding his hands along the smooth leather of Sasuke's belt. "I could totally be on board with that. But maybe we could switch the order. Bed now. Food later."

"Done," Sasuke said, not resisting at all as Naruto began walking them backwards to their bedroom.

* * *

 ** _The end._**

A/N: - Oh my god. This chapter NEVER WANTED TO LET ME END IT. Holy shit. For those of you reading me for the first time, this is about as close to fluff as I will ever get. I always cringe when I read big love declarations between these two, because it just feels so OOC for me. I think I've only managed Sasuke to actually say the words twice in all the fics I've written. But I think it's more important to show it, anyway, and I think he's much better at that.

As for Naruto's and Sasuke's bad childhoods, I want to try to be as realistic as possible with how I wrapped those up as well. Naruto is never going to be 'all better' and Sasuke is never going to have a loving relationship with his parents. It just… doesn't work that way. But they can own that aspect of their lives and move on, which is what I had them doing here. So… it's not all wrapped up nicely in a bow. But at least they are better prepared for what's going to come their way, one way or another.


End file.
